


Words

by LisaMack



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:45:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 310,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaMack/pseuds/LisaMack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter gets tied up with "The Future Holds a Lion's Heart" from my other fics by they are not from the same 'verse. Sounded funny when I wrote it so I ran with it, please indulge me.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Gimme a Taste of What's to Come

" _ **Saaammm," she whined with a sigh, sounding somewhat defeated as she slid her hand off the table.**_

" _ **Hey hey hey… eyes on your own paper there Missy," Sam replied while trying not to sound too amused about the situation. He caught her wandering hand as it snaked its way towards his thigh.**_

_**He laced their fingers together and she watched him while he continued to flip through the law journal that was in front of him and his eyes never straying from the words on the page as if the last moment hadn't happened. She opened her mouth to protest, but when her light tickling of his palm elicited no reaction; she stopped and somewhat begrudgingly returned to the long forsaken volume that she had in front of her and she just continued to read.** _

" _ **Tooonnnii," his voice finally broke through the still, quiet air between them after what felt like hours later before he kissed her neck. "Toni."**_

" _ **Sam?" She questioned just before his lips caught her own in a soft, delicate kiss. "What happened to us focusing on our own books?" She asked as his lips traveled back down to her neck and then up to her ear, trying desperately not to give in.**_

_**He squeezed her hand (their grip had remained steadfast during the time spent studying) then whispered, "I found it."** _

" _ **REALLY?" She exclaimed excitedly. When she received the stink eye from practically every other student in the library, she offered a few quiet and silent apologies and then hushed her tone asking, "Really? You found it?"**_

" _ **Yep! So… What do you say we get out of here?" Sam continued as he released her hand and stroked her thigh then squeezed it.**_

_**She smirked and quietly replied," Well that takes care of the Crim 220 assignment, but how are you doing with the Poli Sci paper there Smarty Pants?"** _

_**His hand traveled up her thigh and closer to her body and waited until after she sighed to say, "Almost there."** _

As she watched the last of the white bubbles dissolve with the last of the shower water down the drain, she finished turning off the water and released the breath she had been holding with a loud sigh. After a slight hesitation, she pushed the shower curtain back and stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a beach towel that she had received as a gift during high school. For some reason she just never could get used to the feel of cheap motel towels, so she would splurge on 'Laundry Day' so that she could have at least one towel that was softened by the cheapest fabric softener that she had bought that month. This had become the routine that she had become comfortable in even though this time she was staying in a cleaner, much more comfortable Bed and Breakfast.

She wiped a streak across the foggy mirror so that she could see her hazel eyes (well she could somewhat see them) and thought _Why? Why now? He's been out of my life for so long… Why think of him now?_

Her image soon disappeared behind another layer of fog, so she shook her head and focused on brushing her teeth instead of any thoughts of the dream that she had had the night before.

After she was dressed in a form fitting charcoal grey skirt suit with a teal dress shirt, she continued out to her navy blue 2000 GMC Sierra pickup. She had given up long ago caring about the quizzical looks people gave her when she arrived on scene at a job because it was her baby and she loved her truck too much to give it up for anyone.

Today she was once again playing the part of a Counselor employed by the FBI to console families torn apart by a tragic death in the family. She figured that she would be able to slip into the police station without anyone noticing what vehicle she arrived in (of course that is so long as she parked far enough away from the entrance that no one would be the wiser). But then again, even if anyone did notice, she would just blame it on some mix up at the FBI's lot ONCE AGAIN and share a laugh with members of the local police department about the ineptness of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. In her experience, this was one of the easiest ways for her to get an in with the authorities so that she could get the information that she needed to complete her mission.

Slinging her briefcase over her shoulder, she took a deep breath and made her way to the large tinted glass doors. Today would mark her third trip to the Sheriff's office and her heart was feeling very heavy with the knowledge that she STILL wasn't any closer to figuring out what was responsible for killing so many young women in this town. She had been tracking the trail of carnage through two states, but every single time that she thought that she might be getting close to catching it, the trail would go ice cold and then she would feel like she practically had to start from square one again.

She approached the reception area with a feeling of false hope and flashed her warmest smile to the switchboard operator as she pulled out a pen to complete the signing in process.

"Good morning Monica. How's life treating you today?" She questioned cheerfully without allowing her tone to betray her true feelings.

The fairly plump, dark haired woman got up from behind her desk and walked toward the front counter and replied with sorrow overtaking her tone, "So far so good." The older woman passed a sign-in sheet along with a Visitor's pass to the young visitor and continued asking, "How 'bout you Clydie? Ça va?"

After putting down the pen, she looked up at Monica's bloodshot eyes. The puffiness and blotchiness of the skin under her eyes and on her cheeks was faint but there was no mistaking that the receptionist was putting on a brave face after what must have been a very rough night or morning.

"I think that I'm doing much better than you are… Oh goodness Monica, what's wrong? You know… If you don't mind me asking that is," the faux counselor inquired with genuine concern.

"Oh, it's nothing… Honestly I don't even know why it has me so upset," the employee of the Sheriff's Office explained as she opened a gate to grant the civilian access to the inner workings of the office. "There was another girl attacked last night and… And seeing her poor maman… It just broke my heart, you know?"

"I certainly do," the 'Counselor' consoled the receptionist while giving her a reassuring side hug. "And please Monica, don't feel bad about showing your emotions, especially in front me. We have that part of our hearts surgically removed by the Bureau during training."

The receptionist chuckled softly and smiled as she responded, "Thank you for saying that, I really do appreciate it. The victim's maman and papa are in with a couple of your agents right now. Here… I'll show you to the interview room."

 _SHIT! 'MY' agents… The actual FBI is here?_ Before she could reply, the imposter had to take a deep breath to calm her now frantic nerves.

"Thanks Monica," she finally managed to hoarsely reply.

"We understand and we'll be doing everything we can to get to the bottom of this Mr. and Mrs. Boudreaux. I promise, we will be in touch if we find anything else out that might shed some light on it," the shorter of the two male FBI Agents in a plain black suit said as they exited the interrogation room with the sheriff.

Out of instinct the phony Federal Bureau employee/counselor dipped her chin in order to obscure any view that the actual FBI agent would have of her face in an attempt to conceal her identity.

"Clydie! Thank goodness you're here," the Sheriff quietly exclaimed as he ushered her past his two companions into the interview room without once attempting to make introductions between her and the two other men. "It's pretty much the exact same circumstance as the other three victims," he continued to explain in a hushed tone in order to prepare the Counselor for her next resounding performance of someone who was selflessly helping her fellow man.

"Thanks Sheriff… I think I understand. I'll do what I can to help them through this horrible ordeal."

Just as she ducked into the interview room, she inadvertently looked up and briefly made eye contact with the taller of the two Agents causing her to be temporarily winded. She took a moment at the door as she closed it to compose herself before turning towards the two grieving parents in order to try to offer them some consolation. She immediately settled on the same words of comfort that she had spilled out to the other families: **You're right; this is a senseless crime… No, please. You really shouldn't blame yourself… Yes, you should blame the maniac that did this…** As she comforted them, she made every attempt to keep from being distracted by the face that had taken her breath away, but with each passing moment she felt like she might fail.

"Sheriff? Who was that woman?" The taller Agent inquired as he and his partner prepared to leave the building.

"Oh… I thought you knew her, désolé… That was Clydie Anderson. She was sent down by the Bureau as a Counselor shortly after the first attack in order to help the victim's family… It was such a relief to have that help," the Sheriff explained simply. "You two honestly do not know her?"

"Well… We're fairly new to the Baton Rouge office, so I'm sure that we probably just haven't had the chance to meet her yet," the shorter Agent explained while shooting his partner a look of mild confusion. "Isn't that right Agent Plante?"

"Huh? Oh… Yeah. That must be it," Agent Plante replied without hiding that he was still somewhat distracted by the sight of the brunette that he had watched enter the interview room.

The Sheriff didn't question their logic and just held the short gate at the counter open for the Agents to leave saying, "We have to thank you again for getting down here so soon to help us. If we find out anything else that you should know, we will call you right away."

They each shook the Sheriff's hand and departed with the usual pleasantries of keeping the local authorities in the loop as well during their research as well. Once they were outside in the stifling sun and humidity once again, the shorter Agent checked that no one was watching them or listening to what they said and curtly asked, "Sam? Dude! What the hell was that all about back there?"

The younger Winchester was thumbing through one of the four police reports that the receptionist had given him, so he completely ignored his brother's question. Sam was still so engrossed in the typed words on the reports when he reached the Impala that he only looked up when he tried the handle on the passenger door and found that it was still locked. "Dean? What's going on? Seriously… Come on, unlock my door," Sam commented slightly annoyed that his brother had yet to grant him access to the vehicle.

"That's exactly what I've been asking you Sam. What was that all about with the chick back there?"

"Huh? Oh… Uh, it was nothing. She just kind of looked familiar is all… It's nothing."

"Familiar? Like she knows you and she can bust us for not actually being FBI Agents? Sam… Seriously? You're not seeing how this might become a problem?" Dean questioned while holding back his rage and leaning on the roof of the Impala.

"I'm sure it's nothing Dean, so just let it go. Now… Will you unlock my door so that we can get going and start figuring this out?"

Dean wanted to push the matter further, but he chose instead to save the argument he was going to start for later. Well, at least he would stay quiet unless all of this came back to bite them in the ass. He then unlocked his door, but paused before getting into the car when he saw the door to the Sheriff's Office open. Right away he saw the Counselor emerged as she pulled her hair out of the tight bun at the back of her head and shook out her long dark brown locks. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her thumb through her own copy of the police reports as she walked towards the parking lot. She then swiftly exchanged the manila folders in her hands for her set of keys that were hidden within her briefcase without ever once looking up. At the same time, Sam and Dean both watched her in complete silence.

As she walked towards them, Dean then turned his attention towards his brother's face so that he could study it for any signs of recognition. Once she reached the curb, 'Clydie' looked up from her hands and immediately saw the duo standing on each side of the Impala as they were watching her. _SHIT! I am so fucking busted! Okay… Okay, confidence… Just relax. It's just Sam… You can handle him._ She coached herself as she put on a bright smile and diverted her previous course so that she could confront him (because confronting one was easier then facing both of them at the same time). _The best offense is a good defense… Or the best defen… Whatever, you can do this!_

"Oh hey there Sam! Long time no see," she greeted the taller male pleasantly as she wrapped him in a quick hug.

"Yeah… Hey…" He replied slowly with his face contorted into a look of slight confusion.

She swallowed hard and withdrew her arms at lightning speed before she fidgeted with her keys while casting her eyes towards her feet.

Then she quietly said, "Oh… Shit, you don't remember me. Well… I guess that makes sense, it has been a while. Umm… Okay… I'll… Umm… Just… Uhh… You know… I'll just be going then." _DUMBASS! Fuck! Of course he doesn't remember you! Idiot!_ She admonished herself as she turned to make a hasty retreat towards her pickup truck. It was safely parked at the far end of the parking lot and she secretly wished that the sanctuary of its interior was actually closer to her current position, so she resolved to make her feet to move faster than they normally would.

Sam's hand shot out and he gently grabbed the woman's arm. "Toni… Toni! Of course I remember you. I'm sorry, but the whole name change kind of threw me off for a minute." After she paused and turned back to him, Sam flash as sincere a smile as he could muster then asked, "So… You work for the Bureau now?"

She swallowed hard, but tried to hide any discomfort that she was currently feeling. "Umm… Yeah, but it's just kind of free-lancey stuff," Toni lied wanting desperately to put this current conversation to and end before she was arrested for impersonating a Federal Agent. "Well… You're looking good as usual and I really wish that I could stay and chat but I have an appointment that I really have to get to and… Umm… Maybe if you're going to be in town for a while then… Uhh… You know, maybe we could grab a drink or something and catch up. Sound good?" She finished by calling the last bit over her shoulder as he nearly sprinted towards her previous destination.

"Sure… Sounds good," Sam called out after her as his final response.

Dean was nearly doubling over in laughter once his brother turned back towards him and he gasped out, "Smooth Sam… Really fucking smooth."

Sam shot his older brother an undeniable death glare and snapped, "Can we just go now and get to work on the case?"

"Sure Sam, of course we can. But don't go and get all cranky with me just because you struck out swinging with a hot chick that practically threw herself at you."

Toni sat behind the wheel of her pickup and watched the Impala pull out of the parking lot as she calmed her racing heart by taking more than a few deep breaths. Then she made a resolution with herself that she was not going to let Sam Winchester be a distraction while she worked this case. She had an objective that she had to achieve and she wasn't going to allow anything to take her eyes off that target.

Back at her room, Toni went over each of the police reports once again while sipping on a café latte and muffin that was brought to her room every afternoon by the middle aged woman that ran the Bed and Breakfast. Each of the four attacks had taken place in different parts of town, but each of the victims shared the same basic description: female, college student, local, long hair and single.

"What else is there?" She questioned out loud as she tapped her pen on her chin.

Then a name struck her like a punch in the face. It was the one other thing in each of the reports. There was a witness and as luck would have it she didn't live too far away from where Toni was staying. After changing into something more comfortable, Toni grabbed her tape recorder and double checked the address before leaving her room once again. As she slipped out the front door, she thankfully wasn't delayed once again by the well-meaning but somewhat overbearing owner of the B&B.

The home of this witness, Phyllis Sauvage, was close enough to Toni's current location that she chose to walk instead of having the headache of trying to find a parking spot on the crowded, narrow residential street. As she rounded the last corner to put her on Phyllis' street, she stopped dead in her tracks because she was confronted with the same black classic muscle car that she had seen Sam get into with his partner earlier that day.

 _Dammit! Okay, doesn't change anything. This just means that you aren't a reporter anymore and you'll have to follow their lead,_ she thought to herself as she continued towards the sounds of a fairly heated argument.

"Caiss-toi!" An angry voice of an elderly woman shouted as she swatted at the Winchesters with her broom.

"Hey lady… Just calm down!" Dean shouted back as he ducked and just narrowly missed being struck in the side of the head with the broom bristles.

During his hasty retreat, Dean ran square into Sam's chest and they became a mess of tangled limbs. Toni couldn't help but chuckle as she watched the two fully grown males stumble over each other as they tried to flee the Sauvage's yard.

"Crétin! Déblaye le terrain!" Phyllis continued to shout.

"Ma'am we're going," Sam tried in vain to reason with her while helping Dean to stand upright.

"Madame Sauvage? Est-ce que je peux vous aider?" Toni asked politely as she stepped in between the angry French woman and who she still thought were two FBI agents.

"Bien sûr," the older woman replied in a much calmer tone. "Ces deux…"

As the elderly woman continued into a fairly animated explanation, Toni quietly said, "I'm guessing that she only speaks French?"

Then Winchesters simply nodded as their response because they had been muted by their shock that they hadn't been able to win the older woman over with their usual charm.

"Okay then. Just hang back and I'll do the talking," Toni offered with a smirk and a wink. She then turned her attention back to the witness in front of her who had finally calmed down enough for Toni to start her interrogation. "D'accord Madame Sauvage. Si je comprends bien…" Toni continued as she placed a comforting hand on the woman's back and continued their conversation.

"Dude!" Dean quietly exclaimed as he backhanded Sam in the abdomen. "Where the hell did you find this girl?"

"School," Sam replied curtly with his eyes trained on the two females that walked deeper into the yard to sit at a small table in the Sauvage's garden.

"Seriously dude, she's…"

"Shh!" Sam nearly hissed at his older brother. "I'm trying to hear what they're saying."

"…même si vous pensez que c'est rien," the younger female gently probed.

"Like you'll understand any French too," Dean grumbled while walking away towards the curb.

"Je le jure, ma petite. C'était un loup-garou!" The elderly woman stated passionately while holding both of Toni's hands on the table in a desperate attempt to get Toni to believe her.

"'Loup-garou'?" Sam repeated as he started to walk back towards the Impala.

"Does that mean something to you?" Dean asked as he followed his brother, but kept his eyes fixed on the conversation between the two women.

"Not sure," Sam replied. "Where's dad's journal?"

Dean moved to the truck of his beloved car and started to shift through its contents to retrieve the brown leather bound book. Once he found it, he passed it to Sam and they started to pour over the information on its pages.

"Merci! Bon journée," Toni called out as she made her way back over to the Winchesters.

She found Sam half seated on the trunk of the Impala, thumbing through the journal while Dean watched him with a look of frustration etched on his face. Toni wasn't sure what would be the best way to get their attention since they hadn't noticed her standing there, so she opted to simply clear her throat.

They both looked up, but it was Dean that recovered first and asked, "So, what did she have to say?"

"To be honest Agent…" Toni started, but paused when she realized that she had no idea who the male she was speaking to was, other than being Sam's partner.

Dean immediately recognized that she was still completely fooled into thinking that he and Sam were real FBI agents, so he thrust his right hand forward and quickly injected, "Page, Agent Page. But please, just call me Dean."

She smiled warmly and replied, "Okay, Dean. Umm… I'm Toni by the way." She swallowed uncomfortably hoping that the Sheriff hadn't told them her alias, and then continued, "Umm… To be honest, I'm not sure that she's the most reliable eye witness. She might just be you know… coo coo."

Sam closed the journal and placed it on the trunk behind him and furrowed his brows contemplatively and asked, "What makes you say that?"

"Umm… well," Toni laughed uncomfortably despite herself. "She is absolutely convinced that it was a 'loup-garou', but that's just not possible."

"Well you never know…" Dean started cautiously, not wanting to freak out a civilian when they needed her help at the moment. "So, Sam did you find anything on that?"

Sam shook his head and grumbled slightly. "No, there was nothing about it in there. Guess that means we have some research to do."

Dean nodded and Toni stood and watched their non-verbal communication in awe. Then Dean continued as if she wasn't even standing there.

"Okay, well once we figure out what that is, then I guess we'll be able to finish this for good."

Toni snorted and the Winchesters whipped their heads around and stared at her, unsure how to respond to her reaction. "Sorry… Sorry, but there's just no way that's what she saw," she explained while barely holding back her laughter.

"Oh yeah?" Dean questioned with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "So you know what that is? A Lou whatever you said?" 

"Oh shit, sorry," Toni replied somewhat remorsefully. "I didn't totally switch out of French mode there. Yeah, a 'loup-garou' is just the French term for 'werewolf'. So… Pretty sure that wasn't what she saw."

Sam and Dean remained silent and then smiled uneasily at the petite woman in front of them. When Toni realized that the two 'Agents' in front of her weren't finding the explanation as amusing as she did, she argued, "Seriously guys, come on. First, there's no such thing as werewolves. And second, even if they were real, the full moon isn't for another week."

The Winchesters looked at each other while contemplating this piece of information that Toni had provided. Without attempting to hide her annoyance, Toni rolled her eyes and huffed as she reached into her briefcase to pull out her pocket calendar. She then flipped to the current month so quickly that she nearly tore the page.

"See!" She retorted almost angrily. "Even IF you believe her bullshit story, we still have five days until someone would change!"

Dean shrugged nonchalantly in an effort to cut the tension somewhat then politely replied, "Well at least it gives us a starting point."

Relieved that she didn't appear to be under the threat of being arrested for impersonation; Toni turned to walk away and called over her shoulder, "Well good luck with that guys."

As they watched Toni make her way to her destination, Dean elbowed Sam in the side asking, "Are you seriously just going to let her walk away?"

Sam shrugged then turned his attention to one of the police reports that he had obtained earlier in the day.

"Well? Come on Sam, we might need her services in the future," Dean commented.

Sam raised an eyebrow at his brother and shook his head at Dean's rationale.

"Dude, gross… Not like that. Apparently we'll be running into some people where her French skills might come in handy…"

Sam sighed and closed the folder he was holding and shoved it into Dean's chest saying, "Fine, you might have a point there. I'll catch up with her and then I'll meet you back at the room."

"That's more like it," Dean replied almost inaudibly as he walked to the driver side.

"What'd you say?" The younger Winchester nearly snapped. Dean's head shot up and he flashed his brother a warm grin. "I said, 'Perfect, I'll see you later'."

Sam shook his head, still not wanting to chase after a ghost from his past, but then he eased into a comfortable jog while calling out, "Hey Toni! Hold up a minute!"

Dean remained where he was parked on the street and watch the exchange between the two on the sidewalk. He smiled to himself when he finally saw the two of them walking down the sidewalk side by side, then eased the Impala into the street en route to the room he share with his brother.


	2. Give Me a Medicine

Toni turned to walk away and called over her shoulder, "Well good luck with that guys."

 _Okay…weird_ Toni thought to herself as she started down the street towards the Bed and Breakfast where she had been staying for the past four nights. _They're the freaking FBI… They shouldn't believe in werewolves and all that other supernatural shit._

She continued down the street while shaking her head and started going over everything else that Phyllis Sauvage had explained to her.

_A cure? No way there's a…_

"Hey Toni! Hold up a minute!" Sam's voice shouted from behind her.

She paused on the sidewalk and was just about to ignore him to continue walking when she felt a strong hand land on her right shoulder. Feeling the heat radiate from his palm caused her heart to race, but she managed to keep her breathing steady and faked a calm demeanor.

"Hey Toni… Umm does your offer for catching up over a drink still stand?" He asked almost sweetly while she still had her back facing him.

Before turning to face him, Toni took a deep breath and let it out slowly. As she started to turn, Sam finally released her shoulder which helped to ease some of her feelings of nervous anticipation slightly.

When she pivoted to face him, she was somewhat taken aback to find that only Sam had come chasing after her.

"Sure," she finally replied sheepishly. "But… Umm… Aren't you and your partner going to go out and hunt down a werewolf?"

Sam offered the barest hint of a smile and replied, "Well… I think that even if it can turn before the moon is full, it's probably safe to say that it most likely won't turn until night falls."

Toni allowed herself to chuckle softly and relaxed her stance considerably. "Okay, you probably have a point there. Uhh… So, I think happy hour is starting at the pub close to my B&B. That is unless you're on duty right now or whatever."

Sam shook his head and loosened his tie as he replied, "Nah, I think I'll take myself off the clock until at least midnight."

Toni motioned down the street with her head and turned back towards her previous path. "It's just down the street here and not too far away… So… FBI huh? Being a lawyer wasn't good enough for you?"

Sam snickered and ran his right hand through his shaggy brown hair and replied with a slight chuckle, "Yeah well, it's a living you know? But, hey! Looks like I'm not the only one that jumped ship."

He reached over and held her left hand which sent an almost electric shock through her body. "Hmm… No ring. Does that mean that you're divorced?"

She let him awkwardly hold her hand with her left arm stretched across her stomach as they continued down the sidewalk with Sam close to her right side as she replied, "I'm sorry? What did you say Sam?"

"Well your last name is 'Anderson' now, so I figured that you had gone and gotten yourself married, but now I see that you have no ring on your finger…"

"Oh… That…" She started as she slipped her hand out of his grasp and slid it into her jeans' pocket. Toni took a moment while trying to decide how she would explain the name that he Sheriff had obviously used to introduce her to Sam and his partner.

_Do I tell him the truth?_

"When I went to Quantico, I used my mom's maiden name and started going by my middle name as well. It was kind of the easiest way for me to have a fresh start."

"Yeah, I get that. So… I guess that means that things between you and your parents never…" Sam trailed off and stopped at the corner while they waited for the traffic light to change and looked down at the woman beside him and tried to sound somewhat sympathetic to her situation.

Toni shook her head and forced her tone to remain steady so that she could answer clearly, "No, no it wasn't really anything like that per se. After my brothers and mom were killed, dad went downhill and I just really needed a change."

The light had changed, so Toni stepped off the curb and continued towards the lively crowd in front of the destination of her choice. She didn't allow herself to acknowledge the impact her statement should have had on the taller man, so she didn't notice when her words failed to evoke any emotions from Sam. Instead, he maintained a steady pace with her and took a moment to reply in order to force his tone to mimic something that could be interpreted as concern.

"I'm sorry to hear that Toni. I know how close you were with all of them. Can you tell me about it?"

After she pulled open the door for the pub, Toni motioned for Sam to enter and replied, "How 'bout I buy you a drink and I'll tell you all about it."

Sam chuckled loudly and responded, "Shouldn't I be buying you the drink then?"

Toni smile cheekily and shrugged as she sat down. "Whatever. If you insist, I won't object to you buying us a round or two."

Before either of them could think about flagging down their server after sitting at a table for two near the back that still had a good view of the door, a bubbly blond arrived asking, "What can I get for you two?"

"I'll have a beer and she'll have a double rum and coke," Sam replied as he slipped his suit jacket off his shoulders.

Toni smirked and stared at him from across the table and finally caught his eye after he finished rolling his sleeves back to his mid forearm.

"Sorry. That is your drink, isn't it?" He apologized as soon as their eyes locked.

She shook her head and her smirk morphed into a warm smile.

"Yeah, it is. I'm just surprised that you remembered," she responded affectionately.

Sam mirrored her and expression and then they both quietly thanked their server as she placed their drinks in front of each of them. After taking a large drink, they both stared at the table and fidgeted with whatever they could on the table, but after a minute or two, Sam started to feel annoyed rage start to bubble inside him, but he didn't want to show her that response, so he reached across the table and still Toni's hands.

"It's okay Toni… If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to."

She raised her head and Sam saw the trail of one lone tear that had slid down her cheek that she had been trying to hide from him. He reached up to hold her face and brushed it away with his thumb while softly saying, "Really, it's no big deal."

Toni held his hand briefly then removed it from her face and said, "No, it's fine Sam. I just haven't thought about them, you just focus on thinking about them for so long that I forgot about how much I missed them." She took another long sip of the dark brown liquid as she prepared herself and then she held his gaze as she recounted, "Mom was the first one we lost. She was stationed in Iraq and her caravan was hit by a suicide bomber. Then we lost Alexander in Afghanistan when his squad was killed by a roadside bomber." She paused once again to take a fairly large gulf from her drink because her mouth was feeling unusually parched. "And if that wasn't bad enough, William was killed on the base in Everett in an 'accident'. (She emphasized her sarcastic tone when she said the word 'accident' by raising her hands and gesturing with her fingers to create air quotes.) After that the Colonel completely lost it and has nearly drank himself to death on more than one occasion."

"Holy shit Toni, that's so unbelievable," Sam managed to reply with a tone of genuine shock. "But your dad… he's still around?"

"Barely. He's in a facility now where the Air Force sends retired officers that… Well frankly where they put officers out to pasture. He can't really function on his own anymore, so he has a nurse live with him 24/7. I don't visit him much anymore because he seems to get worse when I'm there… I just get weekly updates now instead. So far, he's been doing a bit better and has cut back a bit on his drinking over this past month."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sam commented which elicited a defeated shrug from the woman sitting across the table from him. "And the incident with William… You don't believe it was an accident?"

"I KNOW it wasn't," Toni replied sharply after she finished off her drink. Once the words left her lips, she realized the mistake that she had made and immediately attempted to start some damage control. "What I mean is that I know the official report isn't what really happened. That was kind of what pushed the Colonel so far over the edge."

"But you know the truth? I mean, you know what happened?" Sam inquired as he signaled to the server to bring another round of drinks to their table.

"Yeah, but we couldn't get them to change the official report to keep it from sounding like William had cause the accident himself. The Colonel went ballistic after that and completely shut down and after trying more times than I care to admit I finally had to let it go."

Toni refocused her attention on her drink with the hopes that that explanation would suffice so that she wouldn't have to come up with another lie after having consumed so much alcohol. Sam noticed her discomfort and although he wanted to press the matter further, he fell into a comfortable silence with her instead.

When Toni noticed that Sam seemed satisfied with her explanation, she shifted their attention onto him by asking, "Well enough about me and my sad stories. What's new with you? Last I heard, you were road tripping with your brother and if I recall correctly Jess had mentioned to a few people that you were looking for your dad or something?"

Sam chuckled softly but seemed to remain completely unfazed by the use of his dead girlfriend's name.

"Yeah, Dean and I spent months looking for our dad. Once we finally did find him, we spent some time together, just the three of us… But then we lost him after a car accident."

This time it was Toni's turn to show Sam some compassion, so she reached across the table and held his hand tightly. As she stroked his hand with her thumb, she remorsefully said, "Oh God Sam, I'm so sorry to hear that, I wouldn't have… I mean I'm sorry for your loss."

Sam just shrugged then watched as Toni interlaced the fingers of her right hand with his left. She hadn't seem to be aware of what she was doing because she had turned her head to signal to their server that they were ready for another round of drinks. When she turned her attention back to her companion, she forced her eyes away from his face and followed Sam's gaze to their hands.

The embarrassment she felt from initiating such intimate contact struck her hard and she muttered some words of apology as she tried to release her grip on Sam's hand.

Sam responded by crushing his fingers down onto hers in order to retain the contact they had. As she winced in pain, he flatly replied, "Don't apologize. This is nice." He looked up away from their hands into her eyes and saw them clouded in pain, so he loosened his hold slightly and said, "Sorry. I guess I don't know my own strength."

As he stroked the back of her hand to alleviate some of the throbbing, Toni whispered, "I've missed you Sam."

He offered the barest hint of a nod as acknowledgement and held her hand softly in his own. They then continued drinking beverages while once again falling into a comfortable silence.

They ordered two more rounds during their conversation about everything and anything that had happened to each other during the nearly seven years that they had been separated. Even though no topic was off limits, Sam managed to effectively evade the topics of Lucifer, the Apocalypse and all of the 'odd jobs' that he and his brother had been doing over the past five years. Toni was more than happy to allow Sam to remain vague about some of the details surrounding many of his stories because that gave her permission to remain ambiguous about her knowledge of the supernatural.

When they were done, Sam refused to allow Toni to offer any money to cover their tab and escorted her out of the bar despite Toni's numerous protests.

"Really Sam, it's not that far," Toni objected without using a forceful tone. "I really don't need an escort, I swear."

Sam waited a moment for her to stumble slightly as she walked and when she did, he caught her arm and then wrapped his arm around her waist protectively.

"That may be so, but I would prefer that you actually make it to your room in one piece. I'll sleep better tonight if you let me."

Toni threw her arms around Sam's waist and as she hugged him, she exclaimed in an exaggerated, cheerful tone, "My hero!" After she felt him chuckle, she released him and more earnestly said, "I tripped on a rock Prince Charming, but I do appreciate your misguided concern."

Sam let his hand linger in the space between Toni's shoulder blades as they continued down the path. When he noticed that Toni was in fact walking fine on her own, he removed his hand saying, "I forgot about your unnatural tolerance for alcohol."

Toni shrugged shyly and was just about to make a smart ass reply, but was interrupted by a female with long blond hair and talon like nails that tackled her on the path.

"SAMMY! DOWN!" Dean shouted from behind his brother.

As soon as Sam hit the ground, Dean squeezed the trigger of his Colt MK IV 1911. The second and third rounds struck their intended target and the victim let out a blood curdling scream right into Toni's left ear.

The attacker finally released her grasp on Toni's body when the fourth bullet struck her in the upper back. She then tore off down an adjacent alley and Dean's desire to give chase was immediately overshadowed by his feelings of remorse at the sight of Toni's crumpled body on the path. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach when he saw that there was a small river of blood flowing from her left side. Dean holstered his side arm into the small of his back and kneeled down beside his brother who was trying his best to inspect the wounds.

When Dean's hands joined Sam's on Toni's upper back, Sam focused his wrath filled eyes on his brother and asked heatedly, "Why the hell aren't you chasing it?"

Dean had removed his flannel over shirt and pressing it to the gaping wound on Toni's shoulder when he calmly replied, "Because I know who it is Sam. If those three shots didn't do the trick, then we'll just gank her tomorrow."

The younger Winchester nodded as he wrapped the limp female in his blazer and Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Sam's facial expression soften significantly.

"Sammy? Did it bite her?" Dean asked hesitantly as Sam scooped Toni's petite frame into his arms.

"No… I don't think so… It just looked like a couple of pretty nasty claw marks."

Despite her injuries, Toni was able to raise her head slightly and placed it on Sam's shoulder as he started down the path, carrying her with ease.

"Once we get her back to her room, we should be able to inspect them more thoroughly," Sam explained as Dean followed closely behind.

"No," Toni objected painfully into Sam's shoulder.

Sam stopped and gently pushed the hair that had fallen into her face back and tucked it behind her ear.

"But we won't know how badly it hurt you unless we can get a better look at the damage," Sam explained very plainly.

"I know… But… Just not… my room," Toni choked out with her features twisting in pain a little bit more with every word. "Madame Robideaux would… would never let us get… past the front desk… if she saw me… like this."

Sam looked over at Dean, who shrugged and replied, "The Impala is about a block away. Do you think you can make it Toni?"

She nodded so faintly that if her head hadn't been touching Sam's shoulder, he wouldn't have registered her response at all.

"Which way is it Dean?" Sam asked as he let Dean lead him through an alleyway and away from Toni's temporary home.

By the time they reached the car, Toni had started to shiver despite being held tightly against Sam's chest. Dean held the back door open while Sam tried to gently place Toni on the back seat. As he started to ease her onto the leather seat, Toni's grip tightened fiercely on Sam's blood soaked dress shirt.

"Don't leave me alone," she whimpered desperately.

Sam couldn't hide his look of confusion, even if he tried, but Dean ignored the look on his brother's face and said, "It would probably be better if you sat back there with her to keep her from bleeding out."

"You sure you're not just worried about her blood ruining the interior of your precious car?" Sam retorted irritably as he shifted Toni's body on his lap so that he was more comfortable on the bench seat.

Dean turned to look over his shoulder to respond saying, "Sammy I'm hurt! I just figured that if you sat with her that you could keep pressure on the wounds until we can patch your friend up."

"Yeah sure, whatever," Sam replied. "Can we get going before she bleeds to death?"

Dean remained silent because he saw something that he thought were tears in his brother's eyes, so he just turned back towards the front of the car and eased it out onto the street. He quickly turned the car towards the motel where he and Sam were staying on the outskirts of town as quickly as he could.

A soft smile soon made its home on Dean's face as he drove because he was finally getting a glimpse of the brother that he missed so dearly, the brother that used to plead with Dean to treat everyone they met more humanely. The brother who had sacrificed himself to lock Lucifer in his cage before he became the man that was more obsessed with hunting down the supernatural than the father Sam used to complain about pretty much with every breath he took.

"Shh… It'll be okay Toni. Dean and I are going to take care of you," Sam repeated softly over and over during the relatively silent ride.

"How's she doing? How's her breathing?" Dean asked as he tried to catch Sam's eye in the rearview mirror.

"Shallow… But steady. Dean she's losing blood fast…" Sam replied without letting any terror or worry creep into his voice.

Dean screeched the Impala to a halt in the abandoned parking lot in a spot directly in front of their room at the motel. Before Sam could request any assistance, Dean had the door to Sam's right-hand side opened wide and was helping to hold Toni steady as Sam slid out. Once Sam was standing with a completely limp woman in his arms, he nodded to his brother who appeared to be frozen in his place in an attempt to get him to focus on the motel door.

Dean seemed to snap out of his trance quickly and hurried to the door saying, "Right… Sorry… I'll grab the door."

The Winchesters switched into autopilot mode as soon as they entered the sparse motel room. After throwing the door open, Dean rushed to the bathroom to grab some fresh(ish) towels and their first aid kit. Sam gently placed Toni face down on the bed closest to the door and after he shed his blood soaked shirt, he found a pair of scissors to carefully cut the sides of the woman's lightweight pink knit sweater. After carefully peeling it from her body, he tossed the remains of the sweater onto the pile of blood soaked clothing at the end of the bed. He reached out and touched the clasp of Toni's bra, but noticed that the claw marks were situated in such a way that it wasn't necessary for him to remove the dark red stained white lace bra to tend to her wounds, so he left it as was.

Dean materialized on the bed on Toni's right hand side and he poured some peroxide onto the streaks of read that dominated left upper portion of her back.

Toni then hissed in pain and the brothers exchanged relieved looks because they finally had some confirmation that she was still with them.

"Sam?" She pleaded into the pillow under her head.

Dean was using the towel to wipe away the mixture of blood and peroxide and he nodded towards Sam to encourage his brother to offer the injured woman some comfort.

Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes before he slid off the bed and kneeled down beside Toni so that they were face to face.

"Sam?"

"I'm here Toni. I'm here," he replied softly as he stroked her cheek gently.

Toni forced her eyes to open so that she could confirm that he was really there and she smiled when she saw that Sam was kneeling beside her. While comforting her, Sam nearly missed ceasing the movement of her left arm when she tried to reach out to him.

"Hey… Shh… Toni don't worry, Dean's gonna fix you up, but you have to stay still, okay?" Sam quietly instructed as he placed her arm back on the bed.

Toni winced as Dean started to sew the first of the cavernous claw marks on her shoulder blade. Sam continued to stroke her cheek and offered words of comfort and encouragement while Dean continued his work. If Toni's eyes didn't flinch and periodically squeeze more tightly shut every once in a while, Sam would have been concerned that she was slipping away from them because she was maintaining an unnervingly steady rhythm with her breathing. Since they had spent so much time apart, Sam had forgotten that Toni had been raised in a military family, so her upbringing had taught her how to remain stoic when in pain or being tortured because anything less would have been completely unacceptable.

Once Dean was finished his crude stitches he hurried into the bathroom to soak the last clean towel in the room in some soapy water to wash Toni's back. She then opened her eyes briefly and when she locked gazes momentarily with Sam's large hazel eyes, she smiled faintly then she let her lids slide closed once again.

"Sam," she stated quietly as if to confirm that everything was okay because he was there with her.

"Almost done Toni… Just hold on a little bit longer," Sam whispered without evoking as much emotion as he could muster into his tone.

Dean finished washing the left side of her back and then covered the stitches the best that he could with gauze and tape. As he started to clean the right side of her back, Dean gathered Toni's hair into a crude ponytail. After washing it, he patted her back dry softly with the untouched end of the same towel.

"Dude! What the hell?" The elder man exclaimed as he dropped the towel onto the floor (without attempting to get it even remotely close to the pile that Sam had created earlier).

"What?" Sam inquired with a tone of annoyance from his post beside the bed.

Dean gathered the dark strands of hair that flowed closed to the small of Toni's back once again. He remained mute and motioned with his head and chin to indicate that there was something on the bed that he needed to share with his brother.

Sam checked Toni's face one last time and when he saw that she looked like she was sleeping soundly, he stood up to talk with his brother.

"What is it Dean?" He questioned still sounding somewhat irritated.

Dean gently placed the hair in his hand over the gauze covered wound on Toni's left hand shoulder blade and jutted his chin to her right side. Sam shifted some loose strands to the side so that it was out his eye-line.

When he saw a familiar tattoo of a pentagram encircled by a sunburst, Sam released the hair in his left hand and stared at his brother dumbfounded.

"What the fuck?" Sam finally asked quietly.

Dean just shrugged then they both heard Toni happily moan a final "Sam" even though she was in a deep sleep.


	3. Teach Me a Lesson, Maybe I Deserve to Know

_**She was so excited that she had finally finished all of the researched she needed to do for her paper that she was nearly skipping as she made her way down the deserted dorm hallway to her room. Toni had been meticulous when she planned out her school schedule so that she would have a weekday off in the hopes that she would be able to work in her dorm room without any distractions from her room mate whenever she needed to study or work on a paper.** _

_**As she made her way to her room, she mentally tried to organize the information that she had accumulated over the past month as she looked it all over in her notebook. She shouldn't have allowed this happy thought to distract her, but she did and she let her guard down ever so slightly and he was more than happy to take advantage of that.** _

_**He sat in an alcove in the hallway of her dorm, reading a book while he waited for her to make an appearance. His class had unexpectedly been cancelled, so he decided that he would try to surprise her by popping by unannounced. He noticed her first as she made her way down the hall, humming to herself as she read through her notes and he quickly devised a plan to sneak up on her.** _

_**He chuckled silently to himself when she failed to notice him, but waited a moment before standing up and tucking his paperback novel into his right rear pocket. He was still surprised how quietly he could follow somebody, but it had been drilled into him at a young age that this ability could mean the difference between life and death, so he really should have been used to it by now.** _

_**He managed to get within arms' reach of her without being detected, so he decided to see his mischievous plan through to the end. He then reached out and grabbed the brunette by the right shoulder without uttering a word.** _

_**What he hadn't anticipated was that she had heard a floor board creak under his weight before he reached out to grasp her shoulder, so she simultaneously dropped her notebook while gripping his wrist with her left hand. Before he could react to what she was doing, the petite woman was able to flip him over her shoulder and he soon found himself flat on his back on the floor in front of her.** _

_**When the face of her 'attacker' registered in her mind, Toni immediately regretted her reaction and she whipped around to straddle his body.** _

" _ **Oh my God! Sam! I'm SO sorry! I had no idea it was you!" Toni apologized as she kneeled in front of him with a leg on either side of Sam's legs and helped him into a seated position.**_

_**Sam rubbed the back of his head and with his eyes still closed replied, "No, it's entirely my fault. I should have known better than to sneak up on an army brat that can take on her two older brothers."** _

_**Toni was now seated in Sam's lap and she held his head in both hands to survey his head, neck and upper body for any serious injuries. When she was satisfied that she hadn't caused any life threatening or permanent damage, Toni pulled Sam's face to her own and placed a soft kiss on his lips. As she moved to release his lips, Sam placed on of his hands on her upper back and the other on the back of her head to deepen the kiss.** _

_**They finally relented and backed off when they both became winded and had to take a breath. Toni leaned into Sam's torso so that she could reclaim her notebook off the floor and helped to keep him in a seated position.** _

_**While her breasts were plastered against his chest, Toni breathlessly whispered into Sam's ear, "Maybe you should let me make it up to you."** _

_**Sam laughed softly and hugged Toni tightly and huskily responded, "I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon."** _

_**She then tried to ease herself off of his lap, but Sam once again pulled her close. Then he started to stand while picking her up at the same time. He somehow managed to get to his feet with Toni's arms and legs wrapped tightly around his neck and waist. He then took a moment to ensure he was steady as Toni placed long lingering kisses on his neck and jawline. When Sam took a step forward, his momentum went backward instead of forward, so Toni unwound her legs from his waist and she planted them squarely on the floor but she kept her arms around his neck to pull Sam forward to keep him from falling backwards.** _

" _ **Okay, we'll try the hot and sexy you carrying me to my room another time," Toni offered as she helped to keep Sam steady.**_

_**Toni then held his face in both of her hands and caressed his cheeks with her thumbs as he closed his eyes and nodded his head. She then pulled his face down and kissed him softly before she took his left hand in her right hand and laced their fingers together tightly.** _

_**While she gently tugged him towards her dorm room, she said, "You should rest a bit Sam. God… I really am SO so sorry."** _

_**Sam leaned against the door jamb of Toni's room with his eyes closed while she fought with the lock and key as he stroked her arm gently and said, "I'll live, promise. I think that I just had a bit of a head rush back there."** _

_**She looked up at him with a sad and sympathetic pouty look as she pushed the door open. Then she pulled him into her room and instructed, "You lie down and I'll grab an ice pack."** _

_**He flopped onto her bed and it seemed to shrink under his large frame. Toni turned to walk over to her mini-fridge, but was halted by Sam sitting up and pulling her into his lap. He pulled her toward him and Toni didn't have enough time to react so she let him engulf her mouth with his own in a passionate kiss.** _

_**They maintained their nearly desperate contact and only separated long enough for Toni to pull Sam's polo shirt over his head and for Sam to free Toni from her form fitting top. They maintained their feverish contact until Toni disengaged herself when she felt Sam working at undoing the button and fly of her jeans.** _

_**After she rolled onto the floor beside the bed, Toni heard Sam utter a frustrated moan and she smiled brightly despite herself.** _

" _ **TOE KNEE," he groaned as he laid back and stroked himself through his jeans.**_

_**Her smile grew as she stood up and walked over to her desk where she picked up a magnet of a four leaf clover. She showed it to Sam as she explained, "Just so that Vanessa won't interrupt us."** _

_**She could still hear Sam laughing as she snaked her arm through a crack in the door to affix the magnet to their white board. When she turned back to him, Sam was nearly hysterical with laughter.** _

_**Toni finished unzipping her jeans and stepped out of them saying, "Shut up Sam! It was Vanessa idea, not mine! And it works quite well thank you very much."** _

_**She was now dressed in only her bra and panties as she crawled over the end of the bed and knelt over his body.** _

_**Sam had calmed his laughter enough that he could take in the vision of the gorgeous brunette that was now nearly naked and hovering over him on all fours. She leaned down and reclaimed his lips with her own and he worked at undoing his jeans so that he could shimmy out of them without disrupting Toni's masterful tongue in his mouth.** _

_**After his jeans hit the floor with a thud, Toni whispered, "Do you want to be on top this time?"** _

_**Sam laughed into her mouth, but still managed to flip her so that she was lying comfortably on the mattress while he was now holding the weight of his torso off of her body. He dipped his head in to kiss her while Toni hooked her thumbs in the waist of Sam's boxers so the she could work at removing them from his body. Sam had never shied away from her forwardness, so he followed suite and undid the front clasp bra before carefully removing it and her matching pair of panties before lavishing her flesh with warm open-mouth kisses.** _

_**Once they were both completely naked, they panted with excitement until Sam realized that he had come to her room ill prepared for this course of action, so he started to push himself away from her.** _

_**Toni quickly clasped his ass cheeks firmly in each hand and push his groin towards hers despite his vigorous protests.** _

_**She seemed to understand he was reluctant to proceed, but she kept her right hand glued to his butt cheek while she reached behind her head with her left hand. When it reappeared, she presented Sam with a square black package saying, "Always be prepared Mister Winchester."** _

_**After the third used condom was tossed into the waste basket, Sam held Toni tightly to his chest and nuzzled his face into her hair at the back of her neck.** _

_**Toni was starting to drift off to sleep as Sam moved her hair out of his way so he could nibble at the back of her neck when the vibration of her cell phone on the night stand beside her head brought her back to reality.** _

_**With an annoyed groan, she reached out and illuminated the message that awaited her.** _

_**After Sam heard her snort back a laugh he asked, "What did the text say?"** _

_**Toni placed her phone back where she had found it then rolled over so that she was face to face with Sam. Before replying she placed a warm kiss on his lips then said, "Vanessa said 'Don't worry, the whole dorm heard you get lucky. I'll see you tomorrow'."** _

_**Sam stared at her wide eyed for a moment and then he rolled onto his back and pulled her partially onto his chest.** _

_**Once they were comfortable he said, "Well after a slight intermission, I say we go another round and make sure anyone that missed that last performance is just as jealous."** _

_**Toni laughed but was too satisfied to waste any energy on a witty rejoinder, so she just let herself drift asleep in his arms.** _

When she woke up, Toni found herself face down on an unfamiliar, dingy motel room bed. Before she would raise her head to tip anyone off that she was awake, Toni tried to remember the last few things that had happened before she ended up on this bed.

" _SAMMY! DOWN!" Yeah… Someone yelled at Sam._ _ **BANG BANG BANG**_ _Gunshots… A scream… Pain… Yeah, a burning pain. Wait… Did that bitch cut me?_

She rolled her left shoulder ever so slightly and could feel the barest tug of the tape that was holding down the gauze over her wound.

"… _then we'll just gank her tomorrow." Well they patched me up so… Sam! "…Don't worry, Dean's gonna fix you up…"_

Before lift her head to check if Sam had been the one who tended to her wounds, the sound of the room door opening froze her as she was. The heavily booted feet of the man that had entered stalked their way over to the tiled floor of the kitchenette area. As he unloaded some bottles into the fridge, a door to her right opened and another person entered the room. Their steps sounded much softer, almost as if they were barefoot or wearing only socks.

"Any changes?" The male voice in the kitchen asked.

 _Dean_ she thought to herself as she let her whole body relax and then she took in her first deep breath of the day.

"She slept better today… Less thrashing and no nightmares," Sam answered with his voice briefly being muffled as he pulled a shirt over his head. "How 'bout you? Any luck?"

Toni heard the unmistakable sound of the top being popped off of a beer bottle before Dean pull a chair across the linoleum floor before taking a seat and answering, "Bitch hasn't been home since the night she jumped Toni. Although her sorority sisters said they'd call if she shows her face there."

"Well looks like she got someone else last night, so we know you didn't kill her the other night," Sam commented as he joined Dean at the table.

"Yeah," Dean sighed with a tone of defeat. "And it was on the other side of town from where she attacked you guys. I just can't seem to figure out a pattern here."

Toni had finally rolled over onto her right side silently and she opened her eyes just enough that she could make out the two men at the table. As she watched them, they started pouring over police reports and crime scene photos. She tried to push herself into a seated position, but found it impossible not to let out a painful cry when her movements caused her crude stitches to pull against her wound.

Sam jumped to his feet and was beside Toni instantaneously.

"Hey, welcome back to the land of the living," Sam greeted her as he gently helped her to sit up on the bed.

"Thanks," Toni answered as she rubbed her left arm trying to get the feeling back into it. "How long was I out?"

"36 hours," Dean called from his spot at the table without taking his eyes off the paperwork in front of him.

"Really?" She almost mouthed to Sam and he nodded with an odd smile tugging at his lips.

"And… Where's my shirt?" She whispered to Sam hoping to keep from attracting Dean's attention while she sat on the bed in only her jeans and white lace bra.

"Sorry, it was pretty trashed after the werewolf attacked you, so it was easier to cut it off so that Dean could stitch you up," Sam replied as he pulled a tee shirt out of a small red suitcase. "Here you go."

She tried to pull it on, but between the blood encrusted stitches and the mild muscle atrophy from sleeping for so long, Toni could barely lift her left arm.

"Let me give you a hand," Sam offered as he guided her arms into the shirt and gently pulled it over her head.

"Thanks Sam," Toni replied as she let Sam help her off the bed. Once she was standing she notice the familiar luggage at the end of the bed she had been sleeping on. "Umm… Either you guys have incredible taste or are those my bags?"

Dean looked up as Sam sat Toni at the table and shrugged replying, "We weren't sure how long you'd be out so I took the liberty of checking you out."

Toni laughed against the mug of coffee Sam had handed her and said, "I can't believe that Madame Robideaux let you do that."

"Well… She didn't, so I had to go with plan B… Umm… Don't be surprised if 'Clydie Anderson' becomes the subject of a missing person's report," Dean explained as he drank his beer and watched Toni as she looked through the notes he and Sam had compiled.

"Hmm… Guess that's one less alias I can use then," Toni mumbled as she remained focused on a couple of photos from two of the crime scenes.

"Alias?" Sam inquired without sounding accusatory, but allowed her to hear that his curiosity had been definitely peaked.

 _SHITFUCK!_ She cringed to herself. "Umm…" She started as she sat back and locked eyes with the two men across the table from her. "So… Okay… Here's the deal… And please don't arrest me, but I don't actually work for the FBI…"

She paused a moment while her words sunk in and when neither male made a move, she continued, "Okay… I have absolutely nothing to do with the FBI, but I use that as a cover when I work an investigation. Now… I totally know that it's wrong… Not to mention COMPLETELY illegal, but it's the easiest way for me to get the information that I need."

Dean started to chuckled and finished his beer then put his arms out wide as he replied, "Sweetheart, does this look like a place where the FBI would be housing their agents?"

Toni fell silent and stared at them with her face contorted in a look of pure confusion.

Sam walked over and pat Toni on the right shoulder and said, "Toni, I'd like you to meet my brother, Dean."

Toni looked up at Sam and them back at Dean, but remained completely mute as she tried to process this information.

"Wait a second… You two… You're not…?"

"No, we're not," Sam answered while he gently rubbed her right shoulder blade right where they had found her tattoo.

"Oh… So then… That's why you know about the weird stuff that's been going on… Why the werewolf thing didn't freak you out," she responded softly.

"Yep," Dean commented simply as he stood up to get another beer. "Turns out we're hunters just like you."

Toni put her coffee cup down then questioned them sounding genuinely confused, "You're a what?"


	4. Cut Me Down to Size and Paralyze Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets tied up with "The Future Holds a Lion's Heart" from my other fics by they are not from the same 'verse. Sounded funny when I wrote it so I ran with it, please indulge me.

Toni put down her mug and questioned them sounding genuinely confused, "You're a what?"

Dean shot her a befuddled look of his own then replied, "A hunter."

"Okay… Not really seeing how that's relevant here," Toni continued. "And Sam… You should know me better than that… I would never kill an animal for sport or amusement."

Sam's hand stopped moving and he seemed frozen for a moment. "No… Not that kind… We… we saw your tattoo and just came to the conclusion that you were a hunter."

She looked from Sam to Dean and then back to Sam. It was as if she thought she would be able to figure out what they were saying just by getting a better look at each of them.

"Sam… That tattoo is to ward off demon possession. I really don't understand what you guys are trying to get at here."

The younger Winchester joined his brother on the opposite side of the table from Toni replying, "Yeah, we know that." He tugged on the collar of his shirt to show her his matching ink. "When Dean says 'hunter', he means that you hunt the supernatural, just like we do."

Toni blushed slightly at her misunderstanding and quietly confessed, "Oh… I didn't know there was a specific name for it."

Dean and Sam shared a soft laugh with her then Dean questioned, "So, what do you call it when people ask you what you do?"

"To be honest, it's never really comes up," She admitted flatly. "The Colonel is the only family that I have left and he doesn't really ask me any questions about what I'm doing anymore."

Dean didn't fully comprehend that explanation, but he didn't press the matter because he noticed that Toni was deliberately avoiding making eye contact with either of them.

"How long have you been doing it?" Sam asked in an attempt to change the subject somewhat.

"Umm… I started just a little while after William passed away," she replied with an unwavering tone, not allowing her true feelings to betray her.

"Ahh… The not so accidental 'accident'," Sam surmised.

"Yeah… That was the first spirit that I vanquished," she commented as she held Sam's steely gaze. She severely disliked talking about her brother's death, so she immediately tried to divert attention away from her history and the focus of the conversation by asking, "What about you guys? How long have you been 'hunting'?"

"Our whole lives," Dean answered immediately.

Toni finally allowed her true feelings to show and stared at them in shocked silence. She tried to recover quickly, but her tone remained unsteady when she asked, "Did…? Did Jess know? Because you… you nev… never mentioned anything to me."

Sam shook his head sadly and before he could say anything else, Toni interjected, "So this werewolf that destroyed one of my favorite tops… Did I hear correctly that you know who it is?"

Dean couldn't have replied to her question if he tried because he was too stunned by Toni's quick change in focus, but Sam remained unfazed and answered, "Yeah, Dean figured that one out. She's a Delta Nu at the University named Valerie Stowe. We were going to head over that way again to check if she's made it back yet or not."

"Alright," Toni answered as she pulled another file folder towards her side of the table. "While you do that, I'll go over everything again. I'll try to see if there's any rhyme or reason for the 'who', 'what' and 'where's of the attacks."

When Toni's eyes remained focused on all of the paperwork as she picked up a pen to map out the locations of the incidences, Dean smiled more easily and tossed his empty bottle into the trash.

"Okay, I guess we'll leave you to that then," Dean answered as he nodded at Sam to follow him out.

Sam put on his tie as he got up and was about to speak, but Toni halted him by handing him a small white business card. "It has my cell number on it in case you need to get a hold of me for any reason."

Sam simply smiled then picked up his blazer and followed his brother out of the room. As he walked towards the Impala he made sure to input the details from the card into his phone's contact list.

As he started the car, Dean once again asked, "Dude! Seriously… Where did you find that girl?"

To answer his brother, Sam only rolled his eyes and shook his head.

While the Winchesters worked at locating their suspect, Toni meticulously marked the map of the city with a small "X" for every attack that had occurred over the last week, along with the date of the assault. She was in the midst of re-reading the police reports, yet again, when the phone sitting to her right started to vibrate.

"Hello?" She answered somewhat absentmindedly.

" _Why do you have my dad's cell phone?"_ The voice on the other side of the line snapped.

"I'm sorry… What did you say?"

" _Why do YOU have MY dad's cell phone?"_ The young boy repeated very sternly.

"I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken. Maybe you have…"

" _No I'm not!"_ He interrupted almost angrily. _"I've had his number on speed dial for over a year now, so what did you do to him!?"_

"Look kid…" Toni started to defend herself with her own tone of indignation, but she stopped suddenly when she heard a bit of a commotion on the other side of the conversation.

" _Who is this? And why do you have Dean's cell phone?"_ A woman's voice questioned with a growl.

 _Dean's cell?_ Toni held the phone out in front of her to inspect it. Despite it being the exact same make and model of her own, it was missing the tell-tale nick on the top left side that she had put in it when she dropped it during her last visit with her father.

"Shit… Look… I'm a friend of Sam's and Dean must have picked up my phone off the table by mistake before they left. I'm really sorry… Umm…"

" _Really? Well… We'll see about that!"_ The woman cut-in and then abruptly hung up.

_SHIT! Sam! Sam should have his phone!_

Toni immediately started to scroll through Dean's contact list to find Sam's number. As she did so, the phone started to vibrate once again. This time she made sure to check the call display. When she saw that the call was coming from the Sheriff's Office, she got her hopes up that it was Sam or Dean calling after they had realized that there had been a mix up.

"Hello? Uhh… Dean's cell phone," she answered somewhat sheepishly.

" _Oh… Hello… Clydie? Is that you chéri? We've been worried about you. Are you feeling better? Food poisoning can be so nasty."_

 _Food… Those guys!_ "Yes Sheriff, I'm feeling much better. Thank you."

" _That's good to hear. You're lucky that you have your Agents to help take care of you… Now, would you mind passing on a message to Agent Plante and Agent Page for me?"_

"Absolutely not Sheriff. Just give me a second to grab a piece of paper… Okay, go ahead."

" _Well after they left today, we got a bit of a break in the case; a new witness. One of the girls' boyfriends came forward to report that he had been with her the night of the incident…"_

After taking down the rest of the details, Toni promised to pass the information on to the two 'Agents'. Since this witness had been knocked unconscious during the werewolf's attack, Toni started wondering how many other boyfriends had suffered a similar fate and were now too embarrassed to come forward with what they knew. Or how many thought that they knew too little to be of any assistance.

Toni then went through the list of the victim's next of kin and called each one to inquire about boyfriends or other friends that may have been with the victims the night of their deaths. She was eternally grateful, to no entity in particular, that she already had a rapport with the people that she was calling because it meant that they would hand over that information with much less resistance. As she spoke with them, she felt herself tear up each time one of the fathers burst into tears when she informed them that her call did in fact mean that there had been a break in the case.

After her last call to the families was completed, she chuckled because that was most likely the first time she had been able to be honest when giving good new to the victim's families while working a case. But, Toni was never one to stray off topic for too long, so she quickly started calling the numbers that she had just obtained.

Toni was just finishing her fourth phone call with one of the victim's boyfriends when she heard the distinct rumble of the Impala's engine. Before she could place the noises of the engine shutting off and the bang of the motel room door being thrown open, she felt Dean's hand snatch his phone out of her hand while he slammed its twin onto the table.

She turned to chew Dean out, but he had already turned his back to her while saying, "Hey Lay… No… Look, I can explain…"

Dean then stepped into the bathroom and locked the door to continue his conversation in private. Sam sat across the table from Toni and handed her a new case file that they had retrieved from the Sheriff earlier in the day.

"So… Is your brother's wife pissed off because of me?" She asked very meekly.

"Nah. Once he explains everything about the werewolf attack, she'll be fine. Really, it's no big deal," he replied dismissively as he pulled her notepad towards himself. "Whoa! You've been busy."

"Yeah… Dean's son wasn't the only one who called his phone… The Sheriff had some interesting news that he asked me to pass onto you guys."

She was about to elaborate, but Dean clearing his throat from his spot beside her silenced her.

Then he quietly stated, "She'd like to talk to you for a minute."

Toni tentatively took the phone and nearly whispered, "Hello?"

" _Hi Toni… Umm… I'm Addy… I really wanted to apologize for being such a bitch to you earlier. Toby and I were just concerned about Dean… You know life of a hunter and all. But he explained everything and I just feel bloody awful about how rude we were to you. I hope you can forgive us."_

"Honestly it's not a problem. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same in your place. He's a very lucky man to have you two looking out for him."

" _Ace! Well I don't want to keep you from your work and delay you from killing that damned werewolf. Hopefully we can talk longer in the future."_

"Yeah… Okay, sounds good. Here, I'll uhh pass you back to Dean."

Dean reclaimed his phone and quietly ended his conversation saying, "Thank Toby again for emailing that stuff to us… Yeah… I'll call you later, okay? Yeah… Uh huh… I promise… Love you too."

He then stuffed his phone deep into his pocket and softly apologized, "Sorry 'bout that. I wanted to clear things up with her as soon as possible…"

"Yeah, no, I get that… Don't give it another thought," Toni cut in sympathetically with a half-smile.

"So… What interesting information did the Sheriff have for us?" Sam asked in an attempt to get them back on track with solving the case.

Toni's half-smile spread into a warm grin while she explained, "There was a new witness; the last victim's boyfriends… Well second to last. Turns out that she was probably killed before we were attacked, but her body was just found later. And after hearing that, I got to thinking… What if Valerie hasn't made it back to the Sorority House because she physically can't?"

"Huh… That's an interesting thought… You must have hit her with what? Two? Three silver bullets Dean?"

"At least," Dean answered with a slightly smug edge in his voice.

"Did you check for her in any of the hospitals?" Sam inquired with what could have been mistaken for hope in his tone.

"No, not yet… That was the next thing on my list. I was just getting to figuring out the 'why' when you guys got back. Turns out each of them were at a party the night they were attacked and they most likely left with a guy and were on their way for a little… 'amour', if you catch my drift."

"Okay…" The Winchesters replied in unison, neither sounded very convinced about her theory thus far.

"Well that led me to thinking…" Toni clarified as she retrieved a book from one of her bags. "Well there's one old, OLD belief that werewolves would go after you is you were cheating on your mate, or something like that." She passed them a book with a very worn cloth cover that had small Post-Its and other notes sticking out of it. "It's a book on Medieval French literature… Umm, I've found fairy tales can sometimes have useful-ish info… Anyway, my theory here is, uhh, well what if our little Loup-Garou is attacking these… I mean us women because she sees them…Us as competition for… Umm… A little 'amour'?"

"Like the couples' sexual energy is what attracted her to them?" Sam questioned in earnest as he flipped through the pages of the book.

"Yeah… Something like that," Toni replied sounding a little less confident.

Dean snorted through a laugh then commented, "Well for that to be true then that would mean that the two of you two would have been on your way for a little 'rendezvous' the other night."

Toni blushed from ear to ear and down to her chest and refused to meet his eyes by flipping through her new set of notes. Alternatively, Sam slammed Toni's book on the table top and glared at his brother and snapped, "Dean! Seriously?"

The color drained from Dean's face as he instantly regretted his insensitivity, but before he could offer any form of an apology, Toni interjected, "So that's what I've come up with so far… I was going to start on the hospital next."

Sam stood up from the table as he replied, "No that's okay Toni, there's only a couple in the city so I'll go and check them out." He turned his attention to his brother and thrust out his right hand and barked, "KEYS!"

Before Dean could produce the keys for the Impala, Toni jingled hers saying, "Why don't you take my truck? You know, just in case 'Agent Page' here has to go and do some follow up interviews. Sorry Dean, I don't know you well enough to trust you with my truck." She tried to finish with a light-hearted joke to ease some of the tension in the room.

Sam took them from her and grunted a 'Thank You' before quickly exiting the room.

Dean was just about to apologize when Toni asked, "So, did you guys bring back any food? I'm STAR-VING."

The smile on Toni's face was nothing but genuine which helped Dean to relax considerably.

"No, sorry we didn't… But the Sheriff's wife sent us home with enough Jambalaya to sink the Titanic… I could heat some up for you if you wanted," he counter-offered.

"Wow something resembling a homemade meal? Now I feel spoiled," she replied as Dean started to dish her a bowl. "So… Your wife and son… They know about your work?"

"My wife?" Dean queried before placing the food on the table. "Oh… Lay… No we're not married… But yeah they do. She actually grew up in the business, but she's taking a break from it right now."

"Huh… Must be nice not having to lie about it all of the time. When I first started, I tried talking to my dad about it, but it just made him too upset…" Toni trailed off not wanting to go into any further detail on the topic of her family.

Dean was observant enough to see her discomfort and jumped in. "It has its Pros and Cons… Toby… My son… Wants to start hunting already even though we've decided that research is intense enough for him… At least until he's eighteen," he explained with a proud smile on his face.

Toni let him revel in his pleasant thought while she savored every morsel in her bowl. She felt very confident that Sam was going to find their Loup-Garou admitted in one of the hospitals, so when she was finished she started packing her books away in her bag.

"Umm… I usually just leave the police files in my room when I'm done on a job… What do you and Sam usually do?" She asked while Dean started bundling up all of the research on the table together into piles.

"It all depends on how quickly we have to leave town," he answered without taking his attention his off his task.

Toni shared a laugh with him as she finished repacking her bags. While they both worked, a silence filled the room and it appeared to make Dean uneasy, while Toni remained indifferent. She had been on the road alone for so long that a quiet room felt normal.

"So… You and Sam…" He start to question, but stopped in order to pull his phone out of his pocket. "Hey Sammy, what's up?"

" _Get out of the room now! I think the Sheriff saw me."_

"Saw you…"

" _Let's just say that Valerie Stowe can't change into anything ever again."_

"Right… We're on our way."

Dean picked up his jacket and turned to speak to Toni, but she was already stepping out the door with all but one bag slung over her shoulder. He shook his head, laughing quietly to himself then picked up their last bag while quickly surveying the room to ensure that they had all of their belongings then followed Toni out the door.

"Alright… Let's get the hell out of here," Toni commented with a large grin on her face as Dean unlocked her door.


	5. With the Contents of Your Pretty Little Head

"Alright, let's get the hell out of here," Toni commented with a large grin on her face as Dean unlocked her door.

Dean's shoulders were still shaking when he eased his lithe frame behind the wheel, prompting Toni to ask, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing… Just… You're kind of… Different," he managed to reply with a calmer tone.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Toni replied suspiciously.

"And you should!" Dean agreed enthusiastically.

They then shared a laugh before falling silent. Toni took a deep breath and started watching the scenery pass during her rare opportunity to be a passenger in a vehicle.

After a short intermission Dean cautiously asked, "Now, I know that you and Sam went to Stanford together, but how did you two know each other? I mean, he never really talks much about school since he left, so… Uhh how'd you two meet?"

"Umm… We had a lot of classes together our Freshmen Year because we were both Pre-Law. One thing led to another and we became… Uhh… Friends," Toni awkwardly explained while idly scratching at her gauzed covered stitches.

"You became 'friends'? Because you don't seem to sound too sure about that," Dean questioned almost politely.

"Umm…" Toni started fidgeting in her seat and was completely at a loss for words. She never confided in strangers. Actually she very rarely talked about anything deeply personal with anybody because in her family, feelings were not discussed… Ever.

"Yeah we were friends… Uhh… Actually we were pretty… Umm… Close for a while," she explained somewhat evasively.

"Close? Wait! Are you trying to tell me that you and Sammy… You guys were 'friends with benefits'?" Dean questioned with just enough humor in his tone to keep him from sounding too crude and insensitive.

Toni let out a heartfelt laugh and had to wait a few moments before she had calmed herself down enough to reply, "Yeah that would probably be a good way to describe it."

"Wow…" Dean stole a glance at Toni and when he saw that she was glaring at him resentfully, he repentantly added, "Sorry, it's nothing against you… I just… Sam… He always seemed like 'Mr. Relationship' when we were younger."

"And 'friends' isn't a 'relationship'?" She countered sounding mildly offended while crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

"No… I mean… Yeah… But usually…" Dean fought with his brain to find the words to explain what he meant before he dug himself a hole too deep for him to get out of with ease.

Dean, of course, had nothing against the 'Love them and leave them' lifestyle because he had found it difficult tying himself to one person until very recently. He would never tell her, but even when he was younger, it had been nearly impossible for him to be a one woman man despite him knowing that Addy was at home being completely faithful to him. But everything that he had been through in the twelve years that he had been apart from Addy helped him to evolve into a man that willingly wanted to give his heart to only one person.

Toni was thoroughly enjoying how much this conversation was making Dean squirm because she had never been one to give into a gender stereotypes and loved how that made people uncomfortable. She had had two older brothers and all of her cousins were male, so she had been raised as 'One of the Boys' and had never encountered a double standard with her parents. If her brothers had been permitted to do something at a certain age, Toni had been permitted to do so as well. 'No you can't because you're a girl' was a phrase that no one had ever dared to try to use with her in order to prohibit her from doing anything when she was growing up, so she never used her gender as an excuse either.

This frame of mind inevitably made relationships for her very difficult because guys never seemed to know how to handle a girl that refused to talk about anything remotely 'touchy feely'. (The irony of guys complaining about how annoying it was that girls always wanted to talk about their feelings and then them not wanting to be in a relationship with her because she refused to do just that wasn't lost on Toni. However, she would never allow it to change who she was at her core.)

"Well, I'll give you that about Sam," Toni finally relented more pleasantly. "But yeah, we were pretty close friends our Freshmen Year… Can we just leave it at that? Especially since going into further detail seems to make you feel uncomfortable?"

Dean snorted through a laugh and said more seriously, "Sure, but you keep saying 'Freshmen Year'… Can I ask what happened?"

"It's not a 'what', but a 'who'… Jessica happened," Toni answered with a warm smile as she turned her attention away from the window on her right hand side to make eye contact with him.

They were stopped at a deserted intersection and Dean just stared at Toni silently. When she finally quirked an eyebrow as if to non-verbally ask 'What?' Dean managed to ask sounding somewhat mystified, "How can you say that with a smile on your face?"

Toni shook her head and serenely answered, "Because Jess could give him what he wanted when I couldn't. I told him that I wasn't looking for a husband, but that's what he wanted to be… When he found it, I was happy for him. He moved on, I moved on and all was right with the world."

The sound of a horn honking brought Dean out of his trance-like state and he finally eased the Impala through the intersection towards the pre-approved meeting point with Sam.

"Dean? Are you okay? Because I kinda like this whole being alive thing, so if I should be taking over the driving responsibilities, please let me know."

Dean once again found himself chuckling at one of Toni's tension easing jokes as he responded, "You think I'm going to trust you with my baby when you won't let me drive yours?"

"Touché," Toni jovially conceded.

They then continued the rest of their short journey in relative silence. Dean had actually courteously asked Toni if the music piping through the speakers was to her liking and had offered to find something else to listen to if it wasn't. Toni had no preference and was just happy that the music appeared to be enough background noise to appease Dean so that she didn't have to continue talking about any personal topics with the elder Winchester.

_**She had locked herself in her room to study for finals with her cell phone turned off so that she could pretend that the outside world never existed. Her roommate, Vanessa, had started spending the night (and most of her free time during the day) at her boyfriend's in order to avoid their tension filled dorm room. Vanessa was a drama major, so her finals consisted solely of a performance on the main stage for which she had already learned every line of dialogue. She understood why Toni was stressed out, so she was more than happy to leave in order to keep from being a distraction.** _

_**Toni normally didn't stress this much about school, but she had fallen behind a bit in the last little while because her mother had been granted leave and she couldn't pass up on the opportunity to spend some time at her family home with her. By taking off this week it meant that she not only had to get this week's work done, but she also had to finish that week's assignments as well. And if that wasn't enough work for her, she also had to start preparing for her finals as well. She always maintained good grades, but Toni felt like she should be going above and beyond since she was at school on a Scholarship and she wanted to prove that she not only deserved it, but that she had more than earned it as well.** _

" _ **Sooo doing nothing this summer… Sleep and nothing else," She grumbled as she closed her eyes and laid back on her bed.**_

_**She turned on her cell phone for a quick check of the time, but was instantly tempted to check the numerous text messages she had received over the past two days. Then her heart sank when she saw the two dozen missed calls with accompanying voice mails because she didn't have to look at her call display to know who they had all come from.** _

" _ **No… No… Can't," she told herself out loud as she set her alarm. "Just a fifteen minute break and then back to the books."**_

_**She was just starting to drift off to sleep for a short nap when she heard a knock at the door. She remained on her bed and curled into a tighter ball and tried to ignore the intrusion.** _

**Maybe they'll just go away and think that no one's here.**

" _ **Toni? Toni, please open up. Vanessa told me you were here," Sam called out softly.**_

_**Hearing the desperation in his voice, Toni relented and got up off the bed and stretched as she made her way to the door because she would feel even worse if she ignored Sam in person.** _

" _ **Toni… Hey, I've been trying to get a hold of you," Sam blurted as soon as the door opened.**_

_**She finished pulling the door open and with a soft smile nodded for him to enter the room.** _

" _ **Sorry about the mess. Why don't you cop a squat on Vanessa's bed while I clean up?" She offered.**_

_**As Toni started cleaning up her mass of textbooks and notes, she heard Sam clear his throat purposefully.** _

_**He sounded very uneasy as she started to say, "That's okay… Umm… I've been trying to call you… And uhh… Text you…"** _

" _ **Yeah sorry about that. I put myself on lockdown this weekend to catch up on all my class work after seeing mom last week," she explained with her back to him as she moved her pile of study materials onto the floor.**_

" _ **You're mom finally got leave to come home? That's awesome," he commented quietly.**_

" _ **Yeah it was a relief to see her in person. Sorry I've been such a shitty friend lately, but the trip home was totally last minute and things have been pretty crazy ever since," Toni apologized as she finally turned to look at him.**_

_**Sam had a soft scowl on his face, so Toni decided she should owed Sam a more 'heartfelt' apology. She took a step forward, held his face and kissed him softly. As she straddled his lap, she continued to kiss along his jaw line and made herself comfortable on his lap as she whispered between her kisses, "I'm sorry… I suck… I should have called you back before now… I promise I'll more than make it up to you… Forgive me?"** _

_**Sam wrapped his arms around her body and stood up as she tightened her hold of his waist with her legs and continued to kiss and nip at his face and neck. "Toni… Toni…"** _

_**He easily closed the distance between Vanessa's and Toni's beds and then gently sat Toni on her mattress. When she finally loosened her grip of his body, he eased himself out of her grasp and took a step back.** _

" _ **Toni," he repeated as he straightened up and turned away from her. "Toni… We need to talk."**_

_**She sat up more erect and pulled her legs up so that she was cross-legged. "Okay, well you've got my full and undivided attention."** _

_**Sam ran his right hand through his hair and started pacing in the small space in front of Toni. "So… It's been a while since we've been able to talk…"** _

" _ **I know and it's totally my fault," Toni interrupted sympathetically. "Did I mention that I've been an absolutely shitty friend?"**_

" _ **You did… And you're not. You've had a lot going on," Sam continued as he looked into her seductively pouting face. "But…" He had to look away before he lost his nerve. "Man… This is harder than I thought it was going to be… Uhh… Well last week I went to a party, you know sort of a Pre-Finals thing, with Brady and… Umm… Well I kind of met someone."**_

" _ **Really?" She questioned with an intrigued tone and a soft smile.**_

" _ **Yeah… And then after the party we went out on a couple of times and…" He trailed off while his scowl remained steadfast on his face as he maintained eye contact with her. He searched her face for any change in demeanor as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say next and the best way to put his feelings into words.**_

_**Her smile never faltered as she finished, "So you want to put an end to our little arrangement."** _

" _ **Umm… Yeah… Sorry," he answered while he searched her face for any signs of anger.**_

_**Sam looked like he was on the verge of tears, so Toni stood up on her bed so that she was taller than him. She pulled him close, pecked his lips and as she hug him tightly she replied, "Oh God Sam, don't apologize. I told you no strings and I meant it." She gently pushed out of the embrace to look him in the eyes. "She better treat you right or she'll have to answer to me because I always look out for my friends."** _

_**Sam stared at her completely dumbfounded for a moment. "So you're not… Not mad?"** _

_**She stepped down off her bed and picked up a notebook. "Sam, why would I be mad? I already told you that I'm not the marrying kind. I know you want that, so I sincerely hope that you find it with her. Now… I don't want to sound rude, but I have a lot of studying to do…"** _

" _ **Right… Sorry… I guess I'll just go then," he stumbled over each word awkwardly as he walked towards the door.**_

" _ **Hey Sam?" Toni called from her spot on her bed.**_

" _ **Yeah Toni?" Sam worriedly answered as he half turned towards her.**_

" _ **Maybe after finals are done and before I head home… Maybe we could grab a drink and you could tell me all about her," she offered with an encouraging grin.**_

_**He swallowed hard then hoarsely replied, "Yeah… Maybe." Then before he slipped out the door he whispered, "Goodbye Toni."** _

_**She continued to flip through her notebook and after an hour of not being able to concentrate, she picked up her phone and quickly scrolled through her contacts.** _

" **Hello?"**

" _ **Hey! Kory! It's Toni… How quickly can you get over here?"**_

" **I could probably get there in… About twenty minutes."**

_**She let out a frustrated moan and he could hear her undo the zipper of her jeans.** _

" **Umm… Make that ten."**

_**She sighed then laid on her back. "Okay… But anymore than ten minutes and I'm starting without you and then you'll just have to sit and watch while you wait for your turn."** _

_**Kory made it to her room within five minutes.** _

When Toni felt the car stop, she woke up from her reverie with a bit of a start. She quickly surveyed their surroundings and noted that they were in a vacant rest stop.

"Sam should be coming just around the bend any minute now. I was just about to call him to check how far out he is," Dean answered Toni's unasked question.

She chuckled softly then said, "Sorry about spacing out on you. I honestly can't remember the last time that I daydreamed like that."

"It's okay; I'm used to Sam ignoring me with his nose in a book." Dean smirked as he motioned to the right with his chin. Toni followed his gaze and smiled a bit brighter at seeing Sam extract himself from her pickup truck.

She got out of the Impala and while she was in the middle of stretching, Sam tossed her the keys to her truck. She just barely managed to catch them with her right hand before they collided with her upper arm.

"Glad to see you brought it back in one piece," she joked as she turned to join Dean at the trunk of his car to retrieve her baggage.

Sam reached around her to pick up the handles of her bag as he replied, "I handled a lot nicer than I expected it to."

"Well I keep it well tuned," she replied smugly as she gently reclaimed her bags to carry them to her truck. "So… Where are you guys headed from here?"

"I heard something about some ghouls in Southwestern Wisconsin," Dean commented as he leaned on the trunk. "And then I was thinking that we could take a little detour into Iowa…"

"Of course you did," Sam grumbled.

Toni looked between both of them after she finished placing her bags in a secure box in the bed of her truck. She was going to ask what was so interesting in Iowa, but decided against it because that would be verging on becoming personal. Instead they all just stood beside their vehicles staring at their feet awkwardly.

"What about you Toni?" Sam finally broke the silence, causing her to look up from her hands that were playing with her keys on the ring.

"Me? Oh… I was just going to head back into Mississippi to see if I can retrace the steps of the thing that led me here in the first place."

"Really?" The Winchesters asked in unison.

"Really… Once we got the truth about Valerie, I got to thinking that if they can change when the moon isn't full… Then maybe the trail I was following went cold because I was looking for the wrong patterns. I mean… What if something bit her and I followed her instead of it?"

Sam perked up a bit and stated, "That could be quite dangerous. Why don't we join you?"

Toni immediately noticed how Dean slumped over and looked like he was going to object, but he stopped himself before uttering a word. Toni felt for him because she could tell that whatever was in Iowa was important to Dean, so she dismissively replied, "But then again it could be nothing because the trail pretty much went ice cold before Valerie finally started up her antics here… It'll probably be nothing, so if you guys have a lead on some action in Wisconsin, I'd say you're better off to go there. This is most likely just a dead end."

The stance of each Winchester brother shifted quickly and when Toni noticed that Sam now looked like she had backhanded him, she added, "But thanks for the offer. If it looks like it might be something, I could always call you."

Sam nodded then took a step forward and passed her a folded piece of paper. Toni slowly took it out of his hand and let her hand linger as their fingers touched.

"I figured that you can't call me unless you have my number," he explained quietly as he focused on her hand touching his own.

Overwhelmed by her feeling of gratitude at having someone who was offering her any form of support during her crazy crusade, Toni pulled Sam into a tight hug. She didn't expect to ever use his number, but she still said a heartfelt 'Thank You' into his chest.

After a few moments she realized what she had done and she freed herself from his arms saying, "Thanks again. I promise, I'll call if… When I need backup."

Sam nodded then took a single step backwards. They stared into each other's eyes and then Toni turned away saying quickly, "Good luck in Wisconsin."

"Yeah… You too… In Mississippi."

After she reached the driver side door, she looked back at the Winchester brothers and called out, "It was nice to finally meet you Dean! Keep out of trouble you two!"

They both smirked then waved as they got into the Impala.

"'Keep out of trouble'?" She repeated to herself in a mocking tone. "Gah! How lame are you Toni?"

She waved one last time at the brother's then rested her head on the steering wheel.

 _No… No Toni… You don't… You DON'T, you know that! Now start the fucking truck and let's go. Straighten up, damn it!_ She instructed herself as she groaned with her forehead still resting on her hands that held the steering wheel in a death grip.

When she finally eased her truck into reverse, she had to slam on the brakes because her path was completely blocked and exclaimed, "What the…?"

Her passenger door opened and then she heard, "So turns out that the ghouls have been taken care of… Umm… How'd you like some help with your werewolf?"

Toni stared at Sam and asked through a rasped whisper, "What about Dean?"

Sam made himself comfortable in the passenger seat and answered, "Since Wisconsin turned out to be a bust, we thought that I could help you while he took some time off with Addy and Toby."

"In Iowa?" Sam nodded with a grin, so Toni smiled and said, "Alright then… Umm… All of my research is behind my seat…"

As Sam shifted to look at her notes, Toni turned to wave 'Goodbye' to Dean, but she was met only with the taillights of the Impala as he sped off.


	6. Gimme Somewhere Else to Go

After Toni reached the driver side door, she looked back at the Winchester brothers and called out, "It was nice to finally meet you Dean! Keep out of trouble!"

The brothers both smirked then waved as the got into the Impala.

While Dean started the car, he chuckled and repeated, "Keep out of trouble?"

Sam rolled his eyes then replied, "Just shut up Dean. I'm sure she was probably just nervous, so just leave it be… How long until we hit Wisconsin?"

"Touchy touchy… I think that we can make it there some time tonight, depending on how many pit stops we have to make," Dean responded while he eased the car out of their parking spot. Just then his phone started to ring. After checking the call display, he answered it, "Hey Bobby, how's it going? Uh huh… Yeah, he did... Really? You did? Oh okay… No that's fine… Yeah… No, thanks Bobby… Yeah, you too… Okay, yeah. Bye."

Dean stopped the Impala and turned to look at Sam as he asked, "What did Bobby have to say?"

"Well, he took a little detour on his way to a job in Indiana and he took care of that ghoul problem in Jamestown. Sooo…"

"So we don't have to go to Wisconsin and we can help Toni with her job in Mississippi," Sam commented with the slightest bit of excitement in his tone.

"Well yeah, that's one way to look at it… But I was thinking…" Dean started to say as he shifted the Impala into park and turned the engine off.

"Fine… Pop the trunk so I can get my bags," Sam interrupted, understanding perfectly what his brother's train of thought was without Dean having to say it out loud.

Dean had backed the Impala behind Toni's truck before he eagerly jumped out to open the trunk for Sam.

"Once I know more about what's happening in Mississippi, I'll call you and we can figure out a somewhere to meet," Sam explained as he hoisted his bags over his shoulder.

"Sounds good… And I'm sure that Toby's bound to have something on the werewolf for you, so I'll see what he's found out," Dean replied over his shoulder as he made a hasty retreat to the driver's side door. "Talk to you soon!"

Dean nearly shouted a warning once he got behind the steering wheel when he saw the reverse lights illuminate on Toni's pickup, but she thankfully stopped quickly enough that no harm came to his beloved Impala. The he held his breath as he watched Sam get into the passenger's seat, waiting to see if Toni would kick Sam out of her vehicle or not.

He gave it a full minute and when the passenger's door didn't reopen, he slipped the car into drive and started on his way towards the Interstate.

As Sam shifted to look at her notes, Toni turned to wave 'Goodbye' to Dean, but she was met only with the taillights of the Impala as he sped off. When she turned back to look at Sam, he looked absolutely cramped in his seat because he had his two bags covering his feet and part of his legs with the majority of Toni's research spilling over his lap.

"Oh geez Sam," Toni commented as she put the truck into 'Park'. Sam looked over at her with his brows furrowed contemplatively. "Why don't I toss your bags in the back with mine?"

Before he could answer, she slid out of her seat and ran around to his side. "It's no problem Toni," Sam replied after she opened his door. "Really it's not… Plus they're pretty heavy."

Toni shot him a steely glare as she lifted both bags with ease and placed them with her own in the secure container in the box of her truck. Once she was back behind the wheel and had the truck moving again, Sam reached out, squeezed her knee and said, "Sorry, I shouldn't have… I keep forgetting… Thank you, I'm much more comfortable now."

She felt her heart skip a beat when his palm connected with her denim clad flesh, but she wouldn't allow herself to show him the true impact his presence had on her. Instead she shrugged nonchalantly, started out of the parking lot and replied, "Well… I really don't want any jackwads to have any temptations to break into my truck when we stop for lunch."

Sam laughed softly and shook his head as he thumbed through one of her note books. As he read through the information, he was absentmindedly running his left hand up and down Toni's thigh.

"So you think the other one is actually a guy?" He asked as he looked up from the papers in his lap. He then noticed what his left hand was doing and quickly retracted it with a soft, almost inaudible "Sorry".

"Yeah, but I also thought that Valerie was a 'he' up until the moment that she decided to use me as a chew toy… So I guess you could probably take my conclusions with a grain of salt," Toni answered with an even tone.

Sam ignored her self-deprecating comment and continued to look over her notes then found a Missing Person file prompting him to question, "What's with the file on Jimmy Medina?"

Toni shrugged somewhat dismissively saying, "I was in talking with the local PD when his wife came into the office freaking out that he was missing. She was yelling about how he's never done this, they had to find him, blah blah blah. So I sat with her to calm her down because none of them seemed to be able to and I got her to check the local hospitals and when they were all clear and she had the file started, I took her home. The attacks in town had started the night that he disappeared, so he seemed like the most likely suspect."

"That sounds about right to me," Sam asserted encouragingly. "Now the victims… They were all women, right?"

"Yep… Women of all shapes, sizes and ages. Stupid me, I should have known that the thing in Louisiana wasn't the same as whatever's in Mississippi… Mississippi werewolf doesn't have a type other than they are all female."

"You've definitely got a good start… Now you said that the trail went ice cold, so you decided to move onto Louisiana, right?" Sam inquired as he pulled out his cell phone and started to scroll through his contacts while he waited for her reply.

"Yeah… And Roseland didn't seem like it was too far from the Mississippi border for him to have move onto there," Toni reasoned.

Sam nodded then put his phone to his ear. "Hey, can you do me a favor? Great! Osyka, Mississippi… Can you dig up whatever you can on any suspicious deaths or animal attacks? Anything, you know, strange… Yeah… Okay…. Thanks Buddy!"

Sam tucked his phone into his pocket then said, "Okay, so by the time that we get checked into our rooms, we should have a few more solid leads."

"Oh yeah? And how are we magically going to get that information?" Toni questioned while sounding thoroughly amused.

As he finished bundling up all of Toni's research, Sam answered, "Toby's a wiz at research, so if there is something out there to be found, he'll find it for us, email it to me and then we can go over it all after we've settled into a place."

"Really? Wow… Okay… Well on that note, I'm starving, how 'bout lunch?"

In the diner, they continued their conversation about their different theories about this latest target in comparison to the last one they took out. Once their discussion started to loop and repeat itself, they slowly moved onto the topic of their various experiences during their time apart. Now that they knew the truth about each other's knowledge of the supernatural, Sam was able to go into more detail about his father's death, as did Toni about her brother's passing.

As they walked back to Toni's truck, Sam finally mustered the nerve to ask her the one question that had been bugging him since the night of her attack, "So… Your tattoo? How did you learn about that?"

Toni groaned audibly as she crawled in behind the wheel and Sam offered, "Or… Umm you don't have to tell me… Really it's no big deal."

"Man… It's not that Sam… Just… Don't make fun of me okay?" Sam's expression didn't change as Toni looked over at him. "Sam, I'm serious. If you make fun of me in any way, shape or form then you can just walk back to Iowa to meet your brother for all I care, got it?"

"Sure… Yeah, okay. I won't make fun of you, no matter what you say," Sam replied, crossing his heart and holding his right hand up as if he was taking an oath of truthfulness on the witness stand in court.

Once she was satisfied that he was going to keep a level head, Toni explained, "Well, when I took care of the thing that killed William, I started reading everything I could about this stuff. You know anything about ghosts, demons and whatever else I could get my hands on… I even delved into the fluffy stuff just for fun. Then I found this series of novels and in one volume it mentioned the anti-possession tattoo. I had read some stuff about how nasty demon possession is and since the novel's rendition matched some stuff I found later, I figured, what's the harm, right?"

During her explanation, Toni kept her eyes fixed on the asphalt of the road for fear that she would lose her nerve if she stole a glance at her travel companion. When she was finished and she finally did sneak a peek at him, Sam was biting down hard on his bottom lip and looked like he was trying to stifle some laughter.

"Sam!" Toni scolded while sounding more hurt than angry.

"No! Sorry, I'm not making fun of you… It's just that… I forgot that Chuck did write in a few good tips that beginners could use," Sam clarified with his hands held up defensively.

"Chuck? No the author's name…" Toni answered completely confused.

"Right… I meant 'Carver Edlund'… By the way, that's just a pen name. Basically the long and short, Dean and I know Chuck… Uhh Carver pretty well. You do realize that his series is based on two brothers named 'Sam' and 'Dean'…" Sam trailed off in an attempt to allow Toni to connect the dots for herself.

"HOLY SHIT! No way!" She stopped herself from saying anything more by throwing her hand over her mouth. She immediately felt her cheeks burn hot with embarrassment, but quickly tried to deflect their attention away from her by saying, "So… What you're telling me is that if I actually read the whole series and not just the one or two books that I did… Then I'd be completely caught up on everything that you've been doing since you left Stanford?"

"More or less, yeah… Up until they stopped publishing at least," Sam answered nonchalantly.

Suddenly Toni's right had shot out as she back handed Sam on the upper left arm.

"Hey! What was that for?" He questioned with the slightest hint of amusement in his voice.

"I can't believe that you're 'Sam'… 'THE SAM'!" She exclaimed with a chuckle as she pulled to a stop in a parking lot.

"Whoa! Hey, I didn't poke fun at you, I totally told…" Sam started to protest.

Toni laughed and pointed to the building to his right. "And I thank you for that, but this is the first place that I've seen since hitting town that I've seen with their 'Vacancy' sign still lit… Unless you'd prefer sleeping in the truck."

Sam shook his head as he watched Toni pull out her cell phone with a confused look on her face. "No, this place should be good enough. What's wrong?"

"The Colonel's calling… Dad never calls…" She replied staring at the screen.

Sam reached out and touched her arm saying, "Well then you take care of that while I go and get us checked in, okay?"

She nodded without hearing him and answered, "Hello? Yes sir… Yes sir… Of course… Sir…"

Toni had completed her brief conversation by the time that Sam returned to the truck, motel room key and local paper in hand.

"So… There's a football tournament in town… I was able to get us the last available room that they had… Possibly the last one in town according to the guy at the desk. I hope you don't mind sharing."

"No, that's no problem," she answered sounding very distant. He pointed towards the part of the motel parking lot where the map indicated their room was and he immediately noticed that her hands were shaking as she steered towards their destination.

"Toni? Is everything alright with your dad?"

She pulled into one of the few available spots by their section of the complex, but before motioning to get out she stared out the windshield and stated, "My dad wants to see me for my birthday. The Colonel actually called asking to see me."

"But… That's a good thing, right?"

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and smiled saying, "Yeah, of course it is… I guess… Sorry, I was just a little surprised that he did. So… Football tournament, huh? I thought football was only a big deal in Texas."

Sam snickered softly and followed her lead out of the truck to the box in order to retrieve their bags. Since Sam was still carrying pretty much all of her research, Toni took one of his bags in hand as well as the room key because it seemed like it would be easier for her to unlock the door.

After a small fight with the aged lock on the door, Toni swung it open and quickly found the light switch beside the door frame. The room was a lot nicer than Toni had anticipated, but after she completed giving the suite her full once over, she stood completely frozen in her place.

Sam had to gingerly push her out of his way in order to get by which prompted him to ask, "What's wrong? Is the room not to the lady's liking?"

She jutted her chin slightly to the left then hesitantly replied, "Umm… Sam… There's only… Uhh… There's only one bed."

"Yeah… Last room in town… Remember?" Sam retorted sounding somewhat annoyed that he had to repeat such a simple explanation again. Then he looked down and saw how pale Toni looks, so he added more pleasantly, "I can sleep on the floor if you want."

She turned her gaze towards Sam as a mischievous grin spread across her previously chagrin face. "No, it's totally fine. I just hope that you've gotten over your blanket hogging phase, is all."

She placed his bag that she had carried in on the left side of the bed before placing her own on the right side.

"Ha! Well I'm just hoping that you still don't kick box in your sleep," Sam retorted jovially while pulling his laptop out and taking a seat at the kitchenette table.

Before making herself comfortable, Toni picked up a pillow and threw it at the back of Sam's head. Once she had his attention and he half turned to look at her, she added, "And you, my friend, are the only guy who has ever complained about that… So I'm guessing it must have just been my way of trying to steal back some covers from you."

"Sure… Sure, whatever you have to tell yourself," he joked with a wave of his hand, turning his attention back to the laptop.

Toni smiled to herself then continued more earnestly called over her shoulder as she slipped her shirt off, "Okay… Well, while you look into whatever Toby sent you, I'm going to quickly check on my stitches and see how much damage Valerie did."

Toni carefully lifted the tape with the gauze from her wound in the hopes that she could reuse it after her inspection. She had endured a number of different types of injuries, both before and after becoming a 'hunter', but this was the first time that she had been stitched up with dental floss, so she stare at them with amused fascination for some time. She was fairly confident that they were still clean, but the dried blood that was crusted around them had impeded her range of motion during the entire drive from Louisiana. She then wet a face cloth and quickly washed the wound before retrieving her bottle of Vitamin E oil in the hopes that it would help to keep it from scarring too badly.

As she rubbed in the last of the clear liquid into her back, she walked back to where Sam was and asked, "So? Did he send you anything interesting?"

Sam's eyes remained fixated on the screen of his computer while replying, "Yeah… Turns out there were a couple of other women killed since you left and they were found just on the outskirts of town. One was a Grad student that was doing research here and the other was a teacher from the high school."

Sam looked up just as Toni was redressing her stitches and she caught his eye while he lifted an interested brow. Toni shot him a look of indignation and swiftly put on her shirt back on then said, "Grow up Sam; you've seen me in much less."

Sam just smirked then continued looking through the pages that Toby had sent him. "Huh… Looks like as of two nights ago Jimmy still hadn't made it home… At least according to the last Follow-Up on the police report he hasn't."

Toni looked up from reading through the local paper to ask, "And how on God's green Earth would you know what the police file says?"

"Umm… None of us have the guts to ask Toby how he does it, but he can get us pretty much any piece of information we need," Sam replied with a chuckle.

"Oh… Plausible deniability, huh? Man… Where can I get me a 'Toby'?" Toni teased as she turned her attention back to the newspaper.

"So, I'm thinking… We probably won't get very far tonight with the case beyond some possible recon, but then we can pick up with the local PD tomorrow," Sam proclaimed as he shut his laptop closed on the table top.

"Yeah… Uh huh… Okay," Toni answered without hiding that she was still engrossed in the words she was reading on the newsprint.

"Unless you happen to have a better idea."

"Personally, I hate wearing suits and high heels… They hurt like a bitch…"

"Okay…"

She folded the paper so that the article she had been reading was visible. "When you guys read the local papers on a job, you don't usually venture past the Obituaries, do you? I myself have found that people seem to really hate talking with the authorities any more than they absolutely have to," she explained as she pushed the paper towards Sam. Then she continued, "There's a couple of houses for sale in the Medina's neighborhood and they're having a block party this weekend… I bet top dollar that his wife would be pretty chatty once you get a couple of drinks into her."

Sam read over the article then looked up at her and asked with slight concern, "Okay, but what would our cover be for this job?"

Toni walked over to her bag as Sam watched her intently as she pulled a small box out of her bag. Before looking back at him, she slipped something onto her left hand then as she stood beside Sam she asked with a slightly humorous tone, "Umm… Will you marry me?"

Sam took the box and removed the gold band that match the set that Toni was now wearing on her left ring finger. He started to ease it onto his finger, just to see if it would fit and remained mute with a questioning look on his face.

"I also saw that there are a couple of postings for teachers in this school district. So, I was thinking… And stop me if this makes you at all uncomfortable… But, what if instead of posing as Feds or Police, we go in as newly-weds that are looking for a place to settle down and start our lives? I didn't spend all that long with Mrs. Medina, so I could just bluff my way through it and say that I was at the Police Station for my background check… You know as part of my application process… I promise… I'd let you drive the truck."

Toni could feel herself shrinking deeper into her chair the longer that Sam stayed silent.

He was twisting the band around his finger as he asked, "So, if you're a school teacher, what would my cover be? Other than your husband?"

Toni let out an audible sigh of relief, pulled the newspaper back towards herself and said, "Oh I don't know… Umm… How much do you know about football? Because they're also looking for a PE teacher slash coach here too."

Sam watched Toni for a bit as she nervously fidgeted with the rings she had just placed on her finger before he reached out and stilled her hands saying, "That sounds like a really good plan… So… For us to do this right, how'd we meet? And where did we get married?"

She looked up and gave him a relieved grin. "Well… We could always stick with the whole us meeting at school… The rest… Umm to be honest I hadn't really planned that out at all… I didn't think I'd ever have to use this with someone else… Umm… How 'bout a small wedding in Vegas since we're both… Uhh orphans?"

"That works perfectly for me… Now… Would it be out of line for a newly married couple to hit the local bar for the night?"

Toni shrugged and replied, "Either way, I know which one the Medinas visit practically every Friday."


	7. Give Me One Thing

"Hey Sam? Can you do me a favor?" Toni called through the tiniest crack she had opened from behind the bathroom door.

Sam turned his eyes away from the TV to look towards the bathroom as he answered, "That all depends… Will it help us to get out of here faster?"

"Actually, yes, yes it most likely will… Now… Can you be a big boy and not get a freaked out about seeing me in my bra again?" She further inquired while still hiding behind the door.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that as your 'husband', I'm entitled to see you in a heck of a lot less," Sam teased as he turned the TV off. "I promise, I won't freak out. What do you need Toni?"

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Toni looked ready to head out for a night on the town: She had straightened her hair, applied a light layer of make-up and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans. The only glaring omission was her lack of a top covering her still bloody bra. In one hand she had tape and a fresh pad of gauze while she rubbed in some oil into her ever healing wounds with the other.

She stepped in front of Sam and turned her back to him saying, "Be a dear and help me by covering up my stitches?"

He chuckled then took the tape and gauze from her. After she was seated, he took the opportunity to take a closer look at the damage.

"They seem to be healing quite well," he commented as he gently measured out the gauze over the crude stitches. "What have you been rubbing on it?"

"Just Vitamin E oil… Chicks may dig scars, but they seem to scare the hell out of guys when they see them."

Sam finished applying the tape to the new protective barrier for Toni's cuts then tapped her right shoulder softly. Toni then reached over and picked up her short sleeve blouse and slipped it on. Once she was fully clothed, she turned back to look at Sam and flashed him her most bewitching smile.

"Sorry I took so long, but my hair and make-up were a lot harder to complete with the stitches."

Sam's face softened considerably before he helped her into her jacket. "So… Is the bar very far from here?"

"Nope, not too far," she replied as she checked her reflection yet again in the mirror.

Sam reached around Toni to pick up her keys off the vanity. While he had her somewhat pinned between his body and the dresser, he whispered into her ear, "You look gorgeous, so stop worrying about that."

Toni's breath hitched for just a second before she could reply, "Thanks Sam. Are we ready to go then?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Sam commented with a sigh as he held open the door to the room for her to exit through.

They walked somewhat uncomfortably towards Toni's pickup and when their hands touched as they both reached for the driver's side door handle, Toni chuckled uneasily.

"Sorry… I'm so not used to having a partner," she explained before making a hasty retreat to the passenger side.

As he put on his seat belt, Sam smiled and said, "Well, I'm still getting used to having a partner that trusts me to drive on a regular basis."

Just as Toni had promised, their destination was easily found and it didn't take them very long at all to get there. The parking lot was littered with older model domestic trucks with a sprinkling of slightly rusty, well used four door imported cars. Toni smiled because this was probably the first time that her truck would actually help them to blend in with their surroundings instead of causing people to ask more questions for her to verify her identity. Her smile soon faded when she realized that during all of the research she had done, Toni had never once thought to look into what type of vehicle the Medinas drove.

 _Here's hoping Mrs. Medina hasn't strayed too far from their regular routine,_ Toni thought to herself before she met Sam at the hood of the truck.

As they walked towards the door, Toni's left hand instinctively nestled itself into Sam's right paw with ease. At the door, Sam hesitated for a moment to ask, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Toni took in a deep breath and nodded. Once they were inside, they each did a quick sweep of the bar, taking in the layout of the place (noting the exits in the back of their minds), as well as the faces that they could make out through the haze of smoke.

There was no shortage of free tables and booths, so Toni squeezed Sam's hand then said, "Why don't you grab us a table and I go get us a couple of beers."

Sam retained a hold of her hand and gave her a look of uncertainty so she added, "Male bartender… I'm hoping to score some information along with the beer."

He smiled and nodded then they parted ways. At the bar Toni quickly ordered their drinks, but decided to wait until the bartender brought the bottled beer back before she started interrogating him. As he handed her the chilled bottles, Toni had already started her with her non-verbal flirting. She started with a slight flip of the hair and then she shifted her stance just so, which gave the bartender a perfect view of her ample cleavage.

When he unconsciously licked his lips, Toni knew that it was the perfect time to move in for the kill. However, before she could start, she was interrupted by a woman calling her name.

"Toni? Is that really you?"

Her whole body tensed up when she thought that the voice could belong to someone from her previous life. But after she was greeted with the face that came with the voice, she smiled and relaxed completely.

"Mrs. Medina…"

"Toni, please, call me Michelle."

"Alright Michelle… You're looking…" Toni stopped while she tried to find a polite way of saying 'You don't look as shitty as the last time I saw you'.

"Better? Healthier? More well-rested?" Michelle Medina finished for her. "Well Jimmy's home so I've been able to relax quite a bit since the last time you saw me. I really wanted to thank you again for being so nice to me that day at the Police Station. I would have never thought of calling the hospitals and that really helped to ease my mind until he returned."

Toni offered her a friendly smile and replied, "It was absolutely my pleasure. So… If you don't mind me asking…"

"Woman! Where's my beer?" An unknown male's voice called out just before two arms encircled Michelle's waist.

Michelle laughed playfully and hugged his arms. "Jimmy, I was just going to order them when I ran into Toni. She's the woman I told you about that kept me from completely falling to pieces while you were hiding away."

Jimmy then stepped around his wife and offered Toni his hand. "Thank you so much for helping Michelle with that." He leaned in so closely that Toni could smell the beer on his breath as he added, "You'll have to let me show you my gratitude sometime."

Toni groaned inwardly, feeling like she needed to step into a steaming hot shower. Then Jimmy leaned back and let his gaze linger on her semi-exposed chest, which made Toni wish that she could peel off a layer of her skin. But once Michelle came back into Toni's eye-line, she completely forgot about her personal feelings of unease and remembered that she had a job to do.

"I was more than happy to help. So… If you don't mind me asking…" she tried once again until she felt two strong hands grip her shoulders.

Almost immediately after she felt the hands take a hold of her, she heard a soft voice in her ear question, "What's taking so long?"

She half turned to kiss the latest intruder on the cheek then explained, "Sorry for the delay Sweetie, but I ran into Michelle and Jimmy Medina. Michelle is the lady that I was telling you about from…"

"The Police Station. Right… Well it looks like your missing person has been found," Sam interjected as he shook each of the Medina's hands.

"He most certainly has been," Michelle beamed as she wrapped an arm around her husband's waist and pat his stomach lovingly with the other.

Toni was still fairly confident that she would still be able to get a few juicy tidbits that she needed out of Michelle, but that prospect of getting anything out of her didn't seem too promising with the two men in the way. Toni then passed Sam one of the beer bottles and nodded towards one of the pool tables. Sam thankfully took the hint and offered Jimmy the other bottle.

"How 'bout we let the women folk catch up?"

Jimmy nodded, took the bottle and as they walk towards the table, Toni laughed to herself when she overheard Jimmy ask, "So Sam… Are you any good?"

When she turned her attention back to Michelle, she was met with a smiling face that was presenting her with a fresh bottle of beer. "Since my husband seems to have been offered yours and all."

Toni smiled and said 'Thank you'. As she took a drink, she mentally prepared yet another attempt to ask the one question she hadn't managed to make it all the way through, twice now.

"I'm guessing that you're wondering what happened with my Jimmy," Michelle commented before Toni was done swallowing the beer in her mouth as they walked towards a booth close to the spot where the men were now engaged in a friendly game.

Toni didn't want to scare Michelle off by seeming too eager, so she answered her as neutrally as possible, "Well… Only if you feel comfortable talking about it."

"Oh, it's so silly and stupid," Michelle started with a soft laugh. "I feel kind of ridiculous for overreacting because I hadn't even considered how the animal attacks that we had here would have affected Jimmy."

Toni nodded sympathetically and added, "I remembering hearing something about them when I first got into town. Did you… did you two know the victims?"

"Yeah… Well Jimmy knew them better than I did. The first one was his secretary and the second one was his business partner's daughter."

"Oh my goodness, that's terrible," Toni offered with as much sincerity that she could without sounding forced.

"Yeah, it really was. He found it difficult to deal with at first so he took some time to himself out at our lake house until he felt strong enough to talk about it all with me. I of course thought the worst and envisioned him dead in a ditch… You know, as a victim of whatever had killed the girls."

Toni chuckled and finished her beer then said, "Well, he's safe now and hopefully he's learned his lesson and will call you when before he decides to hide away from the world for a bit."

Michelle grinned brightly, leaned in and then replied, "I've told him that if he doesn't, I'll put a Lo-Jack on his ass and hunt him down myself."

As they shared a laugh, the men returned with a fresh round of drinks. Jimmy nearly knelt down and placed a few kisses on his wife's cheek and neck while Toni and Sam watched slightly stunned. If this was the man that really was stalking women in this town, then were they looking at the werewolf's next victim?

Sam recovered first and wanted to make their charade appear legit, so he tilted Toni's chin upwards and caught her lips in a tender kiss. "So, did you find out anything interesting?" He questioned softly into her ear so that their new friends would overhear him.

Every inch of Toni's body was tingling with excitement and she was hesitant about reopening her eyes because she didn't want this feeling to turn out to be a dream. As she reluctantly let her eyes flutter open, she nodded softly. Sam pecked her lips again then turned back towards the Medinas and announced, "Well Jimmy, she's agreed to save the family name in a best of three at the pool table."

Toni stared at Sam until he winked and she finally realized that he must have some sort of plan. She smirked then switched places with Sam. After downing half of the new beer that he had brought her, she playfully teased, "Not a problem. I would be more than happy to show you two how this game is actually played."

She then met Jimmy beside the table and picked up her cue saying, "I'll even be generous enough to let you break first."

Jimmy leaned into her, a little too closely for Toni's liking, to retrieve the chalk to prepare his cue. It took everything that Toni had inside her to resist the urge to strike him with the wooden stick she had in her hand when she felt him sniff her hair. She really wanted to but she didn't want to blow their cover just yet. The corners of Sam's mouth tugged into a small grin as he watched the two of them at the pool table. So far, everything was falling into place exactly how he had hoped it would.

As they played, Toni held nothing back. She wasn't the most skilled player on the planet, but she had hung out at the bars on the various bases her parents had been transferred to and at every one there was always more than one eager GI that wanted to be her personal tutor, so she had picked up a few tricks. Luckily for her, Sam and Michelle had ordered a few more rounds for all of them and the alcohol seemed to impair Jimmy's hand/eye coordination so much so that Toni was starting to look more like a pool shark than the newbie she truly was.

Toni was in the midst of lining up her final shot to take the second game in a row when she felt a sweaty palm connect with her hip. Jimmy pressed his chest to her back and quietly slurred into her ear, "You forgot to call your shot beautiful."

She stood up straight and stepped away from him so that she could steal a glance at their table. Michelle and Sam were deep in their conversation and seemed to be completely oblivious to what was happening between their spouses.

"Corner pocket," she answered after taking a calming breath. Before Jimmy could come close to her again, Toni quickly took her shot and sunk the Eight Ball in the pocket that she had predicted. "And that's game," Toni announced triumphantly as she exchanged the pool cue for her beer bottle and down its contents in one long gulp.

She could feel Jimmy still eyes her up and down hungrily, so she decided that she had to do something, no matter how unorthodox, to get herself out of this situation… And fast. After she placed her now empty bottle onto the wooden edge of the pool table, she took a long step forward. Then she allowed herself to stumble towards the table until she fell onto Sam's lap.

Feeling her flop across his legs surprised Sam, but Michelle took it all in stride. "Looks like someone has enjoyed herself tonight."

"Yeah," Sam agreed hesitantly. "Are you doing okay?" He asked her with concern overtaking his tone.

Toni lifted her left hand and pet his face adoringly. "I'm doing just fine Baby… How 'bout you? Ooh! Maybe we should order another round."

Sam lowered her hand then helped her to her feet saying to the other two, "I think it might be best if the two of us called it a night."

Toni offered him an exaggerated pout and batted her eyes pleadingly, but Sam just ignored it while turning her around and helping her into her jacket. Before Sam was done fastening Toni's jacket (because she faked that she couldn't get her hands to coordinate the closing the zipper) Michelle jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around Toni's waist.

"So we'll see you tomorrow then?" Michelle asked as she released Toni from her grasp.

As she swayed in her spot, Toni looked between Sam and Michelle with genuine confusion clouding her face. Michelle caught onto Toni's misunderstanding first and added, "Sorry… Sam and I were talking about the Block Party we're having tomorrow and he mentioned that you two might be interested in one of the houses on the market. I think you'll love the neighborhood."

At this explanation, Toni smiled then nodded saying something resembling, "Yeah, can't wait." When she tried to take a step forward to give Michelle a hug after her slurred reply of the affirmative, she faltered and would have fallen face first into the other woman if Sam hadn't caught her by her jacket.

"Oh-Kay," Sam proclaimed slowly. "I think I need to get somebody home so that she can rest up for tomorrow."

Toni offered no protests as Michelle laughed softly and took a glass of water from Jimmy. Then he and Michelle returned to the booth then Sam lead a staggering Toni to the door.

"Seriously Toni… Are you doing alright? Did…? Did he slip something into your drink?" Sam asked in a hushed, somewhat worried tone.

Once they were just a few feet away from her truck, Toni checked that they were alone and that no one was watching them and then she stood up completely erect. She then gently shrugged Sam's helpful hands off her shoulders and continued to the passenger's door with a few short, quick, confident strides and then waited for Sam to catch up.

"I'm doing just fine Sam," Toni replied with a chuckle. "Seriously, I'm absolutely fine. I just wanted to keep up the 'helpless waif' persona you apparently seemed to like so much back there."

Sam opened her door and helped her into her seat, shaking his head the entire time.

Once he was behind the wheel, Toni crossed her arms and added, "Well was I wrong? Because it seemed to me like you were more than willing to hand me over to him on a silver platter."

Sam tried his best not to laugh because he could tell that she was genuinely upset, but he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Umm… Sorry if you felt like that, but I was testing a theory."

"Oh my God… Great, so when I was feeling like a piece of meat all night, you really were using me as bait," Toni pointed out with a grumble.

"That's a pretty blunt way to put it, but yeah. I heard Michelle telling you about how Jimmy knew a couple of the victims pretty well…"

"So you came up with a theory about why he changes," Toni interrupted more civilly. "Since Valerie changed because she was feeding off other people's sexual energy, then maybe…"

"Jimmy's changing because of his own raging libido," Sam concluded as he parked the truck by their room.

He started to get out, but ceased all motion when he noticed that Toni hadn't attempted to move a muscle.

"Honestly, I'm sorry Toni. I wasn't trying to exploit you at all," Sam offered, trying to sound apologetic so that she would continue to help him.

Toni turned to look at him with mischief in her eyes. "Hey, I've already been up close and personal with the business end of a werewolf's claws, so there's no way in hell I'm getting out first. Fuck, you better show me that you've got some silver bullets in that gun of yours or I might not get out at all."

Sam laughed a little too loudly, popped the clip out of his pistol to show Toni the prerequisite silver bullets and reassured her he was a good shot. When her demeanor finally softened, he got out, opened her door and escorted her (safely) to their room.


	8. Tell Me Something I Don't Really Need To Know

**Could you be a teenage idol? Could you be a movie star? When I turn on my TV will you smile and wave at me…**

Toni's hand snaked out from under the blankets so that she could find her phone to turn off her alarm. Without any hesitation, she flipped the comforter off her head and sat up to stretch. She winced slightly at the pinching sensation that pulling her arms to and fro elicited from her stitched wounds. But all of that was forgotten when she heard a soft rumble of laughter coming for the right side of the room.

Before she opened her eyes, Toni good-naturedly retorted, "Do you have a problem with someone wanting to wake up on the right side of the bed to a catchy pop song?"

Just as Sam opened his mouth to reply, Toni opened her eyes and shot him a warning glare. Sam stopped then seemed to mentally retract whatever he was going to say and asked, "Have you ever watched 'The Big Bang Theory'? It's hilarious… I just downloaded a few episodes… You know if you wanted to watch them too."

Toni was now up and out of bed continuing her morning stretching routine and offered a head shake with a sarcastic "Uh huh" as a reply. Then she grabbed a few things out of her bags and went into the bathroom without any further commentary.

When she re-emerged in the room, Sam was still at his spot at the table reading, or rather 'watching', something on his laptop. Toni then continued to prepare for her day much in the same way that she always had while traveling alone. She had a routine that she had perfected in college that she continued to follow after starting her new vocation because she found that it helped her to retain some level of sanity so that she could stomach this job.

After she tied the laces on her running shoes, she stood and pulled her hair into a tight ponytail. She couldn't resist stretching a few more times and the sound of her shoulder popping loudly caused Sam to shift his attention away from the laptop towards her.

"So you still go for your morning runs?" Sam asked not sounding overly surprised.

As she strapped on her iPod, Toni nodded replying, "Yeah. Unless I've had a good cardio workout on the job… Although even then I usually just put if off for an hour or two."

"You can't get the Colonel out of your head, huh?" He inquired with a playful smile.

At the door she smiled and shook her head. Then she scrolled through her playlists, but stopped herself just before she exited the room. "Umm… I'll be back in about an hour?" She proposed somewhat hesitantly.

Sam didn't offer any protests so Toni hit the pavement before he could change his mind. When she returned to the room, Sam looked like he had showered, but he was once again stationed in front of his laptop. Toni was still on a bit of a high from her run, but the thoughtful scowl on Sam's face silenced her from extending any cheerful greetings towards him.

She carefully closed the door, attempting to make as little noise as possible then she moved as silently as she could towards her bags, not wanting to disturb Sam at all. When he cleared his throat somewhat dramatically, Toni jumped then froze in her place.

"I was thinking we should grab breakfast before heading over to the Gateway Estates, since we'll probably be spending the majority of the day there and all," Sam commented in a flat, even tone.

Toni had retrieved her change of clothes, so she turned and nodded saying, "Sure, that sounds good. I won't be too long."

"Take your time," Sam called over his shoulder as he got up and started to exit the room, dialing someone's number on his phone.

True to her word, Toni was able to dress and prepare for the day much more quickly today than she had the night before. Today her stitches didn't seem to hinder her movements as much and she hoped that that meant that they were healing without any complications or perhaps she was just getting used to them and was ignoring the discomfort they were causing. She threw her workout clothes into a laundry bag, making a mental note that once Jimmy was taken care of that laundry was going to be her new top priority. After a quick look around the room Toni noticed that Sam still hadn't returned, so she quickly grabbed her jacket and keys worried that she had actually taken longer than she thought and Sam was upset. Once outside Toni bee-lined a route towards her truck and felt a flood of relief when she saw Sam meandering towards the truck while tucking his phone in his pocket.

"So no attacks last night that anyone knows of," Sam informed her as they both fastened their seat belts.

"Okay… So is that a good thing?" Toni questioned, genuinely unsure if she should feel relieved or frustrated at the lack of action.

"For your sake, I'm going with good thing because that means you didn't get mauled," Sam answered with a humorous tone.

Toni slapped his arm with the back of her left hand, completely forgetting about the sizeable rock now on her finger. When Sam winced, she abandoned her witty retort and instead rubbed the spot softly while apologizing, "Oh gosh Sam I'm so sorry… Umm you don't bruise easily do you?"

Sam shook his head, smiling. "Let's hope I don't or everyone will know that my wife beats me."

When they were finished eating breakfast, Toni slipped into the Ladies' Room in order to reapply her make-up and ensure that she not only looked the part of a newlywed, but was also mentally prepared for it as well. She had used the ring set before to pretend that she was married because (for some reason) people seemed to feel more comfortable talking with a confident, strong-willed woman if she was attached to a man. She didn't like that this was the way that the world worked, but she was willing to play the game in order to get the job done. That being said, having the other half of the charade couple with her on the job was making her feel strangely uneasy. But being the professional that she was, Toni shook those feelings off to ensure that she could complete this job without interference.

On their approach to the balloon lined entrance to the gated community, Toni held her hand over her mouth as she snorted through a laugh.

"Are you okay over there 'Mrs. Archer'?" Sam questioned while trying to find a suitable parking spot on the busy street.

"Sorry but if I recall correctly, this place is kind of like a wet dream for you, isn't it?" Toni countered as she visibly shivered. "God these places give me the creeps."

Sam allowed himself to share in her amusement before he clarified in a flat tone, "Nah, that dream died with Jess."

Toni stole a quick glance at Sam, but she noticed that his eyes remained fixed out the windshield, so she kept any further commentary to herself.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Toni pointed out the window barely whispering, "There's a spot just up ahead there."

After Sam had the truck parked, he stopped Toni from unfastening her seat belt. "Okay, so let me open your door for you, it'll look better that way. I'll leave details like the song for our first dance and all that up to you. Our main objective today will be to find out if or how Jimmy is connected to the Grad student and the high school teacher. Any questions?"

Toni unlatched her safety belt, slid over and placed a soft his on Sam's cheek then whispered in his ear, "We have an audience… My only question is, are we ready to this job done?"

She was about to slide back to her side of the truck when Sam reached up and held her face just a few inches from his. She swallowed hard as he stared deep into her eyes as she started to feel like this was going to lead up to something more. Toni searched Sam's eyes for any sign of what was to come next so that she could quell the nervous sensation in her stomach. Toni was always guarded with her emotions, but she had a seemingly innate ability to read what was on other people's minds (when she was paying attention), but right now she couldn't gauge what Sam might be thinking and suddenly Toni started to feel incredibly uncomfortable, but she resisted the urge to struggle out of his hold.

Sam then slowly lifted his right hand to her left eye and very carefully plucked an eyelash that was hanging from her eye as he answered, "I'm more than ready." Then he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips and while she was frozen in a euphoric state with her eyes closed, Sam slipped out and appeared at her now open door.

They walked hand in hand to one of the houses up for sale that was being used for the open house tours because they had already been informed, in a not so subtle, polite Southern-charm kind of way that any non-resident of the complex was expected to endure the sale's pitch before being permitted to enjoy the festivities.

Toni and Sam had bonded at Stanford over their similar upbringings where neither of them had had one place that they remembered as their 'home' or 'foundation' because they had move from town to town so frequently. Much like Sam's experience of moving from motel to motel that yielded no individuality, the homes that Toni had lived in had all been cookie cutter replicas of each other and she never stayed in once place long enough to have ever made it feel like it was 'hers'. The only time she ever felt like she had had a space of her own was in her dorm room, but that was short lived, so Toni didn't put much stock in those memories.

As they moved from room to room, the other couples took their time asking insightful questions about the different attributes of the house and its yard slowing the tour down considerably. Toni had to stifle her uncomfortable laughter on more than one occasion when she overheard the strangers whispering to each other about which room would work best as a nursery or so on. Sam helped to keep her in check by squeezing her hand or by quietly whispering her name as a caution in her ear to bring out Toni's game face. Once the tour was finally over, they were given a 'Buyer's Package' that Sam was able to conveniently 'forget' on a table before entering the Bar-B-Que area.

"So… A home like this… It's not really your cup of tea, huh?" Sam asked with full knowledge of how Toni would reply.

"Sam, you know it's not," she confirmed with slight exasperation as she picked up a bottle of beer out of a cooler for each of them. "This isn't reality… This is just an illusion that people allow themselves to believe is real."

"Wow and I thought that I was cynical," Sam joked drinking the beer and moving deeper into the party.

"Well think about it," Toni reasoned quietly. "All of our dealings with the supernatural aside, what you see here so isn't what you get. Like… I bet he's (she nodded towards a dad manning a grill) banging his secretary and she's (she tilted her head towards a mom that was cleaning her son's face after a messy meal) doing the pool boy. The 'American Dream' is just that… A dream. Sorry, but I'm more than happy to live in the fucked up real world."

"I didn't realize you felt so strongly about this. I mean, when we were together, you didn't say much about this at all. Or at least I don't remember you being so adamantly against living a normal life," Sam observed as he surveyed the crowd for the Medina's.

"Well… You said that you wanted this and I didn't want to criticize you for that. Just because this isn't the life for me doesn't mean that no one should live it if they want to," Toni admitted while blushing slightly.

Sam could see the reason behind Toni's explanation, but before he had a chance to say anything more about the topic, they each felt an arm wrap around their waist. When they turned to check who was hugging them, they were greeted with the smiling face of Michelle Medina as she stood in between them.

"So you made it through the Open House alive. What did you think?" Michelle questioned eagerly as she moved to stand in front of them.

"Well…" Toni started uneasily.

"It's a beautiful house," Sam took over with more confidence. "But we need to see about securing a job in town before we can decide on anything permanent."

"Oh! Yeah, of course you do! Well I'm sure that they'll love you both and scoop you up right away," Michelle exclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm for Toni's comfort level. "I've been talking you two up to all the neighbors and everyone is so excited to meet you. Now… Would you mind if I steal your wife away from you Sam?"

Sam shook his head laughing as he replied, "No that's no problem."

He scooped Toni into his arms, kissed her softly then whispered, "Call if you need back up." After he released her, Sam added, "Have fun you two."

Michelle then took Toni by the hand and swiftly led her in the direction of a group of women at the other end of the block. Sam did another quick check of the large crowd for Michelle's husband, but when he still couldn't find him, he opted to try Plan B instead.

He was able to easily slip away from the party to find the Medina's, hopefully, empty house. He picked the lock to the back door without any complications and entered their kitchen before anyone could take notice of him. As he moved from room to room looking for any clues that could connect Jimmy Medina to the two latest werewolf victims, he found little of interest.

Then he found a locked door on the main floor close to the front door. While picking the lock, his phone started to vibrate. Not wanting to get caught in the Medina's house, Sam completed his task then slunk into the room. Before fumbling around to find a light, he pulled out his phone to check whose call he had missed. Instead of a name and number with an awaiting voice mail, he found two text messages from Toni.

"JM called into wrk" and "Got the 411 on vics Save me from suburbia hell NOW! :P"

Sam laughed as he placed his phone in his pocket then quickly found a light switch and flipped it on. Although he was confident that Toni had obtained some useful information that they would need, he wanted to be thorough. Sam figured that Toni wouldn't get upset with him for that because she had always been a stickler for minute details when studying, so he knew that she would appreciate the extra effort. As he surveyed the room, he could immediately tell that he was in what would best describe as Jimmy's home office.

There was a locked file cabinet beside a large oak roller top desk, which also appeared to be secured shut and locked, that Sam decided would be his first avenue of investigation. The lock popped open without much effort and Sam found neat rows of perfectly labeled file folders containing maps and diagrams of various vacant lots. The only one that Sam found of interest was one that contained notes from their Graduate student in regards to the environmental impact that any further development would have on the lake where the Medinas had their summer home.

 _Huh… Guess that explains how he knew her,_ Sam thought to himself.

Inside that same folder, he found a map of the lake that he folded up and pocketed for eventual future use.

There wasn't much by way of paperwork on the desk after he unlocked the roller top, so Sam made himself comfortable in Jimmy's seat and got ready to hack into Jimmy's computer to see what else he could find out. He was just about to turn on the computer when his phone started to vibrate again. This time he pulled it out without hesitation.

As he started to read the first text message, he received two more within a minute.

"R U at the grill?"

"No CRAP!"

"Where the fuck are you?"

Sam was ready to just laugh off Toni's messages, but after another minute or so his phone came to life with a message that read: "I'M GONNA KILL U IN UR SLEEP!"

Not wanting to incur the full wrath of Toni's fury, Sam decided that it would be best for him to find her as quickly as possible. He made sure to return everything in the office back to the state he had found it in and then he slipped out the back door en route to reconnect with Toni.

When he got back to where he and Toni had separated, Sam had anticipated that finding her would be easy, but she was nowhere to be found. He weaved his way through the crowd, asking random people if they had seen a woman matching Toni's or Michelle's description. Most of the people knew who Michelle was, but the answer remained the same, no one was certain where they were right then (but they could point out the spot where they were about ten minutes ago).

Sam was just pulling out his phone to call Toni when she spotted him from a few houses down the block. She had already explained to Michelle that once she found Sam, she would have to leave because they both needed to prepare for their job interviews. She figured that that would mean that she could get away easily.

"Oh gosh, sorry Michelle, there's Sam right over there. I better go and catch up with him," Toni explained with fake regret in her tone as she passed the nine month old she was holding back to Michelle. "Thanks again for showing me around."

"No problem. But we'll talk soon, right? Maybe get coffee or something?" Michelle called after her as Toni nearly sprinted towards Sam.

"Sure sounds good!" Toni answered over her shoulder.

Once she caught up with Sam, Toni gave him a quick hug and greeted him with her best faux enthusiasm that she could muster right now, "Honey I've missed you! We better get going or we're going to be late for our appointment."

Seeing Toni narrow her eyes in a silent caution not to protest, Sam smiled, took her hand and replied, "Sorry, I lost track of the time."

As they walked back to the truck, they were stopped a few times by different women that Toni had been introduced to by Michelle. They all wanted to extend a warm salutation to her husband and they all tried to get Toni to agree to 'catching up' in the near future. Once they were finally away from the crowd, Toni promptly threw Sam's hand to his side and quickened her pace to reach her truck.

By the time Sam caught up to her, Toni was standing beside the truck, clenching and unclenching her fists, looking like she was ready for a fight. As he unlocked her door he commented with mock sympathy, "Aww come on, it couldn't have been that bad. The ladies all seemed to really like you."

Sam had opened Toni's door for her, so she slammed it shut to ensure that she had his full attention before she nearly shouted in an incensed rage, "BABIES SAM! They made me hold fucking babies!" She moved her hair off her shoulder to show him a spot on his jacket. "And that's not from a fucking bird! So can we just get the fuck out of here now? Please?"

Sam was still laughing as he crawled behind the wheel, but Toni resisted the urge to punch him by staring out the window and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh come on. It's couldn't have actually been THAT bad."

"YES it could and it WAS. Seriously, can we just go now? I'd rather not have a street full of witnesses when I strangle your last breath out of you," Toni answered without the slightest hint of humor. "God… They wouldn't stop asking me when we are going to start our family because… And I quote, 'You two would have the most beautiful babies'. Where the fuck were you?"

"I was at the Medina's house. I found Jimmy's home office. Did you know that the Grad student…?" Sam started somewhat smugly.

"That she was doing the environmental impact survey of the lake for Jimmy's firm?" Toni interrupted heatedly. "Yeah, I knew that. Did you know that the teacher was a neighbor of the Medina's at the lake who was winterizing her cabin when she was killed?"

"No, I didn't know that," Sam admitted quietly.

"Yeah… Well… Like my first text said, I got all of the info we needed on the last two victims," Toni added not trying in the slightest to hide her anger. "And Jimmy's at work, which means he's probably going to be at the lake house at some point today. Did I miss anything?"

"Do you know how to get to the lake or where their place is there?" Sam questioned with a slight tone of self-righteous indignation.

Toni shrunk back and replied (more to herself than to Sam) with a sneer, "No… Do you Smartass?"

To answer her question, Sam handed her the map that he had found in Jimmy's office. Toni took it from him, looked it over and then stared at him as a huge grin spread across his face.

"Fine… You do," she conceded more pleasantly. "But couldn't you have come and got me to help you?" She finished with a slight whine.

When her question elicited only soft laughter as a response, Toni's kinder demeanor became clouded by anger again as she retorted, "Fine… Whatever… I just wish that you would have warned me that we weren't going into this job as equal partners."

They had made it back to the motel by this point and after Sam parked the pickup he reached out and grabbed Toni's hand. She stared at his hand as he took a firm hold of her wrist, refusing to make eye contact with him as he said, "It's not like that Toni…"

"Yes it is," she interrupted quietly with calm certainty. "Please let go of my wrist, I have to wash my jacket before the stain sets."

Hearing the raw sorrow in Toni's tone caught Sam off guard, so he released Toni's arm immediately. She calmly exited the vehicle and Sam stayed in his seat as he watched her walk briskly back to the room with her eyes fixed on her feet.


	9. I'm So Afraid of Breaking What We Made

Hearing the raw sorrow in Toni's voice caught Sam off guard so he released Toni's arm immediately. She calmly exited the vehicle and Sam stayed in his seat as he watched her walk briskly back to the room with her eyes fixed on her feet.

Sam really wasn't in the mood to get into a shouting match with Toni about gender equality issues, so he remained stationed in his place. He was hoping that she would blow off the majority of her steam in the room alone while he studied the map of the lake to plan out their next hunt. In the seven months that they were 'together' at school, Sam had seen Toni get into a couple of arguments where she hadn't been able to keep her emotions in check and she had been pretty scary. On the rare occasion when that had happened, there was absolutely no way to reason with her until she finished her argument. But then an hour later she had return to her normal, even-tempered self, as if her outburst had never happened. If someone ask about it (which only happened once) she had acknowledged that she MIGHT have overreacted, but that her argument was still valid.

After what felt like an eternity, Sam checked the clock then sighed with the utmost frustration. He hadn't checked the time when Toni had left so he had no way of knowing how long it had been since she had gone back to the room. Willing to take his chances, Sam slowly extracted himself form the truck to make his way to the room. He paused at the door and put his ear to it in an attempt to hear what was happening in the room. When he didn't hear any smashing or crashing around, he tried to peak through their window while he turned the knob.

As he stepped into the room, he heard the sound of the faucet in the bathroom running, so he assumed that Toni was still working at washing the stain from her jacket. He moved silently through the room and sat down at the spot that he had claimed as his own at the table. From his spot, he just watched the closed bathroom door debating if it would just be easier for him to just hop in the truck and take care of Jimmy Medina on his own or not.

Shortly after Sam had made himself comfortable, Toni emerged from the bathroom. She had her hair pulled into a loose bun, so Sam couldn't see that the ends of her hair were still wet from her having had to wash some remnants of the baby's vomit out of them. She was holding her semi-soaked jacket and she retrieved a hanger from the tiny closet to hang her jacket on a hook on the back of the bathroom door where the fan was on so that it could dry.

Toni continued to move through the room as if she were completely alone, not noticing or not caring that Sam was now present. She pulled out her bags and placed one of them on a chair near the end of the bed to take out a change of shirt. With her back turned to Sam, she shed her button down blouse. Sam sat in a stunned silence as Toni unlatched her flesh colored cotton bra and removed it as well.

As she stood there, naked from the waist up, she carefully folded her blouse before placing it in her bag. Sam got up and moved stealthily towards her as if there was some unseen magnetic pull between them. Toni jumped slightly when Sam's hands reached around her and softly cupped each of her naked breasts then Sam stayed still for a moment while he waited for Toni's reaction with slight apprehension. When the back of her head rested gently on his chest, Sam lowered his lips to kiss her neck while his hands massaged the flesh in his palms.

"I really am so sorry Toni," he apologized in a lust filled tone. "I didn't mean to offend you… That's just how we do things." He continued as he covered her shoulder, neck and cheek with soft embraces.

While his hands continued to toy with her breasts, Sam couldn't hide his smile when he felt Toni grab his left thigh to steady herself against his body. Toni allowed him to continue with what he was doing and when he gently pinched her nipple to bring it to a hard peak, she swallowed her aroused moan to keep from letting onto Sam the true effect he was having on her.

"I'm so sorry," he would add every so often trying to pull any sound that he could out of her. He remained so focused on his tasks that he didn't hear Toni slide the zipper of her jeans open. Then she reached up and clasped his right paw in her smaller fist.

"Okay Sam," she finally answered. "If you're so sorry, then why don't you prove it to me," she nearly ordered as she slid his hand down the defined muscles of her abdomen to the waist of her cotton panties. Sam ceased all movement to watch her direct his hand to exactly where she wanted it.

When he didn't continue past the elastic waist band, she rolled her head while it was still on his chest so that she could look up at his face and somewhat forcefully demanded, "Well?"

Without any further thought or hesitation, his hand moved downward over her nearly naked skin and he soon felt that Toni wasn't actually angry at all. In fact, she was beyond aroused and her excitement hit him like a lightning bolt which caused him to bite down a little too hard on her shoulder as he slid two fingers slowly inside her.

"Sam? SAM?" He heard Toni shouting from across the room, followed by the undeniable CLICK of Toni placing the clip into the handle of her gun. "Earth to Sam!" She continued with a chuckle.

"What? What was that?" He questioned, completely dazed and still staring at the spot where she had changed into a sport's bra and long sleeve shirt.

"Other than silver bullets, is there anything else that I should have with me?" She asked sounding like it wasn't the first time that she'd made that same inquiry.

"Umm… Yeah… Anything you've got that's made out of silver… Weapons wise, I mean," he answered somewhat distractedly. He finally forced his eyes to focus on her and she looked like she was now deep in thought.

"Shit… I have my iron knife. Unless… No, damn… Took it out after that job in Oregon… Dammit… Ok, well silver bullets it is then," she concluded with a nonchalant shrug.

As she pulled her belt out of a couple of loops on her jeans to attach her holster, Toni looked over at Sam and asked, "Now, do we wait until nightfall or do we head out sooner?"

Sam had finally snapped out of his daydream and was on his feet moving towards his duffle bags.

"I just need to change and then I think it would be best if we head out now. It'll be dark soon enough, so we should try to get a lay of the land before nightfall," he explained.

"Yeah that's what I thought too. Okay… So while you get changed, I'll look over the map you got and I'll try to familiarize myself with it."

Sam nodded then continued towards the bathroom. At the door he paused and looked back at Toni, now seated at the table pouring over the slightly crinkled paper he had brought in with him. He shook his head at himself for forgetting that this was Toni he was dealing with. She didn't do dramatic bitchfests about things when she had a job to complete. No… She could compartmentalize her feelings and push them aside in order to move onto the next step in achieving any of her goals.

By the time he had changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, Toni had pulled up an aerial map off the lake on Sam's laptop. He stood behind her as she examined the various houses and docks that lined the shores of the water.

"I hope you don't mind, but your laptop was out and all… So," she started as she closed the laptop shut. "It looks like they've added a dock just at the end of their yard here. Otherwise not much else has changed on this map."

Sam nodded slowly, but since he was remaining mute, she continued, "Alright, so I was thinking… We can cover more ground if one of us takes the cabin while the other covers the ground outside. What do you think?"

Sam nodded silently again. Toni turned fully around to look at Sam and when he didn't make eye contact, she closed her eyes and hung her head dejectedly.

"Sam? Are we going to have to have a heart to heart or can we just move on and get this job done?" She asked with the mildest hint of annoyance slipping into her tone.

Sam shook his head and then his eyes met hers and he seemed to once again wake up. "No, no I'm good. I was just wondering… Which would you prefer, inside or out?"

"Well I still suck at picking a deadbolt, so I'll take outside?"

"Sure, sounds good. And your gun… It's loaded with silver bullets?"

"Yeah," she answered with more self-confidence. "Okay, so I also double checked the calendar and it looks like we're in the full moon cycle right now, so he doesn't have to have… Umm… An object of affection to turn… Uhh… Do you think that makes him more or less dangerous?"

Sam shrugged as he placed a silver knife in a pocket on the inside of his coat. "They're pretty vicious regardless… I don't know if it makes a difference. Why do you ask?"

"Oh… I just thought that since you had… Uhh you know, pretty 'intimate' knowledge of werewolves that you might have… Umm some insights. But whatever… Vicious monster, shoot it in the heart… That's all that I really need to know," Toni replied as she put on her jacket and met him at the door.

"Intimate… Wait, you… You know about Madison?" Sam asked with genuine surprise.

"Yeah, 'Heart' was one of the three books that I read. You two together… It was pretty hot you know," she admitted while raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Sam unconsciously blushed and Toni couldn't help but smirk. She mentally patted herself on the back for once again being able to unnerve Sam so easily. He remained frozen for a moment, so Toni leaned over and turned the key in the ignition. She hadn't noticed that she had steadied herself by placing her hand on Sam's inner thigh, but Sam's eyes immediately became glued to the connection when he felt it. He decided not to say anything about it and then they continued on as if it had never happened.

When they pulled up to the cabin, Toni watched the setting sun with a slightly worried eye. Sam caught onto her apprehension and offered, "You can still take the cabin if you wanted."

Toni shook her head, smiled brightly and then replied, "No that's okay. It's a clear night, so I'm sure there'll be enough moonlight. I didn't expect the sun to set so fast… I'm just hoping that I dressed warmly enough."

Sam was still laughing softly when they met at the hood of the truck to go over their final details. "So, I'll call you if I find him, alright?"

Toni again shook her head, unholstered her pistol then held his arm to ensure that she had his full attention. "If you find him first, please don't waste any time on calling me… 'Jimmy's dead' is all that I need to hear from you when this is done, okay Sam?"

He nodded and prepared his gun as well by chambering a round. Then he turned to leave but Toni's hand shot out and grabbed his to halt him.

"Sam… Be careful, okay? Make sure that I get to buy you a celebratory drink when this is all said and done, alright?"

As he was nodding, Toni stood up on her tiptoes and pulled his face to hers. Sam picked up on her intentions almost instantly and picked her up to help eliminate the height difference so that they could share a tender kiss. Toni kept a hold of his neck and hugged him tightly then whispered, "Thank you for saving my life and helping me with all of this Sam."

Sam squeezed her but didn't have any words to offer as a reply. Then he placed her gently on the ground and they each said one last "Good luck" before finally parting ways.

Sam entered the cabin with ease as Toni made her way to the dock by the back yard. The yard was beautifully manicured and was quite sparse because the owners had already stored all of their outdoor furniture for the winter. Toni was very thankful that it was in fact a clear night because visibility was even better than she had originally anticipated.

The nearly full moon had risen high above the lake and was illuminating the soft ripples that rose in the soft breeze which Toni found unusually calming. As she made her way towards the shore line, Toni could see a fairly large mass near the edge of the dock. She surveyed the area for any other movement and for any cover that would help her to reach the dock undetected.

She followed close against a hedge that played the role of a makeshift fence between the Medina's yard and that of a neighboring yard. As she moved towards her target, Toni paused twice when she thought that she heard a noise on the other side of the hedge, but each time she cautiously checked the other side, there was nothing to be found. When she reached the end of the shrubbery, Toni could now make out that the large dark blob she had seen from the house appeared to in fact be a body. She wanted to sprint out to it and check if it was another werewolf victim, but she knew that such a move would be incredibly stupid and only make her more vulnerable. So she stayed pressed against the bush and closed her eyes while stilling her breath, listening intently for any other movement in the immediate area. When she went up to the count of 150 without hearing anything, she ventured a check over and then around the hedge.

With every step she took, Toni started to feel sicker and sicker because as she got closer, she knew that the scent in the air was unmistakably blood and bodily fluids. She stood over the legs of the woman and holstered her sidearm as she took a closer look. Toni stood frozen for a moment then forced down the bile rising in the back of her throat with a hard swallow. The red head's chest had been ripped open with a couple of her ribs lying beside her corpse. Toni nearly vomited at the thought, but she knew that she had to check if her heart was missing before she did anything else.

When Toni had that confirmed, she forlornly whispered, "I'm so sorry" to the woman, but it did nothing to ease her mounting feelings of guilt.

She once again had to take a moment to collect herself and secretly hoped that Sam had found their most recent target and had taken care of him. Ever the realist, she knew from the absence of the sound gunfire in the distance that Jimmy was still around somewhere. And then she heard it…

Somewhere behind her, towards the shore, Toni heard the distinctive sound of a snarl. She then placed her hand on her hip and struggled slightly to unlatch the catch over her gun. By the time she finally had it out and she was standing again looking at the grotesquely misshapen form that Jimmy Medina took when he transformed into a werewolf was only a few feet away from her.

Toni started to take a few steps back and then she heard Sam yell from close to the hedging in an attempt to get its attention. However, Jimmy's attention never wavered as he made his slow, deliberate approach towards Toni.

She stole a glance over her shoulder for a possible escape route, but saw nothing more than the black depths of the lake. Toni leveled her pistol in an attempt to line up her shot, but Jimmy kept his body slumped over in such a way that his torso was never erect enough to present her with the appropriate target. Toni wanted nothing more than to increase the distance between herself and the creature, so she took a large step backwards… Right into a large pool of blood. She immediately lost her footing, but instead of falling face first into the blood soaked wood of the dock, she used her sideways momentum and dove head first into the water.

After she was safely in the lake, Toni swam a few strokes under the water and as she surfaced, she heard Sam pop off two rounds into the werewolf. One of them struck its target and Jimmy reared up in pain, which gave Toni an unobstructed view of his torso. She took this opening and squeezed the trigger of her gun three times as quickly as possible. By the time Sam reached the creature's body, it had finally fallen silent after issuing a long blood curdling shriek.

Sam was satisfied that Toni had put down their werewolf, so he ran to the edge of the dock to meet her as she swam back. He quickly holstered his firearm in the small of his back and reached down to pull her out of the water.

"Nice shot," he praised as soon as she joined him on the dock.

She was beaming at her achievement, but when she looked down at the werewolf, Toni's face twisted into horrified shock.

"He's… He loo… Looks…" She stuttered.

"Human? Yeah, they revert back to their human form when they're dead," Sam explained indifferently while watching Toni start to shiver violently. "Hey, are you okay Toni?"

She tried desperately to reply, but her teeth were chattering too vigorously for her to form any words.

"Yeah, jumping into frigid water in the autumn twilight, not the brightest idea," Sam commented somewhat compassionately as he scooped her up into his arms.

Toni was still holding her gun in an icy death grip, so Sam pried it from her fingers and dropped it in his pocket. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck, but her nearly hypothermic muscles couldn't do anything but vibrate as they attempted to warm themselves up. Sam didn't hesitate to drape her arms around his neck as he moved towards the yard so that he could hold her tight to his body in an attempt to warm her up with his own body heat.

He ran as fast as he could while he carried her shivering body towards her truck. As they neared the pickup, Sam only stopped because he felt Toni's jaw move more deliberately than it had been moving when he felt her teeth chattering during his run.

"What is it Toni?"

"Ba… Blah… Blanket… Bah… Bac…" She stoically tried to explain.

"Backseat?" He concluded correctly as she nodded and slurred, "Yeah."

"Do you think you can stand on your own long enough for me to grab it?" Toni again forced her head to nod again.

Sam placed her on her feet and held her face for a couple of seconds as she got her chattering mouth to flash him the closest thing to a smile that she could muster. He sprinted to the driver's side and turned on the ignition and cranked the heat to high while stealing a few glances at Toni's shivering form. Then he searched the backseat in the dark until his hand brushed against the rough fabric of a heavy woolen blanket.

He rushed back to Toni as fast as his legs could take his large frame and she was thankfully still standing. He was able to wrap the oversized blanket around Toni's petit frame twice and then he picked her up again and carried her still shivering body to the passenger's seat. After he laid her down on the bench seat, he shed his heavy coat and placed it over her blanket clad body as well.

Toni wasn't able to minimize the amount of space that she was taking up on the front seat of her own volition, so Sam had to place her head in his lap so that he could drive. During the entire drive, he continued to stroke her face and now loose wet hair in an attempt to not only warm her but to comfort her as much as possible as well.

Once they returned to the motel, Sam was soaked with sweat in the sweltering heat of the cab of the truck. After he cut the engine, he wiped his brow then checked on Toni. Her eyes were squeezed she, her teeth were still chattering and her whole body was still shivering uncontrollably. He once again picked her up off the seat and carried her into the room without a word because he could feel in his gut that this was a bad situation that really didn't need to be discussed.

After she was once again standing, Sam unwound the blanket from around her trembling body then softly instructed, "You need to get out of these wet clothes… I'm going to grab some towels, okay?" Before he would leave her alone, he had to ensure that she understood so he stood in front of her until she moved her head in a nodding motion.

While he was in the bathroom gathering up as many clean towels as he could find, Toni attempted to remove her clothes on her own. This was nearly impossible for her to do because her hands were shaking too violently for her to complete that task. When Sam returned to her side, he dumped the towels on the bed and looked down at the frustrated look on her face with slight amusement. Even as he stood there, she continued her attempts to remove her clothes despite her absolute inability to do so.

Sam stopped her hands in midair and gently lowered them to her sides saying, "Okay… Here, let me help you."

After he peeled off Toni's shirt, Sam started to struggle with her now form clinging jeans. Once he had the soaked jeans somewhat rolled down to her ankles, Sam sat her on the bed so that he could remove her sneakers and the stubborn denim. Sam got Toni to her feet again and she wanted to do nothing more than wrap her arms around her nearly naked body to hide her vulnerability from Sam, but once again her quaking muscles couldn't comply with her brain's directive.

Sam maneuvered around Toni and picked up one of the towels and gently started to dry her long, somewhat matted hair. Once that thin towel had absorbed as much water as it could, Sam tossed it onto the pile with the blanket and Toni's soaked clothes. She continued to shiver uncontrollably as he wrapped a second towel around her body and tried to soak up as much water off her skin and underwear as possible. It too became sopping wet too quickly and Sam tossed it onto the growing pile with an annoyed grunt.

Toni still wasn't able to do much more than shiver while her teeth continued to chatter and Sam looked down at her with his brows furrowed in frustration. Since Toni didn't seem to be able to control her limbs, Sam lifted her arms over her head before he started to fight with her unyielding sports bra. As he tried to gingerly roll it up and off her body, it pinched her more than once. Toni's mouth couldn't stop its quickly paced up and down motion to whimper in pain, but her cheek did burn somewhat under Sam's palm when he brushed a couple of tears away.

"I'm sorry, but I have to… I have to get all of your wet clothes off you," Sam quietly explained.

Toni was finally able to nod and them Sam removed her last article of offending clothing. As she stood there, stark naked, Sam tried to keep from focusing on her supple skin and picked up the last dry towel on the bed and wrapped it around her. He then rubbed his hands up and down her sides vigorously to dry and try to warm her.

She hissed slightly in pain at the sandpaper texture then painfully stuttered, "Be… Be… Beachchch… Ta… Ta…"

"Beach towel?" Sam asked, putting Toni out of her misery.

She nodded slightly then Sam quickly questioned, "Your bag?"

After another nod, Sam riffled through each of her bags until he found the soft, fluffy oversized towel with her favorite cartoon character printed on it. Toni offered him the best smile that her chattering teeth could offer in appreciation of his effort. The towel was big enough to wrap around her petite frame almost three times and then he picked her up and placed her on the bed under the covers. Sam's clothes were now quite damp with sweat and lake water, so Sam stripped down to his boxers before he crawled into bed and pulled Toni into his arms.

He nuzzled into her and put his chin on her shoulder and squeezed her against his chest and whispered, "I've got you Toni… Don't worry… Everything is going to be okay."


	10. It s Delicate and Lovely

Throughout the night, Sam had to shift his body numerous times in order to ensure that he could keep Toni's ever trembling body plastered to his own. Soon the sound of chattering teeth was joined by her low steady snore, but Sam didn't allow himself to relax too much and remained alert to any changes while she slept. He was still sweating profusely, but he knew it was his own fault because he had slipped out of bed to crank the heat up in the room in the hopes that Toni would warm up as soon as possible.

Finally after a few hours, her shivering started to subside and then her body unconsciously tried to mold itself to Sam's position on the bed. He remained silent while squeezing her tightly, listening for any changes that might indicate that something might be wrong or that Toni might be in any form of distress. At first his fears seemed to be all for nothing because she nestled her head in the crook of his arm as she continued to sleep while shivering slightly less vigorously. Sam kissed her cheek and stroked her cocooned body, somewhat relieved that his efforts appeared to be paying off.

When he heard Toni make a few soft noises, he ceased all movement so that he could better hear what she was saying.

"Ow… Shit… Ow…" Toni curse softly to herself almost under her breath.

"Toni? What's wrong?" Sam whispered into her ear.

She wriggled around the best that she could so that she could turn her head to look at him in the dark. "Ssorry Sam… I ddidn't mean to wwake you," she apologized as her teeth chattered slightly after every other word.

"Don't worry about that, I was already awake. What do you need Toni?"

"My shshoulder with the ststiches… It's pipinching and huhurts," she explained somewhat hesitantly.

Sam shifted back away from Toni to give her some room then asked, "Do you need me to help you to roll onto your right side? Or can you do it yourself?"

She was able to get onto her back without aide and she allowed the towel to fall away from her body without answering Sam's question. As she tried to continue to roll onto her right side, Toni struggled a bit more than before now that she was in a puddle of terry cloth on the bed. She grunted quietly in frustration and when Sam chuckled softly, she muttered an amused, "Shut up Sam."

He leaned forward and placed his hand on her left shoulder, but quickly stopped himself before pulling her towards his position. Toni was almost lying on her back, so Sam slid his hand down to her elbow and used it to steady her onto her side. Once she was somewhat comfortable, he placed his hand on the small of her back and hugged her closely once again. She nuzzled perfectly under his chin and sighed softly as she made herself even more comfortable.

The towel had continued to fall, so Toni liberated her left arm and wrapped it around Sam's torso. When her fingers hit his back, Sam shivered and they both chuckled because the tips of her fingers were still ice cold. She then deliberately ran her fingers up and down his spine slowly which caused him to arch his back away from them and he unintentionally thrust his chest further into her. This time, it was Toni's turn to chuckle and Sam echoed her earlier sentiment with his own good-natured, "Shut up Toni."

They laid there holding each other tightly and Toni started to tremble once again. Before Sam could register his concern verbally, he felt Toni's semi-chapped lips press against his neck. She used her free hand to help pull her body up so that she could continue to place kisses form his chest all the way up to his jaw and chin.

"Sam… I owe you big time," she softly stated before kissing the tip of his nose and resting her head on her pillow. Sam maintained eye contact with her as he nodded in agreement. She pulled his face to hers and after kissing him deeply asked, "So… Any ideas how I might be able to attempt to pay you back?"

Sam ran his fingers through Toni's now dry hair and marveled at how soft it now felt. Once his hand had made it to the back of her head, he pulled her into a deep kiss and rolled her gently onto her back. Toni matched Sam kiss for kiss with their only interruption being when her teeth involuntarily chattered and she accidentally bit his lip.

Sam immediately backed off and suck on his bottom lip as Toni looked up at him in mildly horrified and whispered "Sorry" through a nervous laugh. Sam dipped down and caught her lips again then said, "Hey, if you were okay with doing some rough stuff, all you had to do was tell me."

Toni was still giggling as Sam finally had her unwrapped and discarded the beach towel on the ground. He then caressed her flesh with adoring kisses and soft bites from head to her hips. Sam lingered when he reached her breasts and reveled in the memory of his daydream from earlier as his tongue encircled her nipple intently. Toni's hands tangled themselves in Sam's hair and she massaged his scalp appreciatively trying to keep him focused on pleasuring her.

Sam's mouth worked its way back up to her face as his left hand gently spread Toni's legs open so that he could work two fingers slowly into her. She was gasping through her moans while she trailed her hands down his torso and grasped the waistband of his boxers.

"Too… Many… Clothes…" Toni panted out as she struggled to free Sam from his underwear.

They laughed into each other's mouths at Toni's awkwardness because from her angle she couldn't get Sam's boxers much farther down than just past his butt cheeks. Even though her efforts were fruitless, Toni continued to try stubbornly to disrobe Sam. When he heard a pain filled, defeated grunt, Sam finally sat back on his heels and easily completed Toni's previous task.

Toni didn't mean to but she found herself staring at the now naked man in front of her. She smiled approvingly as she started to trace the muscles of his chest with her index and middle fingers. She followed the line of his ribs to his side and started to tickle him softly. This didn't elicit the laughter that she had anticipated, however she only stopped when Sam grabbed her hand somewhat abruptly. He pulled her up into a seated position and kissed her passionately instead of giving into her playfulness.

"Don't move a muscle," he instructed softly as he started to get up off the bed.

Toni gripped his arms so tightly that she nearly drew blood as she pulled him back down on top of her replying, "No… Need you now."

"But Toni," he protested while trying once again to get off her.

Toni had her legs wrapped around Sam's hips with her heels planted firmly against his thighs. She kept him pressed close to her and started to guide him into her as she explained, "I took care of that a year ago… We don't have to worry about any… Umm 'surprises' nine months down the road."

Sam froze in his spot and started at her completely dumbfounded. When Sam didn't make a move to continue, Toni stopped as well, worried that she had scared him with her revelation. Sam watched her as she slowly combed her fingers through his hair.

"Really? So… The whole no kids thing…"

"I still haven't changed my mind," Toni interrupted. "And I never will… So… Are we ready to, you know, get…?"

Sam swallowed the rest of her question with a kiss before he complied with Toni's demands. Despite Toni having mentioned that her wounds had been irritating her earlier, Sam set an overly exuberant pace almost immediately. Toni was too lost in ecstasy to register any pain and even after Sam worked her through her second orgasm, while he was completing his own, she remained ignorant to the pain she should have been feeling.

Sam rolled off of Toni and pulled her over so that she was lying on her stomach with her chest resting on his. Toni pulled herself over Sam's chest, kissed him more tenderly than their earlier feverish contact and relished in the taste of his mouth. Sam snaked his arm around her back to keep her steady on top of him, so that they could easily continue kissing each other lovingly.

"Sam… That was… Wow, just… Oh my God, wow… Ow…" Toni praised as she cuddled into his side.

"You can say that again," Sam replied, rubbing her back in soft circles. "So, are you all warmed up now?"

"You know me," Toni teased. "I'm hot blooded."

They both groaned and then laughed softly before Toni added, "Yeah, that lame joke, all your fault."

Sam's hand traveled up to her left shoulder and he pressed her tightly to his torso asking, "How is that my fault?"

Toni's fingers ran up and down the right side of Sam's ribcage and she was just about to offer her retort when Sam's hand stopped moving. As it flew off of her back, Sam sat up exclaiming, "Shit! Toni, I think you're bleeding."

Her hand reached around her body to check what Sam had felt, but she couldn't quite find the spot. He quickly grasped her wrists and laid her on her stomach then said, "Just lay still so I can check your back, okay?"

Toni grabbed a couple of pillows and tucked them under her chin while she waited for Sam.

"Sam I'm sure it's no big deal," Toni called out from her spot now that she was more comfortable.

She felt the bed sip under Sam's weight as he straddled her body with his hands filled with supplies. She beamed to herself when she felt that he hadn't taken the time to dress before returning to the bed to check on her wounds. Toni steadied her breathing and closed her eyes tightly to keep from hissing in pain so that Sam could work without interruptions. After the wound and the area around it were clean, Sam investigated the source of the blood with his eyes and fingers and discovered that a couple of the stitches on one of her wounds had ripped open. Toni's entire upper body unconsciously flinched away from Sam's hands when he pulled the damaged stitches out, but she remained completely silent.

"It looks like a couple of your stitches opened up. I guess we got a little too carried away," Sam explained in a as he continued cleaning her back.

Toni turned her head so that she could somewhat see over her right shoulder and she light-heartedly countered his statement by saying, "Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that the intended use of dental floss is not being used to stitch up a werewolf's claw marks on a person's back."

Sam laughed as he looked over the rest of Dean's handiwork until he was confident that the other stitches were still secure. "Well, that may be, but the rest are holding up pretty well and your gashes are healing up nicely. Do you think you can handle me sewing you up again?"

Toni shook her head, so Sam stopped his preparations and leaned down and offered, "I probably have a bottle of whiskey in my bag if that would help."

Toni couldn't help but issue a healthy laugh as her right hand tried to find Sam's leg so that she could squeeze it to give him reassurance, "Thanks, but no thanks. I have some steri-strip tape in my make-up kit. Do you think that maybe you could just tape me up instead of sticking me with a needle?"

"Sure," he replied, petting her right upper back softly. "But are you sure that'll hold up?"

"Yeah… Well, no… There's also a tube of superglue in there too. If you tape it up then coat it with the glue then it'll be just fine," she explained as she relaxed into the pillows again.

As Sam got up off the bed, he teased her saying, "Now what were you saying about stuff not being used for its intended purpose?"

Toni sat up on the bed with her legs hanging over the end and gathered her hair with her right hand and placed it over her shoulder to keep the wounds on her left shoulder blade uncovered. "Sam, do I seriously have to give a history lesson while I'm bleeding?"

After finding everything that Toni had instructed him to retrieve, Sam made himself comfortable behind her with her body now between his legs. "I think you might just have to," he answered in the hopes that if he kept her talking that it would distract her from feeling any pain while he worked.

"Well… During basic training the family learned that back in the day it was common practice to use super glue because it's faster and easier to glue a gash than it is to sew them up when you're in the field… So really, at one time the inventor did intend it to be used medically, so if you're using it for something else…" She explained calmly, not once reacting to the pain she felt as Sam closed up her wounds.

When he was done, Sam dropped everything in his hands onto the floor then kissed her newly repaired damaged shoulder. Toni leaned back onto him and rested her head to one side so that Sam could have access to her neck. Then suddenly and without warning, Toni turned her body to face Sam, which placed too much empty space between them for Sam to off any other comforting touches.

Toni quirked an eyebrow and nodded for Sam to shift over so that he would be seated against the headboard. Sam obliged without any verbal protests, but the look on his face proved that her actions did in fact confuse him somewhat.

"Now Sam…" Toni stated as she got onto all fours and started to crawl up the bed towards him. "You know what else this little experience has proven to us, right?"

Sam's face softened, but he simply shook his head to answer her question. She wagged a finger as she continued her slow crawl up his legs and then made herself comfortable in his lap.

"It means that you, my friend, have lost the privilege of being on top," she continued seductively into his ear as her right hand reached down and started to stroke him to ensure that he would be fully hard in no time.

"Oh does it now?" He questioned into her ear as he wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Yes it does. Remember what I told you before; it's a privilege, not a right. If you draw blood, then I'm sorry, but the privilege will just have to be revoked," she elaborated as she slowly lowered herself onto his length.

She started to rock her hips in a slower pace than before as she gripped the headboard in anticipation. Sam let her take the lead, but didn't make any attempts to move or to join in. Toni continued somewhat enthusiastically by not only rolling her hips, but by also lifting her weight up and down off of Sam.

When her attempts to engage him seemed to fail, Toni stopped then looked down at Sam and through bated breath asked, "Sam? What's wrong?"

He lowered his right hand to reach under his hip and pulled something out from under it. Then he showed it to her and answered, "Sorry, I was sitting on a roll of tape."

Toni laughed into his mouth as she kissed him and then Sam threw the offending tape across the room. He wrapped his arms around her torso so that he could thrust deeper into her. Toni was thankful that she was already holding onto the headboard so that she didn't lose her balance once Sam joined in. Then they set another bruising pace as Toni matched Sam's thrust for thrust until they both stumbled over the edge into complete euphoria.

Toni held onto Sam tightly and continued to rock gently on Sam's lap until she felt him soften completely. When she was convinced that they were both completely satisfied, Toni scooted back off of his lap onto the bed between his legs. They stared at each other, smiling stupidly, as they panted in an effort to catch their breath.

As Sam pushed back her sweaty hair out of her face, Toni smiled slyly and commented, "See… Just because the sex is beyond amazing, doesn't mean that anyone needs to bleed."

Sam chuckled and pulled her into another kiss before just holding her tightly. Toni repositioned herself so that her legs were now draped across Sam's lap and was amazed that she could do so without interrupting their embrace. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his slowing heartbeat as her breathing steadied, but her heart continued to race.

"God I missed this… You…" Toni blurted out as she hugged him and yawned loudly.

Sam kept her close then laid down on the bed with Toni in his arms. He watched her intently as he gently placed her head on her pillow and quietly teased, "Oh really?"

She now had her eyes closed as she nodded and quietly replied, "Loved being with you."

Sam continued to laugh softly as he tucked her into bed. He sat on top of the comforter after pulling on his boxers and t-shirt to watch Toni as she slept to make sure that she was in deed resting. Toni pulled the blanket close to her chin, curled into herself and continued into a deep slumber. He knew that once she had managed to get into a deep sleep that he wouldn't have to worry as much about her waking unless there was something fairly serious that was wrong, so he moved over to the table in search of his next hunt.

Now that Jimmy Medina was dead, Sam decided that Toni's research could be discarded and he worked at bundling it up first. On their way to Mississippi, Sam had started to look over all of the information that Toni had gathered, but he had been so intrigued by the story of Jimmy Medina that he hadn't ventured past his Missing Person's file. This made finding a case file with details of deaths from Mobile, AL somewhat unsettling.

In this folder, he found information about five women who had been murdered in the span of three nights with no suspects or witnesses. After reading over a couple of articles from the 'Press-Register', Sam whipped around to face Toni, but stopped himself just before he shouted out his questions to the sleeping woman.

 _No, wait until morning_ , he told himself. Instead of starting his interrogation, Sam pulled out a pen and started to write down his list of questions so that he would have them on hand when Toni woke up.


	11. But It's a Weight Above Me

Now that Jimmy Medina was dead, Sam decided that Toni's research could be discarded and he worked at bundling it up first. On their way to Mississippi, Sam had started to look over all of the information that Toni had gathered, but he had been so intrigued by the story of Jimmy Medina that he hadn't ventured past his Missing Person's file. This made finding a case file with details of deaths from Mobile, AL somewhat unsettling.

In this folder, he found information about five women who had been murdered in the span of three nights with no suspects or witnesses. After reading over a couple of articles from the 'Press-Register', Sam whipped around to face Toni, but stopped himself just before he shouted out his questions to the sleeping woman.

 _No, wait until morning_ , he told himself. Instead of starting his interrogation, Sam pulled out a pen and started to write down his list of questions so that he would have them on hand when Toni woke up.

He continued looking over everything in her folders and pulled up the website for the 'Press-Register' to look for any recent articles about any animal attacks that may have happened in the last week. When his searches, using a wide variety of combinations of key words, turned up nothing, Sam typed up a quick email to Toby. He outlined (as delicately as possible) the details about their theories regarding Valerie Stowe and Jimmy Medina's reasons for turning in an effort to guide his nephew to a path to find this werewolf.

While he waited for Toby's reply and for Toni to wake up, Sam shifted his attention to other cases that he had been working on prior to meeting up with her. There was never a shortage of ghosts, ghouls and goblins out there for him and Dean to hunt down, so he used this time to organize the wealth of information he had gathered. He wanted to be absolutely certain that he and Dean would have a project to head out to as soon as they reconnected.

Toni woke up laying facedown still completely naked with a satisfied grin on her face. Her activities with Sam from the night before were still fresh in her memory, so she reached over to his side of the bed to pull herself closer to him before she opened her eyes. When her palm hit nothing but the comforter and bed-sheets, Toni opened her eyes and frowned when she confirmed that she was in fact alone on the bed.

She silently rolled onto her side and smiled at seeing Sam seated at the table with his back to the bed. Toni was mildly annoyed when she noticed that he had dressed because one of her favorite things to do was to find new way of exciting Sam's body awake when she had woken up beside him. Since they had been apart for so long, Toni had looked forward to using some of her old tricks on him before moving onto some new ones that she had learned.

Without alerting him to the fact that she was now awake, Toni snuck up behind Sam and wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing his cheek.

"I don't remember giving you permission to put on clothes there soldier," she teased as she rested her chin on his shoulder to read what he had up on his laptop.

His unwavering attention remained on his notes as he flatly replied, "Well it would feel pretty inappropriate to be researching in my birthday suit."

When Sam's focus remained steadfast on his work, Toni scowled. She still wanted to celebrate after killing that murderous beast and couldn't believe he had shifted his focus already. She leaned in and gently nipped his earlobe then as she kissed his temple and along his cheek and jawline, she maneuvered herself around until she was seated straddling his lap. Sam shifted slightly so that he could finish reading the article on the screen of his computer as Toni tried to work her magic with her mouth on his cheeks and neck.

"Sam… Stop… reading…" She instructed between kisses as she tried to find his hands to wrap them around her naked torso.

He let his right hand wander up to her left shoulder and he rubbed soft circles over it. "Toni… Toni… Toni…" He protested with a little more force on each word until she stopped trying to divert his attention by kissing him and sat up straight.

She crossed her arms over her chest, looked down at him with an annoyed pout and Sam sternly asked, "Why didn't you tell me that there was another werewolf in Alabama?"

Toni rolled her eyes, half turned her body to close his laptop and replied dismissively, "Oh that? Don't worry about that Sam, we took care of it." She held his face to kiss his lips and then tried to find the spot she thought that she remembered was his 'sweet spot' on his neck by working over his exposed flesh with her lips, teeth and tongue.

"Toni… Come on… I'm serious. I read those articles you found," he continued as he held her shoulders and gently pushed her back. "Now if there's another one out there, we need to find it."

Seeing the thoroughly pissed off look on Sam's face caused Toni to finally admit defeat… For now. So she stood up and walked over to her briefcase. Sam finally took the opportunity her lack of clothing afforded and drank in the image of her near perfect figure. She had a few prominent scars on her back, thighs and arms that hadn't been there when they were together at Stanford and to him they enhanced her undeniable beauty. Toni thought that scars freaked guys out, but for Sam there was nothing sexier than a woman that could take care of herself in any type of altercation.

Toni plucked out a manila file folder form her briefcase, intentionally lingering while she was bent over so that Sam could have a great view of her body. Then she sashayed back to him and once again straddled his lap. In a soft, sultry voice as she passed the file to him, she explained, "Like I said, we took care of it. Jimmy and Michelle were in Mobile when the attacks started and were gone when they stopped…" Sam claimed the paper work and Toni again nipped at his neck between her words. "Michelle confirmed it and the M.O. was the exact same as the attacks here in Osyka…"

"Huh… Yeah that looks about right," Sam begrudgingly conceded.

Toni sat back and smirked smugly while taking the folder back and dropped it to the floor. "And let me guess… No new animal attacks since the last one I noted?"

Sam shook his head silently. Toni slipped her hand through the slit of Sam's boxers and her smirked morphed into a devilish grin. "Did I mention that Michelle also told me that four out of the five victims either attended or worked at the same conference Jimmy was in town for?"

She watched Sam's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed a moan so he could gasp out a, "No."

"So… Trust me? No more big bad wolf for us to hunt?" Toni whispered into his ear as she worked her hand up and down his length.

"And the fifth," Sam questioned breathlessly.

Toni placed a fairly forceful kiss on his lips then replied against them, "Housekeeping staff… At their hotel…"

At that, Sam gripped the back of her head and pushed her mouth flush with his own. Toni gasped with surprise that he was finally joining in before relaxing into the embrace. With his other hand, Sam ceased the motion of her nimble fist in his shorts in order to ensure that he could last a full round and then tapped her buttocks to encourage her to lift up so that he could remove his boxers. She stood and watched as he shimmied out of them, then she tugged on the hem of his shirt and pulled it off his torso. Once his nakedness matched her own, she licked her lips then quirked an approving eyebrow without moving.

"Get over here," Sam commanded in a lust filled tone, pulling her back towards him.

Toni shrieked joyfully as he pulled her onto his lap and she immediately helped him to penetrate her as she made herself comfortable there. She couldn't have kept quiet if she had want to as they both climaxed at roughly the same time. Sam held her close while they came down from their high. While she was still totally lost in a blissful daze, he carried Toni back to the bed.

He laid down with her and she cuddled into his side like she always had in the past. "Guess you weren't kidding when you said that I had lost my privilege of being on top."

Toni snorted in a laugh and lightly slapped his chest before responding, "Sam! It would have been mighty uncomfortable the other way around!"

Sam chuckled a little bit louder then too and kissed the top of her head before settling back on his pillow. He could feel her warm breath on his chest but his thoughts quickly wandered back to the strange disappearances he had read about in Illinois.

She felt his pecks clench, indicating he was deep in thought and she knew there was something serious on his mind. She sighed and asked, "So? What are you wondering now?"

He pulled her close and questioned with a chuckle, "What?"

Toni pushed up off his chest, so she could look down at him and clarified, "There's something else on your mind… I've told you everything about the werewolves, so what else is going on in that head of yours?"

"Oh… Umm… Sorry. I was just thinking about another case that I found in Limestone, Illinois," he responded honestly. He knew that his companion would appreciate that he wasn't trying to hide anything from her.

"Damn… So we really do have to join the real world today? We can't just stay naked in bed for the next twenty four hours?" She retorted without any force before pecking his lips and then she rested her chin on her hands that were folded on his chest. "So… How far into Iowa is Dean's family?"

"Pretty close to the Wisconsin and Illinois borders… Why do you ask?"

"Just trying to figure out the easiest place for me to drop you off to meet Dean, so that you guys can take care of this new case that you apparently found," Toni answered in a tone that would sound 'strangely civil' to anyone that didn't truly know her.

Sam pulled her down into a tight embrace, kissed her forehead and laughed softly saying, "How did I forget all of this about you?"

Toni relaxed onto his chest and deeper into his embrace as she responded in a humorous tone, "I don't know because I'm awesome, right? How could anyone forget me?"

She leaned in and blew a raspberry against his collarbone because she couldn't think of any other way to detach herself from the desire to cling to him right now. He laughed and allowed her to roll away, but he still groaned softly when she got off the bed.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower so you can call Dean and give him the good news that you'll be seeing each other soon," Toni said as she walked towards the open door of the bathroom.

Sam was still smiling and shaking his head when he threw on his boxers and t-shirt once again. Then he searched through the mound of wet clothes and towels for his phone. Before Sam could get overly frustrated at the difficultly he was having in finding his cell, it mercifully started to ring.

"Hello? Oh… Hey Samuel… Yeah, actually I found that too… Umm… Probably the day after tomorrow… No, I've been working a case in Mississippi. Yeah. No, don't worry, I'm all over it."

He had barely hung up after speaking with his grandfather when he scrolled down to the number he had originally meant to call.

"Hey Toby, is Dean around? Oh… Yeah… Uh huh… Yeah, me too… Whoa, okay… You've gotta slow down there, I haven't had any coffee yet so I can't…"

"Sam! Is there a dry towel in this place?" Toni called out from the now open bathroom door. She hadn't noticed that Sam was on the phone and really hadn't meant to be rude with her off color commentary as she continued. "Not that I mind walking around naked or anything."

"Umm… Uhh… That would be Toni… Yeah, that's her. Just ask Dean to call me when he gets back, okay?" Sam explained while shooting her a mildly exasperated look.

"Oh shit! Sorry, I didn't know you were on the phone," Toni apologized plucking her beach towel off the bed to dry herself off.

Sam smiled and shook his head as he watched her towel dry herself and dress as if he wasn't even there. Toni was a woman who was confident in her own skin and she moved with an ease that proved that fact without ever appearing cocky. Sam had noticed this trait back when they first met. In fact, it was the primary thing that attracted him to her the most and he was happy that it was something that still hadn't changed over the years.

After dressing, Toni pulled her hair into a tight bun and asked, "So? Did you and Dean decide on a place to meet?"

Sam slipped out a change of clothes and picked up a towel from the top of the pile before answering, "No, he wasn't home. After I've showered, I'll try to figure something out."

While he was taking his turn in the washroom, Toni started to pack. She shook out all of the towels from the floor and tossed them onto the unmade bed. She then crudely folded her towel and blanket and placed them into her nearly over stuffed laundry bag before turning her attention to her research.

Sam re-entered the room fully dressed and tossed his wet towel onto the pile Toni had created on the bed. He did a quick survey of the room as he packed his sleepwear into his duffel and smiled to himself because Toni had cleaned up all of his medical supplies and appeared to have everything ready to go. She left out a couple of notebooks along with Sam's laptop, but the rest of her research had been put away. He chuckled that this time it was his turn to sneak up on her while she was engrossed in whatever was on the screen of his laptop.

"So, I was thinking that we could meet Dean just outside of La Salle, Illinois," Toni stated just before Sam was able to wrap his arms around her neck. "That way I can continue on the Interstate so I don't have to stray too far off my route to Madison."

She turned her head and kissed his cheek then softly said, "Sorry, I heard you toss your towel onto the bed."

Sam laughed softly then sat down beside her replying, "Actually I think that's kind of a deal breaker."

Toni's eyes snapped away from the computer screen to Sam's face while he put his fist out to pass her something. "Yeah, I think I'm going to have to ask you for a divorce."

She let out a soft, relieved sigh before she allowed herself to share in his soft laughter. As she reclaimed the wedding band, she half-heartedly joked, "Alright… But you get custody of the children."

Sam watched as Toni slowly removed her ring set and almost hesitantly put them all into their box. She stared at them for a moment before closing the lid and turned her attention back to Sam. He thought that he could see sadness in her eyes, but then she smiled brightly and he realized that he really had no idea what was going on in her mind (Not that it really mattered at the end of the day.)

"So if we share driving duties… Umm… We should be able to get there later tonight… Uhh… If we… You know, don't stop anywhere… Uhh… for too long or anything… You know, so that you can take care of… Umm… Whatever it is that you found in Illinois," Toni reluctantly explained.

With a gentle nod, Sam shut his laptop and placed it in his bag. "Sounds like a plan."

He got up and started bundling all of his bags together without noticing the look on Toni's face. She remained seated at the table starting at the black jewelry box in her hands. He still had his back to her when Sam brought her out of her thoughts asking, "And Madison? Is that where the Colonel is living now?"

"Huh? Oh… Yeah, yeah it is. I figure that I'll take some down time while the shoulder heals with him. I might even work a bit to save up some money before head out anywhere else," she replied with a smile.

Before she could continue or elaborate, Sam's phone rang. He quickly pulled it out then told his brother about Samuel's call and about the job that they had found. It didn't seem like it took too much more to convince Dean to meet him in Illinois. Toni tried her best to keep form eavesdropping, so she decided to load everything into her truck while the Winchester brothers caught up.

"Yeah… I'll call you when we get closer to there. Okay, yeah see ya later."

Toni stayed just outside of their room's door while she waited for Sam to finish his call to ensure that he would have some privacy. He turned towards the table, but closed his mouth and kept from speaking when he realized that Toni wasn't waiting for him there.

"I packed everything up in the truck… did you want to take the first shift driving?" She offered at the door holding her keys out in her hand.

Sam retrieved his laptop bag and stood beside the table while he gave the room a final once over before moving to meet her at the door. Toni wanted to snap at him that when she said she packed 'everything' in the truck, that mean ' **everything** ', but she didn't want to argue with Sam on their last together. So instead she held her tongue and let him go through his regular routine just as he had allowed her to do with her own.

At the door, he held her hand that was holding the keys and asked, "Are you sure? I mean, you've already gone a full day without driving…"

Toni kept her eyes trained on their hands and swallowed hard before attempt to lightheartedly reply, "Yeah, I'm sure. Just consider it part of the divorce settlement." She finally looked up into his eyes to continue, "And a 'Thank you' for helping me. I… I know that I wouldn't have been able to have finished this job without you. You know… Valerie would have…"

Sam squeezed her hand and interrupted saying, "Or you can look at it this way; you probably wouldn't have been attacked in the first place if it wasn't for me."

She gave it a few seconds of thoughtful contemplation before responding in a firm tone, "No… I like it much better with you in the picture, messed up stitches and everything… So, are we ready to head out?"

He released her hand and looked into the room one last time before following her to the truck. He had mapped out the easiest route to Illinois and passed his laptop to Toni so that she could help him navigate the route. The roads were clear, so they were able to make it to the interstate without any delays. Once they were on the freeway, Toni threw in her favorite mix cd and sat back to take in the scenery.

"So, what kind of work will you do in Madison?" Sam asked somewhat flatly without taking his eyes off the road.

Toni shrugged and nonchalantly answered, "Oh, just this and that. One of the Colonel's friends owns a bar and he lets me waitress and stuff there for extra cash, no probing questions asked."

"Sounds like fun."

"Well, not so much… But drunk guys tend to tip really well so it's easy money," she explained with a defensive tone. "Plus if things go downhill with the Colonel then it means that I'll work at night and sleep all day. That way it won't look like I'm purposefully avoiding him or anything."

Sam chuckled softly and reached over to squeeze her knee saying, "Well he did call you this time and you said that that could be a good thing, right?"

She sighed and smiled sadly then squeezed his hand agreeing, "Right… right."

They both sat there in a comfortable silence and allowed the music to fill the space between them. After a few hundred miles, Toni ended up curled up on the bench seat with her head in Sam's lap. Sam draped his coat over her body, more out of habit than necessity, without disturbing her. She slept soundly from the Mississippi/Tennessee border and was brought out of her slumber as they reached Missouri when she felt her phone vibrate.

Toni awoke slowly, but when she noticed that Sam's thigh was playing the role of her pillow, she shot straight up and back to her side of the cab. Before she offered any apologies, she quickly answered her phone while stealing a glance at the clock. "Good afternoon, sir… Yes sir, we're actually just passing…" She paused and shot Sam an imploring look because she realized that she had no idea what State they were in let alone what city they were approaching.

Sam answered by jutting his chin in the direction of the large green sign they were driving past. "Just passing Oak Ridge, sir… Yes sir in Missouri… Well we've made good time sir… 'We'? Oh… Umm… I'm still with Sam, Colonel… No, no sir he won't be joining me on this trip, he's meeting up with his brother Dean in La Salle sir… Yes sir… Of course… Yes, yes I will…. Yes sir… Okay… Yes sir… See you later." She tucked her phone away then turned to Sam and explained in a fairly confused tone, "My dad said to say 'Hi' and that he hopes that the next time I visit that you can come too so that he can… Umm… Thank you for helping me on this job and all."

Sam turned his eyes so that he could see her face and Toni looked completely pale. For a very brief moment he thought that she might actually vomit and was holding her breath to keep that from happening.

"You're using your 'I don't know what the hell is going on' voice," Sam observed.

"Sorry, but I kinda don't… You have to understand a couple of things Sam… First, the Colonel and I NEVER discuss hunting. Second, he has NEVER wanted to meet any of my… uhh… friends, so yeah… I'm it's sort of weirding me out."

"Well, he's reaching out… You're the only family he has left, so you should look at it as a good thing."

"Yeah… I guess you kind of have a point there," she tentatively agreed while still sounding unsure.

"Well don't sound too enthusiastic there Toni," Sam good-naturedly teased. "Why are you letting this bother you so much? Man, you're being such a girl about it."

Toni gave Sam an indignant look before her left arm shot out and punched him in the upper arm retorting, "Shut up Sam! I'm not being a 'girl'. I'm being cautious! The Colonel is acting way out of character, so that could mean something's wrong, right? Right?"

Sam was rubbing his upper arm and just scowled as he kept his eyes on the road. Toni's jaw remained set in an angry frown while she waited for Sam's reply. The song they had been listening to came to and Sam still hadn't made any attempts to reply which enraged Toni even further.

"Well?" She probed heatedly. "FUCK! This is why I don't for the sharing and caring approach. You put yourself out there and you just get…"

"You might have a point," Sam interrupted in a monotone. "But Toni, you shouldn't go there thinking that. Just try to keep positive, okay?"

"Okay," she reluctantly agreed ash she tried to make herself more comfortable. "Is it much farther to La Salle?" She timidly inquired.

"Once we hit St. Louis, it's just a little over 200 miles," Sam civilly replied. He could hear Toni squirming and when he looked over he noticed that she was gripping her stomach uncomfortably. "We've been going non-stop since Mississippi, maybe we should stop for a bite to eat?"

She rolled her head to look over her shoulder. "It wouldn't delay us too much, would it?"

As he eased off the Interstate at the next exit, he chuckled softly and replied, "No, it won't delay us too much. What are you hungry for?"

"It really doesn't matter to me… Whatever you feel like having is fine… Or the first drive-thru you come across would do too."

Her companion remained silent and pulled into the first 'Jack in the Box' he saw. They ordered their food and ate as he navigated them back to the freeway.

"Thanks… I guess I was hungrier than I thought I was… Sam? I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," Toni apologized while lightly rubbing the spot that they both knew would be sporting a sizeable bruise come morning. "And I promise I'll try my best not to think the worst. Really, I'm sorry Sam."

He smirked to himself then said, "Apology accepted." Then he patted his lap and added, "Why don't you get some more rest so that you'll be good to go for the drive to Madison?"

Toni nodded and made herself comfortable under Sam's jacket once again. She didn't fall asleep straight away, but she relished the feeling of peace that washed over her by being so close to Sam again.

After the third song played through to the end and she still hadn't fallen asleep, Toni rolled onto her back so that she could look up at Sam from his lap. "Hey Sam? Do you think…?"

"You're supposed to be sleeping. Now shh… Back to sleep."

She went to finish her thought, but Sam had started to softly stroke her cheek, so she instead let her fatigue overtake her. After what felt like only a few minutes, Toni awoke to the feeling of the pickup stopping.

Before she could say anything or sit up, Sam told her, "Dean should be here any minute."

By the time Toni sat up, they both heard the familiar rumble of the Impala. They got out and Sam opened the container in the box of the truck while Toni gathered all of his belongings from the cab. Dean was out and had the Impala's trunk open by the time Toni had handed Sam his laptop bag and jacket. They then made their way towards Dean hand in hand.

"So, how was Iowa?" Toni asked attempting to be as cordial as possible.

"It's always bittersweet; Love spending time with them, but hate having to leave them," Dean replied without sounding sad.

He took Sam's bags from him and placed them in the trunk. Sam slipped his jacket on, led Toni to the passenger's door and tossed his laptop bag onto the seat. Once his hands were empty, he was quickly wrapped into a warm hug. Dean closed the trunk and was about to make a smart-ass remark, but was silenced when he watched Sam pull Toni into a kiss.

"Say 'Hi' to the Colonel for me. And if it does turn out that something's up with him, give us a call, okay?" Sam said with his forehead resting against Toni's.

"Okay. Good luck in Limestone."

After they separated, Toni looked over the top of the Impala at Dean and said, "Good to see you again Dean. Hopefully we get to work on something together soon."

Dean nodded and simply replied, "Me too."

Sam then squeezed her hand one last time and they all finally parted ways.

Toni hadn't realized how right Sam had been about her resting until she got behind the wheel. She was able to make it to Madison with ease and without feeling any fatigue. When she was just few mile out from her destination, she called her father to ensure that he would be awake when she arrived.

" _Hey Toni! Are you almost here? Great! I'll come out to meet you,"_ he cheerfully replied when he heard her voice.

"Okay… Umm… I'm just about to turn onto your block sir."


	12. And Your Words Are Like Weapons

At the gate of his complex, Toni paused and took in a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She had never heard the Colonel speak in such a jovial tone, especially not with her, so she wanted to stop the butterflies in her stomach from fluttering before seeing him. Once she was sure that she had her emotions in check, she continued down the road.

Her feelings of calm were soon overshadowed by apprehension when she saw her father nervously pacing on the sidewalk. He immediately stopped when he heard her pull up and greeted her with a wide grin.

"Okay Toni, it's just the Colonel. Nothing strange is going on," she coached herself out loud before exiting her vehicle.

As soon as she had her door closed, her dad had her wrapped tightly in his arms.

"Toni! You're here! I missed you!" He quickly released her and looked slightly chagrinned as he worriedly asked, "I'm so sorry… I… I didn't hurt your shoulder at all did I?"

Toni chuckled softly then replied, "No Sir, Sam and Dean patched me up pretty good, so I'm not really feeling any pain now Colonel. Honest, I'm good. I'm just… uh a little tired from the drive and all, you know what I mean, Colonel?"

He cringed ever so slightly, but quickly put on a bright smile and said, "Antonia, please just call me 'Dad'… Now… Let's get your bags and get you all settle. I'm sure you must be exhausted and ready for a good night's sleep."

 _Just call me 'Dad'_ , Toni repeated silently to herself while she watched her father unload her truck and start down the path towards his town house. _Okay, something MUST be up with him. Shit._

She followed him in silence with as sincere a smile as she could muster on her face. He continued straight to her room and placed Toni's bags at the end of the bed. As soon as she got through the front door, Toni instantly noticed that the Colonel had redecorated and now had family photos she had forgotten existed prominently displayed in his hallways and living room.

She gasped quietly at one photo of herself with her mom from the night of her Senior Prom. It was one of only a handful of pictures that she had taken with her mother before her death.

"You looked so beautiful that night," her father commented now that he was standing beside her. "Neither of us wanted to let you out of the house."

"I remember that… Man we look so young… It feels like forever ago."

They both laughed softly until her father said, "Your room is all set up for you." He hugged her again, kissed her forehead and pointed her in the direction of the room he had just exited.

While she was still in his arms and before he could say anything else, she whispered, "Christo."

His soft laughter turned into a rather loud chuckle before he replied, "Angel, I'm not possessed… But you've had a long day, so we can hash it all out tomorrow, okay? How do crêpes and fresh fruit sound for breakfast?"

"That's my favorite… It sounds perfect, thanks Col… Thanks dad," she somewhat hoarsely replied.

"Good, good. Sleep tight Toni."

He turned and left her standing in the hallway as he made his way to his room. Toni lingered there then stopped to admire each photo for a minute or two after she finally started moving. By the time she made it to the guest room, she was almost completely lost in her memories. She turned on the light and stood in a stunned silence at the changes her father had made in this room as well. He had set up a small study for her in one corner with practically every book on the supernatural that she had accumulated, with a few shelves to spare along with a brand new desktop computer. After staring at the bookshelves, she then took in the fact that this wasn't the same room that she had been staying in during her previous visits. He had exchanged everything from the actual guest room with the contents of the master bedroom so that she now had the room with the en suite.

She drifted towards the bathroom and laughed after she turned on the light because he had tried his best to set up this room as well. There was a brand new razor (surprisingly it was in fact the same brand she currently used) and tooth brush still in their packaging on the counter, new bottles of her favorite shampoo and conditioner in the shower and a basket that was over flowing with bath gels and lotions on the other side of the counter as well.

 _Well he's reaching out… You're the only family has left, so you should look at this as a good thing,_ echoed in the back of her mind as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. _He's trying, so should you Toni._

She woke up the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and something that was cooking or baking that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Out of habit, she dressed in a pair of yoga pants, sports bra and long sleeve shirt. She exited her room while pulling her hair into a ponytail and met her father in the kitchen. He was preoccupied, tending to something that smelled incredibly good on the stove. Toni helped herself to a few blackberries from a bowl on the counter before pulling out the coffee pot to pour herself a mug.

"Toni!" The Colonel excitedly exclaimed when he heard her moving behind him. "Sorry… Did I wake you? Did you sleep well? Are you hungry?"

She finished pouring her coffee, took a large gulp and then humorously answered, "No, yes and most definitely!"

"Okay, good. Now sit, sit. Make yourself comfortable and I'll get you a plateful."

"Col… I mean, Dad, everything smells wonderful. When did you learn to make crêpes?"

He placed a plate in front of her, one at his place and other with extra crêpes in the center and smiled brightly. "Let's see… It would be one month, one week and three days ago."

He then sat and watched as she started to dig into her meal with a large grin on his face. After she had made her way through two helpings (and was started on her third), her father tentatively started, "Antonia… Sweetheart… Can we talk?"

She stopped mid-bite, placed her fork on her plate and took a large gulp of coffee to clear her mouth. "Yes sir, of course we can," she answered just over a whisper.

"Okay… Here goes. Toni, I'm sure that you've noticed a lot of changes around here since the last time you visited (she nodded but remained silent). Well, I've been taking steps to make some changes in my life… Twelve steps to be exact…" He paused to give her a chance to let it all sink in.

She was scowling in thoughtful contemplation as she quietly commented, "You're an alcoholic." She didn't pose it as a question because she already knew it was true, but she was still stunned that he was finally admitting it to her.

"Yes I am. But, I haven't touched a drink in three months, two weeks and four days. I even checked myself into a facility and have made a commitment to not be that man anymore. And not only that, Antonia, I've made a resolve to be better to you… To make up for all of the time we lost during your childhood," he explained while taking her hand in his across the table.

Toni looked up at him and felt completely confused. "During my childhood? I… I don't think I follow."

"Antonia… Toni, one of the things I discussed with my counselor was how I had raised you… It really wasn't fair to you that I treated you like you were your brothers or one of the soldiers under my command. You're my daughter and I tried denying that fact from day one because I didn't know how to raise a little girl. For instance, your name… Your mother wanted to choose a girl's name along with a boy's name so that we would be prepared, but I refused… I picked out 'Anthony' and I was adamant that that was going to be your name, no matter what. Your mom… She had to go behind my back to change it and feminize it…"

"Sir… I have to respectively disagree," Toni countered with gentle firmness. "Mom used to say that I was 'special' because I was the first girl to be born into the family in seven generations because everyone else, including her, had to marry into the family… But that always made me feel really uncomfortable… I… I kind of preferred being treated the same as Alexander and William, Sir." They sat and stared at each other for a bit and her father looked very uncertain, so Toni added, "I would never have been strong enough to do this job if you hadn't of raised me the way you did."

After that statement he smiled gratefully, but still remained silent.

"And Sir? I hope you don't mind me still calling you 'Colonel' because… Well, Sir, I started that because I knew that it would make everyone else jealous."

"Pardon?"

"Well, Sir… None of my friend's parents held a position of such high esteem and it made me proud," she sheepishly admitted. "I know it's not the most mature thing to do, but I liked the feeling of superiority that came with it."

"Oh… I thought you did it to keep things between us… Umm… Impersonal," he stated softly.

"No Sir, I was trying to show you how much I respected you." She swallowed hard and after another moment she smirked and said, "And what's so wrong with my name? I think I make a perfect 'Toni'."

Her dad got up, walked over to her, kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly. "I do too Angel, I do too."

"So all of this… The room, the photos? It's all a part of you trying to make amends?" She questioned once he was seated again.

"I know it isn't much, but yes, yes it is," he replied with an unsure tone. "After talking with some of the other patients, I realized that your mom and I didn't really nurture you three the same way that other families do with their children. We moved from base to base so frequently that you were barely able to make any friends at all and you had no real home per se… And we never just sat and talked as a family about… Well, you know talked about anything really."

"Dad? Are you trying to apologize for my upbringing?" She questioned trying not to cry when she saw a glisten of tears in his eyes as he nodded softly. This time it was Toni's turn to get up, but instead of hugging him, she pulled a chair up beside him so that they were face to face. She then took both of his hands in hers and stated without wavering, "Colonel… Dad… Sir, All of those experiences, good, bad or indifferent, they all helped to make me the woman I am today. Yeah, there have been some weird twists and turns along the way, but how many people can say that they're genuinely happy? Because, I promise you Sir, I really am. I've never needed that 'normal life' everyone else tries to attain because you and mom showed me that you just need to make the best of what is given to you. So, please, please don't say that you and mom did anything wrong, okay? I personally wouldn't change any of it if I was given the chance. I love you Colonel, I really do. I probably should have told you that before now."

He pulled her close and whispered, "I love you too Antonia… And thank you. You have no idea what a relief it is to hear that from you."

It was weird for Toni to be that open and honest with her father, but she could tell that he needed that from her right now, so she was happy to oblige. Of course, she wasn't used to it and she quickly started to feel somewhat uneasy. They sat with a silence that hovered between comfortable and uncomfortable in the air while they both picked at the fruits and berries on a platter in the center of the table.

"So… I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I have to leave for a bit," Toni finally said to break the silence. He threw her a nervous, worried look, so she elaborated. "I was in my truck for just shy of 20 hours yesterday and my body is begging for some activity… Plus I skipped my morning run yesterday, so…"

"Oh!" He happily responded. "Of course! Well, you know the grounds and I'll be here… But your key is on the hook by the door."

"Okay, thanks." She got up and started for the door, but suddenly stopped and turned back to ask, "Dad? We're okay, right? You didn't need… Want to talk about anything else, did you?"

He smiled and looked genuinely happy as he replied, "No Angel, we're good. There is something I wanted to get your opinion on, but it can wait until you get back."

"You're sure?"

"Affirmative. Now go, enjoy your run," he confirmed. To prove this to her, he got up and started to clear the table, so Toni continued outside for her morning cardio workout. She was thankful that she didn't run into many people that knew her well, so she could get by with just a polite smile and wave without having to stop and chat for a long time. She was still reeling slightly from the discussion that she had had with her father and really needed this time to sort everything out in her mind.

By the time she got back to his townhouse, she was feeling better about the situation. In fact, if she was to be honest with herself, she could actually say that she was feeling quite relieved. The kitchen table had been cleared, but was now covered with file folders, note pads and books from her library. Toni briefly looked them over, but the need for a hot shower over-powered her curiosity.

After she had showered and changed, Toni pulled out her laundry bag and was reminded that she desperately needed to do a load… Or five because she was running low on clothing, period. Her father had made himself comfortable in his armchair in the living room with a good book. He watched as she moved to the small laundry room and chuckled when the overstuffed bag nearly exploded in the hallway after she made it down the stairs.

Toni cursed under her breath at the mess she made, but quickly worked to separate some of her blood encrusted articles of clothing so she could soak them in cold water. Once she had one load in the washer, she tried to contain her mess as much as possible in the laundry bag. She was still grumbling quietly to herself when she overheard her father's laughter.

"Toni, don't worry about the mess. It won't be in our way, just leave it there," he called out from his spot.

She turned around and smiled somewhat guiltily as she walked into the living room. "Thanks Dad. It's been a while since I've had a chance to hit up a Laundromat."

She flopped down on the couch beside her father's easy chair and caught a quick glimpse at the book in his hand. "Umm… Dad? What are you reading?"

"Oh, this? It's just a little light reading, nothing important," he replied trying to hide his embarrassment by covering it up on his lap.

Toni attempted to hold back, but suddenly she was plucking the book out of his grasp and laughed a little too loudly. "Are you reading a 'Supernatural' novel?"

"No… Umm… Actually I'm re-reading it," he said in a slightly defensive tone.

"Re- Dad? Have you read this before? Wait! Have you read the whole series?"

"Well… Yeah. The counselor I worked with said that I should try to learn more about your interests so that I can share in them with you. The last time we talked, you mentioned this series and it sounded like you really enjoyed them, so I figured it would be a good place to start to learn about everything you were doing. I was hoping they would help to create a bridge between us."

She leaned over and hugged him while dropping the book back in his lap. "Colonel, that is so sweet. Did you like them? The books I mean… And what did you think of the main characters? The two brothers I mean."

He placed his bookmark at the page he thought he was at when Toni joined him and answered, "I've found them quite informative actually. There have been some nights when I've had some issues sleeping because I've been worrying about the things that you're fighting, but after reading about how the brothers have fought them I've been reassured that you can too. Luckily, Andrea usually called you to give you an update after those nights so that I have confirmation that you're okay." He had gotten up and walked towards the kitchen. "And before you get upset with her for not being truthful, I asked her not to tell you about my being in rehab because I wanted to surprise you."

Toni smiled and nodded as she took that her dad was passing her.

"Now this one, 'Home', it kind of got me thinking about as few strange things that have been happening here."

She quickly glanced at the pages in the folder and skimmed through its contents. Her father had been as meticulous as herself and she momentarily got lost in his research.

"You think that the common room here is haunted?" She asked finally making eye contact with him.

"Yeah. All of the signs are nearly identical to what happened to that poor single mother the brothers helped in their childhood home," he explained with a large grin on his face while holding the novel up to show Toni. "Now I bought one of these, but I haven't been able to find anything. I was hoping that you would be able to help me with that."

The Colonel was holding out a black, rectangular object and Toni took it saying, "An EMF meter? Really Colonel, you bought an EMF meter?"

"Yes I did. But like I said, I haven't been able to find anything with it," he answered somewhat defensively.

"Hmm… All of your notes… It looks like you've gone in there just after lunch and never any later than 7pm?" Toni clarified.

"Affirmative… Does that make a difference? Did I do something wrong?" He asked feeling slightly dejected.

Toni offered him an encouraging smile and said, "No, not 'wrong', but… Well you've read 'Asylum', right?" After he nodded she smiled coyly and continued, "Well I believe that Dean described it perfectly, 'The freaks come out at night.' We should do some recon tonight, maybe do a sweep of the grounds and then go from there."

He sighed audibly with relief and smiled a bit easier. "Oh, okay. What do we do until then?"

"Well I have another 20 loads of laundry to do and it looks like there's a ton of research here that I have to familiarize myself with," she half-heartedly teased. When she saw the anxious look on her dad's face, Toni quickly added in a more sympathetic tone, "We basically just have to wait it out, Dad. Normally we would be doing research, but you've taken care of that and we can't make the hours to tick by any faster. Maybe you and I could take this time to… Umm… Catch up?"

"I'd like that, a lot… So you asked about the brothers? Well they both have their good and their bad points, but at the end of the day Carver Edlund has written them fairly well. The characters have been developed quite thoroughly during the series and have a complexity that most series are missing. Like Dean… He appears to only be all about the job, but in 'Dream a Little Dream', we see that he actually dreams about being a father one day."

He paused when he heard Toni snort back a laugh and saw her biting her lip. "Was it something I said Antonia?"

"Sorry Dad, but yeah it was… Uhh there's something I need to tell you. You know Sam? The guy that I just worked this last case with? The one that I befriended at Sanford?" He nodded with an unsure look on his face. "Well… His brother's name is Dean… His mother, Mary, she died in a fire when he was a baby… His father, John, raised them to be hunters… Of the supernatural that is… And his girlfriend, Jessica, died in a fire at Stanford…"

She swallowed uncomfortably while she monitored her father's reaction. He absentmindedly flipped through the pages of the book in his hands as if they held the key to what was on his mind and then he turned his attention back to his daughter, asking in a perplexed tone, "But you said that your 'Sam' was going to be meeting up with his brother. How is that even possible? I mean, how could he meet up with a dead man?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I really don't understand your question."

Before clarifying, the Colonel hurried into Toni's room. After he re-entered the living room, he handed her a book entitled 'No Rest for the Wicked' then said, "At the end of this book… Well the end of the series, Dean goes to hell because he made a deal with a cross-roads demon to resurrect Sam."

"Wait! What? Sam died?" Toni questioned with genuine surprise.

"Yeah, but like I said, Dean made a deal to bring him back. Just like John made a deal with the demon that killed Mary and Jessica to save Dean," he explained as if she should already know all of this information.

"Whoa… Okay, this is a lot to take in all at once Dad. Sam didn't tell me all of that… I mean about Dean and all, but I did know about John… Shit, I guess I really should read the books, but first let's deal with your ghost here, okay?"

"Sure… Sure, sounds good. But, Toni would you do me a favor?" He asked as he passed her more of his research.

"Of course you can dad. What can I do for you?"

"Umm… When you see or talk to Sam again… Could you ask him how Dean got out of Hell? I mean, I was really hoping that he would and it's really good to hear that he got out, but since they stopped publishing the books there's… Umm… No way for us to know what happened, but you seem to have an 'in' with Sam and all…"

Toni didn't even attempt to suppress her laughter before responding. "Sure Colonel, I would be more than happy to do that for you… Now, how about we focus on the case at hand?"

Her dad nodded and was still smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. She easily made it through all of his research and was mildly frustrated that they had no definite suspects. This had been a retirement village for nearly thirty years, so dozens of ex-Military men and women had passed away here. She smiled and felt relieved when she reached the second folder because her dad had methodically researched any deaths that appeared to be suspicious or violent.

"Colonel? Uhh… Dad?"

"Yes Toni?"

"Before we do anything else, can I just say that this is one of the most thoroughly researched cases I've ever worked on?" She praised hoping to keep their relationship building streak on a roll.

"Thanks Angel. Now this one here, it has a list of all of their grave sites… I thought it would help to know once we figure out who it is that is our target."

"Perfect. Hopefully we'll have it pinned down after we check out the Common Room tonight. Now, we're going to be at this really late and I don't know about you, but I think I'll grab a nap to prepare," Toni commented hoping her dad would follow her lead.

"Oh, yeah that's a really good idea," he agreed as he bundled everything up. Before Toni could turn away, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you for helping me Toni. I know we weren't a 'huggy' family, but I really want to make some changes with you from here on out… If that's alright with you."

Toni squeezed her dad's torso then replied, "It's definitely more than alright with me."

                                                                                                **************************************************

On their way to the Common Room, Toni and her dad went over a rough game plan for them to complete their search. She handed her Dad one of her iron knives and explained how iron and salt were their best defense if the ghost (or ghosts) decided to manifest themselves tonight. He in turn gently reminded her that he already knew all of that, but thanked her for lending him the knife.

They then parted ways and after two hours, the EMF still hadn't spiked, nor was there the slightest hint of any apparitions. Toni could feel herself getting overly frustrated, so she found a quiet spot to sit down on the floor so that she could close her eyes while she took stock of the situation and tired to refocus her energy. She was starting to feel like this was more of a wild goose chase than an actual hunt, but she didn't want to discredit her dad's hard work too quickly.

She was just about to go and find her Dad to suggest a new approach for the following night when she was stopped by a scratching sound off to her left. She moved soundlessly towards the door of the room she thought that the sound originated from and steadied her breathing the best she could. She held out the EMF meter, excited that she might have some good news for her father, but it barely registered any change.

"What the hell?" She whispered to herself when she felt something brush up against her leg. Toni held her breath as she flipped on her flashlight and jumped when the little brown mouse that was on her foot scurried away.

"Shit," Toni muttered once she started piecing together a new theory.

She slipped into the room, which she quickly recognized as the utility closet. She swept her flashlight over the floor and walls and easily found the breaker box for the building along with some other unexpected surprises.

"SHIT!" She repeated and then laughed because that was the crudest way that she could describe the scene with all of the evidence of a mouse infestation that she just found.

Toni took a moment before continuing to the breaker box because she was still clinging to the hope that there was a supernatural explanation for everything that was happening. Once she got there, her suspicions were confirmed and she finally admitted defeat to herself. When she left the room she didn't worry too much about the amount of noise she made because she knew there was really no reason to be cautious anymore. In the main portion of the game room, she begrudgingly lifted the index and middle fingers of both hands to her mouth and issued two quick whistles, which was the pre-approved signal for them to head to their rendezvous point.

With each step that she took, she felt a little bit more disheartened. This feeling became even more unbearable as she approached her father because she could see that he was nearly bouncing with anticipation.

"So you found something?" He asked excitedly.

"Yeah D, I did," Toni replied feeling like she might cry because she felt like her heart might break. "Umm… Dad? First let me remind you that your research was… Umm… It was some of the best that I've ever seen… It reminded me of my own case files."

"Okay, thank you for the compliment, but what's the bad news?" he questioned taking her by the hand and stopping her on the path.

"The bad news? Umm… It's not a ghost, Sir. The place is infested with mice, so the scratching you've heard was actually just them creating their nests."

"But what about the flickering of the lights," He asked sounding very small.

"Umm… Well... At the breaker box I found a fried rat. My best guess would be that it shorted out the lights when it was chewing through the wire and met its untimely death."

"Really? So, that's it then?" He asked sadly.

"Really. I'm so sorry Dad; I wish I had better news. But seriously, you should have someone look at that breaker box; it's kind of a fire hazard. I wouldn't want to see this place go up in smoke on you," she attempted to joke to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but before talking to an electrician, I think I'll call an exterminator. There's no way on God's green Earth that I'm going to the social next week knowing that those damn things could be contaminating the food," he replied matching her joking tone.

By this time they had made it back to her father's townhouse and they both paused before moving to open the door. Toni unexpectedly turned and pulled her father into a hug and quietly said, "I'm so sorry. I really wanted it to be a ghost, Colonel."

He gently pet the back of her head replying, "Me too Angel, me too. But thank you for your help; at least we know the truth now. Okay, it's late and I'm exhausted, I say we call it a night, alright?"

Toni stepped back and nodded while biting her lip. Once inside they both quickly retreated to their rooms without another word spoken.


	13. But You Keep Them Inside

The next morning Toni woke up before her father and tried her best to keep the noise to a minimum while she started breakfast. As she pulled out a carton of eggs and a package of bacon, she felt slightly guilty because the day before he father had prepared her favorite breakfast food, but she had no clue what his would be to return the favor today. However, she pushed those feelings to the back of her mind and did her best to make a great meal despite the doubt that gnawed at her subconscious.

Her Dad entered the kitchen just as Toni was plating the bacon and the first batch of scrambled eggs. Without turning around she greeted him saying, "Good morning Colonel. Take a seat at the table and I'll get you your coffee."

He stood there dumbfounded for a moment, but sat down without any words of protest. Toni turned and flashed him a bright smile as she placed the two plates full of cooked food on the table. He started to dish his meal while she poured them each a mug of coffee then she found her seat across from him at the table.

"So since last night turned out not to be an actual mission, what would you normally do now?" The Colonel asked after he finished his mouthful of food.

"Well I had planned on calling Paulie to see if he was looking for an extra hand around the bar while I'm in town," she explained digging into her meal.

"Oh? Really?"

Toni looked up and put her fork down before chuckling then adding, "Umm… Yeah. I was hoping to save up a bit before heading out again."

"Are you having money troubles Angel?" He asked sounding quite concerned.

"Well not 'troubles' Sir… It's more along the lines that you don't earn the wage of a FBI agent just because you spend most of you time imitating one, you know? I figured that I could work for a bit until I… Uhh… I mean… We find another job somewhere."

"Oh… Yes, that does make sense," he replied with a half-smile. They continued eating their meals in silence until Toni's dad put his fork down and cleared his throat to regain. "I think I might have an easier solution for you."

"Sorry? I'm not sure that I understand what you mean," she answered, getting up to clear their plates from the table.

"Well your mother and I had put money aside for the three of you for Post-Secondary… Since your brothers enlisted straight out of high school and you went and got yourself that scholarship, none of you needed to use that money. It's just been sitting in the accounts doing nothing but accumulate interest," he explained as he took over the task of cleaning the dishes.

Toni took a step back watching her Dad load the dishwasher completely mystified. When he was done, he turned back to her and chuckled at the startled expression on Toni's face.

"If you would rather call Paulie, then that would be okay too," he offered somewhat sheepishly.

"No… No it's not that Colonel… It's just… Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. Plus it would mean that we could… Umm spend some more time together, right?"

His cheeks rouged slightly and his true intentions clear to his daughter. She took a step forward and gripped his shoulders and smiled warmly at him. After a moment's hesitation, she pulled him into a tight hug whispering, "Thank you Sir."

"I'll go get my laptop. Maybe we can find a job somewhere close to here," she commented with a large grin still on her face.

Toni spent the rest of the day teaching her father about the best way to find a case. For her the first step was to look in the local newspaper, or in this circumstance, look on the websites of various publications for specific keywords or patterns. He looked almost as if he was overwhelmed a couple of times, but he managed to hide that from Toni so that she could continue her lesson.

"And as morbid as it sounds, the best place to start is usually the obits," Toni concluded as she finally looked up from her computer screen. "Dad? Are you still with me?"

The Colonel nodded then slowly refocused his attention on his daughter's face. "No… Yeah, I'm good. It's just… Just… You sounded so much like your mother did when she used to conduct a debrief for all of us… I'm sorry Toni, please continue."

She smiled while blushing slightly and squeezed his knee then hoarsely replied, "That's basically the gist of it. Umm… Here… Why don't you use my laptop? I'm gonna try to fit in a quick run then I'll use the computer in my room, okay?"

Toni's father nodded then settled back comfortably in his armchair with her laptop distractedly saying, "Enjoy your run Angel."

When Toni returned, she found her Dad in practically the exact same spot she had left him. The only difference was that he had pulled out some books from her library and had notepads littering the footstool in front of him. Toni paused at the doorway to the living room, but just laughed to herself then continued to the shower before hunkering down in front of her new computer to start her own research.

After a few hours, she had found a couple of leads, but nothing that appeared to be overly promising. To make matters worse, the best cases seemed to be the ones the farthest away from Wisconsin. Toni cringed thinking that she would have to go clear across the country to help a family from suffering the same fate as her own. Then she had to laugh at irony because this time a month ago, she would have been beyond excited to find a job (or ten) on the West Coast to stay as far away from her father as long as possible.

"Hey there Angel, are you hungry?"

Toni scrubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands nodding as she answered, "Famished."

"Good. I've got lunch made and I think that I might have found something you should see."

She quickly followed her father down the stairs and sat at the table because he had already dished their meals. Toni started to eat straight away, but stopped when she noticed that the Colonel hadn't joined her yet.

"So… I found this article… Is this what you normally look for?" He asked cautiously as he presented her with the open laptop.

Toni pulled it closer to herself and quickly read the story her father had found in the 'Springfield Daily Reader'. When she was finished, she looked up and smiled saying, "Looks like we're headed to Illinois."

The Colonel stopped mid-bite and shook his head replying, "No Toni… I can't… I shouldn't. I don't think that I'm strong enough to go back out into the battlefield just yet."

Toni started to protest but halted her speech when she realized that he was referring to his emotional strength and not his physical strength. He was pointedly not making eye contact, so Toni opted to keep her commentary to herself.

"Okay, but you'll still help me with research, right?" Toni finally asked trying her best to keep him from hearing the tears forming in her voice.

"Of course I will Toni… But first things first, we have to get you ready for this mission."

The Colonel was up and leaving the room before Toni could reply, so she picked up her sandwich and followed his lead. Preparations for the trip were quick, easy and painless, which cause Toni to worry slightly that that meant something really nasty was waiting around the corner for her. Her Dad caught the fearful look in her eye more than once, but reassured her each time that he would still be here and was more than okay with sitting this one out to help in the background. Maybe the next hunt… Maybe then he would be able to stand at her side in battle.

"No seriously Colonel, the roads were clear and it really wasn't that far away from home," Toni assured her father once again as she dumped her bags on a chair in her motel room. "Now you were saying something about a murder?"

Toni could have sworn she should hear the disapproving look on her dad's face about her lying about her driving as he answered, _"Yes I was. There's a dentist sitting in a holding cell right now because he Sweeny Todded a patient. It sounds like it was pretty gruesome Toni."_

"Huh… Well I'm good with blood and guts Sir… What's the address?"

The Colonel passed on both the address to both the Sheriff's and Dentist's office. He explained all of the details he had been able to dig up after calling in a few favors to some old "Army Buddies". As she hung up her phone and found a change of clothes, Toni couldn't help but laugh to herself because she should have known that her Dad's connections would help to make her life easier.

She placed a call to the Sheriff's office on her way to her truck and was subjected to an incredibly awkward conversation with a Deputy about her childhood. Thankfully after the trip down memory lane, he filled Toni in on the details her Dad didn't have from the interrogation of the suspect and his assistance. She of course inquired if she could have a private audience with one or both of them, but he explained that the FBI was in town so he couldn't allow that, but he did promise to get her a copy of everything as soon as possible.

She thanked him and promised to stop by later that day, especially since he seemed excited to see how she had changed over the years. Toni then did a quick search for directions so she could make her way to the dentist's office.

It took a few evasive maneuvers, but soon enough Toni found herself in front of a door covered in yellow crime scene tape. She still hated having to pick a door lock because she knew that wasn't her forte and she severely disliked having to admit she wasn't good at something. Somehow she managed to make quick work of the relatively flimsy lock and gagged at the smell of rotting blood that filled the room.

Toni turned away from the open door to take in a few deep breaths of fresh(ish) air to regain her bearings. After she made her way through the yellow police tape, Toni closed the door as quietly as possible and ensured that it was locked before starting her investigation.

As soon as she turned around, she came face to face with the scene of the crime. Although the sight was quite grotesque, Toni didn't waste any time looking it over. She already knew the what and how of the murder, the question she was hoping to answer right now was 'Why?'. Why would a man that had a stellar reputation in his profession suddenly snap and murder not only a patient, but a close family friend? What could drive a man to do that? With that in mind, she quickly entered his office and sat down at his desk to start going through his drawers.

As she slowly searched through the second drawer she had opened, Toni heard the distinct sound of the lock of the door popping open.

She finally did a check of the room and when she saw that there was no back exit, she cursed quietly, "Shit!"

Since there were no other viable options, Toni slipped off the chair and hid in the small space under the desk. She pressed her face into her knees praying that the sound of the heavy boots wouldn't get any louder. When her prayers went unanswered, she swore to herself silently and held her breath hoping the owner of the boots wouldn't be alerted to her presence.

Toni could hear him riffling through the paperwork on the desk above her head and she chanted to herself _Hurry up and go away_. As the intruder continued his search, he took a step forward and had Toni been paying attention, she would have been able to flinch away… Instead, the toe of a boot kicked her square in the ribs. She managed to stifle her anguished scream, but was soon confronted with the sound of a gun being cocked.

"Alright… Nice and easy… Come on out of there," a gruff, authoritative voice instructed.

She put her hands out first to prove that she was unarmed (well that she wasn't holding a gun at this time). Once her hands were out, she slowly crawled out and away from the man to stand with her back to him.

"Are you aware that it's against the law to enter a crime scene?" He asked in a stern tone.

This time Toni was able to hear his voice better, so she lowered her arms and whipped around to face him saying, "Yeah I am Dean… And it's no less illegal for YOU to be here either."

"Toni? Hey," Dean replied placing his gun back in the small of his back. "I guess I don't have to ask why you're here."

She chuckled then asked nodding towards the desk, "Nope… So find anything interesting?"

"Other than a pretty girl hiding under his desk? Not yet," Dean teased.

Toni walked up to him and playfully punched him in the arm before he could ask, "How about you?"

"Nope, I got interrupted… But wait… Huh… People in this town sure do love their wind instruments."

Dean scowled then followed Toni's gaze to a saxophone sitting on a stand behind the desk. He quickly turned back to the desk and picked up a receipt he had seen and showed it to her.

"Jane had a sticker from here on her calendar," he commented with a quirk of his head.

"Well if we were looking for a connection that's as good a place to start as any," she said as she started out the door. When Dean didn't move, she playfully questioned, "You coming or what Winchester?"

Dean hurried to catch up with her and almost absentmindedly questioned to himself, "Where the hell did Sam find you? And how the hell could he have let you go?"

Once they were out in the hall, Toni shrugged then replied, "Blame it on his youth? So… Where'd you park because I didn't drive here…?"

Still shaking his head in disbelief, Dean silently led the way to his car. After she was seated in the passenger seat, Toni pulled out her laptop, found the directions to "Harry's House of Horns" and then helped Dean to navigate his way there. Although she was carrying her various law enforcement IDs, she let Dean maintain the role of the 'investigator' because she knew that he and Sam had already conducted a few interviews. In a town like this news traveled fast, so the appearance of a third agent could raise suspicions.

As Dean began questioning the store owner, Toni wandered deeper into the store to see if she could uncover any clues. She drifted from shelf to shelf, not really sure what she was looking for, but she still hoped something of value would catch her eye.

"Do you play?" A man's voice asked behind her while she ran her fingers over the keys of a saxophone.

"Me? No," she replied with a soft, coy laugh. "My high school music teacher offered to pay me to drop her class."

The male salesman laughed, "Oh I see… Is there something I can help you with? Looking for a gift for someone perhaps?"

She turned to face him as she replied, "Actually there is something…" She trailed off when she caught Dean's eye and gave her the 'Let's go' nod. "Umm… But on second thought, he's not much of a musician either. But thanks!"

"New lead?" Toni asked hopefully as she joined Dean outside.

"Maybe. Ever hear of Gabriel's Horn of Truth?"

"Gabriel's…? Like Gabriel the Angel?"

"ARCH-angel," Dean corrected her with a slightly smug tone. "And yeah, that Gabriel."

Toni took out her laptop again thinking that Dean was going to tell her some other information for her to look up, but when he remained silent, she stared at him then asked, "You're being serious, aren't you?"

Dean nodded then stated simply, "Best lead we've gotten so far…"

"Huh… Well there's a library just around the corner. I'll start there and meet up with you guys in a few, alright?" Toni offered still sounding quite surprised.

"Really? Okay sure. We're staying at the 'Homestead' in room 103."

Toni shook her head and smirked prompting Dean to question, "Okay, what's funny about that?"

"I'm in room 220 there. I'll see you back there in a bit."

Even though the library was smaller than most of the ones Toni had visited, she was able to find a lot of information about the mythology of the Horn of Truth. The woman at the help desk was a devote Catholic, so she was more than happy to tell Toni everything she knew about the Archangel and his Horn. Once the hunter had a couple of books with the majority of the information she needed before walking back to the hotel.

Just as she was about to knock on the brother's door, she heard Dean snidely reply, "Right… Well, nice seeing you anyway."

"Dean…" An unfamiliar male's voice nearly implored.

Dean snapped out a curt, "What?"

Toni strained to listen to the conversation, thinking that maybe Sam and Dean were fighting until she heard, "About your brother… I don't know what's wrong with him, but I do want to help. I'll make inquiries."

_Your brother? Something happened to Sam?_

She momentarily lost herself and started knocking rapidly on the door. By the time Dean cracked it open, Toni had once again managed to regain her composure.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I found some helpful resources and got a little over excited for a second," Toni explained as she walked past Dean into the room. As she placed the books on the table, Toni discretely surveyed the room to see with whom Dean was arguing.

"Oh sorry, but umm… Yeah it's… Umm… That's not it," Dean hesitantly explained as he poured himself a drink.

"Okay? And how do you know that? I thought that that was our best lead."

"It was, but Cas just confirmed that it's definitely not Gabriel's horn… Sorry," Dean apologized while diverting his gaze from the scowl on Toni's face.

"Cas? Is that some sort of search engine I'm not aware of?" Toni asked trying to keep her cool and helping herself to a drink.

Dean didn't even attempt to hide his laughter as he finished his last mouthful. "No… Sorry, I forgot that you haven't met him yet. He's… Uhh… A friend of the family. But trust me, if he says that isn't."

Toni joined him at the table and started idly opening and closing the cover of one of the books she had carried in with her.

"So we're back to square one," she stated flatly. "Fuck… You know what?" Dean looked up and gave her a questioning look. "I could really use a drink and some super fatty food to recharge. Since we've got nothing to go on 'til we hear back from Sam, what would you say to grabbing a bite?"

Dean was already on his feet pulling on his jacket as he answered, "You don't have to ask me twice."

"Awesome! Well I saw a bar just down the street from the library. I'll dump these useless books there and then I'll meet you there?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to the library?" Dean offered.

"Thanks, but no… I need to check in with my Dad too, so I can do that on the walk over. Two birds, one stone and all… "

They parted ways at the door to the room and Toni continued towards the library without any hesitation. By the time she met up with Dean. She had been able to get a hold of her Dad, who more than once 'gently' reminded her to ask Dean about how he managed to return to Earth from Hell.

Toni slipped onto a stool beside Dean as he lifted his shot to his mouth saying, "I'd just like freaking truth."

The bartender looked to Toni, but before she could speak Toni quietly said, "I'll just have what he's having."

Dean placed the empty shot glass on the bar finishing his thought, "But I'll settle for another one."

As she poured their drinks, the bartender distractedly said, "Sometimes I think I can't get pregnant 'cause God knows my marriage is a shame… Why'd I say that? I mean, I've been snorting oxy all day… Why'd I say THAT?"

Toni looked between the two of them before knocking back her shot. Dean closed his eyes and then looked at his drink saying, "I'm pretty sure I know."

After one more refill, the bartender placed the bottle on the bar close to Toni mumbling an apology and making a hasty retreat.

Toni took it upon herself to refill their drinks saying, "Well that was weird."

"You don't know the half of it," Dean replied with a loud sigh.

"So Dean? Can I ask you something?"

Dean smirked and thought to himself, _Better than me asking you anything_. "Sure."

"Okay… Umm… Feel free to, you know, tell me to stuff it," Toni continued hesitantly. She knocked back a couple more shots then took a deep breath and blurted out, "My Dad really wants to know how you got out of Hell."

Dean chocked on the liquid in his mouth then hoarsely asked, "What?"

Toni had pick up a napkin from the bar and kept her eyes focused on it as she shredded it. "Well… He's a huge fan of those books about you guys and he even went to a convention…" Her head shot up and she looked at Dean completely chagrinned. "Oh God! Don't tell him I told you that!" She paused to down some more liquid courage before rapidly saying, "But he said that you went to Hell and obviously you're here so you had to get out somehow and… And since they aren't publishing the books anymore, no one knows and… And yeah… So he wanted me to ask you about that…"

Dean stared at his shot while he contemplated how he would explain it to her. Toni continued to tear the napkin on the bar. After a couple of minutes he decided that being honest with her was probably the best route because from what he had seen of her so far, he figured she could handle it.

"Cas… He pulled me out of Hell," he quietly answered. Toni stared at him wide-eyed. "His name is actually 'Castiel' and he's an angel."

"Holy shit! Really? So demons are real… Angels are real… Fuck… Wow…" She exclaimed not attempting to hide her shock.

"Yep," he replied no sure what else to say.

"Wow… Umm… Thanks Dean… I'm not sure that the Colonel will believe me, but that'll be his problem right?"

Toni raised her shot in a toast to Dean and he smiled softly as she finally looked him square in the eyes. He touched his glass to hers then drank it down. Toni kept hers raised and blurted out, "You know… I was so in love with Sam that I would have settled down and had a normal life with him if he asked."

Dean raised his head and turned to face Toni again. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Without saying anything else, she dropped her full shot glass on the bar, pulled out her wallet and threw a few bills down before rushing out of the building.

"Shit… This is going to be interesting."

Toni started back to her room, nearly sprinting the whole way. She couldn't figure out why she had told Dean something that she had barely admitted to herself. She worried that her honest, verbal diarrhea would persist, so she held off calling her Dad again because she was afraid she would tell him the wrong thing and destroy her relationship with him again.

Back in the refuge of her motel room, she pulled out her laptop and started her search for the source of what was going on with a renewed vigor. She made a list of every spell that could be used to compel someone to tell the truth. After that she looked into curses that could do the same.

This new avenue of investigation yielded so many results that she completely lost track of time. When her stomach growled painfully, she grabbed a snack from the fridge and continued her research. Some of the theories she came up with seemed pretty farfetched, but she figured that if angels and demons are real, then who knew what else was, so there was no reason to write anything off just yet.

Other than a couple of bathroom breaks and the one trip to the fridge, Toni's attention never wavered from her computer screen, until she heard a knock at the door.

"Toni? Are you in there?"

She slowly opened the door and quietly said, "Hey Sam… Sorry I kind of got lost in research mode. What's up?"

"Dean and I have another lead… And we've pretty much figured out what we're dealing with and we thought you might want to help."

Toni turned and picked up her jacket answering, "Sure… So what is it?"

As they walked towards the brother's room, Sam explained everything to her; from Corey's obsession with uncovering the truth to the method used to summon Veritas and then finally their hunch about who the pagan god really was.

"So pagan gods are real too?" Toni questioned, completely overwhelmed as she entered their room.

Sam laughed and simply replied, "Yep."

Dean was sitting on his bed looking over some notes, but looked up when Sam and Toni entered. Toni quickly diverted her gaze away from Dean's face as her cheeks turned bright red. Sam had immediately sat down behind his laptop, so he completely missed their exchange.

As Sam started the footage, Toni sat beside him while Dean got up to retrieve a box of doughnuts and his coffee. Toni took one of the pastries that was offered to her and smiled as a silent "Thank you". She had resolved that if she remained silent, then she wouldn't run the risk of saying anything else embarrassing to Dean.

Since the brothers had managed to solve the case without her, Toni decided that she should sit back and watch them to see if she could pick up any tips from them. The Winchesters wanted to get this case solved as soon as possible to ensure Dean's safety, so they continued almost as if Toni wasn't there.

At some point during the night, Toni had curled up on Sam's bed and fallen asleep. When she woke up, Sam was still watching footage of Ashley Frank and Dean was nowhere to be found.

"Shit, Sam what time is it?" Toni asked as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"I dunno… Late?" He replied turning away from the laptop.

Toni sat up and stretched then asked, "So did you find anything?"

Sam shook his head watching Toni very intently as she shifted closer to his side. "Nothing yet… But maybe I've been staring at the screen too long."

Once she was next to him, Sam tucked her hair behind her ear and pulled her into a kiss. Toni reciprocated until she felt Sam's hands run up her back under her shirt and started to unhook her bra. When she felt that, she placed her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back to force him to break the embrace.

"Sam…" She protested as he leaned in and kissed her neck.

"What? Dean's gone to get food, so he'll be a while," Sam countered as he continued to nip at her neck and collarbone.

"Sam… Come on… Stop… Please?" She attempted to cease his embraces without adding much force to her tone. "We still have a lot of work to do…"

Sam sat back and scowled. "So when I was trying to do research in Mississippi, it was fine for you to seduce me, but I'm not allowed to do the same?"

Momentarily stunned, Toni sat with her mouth hanging open until she could formulate a reply.

"Okay… First the job was finished back in Mississippi and second… There was no chance of anyone, like your brother, interrupting us."

Toni crossed her arms over her chest and scooted back a bit while she chastised him. Sam easily moved over the space she had created to pull her into another kiss.

"Fine… I'll put a sock on the door handle," he coyly replied gently laying her back down on the bed.

"Sam…" She objected again. "Stop…? Please?"

He completely ignored her words and continued to kiss and bite her flesh while she continued to ask him to stop. His mouth eventually locked onto hers and Sam smiled against her lips once her objections were finally silenced. He trailed his right hand down her body as his kissing became more aggressive. When Toni felt Sam pop the button on her jeans, she planted her hands on his shoulders and shoved him as hard as she could. Once he had released her, she sat up and slapped him with a bruisingly violent force across the face.

"I said 'stop' Sam!" She snapped as she leapt off his bed.

Sam rubbed his cheek as he forced his facial expression to soften. "I'm sorry Toni… I… I don't know what came over me."

"Fine… Whatever… I think it would be best if I go back to my room to look further into this Veritas whatever she is," Toni curtly replied as she made a hasty retreat.

Back at her room she jumped in the shower to try to wrap her head around what had just happened. She could feel that she was going to dwell on the topic, so she tried to refocus her attention on the task at hand. After her usual searches yielded no results for the reporter's home address, she chanced a call to the local sheriff.

All it took was Toni reassuring him that she was close to ending the insanity in his town for the sheriff to search his records for the information she requested. He also gave her his personal cell number just in case she ran into any trouble, which she immediately added to her phone book, even though she hoped it wouldn't have to actually need to use it.

"What does one wear for a BNE?" She mused out loud while she found a change of clothes.

She parked close to the address figuring that she had no need to conceal her vehicle; but that she would probably need it for a hasty escape so closer was better. She found a window at the side of the house that was partially opened and Toni thanked her lucky stars. She hoisted herself up to push it opened enough for her to shimmy through and entered the house as gracefully as she could.

As she made her way through the house, Toni was hit with the realization that she had no idea what she was looking for. All she knew was that she had a lead and in her haste to get the incident with Sam out of her mind, she jumped the gun at the chance to check out Ashley Frank's house.

"Fucking cats," Toni grumbled tripping over another furry critter and nearly falling down a flight of stairs.

"Now that's not polite. You break into their home and then use such vulgar language around them?" The god questioned from her spot behind the human.

Veritas kissed the head of the Tabby she was holding then gently placed it on the ground to let it scurry away. Toni had barely turned towards the god to face her when Veritas flicked her left wrist. That sent Toni flying over the stairs onto the landing below. When her head hit the drywall, Toni was knocked unconscious instantaneously. Veritas snickered thinking to herself, _Finally a moment of quietness._

Toni returned to the conscious world slowly in a dimly lit room. Her arms had been pulled behind her and were bound together with the cord of a lamp somewhat loosely. She moved slowly because she had a headache that hurt so badly that she felt nauseated. She was mildly thankful that her shoulders hadn't lost too much circulation so the only pain she had to work at ignoring was the acute throbbing in her head.

She moved her hands to test the bindings and was surprised at how slack they were. In the back of her mind she hoped that that meant that the god had gotten distracted by the Winchesters and that they knew a way to kill her. It didn't take too much maneuvering until she was able to free herself.

Once she was free, she jumped to her feet and ran to the closed door of the room. In the hallway, she surveyed her surroundings trying to decide which way to go.

"If I was a pagan god, where would I be?" She quietly asked out loud. "Somewhere other than Buttfuck, Illinois, that's for sure."

While she walked, she tried to decide which way she should go. At the top of the stairs, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Her nose picked up the faint scent of blood and decaying flesh, so she figured that that would be the best place to head to next.

It didn't take long for the smell to become stronger and nearly over-powering. Toni tried to prepare herself for any worse case scenarios, but at the door of the room where the odor was coming from, she became frozen in her spot at the sight that awaited her. She had missed the conversation about Veritas and her need for 'tributes', so Toni had no idea that she was actually looking for the room where the god had kept her 'snacks'.

After she recovered, she walked in and passed the body of the reporter and softly called out, "Sam? Dean? Are you still here?"

Just then she heard a loud _THUMP_ causing her to tear off in the direction of that sound. This was turning out to be a truly horrible night for her because she was once again stunned into paralysis. Growing up, her brothers had taught her how to maintain a perfect poker face, but tonight, for some reason, she couldn't focus enough for that knowledge to be put to use.

"Dean! Is Sam okay? What happened?" She finally inquired once she was at the elder Winchester's side.

Dean was struggling to hold up Sam's weight, but didn't have to ask Toni to help because she had already grabbed Sam by the opposite arm.

"Veritas… He scrapped with her while I was trying to cut through the rope she used to tie me up," he lied easily.

"Huh… So I guess the truth does hurt," Toni commented humorously. "Oh shit! I'm sorry! I crack jokes when I'm feeling uncomfortable."

Dean chuckled then dismissively replied, "No need to apologize."

"Okay… Thanks… So, I'll follow you back to the motel then help you get him to your room."

"Perfect. Thanks."


	14. They Cut Like a Knife

Toni followed the taillights of the Impala from the Reporter's house to back to their motel with a little bit of a lead foot. She nearly rear-ended Dean's car when he had to abruptly stopped for a jogger that didn't look or care to check for traffic before continuing through the intersection, so she finally relented and backed off slightly. Once they were back on their way, she cursed out-loud under her breath at the black muscle car because she couldn't figure out why Dean was driving so slowly when Sam was so severely injured. (For the record, Dean was by no means going the posted speed limit; he just backed off from going 30 miles per hour over the limit like Toni kept attempting to do.)

Once they finally made it back to the fairly vacant parking lot, Toni practically abandoned her truck without cutting the engine to run over to the muscle car to help Dean with Sam. Dean was just putting the car into park and was turning the engine off when she grabbed for the rear driver's side door handle. By the time Dean had gotten out of the car, Toni had crawled into the backseat and was doing her best to check Sam's vital signs.

They then struggled slightly with Sam's dead weight, but somehow they did manage to get his large, muscular frame out of the backseat. Dean tried to shoulder the majority of Sam's weight and did so easily because of his somewhat considerable height advantage over Toni.

"Dean… I have a medic's bag in my room… It's filled with the same supplies my brothers used in… in the Army," she announced with a grunt as she held Sam stand upright so that Dean could open the Winchesters' room door.

Dean held off from replying until he had reclaimed his brother from the petite brunette. "Really? That's great because I think I left our First Aid kit out in the Impala. Thanks Toni."

 _Plus that'll give me a chance to call Cas down here,_ he thought to himself.

Once Dean was safely in his room with Sam, Toni literally ran to her room and riffled through her largest piece of luggage until she found the black, aged leather bag that she sought. She had already liberated Sam's key from his pocket while she helped Dean carry Sam to their room so she quietly let herself into their room once she got back there.

Before she could turn around after securing the lock on the door, she heard the same deep voice that she had heard earlier that day saying, "You're right. He looks terrible." Toni pivoted to look at the three males and the man in the trench coat faced Dean asking, "You did this?"

 _Dean! But he said that it was… What the…?_ Toni thought to herself.

Since none of the men had acknowledged her presence, Toni remained silent and sat down on the floor. _Fine! If Dean won't tell me what's really happening then I'll just sit here and listen to everything for myself then,_ she thought to herself defiantly.

'Trenchcoatman' (as Toni dubbed him in her mind) started asking Sam a bunch of questions while checking his pupils at the same time. As Toni heard each one of Sam's responses, she became absolutely stunned into a frightened silence. All three of the men she was watching appeared to remain eerily calm, so she retreated a bit into herself while observing everything from the other side of the room.

 _Sam hasn't slept since he got back? Since he got back from Hell? What the fuck is going on?_ Toni thought forlornly as she pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs to her chest. _But Dean…? He came back from Hell okay, right? Why wouldn't it be the same for Sam?_

Trenchcoatman started unfastening his belt which prompted Sam to mutter, "What? Umm…"

The other male ignored Sam's unease and protests stating flatly, "This will be unpleasant."

Sam started to ask, "What…?" But he was once again interrupted by Trenchcoatman who was placing the leather belt into Sam's mouth with the calm instructions, "Bite down on this. If there's someplace you find soothing, you should go there… In your mind."

Toni watched in horrified fascination as the unknown male rolled up the sleeve on his right arm then gripped Sam's shoulder with his left hand. She couldn't see exactly what was happening because Trenchcoatman's torso obstructed her view, but when she heard Sam's muffled, agonizing scream, she jumped to her feet yelling at the top of her lungs, "SAM! GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU PIECE OF SHIT! STOP! STOP HURTING HIM!"

She tried to run to Sam's aide, but Dean caught her and forcefully ordered, "Toni! Stand down! Stand down! Let Castiel do his thing and I'll explain everything later."

"Cas… Castiel? The angel?" She mumbled in recognition of the significance of the name Dean had attributed to the stranger. Dean nodded firmly, so she whispered repentantly, "Okay. Sorry." The she sat down at the table to once again observe the scene as a silent outsider to witness the interaction between the three males. However, she didn't seem to notice that the majority of the conversation ended up being solely between the angel and the eldest Winchester because her mind was racing with so many of her own unanswered questions.

 _An angel? The guy in the trench coat is an angel? What the hell? And he saved Dean from Hell… Well at least that's what Dean said yesterday… But then again he also said that it was Veritas that beat the shit out of Sam, so did he lie about this Castiel guy too? No… No… Why would he lie about that? Fuck! Why wouldn't he lie Toni? He wasn't your friend… He doesn't know you… Why the fuck would you expect him to be completely honest with you? What have you done to earn that?_ She thought to herself as she glared, unnoticed, at the back of Dean's head.

"You're stuck with the soulless guy, so you might as well work with me."

Sam's voice penetrated her thoughts and Toni's eyes quickly refocused on his face. (She still sat there as none of them were acknowledging her presence and continued their discussion as if she wasn't in the room.)

 _Soulless guy… Soulless… Sam has no soul… What the fuck? But we… And he… What does…? Oh God, I had sex with him… Does that make ME a bad person?_ She thought as the unfamiliar sensation of her stomach clenching nervously threatened to overtake her and make her vomit. _But after I killed Jimmy, Sam… He took care of me, he nursed me back to health, and he made sure that I didn't die from hypothermia. A… A soulless guy wouldn't do that, right? Unless… Oh fuck… No… Was he that nice to me just so that I WOULD sleep with him? No! No! Sam wouldn't… Well MY Sam wouldn't do that, but soulless guy over there… NO! He's the one that convinced me not to think the worst about Dad and then when we met up with Dean… We shared a moment… I didn't imagine that connection between us, did I? He showed me real compassion, he cared… Fuck! Am I going crazy?_

"I don't know. You have no memory of your resurrection?" The angel questioned solemnly.

Sam shrugged answering, "I woke up in a field. That's all I got."

"No clues? None?" Dean pressed.

"I've got one," Sam finally replied as his eyes traveled around the room until they locked with Toni's terror filled eyes. He then looked back to his brother and the angel saying, "Do you think you guys could give the two of us a minute alone before we get into all of that?"

Sam jutted his chin towards the only female in the room forcing the other two males to finally acknowledge her existence. Dean nodded in understanding then gently tugged Castiel's coat sleeve in an attempt to get him to follow him to the door.

"Sure… Sure Sam… I'll just go grab us something to eat. Cas, why don't you help me with that?"

Once they were alone, Sam and Toni sat in complete silence for a few moments, pointedly staring at anything but each other's faces. Sam's patience wore very thin, very quickly, so he confidently raised his head and squared his shoulders with the inward resolve that he could come to some sort of an understanding with Toni, sooner rather than later.

"You went to Hell," she stated softly to her hands in her lap. After that she raised her head, quietly continuing her thought, "And now you're back, but you have no soul? Did I hear that right? Does that mean what I think it means?"

Sam nodded and didn't seem to be bothered or concerned at all by the tears forming in Toni's eyes as he replied with a cold monotone, "Yes, you heard that right."

"So… When you were so sweet to me in Mississippi… Did you… Was it just so that I would have sex with you?" She questioned as her voice started to crack. Sam shook his head, but before he could verbalized a response, Toni jumped in and asked, "And did you give me all of that really nice advice about my relationship with my dad just to make sure that you'd have the prospect of sleeping with me again when we saw each other?"

Sam didn't want to lie to Toni, but when her tears spilled over and down her cheeks, he realized that he couldn't treat her with the indifference that he was feeling. He instead pulled up a chair beside her and tried to think of a way to accomplish his goal. He then took her hands in his and when she didn't shy away from his touch, Sam sighed audibly and all of his muscles relaxed slightly.

"No Toni, I didn't do any of that just to sleep with you. I mean… Sex with you was and always has been beyond amazing, but I didn't DO anything just to have sex with you."

Toni gently pulled back one of her hands and wiped her tears streaking down her cheeks with her sleeve whispering an unsure, "Alright…"

"Look, the truth of the matter is that I really wanted to work that job and the easiest way for me to have done that was to work it with you… Since you and I… Since we have a history together, I figured that you would be expecting to work with the guy that you had met and gotten to know back at school, so I tried my best to remember what it was like… You know, to be him for you. Really, it was just to make sure that we killed the werewolf, nothing else… I wasn't trying to get in your pants or anything."

Toni watched him with a keen eye during his explanation and could tell that he wasn't lying… Or at least he didn't show any of the tell-tale signs of any liar she had spoken to before, so she nodded then said, "Oh… Okay… Umm… Thanks… Thanks for being truthful about that and… You know… Thanks."

They both fell silent again and Sam tried his best not to let his irritation show. Toni dried her cheeks yet again with her sleeve then started to pick at the cuffs of her right sleeve.

"Then… Well… What about tonight? Were you…? I mean did you try to because… Because you don't…?" She tried asking while genuinely sounding very small and unsure for the first time in their relationship.

"No… No Toni," Sam replied softly while cupping her cheek in his palm as if the gesture was completely natural to him. "I just got carried away because I had forgotten how good it could feel to be with you. When we were alone, I just wanted to feel that again… Because I haven't felt like that since I got back and I… I remember really liking how I felt when I was with you at school, in Mississippi… I didn't mean to… I wasn't going to force you to… Really I hadn't meant to scare you or anything at all."

Toni nodded somewhat absentmindedly, but didn't say anything else. Sam's hand moved slowly from her cheek to her hair where he gently raked his fingers through her long, dark locks. As he leaned in and lowered his lips to hers, Toni flinched then jumped to her feet.

"No Sam… I… I can't," she said to her hands. Sam touched her arm and then quietly said, "Okay" so Toni looked into his face. She was desperately hoping that she would catch a glimpse of the man that she had at one time considered to be her closest friend.

Her tears had snuck up on her and started to flow silently as she hoarsely explained through her impending sobs, "I know you didn't mean to, but all of this… It fucking scares the absolute shit out of me. Today you kind of nonchalantly told me that angels, demons, and pagan gods really do exist. That was, to say the least, a little overwhelming, but hey, I figured that I could deal with that… In time… But now? Now you tell me that you went to Hell… Hell… Then you came back to Earth, sans one… one… soul… And then you made… Had sex with me just because it made you feel something that you have a vague memory of liking… I'm sorry, but it's just too much… too much for me to take in all right now…"

When Sam gently touched her arm again, Toni was trembling uncontrollably and her tears started to quickly hit the back of his hand as they dripped off of her chin. He gave her forearm a reassuring squeeze then offered in as sweet a tone as he could muster, "It's alright. You really don't have to explain or be okay with all of this all at once. I know that Dean really isn't and he's been dealing with all that other fucked up shit a lot longer than you have… Don't… don't force yourself to be alright with this because honestly you might never be able to understand it all… Hell some days I'm not sure I get it all really."

Toni smiled sadly and placed her hand over his and nodded more confidently before replying, "I hope that you guys can figure everything out, really I do Sam." She brushed the back of her fingers over his cheekbone while inwardly marveling at how the angel had so easily healed the gashes that Dean had inflicted upon Sam's flesh. "Because you know, I'd really rather introduce my dad to my dearest friend when you're totally and completely yourself. I don't think that he could handle meeting someone that doesn't have a soul, let alone the guy I've been talking up for the last decade, especially with everything that he's been through."

Sam laughed softly then kissed the back of Toni's hand that had been lovingly petting the flesh of his cheek. Despite the seemingly unending flow of tears from her eyes, Toni was able to speak in a fairly steady tone, "I really did miss you so much Sam. Please do take care of yourself, okay?"

Before he could formulate a reply, Toni quickly pecked his lips, grabbed the medic's bag that she had brought with her and slipped out the door. She forced herself not to run down the hall so that she could keep some focus off herself, but she still moved quite rapidly down the hall. Once she rounded the corner farthest from Sam and Dean's room and had ensured that she was completely alone, Toni fell to her knees hard and broke down into choking sobs while gripping the leather bag to her chest. She couldn't explain it, but she knew, she knew deep down inside that her feelings for Sam hadn't changed… Even with the knowledge that there was no way that Sam was the same man that she had fallen in love with so many years ago, her feelings remained steadfast.

 _Oh my God, I still love him,_ she admitted to herself. _But he doesn't… He CAN'T love me back… He can't, not without a soul, right?_

The more she thought about the situation between herself and this form of Sam Winchester, the sicker she started to feel. When the foreign queasy feeling in her stomach threatened to overtake her, Toni silently took control and admonished herself, _Okay Toni, that's enough! You can't change any of what happened between you and Sam, so just stop! STOP! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The job you set out to do is done, so get off your ass, straighten up and let's fucking go! There are a ton of people out in this world that NEED your help, but you have to get over yourself and your stupid petty feelings in order to do that! Understand? Now come on soldier!_

Toni gave herself another short moment on her knees to make sure that she was calm enough to walk before getting up to her feet. Once she was standing, Toni took a deep breath and tried her best to mentally prepare herself so that she could keep her feelings in check. She was so preoccupied with her own thoughts while she was brushing the dirt off her knees that she completely missed hearing the footsteps that were approaching her current location.

"Hey! Toni, are you okay?" Dean quietly inquired once he was standing right beside her and thinking that he was helping her to stand up straight.

Toni shook her head quietly answering, "No…" as she lifted her gaze to look at him and his angel.

When Dean saw Toni's red, blotchy, swollen eyes, he knew that she had been crying, so he didn't bother asking just in case she decided to lie to him about what had happened between her and his supposed little brother. Instead he almost roughly grabbed her shoulders to force her to look at him asking, "Toni! Toni, what did he do to you? I swear if that soulless son of a bitch…"

"What? No… No! Dean… Dean, no… This…?" She started to explain while waving a hand over her face. "This is all me. Sam… He was just brutally honest about everything, especially about what he was feeling right now, and I just… Well… Anyway, I… He may be soulless, but he wasn't a bastard… Well at least not to me."

Castiel stepped over with a thoughtful scowl on his face as he stepped up to Toni's side and touched her shoulder then flatly commented to Dean, "Antonia is speaking the truth Dean. She has been feeling overwhelmed by all of the new information you and your brother have told her and this was just a manifestation of those feelings."

Dean smiled, but it wasn't much easier or more sincere than before because he was still skeptical of this new situation with the woman from his brother's past, but he did back off slightly before he attempted to clarify, "You're sure? Really, Toni, you're okay?"

While shaking her head, Toni replied, "No, I'm not… At least not yet, but I'm sure that once the shock has worn off maybe… Just maybe then I'll be on the road that will lead to the path that is the route to something that vaguely resembles this thing you consider 'okay'."

Toni was smiling so brightly that Dean actually allowed himself to laugh at her unwavering sense of humor. "Well that's good to hear. But Toni? Seriously, if you… You know… If you have questions or anything about all of this or anything else to do with the job, you've got my number, right?"

"Yeah… Yeah I do Dean… Thanks," She nearly whispered in reply.

Dean lifted her chin then light-heartedly said, "Although I'm not as bad as our new Sammy, I don't really need or get much sleep, so if you need to talk, day or night, you just call on me okay? If not, there's Lay or our friend Bobby too… They both know as much, if not more than me. So call, alright? Any questions, we'll lend a hand, I promise."

Toni took in a few quick breaths while feeling overwhelmed by his kindness then calmly answered, "Thanks… Really, thank you so much. This whole monster hunting deal, I think… Sometimes I think I might be a little over my head, so it would be really nice to have someone to talk to that understands… But… For now? I honestly think that I just need some time, you know? It's so much more than I thought was actually out there." Dean nodded then Toni walked up to him and quickly kissed his cheek. "Good luck with everything Dean. I would offer to help but… But I really don't know how I could be of any help right now. Please, please stay safe Dean… Keep Sam safe too?"

Before he could say anything in reply to Toni, she turned to abruptly to walk away. When she caught another glimpse of Dean's companion, Toni muttered a fairly amused "Angels…" as she made her way up the flight of stairs to the second floor.

Back in her room, Toni barely made it to her bed before she passed out with complete exhaustion. In anticipation of working on this job completely on her own, Toni had already prepaid for the room to cover the whole week, so she wasn't in the least bit concerned about sleeping in past check out the next day or being bother by housekeeping. She was spent and beyond exhausted in mind, body and apparently soul (she never knew that that was such a vital part of her being, at least she was never consciously aware of it), so she let her mind succumb absolutely to the fatigue that engulfed her mind. And then for the first time in a long, long time, Toni slept… She slept soundlessly and dreamlessly, which hadn't happened since before she could remember.

When she finally awoke, more than twenty four hours later, Toni rolled over and laughed out loud at the sight that she was met with on the bed. On the pillow that lay beside her head, there was a fairly freshly baked, over-sized muffin sitting on top of a note.

"Oh my… Fuck! He remembered!" She chucked to herself as she plucked the note away without disturbing the pastry that awaited her.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, WE'LL BE LONG GONE… I KNOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY. BUT JUST LIKE I DID BACK THEN, I OWE YOU A FRESH, HOT CUP OF COFFEE BECAUSE I REALLY COULDN'T CHANCE THAT YOU WOULD KNOCK ONE OVER ONTO YOURSELF IN YOUR SLEEP.  
I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS SHIT STORM DEAN AND I HAVE FOUND OURSELVES IN AND I SINCERELY DO HOPE YOU WON'T HATE ME FOREVER BECAUSE OF IT.  
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TONI.  
SAM

Toni sighed heavily as she rolled onto her back and pressed the note to her bosom quietly replying, "There is no way I could ever hate you Sam. I… I love you…"

She then carefully folded the note and placed it inside of her journal before she started to gather all of her belongings in preparation for her departure. After a quick shower, Toni started to nibble into the muffin that Sam had left as their tell-tale peace offering and gave the room a quick once over in order to ensure that she wasn't leaving anything behind in a fit of rage. Even though she had had a deep sleep and was no longer feeling the exhaustion she had felt before, when Toni finally exited the motel en route to her truck, she did so feeling like she still had a heavy heart. Nothing was really resolved between her and Sam, but Toni was still feeling too emotionally schizophrenic to be able to put anything into proper perspective right now, even if the love of her life was still here.

During the drive 'Home' (Toni chuckled more than once at her usage of the word "Home" when her random waitress has asked her where she was headed to in such a hurry during her only lunch break of the trip. Before today, this trip, the answer had always been a vague 'Madison' or 'My dad's place', but at this point in time answering 'Home' felt more than completely natural) Toni was able to put some of her feelings into some semblance of perspective. She still felt more than uneasy about some of the things that she had learned during the past twenty four hours, but her mind never stopped racing during the drive long enough for her to itemize the feelings that were the easiest and the hardest for her to deal with or understand. By the time she reached the gates of the complex of her and her father's home, she had finally wrapped her head around the fact that everything, or practically everything, she had thought had been a myth before the Winchesters told her that they actually were beings that existed.

As she unloaded her bags from the secure box in the box of her truck, Toni quietly laughed to herself softly saying mockingly, "Angels… In suits? Really?"

As Toni made her way up the pathway, her feet unconsciously started to slow down. She finally just stared at the door to her father's townhouse then nervously thought, _Oh God! How am I going to explain all of this to the Colonel? To my DAD? I think that I can handle this, but how? How the hell am I going to explain all that fucked up crap that Sam and Dean told me about to the Colonel? Fuck! I thought that telling him the truth about Dean would be easy, but he knows… Dad knows the truth about my feelings for Sam… So how the hell am I going to put any of this into words to try to describe it to him?_

Toni shuddered slightly and was about to break down into uncontrollable tears again, but she managed to keep herself composed enough that no one noticed her distress as she watched the door of her father's town house open with an almost painful slowness.

"TONI! Angel! You're home already? I thought you were come kind of a solicitor!" The Colonel exclaimed cheerfully as he pulled her into a tight, warm hug.

While her face was pressed against her father's chest, Toni sputtered in a broken breath and then she started to sob uncontrollably. Her father made a couple of attempts to push out of their embrace, but Toni had quickly dropped her bags and had gripped the back of her father's shirt tightly. As she started to cry even harder, she just pressed her face further into his chest. The Colonel was momentarily stunned, but he more than allowed his daughter to cling to him desperately because he knew no other way to deal with this situation.

Once everything finally started to catch up with him (and with a violent force no less), the Colonel stroked the back of his only daughter's neck and back of her head to try to comfort her. As he continued to stroke the length of her hair, he comfortingly stated into her hair as he kissed it saying, "It's okay Angel… Just take your time… Shh…Shh… I'm here my baby girl, Daddy's here… Shh… I'll never leave you Angel so you just let it out… I love you… Shh… Daddy's here… Angel Daddy's here for you..."


	15. And You Keep It Together

By day three, the Colonel was starting to worry about his daughter because she still hadn't made any attempts to leave her room and he still wasn't sure what had happened in Illinois. But despite those worries, he had the distinct feeling in his gut that Toni had taken care of her target, whatever it was. The only thing that kept him from breaking down Toni's bedroom door and dragging her out was that she had actually eaten most of the meals that he had left for her on her nightstand. While she slept, he would sneak in to check on her and could instantly tell that she had been crying practically non-stop since she had returned home.

The thing that worried him even more that any of that was that Toni didn't seem to have the hearty appetite that he had lovingly teased her about the last time that she had visited. Toni had always been able to keep up with her brothers on any playing field and eating wasn't an exception when she was younger and now as an adult she maintained that same pace. But these past four days she had barely made it through half of the helpings that he had dished for her, even though he had unconsciously made her servings smaller than she would have dished herself.

The Colonel stood beside her bed one night and gently petted her hair, careful not to disturb her slumber, thinking sadly to himself, _I really wish you would talk to me about this Toni. If anyone hurt you Angel, you know that your old man would make them pay for it._

The next day her Dad was folding the last load of Toni's clothes that he had completed when he heard the sound of the shower running upstairs. He let out a relieved sigh as he finished his work then he nearly skipped into the kitchen to start preparing breakfast even though it was late afternoon by now. He knew that this was Toni's favorite meal, so he was more than willing to indulge her by making it at any time of the day, so long as it meant that she was leaving her room to enjoy it with him.

While he was slicing fruit and washing the different varieties of berries, he heard the shower turn off, so he ran over to the foot of the stairs in the hopes of offering Toni a warm greeting for the day. As he stood there, he laughed to himself then quietly admonished himself out loud, "Takes more than two seconds for her to get dressed there Tom."

With that in mind, he turned back to the kitchen and started getting all of the crêpes' ingredients together out of the cupboards. As he continued all of the preparations for completing their meal, Toni's dad tried his hardest not to look at the clock, but he was so happy that his daughter was doing so much better that he found it hard not to check it in anticipation of her arrival. After he finished the first batch of crêpes, he finally did allow himself to check how much time had lapsed because the house had fallen deathly quiet and Toni still hadn't emerged from her room.

He once again walked over to the stairs, however this time it was with a much slower pace so that he could double check if she was moving around in her room or not. Her father knew that Toni had most likely dated a few boys when she was a teenager, but he didn't recall her ever reacting to a break-up like this, ever. Then he shook his head sadly at the realization that maybe there was a time or two where she might have, but he had maintained so much distance between them during that part of their lives that he probably wouldn't have noticed even if she had.

"I think it's time to try a different tactic," he quietly ordered himself as he turned and walked back into the kitchen.

At her door, he knocked gently a couple of times and then slowly turned the knob and pushed on the door softly calling out, "Toni? Sweetheart? Are you still awake?"

When he was met only with the sad sound of silence, the Colonel let himself in. At her door, he took a moment to catch his breath because the scene that he was confronted with absolutely broke his heart. Toni was curled up in the fetal position, gripping one of her pillows in an uncomfortably tight death grip against her chest. She was still crying, but the only ways that he could tell that tears were still falling from her eyes was that she was shaking ever so slightly and she had to sniffle in a breath every so often.

"Toni? Angel… Please? Please, can you try to tell me about what happened?" He asked in an anguished tone while he sat down on the bed behind her and stroked her hair sympathetically.

Toni rolled over onto her back and just stared up at her father through her puffy eyes before she rolled the rest of the way towards him. Her forehead hit his thigh with a dull thump and then she raised her head slightly so that she could lay with it more comfortably on his leg. As the Colonel caressed her face and head, Toni just kept crying silently without attempting to speak at all. When he felt her tears soaking the fabric of his pant leg, her Dad opened his mouth to speak again and try to comfort her, but instead he heard, "I'm sorry Colonel… I'm so sorry."

"Toni? What are you apologizing for Sweetheart?" He inquired as he continued to try to console her with his careful, gentle touch.

She leaned back a little so that she could look up at him again and wiped her face on one of the sleeves of her over-sized flannel nightshirt.

"I'm sorry… I know this isn't the proper etiquette of a great soldier… But I just… It's all just so much to take… I just wasn't…"

Toni started to breakdown again and before she had a chance to struggle through the completion of her thought, her Dad pulled her into a hug saying, "Don't apologize Angel. If you need to have a good cry, then you cry." He kissed her head then continued, "But that being said, I really wish that you would tell me about whatever it is that has you so upset. I just want to be able to help you through all of this."

As she took in a few deep breaths to compose herself, Toni overheard the distinct sound of two spoons clanging together. Once she was sitting upright, she couldn't help but give her dad a confused, questioning look.

"I heard somewhere that this is pretty much the best medicine to help someone deal with a broken heart," he explained with a large grin on his face and holding up two spoons along with a pint of ice cream.

Toni laughed as she took one of the spoons he was offering her and said, "Ice cream? But we were never allowed to…"

Her Dad popped the lid off the Häagen-Dazs interrupting her with an amused, "New house means new house rules. Plus I have absolutely no alcohol in the house anymore so I figured this would be the next best thing for you."

Toni dipped her spoon into the container then smiled sadly as she said, "It most definitely is… Thanks Dad."

They both slowly worked away at the frozen treat in complete silence. The Colonel wanted to jump in with some of the thousands of questions that had been running wildly through his mind since the night that his daughter had returned home and passed out crying in his arms, but he waited for her to come to him. With every small bite that she took, Toni's father could see that she was calming down and relaxing somewhat. He tried to keep from staring at her, but he couldn't help himself. He had never, not even once, allowed himself to really look at her while she was growing up and he sincerely hoped that she wouldn't hold that against him now. He knew deep down that she needed him to be a source of comfort for her and his only desire was that after her last visit with him that Toni would allow him to do just that.

"Dad?" She asked as she started to mindlessly stab her spoon into the ice cream. "Are you sure? Are you really sure that you're okay to hear about all of it?"

Before answering her questions, he took Toni's spoon out of her hand then put it with his own and the ice cream on the nightstand on his right. "Toni, you need to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you and I promise that I am more than willing to listen to it… Understand?"

She nodded then shifted on the bed and took a deep breath. "Well… For starters… I know how Dean managed to get out of Hell…"

"Really?" He inadvertently interrupted because he was completely unable to hide his excitement.

"Yeah… But before I get into that… Umm… Well… I know that we went to services at the base's chapel whenever we could as a family and never missed going for any of the holidays when I was a kid… But… Umm… Do you…? Do you actually believe in God and Angels and Heaven and all of that?"

The Colonel held Toni's hand then smiled confidently answering, "Your Mother and I… We saw some truly horrific things before you and your brothers were born and I always pictured that what we saw people do to each other… Well I always thought that that was what Hell would be like… We both had a bit of a hard time dealing with it all… Well you know that I just tried to drink my memories away, but your Mom… She put all of her focus on you three." He paused for a moment to monitor his daughter's reaction then continued, "When she had you, like I said before, I was completely terrified because I had no idea how… how I should treat you, but your Mom, she… she smiled a little bit brighter any time that she was near you… She even told me once that she thought that you were an angel sent from God as His way of rewarding us for making it through Hell on Earth in one piece."

Toni was too stunned to reply for a moment then she hoarsely whispered, "She… I mean, I don't remember her ever saying that to me."

He stroked the length of her hair then serenely explained, "That's because when you were really little, not quite old enough for school, she dressed you up in this cute, frilly dress she had somehow found off base and once you were in it she called you her 'Perfect Little Angel'… But you got really upset at being called that and screamed bloody murder until she finally took you out of it… She had absolutely no idea what to do once she had, but you ran straight into William's room, put on his Cub Scout uniform and shouted at her that you weren't an angel, that you were just like another son for her. She felt so guilty about singling you out like that, so we both tried our best to treat all three of you the exact same from that day forward."

"Oh God, Dad I… I remember that. She had tears in her eyes when she helped me to change again into some of Alexander's hand me downs. I didn't… I just didn't want to ever get special treatment for no reason. But Mom tried… She still tried to make me understand how special I was to her, even after I left you two to go to school."

Toni's Dad squeezed her hand in an attempt to reassure her before saying, "She understood Toni, really she did. But to answer your previous questions… Yes, yes I do believe in God, I do believe your Mother and brothers are in Heaven right now because they were faithful servants to Him… Yes I believe that Hell does exist and that Dean Winchester's soul was sent there when the deal he made with a demon came do… And yes, I do believe in Angels… And whether you like it or not, I still agree with your Mother that you my beautiful girl most definitely are a gift from God… You're still my Angel."

Toni blushed then uttered an embarrassed, "Dad…"

"I don't mean to embarrass you, but over these past six months I realized that it's all true and I wanted to get better so that I could prove that all to you… Antonia, I love you and everything I just said is the honest truth. When we all took an oath to serve God and our country, we all took that oath to heart. Every war that I fought, I did so in our Lord's name in the hopes that no one would ever have to experience the Hell that all of us saw. But then…"

When her Dad trailed off, Toni gently shook his arm asking, "But what Dad?"

He looked up at her and brushed a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek. "But this job that you're doing now… If you've faced even half of the things that I've read about Sam and Dean fighting, then I know that you've had to face demons and the fires of Hell already… I know you say that you're happy, but I never wanted a life like this for you. I just wanted you to be safe."

Toni tried her best to give her Dad a strong, confident smile as she replied, "It's okay Dad… Yeah some of the things I've killed have been really nasty, but it's all been beyond worth it because I know that what I've done has meant that no other families would fall victim to those things. I guess… I kind of see this job the same way you looked at fighting a war, which honestly does make me happy."

He smiled in response to that then they both fell silent, lost in their own thoughts again. The Colonel's eyes only shot up to his daughter's face she he heard her snort in a quiet laugh.

"So… Seriously? You really do believe in all of it? Everything we've read in the Bible?"

His eyes narrowed as he playfully asserted, "Yes Antonia, I do. So please? Will you just tell me what's going on?"

"Oh… Sorry… Sorry… Yeah, okay… So Dean… He was pulled out of Hell by an Angel," she explained almost hesitantly.

"An Angel? Really?"

"Yeah… I even kind of, sort of met him… But only briefly so I can't really tell you what they're like," she quickly added knowing what her father's line of questioning would most likely entail. "Although I'm pretty sure that they can read minds."

He laughed softly then said, "Wow, so you really did meet an Angel?"

She nodded replying, "Yeah… But I'm pretty sure that Dean and Sam have spent quite a bit of quality time with him because Dean called him a close friend of the family, but… Umm… Things were a little too hectic at the time for me to chat with him."

Her Dad nodded solemnly then looked up at her with a playful glint in his eye, "But can you at least tell me what he looked like Toni?"

"Umm… I don't know… A banker? Or maybe an insurance agent?" She squeezed her dad's hand concluding, "He pretty much looked like an average, good-looking guy in a suit and trench coat. It was nothing really too spectacular really… But when I get a chance to talk with Dean again, I promise that I'll try to find out more for you Dad."

The Colonel nodded then smiled sadly before saying, "Thanks Toni that would be greatly appreciated… But I know that that isn't what has had you on lock down here for the past few days. Please? Please will you tell me what has had you in tears for nearly four straight days?"

Toni swallowed hard and nodded before she attempted to formulate a response.

"Thank you," her father whispered almost inaudibly prompting her to shutter and sob slightly.

"I'm so sorry Dad, I really didn't mean to hurt you by keeping all of this from you…" He once again squeezed her hand for encouragement, so Toni continued a little more confidently, "Part of it is that I've been on the go so much over these past few months… I think everything just kind of caught up with me all at once and hit me really hard… The other part, it's… It's Sam… Dad… He went to Hell too. I don't know why, but he did and something or someone brought him back… Well most of him anyway." This time it was Toni that took a moment to monitor her dad's reaction to make sure he was still following her narrative. He only offered her a hard scowl in thoughtful contemplation and remained silent, so Toni continued to explain, "They don't know how Sam got out, even the Angel is totally stumped, but whatever did it… They forgot to make sure that they brought his soul out with him."

"Oh goodness… Toni…" Her father gasped when he saw her tears return to her eyes. "Oh Angel, I'm so sorry to hear that."

Toni let her dad hold her tightly in his arms while also trying to keep her tears at bay so that she could fully explain why she had hidden herself away from him after getting back to Wisconsin.

"That job that I worked with Sam in Mississippi… He had no soul then, but he still… He acted like he did back when we knew each other in Stanford so I… I treated him the same way that I did back then too," she hesitantly explained.

Although no father ever wants to admit that his daughter would one day grow up from being his 'Princess' or 'Perfect Angel' to a woman with wants and desires, especially of the carnal nature, Toni's father knew that his daughter had in fact grown up, in every possible way imaginable. He knew that she wasn't just beautiful in his mind's eye and he had hard evidence to back up that claim because anytime that she worked for Paulie, he found hastily scrawled notes with names, phone numbers and sometimes hotel room numbers jotted down on them in the pockets of whatever outfit she had worn to work. He never knew the details of what transpired from those advances, but if Paulie's warnings were any indication than he had the vague notion that his daughter was able to find "comfort" with pretty much any man she met whenever she sought that out.

"Oh… So you and Sam… Sam without a soul… Got… Ahem… 'Close' while you two were in Mississippi and now… Umm… You're feeling kind of guilty about it?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yeah… Well no, not like that Dad," Toni clarified while stumbling a little bit over her words as she sat back out of her dad's embrace. "With Sam… It wasn't just… Umm… You know… Physical… I love him Dad and I told him that… Then I treated him like… Uhh… That even though he… he…"

When Toni broke down in tears and couldn't complete her thought out loud, the Colonel did in a stunned tone, "Even though he has no soul and could never reciprocate your feelings."

She nodded but remained mute while she continued to cry.

"Toni…" Her dad quickly pulled her into his lap again and hugged her tightly to his chest. "Angel that doesn't reflect poorly on you at all. You love him and love should be unconditional… But Angel he… he didn't hurt you did he? I mean physically… He didn't make you do anything that you didn't want to do, did he?"

She shook her head against his chest then replied quietly as her tears started to subside, "No sir. Sam knows that I would beat his ass down if he ever thought about trying anything like that with me."

The Colonel laughed heartily, petted her hair adoringly then replied, "Well I'm glad that your brothers were able to teach you that much at least."

Toni chuckled against his clothing, so her father relaxed a little bit more. Both seemed to be content with her being held in her dad's arms, so neither made any attempt to change what they were currently doing. After a while, the Colonel almost thought that his daughter had drifted back to sleep and had resigned himself to having to wait for any further explanation because her breathing had steadied to such a calm, even pace.

"Really Colonel? You don't think that it's wrong for me to love a man that has no soul and can't ever really love me back? You're… you're not disappointed in me for being weak?"

"No Toni! I could NEVER be disappointed in you for that," he answered looking her square in the eye and smoothing her drying hair against her head. "The fact that you can still see the good in him… The part of him that you fell in love with back at college… That just proves that you truly are my Angel and have more inner strength than I could have ever imagined."

Toni leaned in and wrapped her arms around her dad's neck with a relieved sigh. "Thank you so much Dad. I was afraid that you would think that I was being feeble, so I was afraid to tell you about all of this…"

"And that why you wouldn't leave your room?"

She nodded again against his neck then said, "Yes sir. But I'm sorry that I doubted you, sir… I know now that I should have had more faith in you, sir."

"Toni, Sweetheart, with our history I really don't blame you for that." He continued to hold her tightly then after what felt like an eternity of silence, he asked softly, "Are you hungry?"

As she nodded against his shoulder, Toni sat back to look him in the eye as she answered, "Yes sir. I think my lack of appetite over the past few days has started to catch up with me."

He smiled then stood up off the bed explaining, "Well dinner should be here any minute… But no rush, when you're ready just come on down, okay?"

"Okay… I will Dad."

Once she was alone, Toni went into her bathroom and sighed sadly at her reflection. "Wow… I don't think that I've ever looked this shitty before. Poor Dad… I owe him big time on this one."

By the time she got downstairs, her dad was at the door of the townhouse speaking with someone that she couldn't see. They then met in the kitchen and Toni was completely confused by the scene that was playing out before her. The Colonel placed the two brown paper take out bags on the table and just flashed her an amused grin.

"Since you didn't make it to Paulie's the last time that you were in town, I thought I'd call him and ask him for a favor," he finally explained as he unpacked the food.

"I think I'm kind of afraid to ask what you had to tell Paulie to get him to break his "No Take Out" rule," Toni commented before taking a large bite out of her hamburger.

She caught her Dad's eye as she devoured her meal and froze for a moment before almost mumbling around her mouth filled with food, "Dad?"

He had a small, sad smile on his face as he answered, "You really do underestimate how loved you truly are by the people around you Toni. All I had to do was tell Paulie that you had your heart broken by some stupid guy that… Well that you had your heart broken and he was putting our order together before I hung up the phone."

"Oh… Really?" She asked sheepishly.

"Absolutely… Now eat up before you waste away on us."  
  
                                                              ***********************************************************************  
  


Over the next few days, Toni was able to tell her dad even more about what she had learned during her last job with the Winchesters. To her surprise, he seemed to take the news that pagan gods existed in relative harmony with the Biblical beings he had already confessed he believed in without much distress. She had wanted to start searching for another hunt as soon as possible, but her father convinced her that it would probably be better for her to just take some time off completely away from the supernatural for a spell.

Toni then ease into her father's routine with the only glaring omission from her own being that she refrained from doing any research what so ever. The Colonel had been eager to introduce his daughter to some of the other residents that he had befriended, so she quickly became like his shadow when he attended any social functions at the complex. As much as Toni appreciated seeing this side of her father, she felt severely self-conscious about all of the compliments that all of the other tenants bestowed upon her when they met her. But as the professional huntress that she had grown into being, Toni was able to put her feelings of unease aside because she could see how her spending this much time with her father made him smile so brightly and how he looked genuinely happy for the first time in a long time, so she didn't want to do anything to hinder that.

It was because of this that she even tried participating in some of the activities her dad had made apart of his regular routine while she was away on hunts. At least she tried to as much as possible… It ended up that she was most hesitant to join in during her father's "Aquacise" class and at the pool she felt that it was for good reason. When she first draped her robe on the back of a lounger poolside she felt uncharacteristically shy because she could sense that every male eye was laser focused on her bikini clad body.

As she hugged her arms around her chest, Toni quietly commented (mostly to herself), "I should really consider investing in a one piece suit."

Her dad chuckled and gently patted her back saying, "Angel, I don't think that it would make much of a difference with this crowd."

She couldn't help herself as she laughed and rolled her with a begrudged, "Thanks a lot Dad."

During the class, Toni couldn't help but notice that the majority of the lustful leers directed at her transformed into chagrinned stares when the other participants got a closer look at all of the scars that were scattered over her body. Her most recently acquired werewolf claw marks had continued to heal without complications, but they were still quite prominent against her pale skin. She still didn't know what her father had told everyone about her employment or the reasons he had offered in regards of her extended absences, so she worried even more about what everyone was thinking about her and her wounds.

As soon as the class was over, Toni was the first one out of the pool so that she could cover herself up with her ankle length, terry cloth robe.

"Toni! Toni wait up!" Her dad called out to keep Toni from running back to their townhouse.

She finally stopped and waited for him to catch up with her on the path where no one from their class could see them and then quietly explained as they walked side by side, "Dad… I shouldn't be here… I shouldn't be making every day here harder for you like this."

"Toni, you're not… Really don't waste another thought worrying about them. They all think that you work for 'Search & Rescue', so they see your scars as nothing but badges of honor… Just like they actually are… They know that each one represents at least one life that you've saved."

She stopped suddenly on the path and just stared at her dad in a stunned silence. He gently grabbed her shirt sleeve to get her moving again as he further explained, "They are all pretty impressed that you saved that woman from a bear attack single-handedly."

"Dad? Really? You told them that?" She questioned in a hushed tone as they made their final approach to the entrance of the townhouse.

He shrugged nonchalantly replying, "Bear? Werewolf? Same difference, right?"

She smiled with appreciative tears in her eyes and nodded then they both retreated into their rooms. After Toni had washed the chlorine out of her hair, she met her dad in the living room. They had recently perfected an afternoon routine of reading while sipping tea together on their favorite chair in this room of the townhouse. As she approached the couch, her dad passed Toni her novel and a mug of tea. She took them both silently and made herself comfortable as she resumed reading Carver Edlund's rendition of Dean's Djinn induced alternate reality.

When she got through the part where Dean has the heartfelt monologue beside John's grave, Toni calmly closed her book and turned to face the Colonel.

"Dad?" She called out softly. "Colonel? Can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course we can Toni. What's on your mind?"

"Umm… I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I can't… I can't stay here much longer. I'm not old… Shit, I mean I'm not retired, so I shouldn't be lounging around here with you like I am or something. Hell, I've been sitting here for the last hour worrying about remembering all of the Bridge rules you taught me for our game with the Garrottes tomorrow night. You have to admit, that's just not right," she elaborated as gently as she possibly could.

"It's alright Toni, I understand what you mean. But Sweetheart, after everything that you've gone through, you needed to give yourself some time off. There is no shame in that," he replied as he got up and walked over to his bookshelf. "But that being said, if you really are ready to head back to work, I think I have a job for you."

While claiming the file, Toni asked dejectedly, "You've been doing research without me?"

"No Angel… Not really… A friend of mine was telling me about this, so I just put together a few articles and things that he lent me as well… That's all I swear."

By this point, Toni was lost in the Colonel's case file, so he let her familiarize herself with the information without any immediate interruptions.

"And only males have gone missing?" Toni clarified out loud as she finished reading through the paperwork.

"It would appear so. My buddy's friend's son is one of the victims… Do you think it's something that you might be able to help with?"

"Well… It couldn't hurt for me to look into it," she offered with a bright smile.

"So I guess that means we'll be getting you set up to head out to Indiana then," he commented more cheerfully. Before Toni could ask anything, the Colonel added, "And you did hear me correctly… I'll be staying behind again." Toni scowled, but her dad continued with the same light hearted tone, "Angel, I AM old… And I AM retired. I don't belong out in the field with you. My place is here, at home, helping you with research, okay?"

"Well I can't argue with that logic. I guess I'll start packing and then I'll head out as soon as possible," she answered with a tentative smile and a quick hug.

Toni wasn't sure where she was going to start with this job, but she didn't want to delay working on it at all since it involved a friend of her dad's. The prospect of a nearly seven hour drive by herself wasn't every appealing either, but her father had promised to call her periodically until she got there safely, which warmed her heart to no end. She also made sure to stop more than once for a caffeine fix to maintain some level of alertness for the time when the night started to turn into the wee hours of the next day.

"No sir, the nap I took after dinner seems to have helped a lot," Toni reported over the phone as she navigated down a dark, deserted highway. "I think that I'm just going to find a place to crash and then I'll pick up the case again tomorrow. Once I know more, I promise, I'll call. Now that being said… you should head to bed too, okay Dad?"

" _Okay… You take care Angel."_

As she hung up her phone, the headlights of her truck flashed against the back of someone walking on the shoulder of the road.

"IDIOT! Who goes out walking in the middle of the night dressed in all black?" She questioned out loud through the windshield.

Toni was still shaking her head as she passed the pedestrian and she couldn't help but steal one more glance at the dumbasses' face as she passed.

"Holy shit!" Toni exclaimed as she slammed on her breaks and pulled over to the side of the road.

Dean was just going to walk past Toni's pickup without looking at her, so she rolled down the passenger side window and yelled, "Hey! Hot Stuff! How much for the whole night?"

Dean stopped then turned and stalked up to the open window. "What did you say?" He asked with an undeniable snarl.

Toni turned on the dome light and suppressed her laughter long enough to reply, "I said, 'Hey you! Did you need a lift?' Is all."

He opened the door laughing then said, "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks Toni."

She waited a minute to see if he would offer any explanation for his being without his vehicle or cellphone, but Dean just glared out the window at the road ahead of them. "So… Fancy meeting you out here… On the road… In the dark… Walking back from…?"

Dean shook his head answering, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Toni swallowed uncomfortably then abandoned her humorous tone after Dean's terse response. "So where are you guys staying?"

When he realized that Toni wasn't going to push him to answer her previous question, Dean relaxed and answered more civilly, "It's just up ahead here… The first one you'll reach on the right hand side."

True to Dean's word, the motel was easily found. Toni immediately navigated through the parking lot towards Dean's Impala with the thought that it would be parked close to their room. Dean didn't offer any alternative directions, so once she was in front of the Impala, Toni stopped her truck and slipped it into park.

Dean finally looked over at her and asked in a thoroughly confused tone, "Didn't you want to come in and talk about the job that brought us all here?"

"Umm… Sure… But there's no parking over here," Toni answered with a shrug.

Dean glanced around the crowded parking lot and blushed slightly with embarrassment. He nodded over in the direction of their room and apologized saying, "Sorry, I didn't notice. We're right over there, room nine."

"Okay… I guess I'll just find a spot then I'll be right there."

Her search for a spot was thankfully quick because each one of Toni's coffee breaks hit her all at once. She nearly sprinted through the parking lot, but slowed down when she saw the Winchesters' door propped open.

_Yes! I can run in and bee-line for the bathroom._

As she once again quickened her pace, Toni ran full force into Dean while he was standing in the door way still.

"Dean, I really need to use your bathroom," Toni pleaded as she gently pushed the elder Winchester out of her way.

His right hand instinctively flew out to block her path, but Toni didn't stop until she caught an eyeful of an auburn haired woman laying naked on top of Sam. They both had somewhat overly cheerful smiles on their faces. When his eyes locked with Toni's, Sam's smile faltered for a millisecond before the woman enthusiastically exclaimed, "Sam! They brought your brother back!"

Dean squeezed whatever part of Toni's flesh that was under his palm, leaned towards her and whispered, "Bathroom's up on the left just ahead there."

Toni nodded then hurried to the open door and inadvertently slammed it in her haste to cut herself off from the scene in the room. She tried to listen to what was happening in the other room and she was pretty sure that she heard the outer door close, but decided to give Sam and Dean a couple of minutes alone. She stole a quick glance at her watch and started pacing around the room like a caged lioness while she tried to pass the time and collect her nerves. After five minutes of wearing a circular pattern into the tile, Toni washed her face in the sink and stared at herself in the mirror.

_Dad's friend needs YOUR help, so get it together girl. Focus on that thought and let's get the job done. You can deal with Sam… Later… Or Never… Okay, deep breath, game face and let's go._

She took another moment at the sink then stood at the door with her hand on the knob and just stared at the door. Toni allowed herself one more deep breath then she slowly turned the knob and opened the door. Dean and Sam were seated on their own bed in an animated conversation, so she just hung back and watched.

"They actually seemed surprised… I don't think anyone's ever done that before," Dean narrated exuberantly before jumping off the bed to his feet. He looked down towards his brother and declared with joyful smugness, "I had a close encounter and I won."

Toni bit her lip to keep from laughing. Sam followed Dean's suit and jumped to his feet a well. "You should take a shower," Sam commented happily.

Dean was completely distracted by his own joyous thoughts that he just distractedly agreed, "I should take a shower. I'm going to take a shower."

Without thinking about or noticing Toni, Dean locked himself away in the bathroom and moments later Sam and Toni heard the shower running. Toni watched as he stood by their beds itemizing the information of the case quietly to himself.

Toni started moving towards the door and interrupted their silence by saying, "Thanks for letting me… Umm… Use the facilities. Good luck with ET."

It only took one long stride for Sam to block her exit route and put his hands up, but kept from touching her. "Whoa… You're just leaving?"

To increase the distance between them, Toni took a large step backwards into the room. "Yeah… I was actually on my way to West Virginia to help one of my dad's friends with a job. I… Umm… Just needed a pit stop when I ran into Dean, so I should really be hitting the road again."

Sam took a step forward reaching out to the petite woman saying, "Seeing me with her… That bothered you, didn't it?"

Toni quickly side-stepped around Sam's large frame and before he could turn around to look at her she replied, "Nah… I told you back at school that there were no strings attached, so why would it bother me?" She begrudgingly turned her sad eyes up to Sam's face and nearly pleaded, "You and Dean seem to have the whole UFO thing figured out, so please… Please just let me go?"

Sam remained completely silent with a strange faraway look on his face as he reached around her and opened the door. When Toni stepped out, she whispered a 'Thank you' and barely paused when Sam called out, "Good luck in West Virginia."

Toni didn't trust herself to turn back and look at Sam, so she just waved one of her hands over her head and might have shouted, "Thanks". Her mind was completely blank as she weaved through the crowded parking lot, but all of her thoughts caught up with her once she was behind the wheel of her truck.

 _Fuck!_ She thought forlornly to herself as she threw her head back against her head-rest. _Now what am I going to tell the Colonel?_


	16. These Feelings Inside

**As everyone filtered out of the lecture hall, Toni bent over in her seat so that she could place her notebook into her messenger style bag. She HAD hoped to sneak out of the room before the end of the lecture, but her Criminology Professor had chosen today of all days to go over the details he was expecting to be included for the end of term papers right at the end of his lecture which delayed her escape considerably.**

**When she finally did look up again, she was immediately confronted with the one person that she was hoping to avoid by sitting in the last row. She forced herself not to let her true feelings show when she caught a glimpse of the curly hair, blond undergrad that was latched onto Sam's arm.**

" **Toni… Hey… Umm, long time no see," Sam greeted her politely.**

" **Yeah… I guess we've just been missing each other," she replied somewhat distractedly.**

**They started up the stairs together in a more than uncomfortable silence when Sam felt his girlfriend squeeze his hand tightly.**

" **Oh… Hey… Sorry… Jess this is Toni… We… We've umm…"**

" **We've been paired up in more than a few Crim courses we've had together. It's nice to meet you, Jess," Toni jumped in when she saw that Sam was hesitating.**

" **Oh… So… You two have known each other for a while now?" Jessica clarified, not sounding entirely happy about that piece of information.**

" **Umm… Yeah… Since Freshman year," Sam sheepishly replied.**

**Jessica just nodded and gave them both a tight smile before she commented, "So I guess we'll be seeing you in class then."**

" **Oh… Umm… No… I'm on the wait-list for this class… I just popped in hoping to see if I could get in and maybe stay caught up just in case anyone drops it this week."**

**Sam held the door open for the two women to exit ahead of him. Toni was just about to say a quick 'Goodbye' so that she could leave when she was stopped by someone calling out her name.**

_**SHIT!** _ **She groaned to herself as she turned around. "Hey Kory. How'd you know where to find me?"**

" **Seriously Toni? We've been meeting for coffee after your Crim class since the beginning of the semester," he replied as he stepped up to her and started to wrap his arm around her waist.**

**Toni's eyes shot up to Sam's face as she felt her skin start to warm under an embarrassed blush. Sam smiled at her sympathetically then winked as he said, "I guess that mean that we'll be seeing you around more then."**

" **Yeah, I guess… Umm… It was nice meeting you Jessica," Toni answered as she tried to take a few steps away from the other couple.**

**Jessica offered her another tight smile then turned and walked hand in hand down the hall with Sam.**

**Kory tightened his hold around Toni's waist and quietly asked in her ear, "Hey Babe, you okay? What was that all about?"**

" **Oh… It's nothing… Sorry about that," Toni replied before she turned and kissed his cheek. "It's my turn to buy, right?"**

************ ***************   
**Weeks Later**   
***********************

" **Thanks again Toni. I can't believe someone snagged the journal and hid it for themself. I'll get this back to you as soon as I finish photocopying it today," Sam said as he slipped the book into his bag.**

**Toni sat down on her bed and smiled uneasily. "Happy I could help… But you can just give it back to me after class on Thursday, no rush."**

" **Oh… Uhh… Sure, but… Uhh… Don't you need it for the assignment?"**

**Toni could see that her proposal seemed to make Sam uncomfortable, so she quietly withdrew her offer saying, "Jessica doesn't know that you're borrowing it from me, right?" Sam shook his head silently. "She doesn't know that we still talk, does she?" Again Sam just shook his head in response. "Sam… You shouldn't keep stuff like this from your girlfriend… Unless… Oh, shit! Does she hate me that much?"**

" **No Toni, it's not… She just…"Sam replied taking a step towards her while trying to find a way to explain. "It's just that one of her friends told her all about our history before I got a chance to and she's been really annoyed with me since then, so I just haven't told her everything in the hopes to keep her from hating you… I promise, once it's all blown over I'll come clean."**

**Toni looked up from her hands that were folded in her lap and replied, "Oh… Okay… So… Yeah whenever you're done with it I'll be here working on my Poli Sci paper so I'll be here… You know when you're done."**

**Sam smiled sadly and nodded. "Thanks again… I'm sorry if this is awkward at all."**

**After stumbling through her previous statement, Toni took a second to regroup before saying with a soft laugh, "Hey, don't worry about it… I'd be jealous of me too if I were in her place."**

**Sam smiled more easily and then turned to leave. After he opened the door, he found himself trapped because on the other side he found the same guy that had met Toni outside of their class a couple of weeks earlier. He had his hand raised as if he was going to knock on Toni's door and stood frozen in his place when he saw Sam.**

**They each muttered a low "Hey" then side stepped around one another until their reached their intended destination. Kory then refocused all of his attention on Toni and scooped her into a hug. The he was squeezing her tightly, Toni exchanged a sad smile over Kory's shoulder with Sam then Sam finally pulled her door closed.**

**Once he heard the soft thud of the door being secured shut, Kory stole a quick glance over his shoulder to confirm that they were alone then kissed Toni softly.**

" **So are you and Sam an item again?" He asked as he brushed her hair off her shoulder so he could kiss a spot just below her ear.**

**Toni gently pushed out of his embrace quickly replying, "No, no we're not. He's with that girl you met outside of my class. Really we aren't, he was just here to borrow a book for class."**

**Kory was running his fingers lovingly through Toni's hair as she spoke and kissed her with a little more force when she finished speaking.**

" **Hey it's okay… Although I wouldn't mind sharing you if I had to," he whispered as he peppered her neck with light embraces.**

**While he continued to nip at her flesh, Toni almost roughly pushed him back asking, "And what does that mean?"**

" **Toni…"**

" **Did you just infer that I'm a slut who can just be passed from guy to guy?" She continued without raising her voice.**

" **NO! Toni it was a joke. Really…" He apologized taking a step away from her just in case she decided to throw a punch. "I really didn't mean anything by it."**

**Toni slumped down onto her bed and avoided looking up at him so that he wouldn't see the tears that threatened to form in her eyes while she offered her own apology. "I know you didn't Kory… Fuck, I'm sorry; I know that you didn't mean it like that at all."**

**He sat down beside her and placed a hand over both of hers and squeezed them lightly. "It's okay… But are you doing alright? Because you have been on edge pretty bad over the past couple of weeks… I'm kind of worried about you Toni."**

" **Oh, it's nothing… It's just this stupid paper," she quietly explained. "I just can't seem to make everything fit together and I guess it's frustrating me more than I thought it would."**

" **Oh so it isn't because of tall, dark and handsome that just left here?" He asked without sounding accusatory.**

" **What? Sam? No… No we're just friends," she countered sounding a little too defensive. "What in the world would make you say that?"**

" **Hey, it's okay if it is… Toni, we've been seeing each other off and on for a while now, but I've never seen you look at anyone like you look at him," Kory explained as he rubbed soft circles on her back.**

**She lifted her eyes up to his and sniffled back her looming tears. "Fuck, is it that obvious?"**

**Before answering her, he gently captured her lips with his own. Toni had to grip the front of his shirt to keep from falling into him when her relief washed over her. He maintained complete dominance of the pace of their kissing and held her head so he could deepen their embraces.**

" **Only to those of us that know you really well. I think he's too stupid to notice."**

**Toni didn't have a chance to defend Sam because Kory kissed her deeply once again and laid her down on the bed. To show her appreciation for his understanding, Toni let him have full control and just followed his lead obediently.**

"Miss! Miss!" Toni heard as she was jostled awake by someone banging on her window. "Miss! You can't sleep here."

Toni rolled down her window and tried to focus through the haze of sleep. "What?"

"I said that you can't sleep in your car in my parking lot. If you want to get a room, fine. If not, then you and your rust bucket should just be on your way," the man replied sounding thoroughly annoyed.

"What?" She asked again absentmindedly as she stole a glance at the clock. When she was the glowing numbers "8:03", she quickly exclaimed, "Oh shit! I fell asleep."

The motel manager rolled his eyes, but before he could verbalize his snide remark, Toni pulled out her wallet saying, "I'll take a room."

He politely opened her door and helped her out of the vehicle before escorting her over to the office once he saw the swell of bills and credit cards in her wallet. Now that Toni was a paying customer, she was treated with nothing but kindness and respect. The manager completed the paperwork and explained that they had been inexplicably busy, but that she was in luck because he did have one room with a king sized bed available.

Toni finished her end of the paperwork and gave him cash for the room then claimed the key before heading back to her truck to unpack her bags. She was still feeling quite a bit dazed after being pulled prematurely out of her dream, so the only thing that was on her mind was trying to nap and then having a hot shower to start the day properly before meeting with the father that had contacted the Colonel's friend.

Before pulling out her luggage, she was stretching out some of her achy muscles when she heard, "Toni?"

 _Fuck!_ She thought as she pulled her bags out and turned around. "Hey Sam," she finally replied dejectedly.

"I thought you were heading to West Virginia," he commented with the slightest hint of confusion.

Toni forced herself to keep an even tone as she said, "We both know there's no job in West Virginia. Don't act like you're stupid just because you have no soul."

He glared at her slightly as he asked, "Oh… So you planned on sticking around and working on this case all along?"

"Yeah… I had hoped I'd find somewhere else to stay so we wouldn't get in each other's way, but idiot me fell asleep and apparently the UFO thing has been attracting people and now rooms are hard to come by."

Sam stood there silently just digesting everything Toni had told him, but she took his lack of response and his blank stare as him silently mocking her. She then put her bag down, faced him squarely in the eye and explained somewhat exasperated, "Look Sam, one of the abductees is the son of one of the Colonel's friends, so I can't just take off, okay? Please don't make a big deal out of it."

"Yeah, okay. I get that… But I just don't understand why you don't want to work with Dean and I then," he answered with the same confused look on his face.

"Seriously Sam? You don't have the vaguest notion why I wouldn't be jumping at the chance work with you again… You guys I mean," she asked in a stunned tone.

"No, I don't. You're trying to figure out what's happening here to help your dad's friend and the two of us are looking for the same answers… Wouldn't it make more sense if we pooled our resources and all of us worked together?"

Toni stared at him, completely and utterly speechless while she reveled at Sam's nonchalant attitude. Unbeknownst to both of them, Dean had been watching their exchange from beside the closed door of the Winchester's room, so he jumped in before Toni had had a chance to completely collect her thoughts.

"Well then we should let you settle into your room so you can get ready Toni," Dean interjected as he took Sam by the elbow to guide him towards their car.

Sam tried to protest and shake his brother off saying, "Dean I don't…" but his brother interrupted in a hushed tone, "Sam just come with me and I'll explain everything in a minute."

Dean then turned his focus back to Toni and said with a nod, "I guess we'll see you around Toni."

Toni smiled gratefully and whispered, "Thanks Dean."

Toni then continued on her way, nearly sprinting to room, but Sam stood his ground once again objecting, "Dean what the hell is going on? Why didn't you back me up and tell Toni that she should work with us?"

Dean shook his head, but kept from mirroring Sam's incensed tone as he calmly instructed, "Just get in the car Sam and I'll explain."

Sam hesitated, looked back towards Toni who was just opening the door to her room, then finally turned and followed Dean to the Impala. Once he was in the car, Sam waited a moment then questioned heatedly, "So are you going to tell me or what?"

"Sorry Pinocchio, but I'm going to need coffee before I start our next 'How to be a normal human' lesson."

Toni tried to keep from watching Sam and Dean out of the corner of her eye, but she just couldn't help herself. After her exchange with Sam, she could feel her adrenaline pumping, so she abandoned the thought of napping and just unpacked the essentials so that she could shower. As she got dressed, she heard her phone ringing and worried that she had taken longer than she had expected while in the shower and was late for her meeting.

"Hello?" She answered quickly while putting her phone on speaker so she could continue getting ready.

" _Hey Angel. I just wanted to call and check on how you were doing."_

She smiled despite herself as she continued to apply her makeup and answered, "Well I'm a little bit more rested than the last time we spoke, but other than that not much has changed in the last five hours."

Her dad wasn't deterred by her subtle indication that he was being over-protective as he inquired, _"And you found somewhere to stay? Because I was checking on-line and it looks like Elwood is becoming quite the hotspot for alien activity so all of the crazies are flocking there. You don't think that that's what you're dealing with, do you?"_

Toni laughed so suddenly that she almost poked herself in the eye with her mascara wand. "So you're getting pretty good on the computer there, eh Dad?"

" _Toni…"_ Her dad cautioned to keep her from changing the subject.

"Well that seems to be the popular theory. Hopefully Mr. Wagner can shed some light on the situation and offer an alternative, especially after everything Dean was telling me last night."

" _Dean…? Dean and Sam are there? Oh what did THEY have to say about everything?"_

"Umm… Yeah they are… Umm… But we didn't really get into it too in depth because… Well… Sam was… Uhh… Umm… Entertaining a guest when Dean and I got back to their room."

" _Enter… Oh… OH! Toni, I'm so sorry Angel…"_

Toni picked her phone up and turned away from the mirror so that she didn't have to look at her reflection while she lied to her father. "It's fine Dad, really. Plus it was really late too, so it wasn't exactly the best time to get into everything, you know? And speaking of… I should really get going so that I won't be late."

She quickly hung up her phone before her dad could reply and then shook her head saying, "There's no way he believed that line of bull if you don't Toni."

                                                                                          *******************************************************

"Why not?" Sam questioned with an almost child-like innocence.

"Because if you had a soul, your soul wouldn't let you," Dean replied in a firm, hushed tone.

"So you're saying having a soul equals suffering?"

"Yes that's what I'm saying," Dean agreed as he stole a glance to his left to make sure that no one was listening in on their conversation because he really didn't want both of them to get locked up in the loonie bin.

Toni was doing a quick sweep of the bar when her eyes fell on Sam and Dean. Once Toni's gaze caught his own, Dean gave Toni a small, quick wave, but before he could gesture for her to join them, she diverted her eyes and quickly sat down at a table with her back to the Winchesters.

"Okay, so you've eaten and had coffee, can you finally explain why Toni is acting so weird? I mean she won't even acknowledge you now," Sam asked with a slight nod towards Toni's back.

Dean shook his head saying with a chuckle, "I can't believe you don't see it."

Sam scowled then questioned, "See what?"

"Dude, she still loves you, so seeing you with another chick in the… You know, Biblical sense, probably isn't sitting well with her at the moment. She's nursing a bruised ego right now."

"Still…? No, she didn't, doesn't… She never told me that she did. All she ever said to me was 'no strings attached'."

"Yeah well she wanted you to be happy and when your version of the future differed so greatly from hers, she let you go so that you could find that."

"Why would she do that? Wouldn't doing that make her unhappy?" Sam asked with his tone once again sounding genuinely confused.

"She did that because she loves you and loved you back then. You make sacrifices for your loved ones. Yeah she was probably unhappy for a while but then she would have moved on," Dean explained hoping his brother would start to understand soon because this topic was making him very uncomfortable.

"This is another soul thing, right?" Sam asked slightly annoyed. When Dean nodded, Sam clarified, "So you're saying that suffering is a good thing."

"I'm saying it's the only game in town," Dean concluded as he stood up and pulled his wallet out.

Toni could feel the Winchesters' eyes on her while she waited somewhat nervously. She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths willing herself to not turn around and tried to compose herself.

"Toni? Is that you?"

She opened her eyes and smiled warmly replying, "I am if you're Alex Wagner."

He laughed softly then sat across from her without offering any verbal confirmations.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"This is a fairly small town, so I just looked for a pretty stranger sitting here on her own," he answered with a sad smile.

Toni blushed slightly then got right down to business. She wanted to make sure that Chad, Alex's son, was in fact taken by whatever Dean had been taken by and that there wasn't another reason for the disappearances. She had a few questions jotted down in her notebook and was focused only on the small book and the man across from her, so she missed seeing the Winchesters leave.

After a thorough, but gentle, interrogation, Toni left the despondent father with a list of names and families that were living the same hell as the Wagner's along with a new list of questions that she needed to answer. But first, she had to plan her schedule. Where should she go first? Who should she speak with first?

As she made her way down the street to her truck, she passed by 'Brennan's Watchworks', so she decided that starting with the victims' families was the best place to start and probably the most convenient at this time.

Toni started to push on the door, but was halted by the shop owner pushing on the door from the opposite side asserting hastily, "Store's closed. Come back tomorrow."

"But Mr. Brennan, I just have a couple of quick questions," Toni explained as she wedged her booted foot between the door and its frame. "You know, about your son's disappearance?"

"Questions? Oh well in that case…" He eased up his hold on the door, so Toni moved her foot with a sly smile on her face. "Don't come back! EVER!" He shouted as he slammed the door shut.

Toni stood staring at the door, completely taken aback at his reaction. She could hear the clicking of the locks being secured on the door, so she didn't bother trying to turn the knob again. She did open her mouth to speak, but stopped because she didn't want to make a spectacle of herself in the middle of the street this early in her investigation.

 _Maybe I should skip straight to step two,_ she thought to herself as she continued her course to her truck.

While driving to her next destination, she had a brief phone conversation with the dad about her meeting with Mr. Wagner. The Colonel was happy to report that he had spoken with his friend and Mr. Wagner had nothing but nice things to say about Toni and felt more confident now that his son would return home safely. Toni only laughed uncomfortably and reminded her father that she didn't know what was behind the abductions, so she couldn't make any promises about anything just yet.

Once she reached her destination, she tried to finish her talk with her dad as nicely as possible so that she wouldn't hurt his feelings. "Hey Dad? Do you think you could do me a favor?"

" _Of course Angel, just name it."_

"Well some of the families… They're not exactly overjoyed about talking with yet another stranger about what's happened… Do you think there's any way that you could use some of your cop connections to help me get an 'in' with the local Sheriff? You know convince him to let me have a look at the missing persons' reports and so on?"

" _I think I might be able to do you one better. Alex Wagner works for the D.A.'s office, so he's working on his boss to take you on as a 'Special Investigator'. He's hoping that they'll be able to prosecute the culprit to the fullest extent of the law and knows that you'll be a huge asset in doing that. I'll see if he can include a private audience with the Sheriff for you as well."_

"Really? Dad that's awesome! Thanks so much. Okay, I'll call you tomorrow and see where we are with that."

" _Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good luck tonight Angel."_

Toni stared out at the vast cornfields then chuckled, "Maybe this is just a 'Field of Dreams' vortex we have going on… How'd that work again?"

She was still laughing softly at her joke when she entered the field but remained on high alert for anything unusual. It didn't take her long to come across the flattened corn where most of the abductions had taken place. She walked the perimeter of the area trying to gauge how large it was, mostly because she wasn't sure where else to start right now.

"It's a circle, right?" She questioned out loud when she returned to the spot where she had started. "That's weird in and of itself, but what else? There HAS to be something else here."

Still feeling uncertain about what clues she hoped to find, Toni walked from the edge of the circle to the relative center and stopped. She could feel that she would find something here because it appeared to be the epicenter of activity. After walking the diameter and perimeter of the circle a few times, Toni started to feel her frustration mounting.

Since looking hadn't yielded any results, she decided to try a different approach. As she knelt down at the edge of the flattened field, she thought to herself, _Please don't be wet. Please?_

Dusk had fallen and Toni's visibility was becoming more and more of a problem. However, she continued to investigate by touch, hoping that her hands would land on something that her eyes hadn't seen up until this point.

"Gross… Gross… Please don't be a body part, please don't be a body part," Toni repeated a few times to herself when she touched something cold and spongy while trying to fish out her flashlight from one of the pockets of her cargo pants.

She sat down where she had been kneeling and shined her light in the area she thought that she had found something. She placed the flashlight between her teeth so that she could use both of her hands to weed through the flattened cornstalks. When she finally found what she was looking for, she picked it up with her right hand then took her flashlight out of her mouth with her left.

"What the fuck? Why are there mushrooms in a cornfield?"

By the time Toni got back to the motel, it had turned from dusk to night. She couldn't help but steal a glance at the Winchesters' room, but she pretended not to notice that their lights were still on. With her new evidence in hand, she thought that she had a new theory, but she wanted to look into a few things before she shared it with anyone else. Sure, pagan gods were real, but this? There was no way anyone would believe this insane idea unless she had some solid proof to back up the theory.

For the first time in a long, long time, Toni actually felt relieved that she was born a girl because that actually made her research faster and easier. In a fit of relief, she got so caught up in her research that she woke up to the sun shining on her face as she slept with her head on the table beside her laptop.

After drying some of the drool off her cheek, Toni stood up and stretched then pulled out a change of clothes. Once she was assured that she was fully prepared with her research, Toni exited her room and walked down the sidewalk until she was standing in front of the door with the large '9' on it.

 _Okay Toni, three heads are better than one,_ she coached herself as she knocked confidently on the door. She gave it a minute, but the room remained still and no one opened the door. She then surveyed the parking lot and felt defeated at the scene before her. _Damn it! They've headed out already!_ She silently cursed when she finally noticed that the Impala wasn't parked where it had been parked the previous night.

Toni quickly retreated to her room and was immediately greeted by the sound of her phone ringing. She haphazardly tossed her laptop, books and the mushroom onto her bed so that she could run to answer it.

" _So you're in Angel,"_ her father announced excitedly. _"The Sheriff said that if you can pop by any time after 1800 hours and if they don't have anything else major going on, he'll be more than happy to walk you through their investigation."_

"Seriously? That's perfect, thanks again…" Toni tried to thank her dad, but the Colonel jumped in calmly saying, _"That's not all Angel."_

"Really? What else could top a private audience with the Sheriff Sir?"

" _One with the D.A.?"_ He questioned almost innocently. When he realized that he had her undivided attention once again, Toni's dad added, _"Alex will meet you at the D.A.'s office so that he can introduce you to Jack Quinn. He thought that a lunch meeting would be the most appropriate."_

Toni shook her head to make sure it was clear before replying, "Fuck… I mean… Err… Uhh… Sorry Sir, but that's just… Just so much more than I had hoped for."

" _Good to know,"_ he answered playfully. _"I'll call you in the morning to see how your meetings went… Good luck Antonia."_

Toni triple checked the clock then took her time getting ready for the day. She needed to make sure that she looked the part, so Toni was meticulous about choosing her wardrobe before completing an appropriate hair and make-up routine. She even took the time to iron out some of the wrinkles from her skirt suit so that she wouldn't look like she lived like a nomad but was instead a professional that should be respected and revered.

After making sure that she didn't have a hair out of place, Toni set out to the restaurant where Alex Wagner had made their reservations. The two men were already seated at the table, so Toni offered insincere but earnest sounding apologies for her tardiness because she had heard somewhere that he who arrives last is exerting their dominance in the group and she was doing just that but didn't want to let onto that fact.

During their lunch, Toni learned absolutely no new information, but she was relieved none the less to have made contact with such powerful allies. She wanted to reassure them that she was close to the end, but she knew that there was no way she could tell them her actual working theory without completely alienating them, so she just offered vague assurances when they asked her what she thought her odds were of finding the victims. They both seemed to be satisfied by that and the three departed ways with the promised of regrouping in a couple of days if nothing else pressing was uncovered sooner.

Toni couldn't decide if she should just pass her spare time back at the motel room or if she should attempt doing more research. Yes, she thought that she had found and honest to God 'Fairy Ring' and the patterns of the abductions fit in with faery lore, but she still wasn't sure how to get any of the first born sons back. With that in mind, she figured that a stop at the library might be in order, but then she got distracted. Everyone seemed to end up at the same bar in this town and today as Toni passed their large bay window, she caught a glimpse of Sam inside.

After taking a deep breath, Toni resolved that she wanted… no NEEDED to share her theory with someone and since Dean (the safer choice) wasn't around, she'd have to settle for Sam. The irony of using the word 'settle' when it came to her feelings about Sam wasn't lost on her, so she forced herself not to focus on that point. She then started to move towards the front door, but stopped when she saw that Sam wasn't alone at his table.

 _Well fuck me. You lock me out of your store, but you'll talk with soulless guy? Fine, you stick with the boy who has no emotions and I'll get everyone else's sons home,_ she thought snidely to herself as she hurried towards her truck.

There didn't seem to be much else for her to do at this time, so she drove around aimlessly until she found a restaurant close to the Sheriff's department. Toni enjoyed a leisurely dinner while she went over all of her notes then she mentally prepared herself to speak with the Sheriff. Before heading out that way she checked her watch and cringed because it wasn't quite 1800 hours yet and she couldn't decide if showing up this early showed eagerness or naiveté. Ultimately she decided that she didn't care because she needed to get this job finished sooner than later, so she just went to the Sheriff's office, appointment time be damned.

"Hi, I'm Toni McNamara, I… Umm… Have an appointment with the Sheriff," Toni hesitantly explained as she spoke with the front counter staff.

She never used her real name, at least not her full name, when out on a job, but her father didn't know any of her aliases which forced her to do so tonight. She swallowed nervously as she watched the three women have a quiet discussion amongst themselves then one abandoned the crowd to approach her.

"I'm sorry Ms. McNamara, but the Sheriff had to step out…" She explained almost nervously.

Toni looked between the three of them and was instantly intrigued as to what was so important that the Sheriff himself HAD to attend, but she didn't want to tip her hand this early in the game and just sweetly asked, "Would it be alright if I wait for him here? I really don't mind how long it will take because this meeting is just so important to my dad and all."

The ladies saw the barest hint of tears that Toni forced to emerge to demonstrate some level of vulnerability, so one quickly replied, "Of course you may, but we honestly don't know how long it will take him to get back."

"Oh, that's okay," Toni quietly agreed while pretending to keep her tears at bay. "I have my laptop with me, so I can entertain myself."

The three office workers exchanged unsure glances then one went to open the secure door saying, "Well in that case, follow me. Can we get you anything? Water? Coffee?"

"No Ma'am, I'll be okay… But thank you, I appreciate the offer."

They all escorted her to a chair in the Sheriff's personal office then left her alone. Toni was anything but naïve, so she knew that she was under the watchful eye of every civilian worker in the office, so she refrained from snooping around the Sheriff's desk like she was itching to since the moment that she entered the room. Instead she discreetly read over some of the new information Alex Wagner had sent her until she heard someone clear his throat behind her.

Toni quickly turned in her seat and flashed the newcomer a bewitching smile. "Hi Sheriff, I'm Toni McNamara. The D.A… I mean Mr. Quinn and his associate Mr. Wagner set up a meeting between us because I'm helping them…"

"Right," he replied as he placed a booking sheet on his and desk and rubbed his eyes with the heels of both of his hands. "But Ms. McNamara, this night has been a little bit more exciting than we had anticipated…" He snickered softly to himself. "Just ask Mr. Quinn."

Toni had taken it upon herself to cautiously move the booking sheet while the Sheriff wasn't looking so she could see it better. She then saw an undeniable image of Dean's face along with what she could only hope was one of his many aliases.

"You arrested this man tonight?" She questioned out loud before she could stop herself.

The Sheriff snatched the paper back, tucked it under the clasp of a clip-board then slipped it into a slot behind his desk before he answered, "Yes I did… For assaulting your friend, the D.A., along with a few other charges. Why? Do you know him?"

"Yes Sir," she hoarsely replied. "He's… He's a friend of mine and… Umm… He's been working this case with me. May I ask what other charges you are holding him for?"

The Sheriff stared at Dean's booking sheet, and then flipped through the various sheets on the clipboard in thoughtful contemplation. When his eyes met Toni's, he quietly answered, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Mr. Quinn will be leaving the interview room in the next few minutes… He's aware of the charges and if he feels you should know, he'll tell you."

Toni nodded then simply stated, "Thank you Sheriff, I think I'll do just that."

She waited in the lobby and when the District Attorney finally emerged she restrained herself to let him approach her.

"Toni… You're not waiting for me are you? Because I'm fine and am completely capable of getting myself home," he explained.

Stepping up to him, Toni forced her smile to hover between easy and sincere. "No, actually I'm here about Dean… The guy that allegedly assaulted you…"

The D.A. could sense her unease and held onto Toni's arm to escort her out of the building before sharply asking, "What about him?"

"Well… Sir… He and I have been working together… Looking into the disappearances and all…" Toni then got into a long winded explanation about how Dean and herself had stumble upon this mess separately but then decided to pool their resources and work closely together to get to the bottom of it. She reported that thanks to Dean's insight and hard work, they were close to figuring out exactly what was happening to the sons of this town and that without his continued aide, there was no way she could solve it on her own.

Toni didn't dare leave the Sheriff's department until she thought that she had convinced Jack Quinn that Dean wasn't the hate spewing monster he thought that Dean was. Her only stipulation was that Toni wanted the D.A. to cite a 'change of heart' or something else along those lines for the reason why Dean was being set free. She didn't want her name to be associated to it in any way, shape or form because she didn't want her partner to feel like he owed her a favor now and the D.A. agreed to her terms stating that he might rescind his generosity if the case wasn't solved soon.

When she drove back to the motel, Toni made sure to park her truck as far away as she could so that the Winchesters couldn't see it. She tactfully watched the parking lot from her window as Dean triple and quadruple checked the area for her presence before he pulled his phone out to call her while Sam busied himself with packing the car. Toni of course let it go to voicemail and waited until the Impala was long gone before she even allowed herself to look to see if he had left her a message.

While she was on the road home, she finally forced herself to stop and listen to his message because she wanted to have that dealt with before seeing her Dad.

" _Hey Toni. I don't know how you did it, but I know I have you're at least partially to thank for my freedom. Don't hold it against him, but the D.A. let your name slip during the usual, get this done then get out of town speech._  
 _And don't worry, Sam killed the leprechaun… I know, I know, I was shocked to hear they are real too. Everyone should be safe at home now. Sam doesn't know about your helping me out either… But Toni? I'm going to figure out what's going on with him… We're going to do whatever we can to get him back… I mean OUR Sammy, so… So don't lose my number, okay?_  
 _Keep in touch."_

She didn't know why, but hearing who their latest foe was didn't seem to really faze her at all. At least she knew her fairy theory wasn't completely out of left field. But something about this last outing was making her feel uneasy.

When she got home, her dad ran to the door and pulled her into his arms exclaiming, "Toni! Angel, you're home!" When he took a closer look at her face he worriedly asked, "Are you okay?"

Toni tried to give her dad a strong smile, but she knew he would see through the façade in an instant so she sorrowfully replied, "Hey Dad… Have you tried the latest flavor Ben & Jerry's have come up with yet? I hear that it's really good."


	17. There's Nowhere to Hide But Away From Me

After speaking with Toni when she first arrived in Indiana, the Colonel had stocked up on all the 'essentials' for when she got home. He immediately went out and bought ice cream, chocolate and fresh fruit of every variety that his fridge and freezer could hold. He knew that he was kind of grasping at straws to comfort his daughter, but since the ice cream seemed to have broken the ice between them the last time Toni was in distress, he was hoping they would be the key this time as well.

While she was away, Tom continued his regular day to day routine without his daughter. Since her last visit, Toni quickly became a fascinating topic of conversation with the other residents of the retirement villa. He had eagerly talked anyone's ear off that would listen to his edited retelling of her exploits once he left rehab, but since most of them had had a chance to meet Toni in the flesh, Tom was now the one being sought out to recount Toni's latest rescue.

Somehow in the game room, his cribbage match with one of the widows who resided there turned into a table of five women listening to the Colonel talk about his daughter. With this crowd, the 'Search and Rescue' side of things quickly fell by the wayside once Tom mentioned a 'boy' from Toni's past. Almost as soon as he uttered the phrase 'Ex-boyfriend from college', the Colonel was bombarded with questions about how serious they were back then. Why did they break up? How did she feel about seeing him again? Were they going to get back together? How was Toni handling seeing him now?

Toni's father couldn't really answer any of their questions because he had been asking himself the exact same thing. Since he hadn't had the courage to bluntly ask Toni any of those questions, he answered them the best that he could from the knowledge he had gained for the conversations the two of them had had. 'Sam and Toni were in different places in their lives and drifted apart while at school' seemed like the easiest answer for why they had broken up so many years ago. He never specifically answered any of the other questions, but the ladies seemed to 'Ooh' and 'Ahh' knowingly when he told them that Toni had gone through nearly a whole pint of Häagen-Dazs while she told him about the last job she worked with Sam.

"Oh dear… And that was after they had parted on good terms?" One of the five questioned after he was finished recounting that part of the story.

"They parted on relatively good terms," he clarified with a slightly confused tone.

"And this job… Something happened between them that makes you think they might never reconcile their differences?" One of the ladies seated at the opposite end of the table asked.

Tom had to turn both his head and body so that he could focus on her. She had a genuinely sad look in her eye so he tried his best to describe the scene that Toni had delicately explained to him.

"Well this last time… Toni kind of stumbled up him… In… in the comforting embrace of another woman."

Each and every woman sat back, gasping in horrified shock. Then they all started muttering to themselves and each other, completely forgetting about the only male at the table. The Colonel frantically tried to catch any part of the many conversations going on around him, but the best that he could pick up was the occasional, 'Oh my', 'That poor girl' or 'Not our sweet Toni'.

Suddenly one of the flock stood up and every eye fell on her as each woman went deathly silent in anticipation of her proclamation.

"I'm sorry Tom, but ice cream just will not do this time. It's one thing to let someone you care about go, but it's completely different having him stolen away from you like our poor Toni had happen to her."

Every female face lit up brightly awaiting her resolution, but Toni's dad was worried now. He hadn't asked his daughter if it was alright for him to talk about the intimate details of her love life and he suddenly felt very uneasy and regretful that he brought this all up.

"Oh, no she'll be able to handle it," he objected in the hopes that this revelation wouldn't make its way back to his daughter, causing her distrust him once again.

None of the ladies acknowledge his protests and remained solely focused on the female that was standing. When Tom noticed that they weren't listening, he raised his voice and nearly shouted, "Toni wouldn't want all of this attention!"

He was now standing, but he quickly lowered his buttocks into his chair when his outburst was met only with angry glares. They all refocused their attention to the leader of the pack and she remained undeterred by the Colonel's objection.

"She'll need chocolate," she stated with unwavering confidence.

When everyone nodded in vigorous agreement, she added in Tom's direction, "I have a fondue set that has never seen the light of day. My daughter-in-law swears that it was the only thing that helped my granddaughter get over the boy that her supposed best friend stole from her. I lend it to you and I have the recipe she used as well."

The Colonel relaxed and slumped forward slightly at the realization that this remedy was one that he could put to use one on one with Toni instead of having a group therapy session.

"That would be wonderful," he accepted as the group refocused their attention on him. "But ladies… I have to ask you for a favor. Toni has always been quite private about her love life, so please be discreet when you approach the topic of Sam." A few of the ladies mimicked the motion of zipping their lips closed. When he saw that some of the other women were just looking at him in frustrated confusion, Tom elaborated, "I mean if she brings it up then by all means talk to her about it… But if she doesn't and you bring it up to her, then she'll know what a big mouth her dad is and she might never talk to me about this kind of stuff again." Their looks of uncertainty remained steadfast, so he tried using his last piece of heavy artillery to seal the deal. "And then how else will I be able to talk to you all about it to get your expert advice?"

That seemed to do the trick and the Colonel quickly heard a shift in the group's attitude with a few quietly agreeing, 'Oh of course' and 'Mom's the word'.

The leader then said, "In that case, I'll drop it by tonight and show you the ropes. I hope it will help."

Tom smiled gratefully as the group dispersed to their own previously scheduled activities, leaving him alone at the table. He held his head in his hands and shook it sadly while lost in his own thoughts.

 _Stephanie, our daughter needs a mother… Give me a sign… Am I doing right by her?_ He prayed with his head bowed.

When Toni got home, her dad ran to the door and pulled her into his arms exclaiming, "Toni! Angel, you're home!" When he took a closer look at her face, he worriedly asked, "Are you okay?"

Toni tried to give her dad a strong smile, but she knew that he would see through the façade in an instant, so she sorrowfully replied, "Hey Dad… Have you tried the latest flavor Ben & Jerry's have come up with yet? I hear it's really good."

He took her bag from her wrapped an arm around her shoulder to lead her into the kitchen. Toni put her arm around his waist and hugged his torso gently in return.

"So since this one was a bit tougher on you, I thought you might need something stronger than ice cream," he explained before they entered the kitchen.

Toni froze in her spot, completely misunderstanding what her Dad was telling her. "No Dad, it's okay. I… I don't need alcohol and you really don't need to have that temptation in the house. I really wasn't THAT bad."

The Colonel laughed softly, kissed Toni's temple and then nodded towards the table and the fondue pot. "One of the ladies lent it to me."

After hugging her dad tightly, Toni chuckled as well replying, "Wow you weren't lying when you said 'new house, new rules'."

He passed her a fork with a marshmallow on it as they both took a seat. She tentatively dunked it in because she wasn't really certain how you kept everything on the fork while dipping it into the molten chocolate. Her dad watched as she started to nibble on the chocolate covered confection and frowned at her hesitation.

"Was it really that bad Angel?"

Toni's eyes shot up to her father's face and she couldn't help but smile. "No, it's not that Dad. I just keep thinking 'Your body's a machine. Make sure you give it the proper fuel'." The Colonel's eyes showed his regret, but before he could say anything Toni added, "I feel like less of a rebel breaking your rules right in front of you, Sir."

She popped a chocolate covered chunk of fruit into her mouth once her dad relaxed and laughed at her joke. His jovial moment was short-lived because as he placed a piece of fruit on his fork, Toni's eyes were as wide as saucers and she had a pained look on her face.

"Hot… Hot…" She mumbled while trying to chew the food in her mouth. After taking a drink of cold water, she smiled brightly again saying, "I forgot, molten chocolate… It's kind of hot and can burn you…"

He shook his head and blew on his chocolate covered fruit on the end of his fork and replied, "Very true… So… Toni… Did you want to talk about what happened in Elwood?"

Toni started playing with her fork in the fondue pot, frowning at it while deep in thought. "It's actually kind of ridiculous Dad… And to be honest, I feel kind of silly saying it out loud."

He reached across the table and held her free hand as he lovingly asserted, "It's not ridiculous. Please Toni, it's best if you talk about it. It's never good to keep it in."

Her eyes remained focused on her fork as she dipped the strawberry into the chocolate over and over. "Well Dad… Apparently fairies and leprechauns are real too."

The Colonel was momentarily stunned and the sound of his fork falling on the table top forced Toni's eyes away from her playing with her food.

"Yeah, I know, right? Dean said that he was surprised by that too. So it got me thinking… While we're looking for a new job, we might want to… to…" She had to pause to calm herself down before her laughter over took her. "To look at some of my books from when I was little so that we can bone up on our fairytale knowledge too."

Her dad laughed as he continued dunking fruit into the chocolate then finally replied, "Sounds like more fun than weeding through obituaries."

Toni was still laughing as she put her fork down and started eating the fruit as it was. Her dad watched her with a quizzical look, so Toni sheepishly explained, "I actually really do like the taste of fruits and vegetables. I'm not really a big fan of chocolate."

Her dad sighed loudly then chuckled saying, "Oh thank God because this is a little too rich for my taste too. How does a cup of tea to cleanse our palates sound?"

"Perfect. Thanks Dad."

While the Colonel was up and started preparing the tea, Toni watched him and tried to decide how to tell him what she was sure he was expecting to hear. What she knew he wanted her to talk about. She knew that he hadn't gone to all the trouble to prepare this snack just to hear about the monster she was fighting with the Winchesters. Since he had ventured out of his comfort zone for her, she pushed back all of her feelings of trepidation to do the same for him.

"I'm okay Dad," she started while his back was still facing her. "I know that he's not Sam… Well not my Sam. He doesn't get how his actions can affect other people. I… I understand that now. He didn't sleep with her to hurt me, he was just satisfying his desire. I wasn't even in his consciousness… I can't really be upset with him for that, right?"

Toni dad kept his back to her during her revelation because she seems to speak more freely when he wasn't staring down at her. As he turned around, he felt saddened that Toni was still avoiding making eye contact with him by tearing up a piece of paper into tiny pieces. She looked so fragile at the moment and he was hoping that they wouldn't have a repeat of her previous breakdown because he wasn't sure that he could handle her being that upset again. He was thankful that he hadn't had any alcohol in the house then because he was so tempted to drink her sorrow away last time.

"Well it's good to hear that you've been able to put the situation into some perspective, but Toni… That still doesn't mean that he's allowed to hurt you," he replied as he sat across from her again.

"I know that too, but he honestly doesn't get it. I think that our consciences are tied to our souls or something. Where you and I would feel guilty, he just doesn't. And it isn't because he doesn't want to, he physically can't," she tried explaining. As she sipped her tea, she looked up at her dad and said, "Plus… I think that when I told him I loved him… He wasn't able to or didn't hear it… Or maybe I just dreamt that I told him. I'm not really sure, but either way, he doesn't seem to know my feelings for him. So… I can't expect him to acknowledge something that he doesn't know exists, right?"

She gave her dad a cheeky grin and he allowed himself to laugh softly. "I thought you dropped out of college… How'd you get to be so smart?"

"Dad…"

"Toni, you truly are an amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman… I wish that I had more to do with helping shape you into the woman you are today."

Toni tried to chastise her father again, but she was temporarily at a loss for words. "Well, you really cracked the whip about getting my school work done… So, I guess it wouldn't be out of line for you to take at least partial credit for me getting a full ride to Stanford," she tease, blushing slightly.

"Hmm… That's very true," he replied with a wink.

He got up to get them a refill and while he was retrieving the teapot he tried to change the subject as seamlessly as possible. "So speaking of Stanford… You had a gentleman caller while you were away."

"Really? Who was it? How'd he get your number?" She asked as she reclaimed her mug.

"He said his name was Kory Turner. He knew about me being in the military, so he called a few different retirement communities until he found me," the Colonel explained.

"Wow. Talk about determination," she replied completely awestruck. "He must have needed to discuss something pretty important."

"You know… You're pretty important Antonia," he countered with the barest hint of a tease. She hid herself behind her mug, but her dad could still see the pink on her cheeks. "But yes, he was hoping you could help him with his situation."

"Help him?" She echoed showing her confusion.

"Yes. He knows the truth about what happened to William and he thinks that he might be dealing with similar circumstances."

"The truth… Oh geez… He must have read my journal when he packed my books up for me," she reasoned while she tried to work it all out in her head.

"Is that something that he would do?" He father asked, unable to mask the concern that crept into his voice.

Toni smiled, squeezed her dad's hand then explained, "He was a really good friend when I was at Stanford. When I wouldn't tell him the truth back then, he would do whatever he could to search it out and then he'd force me to fess up to whatever I was hiding from him."

"I can't say that I don't like the sounds of that."

After another brief chuckle, Toni almost hesitantly asked, "Did he give you any details about the job?"

"He was still pretty shaken up, but from what I could gather, there was a strange accident and his fiancée passed away… He thinks that his daughter might have witness the whole thing."

"Daughter? Was it her mother?"

"No, he's a widower. His first wife passed away after a short battle with cancer a few years ago. Since his daughter was so young, he kept a lot of his wife's personal effects, so he's worried that the prospect of this marriage angered her spirit or something."

Toni shook her head sadly agreeing, "Crap, that does make sense."

He dad shared the same sad smile that Toni wore on her face. He then passed her a note saying, "Then you'll need this so that you can get a hold of him. But you should try to get a proper night's sleep first."

Toni nodded silently, got up and kissed her dad on the cheek before distractedly saying, "Good night."

As she walked back to her room, she was staring at the piece of paper in her hands so intently that she almost tripped up the stairs. She finally pried her eyes from it long enough to place it on her desk while she prepared for bed. As she brushed her teeth, she once again focused her attention on its reflection in the mirror. She pretty much had the ten digits memorized and she had already come to the conclusion that the area code was from around Chicago, so at least they were in the same time zone.

"Damn it Toni, just call him," she ordered herself as she stared at the note in the mirror.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Toni started dialing Kory's number. She started pacing nervously around her room and even jumped with mild surprise when she heard his tired, "Hello?"

"Hey Kory it's Toni my dad just gave me your message and I'd be happy to help you," she blurted out in one quick run-on sentence.

When she heard him chuckle softly, Toni calmed her nerves to more soberly say, "Sorry. Hey Kory, it's me. How are you holding up?"

" _It's okay Toni; I think I hung up half a dozen times before I mustered up the courage to stay on the line. We're doing alright, all things considered."_

"Of course. There's nothing worse than losing a loved one," Toni replied not really knowing what she should say to help him right now.

" _But during that ramble… Did I hear you say that you'll help me with this?"_

Toni swallowed nervously then quietly answered, "Yeah you did. I'll head out first thing in the morning and then hopefully I can get this figured out for you quickly."

" _Thanks Toni. I really appreciate it."_

As soon as she hung up the phone, Toni started pacing again. She knew that she should at least attempt at getting some sleep, but her mind was racing so fast that she knew any attempts would be fruitless. So she decided to use her nervous energy to pack and plan a route to Illinois.

By the time she made it downstairs in the morning; her dad had already made breakfast and dished it out for both of them.

"So you have everything you need ready so you can head out?" He asked as they dug into their meals.

"Yeah, I talked with Kory last night and it all seems pretty straightforward… It shouldn't take me too long at all."

"You know… Chicago's a great town to visit… Do you think you might take some down time while you're there?"

"No I don't see why…" She started nonchalantly until she looked up and caught her dad's eye. "Dad! I know that we're getting closer and all, but there's no freaking way that I'm talking to you about that!"

"Okay, okay, so we won't talk about it. But don't forget to call and keep your old man in the loop so he can sleep at night, okay?"

The drive into Chicago was relatively smooth and Toni was able to make good time. She turned down Kory's street and was eternally grateful that it was still light out because she hoped that could only help her to find the address she was looking for that much easier. She was just about to triple check the exact street number when she came around a curve in the street and was taken aback by the scene that was ahead of her.

"Shit! Please tell me that isn't… Fuck!" She cursed out loud before parking her truck a few houses down from her destination.

The Coroner's van was just pulling out of Kory's driveway when Toni started making her way through the crowd that was gathering. Kory was still by the front door talking with a police officer, so Toni tried to stay in the crowd while also attempting to discreetly catch his eye. While he was mid-sentence, Kory's gaze did land on Toni and he paused slightly, causing the officer to turn to see what had distracted him during his statement.

"Friend of yours?" The Constable asked trying not to sound too suspicious.

"Oh, yes Sir. She offered to come and help me with the arrangements for my wife and everything else," Kory replied, diverting his gaze quickly away from the crowd to the officer again.

"That's nice that you have that support," the Constable commented as he waved at Toni to invite her to join them. As she extracted herself from the crowd, Toni just caught the tail end of the two men's conversation with the officer saying, "I think we have everything we need. Here's my card in case you need anything from us, including resources for counseling and such for you and your daughter. I'll be in touch if anything else comes up."

Toni cautiously stepped around the Constable and they exchanged polite nods as a greeting. As soon as the officer turned to leave, Kory placed a gentle hand on Toni's lower back to show her into the house. He then hastily closed the door then pulled Toni into a tight hug.

"You have no idea what a relief it is to see you Toni," he commented on the verge of tears as he held her close.

Once he finally did let go of Toni, she petted one of his cheeks replying, "Looks like you had some more excitement since we last spoke. What happened?"

Kory took her by the hand and led Toni into the living room explaining, "I'm not even sure myself. I was out taking care of a few things for… For Candice's service so one of the girls for work offered to watch Isabella for me… When I got home she… She was on the bathroom floor… Not breathing…"

"Oh my God… Is… Is Isabella okay?"

"She's still not really talking to anyone except for me… She's up in her room right now…" Kory started to trail off, so Toni just squeezed his hand and left him to regroup for a moment.

"Kory, can I get you anything? Tea? Water? Anything at all? Because I really don't mind waiting to get into all of the details considering what just happened."

He took a deep breath then held both of her hands tightly before answering, "No, it's fine Toni. You've driven all this way… And the sooner you start then hopefully the sooner this nightmare will end."

"Are you sure?" Toni confirmed in a quiet firm tone.

Kory leaned in and pecked Toni's lips softly then reiterated, "Really I think I can do this."

"Daddy? Daddy!" A small voice called out from the top of the stairs.

Kory kept his hold on Toni's hands as he yelled back, "What do you need Busy Bee?"

"Can I watch TV?" The young girl inquired as she walked into the room and stood beside her father.

"Of course you can Pumpkin," he replied smoothing down one side of her hair. "Isabella, this is Daddy's friend Toni. She's going to be staying with us for a couple of days. Cool with you?"

The seven year old glanced over her shoulder at Toni, but did little else to acknowledge her presence. Instead, she took her dad's free hand and tugged on it, forcefully asserting, "Make me a snack Daddy."

Kory smiled at Toni apologetically. "Sorry, I'll be right back."

He then followed his daughter into the kitchen and Toni sat on the couch, awkwardly trying to find something to occupy herself with while she waited. There were a couple of local newspapers on the coffee table, so she started flipping through them while she passed her time alone. Instinctively she turned to the obituary section, not really looking for any suspicious deaths, but ended up finding a few just the same. She quickly pulled out a pen and notepad to write down the dates, the cause of death and the names of the victims in the hopes that a pattern might emerge.

Kory watched her from the doorway for a spell, marveling at her professionalism during his time of need. He knew that she could compartmentalize her feelings, but every time he saw this trait of hers in action, he found himself in absolute awe. The longer he watched, the more amazed he became because he could tell that she had found a clue or something else to hopefully solve what was happening to him.

He finally decided to interrupt her and called out "Hey Toni…?" capturing Toni's attention, but they were immediately interrupted by the sound of a siren. They both turned their head just in time to see the red and white lights speed past Kory's living room window.

Toni jumped to her feet and Kory met her at the large window. While they watched the medics rush out of the ambulance into the neighboring house, Kory's arms wrapped themselves around Toni's waist. He watched the scene with a worried eye, but Toni remained in 'Hunter-mode' and tried to fit what she was witnessing in with everything that she had already learned.

"What are you thinking?" He questioned with his chin on her shoulder.

Toni hugged his arms that were still around her waist knowing that Kory sought some form of physical contact when he was feeling that he was falling to an abyss of despair.

"From what I've seen, I think…" She paused to turn around in his arms and look him in the eye. "I mean, I'm pretty confident that there's no way that it's your first wife's spirit that's behind this."

"Really?" He hoarsely asked as a tear slipped down his left cheek.

Toni brushed it away gently and was about to offer him a few more reassuring words when they were interrupted by Isabella once again as she called out, "Daddy! Daddy! Read me a story!"

Kory tried his best not to visibly show his disappointment when he hanged his head and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

Toni shook her head smiling and whispered, "Don't apologize. Go, take care of Isabella. I'll go see what I can find out about what's happening over there."

The distraught father tried to say 'Thank you', but his words wouldn't form, so he just lowered his lips to kiss Toni's forehead.

"DADDY!" Isabella shrieked freezing him mere inches from Toni's flesh.

Kory looked down at her wide-eyed, but she just unlatched herself from him softly ordering, "Go… She needs you right now… And I have work to do."

He almost reluctantly released her then they both heard another shrill, "Daddy!"

"Go!" Toni commanded softly with a playful push on his chest. "Go before she finds the octave that can actually shatter glass."

Kory cracked a small smile and Toni turned to exit the house quickly. While Kory worked at placating his offspring, Toni worked her magic on the EMTs and learned more than she had originally hoped. Anyone who asserts that it's a 'Man's World' had never been a woman who knew how to use each and every one of her 'assets' to dominate a sexually frustrated man.

By the time they were ready to load the body into the ambulance, Toni had not only learned everything she could from the medics, she had also befriended the woman who had most recently been widowed. She tried talking with their pre-teen son, but Toni had grossly underestimated how far her 'feminine wiles' would work on a male that had no raging libido.

As she quietly re-entered the Turner home and slowly closed the door, Toni heard Kory clear his throat to let her know that he was still awake.

"So did you find out anything interesting?" He asked as a couple of involuntary tears fell.

Toni nodded softly answering, "There definitely is something weird going on here and I'm even more sure now that it isn't an angry spirit."

Kory couldn't get his eyes to meet hers as he asked, "What is it then?"

She knew that being blunt wouldn't help her friend right now, so Toni took his hands in hers and gently said, "You're exhausted Kory. Why don't you head up to bed while I check on a few more things…?" When he hesitated, she added, "I'll be up in a little bit."

He leaned down but just rested his forehead against hers, so Toni tried to tip the scales in her favor by making up the distance so that their lips met in a soft, reassuring kiss. "Please Kory, for me? Try to get some rest?" She implored once again.

Kory finally turned and made his way up the stairs while Toni watched him attentively until she heard a door close. Once she was alone, she allowed herself to fall apart ever so slightly. Now that she had confirmation that her initial suspicions were wrong, she knew that she had to start from scratch, which made this task feel beyond daunting.

 _What could it be?_ She thought to herself as she walked the length of the Turner's living room back and forth. _So what? A demon? Something else? Fuck! How do I know? No… Shit…_

She flopped onto Kory's couch then she reached for her cell phone because Toni's first instinct was to call Sam. But as soon as she thought that, the blank look in Sam's eye flashed in Toni's memory from when she talked to him about why she couldn't work with him and his brother, so she continued to scroll through the few names she had saved in her contact list.

" _Hello?"_ The voice on the other end questioned when an unfamiliar number called.

"Hey… Dean? It's Toni…"

" _Toni!"_ He jumped in enthusiastically. _"How have you been?"_

She could hear that he was genuinely concerned about her, but Toni didn't want to get into talking about all of that right now. She had a job she had to do, so talking about her feelings could wait.

"I've been okay, but things have really sucked ass for my friend," she answered hoping Dean wouldn't press her to open up to him.

" _Which is why you called. So what do have on your hands?"_

"It started off with my friend's fiancée having an accident and umm… Dying. He thinks his daughter might have witnessed it. But once I got here I noticed there's kind of been an epidemic of accidents in his neighborhood."

" _Do any of the other victim's families have kids?"_

She pulled out her notes and silently chastised herself for not writing that information down. "Umm… At least one of them does… Shit, I'm not sure Dean. Can you give me a second to double check?"

" _Of course I can… Take your time Toni,"_ Dean replied trying not to laugh at her unnecessary apology.

"Well looking at the obits… Yeah it looks like all of them have kids… Wait… No, a child… Each family has one child," she explained as she read over the articles in the paper again. She heard Dean make a thoughtful noise prompting her to ask, "Does that mean something to you?"

" _Yeah, it sounds like a job Sam and I worked a few years ago."_

"Okay… So what do you think it is and how do I stop it?"

" _It's probably a changeling… Well changelings. The children have probably been switched."_

"What?" Toni exclaimed, unable to hide her shock. "And here I thought their reaction to me was my whole anti-kid vibe I put out there."

Dean chuckled then replied, _"No it's them, not you… So last time there was also a mother changeling that kept the kids to… Umm… Snack on."_

"Oh my God, really? So she'll need somewhere to keep them then, right? Huh… There are a few houses in the area that are empty… Looked like foreclosure properties," Toni mused mostly to herself.

" _Sounds like the best place to start."_

"Okay, perfect. Thanks Dean, you have no idea how much I appreciate your help."

Toni pulled her phone away, but before she could hang up, she heard Dean shouting her name. "Yeah Dean? Was there something else?"

" _Did you want to know how to kill it?"_

She felt her skin heat up with embarrassment as she sheepishly said, "Oh yeah… I guess that would help… Umm… So what do I do?"

" _You burn the mother and then the creepy kids disappear too… And if you're worried about going after the wrong person, mirrors will tell you who it is."_ Dean explained bluntly. He sounded like he was going to continue, but instead said, _"Oh one second Toni."_ Before continuing away from the microphone. _"You actually showed. Wow, Sam, I owe you a chicken dinner. What happened?"_

Toni heard Sam nonchalantly reply, _"No big. This is what friends do for each other."_

She quickly hung up the phone so she missed hearing Sam ask, "Who are you talking to?"

Dean looked down at his phone and saw that Toni had terminated their call, so he easily lied, "Oh, it was Toby."

"Kid's kind of needy," Sam observed without trying to hide his annoyance.

Dean clenched his jaw, but just calmly retorted, "He's been working on tracking an alpha for us, so I asked him to update me frequently."

Toni looked down at her phone and shook her head at herself. "You HAVE to get over this phobia," she ordered herself quietly before delving back into her research.

In the morning she woke up on the couch and heard Kory quietly call out, "Busy Bee, come on… Breakfast is ready… Let Toni sleep."

When Toni opened her eyes, she shuddered visibly when a cold shiver ran down her spine because Isabella was standing beside the couch with a strange, blank look on her face. Toni sat up and stretched, trying not to let her discomfort show.

"Sorry about that Toni, I hope Isabella didn't wake you up," Kory apologized as he picked his daughter up to carry her into the kitchen.

"No, she didn't. I had planned on getting up early so that I could get to work… Umm… On that project," Toni explained as she followed Kory into the kitchen.

"Daddy, I want waffles!" Isabella demanded before the adults could continue their conversation.

"Well Busy Bee, Daddy made pancakes, so…"

"WAFFLES!" She shouted over the rest of his comment. "WAFFLES DADDY!"

"Isabella," the father started very sternly. "We don't throw temper tantrums in this house to get our way." Kory then turned to apologize to Toni, but she had already left the room and was hurrying towards her truck.

Toni figured that all of the parents were excusing their children's similar behavior as being a result of emotional distress after all of the tragic deaths, so she wanted to get this job finished… Fast. As she walked out to her truck, she could feel her blood boiling because she assumed that that's how this thing got away with its dirty business. Kill someone in the family then the surviving parent won't notice that their children are actually little monsters.

Dean had told her that she needed fire to burn the head changeling, so she rooted through her lock box trying to find something that would help. She wasn't sure what Sam and Dean had used, but she figured she could improvise something just as easily as either of them could. When she found her jerry can with her emergency reserve of gas, she started beaming as she formulated a plan.

Once she had all of that in place, she drove to the first house she had come across that looked empty and had a 'For Sale: Foreclosure' sign on the front lawn. After she parked, she did a quick sweep with her eyes of the area to make sure that no one was around to watch her, even though she had already come up with a cover story if anyone did stumble upon her.

As she walked to the rear of the house, she noticed that a couple of sets of lights in the basement turned on and then a few moments later they were turned off.

 _Well if no one's living here, why would the lights be used?_ She thought to herself while she worked at picking the door lock.

She was still grumbling to herself after what felt like hours, frustrated with her ineptness at lock picking when her hand slipped and hit the door handle. It flopped down and the door opened slightly.

 _And why wouldn't the door be locked?_ She thought as she slipped into the kitchen.

She quietly shut the door and secured the lock as she heard a man say, "Breaking and entering's a crime, you know?"

Before she had fully turned to face the owner of the voice, he back handed her across the face. He used so much force that she flew across the room and onto the island to her left. She wasted no time trying to regroup her thoughts and just crawled across the counter top and fell onto the floor on the other side. With a frustrated and painful grunt, she stood up to face him once again.

He stood in the same spot with a slightly shocked look saying, "Huh… You're tougher than you look."

Toni wiped away a small bit of blood that trickled out of a cut on her lip with her shirt sleeve then she nodded towards a mirror beside the kitchen table retorting, "And you're a lot less human than you look."

He looked at his reflection and when he saw his true self in the mirror he just shrugged asking, "And what are you going to do about it little girl?"

Toni didn't hesitate to verbally reply and pulled out a plastic water bottle and aimed the opening towards him. He stumbled back slightly when she squeezed it and the scent of gasoline filled the room. He instinctively tried to wipe the malodourous liquid off himself, which in the end just helped to spread the flammable liquid over his body.

As she struck a match and the lit the whole matchbook on fire, Toni finally replied, "I'll think of something" while tossing the flaming matchbook at him.

He once again tried in vain to swat it away and soon his entire body was engulfed in flames. Toni ducked behind the island until she heard the creature emit one final anguished cry. She waited another minute to ensure it was really gone before standing and then sprinting towards a door that she guessed would lead her to the basement.

It was locked, but easily flew open under the weight of her booted foot kicking it in with utter frustration. She stumbled slightly down the stairs and felt her way down the hall in the pitch black basement until her hand touched a light switch. Once the room was illuminated, she could see that this was a finished basement and there were three rooms with their doors closed.

"Hello?" She called out hoping that the kids would realize she wasn't the thing that took them and would answer her.

"In here!" A young boy's voice replied.

When she got to the door to the room where the children were being held captive, she grunted an annoyed "Fuck" at the large padlock that ensured the kids would remain secured in that room. She reached around to the small of her back before she remembered that she hadn't brought her trusty pistol with her.

"Okay… You kicked in a door once already," she reasoned quietly to herself. "I'm going to get you out of there! Just make sure that you all stay far, far away from the door!"

After a few hard kicks, the door started to splinter slightly. She refocused her energy on one edge of the door and the hinges creaked and started to finally give. When her leg got too tired to land any more effective kicks, Toni rammed her body full force into the damaged door. She wouldn't let herself lose hope and after running into it no more than half a dozen times, she fell through the door onto the floor with half of the door's wood under her body.

All but one of the children were huddled into a corner on the opposite side of the room and they all shrieked when she forced her way in. The one lone little girl that had strayed from the group walked over to Toni and carefully picked up a piece of the door that was tangled into Toni's hair.

Toni smile at her gratefully and struggled to thank her through her exhaustion saying, "Hey Isabella, I'm your Dad's friend Toni."


	18. And I Just Wanna Listen to Your Words

"Is she dead?" A young girl's voice asked sounding as if she was on the verge of tears.

The eldest boy of the group poked the unconscious adult replying, "I don't know… I think she's breathing."

Toni started to stir, so all off the kids jumped back and away from her gasping in surprise. "Fuuuck…" she grumbled quietly. "Stupidest idea…"

As she complained to herself, Toni rubbed her temples and opened her eyes. When she saw that she wasn't alone, she sat up straight and quickly apologized, "Oh shh… Crap. Sorry guys… Umm hey…"

The five kids just stared at her wide-eyed and remained completely immobile, so she tried again more cheerfully saying, "So… Who's ready to get out here and go home?"

When they all realized that her previous words of anger weren't directed at them, they all enthusiastically answered, "Me!" before running out of the room. Toni got up off the floor very slowly with the hopes that moving slowly would keep the pounding in her head from becoming incapacitating. She tried to take stock in her head of any evidence that could be detrimental to her and made sure to wipe down the light switch with her shirt sleeves before using the wall to help keep herself on her feet while she walked. Then she tried her best not to touch anything else while struggling to get up the stairs.

None of the kids were in the kitchen when Toni got there, so she attempted to move quickly to the door which caused a huge wave of nausea to hit her hard. She almost didn't make it to the sink before she started to dry heave and a small amount of liquid rose up her throat and onto the stainless steel.

"Are you okay Toni?" A quiet tentative voice called from the open back door.

Toni rinsed her mouth out then turned, slowly towards the door and smile replying, "I'll be okay Isabella… I just hit my head really hard so I'm not feeling so hot right now."

The tiny girl with jet black hair walked over to Toni and gently took her hand saying, "My Daddy will help make your owie better."

Toni couldn't help but laugh and then she burned hot with embarrassment when she realized that her version of kissing away her pain was probably much more X-Rated than Isabella's would be. Toni gave the little girl's hand a friendly squeeze without commenting and then they made their way to the front yard. The eldest boy of the group had one protective arm wrapped around the two other seven year old girls and his other around a five year old boy beside Toni's truck with an unsure look on his face.

Seeing the group huddled together, shielding each other from any other potential threats, made Toni's heart swell, much to her surprise. Before she could say anything, the group's protector said, "I know where everyone lives if that's what's scaring you."

She then caught her reflection in the passenger's side window and saw how pale she looked because of the blood loss and nausea. She could only assume that her looking like that equaled "scared" to an eleven year old boy. Toni didn't want to be overly dismissive and discount his attempts to demonstrate his strength, so she just nodded, flashed him a broad smile and unlocked the door so that they could all get in. She knew that she should probably verbally reply as well, but she still felt unsure about her ability to effectively interact with children.

When she and the eldest were the only ones left outside of the truck, Toni tentatively grasped his forearm saying, "Thanks for all you help…"

"Owen," he offered when Toni couldn't quite finish he thought.

"Owen. Thanks for taking care of all of the kids for me," she continued more confidently. "That was really brave of you and I really couldn't have done this without you."

He smiled but seemed unsure how else to accept her compliment. Toni recognized the look in his eye, so she just placed a hand on his upper back and coaxed him to the open door. She was hoping that he would know that she understood how he felt and that no other words were needed.

While the other four children slept, Owen pointed out each of their houses to the driver. Toni didn't have the strength to deal with each of their parents and her head was still pounding too hard to come up with a convincing lie, so she parked a few doors down from each of the homes before letting the kids out. She and Owen took turns waking each of the little ones up and then they kept a keen eye on them until they were engulfed in the loving embrace of their awaiting parent. None of the kids looked back towards Toni's truck once they got home and their parents seemed to be too preoccupied with relief to care how their children had been returned safely to them. Once the last child was home, Toni finally breathed a sigh of relief that everything seemed to be over and no one… Well none of the children were worse for wear.

After she parked in the driveway of the last house, Toni gently shook the tiny child beside her softly saying, "Isabella? Umm… Busy Bee? We're home… Come on… Time to wake up… Please?"

Isabella barely stirred, so Toni slipped one arm under her to try to shake her more vigorously. Isabella in turn rolled into Toni's side and snuggled in closer to her torso. Toni's free hand grabbed the door handle in a white knuckle grip while she stared down at the sleeping child while she frantically tried to figure out what she should do next.

During her slumber, Isabella slung her right arm over Toni's waist to grip her rescuer even tighter. Toni took a deep breath then stared at the ceiling of her truck thinking, _She's pretty small… It shouldn't be too difficult to carry her right? Even with this massive headache?_

She then took in a couple of deep breaths very much akin to the way she did before she fought a spirit or werewolf then turned and slipped her free arm under the little girl's legs. Just as Toni had predicted, Isabella's weight barely registered in her arms. As she made her way up the front walk, she couldn't help but laugh silently because just like each of the other four houses, the front door flew open before she had made it all the way up the stairs.

"TONI!" Kory nearly shouted. "You… you found her."

Toni smiled but before she could say anything, Isabella raised her head off Toni's shoulder and sleepily asked, "Daddy?"

"Yeah it's me Busy Bee," he tearfully replied before crushing her slightly between his and Toni's bodies when he pulled them into a hug. "Toni… Thank you."

Toni tried to offer him a reassuring touch, but it turned into her just back-handing him lightly in the stomach. "Kory… I think you might be crushing Isabella."

Kory quickly released them both with a quiet, "Sorry." Then they both snickered because they noticed that Isabella's slumber hadn't been disturbed in the slightest. The relieved father reclaimed his daughter from the hunter's arms and just hugged her close for a minute, relishing in the fact that his daughter was home safe and sound once again.

Isabella squeezed her arms around her dad's neck still deep in sleep and said, "Daddy'll make it better."

As his tears of relief fell, Toni stood up on her tip toes to kiss Kory's then Isabella's cheeks before saying in a hushed tone, "Daddy surely will. Kory why don't you get her to her bed?"

Kory almost reluctantly pried his eyes away from his daughter's serene looking face to look at Toni so he could try to reply. When he took a closer look at his friend, he finally saw the large stream of blood that flowed along her hairline and down her neck to where her shirt was struggling to absorb it all.

"Toni! You're bleeding!" He blurted out a little too loudly in his state of shock.

She raised her hand and started touching her skull until her fingers found the sticky blood. She tapped the wound a couple of times then followed the trail down her neck while she silently assessed the damage.

The longer Kory watched her, the more concerned he became, but he wanted to wait for her to speak first. When her right hand was pretty much covered in blood and she still wasn't saying anything, he tried to get her attention by asking, "Toni? Are you okay?"

Hearing the worry in Kory's voice made Toni refocus onto him quickly. She immediately smiled then replied, "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

He just gave her a skeptical look and didn't move so Toni elaborated, "Kory it's a head wound… They always look way worse than they actually are… I promise. Please don't worry. Just go, take Isabella up to bed and I'll get cleaned up and then we can all forget than any of this ever happened."

Kory gave her another uncertain look and Toni could tell that he didn't really trust her. She then hooked her arm through one of his and turned to lead him up the stairs. Kory repositioned Isabella so that she was balanced onto one of his hips and then he wrapped his now free arm around Toni's waist. At the top of the stairs he moved to kiss Toni's temple, but stopped when he remembered that it was still covered in blood.

Instead he just quietly told her, "There's a first aid kit under the sink in the Ensuite. This one is a bit of a Tomboy so I always keep it fully stocked."

Kory then turned to his right to carry Isabella to her room and tuck her into bed. When Toni got into the bathroom and was finally able to properly survey the extent of her wound, she started to feel mildly guilty. She was used to seeing herself with this much damage inflicted somewhere on herself, sometimes it was much worse than this, but she knew that Kory wasn't at all. She was also aware of how much Kory cared about her, so she knew that seeing her like this would worry him unduly.

She cleaned the trail of blood that ran from her face to collarbone with her soiled shirt the best that she could then dropped it at her feet without paying much more attention to it. While she was washing away the dried blood and taking a closer look at the wound in the mirror, Kory appeared behind her in the doorway.

"Hey Toni I brought up your duffle bag for you," he announced without making eye contact with her reflection in the mirror.

Toni wasn't sure if he was feeling shy now because he didn't want to see the damage the creature had inflicted on her head or if it was because she was now only wearing her blood stained white lacey bra. Either way, Toni started to feel slightly uncomfortable too and kept her eyes focused only on her hairline in the mirror. She retrieved another facecloth from a drawer and continued to wash the rest of the blood away while they stood there awkwardly in silence for a moment.

Kory finally broke the deafening silence by more timidly asking, "Did… Did it hurt you badly?"

Toni turned to look at him before pointing at her head and replying with a slightly humorous tone, "Oh this? No, this wound is self-inflicted… Should be an easy enough fix." She then pointed at her fat lip and its accompanying scabbed over cut and continued with the same light tone of voice, "He wasn't all that tough because he only got the one hit in."

Kory shook his head as he snickered at her joke with the full knowledge of what Toni was trying to do at this moment in time. Toni in turn recognized the look that clouded Kory's eye and knew that he wouldn't stand for it much longer and she couldn't continue the same way she was attempting to. He was going to call her on it at any second and she hated it when he called her bluff before she was able to get the full smoke and mirrors screen put up.

She quickly took her bag from him, saying in a much more serious, almost exasperated tone, "I have something in my bag that'll do the trick to patch me up. Thanks for bringing it up by the way."

As soon as her bag was in her hands, she spun around on her heel and put it on the counter. While she searched through her bag, Kory watched her with a bit of sadness. He hadn't meant to annoy her with his genuine concern, but he should have known her well enough to know that he would. She continued to disinfect the cut with peroxide then rinsed it with a clean facecloth before she almost rammed her forehead into the mirror while trying to get a closer look at the area she had just finished cleaning.

When Kory heard a quiet and very angry "Fuck! That's just fucking great!" he hesitantly asked, "Toni? Is there… Is something wrong?"

Toni was still concentrating on her wound so intently that she didn't answer as she turned and started shuffling through the contents of her bag asking no one in particular, "Where are my fucking tweezers."

Kory stepped up behind her and deliberately pressed his body against her while he pulled a drawer to their right open. As he lifted the tweezers up and out of the drawer, he shoved his hip forward while stating with his own firm and somewhat annoyed tone, "Here. This should do the trick, right?"

Toni again felt more than ashamed about her behavior and before she could thank him, she apologized with an amazingly remorseful tone, "Kory… I didn't mean to… I'm just used to… I'm so sorry; I don't mean to be such a bitch, but…"

He ran his now free hands slowly up and down her ribcage interrupting her and somewhat imploring, "You're injured… And I know what happened wasn't a walk in the park… But you don't have to… Just don't be a tough guy with me right now, okay? I'm here to help, so let me help you with what I can."

Toni nodded and her hard swallow was almost audible before Kory retreated from invading her personal space. Toni inwardly scolded herself quickly then turned to face her friend and held up her right hand.

He looked confused until Toni explained the peace offering she was trying to extend, "I can't really see it from this angle, but I definitely felt a splinter in the cut while I was cleaning it…" She paused and couldn't help but try to make light of the situation by finishing with, "Since you're so much taller than me and all, I was hoping you could see it and pull it out… You know, so that I won't get a massive infection and get brain damage of something."

Kory took the tweezers from her without attempting to hide his sourpuss face in response to her joke, but did refrain from narrating any portion of his internal dialogue. Instead he just said, "Here let me take a look… Just tilt your head this way so I can see it under the light."

She complied without any further commentary, but couldn't stop the involuntary hiss that escaped her lips while he pulled out the two inch long sliver. Kory wanted to lean down and kiss the pain away like he had for Isabella on so many occasions, but then he saw the small blob of blood that emerged once the wood was removed. He quickly snatched up one of the facecloths Toni had been using and thrust it against her head.

When he took a moment to inspect the object he had carefully removed from Toni's head, he inadvertently exclaimed, "Holy shit Toni! Where the hell did you get that from?"

Toni suppressed her laughter at his reaction because for her this really wasn't something to get that hysterical about as she flippantly explained, "From a door." Kory didn't seem satisfied, so she explained in further detail, "The kids were locked in a room and I had to force my way in."

She had once again turned back to the mirror and started taping and gluing up her wound before Kory was able to fully register everything she had just said. He then watched her in amazed fascination as she worked at stopping the blood and ensured that the wound was properly covered so that it could heal properly. When she was putting the finishing touches on her handy-work, Kory once again approached Toni.

The touch of his lips on the side of her neck made Toni jump ever so slightly in surprise because she had been focused so intently on herself that she hadn't noticed Kory approaching her.

"Thank you," he stated with loving firmness into her flesh as he continued to kiss it.

"Really… Kory… It's… Noth…" Toni tried to reply offhandedly through her aroused breathing as Kory's hands ran over her flesh with the perfect amount of force to excite it.

"No, it IS something," he countered. When his touch rendered her speechless, he turned her around almost too roughly so that they were face to face asserting, "You are amazing… Why do you doubt that and try to play it down?"

Before she could offer her usual dismissive reply, Kory kissed her hungrily. Toni had barely caught on to what he was doing when he lifted her onto the counter. Once he pulled their bodies closer together, Toni had regained her faculties enough to try to attain the dominant position of the embrace.

This was a back and forth game that they had both grown used to during their three year, on again off again, relationship at school. Toni only let Kory think that he won the upper hand back then from time to time because she was too competitive to actually let him win. Kory of course thought that he had legitimately beat her at her own game, just as he thought that he was going to be the sole decision maker for the pace of this amorous scene right now. Once Toni realized that she wasn't going to be able to regain control by the usual means, she didn't hesitate to play dirty.

"Ow… Ow…" She complained softly as she tried to push out of their embrace.

As soon as he heard the pained noise, Kory immediately shoved himself a full arm's length back and hyperventilated to catch his breath so he could say, "Shit… Sorry… Sorry… What'd I hurt?"

Toni gave him an exaggerated pout then touched her lip with her forefinger right where her newly acquired cut was and coquettishly said, "He split my lip… It's a pretty bad owie… I think you should kiss it better."

Kory quirked a playful eyebrow and then leaned in close to Toni's face once again. In anticipation of what was to come, Toni closed her eyes and held her breath. Kory was more than willing to play this game, but he was determined to make sure that he played it by his own rules, so instead of kissing Toni on the lips, he kissed the spot on her chin just below the damage.

"I think I should too," he huskily replied before he licked the length of her bottom lip then kissed each corner of her mouth. He kissed a few spots around her mouth, but avoided full contact with her lips.

While he continued to tease her, Toni worked at unbuttoning his shirt as she whimpered, "Kory… Please…?"

He leaned back to remove his shirts and took a moment to drink in the look he had managed to put on Toni's face. When she started to slowly open her eyes, he went in for the kill and mashed his lips against hers. Once she started to match his pace perfectly, Kory removed her bra so that he could lavish the same affection all over her torso. At first Toni just panted with need and massaged his scalp appreciatively. But then she wanted more so she undid her jeans then reached down and pulled his face back up to hers.

As she kissed him, she murmured, "It's all better… Need you now…"

He tried not to, but Kory still sputtered a quick laugh at her achingly needy tone. Toni didn't seem to notice because she just continued to work at unfastening Kory's belt and pants. He was now trying to remove her jeans so Toni braced herself to lift her lower half off the counter top then he made quick work of disposing her pants and underwear onto the floor.

Once he was done, she pulled their lips together again and Kory completed the task of undressing himself. Toni tried her best to guide Kory to the final act of this play, but he gently removed her hand and held both or her wrists in his left hand.

To show her frustration, Toni bent down slightly and sunk her teeth into his collarbone. Kory hissed in a breath then replied, "Whoa… Just needed… To get… This…" as he produced a small foil package from behind Toni's head.

She had already started to softly lick and kiss the mark she made ordering, "Hurry… Or next time I draw blood."

Kory paused to look her in the eye and gauge how serious she was about her threat. When he saw no humor in her face and she bore her teeth slightly to illustrate her point, Kory hastily complete his task then pulled her midsection towards his. As he joined her body with his own, Toni threw her head back in ecstasy where it immediately connected with the mirror behind her.

They both didn't seem to notice, but Kory still wrapped her legs around his waist and picked her up off the counter. While he walked to the door, Toni made sure to keep her hips moving to keep their pleasure building.

Kory struggled under her ministrations to make it to the bed without giving into his bodies desire to collapse. His knees started to buckle and they lost all contact as he dropped Toni on the bed. Before she could register the lack of contact, Kory climbed on top of her and thrust back into her with an almost brutal force.

"Sorry," he panted against her skin. "Thought you'd be more comfortable here."

Toni was too lost in her feelings of pure bliss to offer any response and soon Kory was rendered completely mute as well. She wanted to scream, to let the whole block know the masterful job her partner was doing, but as she climaxed she was having such a hard time catching her breath that no sound could escape her lips.

"So… Should I be worried about a concussion?" Kory asked softly before kissing Toni's bare left shoulder. "You know, wake you up every hour and so on?"

Toni rolled her head, but kept her body lying face down on the bed as she snorted in a laugh replying, "No, I'm good… Hell, my headache's even gone."

He kissed her shoulder again as he pulled the covers up to her waist. As he gently stroked the scars that he had kissed he tenderly observed, "These look like they would have been beyond painful when you got them."

"They weren't that bad… I was pretty lucky and passed out pretty much after it attacked me."

"And 'it' was what exactly? Because they kind of looks like talons or claws made them."

Toni shook her head against the pillow saying, "Nope… You'll never believe me… Plus you're too sweet and innocent to be tainted with this knowledge."

Kory bunched up her hair and kissed nearly every inch of her back asking "Please?" after each embrace. When he was satisfied that he had touched practically any part of the exposed skin of Toni's back with his lips, Kory moved back to his side of the bed.

"Please?" He asked softly again before pouting at her.

Toni just kept shaking her head saying "Nope" and "Nuh uh" after each request. Kory then leaned in and kissed her, sucking on her bottom lip as he pulled back to lie against his pillow again.

"Werewolf," she breathlessly answered the second he released her lip.

Her eyes flew open as soon as she realized that she had confessed the truth. When she tried to hide behind her hair, Kory quickly pushed it back off her face.

"Really?" He asked as he raked his fingers through her hair and made sure that it was off her shoulder so he could pet her scar again.

Toni rolled onto her right side to allow her to look at him more easily. She didn't care about being modest or trying to cover up her nakedness, so Kory took it upon himself to pull the comforter over her shoulder.

"Yeah… But then she took a silver bullet to the heart so she got the worse end of the deal," she finished shyly as she traced the logo on his t-shirt.

"Huh… So your tattoo…? Does that mean that you like worship Satan or something?"

"What?" Toni exclaimed softly as she pulled the covers tight up under her chin. "No! No… That's for protection," she explained while shaking her head emphatically. "One of the first things I learned was that we know fuck all about pentagrams in the 'real world'… They seriously have gotten a bum rap."

"Oh… Wow… Well… Either way… I think tattoos are seriously sexy," he commented with a shrug.

Toni leaned over him and let the covers fall off her shoulder to kiss him and replied, "I know that… But what…"

She stopped suddenly when she heard a soft knock at the door. Just as it cracked open, she snatched up the covers and pulled them as tightly around herself as she could. She had a terrified look on her face, but Kory tried to calm her fears by petting her cheek lovingly and mouthing, "It's okay."

"Daddy?" Isabella called out in a hushed yell. "Daddy, are you awake?"

Kory was already fully clothed, so he rolled off the bed and made his way to his daughter saying "I sure am Busy Bee. Did you have a bad dream?"

As soon as he picked her up, he heard her quiet sniffle in reply. She didn't say anything to him and just wrapped her arms tightly around his neck nodding vigorously. Kory gently stroked her hair whispering comforting words as he tried to calm her tears.

Before he let go of her, Kory sat down with Isabella on his lap and asked, "Can you tell Daddy what your nightmare was about?"

She shuddered a bit and then took in a deep breath. "Damon was really mean to Elena and he even tried to eat her," she explained just barely over a whisper into her Dad's neck.

"Damon? Elena? Busy Bee who are they?"

She started crying harder and shook her head knowing that her Dad wouldn't be happy with her if she gave him a full explanation.

"Isabella," he cautioned with quiet sternness in that hopes that she would crack easily.

"From 'The Vampire Diaries' Daddy… I… I snuck in one night and watched when Candice fell asleep on the couch… I'm so sorry Daddy… I know I wasn't supposed to…"

Kory chuckled softly and kissed her head trying to further calm his laughter as he rocked her in his lap. "It's okay Pumpkin… But now you know why Daddy doesn't want you watching shows like that, right?"

She nodded and whispered another, "I'm sorry Daddy."

He sat her up off his shoulder so he could kiss her cheek then accepted her apology saying, "It's okay Isabella… But no more sneaking out of bed to watch TV okay?"

She nodded agreeing, "Okay."

He kissed her forehead again then stood up to tuck her into bed. "Also… Just remember Busy Bee, that's just a TV show… None of that is real, so they can't hurt you."

"Okay Daddy," she agreed as she snuggled under the covers with her favorite stuffed animal.

"Good… And Daddy will stay here 'til you fall back asleep. Now, close your eyes and try to picture what it'll be like when you're crowned Princess…" He trailed off while he petted her hair because that was usually the key to calming her mind so that she could have her usual, happier dreams.

As he stood up, Isabella froze him in his spot by asking, "Daddy? Did Toni have a bad dream? Because you could give her Flopsy to protect her for the night."

Kory knelt down again beside his daughter's bed and tucked the stuffed rabbit toy with long, over-sized ears back under the blanket with her saying, "That's sweet of you, but Flopsy's here to protect you."

She scowled softly then offered, "You could lend her Horton… He could keep her safe, I guess."

Kory picked up the floppy elephant plush toy then turned to Isabella saying, "Okay, I'll take her Horton. That's really generous of you. You have the kindest heart Busy Bee. I love you too much. Now… It's way past your bedtime so time to sleep, okay?"

When she didn't reply, he double checked that she was in fact sleeping then gave her one more kiss on her forehead before getting up to leave. He walked to the end of her bed to replace the toy in its rightful place on her dresser. Just as he was ensuring that 'Horton' was with his friends, he heard the distinctive sound of his front door closing.

It only took two small steps to get to the window that overlooked the front yard. There he saw Toni stumbling to get her boots on at the bottom of his front stairs. She was fumbling to do up the zipper on her right boot while holding her left boot and duffle bag in one of her hands.

"Toni!" He called out in a hushed yell after he got Isabella's window open. "Toni!"

He knew that she had heard him because he saw freeze in her spot before continuing to put on her left boot. He was going to try calling out to her again, but once she had her second boot zippered and was standing up straight, Toni sprinted full speed to her truck with her bag and jacket in hand.

As soon as she was in the driver's seat of her pickup, her taillights illuminated and her vehicle started moving down the street. Kory closed the window slowly and watched until her taillights faded into the darkness of the night.

Kory kissed his daughter's head one more time and told her that he loved her quietly before turning to leave. He wanted to delay returning to his room for as long as possible because he already knew what he would most likely find in there. On more than one occasion when Toni had wanted to take a break from their relationship, but didn't know how to tell him, she would take off when he stepped out of his room for a short while with a long winded note on his pillow telling him all of the reasons why she needed some time away from him for an unknown amount of time. The page would be filled with excuses like she had fallen behind in her classes and needed to play catch up or that she was heading home for a spell to see her mother or brothers, but she always ended her letter with BUT I'LL SEE YOU SOON LOVE TONI, so he had always held the hope back then that his loyalty would one day be rewarded.

Now he knew that circumstances were different, but that still didn't keep him from feeling crushed when he saw the yellow piece of paper folded in half on his pillow. He was tempted just to throw it out, but his curiosity got the best of him and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to see what excuses she had for him this time around.

When Kory picked up the paper to read it, instead of a full page apology, Toni's sentiments were summed up in less than twelve words.

KORY… I'M SO SORRY… I SHOULDN'T HAVE… I'M SORRY. GOODBYE KORY.

Toni wouldn't allow herself to stop for any reason until she had finally exited the State of Illinois because deep down she knew that that really wasn't how she wanted this job to end. But if she was completely honest to herself, somewhere in her heart she knew that the moment her dad said, "He said his name was Kory Turner", she had hoped that the night's activities would come to pass just exactly as they had a few hours earlier. Toni was still licking her wounds in response to the last time she had interacted with Sam and she had hoped that being with Kory would ease that pain. She hadn't factored into the equation that Kory wasn't the exact same man that she had used in the past when she need to feel that someone loved her. Now Kory had a daughter and a full life that she had no right to invade with her own issues of insecurity. Right now she hated herself for not actually dealing with her feelings before seeing Kory because all it did was complicate that everything that much more and now she felt guilty for not being honest with the man that loved her or the man that she loved.

" _Toni? It's late… Is everything alright?"_

"Yeah, sorry… Everything is fine… I'm sorry I woke you Dad," she apologized quietly as she looked over her road map once again. "But I just wanted to keep you in the loop and all."

He chuckled softly then replied, _"Well, I did ask you to do that, didn't I? So how did everything go? Did you vanquish the spirit?"_

"Umm… No, Sir… It wasn't a spirit… It was… Umm… Something else, but yeah, I killed it and everything has gone back to normal for them," she explained somewhat hesitantly.

" _That's great Angel… Really, I'm so proud of you."_

Before he could continue bestowing her with more compliments, Toni cut in saying, "Thanks Dad, but that's not why I called and woke you up."

Her dad cleared his throat then asked in a very serious tone, _"Oh, okay. What did you need to discuss with me Toni?"_

"Well…" She started timidly. "You know how you keep telling me that I've been working too hard and that that time off I took with you probably wasn't enough?"

" _Yes Angel, I'm not so old that I don't remember that."_

"Well I was thinking that I might just take your advice. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but… Well Vanessa has been getting on me to visit her since she had her baby and all… So…"

" _So that sounds like a great plan. Have fun while you're with her, but Toni? Don't forget about me while you're with her, alright?"_

"Dad, I could never forget about you. I'll call you when I get there and once I know a better time line for whatever else I might be doing, you'll be the first to know. I love you so much Dad. Really, you… You don't know how much your pep talks lately have meant to me."

The Colonel paused for a moment, still not used to hearing his daughter being so open about her feelings. Then he choked back a sob and replied, _"I love you too Angel. Drive safe."_


	19. I'd Like to Step Into Your World

"I was with them for a year… Lay and Toby that is," Dean admitted to the windshield.

Sam's head whipped around to look away from his phone to Dean's face asking, "A year?"

Dean simply nodded in reply without taking his eyes off the road and offering any other explanation.

"So then what?" Sam inquired as he demonstrated that he obviously was not satisfied with Dean's short and concise reasoning.

"Didn't work out," his brother once again replied bluntly. He then quirked an eyebrow and added, "After she bowed out from hunting because… Well after she bowed out, Lay kicked me out and I've never been one to argue with her reasoning… But the three of us… We're good…"

Dean then turned up the music to indicate that their conversation was over, so Sam didn't push the topic any further. He instead returned his attention to his phone, almost hoping that it would yield some clues as to what had happened while he was away from his brother. In his contact's list, he saw all of the usual names of hunters and classmates from school that he for some reason couldn't delete from his SIM card. As he continued, he then saw her name… Four short letters that held more weight for him than all Ten Commandments combined.

He waited until the tape finished and caught Dean off guard as he exchange this tape for another.

"Who's Toni?" Sam asked while keeping his attention on everything that was passing his window to his right.

Dean was so stunned by the question the he was barely able to cover up his surprise as he tried to nonchalantly reply, "Dude, how should I know? It's your phone… Are you sure it isn't some guy you knew back at school?"

Sam clenched his jaw and tersely answered, "Yeah, I'm sure. There was no GUY from school with that name… I deleted her number way back when…"

By this time the cassette tape had started playing again, so Sam refrained from shouting over his brother's music to finish his thought. Instead, he just stared at her name and wondered how it was still in his phone… Or how it had reappeared there at least. Then he checked the actual contact information that was attached to her name and thought, _That wasn't her number… What the fuck is going on?_

After Dean had left for San Francisco, Sam tried to keep his focus on the task at hand so that he could try to figure out where they would find their dragon. But despite these efforts his mind kept wandering and he almost called her number on a couple of occasions, just to find out if those ten digits would connect him to the woman he thought they would. Thankfully, Bobby called while Sam was once again going over some flaky description of some dragon lore because Sam was just about ready to toss his laptop against the motel room wall if he had to read one more World of Warcraft version of how he could save a young girl's life.

Bobby sounded very distracted during the conversation, but Sam knew deep down how many other hunters relied heavily on Bobby's help as well, so Sam tried to let his feelings of discomfort go. At the end of the day, he knew that he and everyone else had a job to do and that had to take top priority. If they had to be short with one another then it was most likely a result of the stress of the job and had nothing to do with anything personal. Sam tried to remind himself that in his case there was no way it could be personal because he had been in Hell for over a year… Hadn't he? How could he have done anything to make Bobby distrust him?

"Castiel… Umm… I'm back. So… If you got a minute…" Sam prayed while still sitting at the table where he had been continuing his research.

"Sam, it's good to see you alive."

"Yeah… You too," Sam replied standing up to greet the Angel and sounding somewhat unsure.

Castiel took a couple of steps towards Sam with his arms outstretched. Sam quickly diverted his gaze and sat back down stumbling to say, "Umm… Look… I… I would hug you, but…"

"That would be awkward," Castiel cut in as quickly retracted his hands.

"Umm… What a crazy year, huh? I… I… I just talked to Bobby. He… He told me everything that happened," Sam stated hesitantly in an attempt to change the subject.

"Frankly I'm surprised that you survived. I was begging Dean not to do it."

"Yeah, no I… I… I can understand that."

The angel didn't notice the look of confusion on the human's face as he continued, "You know, it's a miracle it didn't kill you."

Sam tried his best to continue as if he completely understood what Castiel was referring to as he agreed, "Yeah. Yeah, it's a miracle alright."

"So how does it feel?"

"What?"

"Well, you have your soul back of course," Castiel stated straightforwardly.

"Right," Sam answered while trying not to show his surprise or confusion. "Y-You mean 'cause I was walking around with no soul. Uhh… Really good Cas. I'm real good. You know what? I'm… I'm hazy on a few details thought. Umm… You think maybe you could… Walk me through?"

Castiel sat down at the table, nodding as he replied, "Yes, of course Sam. I'll try to answer any questions that you have."

The Angel watched as Sam pulled his phone out and started pressing buttons. Castiel was going to tell Sam that he did not possess the knowledge or expertise to assist him with any issues that Sam was having with his phone, but he waited for the human to ask his questions in silence just the same.

As Sam turned the display screen towards Castiel, he asked, "Could you maybe explain who sent these and why?"

Castiel took the cell phone to examine the messages to which Sam referred. Under the heading 'Toni Cell' he read: "I'M GONNA KILL U IN YOUR SLEEP!" Then "Where the fuck are you?" "No CRAP!" There were other messages, but Castiel already knew the circumstances under which Sam had received them, so he didn't bother reading the rest.

"I believe they would be from when you worked a job with Antonia in Mississippi," Cast replied while handing Sam back his phone.

"Antonia? You… You don't mean Toni McNamara do you?" Sam asked as he looked over the text messages again and then chuckled to himself.

"Yes that would be the name you are accustomed to calling her," Castiel answered as he watched Sam with a questioning look on his face. "Is there something amusing about you working with Antonia?"

Sam eyes slowly lifted from his cell phone to Castiel's face as he smiled to himself then answered, "Yeah… Well no. It's just that… Well knowing that these are from Toni, I can just imagine what was happening… You know, why she was upset with me and all?"

"She is quite a spirited woman," Castiel observed.

"Ha! Yeah that's one way to describe her… So would you by any chance know any of the details of that job?"

"Yes Sam, I do…"

                                     *****************************************************************************************************************

"So Toni, what did you feel like having for dinner?"

Toni shifted her cloth grocery bag from one shoulder to the other before she sheepishly answered, "Vanessa, you don't have to make me anything special… I'll just have whatever you and Joe would normally make… That's all I want."

Vanessa gently rocked the sleeping eighteen month old in her arms then scolded her friend saying, "Toni you've been force to eat Joe's cooking for the past week, so I owe you a proper meal."

"Oh, it wasn't that bad," Toni lied, not wanting to tell her hostess that she had been the primary chef while Vanessa was tending to her sick baby.

As they continued past a glass display case, Vanessa threw Toni a cautioning look and Toni kept from offering any other objections. Instead she started back 'window shopping' alongside of Vanessa, pretending that she was fully invested in planning out the meal of the evening. Even though she and her dad had a comfortable domestic routine when Toni was home, she still felt a mild level of unease about being a part of Vanessa's family unit.

"Ooh! How about crab cakes?" Vanessa asked so enthusiastically that she woke up her sleeping baby.

Toni was just about to answer when the tiny human erupted into a loud wailing cry. The infant's mother produced a bottle from her diaper bag so quickly that Toni hadn't had a chance to offer to help in any way. As the baby devoured the contents of the bottle, Vanessa continued down the walkway to her previously intended destination as if nothing had happened. Toni had to jog to catch up with her friend because Vanessa moved with such ease even though she was also tending to her fussy baby.

"So how does the crab meat look to you? I think it looks amazing… You are going to love my crab cakes," Vanessa cheerfully commented as she placed the bottle back in her bag and patted the infant gently on the back. Before Toni had a chance to say anything, Vanessa was placing her order with the man behind the counter.

Toni had been put in charge of carrying and paying for their purchases, so she exchanged some cash for the seafood then placed it in the bag with the rest of their supplies on her shoulder. By the time Toni turned to ask her friend where they were heading to next, Vanessa had already traveled two stalls over and was placing her order with that merchant. Toni once again jogged to meet the energetic mother and quickly paid for that purchase as well.

"Alright, so I think that we've almost got everything we need for dinner… Now what about for breakfast…?" Vanessa said as she shifted the contents of their grocery bag around while it was still on Toni's shoulder. When she looked up, she saw that her companion was staring at her with a strange look on her face prompting the mother to question apprehensively, "What? Crap! Did Stephanie spit up on me again?"

Toni shook her head to get herself out of her daze as she replied, "No… No it's nothing like that… It's just… How do you make it look so easy?"

"Make what look so easy?"

"All of this," Toni answered pointing from the baby to the bag on her shoulder. "You make being a mom look fun even when you must be beyond exhausted. Seriously I just don't know how you do it."

Vanessa chuckled then pivoted on her heel to continue shopping before saying, "Are you kidding me? This is a walk in the park compared to what you do… I mean you put your life on the line to save perfect strangers; I'm just taking care of my daughter. You know… Oh… Crap…"

"What? What's wrong?" Toni inquired gripping her friend's arm a little too tightly while trying not to panic.

"Ugh, you totally lied! Stephanie did spit up in my hair!" Vanessa exclaimed. Before Toni had mentally caught up with the mother, Vanessa was placing her sleeping baby into Toni's arms explaining, "Okay the restrooms are down this way… I'll just be a minute and then I'll meet you by the fresh fruit."

Toni stared at the tiny child in her arms then before looking up she called out, "No Vanessa I… I…" As soon as she had to lifted her gaze, Toni stopped herself because Vanessa had already disappeared.

Her eyes quickly snapped back down to Stephanie because she heard the baby starting to sputter out a soft cry. "Shit… No, no, no, no, no…" She pleaded quietly. "Please? Don't cry Stephie, don't cry. Please? Shh… Shh… Please!"

As Toni bounced Stephanie in her arms, she started to pace and continued to quietly plead with the baby to stop crying. She jumped a little when she felt someone gently touch her back, but she kept her eyes solely focused on the baby that was wailing loudly.

"Do you need a hand Miss?" A gentle voice asked from behind her.

"Oh God, yes please!" Toni replied, not attempting in the least to hide her sense of relief. "There's a bottle in the diaper bag… Could you hand it to me, please?"

"Sure," he replied with a soft chuckle. It didn't take him long to find one of the full bottles and handed it to her with a soft, "Here you go."

"Awesome!" She exclaimed snatching it out of his hand. "Here Stephie. Please work, please work…"

Toni sighed loudly then smiled brightly when the infant took the bottle and her cries were immediately silenced. She didn't pry her eyes away from Stephanie's face for fear that this peace was just fleeting and that Stephanie would start crying again with a renewed vigor.

"She's a beautiful baby," Toni's savior commented in a hushed tone to avoid disturbing the infant from his new place at Toni's side.

Toni chuckled softly then replied, "Yeah, she is… When she isn't screaming bloody murder that is… Thanks again…"

Toni finally lifted her eyes to finish her grateful statement, but instead she gasped out a surprised, "Sam?"

After hearing his name, he looked over at her and muttered his own stunned, "Toni? And you have a… Wow… But honestly, she's gorgeous."

"Thanks Sam." Toni started feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "But…"

"Seriously Toni? I leave you for like two minutes and you're already hitting on some hot guy?" Vanessa playfully admonished her friend upon her return.

Both Sam and Toni turned towards Vanessa, but before they could make any attempts to defend themselves, she nearly shouted, "Sam! Oh my God! Sam Winchester? Is that really you?"

Before he could confirm his identity, Vanessa pulled him into a crushing hug. "Sam, it has been too damn long!"

"Yeah," Sam agreed with an uncomfortable chuckle. "It has."

She pushed back on his chest then gave it a playful slap saying, "And the years certainly have been good to you."

"Thanks Vanessa… You're looking well too," Sam replied somewhat shyly.

As Vanessa reclaimed her child from Toni's arms, she happily commented, "You got her to eat again. Thank God… Her appetite is finally coming back."

Sam stared at the two women as they repositioned their bags and the baby then said in a confused tone, "Oh… She's… she's yours Vanessa?"

Vanessa looked over at him then laughed loudly. "Sam! You should know our Toni well enough to know that already."

He chuckled uneasily then agreed, "Yeah, yeah I guess that I should."

"So Sam? What brings you to Portland?" Toni quickly asked with the hopes that she could change the subject and take their focus off herself.

"Oh… Umm… I just have this… Uhh job that I'm working on," he explained awkwardly.

Toni watched him as he carefully chose his words. He genuinely seemed to be at a loss to find a way to explain why he found himself on the West Coast, so she bluntly asked, "If you and Dean are working a job, then where's he hiding?"

Sam was so stunned by her question that he was momentarily at a loss for words. "Dean? Well… He had to check in with a source down in San Francisco… And I was still looking into a few leads up here…"

Vanessa looked between them and didn't seem to notice the tension that resided in the muscles of Toni's upper back as she asked, "So does that mean that you're stuck up here alone for dinner?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," Sam answered not fully catching onto her true intentions.

"Perfect! Then you'll come over to my place for a home cooked meal!" She proclaimed in such a way that there was no chance for Sam to protest or decline her invitation. "Sam, give Toni your phone. Toni, you put my number and everything in there. If you need directions just give me a call."

Sam absentmindedly handed over his phone and Toni almost reluctantly followed her orders as well. Vanessa smiled smugly to herself then continued down the walkway and called over her shoulder, "Dinner's at seven sharp. See you then!"

Toni was finishing typing the last of Vanessa's details as Sam laughed and asked, "How has she always been able to do that?"

"I think she might actually be a witch," Toni joked in return before looking up at him and remembering who the man standing beside her actually was. She then swallowed hard, thrust her hand out to return his phone to him and more seriously replied, "She just really hates taking no for an answer… But you don't have to come… I can always cover for you and say that something came up with this job or something else."

Sam wrapped his hand around hers so that they were both holding his phone and sincerely answered, "No, no it's okay. It's been a long time since I've had a meal that consisted of something other than diner food, so a home cooked meal sounds great." He then noticed the uncomfortable look on Toni's face and added, "Unless… Unless there's some other reason you don't want me to go…"

She shook her head, smiling with some unease and answered, "No, it's fine. Why would it bother me at all? I guess that means we'll see you for seven then."

Before he could say anything else, Toni slipped her hand out of his grasp then sprinted towards Vanessa's current location. Sam shook his head sadly even though he didn't know the exact reason why Toni was hurting, but he also understood that she wasn't going to jump at the chance to discuss it with him. He still remained determine to make it up to her somehow and he knew it wasn't going to be easy because she could be just as stubborn as his brother sometimes, but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try.

After paying the cab driver, Sam picked up the two bouquets of flowers and bottle of wine he had brought with him and then stood on the sidewalk just staring at the Walker's front door. He figured that as long as he and Toni were both guests in the Walker's home that Toni would refrain from shutting him out much to keep from being overtly rude. He knew that all he needed was a moment alone with her to explain everything and to apologize. Even if she didn't accept, at least he'd have one of his many apologies completed and out of the way.

"Toni, you look gorgeous," Vanessa teased when she caught Toni covertly checking her reflection in a window pane. "Stop worrying so much about that, Sam's totally going to fall for you again."

"What?" Toni questioned with a nervous laugh as she pulled down some plates from the cupboard. "What are you talking about? I wasn't checking myself out… And of course he'll fall for me, what guy wouldn't?" Toni joked trying to cover up her nervousness.

"Sure you weren't… Sure… And so modest to boot… Either way, I'm going to go look in on Stephanie. Could you do me a favor and check on the crab and salmon cakes after you're done setting the table?"

"Of course," Toni replied even though Vanessa had already exited the room.

As she tended to the meal, Toni heard the doorbell ring then Vanessa's husband called out that he would answer it. Toni tried to continue slicing some vegetables for the salad, but her hands started shaking so violently from her nervous anticipation that she had to stop for fear of slicing one or more of her fingers. In an attempt to stop their movement, she stared at her hands for a few minutes then took in a deep breath while willing herself to calm down.

_Come on Toni, deep breath. It's just dinner. You can get through this… How long can it take? An hour? Maybe two? No big deal… You just need to get through this._

By the time she had finished coaching herself, Toni could hear the other three in another room having a cheerful conversation and laughing heartily. Even though she had calmed herself down considerably, Toni stayed in the kitchen busying herself with any other prep work that she could find that would delay her having to see Sam again.

Vanessa entered the room still laughing loudly at whatever joke or anecdote one of the males had told and then passed the wine bottle to Toni saying, "Why don't you open the wine and pour us each a glass?" When Toni hesitated she added, "I'm pretty sure you've made enough salad to feed an army… Now no more hiding in the kitchen… Sam didn't come all this way just to visit with me and my beau… Plus, he brought you these."

She held up one of the bouquets of Toni's favorite flowers causing Toni to blush brightly. "I just wanted to make sure that I had everything done for dinner, I wasn't hiding," Toni defended herself as she passed Vanessa two filled glasses and made her way to the living room.

Before Toni left the room, she stopped at the door and called over her shoulder with a wink, "So you coming or what Walker?"

They met the men in the living room and after Toni passed Sam his glass, she quickly found a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table from him. Her gut instinct was to put as much space (and furniture) between herself and Sam as possible, but once she was seated comfortably on the hearth of the fireplace, she noticed that this position made it nearly impossible for her not to look at him during their conversation. And then she realized that it gave him an easy, unobstructed view of her, which she could feel him taking full advantage of any chance that he could. The two of them inevitably caught each other's eye during the prerequisite catching up about everything that they each had been doing during their time apart, but Toni quickly hid behind her wine glass or found some other way to distract herself from Sam's gaze.

When she had the chance and thought she wouldn't get caught, Toni allowed her gaze to linger on Sam as she thought, _Is it just me or… Or is this a different Sam? No… NO TONI! No… That's just wishful thinking you idiot! Don't do that to yourself._

"Toni! Toni? Is everything okay?" Vanessa asked loudly, just barely able to hold in her undeniable urge to burst into fits of laughter.

Toni's eyes snapped over to her host and hostess as she quickly replied, "I… I think it smells like dinner is ready. Is anyone else hungry?"

Vanessa just smiled then quietly agreed with her before ordering the men to retire to the dining room while they finished with getting the meal ready. Sam almost tried to offer to help the ladies, but it only took one look from Vanessa to silence his proposition before he could say it aloud. He then obediently followed Joe to the dining room without a single word spoken between himself and Vanessa.

Toni was pulling a couple of dishes out of the oven while Vanessa cheerfully teased, "So I was right! You still want him… And bad!"

Before turning around fully to look at her friend, Toni bit back a tear filled sob and was just barely able to keep her voice steady as she pleaded, "Vanessa? Please don't say anything to him? Please… Pretty, pretty please? Some really messed up stuff has happened since we last spoke and now… Well now I KNOW that things will never work… Between Sam and I that is…" When she thought that her friend was going to try to joke and make light of the situation, Toni finally allowed some of her raw emotion to show in her voice as she continued her plea, "Please Vanessa? I just don't think that I could go… Not again… Not…"

Vanessa abruptly turned Toni around in her place to pull her into a tight, loving hug replying, "Oh… My… God… I'm so sorry! I really didn't know Sweets… I wouldn't have pushed so hard if I knew that he had broken your heart… Oh God, Sweets you'll be okay, right?"

While still being held in her friends arms, Toni moved her head up and down then side to side saying, "It's okay… I'm okay… But I should have told you before now… Sorry Vee…"

After releasing Toni from her bone crushing hug, Vanessa very earnestly proposed, "You know, now that Stephanie is over her flu, I think you and I HAVE to go for a girl's night so we can do a proper catch up… Deal?" Toni nodded and smiled then Vanessa asked with a slight bit of concern in her voice, "Seriously… Hun, are you going to be okay? You know with him being here and all? I'll kick him out for you Sweets…"

Toni continued to smile brightly then managed to light heartedly reply, "Motherhood must be making you soft Vee… Seriously, when have I ever let a guy get between me and a good meal? I'm good… Really I'm fine, promise."

When Vanessa picked up some of the warm food dishes while smiling and laughing, Toni was convinced that she had eased her friend's mind, but she still lingered in the kitchen until she heard their conversation in the other room continue with a renewed happy vigor so that she was ensured that she would be able to compose herself. She then easily slipped into her seat unnoticed while the three others continued their discussion.

"So, Sam… What is your line of work exactly?" Joe asked bluntly because he was just too genuinely curious about the job that Sam had alluded to on more than one occasion.

Toni stopped all movement to listen to Sam's answer with much apprehension on his behalf, but Sam just smiled easily as he responded, "Well… I specialize in finding missing persons, but…"

"He's in Search and Rescue like me," Toni inadvertently blurted because of her desire to cover up for Sam and herself.

"Oh? Well that's cool," Joe observed casually. "So… Have you two ever had to work a rescue together?"

"Yeah," they both answered in unison. "A couple of times in particular," Sam finished when Toni shied away from elaborating.

She then let Sam explain any of the details he chose to share about the jobs the two of them had worked together. Toni could feel her heart softening as she listened to his different versions of the people he had helped because he had used a tone of genuine concern throughout the dialogue. She still felt like there was something different about him, but she tried her best to shake that feeling off… At least she wanted to believe there was, but deep down she knew that she was still just projecting her own emotions onto him in a continual justification of her feelings.

"Oh and that would be Stephanie vying for my attention… Sorry guys," Vanessa announced as she held up the baby monitor to the 'crowd'.

Before the mother could ask, Toni jumped up from her seat offering, "I'll clean up the dishes and start working on dessert… Sam, give me hand would ya?"

Sam looked up at her and almost audibly sighed before answering enthusiastically, "I'd be happy to help!"

Toni had already gathered up most of the plates, so Sam just easily grabbed the few remaining dishes and followed her without saying another word. As he placed them on the counter top, Toni was loading the dishwasher, so he thought he would be able to start this next round of conversation, but then he hear Toni ask her questions first without turning away from the dishwasher to make sure that Sam had heard her properly.

"I'm sorry Toni, I didn't quite catch what you asked there," he replied politely.

As she stood up and turned around, she slowly and calmly asked again, "Why are you here Sam?"

"Oh? Umm… Well… Because Vanessa wanted me to come over so we could all catch up on old times together?" He answered hesitantly.

Toni snickered slightly then tried again in a less severe voice as she sat down, "No… I meant… What job has brought you and Dean to Portland? Is… Is it the missing girls?"

Sam sat down on a stool across from where Toni was seated and relaxed considerably then replied, "Yeah… Actually that's exactly it."

Toni slumped in her seat and grumbled, mostly to herself, "Fuck! So it isn't a serial killer… Dammit! You really can't trust the media… So what is it? I mean, we already know that Leprechauns and Fairies go after the eldest son… So what goes after single, white, brunette females? Oh… Shit! Should… Should I be staying indoors until you and Dean are done?"

He tried to reply without laughing out loud, but Sam found it beyond difficult to answer her question while also hiding his cheeky grin. "No… You're safe. Really Toni you, of all people, don't have to worry."

Knowing that she was the center of Sam's amusement caused Toni to silently become quite angry, but she maintained a calm demeanor as she tried to clarify his statement asking, "And that means what exactly?"

Sam's eyes shot up as he apologetically answered, "Oh sorry… It's that it's… Umm… A dragon and they go after virgins… I didn't mean to offend you at all."

"Huh… And Dean's in San Francisco to get something that will find them?" She asked, too intrigued with the new information to pretend that she was offended by his previous statement.

"No actually, he getting something to kill them," Sam corrected her without looking up from the counter top that separated both of them.

"Oh? Uhh… Cool. So… Then… Why are you HERE Sam?" Toni asked again, her voice breaking slightly. When his eyes met her, she could see his unasked questions so she continued "I mean, why aren't you trying to find it…? Them…? The dragon and all…?"

Sam chanced a physical connection by lightly grasping her hand across the island's counter top explaining, "I'm pretty sure I know where they hide out, but I can't hunt them until Dean gets back so… So when I saw you I was hoping that we would have a chance to talk… Just the two of us."

She slowly lifted her eyes to his face hoarsely asking, "Me? What would you want to talk about with me?"

"Well Castiel didn't really go into detail, but I know that we worked together, at least once or twice and…"

"Cas?" Toni clarified just over a whisper. "The angel? He…?"

"Okay, Stephanie's sleeping again… Who's up for cake?" Vanessa joyously asked from the doorway.

Toni quickly snatched her hand back and stood up answering, "Actually… Umm… I'm kind of stuffed… Dinner was great though…"

Sam watched Toni with a keen eye and then when she refused to make eye contact with him somewhat dejectedly replied, "Yeah… Uhh… Actually I should probably be heading out… You know to see if Dean's gotten back yet or not."

"Oh really?" Vanessa clarified without trying to hide her sadness at the prospect of the dinner party ending. "Well, if you must go…"

"But it really was great seeing you again Vanessa," Sam added as he gave her a hug. "And Toni's right, that was the best meal I've had in ages. Next time that I'm in town, I promise I'll make sure to give you a call."

She squeezed Sam's torso replying, "I'd really like that." After he released her, she continued, "Joe's already fallen asleep in his arm chair, but I know that he really appreciated getting to meet you. Hopefully we'll see you again soon."

Sam nodded then at the front door, he turned and quietly said, "It was good to see you again too Toni… Hopefully I'll see you around…"

He turned to leave through the open door, but Vanessa stopped him while asking, "Sam, where'd you park?"

"Oh… Umm… I took a cab, so I guess I'll be needing to call them…"

"Oh no you don't!" Vanessa jumped in before he could finish his thought. "Toni would be more than happy to drive you to make sure you get back you to your motel safe."

Toni wanted to hang her head, but refrained from doing so because she didn't want to be rude to her friend. "I'll just grab my jacket and keys. I'll meet you out at my truck Sam."

Out in the yard, Sam shifted his weight from one foot to another beside the Walker's vehicles in the driveway. Toni paused to do up her jacket then watched Sam with a curious eye because he wasn't anywhere close to waiting by her truck.

She walked passed him, she jutted her chin in the direction of the roadway saying, "Truck's over there."

Those were the last words spoken between them for nearly the entire drive back to the Winchester's motel. Toni was content to sit in silence, no matter how awkward it was, but thankfully her CD player started and the cab was instead filled with the sound of her usual driving soundtrack. Sam alternated between watching the scenery pass the window on his right hand side and trying to discreetly watch Toni out of the corner of his eye.

When they got closer to their destination, Sam gave her brief instructions how to get to their room then fell completely silent again. After another song played through, he finally felt like he had mustered up enough courage to try to apologize to her again.

"Toni… I don't exactly know what I did, but I truly am so…"

She tried to keep her eyes solely on the road, but still could feel a lump forming in her throat listening to his words. She still didn't feel ready to talk with him again and desperately tried to find a way out of this conversation as soon as possible.

"Oh… Hey… Look! Dean's back!" She interrupted letting her sheer relief show with every word.

"Yeah… He is… Good… Good…" Sam mumbled more than a little disappointed by Toni's reaction.

By the time Toni was parked, Dean had finished unpacking and had returned to their room, so Sam turned and simply said, "Well, thanks for the ride… I guess I'll see you around… Umm… What are you doing?"

Toni had her seatbelt unbuckled as she replied, "Well… it would be rude of me not to pop in and say hi to Dean."

Sam walked in stunned silence as he watched her hurry in the direction of their room. His feet slowed to an absolute snail's pace when he saw Toni pull Dean into a hug as soon as his brother opened the door. He knew that after all of the horrible things he had done, he had no right to feel hurt, but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly heart broken about Toni's behavior towards him just the same.

"Dean!" Toni quietly exclaimed. "Congratulations!"

Dean tentatively patted Toni's back as he replied, "Umm… Thanks?"

He pushed out of her embrace then asked, "I'm sorry, but why are you congratulating me?"

Sam had finally made it to their room, so Toni took a step back and put her hands in her pocket feeling slightly embarrassed by her display of affection to the older Winchester. Sam made a snide remark under his breath about how friendly the two of them seemed which caused Toni to retract even further into herself.

"Umm… Congrats on finding something to kill the dragon and all… Uhh… Yeah, I should probably go…" She explained, silently hating herself for the awkwardness that she created in the room.

Dean looked between the two of them and bit back a laugh when he noticed that they both refused to look at the other. He wasn't sure what had happened between the two of them while he was gone, but he could sense that they needed to talk about it, so he backed towards the door saying, "Thanks… It was definitely more complicated that I had thought it would be so I sort of skipped dinner… Anyone want anything while I'm out?"

Sam simply shook his head and mumbled "No thanks" while Toni's head snapped up as she stared at the elder Winchester wide eyed now that he blocked her escape route.

Dean nodded in the direction of his brother's back and mouthed, "Talk to him" before he left.

Sam assumed that Toni had snuck out with Dean, so he resigned himself to just continuing with research until his brother got back. Before sitting down, he took off his jacket and threw it hard onto his bed with a frustrated grunt. Toni jumped in her spot and after seeing that Sam appeared to be genuinely angry, she tried to talk herself out of what she was going to do next.

"We killed a werewolf together," Toni finally stated to Sam's back.

He slowly turned around to look at her with a soft, almost sad look on his face, so Toni continued with a bit more confidence, "I mean you and I did… Dean went home to see his… his family. You saved my life."

Sam's knees almost gave out, so he quickly at down on his bed before they had a chance to. "I… I did?"

Toni walked up to him so that they were able to look at each other eye to eye before replying, "Yeah… I probably would have died from hypothermia if you hadn't taken care of me."

They searched each other's eyes for answers that they weren't offering each other. Sam finally felt bold enough to be blunt, so he took Toni's hand and asked, "But after that, I did something that hurt you… I know I did Toni, I can see it in your eyes… In the way you've been since you realized it was me at the Market."

Toni shook her head, but she couldn't keep her smile from being anything but sad as she said, "It… It's nothing Sam. Really… It wasn't you so it doesn't matter."

Sam squeezed her hand gently and countered her statement, "It is something Toni… I had no right to do anything to hurt you and I need to make it up to you."

Before she could stop herself, Toni leaned down and kissed Sam softly. They both seemed stunned by the intimate contact at first, but then Sam ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her into another, deeper embrace. Toni wasn't ready to take their contact any further, so she made sure to remain standing even though Sam tried to pull her onto his lap more than once.

"Ahem… Sorry… I didn't mean to interrupt," Dean commented from the doorway without hiding his amusement.

Toni jumped back about two feet then avoided looking at either Winchester as her skin turned bright crimson. Sam stared at his hands, but Dean could see the pink on his neck as well, so he opted for a topic change over acknowledging their uncomfortable situation.

"So… Did anything else interesting happen when I was gone?"

Toni and Sam visibly relaxed then Sam walked over to the table where Dean was eating and pulled out a chair to sit down with him.

"Well there haven't been any other abductions if that's what you mean… How did everything go in San Francisco?"

Dean grimaced then swallowed his last mouthful of food then sarcastically replied, "Oh everything went awesome."

Toni and Sam scowled in confusion, so he got up and walked over to his bag. After he pulled something out, he turned back to them and gave Toni and Sam a cheeky grin.

Sam walked over and took the broken sword from his brother asking, "And what are we supposed to do with this Dean? Give it a booster shot?"

Dean shrugged replying, "It's what we got, alright? We're just gonna have to get closer, that's all." Sam handed the mangled piece of weaponry back to his brother while Dean asked, "Where are we on the caves?"

"Nowhere," Sam answered leaning over the table that held their research. Toni almost interrupted him in her confusion because she thought that Sam had told her he had that all figured out, but then Sam continued, "Sewers on the other hand… Here… Check it out."

Toni stood up and walked to Sam's left side while Dean stood to his right. "So two of the disappearances happened with a mile of here, so I think we start there and work our way around."

"Awesome. Who doesn't love sewers," Dean replied with mock enthusiasm. "Let's go."

Sam hesitated then stole a glance at Toni as she stared at the map. When their eyes met she simply asked, "Did you find the entrance before running into Vanessa and I?"

After Sam nodded she moved towards the door adding, "Good… I'd hate to think that we delayed you in any way."

"Wait!" Sam and Dean called out in unison. "You… You aren't coming?" Sam asked, finishing the thought he and his brother shared.

"Nah, you guys have this covered," Toni answered nonchalantly before flashing them a mischievous smile. "I already pissed off a werewolf and met the business end of her claws… And I'm guessing that a dragon won't be joining my Fan Club since I'm not a woman of virtue and all." Dean laughed, but Sam just looked at her with sad regret, so Toni tried to appease him adding, "I just don't want to make the fight any harder than it has to be for you two… Good luck guys."

She quickly left the room, but leaned against the closed door to catch her breath.

Dean looked at Sam and gave him a moment to verbalize his thoughts before asking, "What?"

Sam exhaled a sigh then replied, "Nothing… Uhh… Yeah, let's go kill a dragon."


	20. Show Me a Secret

_**Toni struggled, but only slightly, with the large box in her arms as she made her way up the stairs. She seemed to be able to manage it because she just kept telling herself that all she really had to do was make it to the door then she would be good. She was pretty sure that none of the other Freshman would have moved the dolly that she left in the doorway because thankfully there weren't many other people that were moving in this early in the day. Plus… Vanessa was supposed to be keeping an eye on it since Toni had offered (well insisted) on doing all of the heavy lifting and all. But she just couldn't shake the nagging thought in the back of her mind that reminded her that people would just let you down. No matter how low she set the bar of expectation people always seemed to fail to meet them and that threatened to break her spirit in the process.** _

_**She tried her best to push away her negative thoughts and reminded herself to just stay positive. This was a new school, in a new State with the possibility of a new Toni… So she should have a new outlook, right? She had repeatedly told herself on the drive to California that Stanford was her best chance for a fresh start… Well in all honesty, it was her brother Alexander that had first made the suggestion after he found her hiding away in their gazebo, bawling her eyes out after yet another ugly breakup with a boyfriend.** _

_**So she just took in a deep breath and shifted the box slightly while smiling stupidly to herself because she could sense the possibility of a positive shift in her outlook already. Or at least she thought that's what was causing this warm feeling in her chest right now.** _

" _ **Hey! Whoa! That looks heavy!" A male voice called out from behind her. "Here, why don't you let me carry that for you?"**_

_**Toni tried to just ignore him, but when she felt his fingers lightly graze against her own, she figured that she had to brush him off verbally so he would get the hint, "I'm good, but thanks."** _

_**He either didn't hear her objection or he was too chivalrous to let up and tried once again to take the weighty box again from her without saying anything else. They were close to the top of the staircase, so Toni made sure that she was on the top landing before twisting her torso to regain control of the box.** _

_**While her back was still turned to him, she juggled the box slightly until it was comfortable in her arms once again before more forcefully replying, "Are you deaf? I said that I've got it! Thanks for the offer but I really don't need your help."** _

" _ **Oh… Sorry… But… At least… Let me grab the door for you," he proposed shyly.**_

" _ **No, that's fine… My…" Toni started more civilly, but stopped when she notice that the door she had had propped open was now closed. As she stared at the small window in the dense metal she did notice a dark 'Vanessa' shaped figure on the other side.**_

" _ **Fuck! I guess she isn't," Toni grumbled, but mostly to herself as she was forced to set the box down.**_

_**Once it was on the cement, she finally turned to look at her potential 'helper' and fell completely mute for a moment. She wasn't sure what she had expected to see, but she knew that she hadn't anticipated turning around and finding the personification of the dictionary definition of 'Tall, dark and handsome' standing there behind her. She could feel that she was blushing but she desperately hoped that her voice wouldn't betray her true feelings.** _

" _ **What I meant to say was that my roommate WAS supposed to be waiting for me here… With the door open… With my dolly… But she must have… Ahem… Gotten 'distracted'. But honestly, I'm pretty sure I've got it from here. Thanks anyway," she explained almost politely.**_

" _ **Oh… Okay… Are you SURE I can't help you with this to your room?"**_

_**Toni smiled to herself when she got the door open and saw that the dolly was in fact in almost the exact same place that she had left it. Then without having to be asked for any aide, the stranger helped Toni to put the large box onto the dolly.** _

" _ **Huh… A mini fridge… That could come in handy," he commented under his breath after he finished reading the description on the box.**_

_**Toni still had a mischievous grin on her face as she playfully replied, "Well I have to thank you again for the offer, but I don't really know how safe it would be to show you where my dorm room is… I mean… For all I know you could be some kind of a stalker that will wait and break into my room to rape me… Or steal all of the cold drinks out of my fridge."** _

_**She quickly winked then started to push the dolly while he stood dumbfounded in his place. Toni felt pretty proud of herself because she could see that he wasn't sure if he should be genuinely offended by her comment or if he should laugh at the joke she had made at his expense. Either way… He shook his head in response and finally turned to leave.** _

_**Vanessa caught up with Toni at their room and nearly clapped and shouted as she excitedly asked, "So who was that Roomie?"** _

_**Toni was fighting with her key in the lock and answered distractedly without looking away from the door, "Who was who?"** _

_**After realizing that Toni wasn't going to pay attention to her until the door was open, Vanessa swatted Toni's hands away and easily opened the door. Toni took a step back and scowled at the other woman, but didn't get a chance to verbally announce her annoyance before her roommate launched into her interrogation.** _

" _ **Who? Who? That beautifully tall, shaggy haired, rock hard piece of Adonis ass, that's who! What was his name? What Hall does he live in? Come on Toni, I know I gave you more than enough time to get his details, so come on! Spill!"**_

" _ **Oh… Umm…" Toni answered in an uncharacteristically timid tone. "I… I didn't get them… I was… You know kind of more focused on not dropping our new fridge and all."**_

_**After they were through the door, Vanessa threw an arm around Toni's shoulders playfully saying, "Well it's a good thing you're bunking with me because you obviously have a lot to learn. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be able to get any guys digits in under five minutes."** _

_**Toni hesitated slightly in her roommate's arms then slowly wrapped an arm around Vanessa's waist. As she squeezed it slightly, she tried to mirror Vanessa's playful tone replying, "Yeah lucky me… But first things first… Why don't I set this son of a bitch up so you'll never run out of cold beverages to quench your thirst while you go through your lessons?"** _

_**With a loud laugh, Vanessa squeezed Toni tightly and exclaimed, "Oh my God! We are going to have so much fun this year!"** _

_**She never ran late. Never once in her life did Toni run late for anything. She even managed to make it to Palo Alto a week earlier than they had suggested so that she could scope out the campus, buy all of her books and even procure a part time job to make sure that she wouldn't have to live off cafeteria food for the whole year.** _

_**But right now she was late. As she weaved through the crowded hallways, she silently cursed Vanessa's powers of persuasion and her ability to convince Toni to go along with her schemes. Toni was now asking herself, who really needed their eyebrows plucked and makeup done for an afternoon tutorial anyway? Now not only did her face hurt like a son of a bitch, she was actually going to be way beyond late for class for the first time in her life.** _

_**Luckily for Toni, most of her classmates and even her TA didn't appear to be as concerned with punctuality so she was able to slip into the last empty seat without bringing any undue attention to herself.** _

_**After offering practically every correct answer to the questions posed to her and her classmates, then offering just as many insightful counterpoints in an attempt to elicit longer discussions, Toni backed off because she could feel all of the annoyed glares some of her classmates were giving her. Even though she didn't have to, Toni felt like she should go the extra mile in her classes because she was at Stanford on a scholarship and she was finding out that this wasn't sitting well with her peers. Despite what Vanessa said, Toni wasn't here to fall in love… She was here to get her degree so that she could get into Law School and then she was going to make partner in one of the country's top Law Firms, no matter where that might be, before her fortieth birthday at the latest.** _

_**At the end of the class discussion, the somewhat apathetic Teacher's Assistant turned to everyone and announced while handing something out to most of the students. "So I have a 'Good News' 'Bad News' scenario here gang. Good news? You all don't have to show up here next week for tutorial…" Practically everyone sighed loudly with relief, but the cautious few held their breath in anticipation of the bad news. "Bad news? Professor Guile has come up with a project for each tutorial. You guys and gals are going to pair up, read over the next three articles in the Courseware and the do a 'Pro/Con' list of each point… Yes, you heard right, arguments FOR and AGAINST each point gang." After a few audible groans, he continued, "So anyone who got a black tile… Congratulations, look to your right, that's your partner. If you didn't get a tile and you haven't put two and two together, look to your left. That's the person that will be playing a role in determining 15% of your final grade. Remember to have fun with playing Devil's Advocate!"** _

_**Their TA then bid the class "Adieu" while all of the students made their introductions to their new partners. Toni was copying down their TA's speech practically word for word as she turned her head to look to her left.** _

_**Once her partner's eyes locked with her own, they both froze for a moment then he extended a hand saying, "Hey. I'm 'Stalker McRapey'."** _

_**Toni took his hand, hung her head shamefully and replied, "So I guess that would make me 'Ungrateful McBitch'… Also known as Toni… Toni McNamara."** _

_**Her partner squeezed her hand gently to force her to look up again then said, "Well shit… Now you just took all of the fun out of teasing you. I'm Sam… Sam Winchester."** _

_**Toni recovered quickly once she realized that he wasn't angry about their first meeting and smiled saying, "Nice to properly meet you Sam. So, my roommate's going to be tied up tonight and tomorrow night… So my dorm's free if you're good to go to get all of this done."** _

_**Sam quickly nodded with a quiet, "Sure why not?" then Toni got up to leave replying, "Good. See you at my room any time after five?"** _

" _ **Wait!" Sam called out as she moved to leave the room. "Umm… I don't actually know where your room is, remember?"**_

" _ **Really?" She countered with mock surprise. "Well, I guess you aren't that great of a stalker there 'McRapey'." Sam stared at her with a confused scowl on his face as she finished, "And you aren't that much of a Detective either… Phone and room number are on the paper next to your left hand Winchester."**_

_********************************************************* _

" _ **Holy crap! I can't believe you got all of this done already," Sam commented as he read over Toni's lists of points for their project.**_

_**She just shrugged and stood up to stretch replying, "Well your lists aren't exactly short… I honestly was just hoping that we could get this project done this week so I can work on my paper next week."** _

_**Sam placed her notebook on the floor and chuckled saying, "I thought that I was the only one that was going to get a jump start on that."** _

_**Toni leaned over the open fridge then turned with two bottles in hands. Sam hesitated as he took one of the bottles, so Toni retracted it offering, "Or I could grab you a soda… I was thinking that we deserved a beer as a reward for all of our hard work."** _

_**Sam laughed softly as he took the beer then relaxed a bit more against Vanessa's bed in his place on the floor. "No, no, beer's good. Thanks. So… Have you figured out your topic for the term paper?"** _

_**Toni sat down on her bed cross legged facing him and took a swig of her beer nodding then answered simply, "Yep. How 'bout you?"** _

" _ **I think so… That chapter about crime being a learned behavior seemed like an interesting topic to look into," Sam replied as he smiled to himself inwardly.**_

_**When he and Toni had first been paired up, Sam had worried slightly that things would be awkward between them, given how their first encounter had transpired. Now he felt completely relaxed because it didn't seem to him like Toni held a grudge against him at all and she was turning out to be the first person he had worked with at college that was actually friendly.** _

" _ **Huh… So you're thinking of looking into environmental explanations for your focal point?"**_

" _ **Yeah… I guess so," Sam answered sounding slightly confused.**_

_**Toni got up and started shuffling through a couple of piles of books then turned explaining, "I still have to get a bookshelf… Anyways… If that's the angle that you're going with, this Sociology book might help."** _

_**Sam took it then as he flipped through the pages asked, "Thanks, but won't you need it?"** _

_**While she was still standing, Toni shook her head answering, "Nope. I won't need that one until next semester at the earliest. I kind of went overboard buying up all of the text books that crossed over between Criminology and Sociology."** _

" _ **Wow… So you've got this all figured out, eh?"**_

_**Toni shrugged again trying to deflect his compliment saying, "Not really… I'm just making it up as I go and hoping that I can keep from looking like I'm actually ready to vomit from the pressures of school."** _

_**Sam chuckled and agreed then continued looking through the textbook while sipping his beer, not noticing that Toni was standing in front of him still watching him intently. She was debating with herself if she should follow Vanessa's advice or not. Her roommate kept telling her that she should be bold, that real men didn't mind if it was the girl that made the first move, so she should just go for it and put herself out there. That approach had backfired numerous times in High School and she had been pretty successful waiting for guys to find her while at college, so Toni still wasn't sure if she should take that chance.** _

**Fuck it** _**, she finally thought to herself as she plucked the book from Sam's hands.** _

_**Sam looked up and tried to apologize for getting engrossed in the text book, but Toni quickly grabbed his cheeks and planted a soft kiss on his lips. He remained in a stunned silence after she leaned back, so Toni took a couple of steps away until the backs of her legs hit her bed.** _

" _ **Sorry… Really," she apologized remorsefully. "I just… I just wanted to know what it would be like… Fuck… I didn't even ask if you were seeing anyone… Shit… Sorry…"**_

" _ **I'm single," Sam stated very plainly without making any attempts to move.**_

_**Toni went to sit on her bed while still mumbling a few more apologies, but Sam leaned forward and pulled her onto his lap saying, "I hope that means you're single too…"** _

_**Toni nodded with a soft smile on her face as Sam brushed the hair off her face. "Good…" He commented quietly before leaning up to kiss her.** _

" _ **Okay… It's even better when you're ready for it," Toni breathlessly observed after Sam sat back so they could catch their breath.**_

_**Sam chuckled quietly then said, "Thanks?"** _

_**Toni pushed back on his chest to stand up replying, "Oh that was a compliment… So… I was thinking of ordering pizza. You hungry?"** _

_**Sam scowled slightly, showing his confusion as he watched Toni pick up her phone while also unbuttoning her shirt. Before dialing the number, she caught the look on his face, so she stopped just before slipping her shirt off of her shoulders.** _

" _ **What? Oh… Please don't tell me your stamina is so good that you need more than half an hour," Toni teased as she dialed the number for her favorite pizza place just off campus.**_

_**After she hung up the phone, Toni dropped her shirt beside her bed. Sam was still playing catch up with her, so Toni tried to make her intentions undeniably, crystal clear. She straddled Sam's lap and as she kissed him, she ran his hands up her ribs and over her bra covered breasts.** _

" _ **Toni…?" Sam questioned against her lips while letting her continue to direct his hands. "Toni? Can you hold up a second?"**_

_**She quickly stopped and sat back with both of their hands remaining stationary.** _

" _ **Oh shit! Fuck, I'm sorry. Fuck… Fuck! I'm… I'm such an idiot!" She replied as she tried to stand up.**_

_**Sam pulled her back down by the belt loops on her jeans then easily encircled his arms around her waist to keep her in his lap. "No, it's not that… As you can tell… But you and I? Where does that put us?"** _

_**Toni then smiled a bit easier and pushed his bangs out of his face saying, "It's just sex Sam… I'm not looking to become anyone's ball and chain… Really I'm not… Plus we're in college now… We're supposed to experiment, right? And I'm not really into girls…"** _

" _ **So we're classmates and project partners who are going to have sex and then…?" Sam tried to clarify.**_

" _ **And then whatever happens… happens. No strings attached to complicate things," Toni explained while Sam worked at massaging her breasts.**_

" _ **No strings?" He doubled checked as he leaned in and kissed her neck.**_

_**Toni was turning into putty under Sam's hands as she breathlessly replied, "None…" When Sam didn't move things along more quickly she more forcefully commented, "But if you don't hurry up, the pizza will be here and I'll be pissed if we get interrupted before you finish."** _

_**Sam laughed against her skin then picked her up in his arms. Toni had no doubts that Sam could handle her weight without any issues while she worked at undoing his pants and lavished his neck with hungry embraces.** _

_**As they loosened each other's clothing, Toni felt Sam's hesitation once again so she whispered, "My bed's behind me… Condoms are in the top drawer."** _

"Toni…? Sweets? Are you ready for another round?" Vanessa asked as she waved her hands in front of Toni's face, trying to regain her friend's attention.

"Sorry… Sorry… Umm… Yeah… I mean yes please and a water too. Thank you," Toni finally ordered before turning to her companion saying, "Sorry… I didn't mean to space out on you, but…"

Vanessa followed Toni's gaze when she trailed off and playfully teased, "But Mr. 'I'm Stupid and Let You Go' just walked in."

When the words hit her ears, Toni's eyes snapped over to Vanessa's face. She wanted to object, but instead just slumped back in her seat honestly answering, "Shit… Fuck… Maybe… Sorry Vee…"

"So we really don't hate him, huh? Even though he broke your heart?" Vanessa asked quietly as the Winchesters started walking in their direction.

"No!" Toni answered in a hushed tone while shaking her head. "No! Vanessa don't hate Sam!" She quietly implored before the brothers reached their booth.

"Hey Ladies… Would you mind if we joined you?" Dean asked with a bewitching smile on his face.

Toni was just about to say 'Yes' as she shifted over to make room for the two men when Vanessa answered with a very serious sounding, "Maybe…"

All three of the others, including Toni, stared at her completely confused by her answer before she clarified more playfully, "Well you can IF you earn the pleasure of our company for the night." She nodded towards the pool table then added, "If you beat me, you're in."

Sam shrugged his shoulder then answered, "Sure… That sounds fair enough to me."

He and Dean took off their jackets and as the elder Winchester moved to take Vanessa's place at the table, she protested, "Nope, not you Sam. I already know that you can kick my ass… But Dean here…He still needs to prove that he's worthy… You in?"

Dean handed his jacket to his brother as he replied, "Sure… I'd be more than happy to show you how the game is played."

As they walked away, he looked over his shoulder with a slightly worried look on his face, but Sam was already saying, "Don't worry, I'll order your food."

Once they were guaranteed to be out of the other two's earshot, Vanessa slipped her arm through Dean's and quietly said, "And I was also hoping that you might be able to enlighten me about what the hell is going on with those two back there."

Dean stole a quick glance over his shoulder then replied, "Sure, I'll try my best."

Toni had already moved in deeper into the horseshoe shaped booth by the time that Sam finally took a seat. He wasn't sure where they stood with each other right now, especially after their slightly prolonged make out session, so he tried to give her some distance without appearing like he was being standoffish. Even though she still wasn't sure about her feelings, Toni knew that Vanessa hadn't whisked Dean away to play pool just to get to know him better, so she tried to do what she knew her friend wanted her to do.

"Fry to tie you over?" Toni offered as she pushed her plate partially towards him.

Toni hadn't pushed it far enough for Sam to easily reach the food, so he slid in closer to her and picked one up with a quiet, "Thank you."

"So… How'd it go?" She asked before taking a long drink from her nearly empty glass.

"Well we got one and everyone's safe at home now," Sam explained without sounding like he was going to offer any other details.

"Here you go Miss… Oh… Hi, I'm Cindy… What can I get you?" Their waitress asked as she placed the ladies' drinks on the table.

"I'll have a beer and a BLT on wheat and my brother will have a beer and a bacon cheeseburger. Thanks."

As soon as they were alone again, Toni slid in closer to Sam so that she could question him in a more hushed tone, "You said you got 'one'… Does that mean that you had to fight more than one dragon?"

Sam swallowed hard and licked his dry lips uncomfortably because Toni was gripping his thigh to maintain her balance while the talked. When Sam didn't answer her question right away, Toni squeezed his leg then gently shook it asking, "Well?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Yeah, there was more than one."

He quickly picked up his beer and took a large swallow to collect himself. Toni finally released his flesh and sat back against the booth with part of her back resting on Sam's chest. He moved his arm so that she could rest more comfortably against his side then relaxed in his place as he watched her pick at her food and nibbled on a fry.

"Huh… There are dragons on Earth," Toni mused aloud.

Sam chuckled softly then said, "Yep."

Toni unconsciously slipped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder asking, "But you saved all of the girls, right? None of them got left behind?"

He gently ran his hand up and down her arm as he answered, "Yes, we got all of them home safe."

"Good… Good…"

Then both then fell silent, slowly eating their food. Toni molded herself even closer to Sam's torso in such a way that their position looked and felt completely normal to anyone that saw them together. When they ordered another round of drinks, their server asked them about their companions and both Sam and Toni froze completely in their spots.

"Should I take their orders to them?" She offered with a soft smirk.

Toni quickly sat up off of Sam's chest and replied, "Yes… Please… That would be great… They're over at the tables playing pool."

She then scooted over a bit more away from Sam, scooped up her water and chugged its contents while trying to slow down her thoughts. Sam's hand had slipped off her shoulder when she moved, but he made sure to keep it in contact with her back in an effort to comfort her.

"Toni? Are you okay?" He asked quietly as he rubbed soft circles on her back when she finally put her glass back down on the table.

She had started tearing up one of their napkins and refused to turn around to face him as she said, "I don't know if I can do this Sam."

Sam sat up straighter and tenderly gripped her shoulder to turn her so that they were facing each other as he tried to probe deeper, "You can't do what Toni?"

He watched her closely, trying to gauge if she was going to shut down on him completely or not. She in turn took a deep breath and shifted in her seat so that she was able to face him more comfortably.

"I don't know if I can do this… You and me together… Us, again," she explained gesturing between them with her hand. "Sam… I… I caught… I walked in on you in bed with another woman when…"

"Oh my God Toni! I am so sorry," Sam jumped in, engulfing both of her hands in his a little more roughly than he meant to.

Toni shook her head which silenced Sam immediately because of his confusion. "Don't Sam… Don't apologize."

"Why not? That's what I did that hurt you… Why shouldn't I apologize? Actually I should be doing more than that…"

"Because you shouldn't have to…" Sam opened his mouth to protest further, but before he could utter a word, Toni placed her fingertips of one hand on his lips. "Sam it shouldn't bother me because we've never promised each other a commitment… I've never offered or asked for that, so you can sleep with anyone you want to… Just like I can… Just like I did… But it did bother me and that's why this worries me."

She lowered her hand to Sam's lap and he held it tightly somewhat snidely asking, "Because 'no strings attached', right?"

"Sam don't say it like that… But yeah… It's mostly because of that… And now… Now…" Toni fought to find the right words to describe how she was feeling without causing the look of pain in Sam's eyes from becoming more pronounced.

"Now what?" Sam inquired hoarsely.

"Now… Our lives just aren't really set up for any type of long term relationship. I've never been one to be tied down to one person or one place, so this whole hunting gig is beyond perfect for me. And you said that the dream of having the All American Life died with Jessica…"

"I did?" He inadvertently interrupted.

"Yeah… You did… Back when… Well back in Mississippi," she explained.

"So that's it then? We're done?" Sam asked much more calmly than he had previously.

Toni looked down at their hands and answered just over a whisper, "I don't know."

He tilted her chin up and stared into her eyes for a moment. "I hear you saying 'I don't know', but you do… I can see it in your eyes… But if you don't want to talk about it…"

She shook her head and Sam could tell that she was getting mad at herself for not being honest with him. She stared at his chest for a moment while she collected her thoughts. Sam wanted to jump in and ask her more questions, but he just waited while she continued to stare at his shirt deep in her own thoughts.

When she finally looked up at him, a tear trickled down her cheek. Sam gently wiped it away then Toni took in a deep breath and quietly explained, "I already had to let you go once… I don't know if I could do that again."

Sam took her hand in his again and laced their fingers together and tenderly said, "Toni… That guy that I was when you walked in on me with another… I'm… I'm not that guy anymore… I'll never be… What? Why… Why are you laughing?"

Toni had started to chuckle softly while shaking her head. "No Sam. I didn't mean then, I meant…"

She started to blush and fell silent then Sam finished her thought, "Back at school." She nodded softly in confirmation then he slid in closer to her saying, "But you never said anything… You just told me that she had better treat me right because you always look out for your friends… Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah… Well… Back then I knew that I couldn't be the woman that you were looking for… To settle down with… And then you met Jessica and you looked so happy… I… I didn't want to do anything that would ruin that for you."

"Toni…" Sam said through a sigh as he held her face and ran his thumb over her cheek. "So… What do we do now? Do you want us just to walk away from each other? Because I'm not sure that I can do that… And I don't think that you really want to do that either."

She shook her head and whispered, "You're right, I don't want to let you go again." She unlaced her fingers from his then started to pick at the buttons on his shirt to avoid making eye contact. "Sam… Do you… do you think that we could maybe…? I don't know… Go back to how things were back then?"

Her eyes remained solely focused on buttoning and unbuttoning the button in the middle of his chest so Sam took her hands in his before speaking. He wanted to make sure that they were looking at each other in the eye while they continued their conversation.

"If we try we might be able to… But you might have to refresh my memory what exactly that relationship would entail."

Toni stared down at his hands holding hers and scowled while she once again carefully planned out what she wanted to say. "We'll be friends," She explained while raising her eyes to his. "So… If you need someone to talk to… You know, other than your brother, you can call me… If you meet someone that you want to… You know with… You can… Same as we could back then… But we just don't have to talk about those conquests."

Sam cracked a small smile then asked, "Would that possibly also include getting to see you in the flesh?"

Toni leaned up and kissed him then replied with her nose touching his, "You better believe it does."

Before she could sit back, Sam weaved his hand in her hair and pulled her lips back to his. She immediately relinquished all control to Sam and nearly sighed with relief when he took the lead willingly. Toni almost had to push out of the embrace when she found it hard to breathe, but she couldn't bring herself to push him away. Instead she twisted her fist in his shirt just to keep him as close to her as possible.

When they heard two glasses being placed on the table, both Sam and Toni sat back simultaneously. Toni turned to look at the back of the booth so that she could avoid facing their server, but she still heard the server's quiet apology before she retreated.

Sam then leaned down and whispered with a chuckle, "I guess we kind of got carried away there for a minute." Toni nodded, but still refused to face him so Sam teased her quietly in an effort to ease her mind. "So… It's a deal then? We go back to being 'Friends with Benefits' again?"

Toni sat back and playfully slapped his chest with an exasperated, "Sam! Don't put it like that… It makes this sound so… So…"

"Okay, when you're resorting to physical violence Toni, I will have to insist on stepping in," Vanessa joked as she slid into the booth.

Toni looked beside Sam and saw that Dean was taking a seat, so she tried to change the subject saying, "Well it looks like you passed Vanessa's test Dean… Congratulations."

Dean laughed then waited to reply until after he was finished drinking his beer. "Well she's a hell of a lot tougher than she looks."

They all laughed then watched Vanessa for her own witty retort, but she was looking at her phone instead of listening to the conversation. In one fluid motion, Toni let go of Sam's hands and turned towards Vanessa asking, "Vee…? Is something wrong? Are Joe and Stephanie okay?"

Vanessa looked up from her cell phone then noticed all of them looking at her with concern in their eyes. "Oh… Geez… Sorry guys…" She turned her phone to show Toni the picture of her daughter that she had been staring at then explained, "I hadn't realized how late it had gotten."

Toni checked the time then teasingly said, "Motherhood really has softened you up Vanessa."

"Oh… Gosh… I'm sorry," the mother replied with quiet remorse after she realized that 10pm wasn't exactly 'late' to most people.

Toni held her hand while softly saying, "Don't apologize. It's your first night away from Stephanie… And you're right; we should probably call it a night."

She then turned to say goodnight to the brothers but stopped when she felt Vanessa squeezing her hand. "No, you stay, catch up with the guys about the job that brought them here… It's still technically early for normal people."

"Are you sure Vee?" Toni asked in an attempt to have her friend change her mind.

Vanessa was already standing and started to pull out her wallet to pay her portion of the bill. Toni waved her off with a quiet "I've got it" so Vanessa leaned over, gave Toni a quick hug then said, "Thanks… I'll see you back at my place." She then turned to the males and continued, "Dean it was really nice to meet you. And Sam? You remember not to be a stranger, okay?"

They all agreed with her then watched in silence as she turned to leave. Their server returned and another round of drinks was ordered while the Winchesters went into further detail about their last fight. Their conversation didn't stray from the topic of hunting and Toni was more than eager to hear their stories to try to learn whatever she could about creatures that she knew little to nothing about. Anytime they mentioned a monster that she didn't know how to track or kill, Toni tried her best to keep her tone light-hearted as she tried to interrogate them and retain that information for possible future use.

"Oh my God! I read that book… I could totally picture you with your scraped knees… Honestly Sam, I felt kind of bad for laughing…" Toni explained while barely holding back her laughter.

"It was pretty pathetic," Dean agreed with a huge grin on his face.

Sam glared at both of them, but directed his commentary solely at his brother, "Well at least **I** wasn't afraid to go to our room because it was on the fourth floor **OR** carry my gun… Or scream like a girl at a cat…"

Dean choked slightly on his beer but before he could respond, Toni jumped in excitedly asking, "Wait! What? What happened there? I mean you seemed pretty bad ass after the whole 'close encounter' and beating them and all… What could do that to you?"

Sam felt slightly dejected that his funny anecdote didn't elicit the same level of laughter that Dean's had, so he just went back to drinking his beer to let his brother explain.

Dean swallowed then very plainly said, "Ghost sickness… It spreads like any disease and is usually terminal."

"Whoa… That's nuts… How do you cure it?" Toni asked completely awestruck.

Dean caught his brother's jaw setting in a hard, frustrated line, so Dean answered with even less enthusiasm, "Same as you would vanquishing any spirit: salt and burn the remains. But…"

When he trailed off, Toni quickly asked, "But what?"

"But we didn't have any remains to burn, so Sammy had to get creative."

"Really?" Toni questioned, still completely enthralled. She squeezed Sam's thigh under then said, "Luckily you have a brother with brains Dean… I guess you'd be dead if he really was just another pretty face."

Sam shrugged then met Toni's gaze and realized that his jealousy was all for nothing. Toni didn't actually care who the story was about, she was just hoping to learn from their experiences. When it came to laughing about the ridiculous things that happened to him, he realized that Toni laughed harder BECAUSE it was him… She knew him so well that she could picture the scene more vividly or his voice more clearly in her mind's eye, which in turn caused her to laugh more heartily.

They were able to swap so many war stories that they completely lost track of time and soon they were hearing that it was last call. Reluctantly Toni slipped out of the booth and they all made their way to the parking lot together. Sam insisted on walking Toni to her truck and made sure to steal more than one good night kiss before returning to his room with his brother.

"Okay, so we'll catch a few hours of shut eye and then we hit the road for Bobby's," Dean stated so matter of factly that Sam knew his input wasn't desired or required.

"Yeah… Sure… Sounds good," the younger Winchester distractedly replied as he pulled out his phone.

He saw that he had one new text message that simply read 'ROOM 10'. He wasn't sure who it was from, but he knew he had to go there to find out or he wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

"Hey Dean? I think we might want to stock up on supplies before heading out… I'll just run over to the AM/PM down the street while I still have this adrenaline in my veins," Sam quickly explained.

Dean had pulled out his phone as well and was dialing it during Sam's narration, so he just waved at his brother saying, "Yeah, sure… Knock yourself out."

Seeing that his brother was completely engrossed in his conversation on the phone, Sam slipped out to walk over to Room 10. Once he was standing in front of the door, Sam checked the parking lot again, but found it just as devoid of human life as when he and Dean first arrived. He then tried to make out each vehicle to see if any of them evoked any memories for him at all, but sadly none of them looked remotely familiar.

While his attention was focused on the parking lot, the room door flew open and he was pulled into the room. The force of the tug threw him off balance and then he was quickly pushed onto the bed. Everything was happening so rapidly that his brain barely had a chance to catch up with everything that had happened before he had a woman dressed only in her bra and underwear straddling his midsection while he way laying on the bed. She pinned his hands over his head then kissed him so eagerly that she almost split his lip.

"I was worried you weren't going to show," she commented sounding completely out of breath as she moved one hand to work at undoing his belt and pants.

"Well… I wasn't really sure either," he replied biting back a moan as she worked at removing his pants. "Your name didn't show up with the message."

Toni sat back on her knees while she unlaced his boots trying to figure out that would be since she knew that Sam had put her number in his phone back in Louisiana. "Oh… Shit… Sorry I used my personal cell this time… You must only have my work cell number… You know the one that I put on my fake business cards and stuff?"

Sam removed his two layers of shirts then pulled Toni onto his lap and replied between the kisses he placed on her neck, "Well I'm glad I took a chance to find out if there was something good behind door number 10."

Toni removed her panties while Sam unhooked her bra then she cheekily said, "There's something AMAZING waiting for you."

She then repositioned them so she could reconnect them, but Sam gripped her wrist with a bruising force, ceasing all movement. Toni let out an involuntary whimper of either pain or fear, possibly both, and then held her breath while she waited for his next move.

"Sorry… Sorry," he quietly apologized when he saw fear overshadowing the lust in her eyes. "Let me just grab a…"

Toni chuckled nervously and once Sam's grip loosened, she lowered herself onto him. He tried to protest, but only verbally because his body betrayed him and started to respond immediately to the feeling of being with her again.

"It's… Taken… Care… Of…" Toni explained through bated breath, hoping that Sam was so lost in his feelings of ecstasy that she wouldn't have to elaborate further right now.

Toni thanked anyone and anything that after that Sam exchanged using his mouth to speak for covering her flesh with warm embraces. She went nearly boneless in his arms, so Sam took advantage and flipped her onto her back. The only extra movement that Toni did while trying to meet the rhythm of Sam's thrusts was to grip the headboard so that she could shift to be more comfortable on the bed and grant him better access.

Soon enough, well sooner than she would have liked, Toni was nearly screaming with elation as her climax hit her hard. That completely pushed Sam over the edge and he threw his head back, mouth wide open, but his voice was muted by his own orgasmic state.

Toni's eyes were squeezed shut as she tried to catch her breath and Sam couldn't help but silently laugh at the blissful look on her face. He leaned down and kissed her more gently then rolled her onto her side so that they would be facing one another.

They didn't bother with trying to cover themselves up with blankets, but Toni couldn't help but tangle her long legs with Sam's to remain as close to him as possible. The fact that they both had the same tattoo felt like a strange sign to Toni that they were truly meant to be more than just friends, even though she would never tell him about the insane ramblings that was happening in her head at this moment.

As she kissed the protection symbol on his chest, Sam ran his fingers through her hair and was able to easily see the floor behind her.

"Umm… Toni? What's up with all of the shopping bags?"

Even though Toni already knew the bags to which Sam referred, she still stole a glance over her shoulder before answering with a shrug, "I figured that you'd tell Dean that you were buying supplies… So they're supplies… Including three flavors of pie."

Sam laughed softly then kissed her gently before praising her, "Smart and unbelievably gorgeous. I think this may be the start to a beautiful friendship… Thanks for helping with the cover story."

"My pleasure. Plus I figured that if I took care of that then you could stay a bit longer."

"Mmm hmm," Sam agreed as he relaxed against the pillows and wrapped his arms around Toni's torso.

"Sam?" Toni whispered to check if he was falling asleep or not.

"Mmm… Just resting my eyes… Just a sec Toni," he answered through a couple of yawns.

Toni didn't move from her spot with her cheek against his chest for fear that she'd wake him up. After she felt his breathing completely even out, she pushed off his chest and watched him for a brief moment. He didn't stir when she kissed his lips, so she took a deep breath to brace herself before she talked herself out of finishing what she had started.

Her heart started to race as she kissed his cheek then his ear. Sam's body language hadn't changed at all so Toni presumed that he had in fact fallen asleep.

"I love you Sam," she whispered so lowly that it was barely audible. "I always have… Always will."

Sam forced himself not to react, knowing that Toni only made that confession because she thought that he was in a deep sleep. Once he felt her settle against his chest again, Sam's eyes flew open and he tried even harder to keep his breathing steady so that she would fall asleep. He didn't even allow his mind to race until he felt the warm puffs of her breath hit his sweaty skin.

_She… She didn't…? Did she? Man… Now… Now that makes sense… Fuck… What…? How…? Can we go back now?_

When Toni woke up, she was tangled up in the sheets as she tried to turn over to cuddle into Sam's arms again. It was a bit of a struggle to roll over onto her other side, but she wasn't the least bit surprised to find herself alone on the bed. She finally managed to free herself from the clinging cotton sheet and sat up while laughing sadly to herself.

On the pillow beside her head there was a wrapped store bought apple strudel with a note. She let the pastry fall to the floor as she snatched up the note with nervous apprehension.

I PROMISE I'LL BUY YOU A LATTE THE NEXT BREAKFAST WE HAVE TOGETHER. I KNOW IT ISN'T A MUFFIN, BUT YOU DIDN'T INCLUDE ANY WITH THE SUPPLIES SO THIS IS THE NEXT BEST THING (JUST KIDDING).  
WE'LL PROBABLY BE AT OUR FRIEND BOBBY'S IN SOUTH DAKOTA UNTIL WE FIND OUR NEXT JOB, SO I'LL CALL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU BEFORE THEN.  
TALK TO YOU SOON.  
*HEART* SAM

Toni stared at the note, slightly dumbfounded and then she caught a glimpse of the beside clock.

"Shit!" She exclaimed quietly. "I overslept!"

Before she could begin obsessing over every word that Sam had written, Toni quickly dressed and left a tip on the table before rushing out of the room. Even though the sun had started rising, Toni hoped that she could sneak back into the Walker's house unnoticed. She already knew that she was in for a third degree interrogation after being caught kissing Sam in the booth at the bar, so Toni really didn't want to give Vanessa anymore fuel for the fire… Even though she also knew that she would be telling her friend everything… Eventually.


	21. I Promise to Keep it Safe and Sheltered From the Storm

"Toni? Angel? When did you get home?"

Toni looked up while she continued grating a brick of cheese and smiled brightly. "Hey Dad… I got in… Umm… Last night… Hope I didn't wake you at all."

The Colonel took another drink from his coffee mug then looked at her skeptically as he replied, "Last night you say… How late was it when you got in?"

She swallowed hard and turned to the stove to add the cheese to the egg that was already in the frying pan. When she didn't answer him right away, her father cleared his throat and then asked in a much more stern tone of voice, "Antonia?"

Before turning around, she fiddled with the meal she was making to ensure that the omelet wouldn't burn then she shyly answered, "Umm… Around oh two hundred Sir."

"Toni… Did you get any sleep at all?" He asked sympathetically as he got up and walked over towards the spot where she was standing.

She let her dad wrap his arms around her in a loving hug without any protests. Then Toni nodded against his chest and pushed back from his embrace so that she could look him in the eye when she answered him.

"Yes Sir I did… I practically passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow… So when I woke up before my alarm and felt totally refreshed, I figured that I could make myself useful by making us breakfast."

He looked over from the stove to the island then kissed her head. "Alright, just so long as you got some rest… Thanks for cooking Angel."

The Colonel retreated to his spot at the table and returned to drinking his coffee while Toni finished cooking the omelet. She plated the hot food then passed it to her dad with an easy smile on her face. He was still watching her with a worried eye and the expression on his face didn't change until he finally pried his eyes from his daughter to look down at his plate.

"Crap! Cheese omelet with tomato and mushroom… That's your favorite, isn't it?" She asked with an almost apologetic tone.

He dad held Toni's hand as he smiled sadly and nodded, "Yes… Yes, it is angel… I just don't remember ever telling you that it was."

She smiled slyly and replied, "You can't rely on what your target tells you… You have to always be observant of their behavior too. That's the only way to be sure that you're getting to the truth…"

Toni was back at the stove by the time her father was able to react to her comment. He didn't speak right away and instead opted to just watch her while she started working on her own meal. The last time they were together, he had noticed that every move that she had made seemed to have been completely preplanned and calculated. She had appeared to be tired, even though she would never have admitted it, so she made sure not to waste any energy needlessly, except for when she was forcing herself to look like she was happy and relaxed when she was with her dad.

But now everything she did seemed to happen so effortlessly that she almost looked like she was floating around the room when she moved. His daughter looked genuinely happy and completely at ease. He didn't recall ever seeing her look like this in the past, so he hoped that he was reading her new demeanor correctly and wasn't just projecting his own hopes and desires onto her.

"I didn't know you paid such close attention to me or what I said back then," he finally answered while trying to keep his tone even.

"Well… To be honest, back then I didn't want you to know that I was paying attention… Remember, I was a teenager and they're pretty stupid… The cool thing to do when you're young is to rebel, so I couldn't ever let you know that I was soaking up everything that you were telling us or trying to teach us."

He chuckled and shook his head then commented, "I'm starting to think that I actually had it pretty easy with you when you were young… I kind of wonder much worse it is for other parents who have teenaged girls…"

Toni nearly choked as she laughed into her coffee mug then replied, "Well if you're willing to wait another twelve years, I'm sure that Vanessa would be happy to enlighten us."

After they both shared another laugh, her dad asked in a slightly more serious tone, "Speaking of… How did Portland treat you?"

"Perfectly," she stated towards her food with a goofy grin on her face. She continued to push her food around her plate as she explained in a blissful haze. "I think that it might now be one of my favorite cities in the country."

"Does that mean that you'll be visiting Vanessa soon… And more frequently?"

Toni finally came out of her daydream and her eyes snapped up away from her food and locked with her dad's. He quirked his head to one side when she hesitated and didn't offer him any reply. Her cheeks started to turn pink, but she remained silent and just chewed on her bottom lip.

"Toni? Is everything okay? Oh… No… Did you work on that case with the girls that were getting kidnapped while you were there? Did… Did that alienate you from Vanessa? Angel…? Angel… What happened?"

Her dad was so worried about what may have transpired that he was almost in tears as he frantically questioned her, so Toni reached across the table and grabbed his hand as she spoke.

"No… No Sir… I haven't worked on any cases since… Well… Since Chicago. Things are great between Vanessa and me… Actually I'll probably get into more trouble with her if I wait too long to visit her again."

"So what is it then?" He asked much more calmly. "What happened in Oregon?"

She squeezed his hand gently then said, "I ran into Sam… Oh and Dean…"

"What? Really? And you're happy about this?" He inquired completely perplexed.

"Yeah… It was a good thing… Dad… You've read the book series what…? Three? Four times now?"

He avoided looking her in the eye as he replied, "I just started it for a fifth time."

Toni tried to keep from laughing, but she couldn't help but show how adorable she thought it was that her dad was such a devote fan to the story of the Winchesters' lives.

"Well… Then you should know by now that you should never underestimate Dean Winchester…"

Her dad still wasn't sure what his daughter was trying to tell him, but he hoped that if he gave her time to explain that his patience would be rewarded. Because of this hope and reasoning, he remained silent and just nodded and stared at her with utter confusion clouding his features while he waited for her to continue.

She took in a deep breath then inadvertently blurted out in her excitement, "Dean got Sam's soul back!"

The Colonel was usually able to keep his emotions in check and only let people see what he wanted them to see. In the past the only time that he wasn't able to control that was when he had turned to the bottle for comfort. He barely remembered anything from that period in his life, so he knew that there was no way that he had been able to control his emotions or his tongue. He had thought that he had completely lost the prospect of having a relationship with his only surviving offspring because he had not only spoken his mind during his inebriated state, but he had also been more than happy to let all the lies that had been the root of all of the insecurities in the back of his mind spill out as well.

Since he had sobered up in rehab, the Colonel had allowed himself to be a little less rigid, but he could still fool people whenever he felt there was the need. But right now, he had no control over his body. Once Toni's statement hit his ears, he lost control and dropped his mug on the table while he stared at her completely dumbfounded.

"Shit! Dad…! Dad! Are you alright?" Toni called out as she ran over to the cupboards to retrieve a couple tea towels to try to clean up the mess. "Dad? Did you burn yourself?"

The Colonel wanted to take one of the towels from Toni and clean up the mess he had made, but he couldn't get his brain to relay that message to his body. Instead he just watched her in an embarrassed silence as she soaked up the black liquid from the table top.

"Colonel?" Toni tried again feeling slightly panicked. "Please… Dad!"

"Dean did it…" He started to mumble as he patted a towel to his pant legs. "He saved Sam…"

Toni sat down on a chair beside her dad then turned his chin towards her so they were looking at each other. His eyes looked slightly glazed over, but she still tried desperately to get him to respond to her.

"Dad?" She asked yet again while running her thumb over his cheek. "Please, please snap out of it…"

His eyes started to focus on her face as he mumbled, "He… He got you your 'Sam' back… Finally…"

"Yeah," she laughed somewhat relieved. "Yeah, he sure did."

He finally seemed to have processed everything fully then took her hand in his while they maintained a comfortable and unwavering stare. She still frantically searched his eyes for any indication of what might be on his mind, but now that he was back to being his more usual self, she was only able to see the emotions that he allowed her to observe.

His eyes twinkled slightly with mischief before he gently teased, "And I'm guessing that you that you got caught up… Umm… In the excitement of… Uhh… Reuniting with your college pal that you didn't get a chance to ask either of them how Dean managed to put him back together…"

Toni tried to glare at her dad and not to smile by biting her upper lip, but she couldn't fake being mad at him… Not after having been able to re-establish her friendship with Sam so completely just a few days ago.

"Actually…" She started somewhat smugly as she cleared the dishes from the table. "Sam and I have talked on the phone every night since we left Portland… So… Maybe we did cover that topic… But since you have such little faith in me, maybe I'll keep those details to myself."

She turned to face her dad after loading the dishwasher, still flashing him a cheeky grin. The Colonel tried to give her a stern look so that he could regain his position of authority, but he just couldn't force himself to portray a hard exterior.

"Toni… Angel, I am so sorry that I ever doubted your abilities," he apologized nearly begging her to forgive him. "I promise… I will do ANYTHING to prove to you that I have complete and utter faith in you… Just please… Please tell me how Dean did it… Pleeease!"

"Dad?" Toni answered sounding slightly concerned.

"Yes Angel?" He inquired in an overly exaggerated, sickly sweet tone.

"I'll tell you everything, but you HAVE to promise me one thing…"

"Anything Toni, just name it!" He eagerly agreed.

"Don't EVER beg like that again!" She teased. "It's kind of creepy."

He gave her a slightly wounded look as she came around the table to hug him. Then she moved to her seat and started her narration in earnest, "So… Do you remember all of those wicked bad storms and crazy ass weather we had a couple of years ago… You know the ones that everyone was joking about being a sign that the world was coming to an end…?"

The Colonel's face fall as his cheeks started to rouge while he avoided making eye contact. "No… No, I… I don't," he hesitantly started to reply.

Toni caught on quickly to the reason why her dad was so embarrassed. She didn't want to remind him of the years that he spent as a semi-conscious alcoholic so she quickly changed the subject from that topic saying, "Well turns out it WAS the Apocalypse and well… Sam and Dean being… Well Sam and Dean, they were right in the thick of it… And during that time they made some pretty powerful… Umm… Allies…"

Toni paused there to make sure that her dad wasn't too overwhelmed. His coloring had thankfully returned to normal and his look of embarrassment had morphed into a thought-filled scowl while he listened intently. He was just about to ask her what she had meant by the term 'allies', but Toni continued her story before he could do so.

"So apparently they… Umm… Met the Four Horsemen…"

"They what?" The Colonel inadvertently exclaimed.

Toni smiled softly then calmly continued, "They went up against the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse… And Dean must really be quite the charmer because he somehow… Umm… Befriended… Umm… Death… And it was Death that actually got Sam's soul back. Sam still doesn't know what Dean had to do to uphold his end of the deal, but he keeps telling Sam that their debt is paid and that they both are still safe now… Well as safe as a Winchester can be…"

"Death" Her dad echoed sounding slightly overwhelmed. "Death… Went to Hell to retrieve Sam's soul and… and neither of the Winchesters are in harm's way because of it?"

"That's right Sir… Neither of them will be facing the same fate that Dean did at the end of 'No Rest for the Wicked'. Now they just have to worry about demons, ghouls, wraiths, werewolves… Rogue angels… You know… The usual."

Toni had her chin tilted down but her eyes turned up to look at her father's face while she spoke. His expression hadn't changed in nearly five minutes and then he spoke with the same monotone that he had used before as he said, "Don't forget ghosts… The Winchesters always have to fight their share of ghosts too."

The Colonel finally cracked a smile when Toni lifted her chin to look him square in the eye.

"They sure do Dad," Toni replied as she relaxed considerably in her place. "So? What's new with you Colonel?"

He snickered softly then answered, "Well my life isn't quite as exciting as yours, but…" He got up then and went into the living room after motioning for Toni to remain seated at the table in the kitchen.

Toni stood up from her seat at least a half a dozen times because she wanted to follow him and find out what was going on, but she was so perplexed that she just sat back down before her feet could move each of those times. She was in the middle of standing up for a thirteenth time when her father finally reappeared with a file folder in one of his hands. When he saw Toni standing, he quirked his eyebrow cause her to blush as she quickly sat down again.

"So…" He started as he passed her the file folder. "Word has traveled pretty fast about how you helped out the Wagners… Jack has been singing your praises in the Rec Room to anyone who will listen, so a few other people have approached me with some of the strange stories that their families have told them or strange things that have happened to them."

He took a seat beside Toni while she opened the folder. Inside there were a couple of pages with hastily written notes that she could barely make out. As Toni was trying to make heads or tails out of her father's personal version of short-hand, the Colonel sifted through the pile of papers until he found the one piece of paper that he sought.

"This one seemed like the most likely candidate for you… Now you don't HAVE to take it, but…" The Colonel explained as he laid out some of his research for this particular case. "But it seems to be only going after young kids… From a camp close by… And I know that you really aren't much of a 'kid person', but Angel it's already…"

"Dad no worries… It looks pretty straight forward," Toni interrupted while gripping his hand to comfort him. "I think that I should be good to go a little bit later today to take care of it."

The Colonel quickly looked up at Toni when he heard the slightly wounded tone in her voice saying, "Oh no Angel! I wasn't trying… I didn't mean… Toni… Sweetheart you don't have to leave right away, I just… Well it's just that… That's the only exciting news that you've missed… I didn't mean to make it sound like I wanted to get rid of you or anything…"

Toni leaned over and wrapped an arm around her dad's shoulder to give him a hug answering, "I know you weren't Dad…. But Fond du Lac isn't all that far and since you've done all of the hard work, I should be able to get this done quickly then I'll head back here… I think I'll be able to sleep better while I'm here with you if I finish this job now."

He sighed audibly then replied, "So long as you know that I do want you around."

Toni chuckled, squeezed him close again saying, "I know Dad, I know."

That case then started an odd trend for Toni. For the weeks that followed the case in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, Toni ended up working cases that were between two to four hundred miles from her dad's complex. On the rarest of occasions, she spent the night in a hotel, but a custom was quickly established whereby Toni would finish a job, return home, debrief her father and then she would sleep in her own bed.

"Shit Sam, I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?" Toni asked sympathetically as she propped herself up on her pillows so that she was more comfortable on her bed.

" _I'm okay Toni, really don't worry about me,"_ Sam replied in an attempt to dismiss her worry. _"It's no…"_

"Big deal?" Toni interrupted with a knowing tone. "Sam you can't bullshit me, you know that. There's no fucking way that you're good with what happened in Ohio. I mean… You lost your granddad and a friend… I know that you guys have seen more than your fair share, but this has got to suck beyond belief."

She paused there to let him reply, but Sam remained completely mute. They both then stood their ground in a defiant silence with their phone to their ear, waiting for the other to break first. After a couple of minutes, Toni smiled triumphantly at her reflection in the vanity mirror across the room when she heard Sam sigh then cleared his throat.

" _Well, you're right… It wasn't fun,"_ he finally conceded. _"But casualties are common part of war that we all have to learn to deal with, right?"_

Toni pursed her lips trying not to smile at that comment and then she replied, "Hey I thought that we agreed to play nice Sam… No fair throwing my own words of wisdom at me."

Sam snickered softly saying, _"Sorry… Sorry… But it's true. We've… We've lost a lot of good people over the years and… Well, we just… We can't let it stop us from continuing on, you know?"_

As Sam spoke, Toni sat up off her pillows and swallowed uncomfortably at an image of Jessica that flashed in her mind. Toni had never really been the jealous type, but she had envied Jessica slightly for her relationship with Sam. Although she knew that she would never be the woman Sam would want to settle down with, Toni still wondered what it would be like to be the woman that Sam looked at with such adoring affection like he did whenever she saw him with Jessica. It took more than two semesters for the three of them to be able to hang out and feel somewhat comfortable together whenever they were with their group of mutual friends, but they managed it for a while.

So when Sam spoke about the people he had lost, it was that woman's face that immediate came to Toni's mind as she almost tearfully said, "Oh God Sam, I'm so… I feel like such a… I'm sorry."

They both fell silent again and then Sam caught onto her reasoning and quickly offered, _"No Toni… Don't feel guilty… It's fine… I mean, yeah we've had more than our share of, you know… So we've learned how to deal with it."_

Toni relaxed against her mound of pillows again replying, "Yeah that may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that I wish that there was something that I could do to help you guys."

This time it was Sam's turn to smile knowingly at his reflection as he answered, _"Well… Since you offered…"_

Toni sat up slowly again as she retorted with mock anger, "You bastard! You set me up! You've had a job that you wanted to pawn off on me this whole time…! But seriously Sam… You didn't have to butter me up first; you know that I'm always more than happy to help."

" _I know,"_ Sam chuckled. _"I know, but that was fun… Anyway… Dean and I are heading to Chester, Pennsylvania for… Well for a really strange… We don't even know what it is kind of job…"_

"Okay," Toni cut in skeptically when he paused. "You two are heading to PA, but you don't want my help there?"

" _No, it's probably best if we keep it to just the two of us until we know exactly what it is that we're dealing with and all,"_ Sam explained apologetically. _"But there was this one job that we found in Parker, South Dakota… We thought that Bobby would be up for it, but he's not really ready to take on anything just yet."_

While Sam was stumbling to get his words out, Toni had moved over to her computer desk and was mapping out a route from Madison, Wisconsin to Parker, South Dakota.

"Okay so then you thought of me… I'll let it slide that I'm your second choice… So what is that I'm looking for while I'm there?"

" _Well… What do you know about vampires?"_ Sam questioned as a response.

"I know that I'm more than handy with a machete," she commented in a smug yet defensive tone. "But… Umm… How many are there going to be?"

Sam could hear the apprehension that Toni was trying not to show in her voice, so he immediately jumped in saying, _"As far as I can tell, it's just the one… But we think that he might be trying to reestablish a coven, so if you run into anything that's too harry…"_

"I'll call for back up," Toni cut in softly.

" _Good… And you know, Bobby isn't too far from there if you…"_

"I'll call for back up Sam… And I'll check in with Bobby too once I'm done," Toni asserted with a quiet laugh. "Quit worrying so much. I'll behave myself. But you have to promise that you and Dean will be careful too."

" _We will Toni, we will."_

"Okay good. So I'll see you soon."

" _Definitely."_

_**************************************************************************************_

As Toni hammered down on the accelerator, she awkwardly gripped her left thigh with her right hand. Her eyes darted from side view mirror to side view mirror to rear view mirror before finally landing on the speedometer and then she repeated the circle again. She silently pleaded to God that he would keep the roads clear and (most importantly) free of any highway patrol officers. She knew it wasn't too much farther that she had to drive, but she still had to get there sooner than later or things could turn from uncomfortable to completely unbearable for her too quickly.

She stopped only once out of pure necessity en route to her final destination. If she didn't take that break, she worried that she might pass out in the middle of the highway and kill herself or worse. To further ensure that her eyes wouldn't drift closed, Toni would notch the belt around her thigh a little bit tighter every five miles. At least she did up until the leather started to dig so far into the skin of her thigh under her jeans that it threatened to draw blood on its own.

"Fuuuuuck… Fuck!" She cursed without letting up the pressure of her right foot or right hand after she sucked in a few quick breaths through her clenched teeth and then coached herself out loud, "Fuck… Just hang on… Not much farther…"

After blinking the fog of pain out of her eyes, she almost frantically sought out a street sign to tell her where she was right now. She figured that she should have hit city limits by now, so she was also looking for the less obvious signs that she had been told to look out for. This was made more difficult as twilight descended, but having that to focus on helped Toni to keep from succumbing completely to the pain radiating from her leg.

"Two… (Deep breath) Three… (Deep breath) Fuck… Four… Shit," she seethed before she finally reached the fifth driveway from the chain saw carving of a grizzly bear with a hub cap hanging from its left paw. "Fuck… Please be it… Please…"

When she finally made it through the arch way that confirmed that she had finally made it, Toni allowed herself to take a deep breath. She then parked her truck and took a couple of minutes to stead her breathing before opening her door. The amount of blood that she had lost had started to affect her coordination and as she poured her weight out of the driver's seat, Toni fell momentarily to her knees. She clawed the side of her pickup truck to force herself to her feet and didn't even bother to brush the dirt off her knees before slowly making her way to the front stairs of the house.

By this point, her left leg was almost completely useless so Toni wrapped the tail of the belt around her left palm as many times as she could to puppeteer her leg up the stairs. At the top, she paused to catch her breath and wiped her sweaty brow with her right hand, smearing blood across her forehead to her right temple. She half expected then front door to fly open, but surprisingly enough, she really hadn't made too much extra noise, so it remained closed.

She swallowed a wave of nausea that hit her and quietly told herself, "Just three more steps Toni…Three… Count them out…" She slowly dragged her left leg, silently counting with her eyes squeezed tightly. Her hand finally hit the door frame when she reached 'five' and Toni once again took a couple of seconds to rest as she slumped against the painted wood under her left shoulder.

Toni had just barely been able to ball her right hand into a fist and knock on the door when it started to open abruptly.

"What do you want?" A gruff voice asked her without moving to offer Toni any aid.

"I'm here to… to see… see…" Toni gritted out painfully as she tried to catch her breath so that she would be able to speak.

"See who?"

Toni answered by sucking in a breath through her teeth, so he retorted in an unimpressed voice, "Look, I think you have the wrong place… Maybe you should just go and be on your way."

He took a step inside and started to close the door, but Toni kicked out her good leg to wedge it open. As she pushed herself up off the house pleading, "No… Please… I just… I need…"

Toni had once again lost her words along with the oxygen in her lungs. Now that she was upright, the man who had opened the door could see why she was in such terrible shape. At first he had thought that she had stumbled upon this porch in a drunken stupor, but now he was able to see the wound that was just above her left knee. Although she had attempted to stem the blood flow from her bullet wound, nearly the entire front side of Toni's pant leg had been turned an almost black color from the blood she had lost.

"I just…" She tried again as she took a step forward and fell into his chest.

He somehow managed to catch her as he huffed out a fairly loud, "Damn it!"

"Bobby?" A voice called out from deeper inside the house. "Bobby? Did you get cleaned up for dinner?"

When Bobby didn't answer right away, Ellen moved into the hallway to try to find her husband. "Bobby…? What the hell? Are you running away?"

Bobby struggled to lift Toni enough that he could carry her into the house because of the angle with which she had fallen into his arms. He roughly dragged the semi-conscious woman over the threshold answering, "If I had any brains I would be… But no…"

Ellen finally caught a glimpse of Toni's hair as if fell over Bobby's arm, so she flung the dishtowel she had in her hands over one shoulder teasingly saying, "Usually you sneak the girl in through the back when I'm not around Bobby."

"Very funny… But if you're done being cute, would you give me a hand?" Bobby griped just as Ellen claimed an arm. "My best guess is that one of the boys is expecting her."

"Sorry," Toni whispered. "I'm… Here… For…"

Most of her face was hidden by her hair and Bobby's chest so neither he or Ellen could really hear what she was trying to say. Toni attempted to walk but was mostly dragged into Bobby's study where the two veteran hunters dumped her weight onto the couch. Ellen immediately saw her blood soaked jeans and shook her head sadly.

She then kneeled down beside her sympathetically asking without expecting to get a response, "Darling how long did you have to drive to get here?"

Toni hissed as Ellen loosened the belt slightly to get a closer look at the wound. Any movement near the vicinity of the bullet hole cause an excruciating and sharp pain to run up and down the full length of Toni's leg from her toes to her hip, so she tried to grab Ellen's intrusive hands to stop her probing touch.

Since Toni wasn't saying anything, Ellen just sat back and moved to pet her head to comfort her saying, "Shh Darling, we're not going to hurt you."

Toni was murmuring something quietly, so Ellen pushed her hair back to lean in and get a better listen. As soon as the patient's face was revealed, Ellen nearly shouted, "Toni! Sweetheart, is that really you?"

Toni's eyes flew open and when her eyes locked with Ellen's compassion filled eyes, she shuddered and repeated, "Ellen… Here to… See Ellen."

"I'm here Sweetheart. Now just lie still so that Bobby and I can fix you up, okay?"

Ellen waited until Toni nodded softly and started to relax back on the couch before leaving the room. She met Bobby in the kitchen and took some of the supplies out of his hands to make them more manageable to carry.

"Am I mistaken or did it sound like you know our mystery woman in there?"

With a soft chuckle, Ellen replied, "Yeah I do. Remember that military brat that I told you about...? The one that helped Jo and I out?" Bobby nodded silently. "Well that's Toni McNamara in there. I told her to find us if she ever got into trouble in the area."

"Looks like she took those orders to heart," Bobby commented before leading his wife back into the study.

At first Toni attempted to be stoic and let them work on her without the aid of any anesthetics. As they cut and peeled away the sticking denim from her flesh, Toni kept her complaints to a minimum, but both pairs of hands hesitated while working on her with every involuntary whimper and his that passed through her lips. Toni's eyes were squeezed shut tightly while she tried to anticipate the pain so she missed their adverse reaction to her involuntary noises.

"Toni? Maybe it would help if you took a little something," Ellen offered as she pressed a bottle the injured woman's palm.

Toni opened her eyes and gripped the bottle to keep from dropping it. She wanted to protest, to proclaim that she could make it through without it, but the look in Ellen's eyes told Toni that the older woman might not be able to finish the job, so Toni started to unscrew the cap instead. As she chugged the bottle, Bobby continued to clean the wound and by the time he was ready to extract the bullet, Toni had completely passed out, much to the Singer's relief.

Toni would have been happy to stay on the couch, sleeping off the pain and booze, but she found it nearly impossible not to react when she overheard, "Okay you two… Listen up. You make sure… Keep those angels from sinking that boat. Do you understand me?"

Whoever is was that Bobby was speaking to may have answered, but Toni couldn't really tell because he hung up the phone so abruptly. Toni was just about to roll over to go back to sleep when she heard Bobby slam the phone down on the desk causing her to instinctively sit straight up on high alert to get a better handle on the situation.

"Toni! Geez, I'm sorry. I didn't wake you, did I?" Bobby called out slightly surprised.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes replying, "No Sir… I had a pretty good sleep, so I think that I'm ready for the day."

Her hands touched her legs and then she froze completely in her place. Bobby's eyes quickly flashed to where her hands were then he quietly explained, "I just did the stitching, Ellen changed you into those while I put away the supplies."

Toni swung her legs around so that she was seated facing Bobby and shifted the flannel of her pajama pants to make herself more comfortable.

"Oh… Umm… Thanks for fixing me up," she replied sheepishly. "I really owe you one Sir."

He walked around his desk and passed her a glass of whiskey saying "I think we can consider ourselves even after what you did for Ellen and Jo. My wife and step daughter haven't stopped singing your praises since that job in Idaho."

She took a sip from her drink then quietly said, "That was nothing, really."

"Alright… So… If you don't mind me asking…" Bobby started somewhat hesitantly while looking at her left thigh.

Toni looked down and softly interrupted before he could finish his line of questioning, "I brought a knife to a gun fight." Bobby gave her a quizzical look so she further explained, "The vampire was able to shoot off a couple of rounds before I chopped his head off."

"Ahem," Ellen cleared her throat dramatically to announce her presence. "Toni? My husband isn't getting fresh with you, is he?"

Toni snickered then answered, "No Ma'am, he's been a perfect gentleman."

Bobby was up at his desk as he flashed his wife a wounded look. Ellen gave his a cocky smirk then turned her attention once again to their guest. "Sweetheart, I've made up the guest room, so you don't have to sleep on the couch."

"Oh Ellen this is fine… It's more than comfortable compared to where I've been…"

Toni trailed off when she saw Bobby's shoulders shaking. "Sorry Toni, but you're acting like it's a request… If my wife has set up the guest room then that's where you'll be staying while you're here."

She knew that she was out number and that putting up a fight would be fruitless, so she nodded, finished her drink then wished them both a good night before retreating to her designated room.

When they were alone, Ellen walked up to Bobby and planted a warm kiss on his lips before saying, "I knew I married you for a reason."

The next day, Toni woke up feeling both refreshed and sore beyond belief. There were fresh bandages and peroxide left out on a small table by a window in the room with her duffle bag on a chair, so she took that was Ellen's way of letting her know that she was allowed to take care of her wound from here on out.

She took her time getting ready for the day because it was the first time in months that she didn't have to rush out of a motel room before a maid saw the blood and guts that she left behind in the shower. After her stitches were clean, she took a closer look at them under the lamp on the desk in the guest room.

Although she had worked with Ellen and Jo on a few jobs, Toni really wouldn't have called them 'friends' when she had talked about them because she didn't feel like she knew them well enough to do so. That being said, she knew even less about Ellen's second husband, Bobby, except that he was a seasoned hunter. Looking at his handiwork under a spotlight more than proved that point to her because his stitch work was meticulous and she figured that it would be the wound that would scar the least on her body.

After redressing the wound, she dressed in a pair of jean and a t-shirt then grabbed her favorite hoodie before making her way downstairs. She cringed slightly at how the gauze protruded so much, but she figured that she wouldn't have to pad it so much by the time that she made her way to her father's treatment facility to give them their quarterly check. Then in the back of her mind she calculated how long she thought that it would take for her to be able to walk in heels so that she could earn bigger tips at the club so that she could afford to keep the man who fathered her from killing himself with the bottle by keeping him in that facility.

As she walked down the hallway, she felt a mild unease but when she reached the stairs she nearly fell because her left leg seized up on her. She then slowly made her way down and on more than one occasion she had to keep her left leg completely straight as she moved down one stair at a time. By the time she reached the bottom, she stopped and all that she could do was shake her head. Who would have thought that a piece of metal the size of her pinky nail could cause so much damage?

Since her leg was so touch and go, Toni hoped that Ellen and Bobby would let her stay with them until she was okay enough to drive long distances. She had been working almost completely on her own since her brother William had fallen victim to a vengeful spirit, so she wasn't used to asking for help, but she still hoped that they would offer it so that she wouldn't feel like she was begging.

As she approached the kitchen, Toni heard Ellen and Bobby deep in what she thought sounded like a fairly serious conversation. After she had diverted her course from the kitchen to Bobby's study, Toni heard Ellen hoarsely ask, "So, no just me? But Jo too?"

Toni wasn't about to eavesdrop on their conversation to find out what Ellen meant, so she bee-lined straight to Bobby's desk to familiarize herself with whatever Bobby and Ellen were helping someone fight. She easily made herself comfortable in Bobby's chair to look over his materials, but felt slightly confused about what she found.

She soon became lost in the narration of some Ancient Greek philosopher about 'Fate' that she nearly forgot where she was when she answered the phone that didn't seem to cease ringing.

"Hello? Oh… Umm… Singer residence."

" _Who the hell is this!"_ A male voice asked sharply.

Toni dropped the book that she was reading and pointedly replied, "I'm a guest of Ellen Singer… Who the hell are you?"

" _Well I'm…"_ Suddenly he stopped and Toni heard a slight struggle on the other end of the line with one male admonishing the other for being so rude.

" _Hey…? Umm… Hello?"_ The more polite of the two asked. _"Are Bobby and Ellen there by any chance?"_

Toni swallowed deeply then less forcefully answered, "Umm… I'm sorry, but… Uhh… They're kind of in the middle of something right now... I don't really think that they want to be interrupted either."

" _Oh… Okay… Hey, wait! Toni…? Toni, is that you?"_

Toni sat up straight and looked around the room as if the male on the other side of the phone had a camera feed from this room so that he could see her before she replied, "Maybe…"

He chuckled softly then tried to appease her by gently offering, _"Toni, it's me… Sam… Sam Winchester."_

"Sam? Hey… Wow, so you… Oh… You know Ellen and Bobby and work with them too…" She commented absentmindedly.

Sam whispered something to the other male that was with him and seemed to have had a bit of an argument with his companion before the younger Winchester could say, _"Yeah, we do. So is there any chance…?"_

"Sorry Sam, but no," Toni cut in. "It's barely 2pm and Ellen's already downing shots of whiskey. If you guys want to come back and interrupt them, then you are more than welcome to be my guest."

Sam laughed quietly, however he didn't do so out of disrespect to Toni, instead it was his reaction to how well she seemed to know their friends and replied, _"No, but thanks anyway. Could you just ask Bobby to call us as soon as he can?"_

If Toni wasn't still in a state of shock, she probably would have been offended by Sam's laughter, so she just said, "Of course I will." Sam thanked her and then they both fell silent and Sam was just about to hang up Dean's phone when he heard, "Sam? Sam!"

" _Sorry, I thought the phone had cut out. What's up Toni?"_

Suddenly she felt very shy as she said, "Umm… Well it's been a while… Umm… It was good to hear your voice."

Toni immediately hung up and then Sam tossed Dean his phone with a shrug and had his brother follow him out into the street. Toni forgot to tell Bobby and Ellen about the call because she chose instead to retreat upstairs to hand wash any linens that may have touched her body. She then wrote Ellen a long note thanking her and Bobby for their help and told them that as much as she wanted to stay that she had to get home.

She knew that it was a lie, having to "get home", but she also knew that whatever they were dealing with was probably more serious than a stranger lying to them, so she figured they'd be too distracted to give her too much thought.

_**You're here There's nothing I fear And I know that My heart will go on…** _

Sam and Dean woke up in the front seat of the Impala and Dean swiftly turned off the radio before exiting the car. As they tried to one up each other with the whole 'No MY dream was weirder than yours brother', Castiel showed up to confirm that everything that they remembered happening in that time line wasn't a dream. Instead it was the result of a bunch of 'what ifs' that could and should never have happened.

After the Angel had left them with the "moral of the story', Dean looked over at his brother asking, "So I wasn't with Lay and you and Toni weren't together yet… Consensus…?"

Sam smiled softly, "Yeah, this world doesn't completely suck."

They then moved into Bobby's house and found the elder hunter sleeping on the couch in the study.

As they both stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the study, Sam asked, "Guess things are back to normal, huh?"

Dean scoffed then replied, "'Normal'. Awesome."

"Poor bastard," the younger Winchester started with a nod towards Bobby. "Doesn't even know how good he had it."

Dean threw him a cautioning look asserting, "Yeah, well what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I say we keep our mouths shut."

"Yeah, I'm with you. Should we wake him?"

"Nah," Dean answered somewhat earnestly. "Probably the best he's felt all week."

Dean then walked over to Bobby to place a blanket over him. When he tiredly turned and started towards the hallway and the path to their bedrooms, Dean was stopped by Sam who was easily carrying a passed out Toni in his arms.

"What the hell dude?" Dean questioned in a hushed tone as he followed Sam to the kitchen.

"She was shot… Thigh and upper arm…" Sam hastily replied.

When Sam didn't elaborate and just attempted to maneuver around him to get to the bathroom and the First Aid supplies, Dean grabbed his arm and snapped, "By?"

"A vampire," Sam called out over his shoulder. He noticed that his brother wasn't following or trying to help, so Sam added in a hushed yell, "She said she killed it… So do you think we can keep her from bleeding to death now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make it more clear, here are the differences that existed in this version of the "My Heart Will Go On" Universe:
> 
> Dean doesn't have or know about his having a son so he isn't with the mother.  
> Sam and Toni haven't been romantically involved since college.  
> Toni and her dad have no relationship. She pays for him to be in a facility but never sees him when she goes there.


	22. I Would Cross The Great Divide

Toni woke up to the sensation of someone running a damp face cloth over her forehead. When her eyes focused on her companion, she smiled then stated very matter-of-factly, "He shot me."

Sam chuckled and continued wiping her brow replying, "I noticed. But don't worry, we fixed you up and you're going to be just fine."

"Thanks Sam," she said with a sigh as she tried to sit up.

"Hey, hey, hey… Take it easy Toni," Sam instructed as he gently forced her to lie back down on the bed. "You've had a high fever, so you should rest some more, okay?"

It didn't take much effort on Sam's part to get Toni to comply with his wishes, much to his surprise. Once she was once again comfortable on her back, Toni turned her head and asked in an even tone, "Do I have an infection?"

Sam was trying to fluff her pillow, but stopped to sit down beside her as he answered, "No we don't think that's the cause of the fever… Bobby figures it's just from your body suffering from so much trauma."

"Oh… Right… Two gunshot wounds," she commented mostly to herself before asking Sam, "Were there any other complications at all?"

He looked down at her injured arm, but didn't answer. Toni followed his gaze then tried to move her arm, but stopped when the pain felt too intense.

"Maybe I should go to a hospital to get it casted," she stated softly knowing full well that Sam wasn't about to let her leave her bed right now.

"Bobby doesn't think that it's broken," Sam replied as he pulled out a long piece of cloth. "But it couldn't hurt to put it in a sling."

She nodded then sat up slightly to let Sam gently manipulate her left arm so he could tie the sling around her neck. Toni wasn't used to being treated this way when she was hurt and almost protested, but then her face got nestled behind on of Sam's ears. With each breath she took in, she inhaled Sam's scent and started to feel more at ease, so she just smiled and let him take care of her.

"Hey… Toni… Toni that tickles," Sam protested with a laugh.

Toni gently nipped at a spot under Sam's ear then sat back and gave him a devilish grin. "Sorry… I was just trying to say 'Thank you' is all…"

Toni then leaned back towards him and Sam met her in the middle to share a tender kiss. She raised her right arm and gently petted his cheek while playfully praising, "You definitely have a much better bedside manner than the Colonel's medic buddies I usually have to see to keep a low profile."

Sam laughed against Toni's lips when she pulled his face back to hers. Sam easily let himself get lost in the rhythmic motion of their lips gently molding around each other's with every tender embrace. He shifted slightly and couldn't help but lift Toni's hips to pull her onto his lap. The stitches on her leg pinched when Sam moved her, but she didn't allow that or them catching on her pajama pants to distract her at all from Sam's lips.

Sam slipped his hands up her back then quietly whispered, "I hope you don't thank them this way."

"Saamm," she whined breathlessly while rocking her hips slowly back and forth against him. "You know I reserve this solely for my closest friends."

She then tried to lift her buttocks to slip the waistband of her pants off her hips. She bit at Sam's lips a little bit more aggressively when she felt Sam's fingers interlock with her own because she thought that he was going to help her with her task. He started to match her pace to keep her distracted so that he could lean her back against the pillows and then he kissed his way down to her neck and chest. Toni ran the fingers of her right hand through his hair and let her legs relax even further open to grant Sam better access.

"You need to rest," Sam stated firmly before pecking her chest again and quickly standing up off the bed.

Toni's eyes flew open and she couldn't help but chuckle when she noticed that he was standing just out of striking distance. Sam smiled down at her thinking that he had won; that she was going to behave and continue to rest like her body needed her to. His smile then morphed into a confused frown as he watched her start to awkwardly remove her pants with her one good hand.

"Toni…?" He questioned slowly.

"You want me to rest, right?" Toni replied with a frustrated grunt. "These are catching and tugging on my stitches so there's no fucking way that I can sleep in them…" She looked over at Sam where he was holding a glass of water and a pill, so she tried to sweetly ask him, "You wouldn't mind lending me a pair of boxers to sleep in would you?"

Sam shook his head as he passed her the painkillers and water. Toni took them begrudgingly, but swallowed them quickly when he helped her by finally removing her pants. Sam then took the now empty glass from her, placed it on the nightstand and then kissed the top of her head to show his appreciation.

"Stay right here and I'll be right back," he ordered softly.

Toni gripped Sam's shirt then pulled him forward saying, "Well since my pants are off… Maybe we can have some fun now and then I'll go to sleep… Nice and satisfied…"

Sam pecked her lips while prying her fingers open as he objected, "Maybe later…. Dean and Bobby are still here… And they're awake doing research."

As she sat back, Toni pouted then replied, "Fine, play the sensibility card on me."

Sam shook his head as he placed Toni's duffle bag on the foot of the bed and pulled out a pair of plaid shorts for her to wear. Toni waited dutifully for him by sitting on the edge of the bed and remained silent. Sam kneeled down in front of her and dressed her as quickly as he could without hurting her then then they gave each other a long lingering look for an uncomfortable minute.

Toni could feel her heart starting to race, so she quickly turned away from him. As she burrowed under the covers, she quietly cautioned him saying, "If you want me to rest, you had better get out of here before I jump you."

As he stood up to leave, Sam chuckled then walked around the bed to kiss her head. "The painkillers should help you to sleep too," he whispered against her hair.

She was already snoring softly, so he left her alone to rest. She slept soundly up until the moment when Sam reentered the room. Toni stirred slightly when she felt cold air hit her back before she felt the warmth of Sam's body press up against her back. It was slightly awkward, but Sam somehow managed to slip his arm around her midsection without aggravating either of Toni's injuries.

After he had nuzzled his nose into her neck, Toni moaned then tangled her legs with his. "If I promise to be quiet?" She questioned lowly, knowing that he would understand what she meant as she ground her buttocks into his groin.

Sam chuckled then replied, "Do you think you can?"

Toni moaned an "Uh huh" as she continued to slowly move her hips back and forth. She could feel Sam's body responding to her immediately, so she maintained the same slow deliberate pace of her motion. It didn't take her too long to convince Sam to join in and she just leaned her head back against his shoulder to allow him to kiss her neck. While he continued to embrace her neck and behind her ear, she shivered then shuddered at the sensation of Sam pushing her boxers down to her thigh.

When she hissed in a breath, Sam ceased all movement and worriedly whispered, "Shit… Does that hurt? Are you okay?"

Toni shook her head and moved her injured leg further over Sam's hip answering, "No… Just pinched for a second… I'm fine… Please don't stop…"

"You're sure?" Sam confirmed quietly as he slowly penetrated her.

Toni didn't reply, but just issued another lust filled sigh. True to her word, Toni kept her volume to a minimum during each step of their interaction. Their angle was still more than slightly awkward, but Sam helped her to keep from aggravating her injuries by controlling their pace with a strong hand on her hipbone. Any time that Toni tried to quicken the pace, Sam squeezed her hip without caring if it would bruise because he knew she would ignore her injuries and over exert herself. Sam then muffled his orgasmic cries by biting down on Toni's shoulder and she tried to stifle her cries by biting down on her pillow. When that proved to be too difficult, she quickly stuffed her fist into her mouth and screamed around it.

Toni slowly returned to the conscious world with the sensation of Sam lapping and kissing the mark he had created on her shoulder. Her leg was still uncomfortably slung over Sam's thigh, so she tried to slip it off slowly because blood flow through it was restricted and she wanted to try to get the feeling back into it as soon as possible. Her injuries made that task too difficult, so Sam helped her and didn't skip a beat while lavishing her flesh with soft embraces as he pulled her shorts back up for her once their legs were untangled.

Once the feeling in her limbs had returned closer to normal, Toni rolled over and let her arm fall out of her sling while she tucked herself under Sam's chin saying, "That is most definitely the best medicine."

Sam combed his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head. He then hugged Toni close so that he could roll her onto her back. When he stood up off of the bed without saying a word, Toni slowly raised her head and gave him a questioning look.

"I'm just moving to your good side," Sam explained as he slipped under the covers on the other side of the bed.

Toni immediately rolled over and threw her left arm over his stomach. Sam started stroking her arm then raised his head to look at her stitches once his fingers grazed over them.

"Does your arm hurt at all?" He asked quietly as he rested back against the pillows.

Toni shook her head where it rested against Sam's bare shoulder then replied, "Nope. It was a little achy before, but like I said, sex is the best medicine."

Sam chuckled softly then said, "I thought that that was supposed to be laughter."

"That's for boring people with no imagination," Toni teased before kissing his chest then rested her head back against his shoulder.

Sam ran his hand up and down Toni's arm and traced out each stitch. When he reached the wound, he quietly asked, "So…? Can I ask what happened here?"

"I took a knife to a gun fight," Toni replied moving to place her head on Sam's torso. Sam scoffed softly at her reply so she started rubbing gentle circles on his chest while she further explained, "I forgot that vampires were once human… This one was a bit of a gun nut when he was a human and that's carried into his monsterhood."

"Shit… Toni… I'm so sorry," Sam quietly apologized.

Toni felt him trying to shrink away from her, so Toni swiftly grabbed his right hand with her left and laced their fingers together tightly. Sam still tried to retract away from her even though most of her body was laying on top of him, so Toni pushed herself up with her good arm to look down at him.

"Sam… Don't do that to yourself," she asserted lovingly knowing what his internal monologue most likely sounded like as he spoke.

He closed his eyes and turned his head away from her replying, "Toni, I… I sent you there… I asked you to take this case."

"And I took it knowing the risks, just like any other job." Sam still refused to look at her, so Toni unlatched her hand from his to grip his chin in a tight grasp. He still wouldn't open his eyes to make eye contact with her, but he let her tilt his face back towards her. He missed the sad look that Toni gave him before she kissed his lips then said, "Sam I loved the thrill of this job… I let my guard down… I got cocky…"

When her voice broke slightly, Sam's eyes fluttered open with mild confusion. Sam had never heard Toni sound so unsure of herself but by the time that their eyes locked, she was afforded enough time to put her shields back up. Sam was then even more surprised when he realized that Toni was allowing him to see her vulnerability despite the fact that she had had enough time not to show him.

"I thought it would be a simple, easy job and I let him get the jump on me," she answered Sam's unasked question. "And then he shot me… Which pissed me off beyond belief and now he's dead. I… I made a call from his home phone to 9-1-1 so that the girls he had caged up would be rescued… Then I came here and now… Now I'll be fine… YOU didn't cause this Sam… Don't try to shoulder the blame for this one."

"You got hurt," he stated forlornly as if she didn't know that a bullet wound should be considered a serious injury.

"Then I came here just like you told me I should," she countered softly. "Sam, I… **I** screwed up and got hurt, but I came here to get repaired. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" Sam shook his head, so Toni kissed him again more forcefully then asked, "So… What was your strange case in Pennsylvania all about?"

Again Sam shook his head, but this time he chuckled softly as well. "I'm sorry Toni, but Dean and I promised to take those details to our graves. We haven't even told Bobby… I'm sorry, but I can't tell you Toni. I hope you understand."

His answer annoyed Toni, so she placed her chin in her hand and purposefully dug her elbow into his pectoral muscle. Sam's wincing was punishment enough for Toni, so she backed off and kissed his chest where her elbow ground into him.

"I'll be okay with it if you'll stop fretting about me getting shot," Toni offered more playfully than before.

Sam narrowed his eyes then ran his fingers up and down Toni's spine under her shirt saying, "Can I introduce a change of subject?"

While Toni pretended to contemplate her answer, Sam slowly ran his fingers over each one of her vertebrae. Toni was able to maintain her composure until Sam's fingers breached the waistband of her boxers and gently cupped one of her butt cheeks.

"Fine," she huffed in mock annoyance. "You propose a topic and we'll see."

"What did you mean by 'it's taken care of'?" Sam asked quickly as he gently grazed his nails over the sensitive skin of her buttocks towards her inner thigh.

Toni sighed in the back of her throat, and then she threw her head back as she sighed even more loudly. "Took care of what Sam?" She asked breathlessly in genuine confusion.

Sam stopped and retracted his hand soberly replying, "That's honestly what I would like to know Toni. That… that hasn't made any sense to me since you said it and I'd like to know why it should."

They stared at each other for a moment then Toni pushed herself roughly off his chest. In one fluid motion, she sat up straight and turned away from Sam with her legs hanging over the edge of the bed. He too sat up as well and gently patted her back, but refrained from speaking to let her collect her thoughts so that she could hopefully explain everything to him.

"Toni? If you're not okay with that topic, I could try… Umm… Have you felt the difference the new safety lock makes on the Remington 1911?"

"I… I… I had a procedure," Toni started before turning back towards Sam and taking his hands in hers. "They… Well I won't get too graphic because it's not important, but… Well… It's an implant that prevents pregnancy… If… Well if I… It's… It's not permanent…"

"Oh…" Sam replied as his brain started formulating a million other questions, but he asked just one more, "So you can…? You know without and all…?"

Toni released her death grip on Sam's hands and diverted her eyes as she quietly said, "No… Everyone else has… I've insisted… It's only been these last few times with you that I let… Told you not to worry…" She lifted her eyes to him then added, "We both know that I like sex a lot, but I don't really want to bring a kid into this world right now and I'm not really keen on getting sick with an STD or anything…"

Sam caressed her cheek and as she relaxed into his palm he asked, "Last few times? Don't you mean 'couple' of times?"

She shook her head then replied, "Back in Mississippi… I thanked you… A couple of times… Then we celebrated killing the werewolf… But it's only been those times since the surgery… There hasn't been anyone else that's I've allowed to…"

Sam remained silent after that explanation which made Toni feel strangely self-conscious and caused her to turn her back on him again. She hung her head dejectedly, but it wasn't until she tried to stand up that Sam placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her from getting off the bed. She wouldn't turn to look at him, so Sam shifted forward, wrapped an arm around her waist and then kissed one of her cheeks.

After he had placed his chin on her shoulder, he quietly said, "Thank you Toni… Thank you for being honest with me."

She picked at the dried blood around her wound saying, "You're… you're welcome… But… But Sam…? Sam…? Please don't… don't think that because of this that I'm… I'm some… That I'm a slut or something… I… I… I just… I've been told that my drive… My libido… I've been told that it's normal…"

"Toni… I wasn't trying to critique, I was just concerned," Sam explained softly in an attempt to appease her worried mind. He kissed her neck then turned her chin so that he could kiss her lips. "And at least now we know that one of us is actually normal."

She chuckled then turned around at the waist and slapped his arm saying, "Sam!" in playful exasperation.

"Seriously Toni… I was just worried about you… But now I see that have nothing to be concerned about," he commented as he hugged her and pulled her down on top of himself as he laid down on the bed. "I keep forgetting how absolutely independent…" Toni's body went completely rigid at that comment, so Sam paused then tired a different approach as he continued, "I forgot how intelligent and capable you are… How you have always been able to watch out for yourself…"

Toni didn't try to move out of his hold as she laughed then replied, "Well you already got laid, so why are you trying to butter me up right now? I mean I can't fight anything per your orders and all…"

"I'm just trying to apologize Toni," Sam answered as he caressed her facial features with one of his index fingers. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I was passing judgment on you or your decisions for your life… It has nothing to do with sex or having you work a job for us… I hope that you can forgive me."

Toni leaned down and kissed him before cuddling into his side replying, "If I was 100% right now I would more than show you how much I forgive you… But as much as I hate to admit it, you're right… I need my rest so I'm going to try to sleep now… If you behave…"

Sam chuckled and stroked her hair softly as he kissed her forehead before quietly saying, "I'm elated to hear that… Sweet dreams."

" _ **Hey Vanessa… Is Toni here? I've been trying to get a hold of her…"**_

_**She quickly stole a glance over her shoulder and didn't attempt to hide her discomfort (even though she really wanted to try to) as she replied, "No… Umm… Sorry Sam… She isn't… I'm sorry…"** _

_**Vanessa looked incredibly awkward and wouldn't open the door wide enough for Sam to see inside the room that she shared with Sam's friend, so Sam quickly devised a plan. He discreetly handed Vanessa the book that he had in his hand knowing that she would instinctively loosed her grip on the door to grab it with her dominant hand. When Vanessa did just that and Sam saw that the door was no longer in Vanessa's death grip, he easily bumped the door wide open without her realizing that that was what he was trying to do. He had anticipated seeing Toni hiding in the room, sitting on her bed reading or working on a paper with Vanessa as her accomplice, but the scene he was confronted with froze him completely in his place.** _

**_When Kory heard the dull_ THUD _of the door knob hitting the wall, he stopped his movements and left the packing he was doing to look over his shoulder at the two others in the room. Sam gave Vanessa a questioning look, but she could only shrug in response for fear that she would break down in tears. She absolutely hated being put in the middle of any disagreement and it made her physically ill whenever Toni asked her to run any kind of interference between the two males that were caught up with Toni in a strange love triangle that none of them were willing to acknowledge, so she refrained from uttering a word and left any explanation to Kory._**

_**Kory however had no qualms about his (strange and unconventional) relationship with Toni or her true feelings for Sam, so he stood up smiling brightly as he said, "Oh… Sorry Sam… But Toni's out of town… Thought she'd… Well, I'M just here to HELP her out."** _

**_Sam scowled then tried to stare him down, but that effort had absolutely no effect on Kory at this moment at all. He just picked up the small box that he had been packing and then said to Vanessa as he left, "I think that I have everything that she asked for Vanessa… If you talk to her before I do, just let her know that I'll send it off to her later today… That is if I don't talk to her first…"_ **

_**Kory then left the room, still without acknowledging Sam's presence again. Vanessa was still standing uncomfortably by her bed holding the book that Sam had handed to her, staring at it dumbly and pointedly not looking up at him. Sam then stepped forward and gently touched her hands, causing her to finally turn her tear-filled eyes towards his face.** _

" _ **Vanessa? Are you okay?" He asked quietly as he squeezed one of her hands.**_

_**Toni's roommate shook her head, but made absolutely no move to disconnect herself from Sam's grasp. "She… She asked us not to say anything… She's worried that the University will get mad at her if they find out that she's skipping class… You know since she's on scholarship and all…"** _

**_Sam let go of the petite woman's hand then sympathetically replied, "Get mad…? But Vee… She never misses class… Not even when she had food poisoning… Never…"_ **

_**Before attempting to start any type of explanation, Vanessa set the book in her hands down on the bed then took Sam's hands in hers to lead Sam to Toni's bed for a sit down.** _

" ** _She didn't say much to me Sam before taking off… Just that she HAD to go back to Maryland… That's where the Colonel is living right now… She said something… something…" Vanessa started to break down, but somehow was able to hold it together long enough to get out the rest of her statement, "She said something had happened to her Mom… They're… God… The Army or whoever is flying Mrs. McNamara back to Annapolis… I don't know how bad it is… She didn't know… I don't know how bad it is… I'm sorry…"_**

**_Sam wrapped his arms around Vanessa and hugged her close as he replied, "It's more than okay Vanessa… Please, please, don't worry about me… What I want to know is… is there anything that I can help with?"_ **

_**Vanessa shook her head then almost reluctantly pushed herself off Sam's chest saying, "No, it's okay Sam… Kory… Umm… He's packed up all of the books that she said that she would need… She's even made some sort of arrangements with her T.A. to hand in her assignments so we don't have to worry about that either…"** _

" ** _So she's got everything under control then," Sam cut in to keep Vanessa from having to explain more in depth since she sounded like she was going to break down in sobs at any second. "But I'm serious Vee… Let me know if I can help with anything."_**

_**She nodded then Vanessa gave him one last lingering hug at the door before she answered aloud, "If all of this were up to me Sam…"** _

_**Sam squeezed her tight against his frame saying, "I know Vanessa, I know…"** _

_************************************************************************* _

**_He wasn't completely sure when this hallway had become a part of his regular route to his lecture halls, but Sam had an excuse for practically any situation if anyone questioned his motives. When it rained, he was able to keep dry without the aid of an umbrella and when it started to get uncomfortably hot, he could stay indoors where the air-conditioning of the buildings would keep him cool. The fact that this particular path would periodically find him running into Toni when she was heading in the direction of her classes was just a perk that he would never admit to himself or anyone else. Things were going great with Jessica, but he still cherished his friendship with Toni and appreciated being able to work out theories on their way to class when he and Jess weren't taking the same courses._ **

**_After his last meeting with Vanessa, he started to linger in this hallway more frequently in the hopes that he might possibly run into Toni, without her knowing he was trying to force a meeting between the two of them. All he wanted to do was to double check on her and to offer her his support, but now he was starting to feel uncomfortable because a couple of Jessica's friends passed by him and gave him questioning looks as they said 'Hello' to him. Since he hadn't actually seen her since the incident with her mother, Sam moved towards Toni's room while telling himself that a quick check with her at her room couldn't hurt anything… Or anyone._ **

_**After hearing, "Kory! Kory! Wait up a sec!" Sam froze in his place and he inadvertently had a perfect view of the conversation that ensued from that desperate shouting.** _

" ** _Look… I have my own work to get done, what is it that you need now?" Kory snapped almost angrily._**

" _ **I… I know," she apologized with an undeniable hitch in her throat as he tentatively held out her hand towards him. "But… You forgot to pack this… It… She…"**_

_**Kory stepped forward, took the small black box with the gold inlay from her then more sympathetically said, "Thanks Vanessa… She does… Sorry… It's just…"** _

" _ **Been a long day of hard labor… I know… Thanks again for taking care of everything… I couldn't… I… I… You know…" Vanessa started to cry, so Kory balanced the box onto one hip so that he could give her a side hug.**_

" _ **I know… For me too… But… But… She promised to call, right?"**_

**_Vanessa nodded against his arm then wiped her nose over the length of her sleeve before replying, "You're right… You're right… And that would make the last of it, right? She'll have everything she needs?"_ **

" _ **Yeah… Right…" He stated before kissing her temple. "Sorry… But I really do have to go… Especially if I'm going to send everything off to her today."**_

" ** _Of course," Vanessa said softly as she stepped out and away from his embrace. "So I guess I'll see you later Kory… Thanks again…"_**

_**Vanessa turned back towards her room and was only halted when she saw Sam. She couldn't help herself from taking a couple of quick steps towards him, shaking her head sadly and then nearly threw herself at him and cried into his chest. Sam was too stunned to react for a couple of minutes, but then he dropped his book bag and tried his best to comfort Vanessa by stroking her hair softly.** _

" _ **Hey… It's okay Vanessa," he said against her hair as he led her back to her room. He wasn't sure why he was trying to console her but he kept repeating, "It's okay, it's okay…"**_

_**After another minute or two, Vanessa had calmed herself down enough that she was able to say, "Sorry… Sorry Sam… But she's… she's… gone…"** _

_**Sam couldn't reply through his confusion and when Vanessa saw the look on his face and tears welling up in his eyes, she quickly added, "Oh… God… No… No, not like that… Sorry… Sorry… No, Sam, she's dropped out… After three years of following her dream… She… she's dropped out of school and gone back home… She says that she's not coming back…"** _

_**Now Sam was too stunned to speak momentarily, but he tried to remain stoic for Vanessa's sake as he asked, "Is… is everything okay…? With her family…?"** _

" _ **I… I don't know… She wouldn't… Didn't say much except that she couldn't stay here anymore… Then she quickly packed up as much as she could and… and said that she'd call or email with the address that I could send the rest of her stuff to… I've tried… More than once… To ask her for details, but wouldn't say… Wouldn't give me any details… And now… Now she's just gone…"**_

_**Sam passed her a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. She took it graciously then gave the fridge a long, sad look absentmindedly saying, "She lugged that out of our old dorm rooms and into our new ones… She didn't ask us to pack it or ship it out to her."** _

_**Sam chuckled softly then said, "Well it sounds to me like she wants you to have it."** _

_**They stood there in silence while Vanessa smiled softly and then she dropped the still closed water bottle onto her bed and took Sam's hands in hers offering, "Once I know more Sam… I promise… I could let you know if you wanted…"** _

_**Sam shook his head then replied, "No… Don't… If she wants me to know the details, she knows where to find me… She can let me know… But if you need anything Vee, just let me know, okay?"** _

" _ **Sam… You know… She… She does…" Vanessa tried to console and comfort him awkwardly.**_

_**As he turned away to leave, Sam quietly replied, "No, she doesn't… We both know that… Take care of yourself Vanessa."** _

_**She wanted to say something else, to press the matter, but stopped herself when Sam just continued out of the room. He pulled out his cell phone as he walked towards his lecture hall (for which he was now going to be more than late) and stared at the last text message that Toni had sent him when they had a class together the previous semester.** _

" _ **Just CH 2 right?" Was the last thing that she asked him via text message. He was feeling hind of stupid and lame that the last thing he technically said to her was, "YEP".**_

_**They managed to maintain the façade of a friendship for six months, but then Toni silently started to distance herself from him and the rest of the "group". When that didn't work, Toni would make up some kind of excuse to get out of their outings. Sam finally stopped trying to get her to come out with them when she once said that she had to study for a big final even though summer vacation had already started. Then the only times he heard from her were short text messages to double check that she had the correct chapters written down for their latest assignment and the messages were never more than six words.** _

_**Now he was staring at her name and contact information. She hadn't attempted to call or text when something had happened to her mother (he still wasn't sure what had happened once Mrs. McNamara was transported to Annapolis, so he still wasn't aware of Toni's mother's passing) and he felt like she was once again giving him the cold shoulder now. Deep down her knew that it had to be something terrible that had happened to herself or her family for her to have dropped out of school, but he had nothing to go on from there since Vanessa wasn't able to give him any details.** _

_**He should have stopped himself, but he didn't notice that he had dialed her number until he heard the phone ringing. He quickly terminated the call then thought to himself,** _ **Goodbye Toni** _**, before hitting the confirmation to delete her contact information.** _

She had her back turned to him and seemed to be completely preoccupied preparing a meal at the stove, so Sam figured that he would be able to sneak up on her. He and his brother had spent more than enough time at Bobby's house over the years that he had time to learn all of the quirks of the house and knew every floorboard he had to sidestep in order to avoid detection. He made it through the door frame easily and Toni was still just humming to herself, so Sam figured that he had succeeded in sneaking up on her.

What he didn't see while being focused on his own steps was that Toni had gently placed the frying pan on the stove top and took a small step back before Sam encircled his arms around her waist to ensure that he wouldn't burn himself.

"I thought that we had an agreement and that you were going to rest."

She hugged his arms then turned around when he released her as she shrugged and replied, "I have… For three days now… So when I couldn't sleep, I got up to read… You know no heavy lifting or anything… Then I got hungry, so I figured you guys would be too once you woke up… I just wanted to do…"

"You figured right Darling," Bobby called out as he walked into the room. "And it smells absolutely delicious."

Toni gently pushed against Sam's stomach then nodded towards the table. Sam complied with her nonverbal command and then she smiled when she saw Bobby with his eyes closed as he inhaled the scent of the coffee in his mug.

"Well it isn't much, Bobby, but I hope you enjoy."

Bobby took the plate of toast and scrambled eggs that Toni was handing to him and Sam then chuckled as Bobby started saying, "We are never ungrateful when someone is willing to bring us a hot meal. Thank you for cooking, but…"

Toni found a seat beside Sam then interrupted, "I'll rest some more after breakfast." She noticed that Sam was laughing silently beside her, so she jabbed an elbow into his side then said, "And it's nice to finally meet you in person Bobby… And thanks again for all of your help with that… You know… And all…"

Bobby nodded with a soft smile then swallowed his mouthful of food to reply, "I am always more than happy to help when I can. I'm just glad that these boys were smart enough to give you my number and that you were smart enough to use it."

Sam nearly choked on his food because he had no idea that Toni had been in contact with Bobby before arriving on Bobby's door step. When he looked over at Toni out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that she was playing with her food and was trying to avoid looking over at him. He started to reach over towards her under the table, but before he could comment, Dean entered the room while talking fairly loudly on his phone.

"Yeah Buddy that's what the worm thing said… Well no… No… If your Mum said that you have to finish your homework first… No… Toby we've been over this a thousand times… You can't try to use me or researching to get out of doing your homework when I'm not there… Toby… Toby no… TOB… That's better… Yeah, okay… Thanks Buddy… Hey Lay… Whaf?" Dean somehow gravitated directly towards the food at the stove while speaking with Toby and the other three watched in unsurprised, yet fascinated awe. "No someone made breakfast so I was… Yeah… Yeah… Perfect… Thanks… Yeah I'll call when we know more… Good… Yeah… Okay… Love you too… I told him that… Okay, talk to you later."

He stayed at the stove eating the eggs out of the frying pan with his back turned to all of them until Bobby cleared his throat loudly. Dean then turned, fingers still in his mouth, before he flashed the three of them a bright smile.

"Bobby I don't know how you did it, but these are the absolute best scrambled eggs that you have ever made… Seriously, these are good."

Toni smiled to herself then returned to her meal as she replied, "All I did was add a bit of cinnamon to them. It's really no big deal Dean."

"And there ARE clean plates in the sink son," Bobby commented when Dean carried over the pan to the table with a fork in hand. Dean just shrugged and continued eating out of the pan without attempting to look concerned.

"So…?" Toni started in an attempt to cut through some of the awkwardness and get them all back on course. "Was that that Toby on the phone?"

Dean smiled again then answered, "Yeah… He and Lay are going to see what they can find out about Eve…" He paused then looked at Toni to clarify, "The Mother of All bitch that escaped Purgatory and caused all that havoc on that job…"

Toni nodded then swallowed her coffee before replying with a cheeky grin when she saw that Dean's demeanor had become somewhat standoffish, "Once Toby has finished his homework you mean."

Sam snickered as Dean smiled and nodded in appreciation of her joke that broke some of the tension he was feeling. Bobby finished his meal then very plainly stated, "So they'll be helping us look into Eve and Purgatory while Toni rests… Sounds good to me."

Toni froze then stared at him with her jaw clenched tightly, but she swallowed her aggravation and nearly whispered, "Yes sir."

Sam could see the color rise and fall from her cheeks, so he gently squeezed her damaged thigh saying towards the eldest hunter, "While she's healing, I'm sure that Toni would be more than happy to help us with research… Seriously Bobby, Toni has always been beyond meticulous when we were studying together."

Toni smiled to herself, but kept her eyes on her food while placing a hand over his to give Sam's hand a grateful squeeze. Bobby watched both of them closely while he seriously contemplated what they had just proposed.

Without taking any notice of the other three, Dean kept devouring his mean adding, "Bobby, Sam's right… Toni's almost more anal than he is when it comes to making sure that all of the bases are covered… And she can read three languages, so that comes in handy."

Toni huffed out an indignant, wounded sound while kicking Dean under the table. Dean scowled then looked up and quickly retorted, "I said ALMOST Toni… ALMOST as anal… But now I'm thinking…"

Bobby once again cleared his throat loudly to get them all back on track and the three younger hunters looked over at him almost guiltily. "Alright, fine, she… I mean, you can help with the research we'll be doing here at the house. But, I personally would feel better if you didn't go and fight anything or get too overly physical during any workouts until that arm of yours is healed."

"Me too… For what it's worth, your range of motion is kind of worrisome," Sam added with another gentle squeeze on her thigh.

Toni looked between the two of them then took in a deep breath and tried to sound light-hearted as she said, "Well… I guess that means that you boys will be doing the dishes…" She caught Sam's eye then added with a shrug, "Hey, I made breakfast all by my lonesome… You don't want me to over-exert myself my lugging around those dirty dishes, do you?"

All three of the men laughed softly then Bobby commented towards the younger Winchester, "Sam she definitely more than fits in here… Toni why don't you get set up in the study? Sam, you make sure that Toni's comfortable, okay? Let me know if you need anything."

Sam was on his feet and leading Toni by her arm in a sling towards the study before Dean had fully digested the conversation. As soon as the words registered in his ears, Bobby was handing him the dish soap saying, "I have to get the books out that we need… Sam doesn't know where some of them are… Now your brother is making sure that Toni isn't over doing it… So I guess that means you're the last one left to do the dishes."

Dean looked over at the sink then the pan that was in his hand and started to grumble about having to do housework when there were more important things, like stopping Eve to do. Bobby just left the room without saying another word, so Dean just continued his path to the sink.

"Her breakfast was good, but I still don't see why I HAVE to do the dishes."


	23. That Keeps Me Swimming

After replacing the stack of books that the four of them had read through, Bobby passed yet another stack of hard covered books to Dean. Bobby turned and carried a small pile over to his desk while Dean split the load in his arms that he was carrying with his brother. Sam made sure that the books he took from Dean's grasp were within Toni's reach and were positioned so that she wouldn't have to move too much to get one of them when she was finished reading over the text that she had in hand at any particular point in time.

For too long the only sound that filled the small room was that of pages being turned accompanied by the sound of the four of them breathing almost rhythmically in and out. They each had a journal or pad of paper to take down notes, but none of them had found anything of interest or any information about Eve that was worthy of being noted or committed to memory as of yet.

As Toni exchanged one book for another, she froze completely mid-reach and hissed out an involuntary breath loudly. Sam swiftly dropped the book he had been reading in response to Toni's reaction and fell to his knees in front of Toni's place on the couch as he worriedly asked, "Toni…? What's wrong? Do you need an ice pack? A pain killer? Should I help you back up to bed?"

Bobby and Dean watched the younger Winchester and nearly laughed out loud, but they both remained silent when they saw the look that immediately made itself home on the injured woman's face. As soon as Sam had seemingly over-reacted to Toni's pain-filled noise, Toni's jaw had clenched in a hard line and her neck turned a bright crimson color that neither Dean nor Bobby had seen before, so they opted not to find out how angry that meant that she was at that moment.

By the time that Sam had taken the time to look up from Toni's two injuries, her face had softened and the coloring of her skin had finally returned to normal. She then took one of Sam's hands in the grasp of her uninjured hand and tugged on it until he was standing up right. Sam followed her silent direction and returned to his rightful place beside Toni on the couch while she took in a few deep breaths and then she twisted her torso so that she could face the younger Winchester straight on.

"Sam I'm fine," Toni asserted calmly. "But when I moved just now, my leg kind of cramped up on me because… Well… You know three days of practically no activity… I think that my muscles are like atrophying or something, so it's nothing to be worried about… Okay?"

Sam blushed slightly before replying, "Right… Your body is used to having more physical activity than you've been having on a daily basis…"

Toni nodded but before she could answer, Dean started to laugh softly to himself. Bobby completely misunderstood the direction in which this conversation was headed, so he put down the dusty volume that he was reading in order to attract the three other hunter's attention towards himself.

As all of their eyes locked on his face, Toni thought that she had caught onto his train of thought, so she dropped Sam's hands and raised her own up defensively.

"Oh God! No… No Bobby… Not like that… I… I usually go out for an hour long run every day, Sir… That is… Unless… Unless I've worked a job that has given me comparable cardio," Toni quickly explained as she felt her neck and cheeks start to heat up with embarrassment.

"Oh…" Bobby replied contemplatively. "Well your leg probably hasn't healed up quite enough to run, but it sounds like you might have a point… Sitting around all day long isn't going to help you much either…"

Toni stared at him with her eyebrows turned down to show her confusion. Bobby smiled softly then continued his explanation light-heartedly, "The scrap yard is pretty big, I don't see any reason why you can't wander around the acreage for short stints to give your body a bit of a light workout."

Sam turned back towards Toni then tentatively added, "If you want some company while you're out there…"

Toni patted Sam's hands and knee replying, "Thanks… That sounds like a really good idea, but I think that I'll at least wait until after lunch."

Suddenly the three men all turned to check a clock or their wrist watch. Dean was the first to register the current time and nearly whined, "When did it become afternoon?"

As she stood up, Toni detached herself from Sam's grasp then said with a cheeky laugh, "Umm… Just a little over an hour ago… I'll go see what I can put together for lunch."

Before leaving the room, Toni replaced her left arm slowly and carefully in the makeshift sling that Sam had created for her which gave Bobby enough time to catch up to her. Without noticing the older man at her side, Toni turned to walk to the kitchen, but she was quickly stopped by Bobby gripping one of her shoulders.

"You already took care of breakfast, why don't you help Sam put away some of the books that we're finished reading through while I make us all lunch? Alright?"

Toni almost protested, but then she reminded herself that she was a guest in Bobby's home. He had provided her a safe place to sleep and rest, had practically saved her life by extracting two bullets from her body and stitched up both of her wounds without asking for anything in return, so she couldn't disrespect him by going against his wishes right now. Instead she moved back to the couch and started piling up the books while answering with a quiet, "Yes Sir."

Bobby stopped in his tracks when he heard Toni's almost sad sounding response, but Sam waved him off and mouthed, "I got this." Bobby then nodded and continued on his previous path without saying another word.

Sam picked up the pile of books that Toni had put together on the couch saying, "Here… Why don't you hold onto them and I'll put them back on the shelf?"

Toni nodded and walked over beside Bobby's desk silently and waited obediently for Sam to join her. He turned to his brother then motion with his head for Dean to leave the room because he knew that there was no way that he could get through to Toni if they had an audience. Dean frowned knowing that this most likely meant that he was now being tasked to help Bobby with preparing their meal or cleaning dishes again. Although Dean really wanted to gripe, he didn't and left his brother to try to smooth things over with the frustrated woman.

"So does Bobby have a system here or…?" Toni quietly asked while she handed a book to Sam as he walked towards the book shelf.

Sam laughed then replied, "None that I can see… Books on shelf is the only discernible order that I've ever been able to establish."

"You know if he actually did categorize them and had them catalogued, it could make researching different monsters a heck of a lot easier."

Sam didn't skip a beat while he jammed the books back on the shelf any which way that he could as he replied, "Well he has thousands of books here, so if you want to tackle that job, please feel free and be my guest."

Before passing Sam another book, Toni surveyed the library with a thoughtful eye. As she gave him the next book to put away, she stated, mostly to herself, "It would probably take at least a week… If no one was around to interrupt… But it could be doable."

Sam scoffed softly as he plucked a book out of her hand while she was lost in her own thoughts. Once her hands were empty, Toni's eyes turned towards Sam's face then her hand flinched and she punched Sam in the arm indignantly saying, "What? Not like I'm GOING to do it. Geez Sam."

"Well I don't think that anyone would stop you if you wanted to," Sam offered with a shrug. "You know if you wanted a project while you're supposed to be recuperating and all…"

Toni just shook her head then replied, "No… That's okay… I mean… It… It would be a little disrespectful after everything that Bobby's done for me to turn around and basically say, 'Oh… By the way since you don't know how to organize your study, I went ahead and did it for you…' Plus… Who's to say that this chaos doesn't make perfect sense to Bobby, right?"

"Touché," Sam conceded with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow.

He had the last few books that needed to be shelved in his hand, so Toni moved behind the desk to look at the texts that had been left out by Bobby. She knew that they needed to find anything they could about Eve, but the books that Bobby had left out seemed to focus mostly on Purgatory, Heaven and Hell. She presumed that he was hoping that by learning everything about the 'where' that she came from that it would help to shed some light on the 'who' that was their latest foe.

Although she understood that rationale, there was one book that seemed completely out of place in relation to the other books left out. After she flipped open the cover of the brown leather journal, she became even more confused because she had expected the dates of the events that were recorded to be of some historical significance, but what she actually saw were dates that had occurred during her own lifetime. Most of the writing was too illegible for her to make out, so she just flipped to random pages haphazardly without really registering what was written on any of the pages.

"Whose journal is this?" She finally asked without turning her eyes away from it. "It doesn't look like yours or Bobby's writing."

Sam couldn't see which journal Toni was referring to among the piles of books that littered the desk, so he quickly placed the last book on the shelf to move to her side. After taking a couple of steps towards her, Sam could see the pages as Toni continued to turn them, so he stopped and turned away from her before answering.

"Oh… That's Dad's…" He finally replied somewhat flippantly.

Toni stopped mid-motion and tried to speak, but for some reason she just couldn't. She opened her mouth again, but felt like her knees might were going to give out on her, so she sat on Bobby's chair before she actually did fall. Sam quickly noticed her deafening silence and once again moved to stand at her side, but refrained from interrupting her train of thought in anyway.

"So this…? This…?" Toni held the leather bound book up and turned towards Sam to show it to him. "This is YOUR Dad's journal? The…? THE journal John left behind for Dean?"

Sam chuckled in response to Toni's flabbergasted tone which caused her to blush profoundly before she sheepishly commented, "Sorry… Sorry… I'm still kind of getting used to the whole idea of my favorite literary characters being real… And that I know them…"

"Actually… You know one of them REALLY well," Sam teased quietly before leaning down to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"Yeah…" She drawled out slowly as she opened her eyes. "Dean and I have had some really great conversations when he's helped me with those jobs…"

"Toni…" Sam cautioned trying not to let her bait him.

She flashed him a self-satisfied grin, so Sam fell down to his knees then caressed her cheek gently. Her smirk started to morph into a concerned pout when Sam didn't reply or say anything else to her. Instead he just frowned while giving her his signature "wounded puppy dog" look.

"Sam…? I'm…" She started remorsefully until she was silenced by Sam straightening up and pulling her face to his to kiss her more deeply.

Toni's left arm was still safely wrapped in her sling and her right hand remained resting protectively on John's journal motionless in mild shock as Sam's fingers weaved their way through her hair at the back of her head. Without breaking the embrace, Sam stood up and kissed her more aggressively once he towered over her because he could feel that she was allowing him to dominate her like she never had in the past.

To make them both a bit more comfortable, Sam bumped the arm of the chair with his knee to swivel the chair around so that they would be facing each other. The chair moved easily but that action caused Toni's had to inadvertently slip off the leather cover of the journal.

She then used her now free hand to push back on Sam's chest before saying through a sigh, "Dad…"

Sam was so taken aback by her response that he took a step away from her and once he had increased the space between them she almost frantically continued, "He'd… Oh SHIT! Shit…! Fuck!"

Toni stood up suddenly, sending the chair violently back with her motion and causing it to slam against the side of the fireplace behind Bobby's desk with a loud _CRASH_. Sam tried to catch her free arm, but with the chair now in between the two of them, all his moving accomplished was him slamming his knee, hard, into the arm of the chair.

He cursed loudly, but didn't look up from his new injury until he heard Dean ask, "What's going on? We heard…" He cut himself off abruptly when he saw his brother rubbing his sore knee beside the now empty chair and instead quickly asked, "Where's Toni? What happened?"

Sam didn't take the time to answer Dean and just rushed out of the room to follow Toni's path out of the room and up the stairs. Dean almost called out to him, but Bobby tugged on his arm and they hurried to find Toni with Sam as well.

"No Sir… I'm at Bobby's place," she was explaining into her phone, sounding like a timid teenager after they had been caught doing something they were forbidden to do by an authority figure. "The three of them tended to my wounds and I've been on bed rest ever since Sir."

" _Thank God you made it there Angel. But…? How are you really? How bad were… Are your injuries?"_

"I'm okay Dad; really it's no big deal… Just a tiny .22… Now if he had of used a .45 or something…"

" _Antonia,"_ The Colonel cut in with a stern tone. _"I don't care what caliber it was, you were shot and then I didn't hear from you for five days… I've been worried sick about you."_

"I know Dad and I'm SO sorry… But I remembered everything you, Mom, Will and Alex taught me about survival and then I drove straight to Bobby's like I was supposed to if I ran into any kind of trouble…" She looked up while pacing and let a tear slide down her cheek when she came face to face with the three other hunters who were hovering outside of the open door. "Then they… Bobby and the guys… They took care of everything Sir… I promise I'll be fine… Really I will… I'm so sorry that you were worried… I know I should have called sooner… I really didn't… I never meant… I'm…"

" _It's alright Angel. It's alright. Please don't be upset… Please don't cry,"_ her dad interrupted with a calm, soothing voice. _"You're alive and that is ALL that matters to me in the end."_

"Thanks Dad, but still… I'm so sorry."

" _Apology accepted…"_ He replied with a mild tease overtaking his tone. _"If…"_

Toni quickly turned her back on the others so that they wouldn't be able to hear her before asking in a worried, hushed whisper, "If what Colonel? I swear I'll do anything to make it up to you Sir."

" _If… Umm… Could… could I maybe talk to Bobby?"_

"Dad! Geez… Uhh… Yeah… Okay… But… But just keep in mind that he's a REAL person, okay? Try not to gush too much, alright?" She hurriedly warned him.

" _Yes Toni, I know that he's a REAL person. I just wanted to thank him… You know, for saving your life and all?"_ He replied sounding slightly wounded. _"Plus… Have I embarrassed you when I've talked with Sam or Dean?"_

"No Sir, you haven't… I'll… I'll just go get him for you," she agreed quietly. Before turning around, Toni took a deep breath to try to keep calm and silently pleaded to God to let the impending conversation between the two men to go well. And for Bobby not to kick her out at the end of it.

Sam, Dean and Bobby watched her in silence and didn't move until she turned fully around. Toni took a couple of tentative steps forward, so they all entered the room to close the distance between them.

"My… Uhh… My dad would like to… Umm… To talk to you," she announced softly to her feet as she put her hand out towards the group.

Sam took a step forward and squeezed her shoulder to try to reassure her saying, "Sure, that's no problem Toni."

Before Sam could take the phone, Toni hid her hand behind her back and timidly explained, "No Sam, not you or Dean… Umm… He wanted to… to finally talk to… Uhh… To Bobby."

Sam couldn't help but smirk because he knew how big of a fan Toni's dad was of Chuck's books, so he understood her trepidation. The first time he had spoken with the Colonel, the older man had almost been shy. Sam figured (correctly) that Toni's dad's reaction had been more out of nervousness than actual shyness and Sam wasn't really one to judge because he had felt his own throat constrict when he first tried to start a conversation with the father of the woman that he… Well the woman that he was 'with' right now.

Bobby stepped around Sam to claim Toni's phone then confidently announced into it, "Colonel McNamara, you wanted to talk Sir?"

Toni moved over beside Sam who instantly wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a quick side hug.

" _Uhh… Yes, Mister Singer I did… I… Uhh… I wanted to thank you for taking care of my daughter. I know that she can be quite a handful and if there is anything that I can do to repay you…"_

Bobby turned around and smiled at Toni then replied loud enough to be sure that the three younger hunters would hear him, "Not to worry Colonel, it's what we all do for each other, so no repayment is necessary… And to be honest, when you've had to deal with the Winchester brothers for as long as I have… Well your daughter's stubbornness barely registers Sir… And please, call me Bobby."

Dean and Sam scoffed indignantly while Toni bit her lip to keep from laughing and Bobby continued his conversation without showing his acknowledgement of any of their reactions. "Plus… Toni's been a huge help with our research and she helps me keep the boys in check, so I'm more than happy to have her around Colonel."

Toni's dad chuckled softly saying, _"I can only imagine what that could be like… And Bobby…? After what you've done for me and my family, there's no need for you to be so formal, just call me Tom… Thank you Bobby… Thank you for everything."_

Bobby winked at Toni then nodded towards her. As Toni approached him, Bobby finished the conversation with a final, "Always happy to lend a hand when I can, but I'll let you catch up with your daughter right now… Hopefully we'll get to talk more in the future."

Toni took the phone from Bobby and watched as he patted Sam on the shoulder and then gently guided Dean by the elbow out of the room. Sam stayed behind, but it was Toni that snuggled up against him seeking a comforting embrace.

"So… That's Bobby…" She started slowly. Sam rubbed a few soft circles on her back then kissed the top of her head once Toni wrapped an arm around his midsection as she held her phone awkwardly in her left hand since her arm was still in a sling.

" _That certainly was… Thanks Angel… But I should let you get back to your work now, just don't…"_

"I'll call Dad, I promise. I really am sorry that I worried you. I'll check in and I'll try to get home once I can drive again," she jumped in quickly to try to ease his mind.

" _And don't forget to tell the guys that when they get here to Madison, I owe them a drink…"_

"DAD!" Tony nearly shouted in surprise.

" _Okay… Okay… Dinner… I owe them a steak dinner."_

"That's better," she agreed at a lower volume. "They never say no to free food."

" _And tell them that they always have a place to rest their head or lay low if they need to as well… Make sure that they know that they are always welcome here…"_

"I will Dad… I mean… I have… They know already…"

" _Good, good. Okay… You keep out of trouble Angel. I love you."_

Toni sniffled softly then replied, "I'll try my best dad, but no promises… Trouble seems to be part of the job description and all… I love you too and I WILL call you soon."

After Toni hung up the phone, she sat down on the bed beside Sam and rested her head on his shoulder. "Sorry… I should have explained before taking off on you like that, but I really just needed to call him. I can't believe that that wasn't the first…"

"Hey… Shh… It's more than okay…" Sam interrupted while wrapping his arm around her and massaging the shoulder of her injured arm softly. "This is still a fairly new facet of your relationship with the Colonel, so don't beat yourself up about it."

"Yeah… He… Says the… Same… Thing… So… I'll try… Not… To…" Toni replied through several prolonged yawns.

"Good to hear," Sam replied before kissing her forehead.

Toni didn't say anything in response and then Sam felt her breathe out a couple of puffs of air onto his neck. Now that she was sleeping, Sam could move he with ease so he slipped one of his arms under her legs then lifter her up to lay her down on the bed. Even though he tried to be as gentle with her as possible, Toni still winced in her sleep when Sam touched her thigh and pulled the covers up over her injured shoulder.

He waited until her facial features had softened again before he kissed her forehead and left the room. He found his brother and Bobby back in the study, eating and completely engrossed while they were reading through yet another shelf of texts.

"Did you guys find anything helpful?" Sam asked as he entered the room.

Bobby looked up, rubbed his eyes and replied while shaking his head, "Nope… Nothing yet. How's Toni doing?"

Sam took the plate that Dean was holding up and made himself comfortable on the couch. "She left things off on a positive note with her dad and then she fell asleep. I tuck her in for a nap, so I guess that means she's doing okay."

Bobby and Dean simply nodded in response then all three turned back to their meals and research materials. After what felt like hours, the men made it through another shelf of books without finding anything close to a new lead. Dean had become restless quickly, so he went out to work on some random noise that the Impala had started making over the past month, much to Sam and Bobby's relief, while they continued their thorough scrutiny of Bobby's texts.

As he closed the last book on his desk, Bobby let out a loud, frustrated sigh. "I think that I've read this book three times now." Sam looked over and watched as Bobby rubbed his eyes again and commented to himself, "It feels like we're going in circles now…"

"Umm… Bobby? I think… I might know about something that might be helpful to us," Sam offered with slight hesitation.

Bobby quirked an eyebrow replying, "Well son, you know me, I'm never one to turn down a new potential lead… So…? Why are you beating around the bush?"

"Well… It's how I know about it… Umm… Dean really… Uhh… I don't think that Dean will like it…"

"Let me worry about your brother Sam… Just tell me what it is and then I'll take it from there," Bobby replied as he turned his full attention to the younger Winchester.

"Umm… Well… I've been getting some flashes here or there…. You know, like memories from the time that I spent with Samuel…" Sam finally looked over to Bobby and relaxed slightly when he didn't receive the negative reaction that he had anticipated. "Okay… Well… Back at the compound… Uhh… The Campbell Compound… There's a library that's hidden away… In it… There's… They had… Have books as old, if not older than some of the texts that you have here… So… So… I was thinking…"

"Maybe they might have something helpful in them," Bobby finished and Sam nodded in confirmation. Bobby then quickly concluded, "I guess that means that we're road tripping."

"Road Trip? Where to?" A voice questioned hopefully from the door to the study.

Sam threw Bobby a worried look, so Bobby answered the questions with an easy smile on his face, "Let me grab us a beer and I'll explain everything Dean."

Toni woke up to the bed shaking slightly from side to side. Her arm had fallen out of its sling, so she inadvertently used it to help roll her body over so that she could see who had awoken her by moving the bed. As soon as her palm hit the mattress, her eyes flew open in reaction to the pain that radiated from her wound.

"Crap! Sorry Toni, I didn't mean to disturb you," Sam apologized from the spot where he was now kneeling beside the bed.

Toni used her right hand to pull herself to the edge of the mattress to kiss Sam a couple of times. "You are never a sore or unwelcome sight to wake up to Sam… I guess I slept through dinner, huh? But here… Give me a second and I'll just move over and then you can climb on in."

Sam stood up while pulling the zipper closed on his jacket, but Toni spoke before he was able to explain as she asked, "It's morning?"

She was now seated on the edge of the bed when Sam pulled out a note and handed it to her. "Yeah it is. I was going to let you sleep a little bit longer and leave you this to…"

Toni had plucked the note out of Sam's hand the instant she saw it and had finished reading his message before he completed his explanation. When she started laughing, Sam trailed off to join in with her.

"Yeah, maybe I will tackle organizing Bobby's study…" She snickered at his blatant play on their earlier joking and then lowered the paper and looked up at him then very somberly asked, "So how long will you guys be gone? And…? Umm… Is Bobby…? You know, alright with you all leaving me here? Alone? In his home?"

"I don't really know how long it will take, but I'll call when we know more, alright?" Toni nodded mutely in understanding with an almost sad smile. Sam caressed her cheek lovingly then placed a tender kiss on her lips. "And I think that Bobby would be offended if you went anywhere else to heal."

Toni tried to speak, but Sam placed his other hand on her cheek to hold her attention to explain before she could utter a word, "Dean vouched for you… I trust you, so that's good enough for Bobby. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to… So stay… Rest… Research… Whatever… Just… Just don't take off on me right away, okay?"

"Okay… Okay… I guess I could triple check to make sure we didn't miss anything in all of those dusty old books of Bobby's down in the study while you guys are off wherever you're going."

Sam placed a determined kiss on her lips then replied, "That sounds good to me."

He straightened up to pick up his bag and turned to leave saying, "I'll call you when we get there… Hopefully we'll have a time line then."

Toni walked over to him and helped to slip the handle of his duffle bag onto his shoulder. Sam looked down at her looking like he was confused by her behavior so she just shrugged as she said, "Can't I come down and say goodbye to the other guys? Plus I did sleep all night, so I might as well start the day, right?"

Sam simply moved his bag onto his right shoulder so that he could wrap his left arm around Toni's shoulders as his response. She rested her head against his chest then tired her best to keep up with his long strides as they moved down the hall. They detached themselves from each other at the stairs and then Toni took Sam by the hand so it would be easier for her to walk at her own pace.

She hadn't noticed that she was only dressed in her sleep wear that consisted of a form fitting tank top that exposed a large portion of her tone tummy and sleep short shorts until she and Sam reached the front door. In an effort to cover up, she pressed her damaged arm closer to her body which caused the cloth of the sling to cover her body more fully. Then she released Sam's hand and tugged on the hem of her shorts before absentmindedly picking at the tape and gauze covering the wound on her thigh.

Sam kissed her temple then quietly said, "We'll talk soon."

He left her at the top of the stairs to join Bobby and Dean at the Impala, but unbeknownst to both of them, Bobby was still in the house finalizing a few details before their travels. The eldest hunter stepped up behind Toni and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder while they both watched the Winchester brothers finish loading the car.

"It's just an info run Toni… Nothing to be worried about."

She scoffed softly then said to herself, "Famous last words."

Bobby wanted to pretend that he hadn't heard her, but from what he had learned about their new addition, he knew that that wouldn't help much. So Bobby gripped her shoulder tightly and turned her to face him square on.

"Toni, we'll be fine, I promise. Now… You go make yourself and home and please… At least ice up your arm and leg after your runs, okay?"

Toni stared at him in stunned silence because she couldn't believe that he would know her well enough already to know that that was her exact train of thought. She then smiled and sheepishly replied, "Yes sir, I will… I promise… Good luck."

Bobby squeezed both of her shoulders and gave her a knowing smile before heading down the stairs to meet the boys at the car. Sam motioned for Bobby to take the front passenger seat then paused to share a wave and a kind smile with Toni before slipping into the back seat.

After the Impala started moving, Toni turned back to the door and reentered the house. With every step that she took, she noticed that her leg was hurting less and less, so she quit favoring as much as she had been before while she walked into the kitchen so that she could find something to eat.

"Holy shit!" She whispered to herself when she found a full banquet on the kitchen table waiting for her. As she picked up the plate of cooked bacon, Toni nibbled on a strip as she looked over to the nearest bookshelf and gave Bobby's study another thought-filled look.

 _Well maybe I won't redo the WHOLE study,_ she thought to herself with an almost embarrassed laugh. _But it couldn't hurt if I made sure that all of Bobby's books actually fit on the shelves properly._

When Toni woke up with drool dripping down the crease of her elbow, she wiped it away and looked around the room then cursed herself for falling asleep on the couch. As she triple checked where she was, she couldn't help but smile to herself when she saw the one and only bookcase that was now neatly arranged and organized. It had been easier than she had originally thought it would be to complete that job because there were only a few books that she needed to re-read and she had no distractions from her task.

As she stretched, Toni stole a peek out of the window and decided that it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world for her to venture out into the scrap yard for a bit of a walk about. As soon as she hit the gravel of the yard outside, she took in a deep breath and sighed happily. It wasn't until that moment that she realized that she missed the fresh air of the outdoors and that she had been inadvertently cooped up Bobby's house for almost a week.

As she moved through the rows of rusting vehicles, she ran her hands along their metal bodies hoping that that would help her to get lost in the scenery. Toni wasn't really someone that you could categorize as a 'car person', so she didn't immediately find any joy in being surrounded by the vintage and new-ish model vehicles that surrounded her right now. Not that she was completely clueless, she could check the oil of her truck or change a flat tire if she had to, but every time her brothers forced her to go to a car show, she couldn't help but feel anything but bored. That being said, she did feel an emotional attachment to her pickup truck, but that really didn't have anything to do with the truck by itself.

_**The week before Toni's eighteenth birthday, Toni's eldest brother, Alex, forced her to go out with him to help him pick out a new pickup truck. He maintained that he was in desperate need of her help so that he would be assured to pick something out that would appeal to the ladies, but Toni knew better; she had seen the empty boxes piled up in the garage. That meant that they would be moving soon. But Alex was trying his best to make things less boring for Toni, so she tried to keep from complaining too much.** _

_**Her resolve only broke slightly when the car salesman mistook her for Alex's girlfriend. Since her brother was ten years her senior, she felt grossly offended at first, but then she realized that maybe that meant that she could pass for being older and filed that in the back of her mind for possible pub use. Alex seemed to be pleased by this misunderstanding, so Toni made sure not to say anything. It turned out that the salesman was more that excited by the thought of selling the truck that Alex coveted to a couple starting their new life together and Alex then parléd that into a sizeable discount off the final price of his dream vehicle.** _

" _ **Toni! That was awesome! Thanks for playing along Chiclet!" Alex exclaimed as he drove her home in the hand-me-down pick up that would now soon be hers. "He's even thrown in the undercoating for free."**_

_**Toni turned her face slowly from the passenger window and gave brother a sad smile as her only response.** _

" _ **Chiclet? What's wrong?"**_

" _ **Mom and Dad asked you to get me out of the house so they could start packing, right?" She asked the windshield as she crossed her arms over her chest and tried to keep her tone even.**_

" _ **Toni…"**_

" _ **Alexander Hamilton McNamara!" She interrupted authoritatively. "Don't you dare try to lie to me…" She smiled despite herself then finished less severely. "Especially since you would have never gotten your dream truck without me."**_

_**Alex pulled into a parking lot then Toni's mouth hung open in shock. "Don't worry, I brought mouthwash… The Colonel will never smell the ice cream on your breath Annie."** _

_**She playfully punched her brother in the upper arm before getting out of the truck saying, "I hate it when you and Will call me that."** _

_**The month after her eighteenth birthday, Alex stopped by for a visit but found the house completely empty. He knew that his youngest sibling had to be close to home because the truck he had turned over to her for her birthday was still in the driveway.** _

_**After checking practically every room in the house twice, Alex almost called out her name, but he thought better of it because he figured that there was no way Toni would answer him if she was actually trying to hide from everyone. As he stood at the French doors by the kitchen table, he chuckled softly to himself thinking about how ironic it was that his parents had finally been able to be placed in a house that was so luxurious that it had a yard big enough for a pool and a hot tub in a gazebo now that their last child would be moving out. After his quick thought, he went deathly quiet and barely moved so that he could try to pick her out among all of the other sounds of the night in order to try to find his sister.** _

_**It was the start of the weekend, so there wasn't a shortage of music, car mufflers and various other noises associated with celebration. After a few minutes he was starting to think that his instincts were wrong and that maybe his sister was actually out with friends, but then he heard it… Off in the distance, just barely audible with the busy night air over it, he heard a soft sniffle followed by a sob. The back yard was completely dark so he couldn't see her in the distance, but Alex figured that there was only one place that Toni would hide right now.** _

_**When he got to the gazebo, he found her curled up into a ball in the far corner on a bench seat, crying softly against her arms. He slid in behind her silently and she jumped slightly when he started to wrap an arm around her, but she didn't hesitate to cuddle into his side as she continued to cry into his chest.** _

" _ **Hey… Shh… What's going on Chiclet? What happened?" Alex asked as he petted Toni's hair down the length of her back.**_

_**Toni was somewhat hard to understand because her speech was choppy due to her sobbing as she tried to explain, "Kyle… He… He… Broke up… With me… He… He told me… He… He's g-g-going off to school s-s-so… So there was no p-p-point st-st-staying… T-t-together until the end of th-th-the year… And… And…"** _

" _ **And what?" He asked softly trying to keep her talking so they could work through whatever this latest tragedy in her teen life.**_

" _ **And… He… He… C-c-called me… A… A l-l-l-lousy… L-lousy lay," she finally answered before breaking down into a loud, shuddering sob.**_

_**Alex continued to hold Toni in a loving hug, but was too stunned to speak after his sister's confession. Toni's tears started to subside so she tried to take in a few deep breaths, but that was still too difficult for her to accomplish. She had had the presence of mind to bring out a box of tissues with her, so Alex plucked out a couple and pushed her out of his embrace to dry her tears and get her to blow her nose.** _

" _ **Toni…? Did I…? Did I hear you right? Kyle called…? Umm… He called you… Uhh… That?" Alex asked hesitantly and sounding uncharacteristically embarrassed.**_

" _ **Yeah… Yeah, he did," she nearly whispered in reply.**_

" _ **Okay… Well… Umm… When it's your first time…" He tried to explain as comfortingly as possible. "It's usually… Umm… You know… Awkward…"**_

_**Toni's lip stated to quiver uncontrollably as she shook her head. "Umm… Alex? It… It wasn't…"** _

_**He stared at her for a second then recovered badly exclaiming, "Oh! Well… Uhh…"** _

_**Toni started crying again then quietly said, "That's why… Because he found out he wasn't… So… He… he called me a slut and said that I wasn't even that good and told me never to talk to him again."** _

" _ **Well he's an idiot," Alex replied with the utmost confidence as he pulled her close to him. "And he doesn't deserve you Annie."**_

_**Toni slapped Alex's chest as hard as she could before she grumbled into it, "Don't call me that."** _

_**Alex laughed softly against her hair before kissing it and then he just continued to hold her tight. Soon Toni's tears started to dry and her breathing evened out, but she let her brother continue to hold her none the less.** _

" _ **So…" She started as she pushed back off of Alex's chest. "You… You don't think that I'm a…? A…? You know…? A whore?"**_

_**As he dried her cheeks with a tissue, Alex shook his head answering, "No Chiclet, I don't… But…? He…? He didn't…? Pressure you and then throw that in your face, did he?"** _

" _ **No… He didn't… We went to Prom together and I know you're supposed to do 'it' with your date… But then when we were talking about where we were thinking about going to school in the fall, he freaked out and told me I better not follow him to Indiana…" Toni spoke rapidly while she fought back a new surge of tears then just stared at Alex as they fell silent.**_

" _ **Okay… Whoa! Indiana? I thought…"**_

" _ **It was an option," she cut in defensively while avoiding eye contact. "They offered me a partial scholarship and it would be closer to here and mom and the Colonel… But you're right… I already accepted Stanford's offer… I just told him that it had been an option that I had considered…"**_

_**Alex lifted her chin then said, "Good because I think California will be really good for you… Well a good change of scenery for you… And maybe while you'll meet some guys that will actually appreciate you for who you are."** _

" _ **Guys…? Like plural?" Toni questioned skeptically.**_

" _ **Damn straight I mean GUYS… PLURAL," Alex replied with a soft laugh. "You take your time and find that one guy that actually deserves to be given your heart. Hell he might not even be in California, so you can just have fun… But not TOO much fun since Will and I won't be around to double check on you as much as we can right now."**_

" _ **So… You mean I should like date guys? Huh… I've never… I mean I've always…"**_

" _ **I know. You've always fallen head over heels and gone steady with the first schmeeb you've met wherever we've moved," Alex teased. "But you don't have to do that Toni, you never have… You can do… I mean BE whatever you want to be. New place, new you, remember?"**_

" _ **Yeah…" She agreed slowly.**_

" _ **And no more tears for this moron, what's-his-face, alright?"**_

" _ **Alex..." Toni whined with another light slap to his chest. "Okay… New me and no more tears," she finally agreed as she took in a deep, still choppy breath.**_

" _ **Hey," her brother asserted lovingly. "You don't need a guy like that in your life." Toni nodded then tried to give him a strong smile. "So…? Where are Mom and Dad tonight?"**_

_**Toni gave her snotty nose a swipe with the back of her arm then blew it loudly into a tissue she had grabbed out of the box. "Out at some benefit to raise money for some disease."** _

_**Alex flashed her a playful grin then proposed, "So I got my new stereo system… And there's a new Sonic that opened up just off base…"** _

_**Toni hugged her midsection tightly and didn't answer him but gave him a look of uncertainty on her face, so he added with a mock annoyed tone, "Okay… Fine… I'll even buy."** _

_**Toni sniffled then hugged his neck answering sincerely, "Thanks Alex… You're the best."** _

_**He hugged her and took in a deep breath to steady himself then tried to joke his way out of this awkward (and overly sincere) moment. All that he could come up with on the spot was his old stand-by insult, but he still went with it, "Anytime Annie."** _

" _ **Alex! God! I HATE it when you call me that!" She nearly shouted as she punched him in the shoulder and made sure it was hard enough that it would leave a bruise.**_

" _ **Hey?" He countered with mock innocence. "Is it my fault you were being such a girl?"**_

_**Toni glared at him then replied, "You owe me so much more than a milkshake now… Yeah... My truck could use an oil change, you know?"** _

_**Five months after her mother's funeral, Toni had finally gotten back into some semblance of a routine at school. Her relationship with her father had become nothing but tense after her mother had passed and it only seemed to get worse the more that she tried to help him. Toni had tried to go back home for holidays and part of her summer break to spend time with her parents and her brothers, but now she was more than happy to stay at school for summer semester to make up for the time she had lost during her mourning period for her mother.** _

_**Vanessa had found them a great one bedroom with den apartment just off campus that they turned into a two bedroom for the summer, so Toni was able to feel somewhat relaxed in her new home. When she wasn't at class, Toni would rush back to the apartment to hide away from anyone that knew her pretty well because she didn't want to have to talk about what had happened because anytime she talked about her mom, all she wanted to do was breakdown and cry. That wasn't something that she could do right now because she really needed to focus on her school work. She needed to get back on track fast if she was going to accomplish her goals and realize her dream on her predetermined schedule.** _

_**When she heard a knock on the door, Toni was tempted just to ignore it because she figured that it was someone for Vanessa since she hadn't given their new address out to many people. (They were only going to be there for the summer, so she didn't really see the point.) After each knock, she sighed indignantly and silently cursed them and willed the 'intruder' to go away.** _

_**The visitor seemed to have known that there was someone in the apartment because they didn't let up. When Toni finally heard their greeting she froze completely in her place on the couch.** _

" _ **Miss McNamara! US Army! Open up!"**_

_**Toni tried to force herself off the couch, but her body and mind were completely disconnected at the moment.** _

" _ **Military Police!" He announced sounding increasingly frustrated.**_

_**Toni still couldn't move, but she did manage to hoarsely call out, "It's unlocked!"** _

_**He opened the door then entered the apartment cautiously. By the time he found Toni, she was crying silently in anticipation of the news that she was certain he was about to deliver.** _

_**The majority of the time, 'they' tried to send someone that wasn't intimately connected to the family so that they could keep the announcement from becoming overly emotional, but when he saw the name "MCNAMARA" Corporal McCord insisted on delivering the news himself.** _

_**It took a couple of minutes of awkward silence before Toni finally turned her eyes towards him. Her mouth went completely dry but she somehow managed to ask through her tears, "Darren…? Fuck… Who…? Which…?"** _

_**He sat down beside Toni and took her hands in his solemnly replying, "I'm so sorry Toni… It's Alex."** _

_**She immediately broke down into loud sobs, so he wrapped her in a hug and continued to explain, "Colonel McNamara… Uhh… Your father… He's taken care of all of the arrangements… They're going to bury him beside your mother… The… the funeral is in three days…"** _

_**Toni sat back, took in a deep breath and set her shoulders before she stood up and announced, "I need to start packing _ **…**_ Thank you for letting me know."** _

_**The Corporal remained seated on the couch and was about to offer her a few more words of condolence, but then he remembered that this was Toni McNamara that he was dealing with… If she didn't ask for his help then he was better off not pushing her into a corner by being overly protective right now because she would most likely lash out at him.** _

_**Instead he just stood up, left the telegram with an envelope on the table and slowly placed his hat on his head replying, "If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."** _

_**Toni nodded and started to turn away as he added, "Even when you get back, I'm here for you Toni."** _

_**She then turned back to him, took a couple of steps and hugged him briefly saying, "Thanks, I appreciate it Darren… But for now… I just… I need to get going."** _

_**After he left, she quickly packed bag so that she could make her trip out East. She had a few outfits at her parents'… The Colonel's house that she could wear for the funeral and burial, so she only worried about having the bare necessities and figured that she could always buy anything that she might have forgotten. In her haste to hit the road, Toni forgot to write Vanessa a note, but she had left the unopened telegram on the coffee table and then when she did realize her mistake, she made sure to call and leave her friend a voicemail with a quick explanation about her road trip.** _

_**Toni couldn't help but drive through the night to get back to her Father's house because her nervous energy wouldn't allow her to sleep. When she pulled up to the house, she wasn't the least bit surprised to see William's rental car already parked in the driveway. As she parked her truck, the realization of why she was finally reuniting with him after too many months hit her hard and she broke down into chocking sobs in the driver's seat of Alex's old truck.** _

_**Before she had a chance to calm herself down, William opened the driver's side door and pulled her into a hug. With all of the stress her body had encountered over the previous six months, Toni's weight had dropped significantly (Vanessa had pointedly commented on it more than once) so her brother was able to easily lift her slight frame out of the truck. Toni didn't speak as she wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to cry against his shoulder.** _

" _ **I know Toni… I know," he repeated with a shaky voice. "We'll unpack his _ **…**_ Your _ **…**_ The truck later."**_

_**He carried her into the living room then sat on the couch with her securely in his lap. As she cried, he pet the back of her head and whispered words of comfort into her ear the best that he could when all he wanted to do was breakdown crying just like she was right now.** _

" _ **How?" She finally whispered as she sat back to look at his face. "What happened to…?"**_

" _ **Chiclet, he was in Afghanistan… There's a lot of people there that don't like or want our help," he explained as he wiped away some of the moisture on her cheeks with his palms. "But we can get into all of the details later, okay?"**_

_**She nodded then tucked her head under her brother's chin. As she hugged him tightly she quietly said, "I've missed you so much Will."** _

_**He matched the intensity of Toni's embrace as he replied, "Me too Chiclet, me too."** _

_**They sat there just holding each other in silence until Toni quietly asked, "So what happens now?"** _

_**Will kissed her head then explained, "Same as with Mom… But I think it'll be a bit smaller scale this time." Toni nodded against his chest, but didn't release him from her tight grip in anyway. "Plus…" He added somewhat playfully.** _

_**Toni finally sat back and threw him a confused look. "Plus I put a bottle of scotch in the freezer when I got here…"** _

_**She smiled sadly in response and then molded herself against his chest again saying, "Thanks Will, but that can wait. Right now I just want to make sure that you're here with me."** _

_**Will inhaled sharply as tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. "I'm here Toni, I'm here," he finally answered with an undeniable hitch in his voice.** _

_**Just as Will had promised her, everything for Alex's memorial ran along the same lines as their Mother's ceremonies. Toni was able to make it through all of it because it felt familiar. Plus she had her brother, William, there with her. Any time she felt like she might falter, he was suddenly standing there beside her. She even cracked a smile when she noticed that he wasn't just offering her his moral support, William was also making sure that her glass was never empty as she sipped her whiskey.** _

_**Once the last well-wisher had left, Will joined Toni on the couch in the house's living room. She leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her to keep her close.** _

" _ **Almost done Chiclet," he whispered before kissing her temple as their father entered the room.**_

" _ **No Mister Benton, I think that all of us are ever to get this finished as soon as possible," the Colonel explained as he entered the room with another man.**_

_**Toni quickly moved away from her brother so that their father wouldn't yell at them for being too soft right now. As the Colonel focused on pouring himself another drink he explained to them, "This is Mister Benton, I'm sure that you two remember him. He's going to go over Alexander's Last Will and Testament with us."** _

_**William overheard his sister's tiny sob, so he quickly asked a question to cover for her crying, "Sir? Do we have to go over it right now? I mean… We've all had a really long day and all."** _

_**The Colonel drained his drink and was pouring another as he tersely answered, "Maybe we all have, but Mister Benton is a very busy man and he's here now… So maybe the rest of us can think about someone other than ourselves right now?"** _

_**William was going to continue to argue, but Toni stopped him by squeezing his hand tightly before she conceded saying, "You're right Colonel. And thank you Mister Benton for taking time out of your day to explain it all to us. We do appreciate it Sir."** _

_**The lawyer looked between the three of them uncomfortably then smiled at the youngest of the McNamara Clan when he saw that she was trying her best to put on a brave face and smile for him.** _

" _ **I'm more than happy to do it," he finally replied as he took a seat in front of the two grieving siblings where they sat on the couch.**_

" _ **Dad…? Sir…? Are you sure we shouldn't have her stay here with you…? Us…? Even for a little bit longer?" William asked quietly as he watched Toni empty everything out of her old truck so that she could put it into the pickup that their eldest brother had willed to her.**_

_**The Colonel cracked open a new bottle of vodka and slurred out his unimpressed reply, "Why? Why should she stay? You've already got her truck sold… Why else should she stay here?"** _

_**William stared at him in stunned disbelief, but he kept his further commentary to himself. He then turned on his heels and hurried outside to catch Toni at the front door while she was carrying what should be the last load out to her new truck. Once that load was secure in the back of the cab, she turned back to the house and frowned sadly at her brother.** _

" _ **You drive safe, okay Chiclet?" He stated against her forehead while he gave her one more lingering hug.**_

_**She nodded then looked up to his face saying, "I always do. You be safe too up in the Pacific Northwest Will."** _

" _ **Just try and stop me," he teased with a wink.**_

Toni was searching through the fridge when her phone started ringing. She actually smiled to herself when she realized that she could run to grab it without wanting or needing to curl into the fetal position from the pain that she would have felt only a few short days ago.

"Hey Sam!" She answered enthusiastically. "Did you guys find something?"

Sam chuckled softly before answering, _"Yeah we did… And we're on our way back right now, so you can put away the research on the Phoenix, alright? But keep looking into Purgatory."_

"Really?" She questioned while looking at the notebook she had been filling with information about the creature that more resembled the dragons Sam and Dean had fought than the mythical bird she had heard about for years. "Okay… Yeah, I guess I can focus on Purgatory again."


	24. Treading Water From Your Shore

Sam had called Toni to let her know that they were on their way back to Bobby's but that they had to make an unexpected pit stop when a fan belt blew on the Impala, so they were going to have to spend the night somewhere on their way back. Toni took the extra time their detour afforded her to try to finish putting Bobby's house into some sort of domestic order to make their living situation as comfortable as possible since it seemed like this would be their home base for a while. When the guys returned she was still out grocery shopping, but she had left them a note as well as sent a follow up text to Sam so the men all continued finalizing their plans to travel to Wyoming without giving Toni's whereabouts a second thought.

When Toni got back to Bobby's house, she loaded herself up with all of the plastic grocery bags then lugged them towards the back door hoping to unload the car in one slightly painful trip. She had seen Dean's car parked out front, so she had planned on teasing Sam for leaving her to do all of the heavy lifting all on her own during her 'fragile state', but then she heard all of them debating something in the study, so she forced herself to slip back into work mode quickly without saying a word.

By the time she had all of the bags set down on the counter, she heard Sam snappishly saying, "You have a fetish."

"Shut up. I like old movies," Dean replied defensively.

"You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made, line by line," Sam countered sounding completely exasperated.

"Even the monkey movies?" Bobby questioned while nodding a quick hello to Toni when she stepped into the room.

Sam didn't hide his brotherly disgust as he answered, "Yeah… Especially the monkey movies."

"His name is Clyde," Dean clarified somewhat crossly because he couldn't believe that he had to defend liking such an American classic before he thrusted out a paper bag at his brother trying to offer a compromise to his brother for not wearing the full outfit saying, "At least wear the damn shirt."

Sam shoved the bag back at his brother irritably replying, "No! You're unbelievable Dean! You used to always say that I was ridiculous for wanting to wear 'costumes' on jobs, so if you want to play dress up, then fine, go right on ahead! But you're doing it by yourself."

Toni watched their back and forth and couldn't hold back a snicker when she heard how childish they sounded right now. Sam maintained his serious scowl, but both Bobby and Dean smiled softly along with her which just further frustrated the youngest Winchester. Dean rocked on the balls of his feet and bumped his shoulder against Toni's to greet her with a mischievous grin on his face while the angel in the room watch the scene playing out in front of him with a mildly annoyed frown on his face. He looked a lot like an annoyed father who was watching his children bicker, but Castiel remained silent and let the humans resolve their differences without his input.

"Help me out here Toni," Dean started somewhat playfully as he awkwardly wrapped an arm around her shoulder even though he was still holding two large bags in his left hand.

Toni looked down at the bags to her left skeptically then looked over at Dean's beaming face. She allowed herself to relax a little bit and tried to play along with him the best that she could by light-heartedly asking, "Sure… What can I do to be of assistance to you Dean?"

"Well… Could you help me by using that bewitching charm of yours and get your boyfriend over there to at least wear the shirt that I bought him so we can try to blend in," Dean questioned staring at his brother with a teasing smirk as he released Toni from his hold.

Dean chuckled while Bobby shook his head at the continuing idiocy he was witnessing, but Sam immediately caught the chagrinned look on Toni's face. As all of the color drained from Toni's complexion, Sam quickly snatched the bag from his brother's hand tersely saying, "Fine! I'll wear the fucking shirt."

Sam then grabbed Toni's arm more roughly than he meant to and led her into the kitchen while Dean hurried upstairs to get changed, still visibly reveling in his victory. She remained completely silent and allowed herself to be escorted to wherever Sam wanted to take her without complaint, which caused Sam to be even more concerned. Toni was fiercely independent and never shied away from speaking her mind when she was annoyed or had a strong opinion about something, so Sam had learned long ago that he should be more weary of a deathly quiet Toni than one that was yelling at you because that meant that she was harboring deep set, intense resentment that you could be seriously injured for later.

In an effort to diffuse what he thought was a ticking Toni bomb that was ready to go off at any given moment, Sam offered in a hushed tone, "Sorry about Dean… I… I don't know why he said… Called me that… I'll… I'll have a talk with him about that… I'll try… I'll make sure that I keep it from happening again."

Sam stood in his place just out of her reach, gripping the paper bag in his hand so tightly that it was almost tearing under his white knuckles as Toni finally turned her eyes up to look at him. When she saw that he was pointedly not making eye contact with her, she figured that he hadn't attempted to catch her eyes at all while he was making his mini speech and her heart sank completely. Once again she felt somewhat ashamed that her actions in the past had caused Sam to have so many doubts about their relationship right now. She still wasn't ready for a relationship with him in the conventional sense, but she had hoped that she had at some point since their reconciliation been able to prove that he was an essential character in the story of her life, if not being one of two of the most important people on the planet to her. But seeing his reaction to the whole situation right now told her that she hadn't been able to make that clear to him and that she should remedy this situation as soon as possible.

"Anyways… Sorry," Sam added when she remained silent as he somewhat hesitantly started to leave the room.

Toni quickly grabbed Sam's forearm to stop him and had to center herself before speaking because she noticed once again that Sam wouldn't look her in the eye. His gaze remained fixated on her fingers that were wrapped around his arm.

"Sam… You… You don't have to do that," she finally replied causing his eyes to shoot up to her face. "You don't have to talk to Dean about what he said… And you really don't apologize for it either because it's me that should be apologizing to you… I can't even imagine what my face must have looked like back there."

Sam turned fully around and finally made tentative eye contact with Toni, so she continued with the same apologetic tone, "When Dean called you my… Well that… I sort of thought that you two had talked about everything going on between you and me and about your feelings about our… Uhh… Relationship… And I kind of thought that maybe your feelings had changed since Portland and… Well… I got to thinking that it wouldn't be fair for me to expect you to keep things how they are if it isn't… If you aren't still happy with the arrangement, you know?"

"Toni…?" Sam questioned in genuine confusion. "Are you saying that you would…? You're willing…?"

"What I'm saying Sam is that when you get back from the past…" She paused briefly to chuckle at how ridiculous that sounded right now. "When you get back, we should maybe talk, alright? That is, if you wanted to and all."

Sam nodded with a warm smile and then leaned over and kissed her softly in response. Before he could straighten up completely, Toni pulled the bag out of his now slackened grip to check out the clothing that Dean had bought for Sam. She put the bag down on the kitchen table to sift through the contents and then she pulled out a white shirt with golden yellow embroidery on its shoulders.

When she turned to face Sam again, she was biting her lip so hard to keep from laughing out loud that it was turning white and nearly bleeding. Sam quickly grabbed the shirt out of her hand then snatched up the bag and stomped out of the room grumbling to himself that she was almost as childish as Dean sometimes.

Toni finally did chuckle aloud when Sam turned his back on her then she shouted with mock support, "Oh come on Sam! I'm sure you'll look cute in it!"

Once she was alone in the room again, she completely sobered up as she reflected on everything that she had said to Sam. Toni had never been at a loss to find companionship over the years when she wanted it, but true intimacy was something that she had never allowed herself to earnestly explore. She knew that she had the whole being physically compatible with guys down, but she was also acutely aware that for her to achieve true intimacy with someone that she would have to be able to open up to them about her feelings and emotions. The latter was neither her forte nor anywhere within her comfort zone, but she started feeling a change of heart within herself after she and her dad had explored the emotional side of their relationship and since it had positive results, she hope to have a chance to see if that could carry over into her relationship with the other man that she considered to be of the utmost importance to her. That was if he would allow her to open up to him… Or if he actually wanted their relationship to change in any way.

Toni lingered in the kitchen while Bobby narrated to Castiel everything that he thought that they would have to get done in order to prepare Sam and Dean for their journey, completely lost in her own thoughts.

_**She had been ready for about half an hour now, but Toni still had another twenty minutes before she had to leave to meet Sam on time, so she sat down on her bed to try to read and pass the time. After flipping through the pages for a while without actually registering anything that was written on the pages, Toni closed the book and shoved it aside. She then checked the time and groaned when she saw that only five minutes had passed since she last checked the clock.** _

_**After laying back on her bed, Toni closed her eyes while admonishing herself out loud, "It's just opening night for Vanessa's play with Sam… What the hell is wrong with you Toni? Calm the fuck down."** _

_**She stayed as she was on her bed with her closed eyes covered with her right forearm taking in slow, deliberate breaths willing her heartbeat to slow down until she heard a loud knock at the door. She sat up straight, grabbed her alarm clock on her night stand to check the time and when she saw that she still had a good ten minutes before she had to leave for her meeting with her 'non-date', she jumped off her bed and triple checked her reflection thinking that it was Sam picking her up early at her dorm so that they could walk together to the theater.** _

_**Before opening the door, she quickly snatched up her keys, wallet and jacket and then yet again checked the mirror to make sure that she hadn't messed up her makeup. It had been hard enough following Vanessa's instructions once, she wasn't sure she was confident enough to retouch the masterpiece she had finally created. Once she was sure that she had everything and that she still looked good enough to be seen in public, she took in a long, deep breath while holding onto the door handle.** _

" _ **Hey…" She greeted her visitor as jovially as she could despite the butterflies in her stomach as she opened the door.**_

" _ **Oh! Hey Toni! I was starting to think that you were out for the night," he replied as he turned back around to face her.**_

_**Toni didn't have a chance to reply before Kory quickly added, "And you look gorgeous! Which is perfect… I was hoping you would be up for celebrating with me."** _

" _ **Cele…" Toni finally mumbled as she self-consciously looked down at the floral print summer dress that she was wearing. (Vanessa had insisted that Toni borrow it to wear so that Toni would be certain to more than impress her cast-mates on Opening Night.) Her curiosity soon over-rode any other emotion that she was feeling right now, so she meekly asked, "What…? What are you celebrating Kory?"**_

_**He took a step forward, but when Toni didn't make a move to invite him into her room, he just took her free hand and swung it back and forth as he explained, "I got into my graduate program! Looks like you'll be stuck with me a couple more years."** _

" _ **Oh! That's… That's… Uhh really… Really great news Kory. Congratulations," she managed to say with some measure of enthusiasm as she gently freed her hand from his grasp.**_

" _ **Exactly! So come… Come celebrate with me!" Kory instructed her playfully as he once again took her free hand in his and gently tugged her arm.**_

_**Toni looked up to object and caught Sam's eye as he approached her dorm room. "Actually… Kory… I… Uhh… Kind of… Umm…" She quietly explained as she pulled her hand out of his grasp a little more forcefully. "I… Already made plans for tonight."** _

_**Kory stole a glance over his shoulder at the man that was approaching then nodded saying, "I should have known… You look way too beautiful to have just been staying home alone tonight."** _

" _ **Kory…" Toni implored quietly, not wanting him to start anything with Sam right now.**_

" _ **Hey… Hey, I get it." He dipped down and pecked her cheek with a quick, "Rain check?"**_

" _ **Sure… Yeah… We'll talk… Uhh… Congrats… Again and all…"**_

_**He smiled then made a somewhat hasty retreat past Sam who was asking a hundred questions with the look on his face, but he still asked aloud, "Am I keeping you from something?"** _

_**Toni locked her door then slipped on her lightweight trench coat (with Sam's aid) saying, "No Sam, when he knocked at the door, I thought he was you… He was just… He's excited because he made it into his Grad Program after applying for like two years now… Please, don't make a big thing of it okay? Tonight's supposed to be fun… And it's Vanessa's big night."** _

" _ **Yeah… Sure… Fine… Whatever," he replied somewhat dejectedly as he took her hand once they fell into step together. "So… What's this play about again?"**_

_**After the performance there was a get together for the cast's friends and family that Toni had promised she would attend (with a date was Vanessa's stipulation so Toni broke down and asked Sam on the closest thing to an actual date that they'd ever had). After she had scoped out the room, Toni looked down at her outfit and sighed audibly because Vanessa had made sure that her roommate would blend in perfectly with this crowd by lending Toni this dress. Growing up with two older brothers had turned Toni into a complete Tomboy and it never ceased to amaze her how easily Vanessa could transform her into looking like a true 'California Girl' to help Toni feel at home while at school.** _

" _ **Cocktail?" A well-dressed man a few years older than Sam and Toni offered. As they both took a glass of champagne he asked, "So which one is yours?"**_

_**Toni choked slightly on her beverage as she laughed then answered, "I'm roommates with Vanessa."** _

" _ **Ooh the lead… Ouch that has got to be tough on you," he offered with exaggerated sympathy.**_

" _ **Well actually…" Toni tried to correct him before being interrupted by Vanessa joining them with a cheerful, "Brant! You found them!"**_

_**Brant passed Vanessa a drink and wrapped an arm around her waist answering, "Sure did and Toni here was just tell me and her boyfriend about all of the horrors of living with a diva who nailed her lead role on stage."** _

_**Completely chagrinned, Toni jumped in saying, "Oh, no, no he's…"** _

" _ **I'm not her boyfriend," Sam finished for her.**_

_**Vanessa stepped out of Brant's embrace to put an arm around Toni's shoulders playfully admonishing her new beau saying, "Brant I told you all about our Toni, remember? She's our free spirit… And we love her for it."** _

" _ **Oh that's right," he replied. "I almost forgot."**_

_**Vanessa looked towards Sam then asked, "But that being said, Sam can I steal her away from being your arm candy for a little bit? I promise we won't be long."** _

_**Sam nodded answering, "Sure. I'll go see if I can get us something to eat… Meet you by the appetizers?"** _

_**As Vanessa led her away, Toni looked over her shoulder at Sam who just continued chatting with Brant while thinking to herself what she hadn't been able to complete out loud,** _ **Oh, no, no he's just joking Vee… I swear I didn't say anything bad about you.**

Bobby was walking through the kitchen with a duffle bag when he caught Toni during her daydream. He gently squeezed her forearm as he quietly asked, "You doing okay Toni?"

After Bobby squeezed her flesh a few more times, Toni finally focused on the older man. She smiled as easily as she could right now saying, "The 1860s? You gotta have one hell of a travel again to swing that kind of a trip, right?"

Bobby chuckled then as they re-entered the study Toni's eyes locked with Castiel's and he replied, "I'm not a travel agent, but I promise that I'll do my best to ensure their safe travel."

"Oh… God… I mean… Uhh… Shit… Sorry… I didn't mean…" Toni stammered as she tried to find a way to apologize to the angel for cursing in front of him.

She saw a bright sparkle in Castiel's eye and the barest hint of a smile tugging at his lips so she breathed a small sigh of relief. He held her in a comfortable stare, so she relaxed a bit more and even gave him a grateful grin.

"Alright, so I think I have everything," Bobby commented mostly to himself as he dropped a couple more gold necklaces into a duffle bag that he had placed on his desk.

Toni remained transfixed by the angel's ice blue eyes until she heard Sam walk into the room saying, "Dean this is stupid, I look stupid."

The three of them turned to look at the brothers as Bobby joked dryly, "You going to a hoedown?"

Toni stepped over beside Sam and took his hand to get him to lean down so she could whisper an encouraging, "You don't look as bad as you think."

Sam gave her a 'come on I know you're lying' look, so she tried again saying, "Okay, maybe you have a point, but confidence Sammy. If you believe it, they'll believe it… Just pretend you still look hot."

"Where you're going they don't take plastic," Bobby was explaining to Dean when Toni and Sam started to focus their attention back on the group.

Toni and Sam noticed Dean was inspecting a variety of gold jewelry so Toni got an idea. She dropped Sam's hand to his side and quickly moved to her messenger style bag on the couch to retrieve a small black box with gold accents.

She pressed it into Sam's palm offering, "Here, take… Uhh these… They might help too."

Sam looked down at the box then up to Toni's face. When he saw tears glistening in her eyes, he knew that whatever was in the box must have meant something special to her, so he placed it back in her hand saying, "That's okay, it looks like Bobby has that more than covered… But thank you Toni."

She slipped the box into her pocket then gave Sam a hug saying, "Be safe. I'll see you when you get back."

After she took a step away from Sam, everyone stood in their places for a second in an awkward silence while they each internally reflected on what would be happening next until Toni hugged Dean as well. She whispered something to him as well then she turned and retreated to the kitchen, Dean had a stunned look on his face until he shook his head in an effort to erase her words away like a child clearing their creation off of an Etch A Sketch.

Castiel recovered first explaining, "I'll send you back to March 4th. That should give you time to find the Colt… And this Phoenix creature."

"All right," Dean replied in his signature self-assured tone. "Well… See you at high noon tomorrow."

After Castiel had sent Sam and Dean to their designated time in American history, he left to take care of some of his business in Heaven. Bobby set a countdown clock and placed it on his desk then just took a moment to try to absorb everything that was happening. Even though he might have been feeling somewhat overwhelmed, he knew that he couldn't be or show any weakness right now.

Toni hadn't made it back to the study, so Bobby wandered into the kitchen to see what she might be working on. She was standing at the counter beside the sink and he could hear her sniffling softly, so he tried to approach her cautiously while keeping everything Sam had told him about her in mind so that he wouldn't spook her.

"Hey… Toni…? You okay?" He asked while he was still a few feet away from her.

She turned to face him, eyes red and swollen with tears sliding down her cheeks. She quickly swiped the back of her left forearm under her nose then she motioned to the counter with the knife in her right hand saying, "I was thinking of making meatloaf for an early dinner." She sniffled in a deep breath loudly then laughed a little when she saw the concern in the hunter's eyes and explained, "I thought that these were Walla Walla sweets… They don't make you cry… Obviously the sticker lied."

Bobby couldn't have hidden his relieved grin even if he tried as he answered, "Meatloaf sounds great… It's one of my favorites… I can't remember the last time someone cooked that for me."

Toni had finished chopping the onions and was washing her hands as she said, "Shit, it's your favorite? Well no promises for how good it'll taste… Dad and I have only made it once together, so I hope I don't screw it up."

Bobby was more than aware that Toni was baiting him to try to get him to feed into her misguided insecurities and he absolutely refused to do that, so he changed the subject saying, "You sure did have Dean rattled there for a bit… Mind me asking what you said to him?"

Without skipping a beat, Toni continued working on the loaf, placed it into the oven and as she wiped her hands on a tea towel she very calmly and plainly answered, "I told him that if he didn't bring Sam back alive that I would hunt his sorry ass down and rip his heart out with my bare hands." Her statement had the same effect on Bobby, but she didn't pay that any mind before she asked, "Now… Mashed potatoes? Would that be too heavy to go with meat loaf?"

Still stunned at how serious Toni had sounded, Bobby swallowed a couple of times before he could hoarsely answer, "No… No they sound like they would go good together. Can I help you with anything?"

After eating, Toni and Bobby went back to researching while they waited for the hours to pass, but Toni found it hard to concentrate because she was worrying so much about how Sam and Dean were doing with their mission. They had no guarantees that the guys had even landed on the date that Castiel said that he was sending them to, let alone if they had made it there alive. Bobby caught her checking the countdown timer more than once, but he just left her to her thoughts because he also noticed that her gaze didn't linger for too long.

When he finally did catch her staring at his desk intensely for an uncomfortably long time, Bobby picked up the timer, turned it away from her an then set it down on the opposite side of the desk so that she wouldn't be able to see it anymore. Toni blushed slightly and slowly raised her eyes to Bobby's face as he smiled and said, "No use fretting about the time 'cause it ain't gonna make it move any faster."

Toni's cheeks were burning hot now after getting caught, but Bobby was giving her such a comforting smile that she realized that she really didn't have anything to be embarrassed about because it appeared that he was feeling the same way. She smiled sheepishly then went back to trying to read through the piles of books that Bobby had separated from the rest of his collection. She could feel Bobby watching her, so she turned her eyes up to him to check and then gave him another bright smile in the hopes that she could ease his mind like he had tried to ease hers. After a couple of seconds he looked back down at the book in front of him and Toni couldn't help but wish that she could read his mind right now.

The third book in her pile didn't tell Toni anything that she didn't already know about Purgatory, which was starting to frustrate her to the point that she wanted to tear her hair out or punch somebody. "Damn it… This is getting beyond ridiculous," she announced to no one in particular before focusing her commentary to Bobby, "I think I need to clear my head… I feel like I'm going crazy."

Bobby nodded as he watched her re-stack the books on the couch before standing up as she continued to explain, "I think I'm gonna head out for a run… I'll be back in about an hour, if that's okay with you."

"Take your time Toni, take your time," Bobby replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.

After sprinting upstairs to change into her workout gear, Toni popped her head into the study to say a quick "See you later". Once Bobby heard the front door click closed, he heaved a loud sigh of relief at having the house to himself, even if it was only going to be for an hour or so. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Toni's help, but he could see how much it was bothering her not to know that Sam was okay and he didn't quite know how to get that sad look out of her eye especially when he knew that his eyes were telling her the same thing. He couldn't resist one last check of the countdown clock before opening up a new book to see what he could find out about the Mother of All and from where she had escaped.

As soon as Toni's feet hit the asphalt, she was completely lost in the sounds piping through her headphones and let her feet fall into step with the beat.

_**Toni had planned on going to the Frat party that night (she'd even picked out a cute outfit that was still hanging in her closet), but then an idea popped into her head for her assignment and once she started writing she found that she couldn't bring herself to stop until it was finished. Since everything was just flowing together, she decided not to fight it and got comfortable with the thought of staying in for the night. Plus she figured that Vanessa wouldn't get on her too much for not going to the party if her excuse was that she was getting her homework done as opposed to her more usual excuse that Sam might possibly be there and that could make being there uncomfortable for all of them.** _

_**She was so in the zone that she hadn't even had a chance to notice the time or her hunger pains until her phone rang and brought her out of her trance. At first she thought that it might have been Vanessa trying to convince her to come out, but as soon as she saw the name on the Caller ID she sat up so quickly that all of her text books fell to the floor.** _

_**Without giving them a second look, Toni snatched up her phone so fast that she almost ripped her phone's charger cord in two.** _

" _ **WILL!" She shouted inadvertently from her excitement.**_

_**He laughed heartily as he answered,** _ **"Well damn Chiclet, a guy couldn't ask for a better greeting. Dare I ask how you are doing?"**

_**Toni issued a small embarrassed chuckle before saying repentantly, "Sorry… Didn't mean to blow an eardrum, but it's been months since we've actually caught each other… I hate playing telephone tag with you."** _

" **I know me too,"** _ **he replied taking any hint of good natured mockery out of his tone.**_ **"So, what am I keeping you from this fine Saturday night?"**

_**Toni relaxed onto her bed, sitting cross-legged in anticipation of chatting with her brother for long enough that it would completely drain her cell phone battery. "I was going to go to a party, but then I started writing and lost track of time so you aren't interrupting anything really… It isn't due until next week."** _

" **So you're home…? Alone…? Doing class work…? That isn't even due on Monday…? On a Saturday night? Did I hear that right?"** _ **Will retorted with the sound of utmost brotherly taunting back in his voice.**_ **"You are such a nerd Annie!"**

" _ **Shut up Will! You know I hate it when you call me that! So don't you dare get it in your head that I won't hang up on you and then let all of your calls go to voice mail from here on out if you keep that up!"**_

" **Oh Chiclet,"** _ **he pleaded sweetly.**_ **"You wouldn't do that to me, would you? Not your favorite big brother…? Would you?"**

_**Even though it had been over a year since they had buried their eldest brother, Toni still got a little choked up thinking about why William was her only living sibling. He had never expected her to mask her feelings, but Toni still did most of the time and he expected that she would do the same now and just continue with the sarcastic back and forth.** _

_**Tonight though, she let her brother hear every emotion that she was feeling as she tearfully replied, "No Will, you're right… I wouldn't ever do that to you."** _

_**Will heard the pure sorrow in her voice and felt tears well up in his eyes, so he tried to quickly change the subject because he didn't want to upset his sister any more than he unintentionally had already.** _ **"So… Chiclet, you know that Thanksgiving's coming up and all… Umm… Were you planning on heading home for the holidays?"**

" _ **No Will, I… I wasn't planning on visiting the Colonel at all," she explained sounding somewhat ashamed that she didn't want to see their father. "The last time I went to stay with him it wasn't… We didn't… Well… I don't think it would be a good idea for me to head over there."**_

" **Right… Right… But I heard that Paulie was happy to have the extra hand at the bar because it got so busy,"** _ **he offered in an effort to try to find a bright side like always did for his sister.**_

" _ **Yeah, that's true… And he did say that I'd be welcomed back anytime that I was in town… I guess the guys were tipping better or something."**_

" **I can't imagine why that would be…"** _ **Will started to tease playfully.**_

_**Toni's cheeks turned a bright crimson red as she interrupted him with a mortified, "WILL! Please, please don't finish that thought." They both went quiet then after she heard him chuckle softly she added, "I mean it William Walker McNamara… Just don't even go there, please? God… I'm your sister…"** _

" **Whoa! Hey… Hey now, I just heard that he service was better and all… Lloyd told me his fries were so hot he nearly burned his fingers because you were so quick… Wait? Why did you…? Is there something else that I should know about?"** _ **He asked his question sounding genuinely innocent even though they both knew that he was more than well aware of how Toni had almost become like an attraction that guys were flocking to see and were more than willing to throw their money (and more) at when eating at the bar.**_

_**Toni groaned softly then pleaded, "Will, did you just call to torment me or did you actually have something that you wanted to talk to me about?"** _

" **Toni? Chiclet? I'm sorry… Really I didn't mean to upset you,"** _ **he replied genuinely apologetic.**_ **"But yeah I did want to talk to about something… Although there's probably no point since you'll probably say 'No' just to spite me now…"**

" _ **Or maybe I've actually grown up some after living here on my own in California and I might even surprise you," Toni shot back with mild condensation.**_

" **Yeah, that could be true… You aren't my little orphan Annie anymore, are you?"**

_**Toni gritted her teeth together and as she nearly growled out her brother's name as a stern warning, he quickly added,** _ **"Okay sorry, sorry. Alright, no more teasing… Okay… So I was calling because I was wondering if you might want to spend Thanksgiving together… Well you, me and Tara too…"**

" _ **What? Really? You… You want me to come up to Everett for the holidays? Really? But I thought… Well I figured that since Tara's finally getting back from overseas and all that you'd want to be alone… Well spend some alone time with her… Are…? Are you sure?"**_

" **Toni, I wouldn't call and ask if I wasn't serious or sure that I wanted to see you,"** _ **he answered almost sadly and sounding hurt.**_ **"And Tara really wants to get to know you better too… Plus…"**

" _ **Plus what?" Toni questioned hastily, feeling very apprehensive about her brother's uncharacteristic evasiveness.**_

" **Plus… I was hoping that you would be able to help me out with something."**

_**Toni waited a moment for Will to elaborate but became very antsy during his prolonged silence so she said, "Of course Will, I'll help you out with anything that you want me to… You know that… All you ever have to do is name it."** _

_**She could hear the relieved smile on his face as he explained,** _ **"Well a buddy of mine is living in San Francisco now and he designs jewelry and…"**

_**Will stopped when he heard Toni gasp. "Oh… My… God… You're going to ask Tara to marry you?"** _

" **Yeah Toni, I am,"** _ **he answered with a dreamy sounding tone.**_

" _ **Wow… That's just… Wow… But why?" She blurted out absentmindedly.**_

" **Chiclet… Don't be like that… I know that Alex totally warped you to the idea of marriage and everything, but I love her and I want to share the rest of my life with her,"** _ **William answered with a slight hint of melancholy.**_ **"But if you don't want to… I mean, if you're not comfortable with it… Well that's okay too… No harm, no foul."**

" _ **No! No… Sorry Will. I was just a little surprised because I didn't know that you two were getting that serious… I'm really sorry… But… Well… Congratulations… Umm… What is it that I can do to help? Really, I want to help. Please Will?"**_

" **Phew… I was hoping that you'd say that. Vince told me that he'd have the rings ready soon. I kind of told him that you would pick them up and I was hoping that you could bring them up with you because to be honest… I don't really trust them coming up in the mail and all…"**

" _ **Holy shit! Really? You're trusting me with… With bringing them up? That's… That's a huge responsibility… Are you sure?" She asked feeling genuinely overwhelmed.**_

" **Of course I trust you. Who else always has my back? So… Does that mean…? You'll do it?"** _ **William questioned now wondering if his sister really would say 'Yes' or not.**_

" _ **Yes, I will. Wow… So I'm like going to have a sister… Cool. I can't wait to finally meet her." Toni heard Will chuckle then felt really self-conscious, so she quickly asked. "So do you know how you're going to ask her?"**_

" **Yeah I do… I was thinking…"** _ **William then explained the whole elaborate night that he had planned out down to the tiniest detail. Toni couldn't help but smile at the excitement she heard in her brother's voice, even if she didn't totally understand why someone HAD to get married to be happy. In the back of her mind she was calculating how much a ring, a dress and the whole wedding would cost and cringed thinking about how many trips she could take with that money. It all just seemed like such a waste, especially since relationships didn't seem to actually last. Will would probably meet someone else soon and think that she was the center of his universe and then Tara would be left alone to start from scratch again.**_

" **Toni? Chiclet..? You still there?"** _ **Will called out softly.**_

" _ **Yeah… Yeah I'm here. Sorry… But yeah that all sounds great," Toni replied encouragingly even though she wasn't sure what she had just complimented.**_

" **Hey Toni don't worry, when you meet the right guy all of this will make a lot more sense… I know I sound like a crazy person, but you'll understand when it happens to you… And I promise I'll be right there to help you through it."**

_**Toni wanted to be completely dismissive, but she knew that William wasn't saying that to be condescending or mean in any way, so she swallowed her bitterness and tried to share in his happiness. "Okay, yeah… If I do it would be nice to have someone to help me through it… So… Where is this jewelry store anyway?"** _

_**Vanessa had started counting down the days until Thanksgiving for the first time in three years because she was just about ready to strangle Toni. It wasn't that she wasn't excited for her best friend, but this was the semester that she not only had the Art History course from Hell, but she was also taking a class on Shakespearean Literature that she was sure was designed to slowly kill its students as well. One of those classes would have been enough to drive her completely crazy, but taking both of them on top of working on the main stage show was making her feel nearly suicidal or homicidal depending on the day from all of the stress.** _

_**She had been out all night working on some last minute set and lighting changes, but figured that Toni wouldn't have noticed with all of the last minute packing and planning that she was doing before heading up to Washington State. Vanessa still thought it was kind of ludicrous how anal Toni was being about her packing because she still had at least two weeks before she set out on her trip which should give her more than enough time to get everything done. But Vanessa said nothing because she also knew how much Toni missed her brother and how hard this past year had been on her with not being able to spend more time with him.** _

_**As she dragged her tired limbs towards their room, Vanessa stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her dorm room door open. She shook her head sadly thinking that Toni was heading out for a run (she kept reminding Toni that she was skinny enough and beautiful as she was, so she didn't have to bust her ass at ungodly hours to workout), but then she almost fell over in shock.** _

_**A very handsome naval officer in a crisp white uniform stepped out of her room placing his hat on his head. Once he was in the hall, he turned and held Toni's face in both hands then leaned down to place a long, lingering kiss on her lips. Before standing up straight, he moved his lips to Toni's ear and said something to her too softly for an out-sider to hear. Toni just nodded in reply and then they both reluctantly turned away from each other.** _

_**It took Vanessa a minute to process everything then she sprinted to their room and threw open the door nearly shouting, "Oh my God! Toni he was hot! Who…?"** _

_**Before Vanessa could finish that thought, Toni looked up from the bag that she was packing. Vanessa didn't have to ask anything else after seeing the look on Toni's tired face, so she just ran over to wrap Toni in a tight hug.** _

" _ **Oh Sweets… I'm so sorry… How…? How long do you have before you have to leave?" She asked not relenting on the intensity of her embrace.**_

_**Toni shuddered in Vanessa's arms then choked out tearfully, "As s-soon as p-p-possible… Th-the Colonel is Em-em-em… MIA… S-so I have to ge-get up there t-to take c-care of things."** _

_**Vanessa sat Toni down on her bed and tried to get her to calm her breathing so that she could try to understand what her friend was saying better. Much to Vanessa's surprise, Toni was actually clinging to her so tightly that Vanessa could barely move her arms to comfort her distraught friend.** _

_**Toni and Vanessa just sat as they were until Toni fell asleep sitting up from her tear-filled exhaustion. Vanessa laid her down on the bed as gently as she could and started to tuck her in when she notice something in Toni's hand. She tried a few times to free the black jewelry box from Toni's vice like grasp but her fingers wouldn't relent, so she just left it alone to let her friend get some sleep.** _

_**She quickly changed into her pajamas then crawled into her own bed and watched Toni sleep for a while. A few tears fell onto her pillow while Vanessa tried to take stock in everything and the realization hit her that Toni had lost the last man in her life that she loved with all of her heart. She had seen how broken Toni was after Alex passed away, but that just seemed to make her relationship with Will that much more intense and concrete. But now Toni had lost him too and she had no idea how she would be able to fill those shoes for her best friend.** _

_**When she woke up later that day, Vanessa noticed right away that their room was more barren than when she had first come in earlier in the day. She didn't bother looking for Toni because Vanessa knew that she would be gone. Instead she looked for the enveloped that she was certain that Toni would have left to explain to her friend what she couldn't (and wouldn't) say out loud.** _

_**Toni had made her bed like she had every morning, with perfectly crisp corners, and Vanessa found the envelope waiting for her on Toni's pillow. She didn't even have to read a single word before the tears in her eyes started to blur her vision because she could see the spots where Toni's tears had already been absorbed by the paper. As she read what Toni had written, she felt like someone had torn her heart out. She crawled into Toni's bed with unending tears falling onto Toni's pillow. Vanessa never ignored the phone, but knowing that her best friend had left this place for the last time had her feeling so depressed that she was nearly catatonic.** _

_**She finally got out of bed when Kory opened the door to their room with the key that Toni had placed in the envelope of the letter that she had left him. He and Vanessa commiserated together for a while, but he knew that neither of them would be able to change Toni's mind, so he followed Toni's wishes and started packing all of her things while Vanessa started making phone calls.** _

When Toni got back to Bobby's, she could hear him talking with someone in the study. Toni had been out longer than she had originally anticipated and after being away from such intense exercise for so long, she was really feeling the effects of the endorphins and muscle fatigue so it took her a minute to distinguish to whom the second voice in the room belonged. While she was still panting in a few breaths, she slowly made her way up the stairs to squat down to steal a quick look through the bannister. It was somewhat awkward and difficult to achieve, but she did manage to catch a quick glimpse of a tan trench coat causing her to sigh softly in relief.

As she continued up the stairs, Toni chuckled to herself whispering, "Angels."

Toni took her time in the shower because Bobby's words had finally sunk in while she was out running and she knew that she couldn't control the flow of time. She was still riding her high and sense of calm as she slowly dressed even though her concern for Sam's safety was still a seed germinating in the back of her mind. As she pulled her still wet long hair into a messy bun, Toni stared at her sad eyes and forced herself to take in a few deep, long breaths to maintain her Zen like calm.

"You can't change anything from here Toni," she coached herself out loud. "Just stay positive… You can do that right? They've both survived Hell, so they can endure a little time travel no problem…"

Hearing herself talk about Hell AND time travel in the same sentence made Toni laugh out loud spontaneously which in turn made her feel like she would actually be able to keep going without crumbling completely. As she made her way down the stairs, she noticed that the house was eerily quiet right now. She almost called out to Bobby to ask if he had eaten anything solid while she was out today, but she was silenced by a loud knock at the door.

Sam had answered the door by time that she hit the main floor and he hurried into the study, package in hand, without noticing her at all. Toni stood in the hallway staring at the front door with a soft, thought filled scowl on her face before she registered that she had seen Sam… SAM… In the flesh and she almost tripped over her feet to get to the study to double check that he hadn't just been a figment of her sometimes over active imagination because she was starting to miss him so much.

Toni rushed to the doorway and stood there watching Sam's back as he held up a letter to read it out loud to the crowd. "Dear Sam, I got this address and date off you 'thingamajig' and thought the enclosed might come in handy. Regards, Samuel Colt."

Dean had been trying to read the letter along with his brother and just gave Sam a questioning look in regard to what 'the enclosed' might actually turn out to be. Sam then extracted a clear bottle filled with a black substance, but Toni could tell straightaway that none of the men immediately knew what its contents actually were or what it could be used for either.

Bobby forced his head off of his hand to ask, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Ashes of the Phoenix," Dean replied in slight awe and reverence. "You know what this means?"

"Yeah," Bobby retorted sarcastically. "I didn't get a 'soulonoscopy' for nothing."

Sam and Toni groaned as she approached the group after Bobby's attempt to joke when they saw how drained and exhausted the hunter and their angel friend looked, but Dean wouldn't be dissuaded from speaking his mind as he confidently countered, "Yes. And… It means we take the fight to her."


	25. Now I Wanna Coax You From Your Hell

Toni bent down to kiss Sam's lips again and then she felt him trying to shift his legs under her to make another attempt to flip her over. She pressed her knees into his thighs to keep his legs from moving and tightened her grasp around both of his wrists that she still had pinned over his head. Sam wriggled a bit more, but Toni just shifted more of her weight onto him with a disapproving glared etched on her face that finally made Sam cease resisting her hold on him.

He opened his mouth to ask her a question or plead for his freedom, but Toni just kissed him again to keep him quiet. Every time that she leaned down to kiss him, Toni had to shift her whole body forward which made it easier for Sam to move his legs and hips. He didn't think that she had caught onto what he was doing, so while she assaulted his lips, he once again attempted to free one of his legs to hook around her to try to reverse their current positions.

Suddenly Toni shot up to sit on Sam's upper thighs while somehow maintaining her uncomfortably tight grip on his wrists. "Uh uh uh Sam. You still owe me an apology… Once I'm satisfied that you are truly repentant, then we can see about negotiating your future rights and privileges in this bed."

Sam frowned thoughtfully as Toni released his hands and slowly trailed her hands down his arms. Once she reached his elbows, she bent her fingers so that she could lightly graze her nails over his skin as she continued moving her hands towards his chest and then to each side of his rib cage.

Sam couldn't help but start to squirm as she tickled his sides, but Toni ignored that movement while she continued her explanation in a quasi-stern voice, "I go out to help you guys by picking up supplies in town and then I get back here to find an empty house… No note… No messages on my phone… That can really hurt a girl's feelings you know?"

"I'm s-s-sorry," Sam attempted to utter a sincere apology, but his speech was impeded by his desire to laugh as Toni worked her nails over his flesh.

Sam slowly moved his hands and tried to gently catch Toni's but she wasn't having any of that, so she swiftly handcuffed his wrists in her hands again. "Sam, did I say that you could move those hands?" She questioned humorlessly as she forced his hands to where she had placed them previously above his head again. "Such a bad boy… First you go and kill Eve without me… Then you make me drive ALL the way to Oregon all by my lonesome… And if that wasn't bad enough, I get beaten up by a demon on a 'routine info run'… And now you aren't following orders? What am I going to do with you?"

She was still leaning over him, so Sam raised his head up as much as he could off of his pillow then strained to kiss Toni's lips. He was just barely able to brush his lips against hers, but he definitely could feel that Toni was grinning wickedly. She couldn't decide if she should torture him a little more by moving back half an inch so that she would be just out of his reach or if she should give in and drop this whole act all together.

"I'm really sorry… Cas jumped the gun…" Sam whispered so that she could feel his breath against her flesh. "I would never leave you behind on purpose."

Toni opened her eyes and saw that Sam was still trying to stretch his neck up to kiss her properly. Seeing him in that position made her worry that he might actually pull a muscle in his neck or upper back, so she gave in just a little and lowered her face to his and eliminated any space between them.

After her lips touched his, Sam let his head flop back onto the pillow with a grateful sigh. Toni just allowed his movement to break their embrace, but before he could voice any worry, she brushed her nose against his saying, "Well… You did get your ass handed to you by one of the demons at Ellsworth's place… So… I guess I can forgive you for that."

Toni then pecked Sam's lips and he thought that his 'punishment' was over, so he tried to move his hands away from his head again. Toni froze in her spot and in the middle of kissing his cheek she asked an annoyed, "Sam?" against his skin.

"I… I thought… I uhh…" He explained somewhat confused. "You said that you forgave me."

"Yes I did say that… However, you must not have been paying close enough attention to my words… Now I'll repeat myself, but just once so… Are you listening?" She breathily asked into his ear as he nodded. "I said that you were also beaten up by a demon, so I can forgive you for that indiscretion… But… We still have the small matter involving your little trip out West to discuss," she explained while sitting back again to look down at him.

"I know… But I really didn't have a choice in that matter," Sam explained as he weaved his fingers with hers that were still above his head. Toni kept her eyes locked with his as he tentatively moved their hands down to his sides further clarifying, "After Lenore told us where to find Eve, we had to move quickly because she knew we would be coming… And then Cas killed Lenore, so we lost our only lead if Eve had decided to skip town…"

Toni remained silent and just nodded her head slowly as she permitted Sam to give his reasoning. He paused momentarily to see if he was going to be reprimanded again for moving without being given permission. When Toni didn't object, he carefully unlaced their hands and placed his on her hips to test her reaction to that action. Again Toni didn't offer any protests, so Sam made his boldest move yet by lifting her up slightly so that he could throw her down onto her back while he blanketed his naked body over hers.

"Cas and Dean were the ones with itchy trigger fingers," Sam continued as he penetrated her with one strong thrust of his hips. "I… Called… As soon… As I… Could…"

Toni wasn't able to hear what Sam was saying, not because she wasn't listening but because all of her senses were solely focused on the feelings of ecstasy radiating through her body. Not that what he was saying really mattered in the end because Sam had already explained the situation and everything regarding the time sensitivity of the job back when he initially called Toni to tell her about the trip and then when he asked her to meet them halfway back to South Dakota. She had been the one to suggest that they wait in Oregon for her because she didn't want their situation to get complicated by them getting caught crossing State lines in a stolen vehicle. She knew that it wouldn't have been their first time doing that, but she didn't want them to press their lucky any more than they already had, especially now that the population of a whole town had basically been wiped off the map while they were working in it.

This was just a part of the 'game' that they were playing right now while they both tried to avoid another deep and almost sorrow filled heart to heart. Both Sam and Toni had been shaken up by the revelations that Castiel had announced while caught in the ring of Holy Fire, but neither could really put those feelings into words right now. Those feelings were then piled on top of Toni's first encounter with a demon following the talk that she had promised Sam, so she was feeling more than emotionally raw right now. During the unexpected fight in Ellsworth's cabin Sam had instantly recognized the look of fear in Toni's eyes (even if he wasn't expecting to see something like that on Toni's face) when she shot it and couldn't easily stop the creature's advances. Up until now, she had never come across anything that she couldn't out maneuver or out smart some way, but when the demon barely scoffed at the injury she had inflicted on its body Toni realized that she was grossly out-matched and froze in fear for the first time that she could remember in her life. Sam knew that that was going to be a very touchy subject with her so he was more than careful not to broach the subject first, but he still sincerely hoped that she would introduce that topic of conversation with him so he could at least try to offer her some advice for her next demon encounter (in case he wasn't there fighting beside her).

Sam continued to whisper a few apologies through his grunts as he rocked himself in and out of Toni at a feverish pace. Toni clung to Sam's arms so tightly that she thought that she might draw some blood while she tried her best to keep up with him. She loosened her grip slightly, but Sam's tempo made her feel like she could disengage from him at any moment so she dug her nails even deeper into his flesh this time, not caring one bit if his pleasure would override the pain she would be causing him right now.

"Oh… Oh… God… Sam…" Toni gasped as she threw her head back. When her skull didn't connect with the mattress like she thought it would and she felt her head hanging over the edge at the foot of the bed, Toni's grip tightened even more around the muscles of Sam's arms. Toni tried to verbalize her concern that she might fall off the bed, but her brain couldn't string together a coherent thought, let alone a full sentence. Sam hissed loudly when her nails started to dig even deeper into his skin, but he wouldn't allow himself to let up on his back and forth pace at all. At some point he opened his eyes so that he could look at Toni's facial expressions right now, but he couldn't actually see her face because Toni had left her head hanging over the edge so that if she opened her eyes she'd see nothing but the clothing they had thrown to the floor hours ago.

He slowed the momentum of his thrusts as he watched Toni's stretched neck as she tried her best to swallow a few quick, shallow breaths. She was still trying to speak, but the only sound that she could make was a few satiated moans even though deep down she wanted to encourage Sam with actual words. Sam smiled at himself when he saw her current state, especially at the fact that her grip on his arms was starting to loosen up, even if it was only the tiniest, minute amount. He could feel himself getting close to his climax while he started to wonder if Toni was approaching her own, but he got his answer when he bit down on her neck and felt her hold her breath before she struggled slightly to breathe.

Toni started panting in a few more breaths as she came down from her high and Sam tried his best to soothe the bite mark he had created on her throat with his lips and tongue as he whispered, "So…? Is my apology's accepted?"

"Maybe," Toni answered as she grabbed at Sam's arms so that she could pull her head up to look at him. "I'm kind of getting a head rush here… Do you think you could help a girl out and pass her a pillow?"

Sam chuckled then pulled Toni somewhat forcefully onto his lap and hugged her to his chest as he laid back down on the bed. Once they bounced on the mattress Toni shifted to make herself more comfortable and placed her head on Sam's chest while he kept a comforting arm around her waist.

"Is this better?" Sam asked against her head before he kissed her hair again.

Toni nodded on his bare chest then replied, "Well it isn't a pillow, but I guess it'll do."

Toni's head bounced softly against Sam's chest as she laughed quietly. In an attempt to further calm herself, Toni stayed nestled in Sam's arms for a few more minutes while he ran his hand up and down her arm. His heartbeat had slowed to a steady rhythm and all of his muscles felt relaxed, but Toni couldn't stop her thoughts from racing and was starting to feel a little bit guilty that she couldn't just relax with him, especially right now. She rubbed a few circles on his chest while she collected her thoughts, still found that she couldn't bring herself to ask him the questions that she desperately wanted to if she stayed in this position.

While still trying to put all of her questions and commentaries into some sort of order, Toni rolled out of his arms so that her back was facing him. Sam mistakenly thought that she was finally turning in for the night, so he rolled over and tried to hug her against his chest to cuddle with her while they slept.

Since she thought that she had finally mustered up the courage to talk to Sam about everything on her mind, Toni rolled away from him again and nearly fell off the bed when she tried to face him. Sam wasn't sure what Toni's motivation was for moving away from him, but he still moved back and away from her to give Toni more space. Toni shifted over slightly so that she wouldn't feel like she was going to fall off of the bed and then after she settled in her place she started tracing Sam's tattoo with a feather light touch with her left index finger almost absentmindedly.

"Fuck…" She sighed not taking her eyes off his chest. "So… That's what it's like to fight demons huh?"

Sam cautiously started to run his hand softly up and down her arm as he answered, "Yeah… That's how it is… Did…? Was it…? Umm… What you expected?"

She tried to shake her head against her pillow which wasn't easily done in her current position. With the movement of her head, Toni's sweaty hair fell in front of her face and completely obscured her view of Sam's face. She smiled inwardly at the veil of hair in front of her eyes because it always seemed easier to confide the truth in someone when you didn't have a chance to analyze their reactions to what you were saying. Since she couldn't just turn her back on him right now and she didn't have a napkin to stare at while she shred it into tiny pieces and neither of them were wearing any clothing to hide behind, her hair had to be the next best thing.

"Yeah… Well no… I mean…" She scowled to herself in frustration because she didn't want to struggle through her response like she seemed to be at the moment. "I… I knew that they were sort of invincible, but… but… He didn't slow down… Or even flinch and then… Fuck… He was just so strong… How…? How have you guys been fighting them for like…? Ever without…? Umm… Without…?"

"Dying?" Sam questioned as he pushed her hair out of her face and tried to tuck it behind her ear.

Toni shook her head with her eyes closed then turned her face into her pillow saying, "No… No… Without… Well you make it seem so much easier than it was…"

"Hey… We've just learned how to make hard look easy. It's all just smoke and mirrors, I swear…"

Sam brushed her hair back even further to expose her neck and he kissed it a few times to try to comfort and encourage her. Toni huffed in a couple of breaths then she knocked Sam's hand away when he started to tickle her causing him to retreat back to his side of the bed. When Toni turned her face towards him, Sam saw that she had started crying. He expected that she would turn away again, so he stayed still to let Toni make the next move. Although she really wanted to roll over so her back would be facing him (like she knew that he expected), she instead just grabbed the sheet that was bunched up at her knees to dry her face before tossing it aside again.

"Please don't joke about that… Dad showed me the book where you… You… And the one with Dean…" Toni felt like she was unable to maintain any sense of composure so she sat up and did turn her back on Sam so that she could at least try to get a handle on her emotions.

Sam watched her with a worried eye, but just raised himself onto one arm while he watched her. His hand slowly reached out towards her back as she furiously swiped at the strands of hair that refused to stay behind her ears, but he just let it fall to the mattress before his fingertips could brush against her skin.

Toni suddenly took in a deep breath and sat up straight then asked the wall in front of her, "What do I need to know about fighting them…? You know for the next time I come up against one?" She heard Sam scoff softly so she looked over her shoulder and half-heartedly glared at him saying, "Castiel won't always be there to save us… You won't always be at every fight to protect me… What do I need to know?"

Sam moved a little bit closer to Toni as he explained, "Just the old hunting standards: salt and iron… And holy water hurts them… Oh and of course Devil Traps come in handy."

As Sam spoke, Toni turned back to face him and sat back against the headrest. Sam was still lying across the bed at an awkward angle so he moved back and put his head back on his pillow.

"Sounds like everything you would use on an angry spirit," Toni meekly replied.

Sam stroked her thigh to get Toni to look down at him, but she still tried to avoid making eye contact with him as she asked, "So… Once you trap them…? What then?"

"You exorcise them," Sam stated very matter-of-factly as he sat up beside her and held her face in both of his hands. As he talked her eyes flew open so he placed a chaste kiss on her lips then answered the question he was sure that he could see in her eyes, "I'll get you a copy of an exorcism and help you out with it until you've got it memorized."

Toni leaned down and hugged Sam's torso with a quite but sincere, "Thanks Sam, I'd really appreciate that."

Sam kissed her hair then rested his chin on her head and just held her tightly in his arms. Toni listened to the steady beat of Sam's heart and as their breathing fell into synch, she finally felt her whole body, mind and soul relax. As she started to mold herself to his chest, Sam wrapped his arms even more securely around her.

"Sam…?" He more felt her ask against his chest than heard the word.

He waited to see if she was going to sit back so that he would be able to hear her more easily, but when she didn't he rested his cheek on the top of her head replying, "What's on your mind Toni?"

Toni inadvertently smacked the back of her head against Sam's chin as she sat back while taking in a long, deep breath. Sam didn't move as she took his hands in her then set her shoulders and stared at his chest saying, "I'm really glad we talked… I don't know if I made that clear before because… Well… I'm still getting used to this whole sharing my feelings and stuff. So… Uhh… Thanks for being so patient with me."

Sam tilted her chin up and with a cheeky grin plastered on his face, he answered, "You're more than welcome… Girlfriend." Toni bit her lip and gave him a tight smile, but before she could speak, he kissed her softly then said, "We should at least attempt to get some rest tonight."

Her bottom lip was starting to throb slightly, but Toni kept her teeth clamped down hard on it as she nodded. They both crawled under the covers and when Toni rolled onto her left side, Sam did the same but he just stared at her back. Sam had already decided that he wasn't going to rush Toni into expressing any forms of intimacy that she might not be comfortable with after she had already ventured out of her comfort zone so they could have a long, no holds barred discussion about their relationship and how both of them were ready to take it to the next level, starting with being monogamous. Toni still found it hard to verbally express her feelings so Sam was willing to give her as much time as she needed and wasn't about to start complaining about her proclivity to express herself physically instead of verbally.

Toni curled herself into a loose fetal position waiting for the heat of Sam's body to warm her up and it took a few minutes for her to realize that he wasn't moving and didn't seem inclined to change their current positions. She shifted over the inches between them very slowly until her flesh brushed against his. As she pressed her back against his chest, she found Sam's right hand to drape his arm over her waist. Sam pulled her in closer to him then kissed her shoulder a couple of times in an effort to reassure her that his feelings hadn't changed.

"Hey Toni?" He whispered with his chin resting on her shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

She weaved her fingers with his and kissed his knuckles groaning in her head. She was feeling so beyond spent that she didn't think that she could handle another heart to heart with him and was about to whine to Sam along that vein until she heard herself reply, "Anything Boyfriend."

"You have the anti-possession tattoo… So… Since everything you need to know about fighting demons was written in that book…? Albeit on a much larger scale than you should come across… Umm…"

Toni groaned then sputtered out a laugh causing Sam to fall silent then she answered, "Yeah… I guess I would have learned everything I need to know if I had of finished that story."

Sam squeezed her as he laughed asking, "What?"

"Well… I didn't know that there was a whole series and I just couldn't bring myself to read about Sam and Dean dying, so I stopped… Then when I was bored one day I did some research on the tattoo and decided that it couldn't hurt to get it just in case," she explained while Sam's stomach continued to bump off her back as he continued to laugh.

Once she fell quiet, Sam stopped kissing her neck and shoulder to ask, "So why haven't you gone back to read it all?"

"Well at one point I had decided that since dad has the whole series now that I was going to start from the beginning… But then I just jumped between books… I read mostly the sort of fun ones or ones that sort of sounded like anything to do with a job I was working… Hence the tendency to hunt werewolves… I tried to read 'All Hell Breaks Loose Part One', but I only made it through the first chapter… So really I haven't made it through a whole book about demons."

Toni trailed off and started placing soft embraces on the back of Sam's hand so he moved his mouth by her ear asking, "Why stop after the first chapter?"

Sam felt her tears hit his hand before he heard her soft sniffle. She then attempted to roll over so Sam moved away and laid down on his back as she cuddled into his side. He let her have a moment to compose herself and ran his fingers through the length of her hair to try to comfort her.

She placed her cheek on his chest then much to Sam's surprise she answered very calmly through her tears, "Before I knew it was all about you, I had this huge crush on 'Sam' and I didn't want to read about his death… Even after I found out from Dad that he… You were brought back to life…" She turned her head to look over at his face then added, "It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone could do that to you."

She stayed as she was, cheek to chest, and since Sam knew that he couldn't kiss her from this position, he just petted her head issuing a forlorn sounding, "Toni…"

"I know… I know Sam… You and Dean are still alive and that's all that matters in the end… But… It really doesn't make me want to read about you guys dying either." Toni moved over and kissed Sam deeply then announced lowly in his ear, "I can't even stomach reading 'Heart' anymore."

Sam chuckled then rolled onto his side so that he was facing Toni before he replied, "Fair enough."

After Toni woke up alone to the aroma of coffee wafting in the air, she quickly got dressed the hurried downstairs to get herself a cup. She wasn't surprised to see all three men already hard at work, but she still didn't understand how they did it. All of them had just had their asses handed to them by demons and then they had an emotionally exhausting go around with their Angel… Friend… And yet Bobby and the Winchesters were still going full speed ahead without taking any down time at all. She had gotten into the habit of taking time off between jobs and wasn't used to working at this pace, but she was determined not to let them see that she was feeling tired and sometimes like she was in way over her head.

She entered the study while they were in the middle of a somewhat intense discussion. This seemed to have become a bit of a norm for her, so she slipped onto the couch soundlessly while listening in so she could try to catch up straight away.

Sam held his hand out to Dean who was sitting on the opposite side of Bobby's desk demanding, "Let me see that."

After he relinquished (well after Sam snatched the paper out of his brother's hand), Dean asked, "Am I supposed to know who that is?"

Toni choked slightly on her coffee while all three of them stared at Dean in disbelief. Bobby recovered first saying, "Horror writer…? 'At the Mountains of Madness'…? 'The Call of the Cthulhu'…?"

Dean looked from Bobby to his brother, who shared a soft laugh with him, before Dean replied, "Yeah, it's… No I'm… I was too busy having sex with women."

As he took a drink from his mug, Bobby and Sam rolled their eyes, but Toni was quick to retort, "You mean you were busy banging bimbos. Some of us still managed to open a few books while…" She looked up from the book she was skimming through and caught the chagrinned looks on all three men's faces and defensively asked, "What? So Dean's the only one that can brag about his promiscuity? I was just saying… Well that… Ah crap, you know what? Just… Just forget about it."

Bobby shook his head and tried to get them back on track saying, "Well anyhow. There's one notion that comes up over and over again in his stories. Namely opening doors to other dimensions and letting scary crap through."

"You don't say," Dean observed sounding somewhat thoughtful.

"Wait," Sam jumped in excitedly, tipping the paper he had stolen from Dean to an angle that allowed Toni to read it over his shoulder. "So you're saying you think Lovecraft knew something about Purgatory?"

Bobby shrugged replying, "All I know is Moishe paid him a visit."

Toni leaned in close to Sam to whisper, "Uh… Who's Moishe?"

"Oh right, we haven't really gotten into that yet" Sam answered with an uncomfortable laugh. Toni sat down on the desk so she was facing him as he explained, "A couple of years back we found out that hunting is kind of in our blood… It just wasn't passed down from our Dad's family."

"Holy shit!" Toni gasped louder than she had intended. "Your Mom…? She was a hunter?"

Sam smiled and held up an old leather bound journal saying, "Yep… She came from a long line, but we're still trying to figure out everything that our ancestors knew."

"Wow… Okay…" Toni stated slowly as she stood up. "So where can I start?"

Somehow while they were researching, Toni and Sam ended up downstairs in the Panic Room sifting through the boxes and books in the basement. They behaved themselves for the most part, but at some point they both wound up on the cot with books piled up beside it. They made it through a few of them before Toni's curiosity got the best of her and she started asking Sam about the hunter side of his family.

Neither of them was certain who initiated it, but somehow during Sam's storytelling, Toni ended up straddling Sam's lap while they made out like two horny teenagers. Although she was quite comfortable with her legs crossed behind Sam's back, Toni begrudgingly pulled back from Sam's lips and breathlessly said, "We're supposed to be researching."

Sam nodded then pulled her face back to his replying, "Just five more minutes."

Toni laughed into his mouth and kissed him a few more times before pushing back on his shoulders. "Sam… You should probably head upstairs. Go… Go and see how Dean and Bobby are doing."

She then stumbled over to the desk on weak knees as Sam asked, "Okay and you'll be…?"

"Down here… Behaving myself… Cooling off, reading through these lovely books." Toni looked over her shoulder then added, "I'll head up shortly. Go…"

Sam stopped at the door of the Panic Room and playfully announced, "You know… You're a lot bossier as a 'girlfriend'."

Toni threw a pen at him and Sam ducked just in time not to be hit in the head as she replied, "I can't help it if I'm always right! And you'll do well to listen to me Boyfriend…" Sam popped his head in with an exaggerated pout on his face causing T0oni to laugh softly. "Just go Sam… I'll be up in a bit."

After weeding through two piles of books, Toni switched to searching the internet hoping that would yield some sort of results. After she thought that she found something, she wanted to inform the men as soon as possible, but she stayed out of the study in the hallway when she saw Dean pacing and arguing with someone on the phone. She overheard the name 'Crowley', but didn't instantly connect the dots to its significance. Once she did, Toni completely understood the look of pure fury on Dean's face. After he hung up the phone, she took a tentative step forward, but stopped short of actually entering the room.

"You gotta be nuts if you think I'm gonna let you do this alone. Bobby can take care of the case," Sam explained to Dean sternly.

Bobby stood up asking, "Now guys…?"

Dean interrupted him saying, "Bobby this is a big ball okay? We can't drop it now."

Toni finally approached the group offering a meek sounding, "I think I found something that might be of help to us." She then turned her full attention to Sam to proclaim, "Bobby won't be working alone on this one, I promise."

Sam smiled gratefully, but Bobby was swift to jump in before their moment could attempt to make the other two men overly uncomfortable. "Fine… But how are you two gonna find Addy and Toby?"

Sam shrugged and Dean left the room gruffly answering, "We'll think of something."

"I should probably check on him," Sam directed at Toni almost as if he was trying to ask for her permission to follow Dean out of the room. She nodded whispering "Of course" while blushing profusely because she had never had any man in her life use such a pleading tone with her before. Sam quickly bent down to peck her lips then nodded at Bobby before following his brother's path.

"Bobby…?" Toni started sadly.

He took her by the arm and led her to his desk saying, "Don't worry about them… I'm sure they'll figure something out. Why don't you show me what you found?"

She looked into the kitchen, deep in her own thoughts until Bobby shook her arm gently. "Right… Umm…" She started again as she set her laptop down on his desk then opened up a webpage and turned the screen towards Bobby. "This guy says he has some of Lovecraft's personal letters and stuff… So I was thinking… Uhh… Maybe if we could get a look at them…"

"Then we might be able to figure out why Moishe paid him a visit." Bobby clasped her shoulder then praised her work saying, "Great work Toni… Now we just have to see about setting up a meeting with this guy… Judah, right?"

"Yeah… Umm… About that…" Toni explained uneasily as she closed her laptop. "I was trying to do that… But he kind of got the impression I was hitting on him and it took me a while to figure out he wasn't into that, so I sort of came up with the cover that I was your assistant that was actually trying to set up a meeting for you… Uhh because you're writing an article on Lovecraft and all… It took a bit of convincing but he's totally okay with that… Umm… If you are that is…"

Bobby smiled sympathetically then replied, "Okay 'Assistant', we should see about getting packed up and hit the road so we won't be late." He paused to take in her reaction then added, "After we've said a quick goodbye to the boys that is… And the emphasis is on 'quick' here Toni."

While Bobby was at his meeting with Lovecraft's number one fan, Toni settled in at the local college's library to continue the research she had started back at Bobby's house. She wasn't finding much that she didn't already know about the variety of theories that each of the major religions put forward to their believers about Heaven, Hell and everything in between, so she decided that she should instead refocus her attention on the man that had brought them to town in the first place.

She found that practically every biography she found about the horror writer seemed to tell her the exact same thing, but somehow each writer had found their own 'unique' way saying it. Most of them just glossed over his involvement in the occult and the ones that did attempt to explore that part of Lovecraft's life did a piss poor job in Toni's opinion. With everything that she had learned over the past decade, she could tell that none of these authors had never faced anything that could remotely be classified within the realm of the 'supernatural' and had never actually man an 'occultist' in real life.

Since the accounts in the biographies appeared to be completely laughable, Toni decided to reacquaint herself with H.P. Lovecraft's works. As a teenager she had read a few of his books because Alex had been such a huge fan of the author. She had found that she hadn't really been able to get 'into' his writing because at the time she had found his stories to be too fantastical and unbelievable. Alex had argued that it didn't matter if it was fantasy or reality; Lovecraft wrote with such vivid detail that you couldn't help but lose yourself in his prose. Back then Toni couldn't be convinced, no matter how persuasive her older brother thought he could be with her, but now she thought that she might appreciate his stories on a different level. Secretly she was hoping that he had covertly written the key to opening a portal to Purgatory, but as she flipped through the pages of the first novel she pulled off of the shelf, she tried to keep from letting anything cloud her judgment at the moment. She just wanted to keep an open mind in the hopes that she could find something useful by not forcing it to jump off the page.

Before she made it all the way through the first book, Toni felt her cell phone vibrating. She quickly abandoned the novel on a random shelf and answered her phone just as she as exiting the library.

" _How far away are you from the local library?"_ Bobby asked without waiting for Toni's greeting.

"Umm…I think I'm within walking distance… I'm not sure…" Toni replied as she detoured to find a city map by the campus security office. "Why? What am I looking for?"

" _I've got a list of names that we need to research,"_ Bobby explained. _"I'll head to the city's Hall of Records then call you in an hour, alright?"_

"Yes Sir… Let me just grab a pen and paper," Toni answered while she balanced her phone between her ear and her shoulder so that she could rifle through her messenger style bag. "Okay what are those names?"

After she slipped her phone into her jeans' pocket, Toni worked at replacing everything into her bag. While she had her attention focused on that task, she felt a firm hand land on the small of her back. Normally she would have playfully leaned into any guy's hold, but right now she saw only Sam in her mind's eye, so she unconsciously went completely rigid in her bent position.

"You don't have to look so hard Sweetheart, I'm right behind you."

Toni stood up straight and turned to face her Wanna-Be-Romeo with one eyebrow quirked in a silent question of 'What the hell?'. He raised his hands up in a sign of surrender saying, "Sorry… Sorry… My friends said that that line would work."

Toni smiled warmly then just held up her left hand answering as kindly as she could without laughing at his 'deer caught in the headlights' look on his face, "Even if the age difference wasn't an issue, I'm spoken for."

His skin visibly paled as he took a couple of step back repentantly saying, "Oh… Umm… I didn't… Didn't see that… Sorry…"

After he stumbled a few more steps back, he turned and ran past his group of friends that had been watching the whole scene. They all turned their slack jawed faces towards her and Toni couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the college kid. She held up her hand so that all of them could see the large jewel on her finger and barely held in her laughter as they scattered.

Once they were gone, she looked down at her finger then traced the outline of the diamond thinking _Sorry Will, I know you wouldn't approve, but maybe… Maybe you weren't totally insane after all big brother._

At the Public Library, Toni focused all of her attention on newspapers from 1937 to see if any of the names on the list Bobby had given her showed up. As she scrolled through the pages of the microfiche, she tried to resist the urge to scroll straight to the obituaries. By the time she hit May 1st, 1937 she found the first article pertaining to one of the party goers… In the Obituaries.

"Of course… Unleash a beast from Hell…" She grumbled softly to herself.

She had to find a librarian to help her with printing out the first couple of articles, but from then on it was smooth sailing. When her phone vibrated this time, Toni was near a fairly noisy printer, so she just double checked that there weren't any prying ears nearby before she answered it, "Hey Bobby, I don't think that I've found anything overly useful, but…"

" _I think I found it,"_ he interrupted hurriedly.

Toni was almost annoyed that she hadn't found anything beyond where three of the six invitees were currently buried, but she just pleasantly answered, "Oh yeah? Great… So where are you parked?"

Even though he knew that Toni wasn't thrilled right now, Bobby couldn't indulge her insecurities right now. When this was all over, he'd find a way to help to stroke her ego so he answered flatly, _"Seventh and Agnes."_

She was already heading out the library's front door as she replied, "Okay, if I hoof it I can get there in just under ten. See you soon."

It took Toni longer than she had anticipated to meet up with Bobby. She wiped her brow as she took the stairs at the Court House two at a time thinking to herself, _Fucking hills! If it weren't for you…!_

She smiled softly when she saw Bobby at his driver's side door asking into his phone, "How's Dean?"

" _About how you'd expect,"_ Sam answered trying not to let the sounds coming from the building behind him from having any effects on him. _"And Toni's…?"_

"Just catching up with us," Bobby replied before passing his phone over the roof of his car to the nearly out of breath woman.

"Hey… S-Sam," she panted out.

" _Toni? Are you okay?"_ Sam asked not trying to hide his concern for her well being.

She chuckled softly as she caught her breath then replied, "I'm fine… Still trying to get back… Into… Shape." Sam was close enough to Bobby's garage that Toni could hear the screams issuing from the demon that Dean was currently 'questioning', so she swallowed hard and asked, "How 'bout you guys? Everything okay?"

" _Working on some leads. Keep up the good work with Bobby. Talk to you soon."_

Sam rushed through his response then hung up before Toni could reply, so she just opened her door and flopped onto the passenger seat. As she handed Bobby his phone, she sighed heavily then asked, "So where are we headed to?"

"Well 'Assistant'," Bobby answered, turning over the engine. "I thought that we could check out the local mental hospital."

Toni's head whipped around to look at him with a surprised and confused scowl on her face. Bobby laughed softly then added, "I'll explain on the way."

"Everyone's so fascinated. Wanna know about my night at the home of the great H.P. Lovecraft," the elderly patient observed staring straight ahead.

Bobby was seated with his hands folded in his lap while Toni sat poised and ready to start taking notes as the hunter replied, "If you don't mind."

"Well you know the story. They did their spell and they all said it failed." He looked around to make sure that no nurses were listening to them before he continued. He leaned in close to asked softly, "Do you believe in monsters?"

Toni instinctively checked around the room as well before catching Mr. Westborough's eyes as Bobby confidently answered, "Yep."

The elderly man eyed both Toni and Bobby up and down as he cautioned, "You know… You go saying that, they'll lock you in here the rest of your life?"

"Sir? Maybe we should just keep it between the three of us then," Toni offered with a playful wink.

Bobby nodded then added, "Whatever you saw, you tell us and we'll buy it straight."

Mr. Westborough kept his voice low as he explained, "The spell worked. A door opened and something came through. B-but it was invisible, so no one knew… Except me."

Toni exchanged a quick concerned look with Bobby, but he just shook his head dismissively at her then asked, "How did you know then?"

"Because it took my mother. It went into her. She wasn't the same. She even smelled different. And then she disappeared and surprise, surprise one by one they all start dying."

Toni and Bobby shared a sad look before Bobby sincerely replied, "I'm sorry about your mom."

"You're the first person ever said that." Mr. Westborough commented with a hint of sorrow before more cheerfully asking, "Hey, you wanna see a picture?"

Bobby nodded, but Toni just kept her eyes focused on the notepad that she was doodling in so she missed the exchange between the two men. She was waiting for Bobby to continue his questioning since the senior seemed to be more than willing to open up to the hunter.

When she heard Bobby quietly exclaim, "I'll be damned" Toni's eyes shot over to her left. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but held her tongue because Bobby was speaking quietly with their interviewee. The elderly man was nodding vigorously and allowed Bobby to take the photo with him. Bobby the stood up abruptly so Toni followed suit and they said a quick good bye before leaving.

As they left the building, Toni finally asked Bobby the question that was on her mind in a hushed tone, "Hey Bobby? What's up with that photo? You almost look like you saw a ghost or something."

Bobby didn't answer right away, but when they got to his car he paused then looked up at her saying, "Yeah… It's something… Uhh… Like that… So… Look Toni? I have a contact that might be able to help, but… Umm…"

Toni had spoken with Bobby numerous times to timidly ask him for help when she was stuck on a case and he had always confidently guided her to the answer. Hearing him stumble over his explanation right now briefly caught her off guard, especially since he was refusing to make eye contact with her as well.

"Sure… Yeah, no problem," she replied sympathetically. "Can you drop me off at the bus depot? I think I can take it from there."

Bobby looked up looking slightly stunned, so she added, "I'll head back to your place and keep researching… Maybe even offer Sam and Dean a hand…"

Once they were back in his car, Bobby gripped Toni's hand warmly saying, "Thanks Toni… If it was anyone else I'd… Uhh…"

Toni placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it offering, "I get it Bobby… Really, don't give it a second thought. I'm fine. I'll make myself useful somewhere else."

She couldn't say that she was surprised to find Bobby's house empty by the time she got back to South Dakota. Toni was somewhat confused to see that the Impala was still parked where it had been when she and Bobby had left. She stared at the car as she unlocked Bobby's front door, but decided that before she dove into that mystery that she need to take a nap or grab a shower or God willing maybe even both.

It turned out that the nap won out and turned into a full night's sleep. She would have probably slept most of the day away but her phone ringing brought her abruptly out of her slumber. She made it half way to destination in a sleepy haze and reeling a bit from everything Sam had told her on the phone. She tried her best to focus on the fact that they had found Dean's family and not the reason why Sam had asked her to meet them at a hospital. To try to keep herself in a positive mood, she gripped the steering wheel tightly and reveled in the fact that she was getting a chance to drive Dean's car. It wasn't the Impala itself that made her smile, it was more that fact that she knew that Dean wouldn't approve of this and it had been a while since she had been able to get away with breaking anyone's rules behind their backs. It was somewhat childish, but she figured that she had to take pleasure in the small things right now.

Sam was waiting for Toni out front of the Oakview Memorial Hospital on a bench when she drove up. He waved when he saw her, but just waited where he was while she parked the car. She quickly found a spot and tried not to run over to him.

"Hey there Handsome, you look like you had a rough night," she greeted him sweetly as she passed him a cup of coffee.

Sam took it from her then kissed her as a 'Hello' then replied, "You're telling me."

Toni placed her cup on the bench beside her and took Sam's free hand in both of hers quietly asking, "Sam did she…? I mean it sounded pretty bad… How are Dean and Toby holding up?"

Sam shook his head then answered, "She's fine… Cas actually showed up to heal her." Sam couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on Toni's face because he knew that he must have been sporting that exact same look more than once during the day. "And that's not all… Dean… He sort of asked Castiel to do him a… Uhh… Favor."

Since Sam paused there, Toni tried to ease the tension that was mounting by weakly joking, "Well if the favor was for your angel pal not to open a door to Purgatory, then I guess we're totally in the clear now."

Sam snickered softly then Toni added more soberly, "Yeah, I know… Wishful thinking… Umm dare I ask what it really was?"

He nodded replying, "Yeah… You should know about this…" Toni watched him with a wary eye but didn't say anything and just let Sam take his time. "He asked Castiel to wipe away their memories. Not just what happened last night, but everything else about him… And then he got Cas to do something that should make it virtually impossible for demons to find them."

"Holy shit! So… He… He made it… They won't have any memory of him at all?"

"Nope," Sam replied with a slight monotone as he continued drinking his coffee.

"But… They're… It's his family… Why?" She questioned nearly on the verge of tears.

Sam put his empty cup down then held her face and kissed her softly. "It's Dean… He… You know…"

Toni nodded then hugged him saying, "But Sam… It's… His son won't know him? That's just… It's so sad and unfair."

Before Sam got a chance to respond they both heard Dean cleared his throat loudly. Toni quickly jumped out of Sam's arms and smiled up at Dean nervously.

"Hey Toni, how'd it go with Bobby?" Dean asked not looking up from his feet.

Dean looked exhausted in a way that Toni had never seen before and she couldn't stop herself from standing up to hug him. He didn't reciprocate immediately but when he finally did, Toni felt him shudder slightly. She gave him a moment to compose himself then they both dropped their hands at the same time and took a step back.

She held out his keys and finally replied, "He's following up on another lead as we speak, so all in all I'd say it went not so bad."

Dean nodded and took his keys then walked towards his car. Toni looked over at Sam in a slight panic, but Sam quickly wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head saying, "It'll be fine. Come on."

Toni trailed behind the brothers because it looked like Sam had something on his mind. As they walked he asked, "Well…?"

Dean replied with a short, "Well nothing."

Sam got into the car but left his door wide open. Toni stood with her hand on the door handle feeling slightly queasy because she knew that Sam wanted to confront Dean. She felt like she would either get in the way and impede that discussion and they'd travel in an uncomfortable silence or she would have to witness said confrontation before they continued to Bobby's in a tense silence.

She finally climbed into the backseat as Dean was warning Sam, "If you ever mention Addy and Toby to me again, I will break your nose."

"Dean…" Sam started almost sadly.

"I'm not kidding," Dean cautioned before turning to face Sam.

Toni gasped silently when she saw the tears welling up in Dean's eyes in the reflection of the rear view mirror. She quickly turned her head to look out the window before Dean could focus his threat at her. Instinctively she knew that Sam would want to press the matter, but breathed a sigh of relief when he too remained silent.

After they got back to Bobby's, Dean headed straight for the kitchen and the only sound that was distinguishable was that of a liquid being poured into a glass. Sam stood in the doorway of the study looking completely torn about what he should do next so Toni turned and walked back to his side. Sam shifted from foot to foot but didn't actually make a move to follow Dean so Toni figured that she could persuade him to follow her.

After Toni took his hand, Sam looked down at her then she quietly instructed, "We should give him some space… At least just for now."

Sam nodded then she led him to the bedroom in silence. Toni tried her best to comfort Sam but still felt uneasy even after he fell asleep. She slipped out of bed to collect their discarded clothing and then got dressed. Once she was fully clothed again, Toni folded Sam's clothes and placed them on a chair and then left a t-shirt and a pair of boxers on her side of the bed with the note that she had just finished writing.

After she had her bag packed, she started to leave the room but stopped to watch him sleep for a moment. She then knelt down and kissed his forehead then whispered, "Stay safe until I get back. Love you."

The house was quiet so Toni moved slowly towards the front door in the hopes that she wouldn't do anything to disturb the relative peace right now. She thought that she was home free but just as she passed the study she heard Dean call out her name a couple of times.

She paused then stepped into the room and Dean didn't give her any time to speak before he slammed his empty glass on the desk and demanded, "Where are you running away to?"

Toni swallowed hard then answered, "I… Uhh… I was going to head home for a bit to umm…"

"And just abandon Sam?" He queried almost angrily.

"No… No it's not like that Dean…"

"Well that what it looks like to me. What the hell else do you call sneaking off in the middle of the night?" He interrupted heatedly.

Toni shook her head vigorously as she stumbled over another explanation, but Dean was quick to cut her off with another accusation. Once they both fell silent, Toni finally realized that this argument that she was having with the eldest Winchester really didn't have anything to do with her relationship with Sam and that it was more about Dean projecting his pain onto her, so she took this moment to decide how she should proceed.

Dean refilled his drink then looked like he was going to say something else, so she made a pre-emptive strike nearly hissing, "Look Dean, you chose to cut your family out of your life, but I'm not going to do that. I miss my Dad and it's been almost over a month since I last saw him… Sam understands and is fine with it so back the fuck off you inconsiderate prick."

She had made sure that Dean was drinking while she made her angry retort because that way she was ensured that he wouldn't be able to interrupt her at all. When she was done, she turned on her heel, snatched up her bag and nearly ran out to her truck without looking back.000


	26. Into an Alley a Hidden Valley

" _Hey this is Sam, leave a message."_

Toni slowly reattached her phone with the cord connected to an outlet in the kitchen without leaving a message and gently placed it onto the counter. Her dad watched her with a concerned eye and almost didn't comment, but he couldn't help himself when he saw the sad look on her face. "He still not answering your calls Toni?"

She just sat down at the table shaking her head dejectedly as her response. The Colonel reached across the table and squeezed her hand offering a kind and remorseful, "I'm so sorry Angel."

"It's alright Dad," she replied holding his gaze with a small smile on her face. "I didn't really expect him to be able to answer. I mean the three of them are dealing with some pretty unbelievably crazy sh- Stuff… So I'm guessing that he can't answer his phone whenever he wants… And to be honest, I think it's actually more that he can't answer my calls as opposed to him not wanting to answer, so I'm sure that it's nothing to be overly worried about."

"That does sound like a reasonable explanation," her father conceded distrustfully. "But a good boyfriend at least calls his girlfriend back when he's afforded a free moment… Remind me that I need to have a little chat with that boy about how he should properly treat a lady if he wants to keep her in his life the next time that I get a hold of him."

Toni laughed softly then walked over and kissed her dad's head then gave him a tight squeeze. "I'll be sure to warn him that you're about ready to put his face up on the dartboard… I'm going to go hide in my room for a bit to do some more research… Umm… If any of them call…? Could…? Would you come up and let me know?"

Her dad held one of her hands with a very melancholic look clouding the expression on his face, but he just simply replied in a loving tone, "Of course I will Angel."

"Dad…" Toni squeezed his hand with an easier smile on her face. "If anything really bad happened to him, Bobby or Dean would have called by now… I'm more than certain of that. You shouldn't worry so much."

As she left the room, he chuckled sadly then quietly said to himself, "I should be the one telling you that Antonia."

Even though Toni had put on a brave face for her dad, she was absolutely terrified that something truly horrible had actually transpired during her time away from Sam and that that was the real reason behind his lack of communication with her. That feeling coupled with the fact that Bobby and Dean had been missing in action as well made her start to regret her decision to return home to spend some quality time with her dad. She knew that things were getting more than serious and uncomfortable than she had ever encountered in both her romantic and hunting life, so she had felt that she needed to regroup by spending time with her father away from the chaos. He had been extremely excited to see her on his doorstep, but he too questioned the soundness of her timing. However, he never expressed that sentiment out loud to her.

This past year had been one full of new beginnings and transformations for the Colonel as well and he was more than determined not to allow either of them to fall back into any of their old habits and destructive coping mechanisms. Toni had explained her reasons for not only wanting, but needing to spend time with him right now, although he couldn't help but wonder if she was just making excuses for running away from any unfamiliar situations with Sam due to the new direction that their relationship had recently taken. He absolutely hated that he felt any amount of doubts about his daughter's truthfulness, but he was a realist and didn't put it past her to keep some things to herself. He was her father after all and he knew that that meant that there were some topics of discussion that any daughter would keep from talking about with their father no matter how close they were. His only hope was that she would find someone else that she could confide in and he very nearly called Vanessa to try to recruit her to help him by playing that role.

"Oh my God! Shut up Vanessa!" The Colonel overheard as he passed Toni's room one day.

" _What? I'm just saying that something pretty major must have happened after you two left here,"_ Vanessa replied with an exaggerated innocence in her tease. _"I mean he's now your… I'm sorry, what was it that you called him…?"_

Toni groaned then interrupted with a slight whine, "'Boyfriend'… I called Sam my boyfriend… Happy? Here I'll say it again… Sam Winchester is my BOYFRIEND, so can we move on from that? Seriously can't we have an adult conversation about this since we're both fully grown women now?"

" _That we are good friend. I'm just glad that you finally caught up with the rest of us,"_ Vanessa answered as one final tease. _"But in all seriousness… You were saying that he hasn't been answering his phone? Are you sure that you left things off on good terms with him before heading home?"_

"Yeah… Everything seemed fine… I mean, I fucked his brains out before saying our goodbyes just like we both always have," Toni replied with easy nonchalance. "Plus you know how our jobs are… It's not like he can just drop everything if he's in the middle of saving someone's life to pick up a call on his cell phone… That is if he's even in cell range. I'm sure he'll call once he gets a chance."

Vanessa listened in a stunned silence and couldn't respond right away. Toni then heard her friend close a door before Vanessa scolded her in a hushed, motherly tone, _"Toni! You do not say that you 'fucked' your boyfriend! You say something like 'made love' or… I don't know just not… No that word."_ She paused and took a breath before more pleasantly adding, _"But you might just have a point about the whole saving lives deal. Do you know where this last job was taking him?"_

"No… Uhh… He was working on all of the travel arrangements when we last talked, but he really didn't know anything concrete… It's sort of the nature of the biz and all," Toni replied sound slightly shy. "Uhh… Vee…? Err Vanessa? Are…? Did I…? Umm… Look I'm really sorry if I offended you."

" _Oh... Darn… No... No, it's fine Toni. I guess that's just the 'Mom' in me coming out a little heavy handed. I really didn't mean to lecture you… Sorry… Okay, well… Now that I've made both of us completely uncomfortable how…?"_

"Don't worry about it Vanessa," Toni interrupted remorsefully. "I forget that I'm not a teenager anymore sometimes. And of course I love you all the more for reminding me of that and setting me straight. You shouldn't be apologizing when I should be thanking you for listening to me bitch and moan about my stupid boy troubles."

Vanessa issued a relieved sigh then replied, _"You know you can call on me anytime Sweets. Make sure you pass on any updates to me soon, okay?"_

"Of course," Toni concluded with an undeniable smile in her voice.

After she hung up the phone, Toni stared at it feeling oddly unfamiliar with her emotions. She couldn't help but question when she had become 'that' girl? She had always scoffed and rolled her eyes at girls who wanted to do nothing but to talk to their girlfriends about their frivolous problems with their boyfriends. And yet now she had just spent the last hour and a half doing just that with Vanessa. Toni had called her with the unconscious hope that Vanessa would ease her mind about the 'Sam situation', but instead her best friend had left Toni asking even more questions. Had she misread the current state of her relationship with Sam? Had she reverted back to old destructive habits when she should have been embracing new ones with him? Did he think that she had abandoned him when she really just wanted to spend a brief amount of time with her dad so that she could rest and be at the top of her game for when things got even worse on the job?

The Colonel had heard Toni talking on the phone, so he had intended to carry on down the hall or back downstairs and let Toni talk with Vanessa in private, but his feet completely refused to move from this spot on the floor. He justified standing in the hallway, eavesdropping, to himself because Toni had left her bedroom door wide open. He reasoned that his daughter would have no expectations for absolute privacy by doing so and couldn't get overly upset with him if she did catch him. Although, if he was being completely honest with himself, Tom would have admitted that he would have been standing behind her closed door as well so that he would have been able to hear the information that she was confessing to Vanessa.

He partially caught her eye during her staring contest with her phone and thought that she looked like she might start to cry at any minute so he held back his more probing questions to ask as light-heartedly as he possibly could, "Toni? Are you ready for a meal break Sweetheart?"

Toni continued staring at the cell phone until she felt her Dad place a soft hand on her shoulder. As she slowly turned to face him, she shook her head slowly. The Colonel squeezed her shoulder then quietly and somewhat hoarsely joked, "You're wasting away on me Angel."

"Actually…" She started slowly with a heartbreakingly sad frown on her face. "I'm feeling kind of wiped out, so I think I'm just going to head to bed."

Her dad held her face, searching her eyes for the truth even though deep down he already knew it. "I still think that you should eat some dinner first, but I won't force you." He kissed her forehead slowly then added, "Sweet dreams Angel. I'll have breakfast ready for you in the morning."

Toni quickly fell asleep sobbing silently into her pillow while still dressed in the clothes she had worn that day because she was feeling too weak to move, let alone get off the bed and change.

Two arms wrapping themselves over her back woke Toni from her brief slumber. She rubbed her cheek on Sam's chest then raised her head slightly to look up at his face, even if it was at a completely uncomfortable angle.

Sam smoothed down her hair on the back of her head sleepily saying, "I almost thought that I was still dreaming for a minute there."

Toni tried to push herself off Sam's chest as she answered, "No, I'm really here. But… I'm probably crushing your chest… Sorry."

"Nope, not crushing me at all," Sam said somewhat dazedly as he tightened his grip around her torso to pull her back down to his body.

"Sam… Sam…" Toni protested vigorously. "You're hurt… I shouldn't be laying on top of you like this."

She somehow managed to maneuver her body so that she was tucked in against his right side without falling off the mattress. Sam just watched in silence as she gingerly picked up his left hand and kissed his bandaged palm a couple times.

"It's no big deal," he commented with a forced calmness. The truth of the matter was that he didn't immediately remember how he had manage to injure his hand, so he had no idea how bad the cut was that was now under the off-white colored bandage.

Toni carefully placed his hand on his stomach then stroked the back of it with two fingers sorrowfully saying, "Dean told me that he had to stitch up your hand… That doesn't sound like nothing to me."

Sam raised his left hand to her head then turned his entire body so that he could give her a strong, reassuring kiss. "You're right, it might be something… But it isn't life threatening."

"Alright, I'll give you that much," she conceded with a mildly relieved sigh.

They both remained quiet just holding each other somewhat awkwardly until Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Toni felt her stomach do a somersault in nervous anticipation of Sam's impending question because all of his muscles had tensed under her embrace which had never been the prelude to anything pleasant in the past.

"So…? You're here… Uhh… Last I heard you and Dean weren't… Umm… Too happy with each other."

Toni rolled over onto his chest once again so that she could properly look down at him and then she kissed him until they both were completely breathless. When she backed off to smile at him she was met with a hard scowl, so she pursed her lips then answered, "Yeah… I kind of snapped at him and put up a wall, but we're okay now."

Sam looked up at her somewhat skeptically causing her to kiss him again before tucking her head under his chin repeating, "We're okay Sam…Honestly it's all good."

He ran his hands up and down her arms and back then more playfully questioned, "Oh yeah? So how did he manage to get back into your good books Girlfriend?"

****************************  
             Flashback  
****************************

Toni had resolved not to call Sam again and to just be patient and wait for him to get back to her, but for some unknown reason she couldn't resist making one last attempt to get a hold of him before she gave into her desire to panic.

" _Toni?"_

She stopped pacing the length of her bedroom floor and stood completely frozen. She heard him repeat her name a few times before answering, "Oh… Hey Bobby… I… Uhh… I meant to call Sam… Sorry for…"

" _This is Sam's phone Toni,"_ Bobby interrupted with gentle firmness. _"I take from your reaction that it means that Dean never got a hold of you…"_ Bobby cursed under his breath, but Toni couldn't hear any of it over the thoughts that started running through her mind.

"Oh God… Oh God… OH…" Toni mumbled almost frantically. "He…? He isn't…?"

" _No Toni, it isn't like that. He just got hurt and has been out of commission for a while,"_ Bobby cut in tersely because he was still so annoyed with Dean's behavior.

"Oh? How…? How bad is it? What happened to him?" She questioned in a calmer voice.

Bobby took a deep breath in an attempt to focus on Toni and getting all of the pertinent information to her. _"We have no idea how severe it is… Toni? How much did Sam tell you about what happened to him over this past year?"_

Toni swallowed hard while sitting down on her bed, but she did find some measure of comfort in Bobby's straight forward manner of speaking so she was able to reply evenly, "He… He told me everything… I think. After Castiel spilled the beans about him being the one that pulled Sam out of Hell, Sam filled in some of the blanks that he had left out before that… Basically that when we met up in Mississippi he had no soul, Dean made some kind of a deal with… Uhh… Death and… Umm… Death… Uhh… Did something to… Uhh… Block Sam's memories because of what had happened to his soul while he was here on Earth. He didn't really get into the gory details of what could happen if he did have those memories back, but I'm guessing that it would be pretty bad."

" _Wow, I didn't know that he had told you all of that… But I'm glad that you've pretty much been brought up to speed,"_ Bobby commented with genuine relief. _"And well… You're right… It is pretty not good."_

"What happened Bobby? Sam promised me that he wouldn't push too much… He promised that he'd just look to the future and let the past be… What…? What changed that?"

" _Castiel happened. He broke the wall in Sam's brain to incapacitate him to try to get Dean to back down. Then he popped Purgatory and after the three of us put up a pretty good fight to stop him, Sam finally succumbed to his… Again… He's been in a coma for over a week this time."_

"This time? He… He was in a coma before this?" She was just barely able to ask around the tearful lump forming in her throat.

" _He didn't…? Damn it!"_ Bobby nearly shouted as his anger towards Dean resurfaced.

"Bobby? Please don't be upset with Dean. I uhh… I kind of told him off… You know kind of forcefully before I left your place, so he… Umm… He probably thought it would turn out badly for him if he did call me," Toni reasoned with absolute, albeit timid, honesty.

" _Toni… Sweetheart, that don't change the fact that he could have asked me to call you to let you know,"_ Bobby countered still sounding quite incensed.

Toni was desperate to get both of them back on track, so she made sure that she lost practically all emotion form her voice before continuing her reasoning. "That may be so Bobby, but we can't change the past. Now… Obviously I've missed a whole hell of a lot, so would you rather fill me in about all of it now or would you be more comfortable waiting until I get there so you can tell me in person?"

" _Oh… Uhh… I guess… I could give you a quick rundown now and then I could give you the full details in person… Sound good?"_ He asked almost as if he needed her permission before he proceeded.

Toni had already started packing, so getting a quick synopsis of the situation sounded more than alright to her so she happily replied, "Perfect Bobby… That would be perfect. Thanks."

" _Okay… So… The long and the short of it…? Castiel popped the cap off Purgatory, sucked down all of the souls and now he thinks he's God…"_

Toni stopped all movement then thoughtfully inquired, "The creepy priests and… The not so holy ministers that have mysteriously died…? That…? That was the Angel? Uhh… Castiel?"

" _Yeah…"_ Bobby couldn't help but laugh nervously because Toni's brain fascinated him so much. _"Yeah that would be him. Of course, before he went on the war path, Sam tried to kill him with this nifty little angel killing sword that we know about, but it didn't work… Then surprise, surprise… Cas refused to fix Sam's noggin', so Sam crumbled under his memories. Dean and I got him back to my place and made him as comfortable as we could, but we don't really know how long it could last or if we've really been able to ward off Castiel from coming into this house or not so he can finish the job and what not… But we've done our best…"_

Again Toni started to feel somewhat overwhelmed, but she was pacified by Bobby's bluntness. "Okay, so that means that running into Castiel is not an ideal prospect. I'll inform the Colonel about that Intel… Now… Bobby, I need to request your assistance with a very important matter…"

" _Ten-four… I copy… Go ahead,"_ Bobby replied curiously perplexed by Toni's overly formal manner and the shift of choice of her words and diction.

She couldn't help but laugh softly at Bobby's reply because she hadn't realized that she had reverted to using her Father's stand-offish manner of speech that he had used to order his children to do their chores and such during Toni's youth. "Shit… Sorry Bobby… I didn't mean… Anyway… To put it bluntly, I fucked up with Dean. He was upset about that situation with his son and… Umm… Addy… So when he was sort of rude to me, I kind of pounced on him… And tore him a new one… So, I'm guessing… Okay… Shit… If the books have taught me anything it's that Dean can hold a grudge and since I'm all about personal growth right now… Fuck… I can't… Bobby, I need an olive branch. Could you maybe help me out with something that I can do to get him to forgive me? Or at least talk to me again?"

Bobby had started laughing too hard to reply, so Toni somewhat childishly whined, "Oh come on Bobby… I could really use your help… Please? It's not like I can ask Sam…"

He laughed a little while longer while Toni chewed her bottom lip raw, desperately trying not to react to his laughter this time. Once he had sobered up, the veteran hunter finally replied (albeit through a soft tumble of laughter), _"Oh Toni, where have you been all of this time darling? You're right… That kid sure did inherit the Winchester stubbornness from his Daddy… Okay… But are you sure that you want to be the one to break first?"_

"Yes Bobby… I… I need to be there for Sam," she answered with a serene tone that would be unnerving to anyone that didn't know her. "And I can't do that if Dean and I are at odds with each other. When Sam does finally wake up, I NEED Dean and I to be at least on speaking terms or I can completely forget about any kind of relationship with Sam. We both know that they realized a long time ago that the only constant in their life would be each other and have depended on that since… Well… Forever, so I know that I have to be the one to fix this. Dean will always be Sam's first choice, I… I have to take that choice off the table before it has a chance to bite me in the ass."

Bobby laughed despite himself commenting, _"Damn, you are just too smart for…"_

Before he could continue to distract them from the way Toni wanted this conversation to go, she quickly added, "I would be the exact same way if my brothers were still alive… Way back when… If Alex or Will didn't like a guy, that guy really had no chance with me."

Toni's subdued tone sobered Bobby up quickly and he seriously asked, _"Alright, so how much do you know about cars…? And by that I mean rebuilding one basically from scratch?"_

"Me? Nothing… I can fill a gas tank or change…"

" _How 'bout cooking?"_ Bobby offered before she could completely finish her thought. _"How are you at baking a pie?"_

"About as good as I am at building a car from scratch… What the hell…?" Toni started before she cut herself off in realization of Bobby's train of thought. "Fuck… FUCK! Those are… Damn…"

" _Yeah…"_ Bobby agreed unhelpfully.

Toni had pretty much packed everything that she needed at this point, so she once again sat on her bed then said, "Alright, I totally get where you're coming from now. Well… I don't know all that much about fixing cars, but Alex did force me to help he when he was working on his truck so I kinda of know at least the parts of a car, but more importantly I inherited a tool box full of tools that are in more than perfect condition for working on any vehicles that Chevy has rolled off the line… Do you think that could be helpful in anyway?"

Bobby tried not to chuckle this time as he replied, _"Well, to be honest Toni, it couldn't hurt you in any way."_

"Okay, good… I know that it isn't ideal…"She commented dejectedly.

" _But it's a start,"_ Bobby cut in encouragingly. _"Make sure that you drive safe and we'll see you when you get here."_

Toni had worried about the awkwardness that she thought would exist between her and Dean during her drive to South Dakota, but he spent the majority of the first day out in the garage, so she was able to completely avoid the confrontation, even if it was just for a short while. When she first arrived at Bobby's, the older hunter gave Toni a few more details about the "Castiel situation" and then she spent a couple of hours sitting with Sam in the hopes that he might awake. On her drive in, she had stopped to buy groceries and sincerely hoped that her making a delicious dinner would help to mask her complete inability to bake a pie from scratch. (Although Toni did have the foresight to buy a pie that she could reheat for dessert after dinner.)

Dean still hadn't come back into the house by the time that Toni and Bobby had finished eating their meals, so Toni put a plate together for him and took it out to the garage. She found him under the Impala, grunting in frustration which impeded his ability to hear her entering the makeshift building. Toni soundlessly placed the dish she was carrying onto a counter then plucked a wrench out of Alex's toolbox.

"I think that you need a 3/16ths for that," she offered politely.

"No shit Sherlock," Dean retorted sounding more frustrated at his situation than angry at Toni's inference of his ineptness. "And if I had one I'd be using it and not be making my life that much harder right now."

She knelt down and snaked the wrench in towards Dean's hand and face replying, "Or you could just use this one."

Dean rolled out from under the car with a wrench in each hand and stared at Toni with a perplexed scowl. She took the tool that was the inappropriate size for the job explaining, "My brother didn't trust anyone with to work on his bah—His truck… And then Bobby mentioned that you were having to do a complete overhaul on your… On the Impala, so…" She nodded towards the large blue toolbox adding, "I figured that you could probably put his tools to better use than I could ever try to… And you know they should be used." Dean's eyes followed her gaze to the over-sized metal box and then landed on the food that she had piled up on a plate causing Toni to laugh softly and say, "And I also figured that you'd probably be hungry since you've been working such long hours… There's uhh… The pie's still warming in the oven right now."

"I can't say that I wasn't starting to feel a few hunger pangs," Dean admitted with a soft smile on his face.

While Dean ate in the garage, he and Toni shared a brief amount of small talk. She asked Dean about the repairs he was having to do on the Impala and was able to sound like she knew what she walk talking about when discussing the different parts of the car. Since Toni seemed to be trying to make some sort of amends, Dean courteously asked her about her dad and Wisconsin. When he had finished eating Toni took his plate from his hands with the promise of bringing him out some warm pie.

Before she exited the garage, Toni silently scolded herself then turned back to shyly call out, "Hey Dean? Look about what umm… I'm… You know…?"

Dean smiled warmly then jumped in over her stumble of words saying, "Forget about it." She tried to mirror his easy smile then turned to leave again but stopped when she heard, "Hey Toni…? I'm…" Dean hesitated slightly then finished his thought saying, "I think that I'm ready to call it a night, so I'll just have my pie inside."

Toni smiled then nodded and continued into Bobby's house without another word. She sighed loudly as she crossed the junk yard because she had some confirmation that things between her and Dean were actually okay. He didn't need to have a long drawn out conversation about the heated words they had said to each other and then get into how their curt words had made each other 'feel', much to Toni's relief because that was always her way of thinking. He just needed to know that she was willing to leave what had happened between them in the past and that she too was willing to move on without over thinking it. That had always been Toni's preferred method of conflict resolution, but it was a rarity to find a like-minded individual who wasn't offended by her preference not to have to go through a heart to heart to get past everything. The first time that Sam had noticed this trait in her back at Stanford he had teased her that he thought that he had felt so comfortable with her because she reminded him of his brother. When Toni seemed to be unnerved by the comparison, Sam was quick to add that she really didn't share all that many traits with his brother, but that he knew not to push her if she didn't want to talk out any of their issues. Toni in turn tried to open up to Sam to prove to him that she actually didn't mind compromising once in a while, especially with a fine specimen like himself. She later learned on her own that she was more like Dean than she had thought was possible, but didn't hold it against Sam for finding comfort in that when he was first away from his family.

***********************************  
               End Flashback  
***********************************

"So… How are you feeling?" Toni asked without moving a muscle for fear that me might hurt Sam inadvertently.

Sam wrapped his arms tightly around her body then replied, "I'm okay…"

Toni placed her palms on the bed's mattress to push herself up to look down at him with a disapproving frown on her face causing Sam to quickly add, "Okay… I AM a little hungry."

She leaned down, pecked his lips and then got up off the bed. "Well we can't have a hungry Winchester on our hands, now can we? I'll go up and fix you something to eat… But take your time coming upstairs, okay? I really don't want you to pull a muscle or anything."

Sam was now sitting upright on the bed and he pulled Toni closer by a finger wrapped around one of the belt loops on her jeans. She didn't even pretend to want to hesitate as she moved between his legs to kiss him softly once again. Toni then brushed Sam's hair off of his face and just stared at him with a strange faraway look in her eyes that he had never encountered before. Sam kept his hands on her hips and let her run her fingers through his hair affectionately while completely lost in her own thoughts.

 _What would I do if I lost you again?_ She questioned in her head, but simply said aloud, "There's a change of clothes for you over on the desk… When you're ready to come up that is."

"Thanks," Sam replied gratefully. He could tell that she had something else on her mind, but he kept his commentary to himself… At least for now.

The backdoor opened and closed loudly, but Toni remained totally focused on the task at hand until she heard the soft thump of boots approaching her spot in the kitchen. As she finished she spared a quick sideways glance to see who was joining her just before she added her last loving touches to the meal.

Dean remained concentrated only on wiping the grease off of his hands and didn't seem to notice Toni until she asked, "The beer's definitely cold… Did you want a little something to eat to go with it?"

"No, but thanks anyway… This is just a short… Uhh… Beverage break," Dean replied as he pulled open the refrigerator door.

Toni was just about to offer Dean some advice that she knew he wouldn't want or like when they both heard a couple of footsteps approaching them. Dean quickly turned around and couldn't mask his surprise if had tried at seeing Sam in the doorway to Bobby's study. Toni had somewhat taken for granted that she had been with Sam when he had awoken from his slumber and immediately felt guilty that she hadn't made that the primary topic of conversation when Dean had joined her in the kitchen.

"Hey Dean," Sam greeted his brother with a casual familiarity in his tone that an outsider would have never imagined that he had been laid up in a coma due to anything supernatural.

The elder Winchester flashed his brother a warm smile then smirked in Toni's direction as he replied, "Ah… You're walking and talking."

"Yeah," Sam answered with an uneasy chuckle. "I… Uhh… Put on my own socks… The whole nine…"

Sam sat perched himself on the edge of the kitchen table as Toni smiled uneasily apologizing, "Sorry Dean, I know… I should have given you the heads up." She left the plate on the counter to step up beside Sam so that she could place a comforting kiss on his cheek before quietly telling him, "I'm going to grab a quick shower while you two catch up. Do NOT forget to eat, okay?"

Dean's face didn't change much from when he last looked at Toni, but his smirk did seem to be a lot less smug as he nodded towards Ton's path saying, "Well that's uh…" He paused and seemed to change his train of thought mid-sentence to continue just as assuredly, "I mean you… Uhh… You sure you're okay?"

When she first returned to Bobby's house, Toni was given a brief tour of the house and description of the grounds with the explicate instructions to make herself at home here. Bobby had explained to her that if they were out in the open, no books or rooms were off limits… Although he had also reminded her to be careful when she read any books with an incantation aloud and that any boxes she found with a heavy lock on them because some things shouldn't be 'played with', no matter anyone's experience according to the veteran hunter.

" _If it ain't accessible, it's for your safety Toni."_ Bobby had cautioned her with a stern tone of voice while also throwing her a playful wink. Toni completely understood that that was Bobby's subtle way of reminding her that she was (relatively) new to the job and that he was more than willing to teach her, but only if she was willing to listen to his words of wisdom and advice.

Toni had been somewhat hesitant about 'snooping' around Bobby's house, but soon enough her boredom fell victim to her curiosity. After that point in time, she divided her time between helping Dean with the Impala and picking Bobby's brain about his latest theory about Castiel and the former Angel's plan. She even tried her hand at manning Bobby's wall of phones when he had been tied up helping Dean find some spare car parts out in the yard with some measure of success. By this point she had made herself more than comfortable and was able to ease her own irregular routing with Bobby and Dean that she hope would continue once Sam was working with them again.

After showering, Toni lingered in the bedroom and wondered if she was going to be 'forced' to share this room with Sam once again. Not that she truly found that prospect to be all that distasteful because she had tried to move or unpack some of Sam's things in this space so that he would know that she wanted to be here with him. So now she found herself cleaning and organizing the room in order to make sure that Sam would feel at ease with her here.

The four of them kept their eyes and ears open for any other strange happenings throughout the world in an effort to try to track any of Castiel's movements within their country. Bobby was convinced that they would be safe and completely in the clear if Castiel kept his attention on destroying religious leaders one by one. Dean seemed to be completely disinterested and frustrated by any talk of their former friend, but the three others knew better than to believe what he was telling them. They knew that Dean was throwing himself into rebuilding the Impala simply because he could. When his world was crumbling around him, Dean survived by finding a project that he could complete to make his world feel right. Once the Impala was restored, Sam worried where his brother's head would be if they hadn't already been able to find a way to stop Castiel.

Although Toni tried to follow everyone's lead, she couldn't help but fall back into some of her routines which were actually her healthier coping mechanisms. As she prepared for her daily run one morning just at the bottom of Bobby's front steps Sam silently started stretching with her. He effortlessly fell into stride with Toni out on the road, but she still remained stubbornly convinced that he wasn't completely serious about this becoming a part of his everyday routine because he had teased her once or twice about it in the past. But no matter how earnest she thought Sam was or wasn't, Toni was determined to have some fun testing him and pushing him to his limits while he ran with her.

As they neared the end of their route, Toni started to vigorously pick up her pace until she was easily sprinting at top speed. Sam pumped his limbs faster and faster to keep up with the pace that she had set and somehow managed to stay by her side all of the way down Bobby's driveway. Toni only stopped once she reached the side of Bobby's car with a bright smile on her face as she watched Sam double over while breathing so hard that she knew it had to hurt him.

Toni patted Sam a couple of times on the back with an open palm, but wasn't able to issue her teasing commentary before they heard, "When you two are done trying to kill each other…"

"Exercising Bobby… I'm pretty sure that kids these days call that 'exercising'… Even though it probably should be classified as torture in my books," Dean cut in playfully. He looked over at Toni and winked in her direction while continuing his banter with Bobby. "Now come on Old Man, we've got some errands to run while they youngins recover."

Bobby glared at Dean then turned to Sam and Toni saying, "After you both get cleaned up I could really use your help Sam… I left out a few things that I'd like you to take a look at for you… You know fresh eyes and all?"

Sam nodded because he still hadn't caught his breath enough in order to reply verbally. Bobby then refocused on Toni and suddenly sounded somewhat repentant as he added, "We're heading into town to get a few supplies that Dean needs to finish the… Impala… Would…? Did you need us to pick up anything uhh…? Personal for you?"

Sam shook his head not noticing the question wasn't directed at him, but Toni immediately perked up answering, "Actually… Could you pick up some Coke and…? Uhh…? Limes? Oh… And… Umm… Rum?"

The three men chuckled at her trepidation, and then Bobby replied, "Of course we can Toni. We'll be back with it all soon."

Toni and Sam stood and watched as Bobby's car moved down the driveway while Sam wrapped his arms tighter and tighter around Toni's waist so that he could stoop to put his chin on her shoulder. Before he could speak, Toni made sure the car had faded from view and stepped out of his embrace before turning to face him and announce, "Sorry but I'm feeling all gross and sweaty… And you… You kind of smell."

Sam smirked then took one of her hands to lead her up the stairs playfully replying, "I guess we should go and get changed then… Did you want to take the first shower?"

Toni scurried up a couple of stairs ahead of him so that she was closer to Sam's height and then lunged forward to kiss him on the lips. "Why choose? We'd save a lot of water if we just took a shower together."

He stood in his place, temporarily frozen until Toni quirked an eyebrow to challenge him and took a step away as if she was going to run away from him. Before she could take a step away from Sam, he grabbed her arm then scooped her up into his arms so that he could easily carry her into the house while she giggled playfully all the while.

The three men came into the kitchen still chatting about the 'current events' while Toni watched the TV looking absolutely shelled shocked. Sam gently grasped her shoulder which finally caused Toni to turn an0d face all of them, even if she only fixated on Sam's face. After she quickly brushed a lone tear away, Toni commented just over a whisper, "They're up to sixty bodies and they expect to find even more bodies once they put all the fires out at the publishing house. Sam… All those people… They were just… They were working and Castiel…"

"Maybe we should turn this off now," Sam proposed as he reached around Toni's body so that he could reach and turn off the TV.

Toni nodded and after her eyes landed on Dean and Bobby, she quickly wiped her dry cheeks while mumbling an apology. Both of them wanted to make her feel any more uncomfortable than they all did already, so they tried their best to just ignore what they had witnessed and move on. Dean retrieved a beer for each of them while Bobby swiftly moved into his study and then started opening drawers so that he could start to gather some of the supplies that they would need.

"Dean made a suggestion that Bobby and I think could work pretty well," Sam explained as the three of them joined Bobby in the study while drinking nervously out of their bottles.

Still feeling quite overwhelmed, Toni just nodded and listened while the men continued talking to finalize their plans. They continued with everything that they were doing and soon enough the four of them found themselves huddled into a hallway in Bobby's basement. Bobby took over while the three other hunters watched in a stunned and amazed silence. Toni found herself peeking over Sam's shoulder as she tried to figure out what Bobby was doing and very nearly asked Sam to explain when none of what Bobby was doing made any immediate sense to her.

After he seemed to be satisfied with his handiwork, Bobby tossed a lit match into a bowl in front of him Toni somehow managed not to flinch when the powder burst into a huge flame in front of Bobby's face, but she did press her body closer to Sam's back. Sam reached back and squeezed her thigh to reassure her but didn't offer any words of comfort because their 'guest' had already arrived.

"No… No! No! Come on!" Crowley shouted once he had turned around to look at all of them watching him in the basement hallway.

Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and everyone in the room could practically hear him rolling his eyes as he replied, "Don't act so surprised."

"My new boss is going to kill me for even talking to you lads," Crowley snapped in Bobby's direction. He slightly craned his neck then courteously bowed his head at the neck and more politely added, "Please do excuse my rudeness… You lads and LADY… Hello Antonia."

Toni gasped softly then tried to hide herself behind Sam's bulky frame as he tightened his awkward but protective hold around her waist. Realizing that she was letting this stranger get the best of her, Toni quickly whispered to Sam that she was fine and side stepped away from his protective grasp to prove her strength to the men in the room as well as herself.

Dean's jaw was clenched so tightly that Toni could barely hear him threaten to the demon in a low voice, "Well you're lucky we're not stabbing you in your scuzzy face, you little piece…"

"Whoa! Wait! What new boss?" Sam interrupted with overwhelming curiosity.

Crowley looked towards Sam disdainfully as he replied, "Castiel, you giraffe."

Toni felt her nails dig into the palms of her hands as she clenched her fists angrily. She had to work really hard at keeping herself calm, but she found that the more that the unknown Scotsman in front of her spoke, the more that she wanted to acquaint her fists with his face. But she knew that that wouldn't be her smartest move. They had summoned him to Bobby's house, so she knew that that meant that he was far from being human, so any fight between them would most definitely end in his favor, which meant that her steely had to suffice for now.

Then the demon made another snide remark to a Winchester and all that she could think was, _What I wouldn't give to have a filled flask of Holy Water right now._

"That's Lucifer," Crowley replied condescendingly.

When she hear the name of the fallen Arc Angel, Toni's knees almost completely gave out on her, but Sam was quick to retort, "A spell's a spell" which helped her to keep from completely succumbing to her fears.

"You really think you can handle that kind of horsepower?" Crowley questioned heatedly. "You're delusional."

Dean hadn't move at all from his place and Toni marveled at his seemingly calm demeanor. It was one thing to read about him having a verbal showdown with a foe, but it was something completely different to witness this back and forth in person.

"Death is the only player on the board left that has the kind of juice to take Cas," Dean explained in the same incensed tone he had already used with the demon.

"They'll both mash us like peas," Crowley replied looking like he was having to explain an obviously dangerous situation to children. "Why should I help with a suicide mission?"

Bobby took a step forward while trying to maintain some sense of composure within himself as he shot back, "Look! Do you really want Cas running the universe?"

Crowley gave Bobby's question a moment of thought then poured himself a drink and slowly sipped it. "There are worse prospects still out there."

Dean pushed his weight off of the stair rail that he had been leaning on to take a step forward, but Sam grabbed his right arm before Dean could raise a fist to the demon as the elder brother yelled, "Quit dicking us around! Will you help us or not?"

"I'll have to give it some thought," the demon replied nonchalantly before sipping from his glass again.

Dean shrugged out of Sam's hold and punched the wood he had been leaning on shouting a loud and frustrated, "FUCK!"

Everyone stood in their place watching Dean in a stunned silence as he snatched the whiskey bottle out of Crowley's hand before stomping up the stairs drinking its contents down. Sam stole a quick glance at Toni and nearly moved towards her but Bobby gave him a reassuring nod so he instead followed his brother up the stairs to check on him. Toni remained cemented to her spot still trying to process everything while Bobby searched for something on the bench that he had been sitting on.

Crowley swallowed the liquid in his mouth then stated almost kindly in Toni's direction, "I'm sorry that you had to witness that ugliness Love. Neither of them ever did learn how to behave when in the presence of a Lady, but…"

"Don't you dare try to mess with her right now," Bobby cut in while holding up the knife he had finally retrieved from the bench.

Toni wasn't sure what to do until she caught a glimpse of a bottle of holy water just to her right. She quickly snatched it up then slowly walked up to Crowley and smiled at him as sweetly as she knew how. At first she thought that she could just toss the bottle's contents in his face, but right now that didn't seem to satisfy her appetite for retribution.

"What Bobby…?" The demon questioned innocently as he smiled at her. "I was just going to tell this beautiful young lady that her brothers are absolutely fine and that she should be proud of the high pain tolerance they both possess in the afterlife."

Bobby's eyes snapped to Toni's face, but before he could attempt to comfort her, Toni unscrewed the lid from the bottle of Holy Water. Both men fell completely silent and still like a statue as they watched her and tried to anticipate her next move. Crowley almost flinched when Toni's hand moved, but her smile just grew wider and more sincere so he became transfixed with her eyes and forgot about her hands.

Toni slowly and deliberately emptied the contents of the bottle into the demon's glass then very sweetly said, "Except that I'm no fucking 'Lady'… Demon scum."

She dropped the bottle at his feet without paying any mind to the fact that a few drops of water hit his skin as she forced herself to calmly make her way up the stairs. Crowley looked between his drink and Bobby's laughing form completely at a loss for words for once. Bobby was still laughing as he knelt down to scrape away some of the paint of the Devil's Trap so that the demon could easily see his way out of Bobby's house.

"She… She ruined my drink Bobby," Crowley commented as if Bobby would care to do something in order to remedy the situation.

Bobby's laughter nearly caused him to shake violently as he held onto the banister and replied, "Yeah she did… It might be best for you to just go and make yourself scarce before you really piss Toni off."


	27. Where the Truth Can Truly Spill

"' _ **Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included'," Toni read aloud as she made a few more notes for her term paper. "Yeah… Good quote Toni, but it's got nothing to do with this Crim course… Focus damn it! Focus!"**_

_**She looked down at the mess of text and notebooks on her bed then decided that it was the perfect time for a break. Vanessa had just recently gotten Toni into doing yoga with her because Vanessa thought that they could both use the stress reliever to deal with school this semester. Well Vanessa needed it because of school more so than Toni because the classes she was enrolled in this term were the most stress-filled of her college career. She used school as an excuse, but in reality she thought Toni could use it to deal with everything that was going on in her personal life. But at the end of the day, Vanessa had mostly talked Toni into coming with her because she didn't want to attend the classes alone.** _

_**Toni rolled out her yoga mat and started to stretch and contort her body into some of the poses that she could remember, but she couldn't really lose herself in those movements like she could in class. After a few minutes, she decided that this was doing nothing to help her concentration and thought that a snack or maybe a run would be more helpful to clear her head before continuing.** _

_**A knock at the door caused Toni to pause as she rolled up her mat and called out, "Come on in! It's unlocked!"** _

_**After Corporal McCord stepped fully into Toni's room, he froze in his spot as he watched her skin go sickly pale and her hands dropped the mat to the floor. He only moved after her weak knees crumbled under the weight of her surprise and sorrow. As soon as he touched her, he could feel that she was shaking uncontrollably. Toni didn't seem to react to his touch, so he dropped his hat on top of the mess that was her yoga mat and scooped her up into his arms to carry her over to her bed.** _

" _ **I'm so sorry Toni," he apologized softly against her hair. He tried to sit down on her bed, but first had to knock her books off it in order to make room for both of them.**_

_**He felt her shake her head then just barely heard her repeat, "No, no, no…" in quick succession over and over.** _

" _ **I'll clean up the mess later, don't worry about it," the Corporal offered, mistakenly thinking that Toni had been further upset by his treatment of her school work.**_

_**He attempted to move away from her, but Toni quickly grabbed his uniform jacket tightly, forcing him to remain close. As he wrapped a comforting arm around her, Toni started to thump a fist against his chest and sat back to look at him through her tears.** _

" _ **No…! No! NO!" Toni shouted more heatedly and adding more force behind each punch that she landed against the Corporal's chest. "NO! Darren no! He… He wasn't even in… in active… active duty… He… He… He was just… a… a mechanic… No!"**_

" _ **I'm sorry," he repeated again because he had no idea what else he could say to her right now that might appease her.**_

" _ **No! He… He… He can't be… No!" She shouted almost incoherently as she continued to beat his chest with tightly closed fists with tears freely flowing from her eyes.**_

_**Darren remained silent and sat back slightly to let Toni work out her aggression against his body more easily. Her vigorous verbal protests soon became unintelligible mumbles that he could barely hear or attempt to understand behind her violent sobs. Even after she was no longer able to speak, Toni still continued to punch and slap her old friend's chest with violent, bruising force. He only moved to catch her hands when Toni started to lose momentum so that he could help to keep her from falling against him too hard or roughly.** _

" _ **D-D-Darren… He c-can't b-be gone," she tearfully implored while he gently guided her head to his shoulder.**_

" _ **I know… I know… It was a huge shock for everyone at the base too. I'm so sorry," he quietly replied as he tried to console her.**_

_**Toni pushed back against his chest to look up at him but before she could attempt to ask her next question, Darren added, "Shh… We have all day… We can get into the details later… When you're ready… Let's not rush it, okay?"** _

_**The tenderness in his tone almost caught Toni by surprise, even though it really shouldn't have given their history. He had gotten to know the McNamara siblings very well when he and William had been stationed together while Toni was still in high school. Back then, Darren had been beyond enamored with the youngest McNamara, but she had ignored all of his advances because she had had a boyfriend then they had first met. Darren knew that she was too young to be in any kind of long lasting relationship, so he was content to just bide his time as a close friend to both Toni and William and that notion remained steadfast to this day.** _

_**It was with that sentiment of friendship that he had taken it upon himself to step out of his usual role with the US Army's Military Police to make the next of kin notifications to Toni in regards to her mother and brothers. Although right now he just wished that he could find the right words to ease her pain in some way.** _

_**For a time, Toni had almost considered Darren to be just like another brother to her, which was why she didn't hesitate to break down and show him her rawest emotions and reactions. Now she just stared into his compassion filled eyes and wondered why he would let her direct her wrath at his body. But after staring at him for a while, Toni realized that he allowed it because he truly did care about her, more than she had ever thought possible.** _

_**Darren caressed her cheek gently to brush some of her tears away and Toni fell forward to kiss him almost timidly. He was quick to push her gently back by her shoulders, protesting with a soft tone while he held onto her to make sure she knew he wasn't upset by her actions, "Toni… I'm here for you, but you don't have… I'm not expecting… We can just…"** _

_**His statements were disjointed and got further distracted by Toni slowly unbuttoning the front of his jacket. Once all of the buttons were opened, Toni slipped her hands inside then ran them gently up his chest to his shoulders. Darren just watched her apprehensively because he was afraid that if he moved she would be angered and would resume her more painful treatment of his torso once again instead of this more loving contact.** _

" _ **Please Darren? I just… I can't be sad yet… I want…" She continued working on his military issue belt and pants as she continued, "Make me feel something good… Please? Please Darren? Help me… Feel… Please? I'm just so… so numb…"**_

_**Darren nodded absentmindedly as he watched her nimble fingers go to work as she fell silent again. Once Toni was done unfastening all of the buttons and zippers of the Corporal's uniform, he sat back to get a good long look at her to double check where she was mentally at this point in time. Toni moved up his body with a cat-like grace to kiss every inch of flesh that she could find until she had blanketed his body with her own.** _

" _ **Please Darren?"**_

_**He nodded with more self-awareness this time and then swiftly stood up off the bed. Toni flopped down against her pillows with a confused scowl on her face directed straight at him beside her bed. Darren smiled wryly then stepped over to her closet and pulled out two hangers for him to use.** _

" _ **Everyone at the base would understand if I return with makeup streaks on my jacket," he explained as he carefully hung his jacket and pants and watched Toni haphazardly discard her clothing onto the floor. "But wrinkles would be much harder to explain away. I hope you don't mind."**_

_**Toni slowly slipped her panties off then sling shot them at Darren's face replying, "I don't mind at all Corporal, so long as it gets you back in my bed…" Neither of them moved and just stared at each other as they panted with anticipation before Toni added, "And naked soldier."** _

_**Darren couldn't help but laugh at her comment, but he was silenced when Toni laid back on her bed to make sure that she was on full display for him.** _

_**He took a couple of steps forward, now clothed in only his boxer briefs as he politely asked, "Toni? Are you…?"** _

_**She sat up to pull him down on top of her. While she handed him a condom, she huskily instructed, "Make me forget Darren… Even if it's just for a little while… Please…?" Her tears of sorrow returned as he plunged deep into her, causing Toni to shout out, "Please Darren! Please… Make me… Oh… Feel… Feels so good!"** _

_**Darren held her close to his chest, secretly hoping that Toni had fallen asleep because this day had been beyond his wildest dreams and he didn't want anything to ruin it. He had honestly only wanted to comfort Toni in her time of need, but he had never thought that she would turn to sex as a measure of reassurance. She didn't seem to move at all as he pressed himself against her back so that he wouldn't fall off of her twin sized bed, so he assumed she was asleep and just relished in the memories that he had just created.** _

_**Once her tears hit the back of his hand that was covering both of hers, Darren squeezed Toni in his arms as he heard her whisper, "He's really gone? I've… I've lost him too?"** _

_**The Corporal hugged Toni close even after she turned over to tuck herself against his side as he answered, "I'm so sorry Toni… Will always tried to be careful… For you and for Tara, but…"** _

" _ **Oh God! Tara!" Toni gasped while pushing back on his naked chest. "He… He… Will was… Oh God! She… How is…?" Toni questioned through a new onslaught of tears.**_

" _ **Shh… She wasn't at home… She's still in D.C. but… You don't… Shouldn't worry about that right now."**_

_**Toni went quiet except for a few stray sobs that escaped her lips. "Wh-what d-did the Co-Colonel de-decide to do? H-How s-soon is th-the f-funeral?"** _

_**Darren rubbed her back and kissed her head replying against her hair, "I don't know... They hadn't been able to notify him by the time I left the base."** _

" _ **The Colonel doesn't know? So… So that means… I… I…" Toni started to cry harder against his neck but still managed to finish her thought, "I can't plan it all on my own… I can't do this… It's… It's too much."**_

" _ **Shh… You aren't on your own Toni. Why don't you try to sleep and then we'll try to formulate a plan together once you've rested?"**_

_**Toni nodded against his chest, but she didn't fall asleep right away. As she continued to cry against his flesh, Darren gently stroked her hair while whispering words of encouragement against her head. He continued running his fingers through her hair even after he had confirmation that she was asleep. He hadn't planned on spending the night with her, but Darren relaxed completely once Toni was asleep and soon followed her into dreamland.** _

_**He awoke with a bit of a start and didn't really remember where he was until he felt Toni's hair tickle his nose. He squeezed her tightly as she quietly asked, "Do you have to leave soon?"** _

_**She rolled over to face him again as he stole a quick glance at the clock. "Not right away, but yeah… It'll be sooner than later."** _

" _ **I wish we didn't have to leave this bed," Toni commented forlornly before pulling herself up to kiss him.**_

_**Darren tangled his fingers in her hair then rolled her onto her back replying, "We don't have to yet… That is if you wanted to maybe… Again…"** _

_**Toni cupped his buttocks then pushed his mid-section down saying, "Oh God… Yes… Yes please!"** _

_**He tried to roll off the bed to get cleaned up after this round of love making was over, but Toni had intertwined her legs with his to trap him in his place. "I like having you between my legs."** _

_**Darren laughed uncomfortably because he was sure now that this love-nesting that Toni had going on over the last few hours had nothing to do with him really, she just wanted a distraction from the real world right now. He knew that he should feel hurt, that he should feel used, but he couldn't bring himself to take it personally. In a weird way he was just happy that she had been able to find some sort of comfort in his arms. But despite all of that, he still had other responsibilities for work that he had to tend to, especially if he wanted to remain employed.** _

_**Every time he tried to untangle himself, Toni would tighten her hold on him. Since he didn't seem to be able to beat her, he decided to join her… Kind of. She went completely pliant under his lips and hands and just when she thought that he was geared up and ready for a third round, Darren quickly stood up off the bed and swiftly retrieved his underwear and started getting dressed.** _

" _ **I'm sorry Toni, but if I want to keep my job, I have to get back," he explained without turning to face her for fear that it would only take one look from her to break his resolve again.**_

_**He had his pants and undershirt on when he felt her touch his arm to help him into his jacket. "And I need to pack," she replied as if she was having to remind herself of that fact.** _

_**She moved around him to pull on a pair of sweat pants and an oversized sweatshirt while he finished dressing and ensured that his uniform looked just as crisp as it had the day before. "Uhh… By the way… Umm… Thanks for… You know… Uhh… Being the one to tell me… I don't think I could have handled hearing it from a stranger."** _

_**Darren held her hand as he retrieved his hat from the floor saying, "It's the least that I could do… I'm just sorry that we couldn't have reconnected on better terms."** _

" _ **Maybe next time we will." As she walked him to the door she attempted to light-heartedly joke, "I mean it's not like I have another brother that can die or anything."**_

_**Before she opened the door, Darren squeezed her hand tightly and almost reprimanded her but Toni smiled tearfully and added, "I didn't mean… I just…"** _

" _ **I understand," he cut in affectionately. As he stepped out of the room, Darren placed his hat on his head then turned back and held Toni's face in both of his hands. Her sad eyes seemed to still be looking for reassurance, so he leaned down and kissed her softly. When she reciprocated with a painful whimper of need, Darren prolonged his embrace and hesitated breaking it to continue on with his day. He pulled back reluctantly then moved his lips to her ear whispering, "Call me when you get back to town, okay?"**_

_**Toni nodded then they forced themselves to turn away from each other. She pulled her bag out from under her bed and let a couple of guilty tears fall as she started to pull her clothes out of her wardrobe because she knew that that was the last night that she was going to spend in that bed. She didn't plan on ever returning to Stanford, but she didn't have the heart to tell Darren or anybody else that just yet.** _

"Sam…? Sam…?" Toni whispered trying not to disturb Bobby while they all searched through Bobby's library for anything they could find about Leviathans. "Sam?" She called out once again with a tiny bit more volume.

When Sam finally made eye contact with her, Toni nodded towards the kitchen then got up and walked out of the study. She didn't notice that Bobby had been watching their exchange and was chuckling silently to himself. Bobby couldn't help but give Sam a questioning look, but all Sam could do was shrug in reply because he had no idea why Toni was trying to be so secretive right now.

Toni was squeezing the juice from a wedge of lime into her rum and coke and Sam could instantly see that her hands were shaking fairly hard. He watched her in silence trying to figure out what she might have on her mind, beyond the crazy stuff that all of them had witnessed lately. With a still shaking hand, Toni took a large gulp out of her glass while looking out the window behind the sink.

As she added more rum to the mixture, Sam called out softly, "Toni…? Are…? Are you okay?"

Toni was shaking her head while guzzling down her drink before saying with a tone of uncertainty, "Sam I need… I kind of have a weird… Umm… Question… If that's okay with you…"

Sam sat down at the kitchen table turned command post central and gently grabbed her hand to pull her close. Toni almost sat down on his lap, but quickly changed her mind and sat on a chair on the opposite side of the table. She was staring at the table top, so Sam took a drink from her glass to keep himself quiet and to keep himself from rushing her.

He choked slightly then exclaimed, "Holy shit Toni! That's practically pure rum! You should warn a guy."

"Yeah… I guess I'm… Uhh… Kind of nervous…" Toni answered with an uneasy laugh before gulping down a couple more mouthfuls.

"Toni," Sam offered encouragingly as he took both of her hands in his. "You don't have to feel nervous… You know that you can ask me anything. Just take your time."

Toni looked up to his eyes and they both seemed shocked that a couple of tears escaped out of her eyes. "It's… It's something that demon said…"

Sam froze and went rigid in his place and then he ground his teeth together and nearly growled as he said, "Crowley? Crowley said something to you…? Fuck I knew that I should have stayed downstairs… What lie did you tell you about me?"

"You…? No… No Sam he didn't say anything about you," Toni clarified with mild guilt in her tone. "He… Shit… Umm… It's just that… When you were…? Is there any way to find out if…? Umm… If Alex and Will are still in Hell right now? I mean when you were there did you see…? Uhh… Sense them at all?"

"What? Why…? Why do you ask Toni?"

She let Sam pet her cheek then she took his hand in both of hers replying, "Well… The demon… Err… Uhh… Crowley… He told Bobby and me that I would be proud of my brothers' high pain tolerance in the afterlife. Doesn't…? Doesn't that mean that they're in Hell right now? I mean there's no pain or torture in Heaven, right?"

Sam got up to move his chair beside her so that he could be sure that she knew he was there to comfort her and that no unauthorized ears would hear their conversation. "Toni I'm more than positive that they aren't in Hell. That's just Crowley's way of getting under your skin so that you'll be too preoccupied of unsavory thoughts of them to fight."

Toni nodded, knowing that what he was saying was the truth, but she still couldn't help but wonder out loud, "But they… They could be, right? They… They were both… Umm… They both killed people… Doesn't that mean that they could be…? Umm… Sent to Hell?"

"They didn't… They weren't… Okay, maybe they killed people, but they weren't murders… They didn't do it for fun…" Sam tried to explain even though he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say. "Dean and I have killed people and when we were murdered we went to Heaven."

Toni pushed back on Sam's chest tearfully asking, "You…? You were…? Murdered? When the fuck did THAT happen?"

"Oh… That… Umm it was like… Geez… Three years ago now?"

With a self-conscious chuckle Toni more calmly replied, "Well I think Chuck should get his ass in gear and publish the rest of his books or else I'll never know the whole truth about my boyfriend when he has a memory as spotty as yours."

Sam pulled Toni onto his lap so that he could hold her close to him while repentantly explaining, "I would have told you about it, I swear… But we've been… We're dealing with so much shit right now…"

He paused when he felt Toni laugh against his neck. "When did you getting killed and going to Heaven fall into the 'Not As Important As' category?" Sam shrugged then Toni bit back a sob so that she could more seriously ask, "So really? You don't think that Alex and Will are being tortured in Hell right now? You really do think that Crowley was just lying to me?"

Nodding his head emphatically, Sam pulled Toni's head to his shoulder and rocked her gently answering, "I'm sure of it… But we might be able…"

He cut himself off at hearing the fridge door open. Dean hadn't noticed them before he not so quietly grumbled to himself, "How are we almost out of food again? And beer?" He popped the top off his beer and almost politely said, "Oh hey guys, I didn't see… Shit… I'm interrupting something aren't I? Sorry."

Toni stood up and dried her cheeks slowly while replying, "It's fine Dean… It isn't anything that can't wait a bit longer while we put together a grocery list."

She stepped out of the room to get a pen and paper, so Dean quickly asked his brother in an unwavering serious tone, "Dude?"

"She's right Dean, it can wait…" Sam answered without taking his eyes off of Toni's path. Once his eyes landed on his brother, Sam swiftly added, "Honestly Dean, it can… But I'll explain it all to you later, alright?"

Dean didn't get a chance to answer because Toni had re-entered the room announcing, "Bobby's only requests were pork chops and for me to get all of the fixings for a meatloaf…" She looked up from her notepad and could tell that she had disrupted the Winchesters' discussion, but she was confident that she had been the primary topic of conversation, which she was more than happy to put an end to, so she just continued asking, "Sam do you have any special requests?"

"Could you grab enough stuff to make your famous 'shit-mix salad'?"

Toni blushed briefly answering, "I'm sure that that could be arranged…" She opened the fridge then stole a glance over her arm at Dean and apologetically offered, "I can just make a list of everything that I need and you could still go shopping solo if you wanted."

Dean shook his head saying, "Oh hell no! You are not getting out of trekking to the grocery store that easily! There's no way in hell I'm doing that alone!"

Toni's smile brightened and seemed to be more sincere, so Dean added, "I'll just go get cleaned up so I don't embarrass you at the Supermarket."

Toni was reading over her list so she didn't notice that Sam was approaching her and jumped a little when his arms encircled her waist. "Hey… You holding up okay?"

She nodded replying, "Yeah… I think having a project is helping to keep my mind from focusing on all the other shit right now. But that… I mean… It's not that I don't want to talk it all out with you, but I guess it could… Should wait until there's a longer lull in the action and all."

Sam kissed her cheek softly agreeing, "That sounds reasonable to me… So…? How's the list coming along?"

"Well so far I have beer, pork chops, ground beef… Extra lean for you and me… Beer, ground chicken, lettuce, beer, steak, whiskey, potatoes… Oh and…Umm beer."

She looked up at Sam then said with mock innocence, "What? I'm just trying to make sure that I'm playing to my audience… And my strengths, as few as they are in the kitchen."

"To your audience you say…? You sure about that?" Sam questioned with a quirked eyebrow and his arms crossed securely across his chest.

Toni turned her eyes away from her notepad and pouted at Sam apologetically. He didn't move or change his stance, so she stood up on her tip-toes to kiss him, but he didn't lean over or bend down in any way to make up the difference between them so that her lips could connect with his. Toni then stood up straight and tall and mirrored the look she saw on his face as she wrapped a foot behind his knees. Neither of them broke eye contact, even when Toni grabbed his arms to keep her steady so that she could kick the back of his knees to force him to bend over slightly.

Once he was at a more manageable height, Toni grabbed Sam's face and kissed him until he stood up to break the embrace and then she explained, "I don't know what's in season right now, but I'll be sure to grab some vegetables too… They're my top priority."

Sam blushed unconsciously as he admitted, "So long as you didn't forget about me."

Although she knew that the teasing was meant to be light-hearted, Toni could feel a large lump growing in her throat as she replied, "Never Sam… I've never forgotten about you."

At the end of her statement, she quickly turned and left the room so that she wouldn't break down in from of him again. Dean caught the tail-end of the exchange between Toni and Sam and when he saw that Sam was visibly upset, he chose to try to ease some of the tension in the room instead of razzing his brother more by saying, "If I have to eat nothing but salad while you and Toni are trying to kiss and make up, I'm going to put you in a coma just so that she'll go back to making real food like meatloaf again."

Sam scoffed indignantly but softened his facial features slightly when he saw the playful smirk on his brother's face. "Well, you know… It wouldn't kill you to eat a vegetable every once in a while."

"Hey, they put that shit on my burgers… I eat vegetables," Dean retorted with a hearty laugh as he left the house.

He was still laughing quietly as he approached the Impala, but he became very serious when he got into the car and saw Toni staring intently at the screen of her laptop. He wasn't sure what she might be researching and by the look on her face, he wasn't sure that he knew how to break the tension that he could feel mounting like he could with Sam, so he decided not to try and just started the engine without a word spoken.

Toni closed her laptop when she heard the purr of the engine and after it was carefully tucked away under the front seat, Dean caught her smiling mischievously out the windshield to herself.

"Is everything alright with you Toni?" He finally asked somewhat cautiously.

"Yeah, everything's fine," she replied turning to look out of the passenger side window. "But… I think I finally found an apple pie recipe that even I can't screw up."

Dean gave her a side-ways glance with a suggestive smile, so Toni playfully punched his arm defensively explaining, "Hey, if I'm going to remain the household chef, it's only fair that I learn to make each of your guys' favorite dishes. I'm just trying to be fair Dean… Don't be such a girl and go reading into it too much."

Dean pulled a paper bag out of the trunk and when he saw Toni give him the stink eye for not carrying more, he shrugged saying, "I already told you, I'm more than happy to lug around anything that I'll eat… You can have fun toting those leafy things around."

Toni laughed heartily as she reached for two plastic bags tucked into one corner quietly retorting, "Nice one Drama Queen, you forgot the beer before making your dramatic exit."

She entered the grim atmosphere of the kitchen and immediately dropped her jovial demeanor at hearing Sam say, "It's a lead Dean."

Toni remained solely focused on unloading the bags they had brought in up until she heard Dean state authoritatively, "Sam, you're in the middle of a psychotic break."

She tried to catch her boyfriend's eye, but he avoided doing that by looking between his laptop and his brother reasoning, "It's a couple of hours drive Dean… And it could be a Leviathan thing."

"Nah… I'm not leaving you here alone…" Dean retorted as he straightened up from reading the article Bobby had found and turning away from the two other hunters.

Bobby walked around the table to his computer, passing Sam a piece of paper and jumped in defensively saying, "Hey! What am I? Chopped brains on toast? I can eyeball the kid. Go… Work off some of those nerves on something useful."

Dean looked between them and almost threw up his hands in exasperation as he conceded with a gruff sounding, "Fine."

Toni stepped up beside the eldest Winchester and passed him a cold, opened beer to him offering, "I'll keep an eye on the guys for you… Hey, how 'bout I whip up something for us to eat while you pack?"

Dean took a long swig of beer then pointed the beer bottle's neck at the two other men replying, "Thanks Toni… See? Now you two could learn a thing or two from Sam's lady friend about how to treat someone when you're trying to persuade them to help you."

Toni rolled her eyes because she had already told Dean how he hated being considered too feminine and lady like or being called any "girly" names, so she couldn't help but utter an annoyed, "You better get to packing Winchester or it's beet salad for dinner."

He quickly wrapped his lips around the bottle's neck and fled the room as fast as his feet could take him without tripping. Sam appeared at Toni's side and started unloading the bags of groceries with her. Since she was still trying to get acquainted with Bobby's house and kitchen, she let Sam finish the unpacking while she got to starting their meal. Bobby remained somewhat amused by their antics, but tried to make it look like he hadn't taken his eye off of his computer during their exchange. That was until Toni pulled a glass out of the freezer, filled it with whiskey and placed it by his left hand.

Before returning to her previous job, she leaned over and whispered into his ear, "I've got everything covered here so long as you promise to fill me in on what's going on with the tall one later."

Bobby barely moved his head as he picked up his drink took a large gulp then winked as an affirmative reply. Toni then moved back to the counter to and shoed Sam away when she saw that he was trying to put away some of her dinner supplies. He quickly retreated to his spot at the table then he and Bobby exchanged overly amused smiles before getting back to their work as well.

Soon after night had fallen, Sam started to absentmindedly scratch at the bandage covering his left palm. Toni had claimed Bobby's seat at the table after he had vacated it to work on something outside and kicked Sam under the table scolding him, "The more you pick at it, the longer it will take to heal… Not to mention you increasing your chances for infection."

Sam paused then grumbled with a slight whine, "But it's fucking itchy."

Toni looked over then kicked him again to get his full attention. His eyes nearly turned to fire as he glared at her, but she was up on her feet without replying and tugged on his good hand to try to get him to stand, but Sam remained stubbornly in his place. She stared him down and clenched her jaw and glowered at him with her own incensed stare which got Sam to his feet in an instant.

Once he started following her, Toni softened her exterior as she explained, "If it's itching that bad, it could mean that an infection is trying to set in. Unlike Dean, I prefer using peroxide to properly clean a wound… Plus that way we can conserve the whiskey for drinking."

Upon her explanation, Sam followed more obediently. As Toni started to remove his bandage, he kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Thanks Toni, I appreciate you looking after me."

"So…" She started as she freed his wound from its binding. "What Dean said to you earlier…? Is…? Have things gotten worse than was we've talked about already?"

Sam hissed loudly as the peroxide hit his palm and wasn't really able to speak until Toni placed his hand under a stream of cold water. "No… No it hasn't really gotten any worse."

"He… Uhh… Lucifer's visits…? They aren't any more frequent are they?" She questioned hesitantly as she gently patted his wound dry. "Because the frequency can be just as important as the intensity when gauging the severity of hallucinations… Or so I've read."

Sam became somewhat mesmerized while watching her wrap new white gauze over the ugly stitches his brother had sewn into his hand as he distractedly answered, "No… No they haven't really changed much… That's just Dean's way of dealing with my… Uhh… Situation."

Toni finished dressing his wound then held his cheeks resolutely saying, "Good… Because you and I are doing the whole talking about our feelings and shit now so… I'd feel really stupid if it starts to become one-sided… And the truth is… I worry… about you… a lot Boyfriend, so please don't hold anything back from me, alright?"

"I know, I know… If things change between Lucifer and me, I promise, you'll be notified immediately." Sam could see that Toni wasn't impressed by his response, so he took her hands from his face and squeezed them saying, "I promise that I will… I mean if my girlfriend is pissed off at me then my life could get pretty damn miserable, right?"

"Right… It totally means that you won't be getting laid," Toni reaffirmed with a chuckle then followed up with a soft kiss on his lips. "But I think you need to try to stay on your brother's good side too… I don't want him to feel left out…" Sam stared at her dumbly, so she clarified, "I'm pretty sure that's your phone I hear ringing… Who else would be calling you right now?"

Sam jumped up off the toilet then rushed out of the room without responding to retrieve his phone. Toni calmly cleaned up her supplies then started to move towards the kitchen, but she paused when she noticed that there were a few droplets of blood by the bathroom sink. She was really concerned about Sam or any of them getting infected by any viruses because she knew an illness would severely delay their work, so she focused on cleaning the majority of the bathroom before doing anything else.

When she finally made it to a doorway adjacent to the kitchen, it looked to her like Sam was having a heated argument with someone. Given his tone of voice she could have easily assumed that it was his brother that Sam was yelling at, but she could distinctly see that there was no one else in the kitchen or the study right now and that he was no long on his phone.

Bobby stepped up to her side and gently gripped her bicep saying, "It's just part and parcel of what Castiel did to him."

Toni looked up at him with terror in her eyes, but she couldn't find her voice to reply. "I know Darling… It's a lot to take in, but we'll get him through it."

"Yeah… Right… Right, we will," she finally managed to respond. She stole another glance at Sam and couldn't help but jump when he started shouting louder and more furiously at no one. "But I just… I… Not right now…" She mumbled as she backed away from the doorway towards the stairs.

She instinctively retreated to the bedroom to grab her phone and call her dad to get some advice from him. As she went to hit his speed dial button, she caught a quick glimpse at the time. She silently cussed herself out for not noticing how late it had gotten and then she chuckled sadly because she knew that meant that she was finally getting used to the Winchesters' schedule. She wrapped both of her hands around the phone and rested her forehead against her knuckles trying to get her emotions in check.

When she felt like she had achieved that goal, she moved to place her phone on the nightstand. The red flashing indicator light made her heart skip a beat and the small voicemail icon nearly caused her to cry happy tears. Her hands trembled slightly with excitement as she dialed into her voicemail and she held her breath when she heard her father's voice.

" _Hey there Angel. I know our phone date isn't until tomorrow, but something's come up and I have to reschedule… And before you worry… It isn't anything bad… I've been invited out to… Well… Shoot… I'm going out on a date… And I'll give you a moment to stop laughing before I proceed…_ (He paused then took a deep breath.) _Alright… Well, I should let you get back to your work. Call me when you get a chance. I love you Toni and I'm so proud of everything that you've accomplished. Keep up the good work and send my best to the boys and Bobby. Hopefully you're keeping them all in line… I'll talk to you soon Angel. I love you."_

Somehow all it took was hearing her Dad's voice and Toni was able to completely center herself again. But she figured this new feeling of calm had more to do with being distracted with disbelief that her father was going out on a date than it did with actually being somewhat at peace with what was happening to Sam. She then reminded herself that she had to call him as soon as she could to find out what was going on in the Colonel's life right now to keep from remaining distracted.

Bobby was just finishing a phone call when Toni made it back down to the kitchen, so she remained silent to find out what she had missed. After he had the phone and thrown it back on the table, Bobby turned to Sam explaining, "Well either Sheriff Mills is having an Obama-Care insurance opium dream or something's eating folks at Sioux Falls General Hospital."

Bobby grabbed his jacket off his chair then hesitantly said, "Look… I don't want to bruise your ego or anything but…"

"No… No, no, it's okay," Sam interjected quickly. "Go, go, go… I'll… I'll watch the phones."

Toni caught Sam's eye and her feelings of uncertainty flooded back with brutal force, but she didn't address them and just asked, "Hey Bobby? Since Dean was sure that the Leviathans were making their way up here… Umm… Did you want some back up?"

Before answering, Bobby stole a look at Sam's reaction to her question and could see that something was bothering him, but Sam gave him a tight smile with a nod, so Bobby replied, "Sure… Since I don't know what the Sheriff was in the hospital for, why don't you follow me in your truck just in case we have some heavy machinery to deal with?"

"Okay, great! I can do that! I'll just run up and grab my jacket," Toni exclaimed happily nearly lunging forward to hunger the older man.

Sam and Bobby exchanged another sad look after she hurried out of the room and then Sam slowly followed Toni's path upstairs. She had gotten into the same habit as the Winchesters of packing a bag whenever they left Bobby's house to do anything but grocery shop, so Sam found her placing the few things she had unpacked into her bag when he got up to the room.

"I could stay if you wanted me to," Toni offered without pausing her hands or turning around to look at Sam.

Sam stepped up behind her and placed a hand on each of her hips replying, "That's okay. Bobby really could use the back up."

After zipping her bag closed, Toni turned around but didn't make eye contact with Sam. "So… Just now…? That's…? Umm… That's what been happening to you?"

Sam stroked her hair gently and she finally lifted her eyes to his face as he answered, "No, that isn't what usually happens… But I guess after losing Cas and not sleeping properly… I must have kind of lost it… Well at least my ability to keep my anger in check that is… It's just been so frustrating… I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I've… I've never seen you that mad before… That… That's what freaked me out the most I think… You… you looked like you could kill someone with your bare hands," Toni explained in a timid voice.

"Do you want to know the truth?" Sam asked while almost shying away from maintaining eye contact with her. Toni swallowed hard then nodded slowly. "Most days I kind of feel like I could do that… And not going out on hunts is kind of making me even more antsy."

Toni closed her eyes then apologetically replied, "Right… Of course you would be… Okay… Alright, I should go catch up with Bobby…" As she turned back from picking up her bag, Toni set her shoulders then resolutely stated, "If you need me to come back, I'm just a phone call away."

"I'll be fine," Sam replied dismissively.

Toni grabbed his arm then more forcefully said, "Sam I mean it… You aren't doing this alone… If you need someone to be here with you before Dean gets back you better fucking call me, understand?"

He kissed her softly on the lips and as he held her against his chest he replied, "Completely… I promise I'll call… But you're right, we shouldn't leave Bobby waiting."

After they had both parked, Bobby and Toni met at the entrance of the hospital and decided to split up in order to cover more ground faster. They agreed on a rendezvous point for when either of them found the Sheriff and then rushed into the hospital to head their separate ways.

Toni wasn't sure if Sheriff Mills had told Bobby what ward she was on, so she bee-lined straight for the first desk that she could find with a nurse stationed behind it. As she approached it, she bit her lip and tried to coax some tears into her eyes.

"Miss…? Are…? Are you okay?" The nurse questioned with undeniable concern.

Toni sputtered out a breath then tearfully replied, "M-my s-s-sis… S-sister was ah-ah-admitted… I… I need to f-find her."

The nurse placed a comforting hand over Toni's that was resting on the counter then serenely asked, "Well you're in the right place Sweetheart… What's your sister's name?"

"Mills, Ma'am… Jodie Mills," Toni more calmly answered.

"Alright… Let's see here…Okay… Here she is… Room 136." She looked up and gave Toni a bright smile then pointed down the hall behind the 'distraught sister'. "Just follow that all the way down to the end, turn right and follow that hallway to your sister's room."

Toni gave her a hesitant smile replying, "Thank you so much."

"It's my pleasure Sweetheart; I hope your sister will be okay."

After a polite nod, Toni turned on her heel and hurried down the hall. She checked over her shoulder a couple of times to ensure that she wasn't being watched then she dried her cheeks on her sleeves as she rounded the corner. The room numbers were much higher than she had anticipated, so she started sprinting to make up ground quicker.

Not long after she had broken into her run, Toni saw Bobby round a corner down at the other end of the hall before he quickly slipped into a room. Toni then slowed her pace to a comfortable jog in order to keep from attracting too much attention to herself.

Bobby was helping the Sheriff into a wheelchair when she got into the room. As she closed the door, he looked up at her and saw her slightly puffy eyes and worriedly asked, "Toni, are you okay?"

She smiled brightly then swiped her fingers under her eyes to make sure that there was no longer any moisture leaking from them. "Just the easiest way I know how to get information without having to give a lengthy explanation." She stepped up to Sheriff Mills and extended her hand saying, "It's a pleasure to meet you Sheriff Mills… I'm Toni."

The Sheriff shook her hand weakly then Bobby pulled Toni aside and quietly instructed, "Okay, you go get your truck and pull up out back. While you take the Sheriff home, I'm going to do a little investigating here."

"Bobby? Are you sure that's safe?" Toni swallowed hard then blushed under Bobby's steely glare then repentantly said, "I'll just go get my truck and meet you out back Sir."

As she turned away, Bobby reached out and gently grabbed her arm. "I'll be fine Toni. Don't worry about me Darling."

She nodded then gave him a tight smile before saying, "I'll meet you outside in a bit."

Bobby came out the door pushing Sheriff Mills in her wheelchair just as Toni pulled up to the curb. Before she could attempt to get out of the vehicle, Bobby was opening the passenger's side door and was helping Jodie into the truck.

"Bobby Singer, my hero," she teased weekly before she sat down in Toni's truck.

He chuckled softly then replied, "That's the roofies talking." Once she was settled in her place, Bobby looked into the cab of the truck to say, "Give me a call once you've got the Sheriff settled, okay?"

"Yes Sir," Toni replied immediately with a soft smile.

The drive to the Sheriff's house was quiet because Jodie drifted in and out of sleep the entire way there. Once Toni finally navigated them to her house, she got out to help the Sheriff walk up the pathway. They moved slowly and the injured woman had to take a few minutes to find her keys in her purse. Although Toni wanted to try to hurry her so that she could get back to help Bobby, she forced herself to remain patient.

While she fought with the lock, Jodie asked, "So how do you know Bobby Singer?"

"Oh… Well I'm friends… Actually… I'm dating Sam… He… Uhh… He helped you back when you… Uhh…"

"Right, the tall one… He helped me with my 'situation'," the Sheriff cut in solemnly. "So have you been doing this job long?"

"Not as long as they have," Toni answered as she helped Jodie into bed. "Just a few years now."

Sheriff Mills nodded softly against her pillow and seemed to instantly fall asleep. Toni sat with her a little while longer to make sure that she wouldn't get restless, then she placed a bottle of water beside her bed along with a stack of crackers and her bottle of pills. She lingered for a moment, not really knowing how to say 'Good bye' then turned and retreated to her truck.

As she walked out to her truck, Toni tried calling Bobby to check how he was doing, but she only heard his gruff voice on his voicemail saying, _"This is Bobby Singer's direct hotline… You should not have this number."_

Without leaving a message, she hung up and started to make her way to the salvage yard like they had planned. As she drove she tried Sam's cell, but he too didn't answer. She refrained from leaving a message because she was sure that she would be seeing him soon enough to talk to him in person. While she traveled along the empty streets, Toni contemplated calling Dean but figured that a call to him would be met with the same results as the other two men, so she slipped her phone into her pocket to try to just keep her focus on driving.

As she got closer to Bobby's house, Toni's stomach clenched and then started to do nervous somersaults. Somehow over the past few months this feeling of dread had become so common place for the new hunter that she could easily ignore it. Although Toni did turn on her radio in the hopes to further distract her thoughts, but the moment she saw the red and blue lights of emergency vehicle in Bobby's yard, her heart stopped and her ability to remain rational was completely forgotten. She just barely put her truck into 'Park' before throwing her door open to run as fast as she could without even worrying about turning off her engine.

"SAM…! SAM!" She started calling out hysterically as she ran. "Sam! Where are you? SAM!"

When the ambulance came into her view, Toni completely lost her voice, but she just kept running. She was so focused on finding Sam that she missed seeing the Sheriff's Deputy that was trying to flag her down. When he grabbed her arm to try to stop her, Toni nearly flipped him over her shoulder but thought better of it when she realized it was an officer of the law that had taken hold of her.

"LET ME GO!" She screamed while inadvertently spitting in his face.

He didn't loosen his grip as he calmly stated, "No, I can't do that. Now you need to calm down or we'll be finishing this conversation at the Sheriff's Office."

Toni looked from him to the ambulance and contemplated breaking his wrist to get to Sam as she heard him ask, "Do you know them?"

"Yeah," she replied once she had finally calmed down. "He's my boyfriend. Please Deputy, I just need to check on him quickly… Please? Then I'll answer any of your questions or go anywhere you want me to… Please?"

He nodded then closely followed her to the open doors of the ambulance. She could see two stretchers inside and when Sam didn't move at all, she automatically assumed he was dead. Of course if she had of been thinking straight, she would have remembered that a corpse wasn't moved the same way that a patient was in an ambulance. Before she could fall over, the Deputy grabbed her elbow and helped to steady her on her feet somewhat.

Before she could speak, Dean raised his head slightly to ask, "Toni? Is that you?"

"Yeah," she answered confidently. Hearing Dean's voice allowed her to finally shake off her own terror to be strong in front of the elder Winchester. "It looks like you boys were partying pretty hard without me."

Dean tried to laugh but winced from the pain instead before saying, "Sorry, we tried to wait for you to get back, but one of Cas' 'buddies' showed up to get things going."

She saw the knowing look in Dean's eyes, so Toni took in a deep breath to make sure that her voice wouldn't quiver or waiver when she talked. "You don't say… Well Cas' friends can go a little overboard sometimes… I'll go find Bobby and make sure he's been taken care of then…"

Dean nodded then looked over at Sam and flopped back on his stretcher. Toni remained cemented in her spot and the Deputy had to pull her away so that the Paramedics could close the doors and drive away.

After she took a step back, Toni quickly regrouped then turned to the Deputy asking, "Alright what questions did you need to ask me? And…? Can we make this quick? It looks like my boyfriend might not make it."

Toni knew that Sam wasn't going to die, but the look on the Deputy's face was totally worth making the crass comment. He swallowed hard then shook his head replying, "No that's okay… You go to the hospital, I'll follow up with you later."


	28. I Wanna Take The Weight

" _ **Oh come on Toni, you don't even have to buy a new outfit or anything… You can just borrow something of mine… I swear," Vanessa nearly pleaded as she tried to keep up with her roommate's rapid pace on the busy sidewalk back to their dorm room. "And… And you wouldn't even have to stay late…"**_

_**Toni juggled the pile of text and notebooks in her arms replying with an unsure, "I don't know Vee… I still…"** _

" _ **But you can leave early! Just… Just make an appearance with me… Please? I'll even spend the night a Brandon's so that you can work on your paper afterwards," Vanessa cut in hoping that she could wear Toni down with her persistent arguments.**_

_**The books in Toni's arms shifted so much that she was forced to stop so that she could reposition them in order to keep them from falling to the ground. Vanessa took that as her opportunity to pester her roommate with an unending chorus of, "Please? Pretty, pretty please?" Toni groaned at feeling her resolve start to break and found that she couldn't handle looking at her best friend when she finally did cave in to Vanessa's demands.** _

_**Toni took in a deep breath, but before she uttered a word, her eyes focused on something about a block down the walkway and she dropped every book that she had been holding with such care at her feet like they were yesterday's trash. Toni did manage to mutter an almost inaudible "Oh… My… God…" before she took off running down the sidewalk at full speed, leaving Vanessa in her spot just staring at the mess that had formerly been known as Toni's (oh so) important research.** _

_**He was just standing in his place feeling increasingly frustrated as he consulted his map of the campus yet again. He was fairly certain that he had found the right parking lot this time, but he couldn't for the life of him find the sign that Toni had told him to look out for to signal that he was at the building that housed her dorm room. He shook out the map, grunting with pure agitation and was just about to crumple it up and throw it in the garbage so that he could pull out his phone and admit defeat by calling Toni when he thought he heard someone call out his name.** _

_**He only had a split second to drop his duffle bag while simultaneously bending his knees to crouch slightly in order to brace himself before Toni launched herself off the ground and landed in his arms. She circled her legs around his waist and pulled herself as close to his body as possible by wrapping her arms around his neck.** _

_**He had to chuckle at the fact that he managed not to fall over backwards under her momentum as she said into his neck, "You're here! You're here! You're really really here!"** _

_**Vanessa watched Toni in a stunned silence because Toni ran faster than Vanessa had ever witnessed in the past towards some guy she didn't recall ever seeing on campus before. Once Toni was in the mystery man's arms, Vanessa eyes wandered to her feet and she groaned loudly thinking** _ **I guess I'll be cleaning up this mess then.**

_**She begrudgingly went to her knees and started to gather up the loose leaf papers that had scattered every which way when one of Toni's binders opened on impact with the concrete sidewalk. Once she thought that she had them all gathered up, Vanessa tried to straighten them enough to put them back into the three rings of Toni's binder. At first she had tried to check that the papers were all in numeric order, but only a third of them were actually numbered, so she hoped that Toni would be satisfied enough that she had been able to find all of the pages even if they were in a random order.** _

" _ **Coming to the party is the LEAST she can do to thank me now," Vanessa grumbled quietly to herself as she forced the pages over the rings of the binder.**_

" _ **Vanessa? Did…? Did you say something?" A kind male voice questioned from her left side.**_

_**Her helper had all but one of Toni's textbooks in a neat pile on the grass and was passing her a stack of papers he had gathered from the boulevard as she replied, "Oh… Sorry… It isn't important. Really don't worry about it… But thanks for your help Sam."** _

_**He took her by the hands to help her to her feet and passed her half of the book load saying, "It's no problem, I'm happy to help." He then bent down and picked up the rest of Toni's books. Once he was standing, he threw the reunion happening down the block a sad look and then swallowed hard before asking, "So…? Uhh… Vanessa…? Who's…? Who's that guy that Toni's with?"** _

_**Vanessa shook her head and didn't try to hide her dismay as she answered, "I have no idea… Maybe a guy she knew in high school?" She paused then caught a glimpse of the sad look on his face and tried her best to tease him saying, "Either way I think that you might have some competition for her affection there Sam."** _

_**Toni made herself comfortable on her brother's back after he slipped his duffle bag back onto his shoulder asking with a giggle, "Sorry… Are you okay with giving me a piggy-back Alex?"** _

_**He chuckled replying, "I'm good Chiclet. I just finished a training stint in the desert… I don't think that you weigh quite as much as my survival backpack… But you know Freshman Fifteen and all…"** _

" _ **Al-Ex," Toni sighed out with exasperation as she slapped his chest before almost tearfully whining, "Play nice."**_

_**He laughed louder then tugged her forearm a little too forcefully. Toni quietly shrieked and he teased her by repentantly saying, "Sorry Chiclet, I needed to double check that you were actually still up there." He then caught a glimpse of the scene Toni had left behind and recognized the binder Toni had been using since the eighth grad asking, "So? Who's tall, dark and handsome over there with your roommate cleaning up the books you just dumped on the ground?"** _

_**Toni didn't question her brother knowing what Vanessa looked like because she had shown him some of the programs from Vanessa's plays and pictures of the two of them together, but it did take her a couple of minutes to figure out who else he was referring to. Once she had the answer, she squeezed her arms around his neck to give him a hug then replied almost dreamily, "Oh… That's Sam."** _

" _ **Sam?" He questioned with a tease. "And Sam would be like your…? Boyfriend?"**_

_**Toni kicked one of her feet and her heel landed hard into his gut just above his belt buckle. Alex huffed out a large "Oomph", but never broke his stride before cautioning, "Hey! Watch it there sister!"** _

_**Toni moved her face closer to his ear so no one would have a chance to overhear her as she threatened him in a low, severe tone, "Keep it up big brother and I'll make sure you'll be limping for a week with little to no chance of fathering grandchildren for the parental units. You know that I don't have a boyfriend like I used to back… home."** _

" _ **TONI! Seriously? You keep saying that this paper is SO important and then you just dump everything on the ground? What the hell?" Vanessa called out once the McNamara's were closer to where Toni had dropped all of school work.**_

_**Toni released her hold around Alex's waist and as she dangled from around his neck she cautioned with almost the same severity as before, "Behave Big Brother or I SWEAR you'll live to regret it."** _

_**Alex didn't get a chance to reply because Sam was hesitantly passing Toni her textbooks saying, "I… I think that… Uhh Vanessa got the rest of your notes for you too…"** _

_**Toni was still smiling brightly as she tugged Alex forward and passed him the books that Sam had in his outstretched hands. "Thanks so much guys! Alex come here… Take these… OH… And I want you to meet my roommate…" Vanessa cleared her throat loudly with an annoyed scowl on her face. "And best friend in the world, Vanessa and this is Sam… He's my Crim study-buddy."** _

_**Alex shifted the pile of books into the crook of his left arm so that he could extend his right hand towards the two people he was being introduced to as Toni tried to finish, "Vee… Sam… This is Alex…"** _

_**As he turned to shake Sam's hand, Vanessa caught a flash of the name "MCNAMARA" across his Army issue duffle bag in black block letters and she couldn't help herself from excitedly exclaiming, "Your brother? This is really the Alex McNamara? Your big brother Alex?"** _

_**Toni chuckled with a shrug as she reclaimed her books from her roommate almost shyly replying, "Shh Vanessa! He might get the wrong idea and think that I've been talking him up or something if you say shit like that."** _

" _ **Hey!" Alex objected half-heartedly as he hooked an arm around his sister's neck saying, "I'm shocked! Where on Earth did you learn such filthy language like that young lady?"**_

" _ **I learned it from you Dipshit!" Toni replied while socking her brother in the stomach hard enough for him to release her with a genuine look of pain.**_

_**Alex straightened himself out then chuckled saying, "Damn, you got me there. So…? I've finally found this place and I'm starving, who's up for some lunch?"** _

_**Vanessa and Sam watched the brother and sister interaction with cautious smiles on their faces while Toni enthusiastically replied to Vanessa and Sam, "I am! Let's dump these off at our dorm room and then lunch is on Alex!" He gave her a wounded pout causing Toni to quirk an eyebrow while saying, "You owe me Alexander… Do I need to remind you about Nicole?"** _

_**Alex quickly wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders saying, "Right! Lunch is most definitely on me… Who's hungry?"** _

_**Toni somehow convinced everyone that their local college pub would be the best place to go even if Alex wasn't afforded a chance to change out of his Army fatigues. Once the four of them were settled in a booth and had their meals ordered, Alex pushed a few bills across the table pleading, "Annie…?"** _

_**Toni kicked Alex full force, no holds barred, under the table in the shin resulting in her brother whimpering loudly before he managed to compose himself so that he could more politely question, "Toni, my loving little sister, could you please go over to the jukebox and save us all by putting on some good music? Pretty please Chiclet?"** _

_**Vanessa instantly noticed the intense look that wanted to make its home on Toni's brow and hoped that she was going to be able to diffuse the situation or at least keep it from getting worse by offering, "That looks like a good chunk of change Toni, why don't I help you find something the boys will like?"** _

" _ **Sure… Thanks Vee… We'll be back in a few," Toni slowly stated without taking her eyes off her brother.**_

_**He easily heard her silent threat of "** _ **You fuck this up with Sam and I'll see to it that you never get laid again"** _**even if the other two people at the table only saw her steely glare. Once the two ladies had moved away from the table, Alex noticed a distinctive shift in Sam's demeanor and he didn't think that it was only because he was Toni's older brother.** _

" _ **Your family in the service?"**_

_**Sam stared at Alex for a second before he found his voice so that he could answer, "My Dad was in the Corps before I was born."** _

_**Alex could sense Sam's unwillingness to completely relax and he stole a quick glance at his sister when he thought that he had everything figured out. "It's hard to get that training out of your head… Always yelling orders… How many miles did your dad make you run before class when you were in high school?" Sam's eyes grew wide and shot up to Alex's face as if Alex had revealed a secret that Sam had thought he had hidden away from everyone. Alex chuckled at Sam's reaction then added, "Will and I had to do at least three miles… Toni was only expected to do two because she's a girl… But let me guess, she still runs at least three miles five times a week, right?"** _

" _ **At least," Sam replied with a soft laugh and visibly relaxing in his place. "But that's only when she isn't completely stressed out trying to keep her grade point average up."**_

_**Alex smiled behind his beer commenting (mostly to himself), "That's my little sis."** _

_**Alex was somewhat surprised that he was able to convince Vanessa to not only give up her bed for the night (she didn't let on that she had planned to sleep elsewhere already), but he also had her agree to attending "The Party of the Semester" without the youngest of the McNamara clan as well. Alex and Toni each took their turn in the bathroom and then they settled on their sides just staring at each other in the dark. Even though they could hear each other breathing, neither of them seemed to be willing to be the first one to break through the calm that had settled between them.** _

_**Toni laid there just listening to the in and out motion of her brother's breathing and when she could tell that Alex wasn't sleeping, she asked the darkness, "So? What do you think of them?"** _

_**Alex rolled onto his back even though Toni couldn't possibly see the dramatic pause or the tenting of his fingers over his chest, she could feel it as he replied, "I can see why you and Vanessa get along so well and why she's so important to you… She definitely keeps you from being a total nerd." Toni huffed indignantly as she rolled over so that her back was facing her brother. She knew that he couldn't see her rejection, but she still felt triumphant none the less by her act of defiance. "And Sam… Well… Chiclet he seems…"** _

_**Toni forgot about her hostility and flipped over so she was facing her bed that Alex was sleeping in for the night saying over him, "He's awesome, right? He's really helped me see the grey areas of the life instead of just the black and white. He makes seeing things from all sides SO much easier. It's just like how Kory's helped me understand my Statistics courses… I swear I would be failing right now if it wasn't for Kory's help… OH! And! Yo hablo Español! Well thanks to Javier I don't sound like a total idiot in class… Oh and Max… He's being telling me some cool stuff about the different types of law to practice…"** _

_**Alex unconsciously curled his body into a soft ball before attempting to ask (while somewhat regretting everything that he had ever said to his sister about love and relationships), "And these GUYS…?" He cringed at his emphasis on the word 'guys'.** _

" _ **They're friends of mine that I met here at school. We hang out, study together… You know…?" Toni instinctively shrunk back in the dark then added, "I'm not using sex to make them help me with my school work or anything Alex if that's what you think. I'm not a complete Bimbo… Hell I haven't even slept with Max…"**_

_**Alex was beyond grateful that the room was too dark for Toni to see him as he squeezed his eyes shut so he could force his tone to remain steady as he replied, "It's not that Toni… I just… I'm just… I'm glad that you've been able to make some good… Umm… Friends here at school."** _

_**The word 'friends' seemed to carry more than a little weight behind it than Toni had thought Alex had meant to, but she let it slide, at least for tonight. She was just want to be happy that it was the weekend and that she had caught up on all of her class work so that she would have one full day that she could spend with her brother and really didn't want to fight with him at all. Even after she heard his soft snore in the distance, Toni remained awake with excitement while she planned out the activities she could do if Alex was feeling up for it on Sunday morning.** _

_**After their mother's funeral, Alex volunteered to drive Toni back to school. He had managed to extend his leave by a couple of weeks, more so due to their father's rank in the military than it did with the nature of the traumatic events with their family, and he was more than happy to spend that extra time comforting his sister. Will had planned on meeting them in California so that the three of them could properly mourn together, but he got an urgent message from his base and Toni insisted that he go back to Everett immediately in ordered to keep himself from getting into any trouble.** _

_**During the ride back to Stanford, Toni alternated between crying quietly against her arm and sleeping, but absolutely refused to eat whenever he stopped. Alex was able to get her to drink, so he tried sneaking in some vitamins and other nutrients that way, but he still worried about Toni's potential for losing a significant amount of weight and becoming ill. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to stay with her at school forever to monitor her eating habits, so every time he stopped to gas up, he called Vanessa to update her and to enlist her help with taking care of his sister. She was more than happy to promise to do whatever she could and even made herself scarce before they returned to the dorm to keep from overwhelming her distraught roommate upon her return to school.** _

_**Even though she was weak and her limbs felt heavy, Toni insisted on walking to her dorm on her own with no assistance from her brother. Alex followed closely behind her with both of their bags on his shoulder, watching her in case she stumbled at all. He kept his commentary to a minimum because the truth of the matter was that he had no idea what he should say to her right now. He felt the same pain that she felt and he knew that nothing anyone could say could ease his heartache, so he didn't try to pretend that he could magically make her pain disappear either.** _

_**They had returned to the campus during the day and both of them were more than grateful that the hallways en route to Toni's room were pretty much deserted. She had been able to compose herself enough to keep from crying as she walked from her truck to her room, but there was no hiding her pink puffy eyes that screamed out to the world that she was in pain. She hesitated slightly at the door and then she took a deep breath and pushed it open. Alex followed while breathing out a sigh of relief that he instantly regretted because as soon as the door was closed, Toni broke down completely again.** _

_**Alex dropped their bags then scooped Toni up into his arms and slipped on to her bed with her held in his protective embrace on his lap. He rocked her gently while whispering against her hair, "We're going to make it through this Toni... I promise you that we will Chiclet, we'll make it..."** _

_**She took a couple of shaky breaths then quietly asked, "Alex…? Would…? Would you be mad if I said that I wanted to take a nap?"** _

_**He couldn't help himself and chuckled as he replied, "Not at all Chiclet. I'm fine with whatever you need."** _

_**They both got off the bed at the same time then separated to opposite sides of the room. Alex busied himself with their bags until he heard Toni shudder loudly before succumbing to a new onslaught of tears. When he turned around to check on her, he gasped out a quiet "Shit" as he watched her fall to her knees in front of her dresser, nearly smacking her forehead on the open drawer. He quickly fell to his knees as well to pull her against his chest so that he could try to console her. She didn't turn to hug him like she normally had in similar situations in their past, so Alex forced himself to open his eyes to see why that change may have happened.** _

_**Toni didn't really seem to notice that her brother was still in the room, let alone holding her, until Alex tried to gently pry the t-shirt she was holding with a white knuckle grip out of her hands. Her sobs were instantly silenced when her eyes finally locked with his concerned gaze, but her grip didn't seem to loosen at all.** _

" _ **I… I… I thought that… Umm… That I gave him back all of his stuff," she explained while holding up the oversized men's t-shirt as if Alex would completely understand what she meant just by showing him the garment.**_

_**This time when Alex tried to take it from her, Toni let him without protest as he asked, "Chiclet? Is…? Who's…?"** _

" _ **Sam's," she answered through a whisper while diverting her gaze.**_

_**Seeing her reaction to the shirt still being in her room with her other clothing told Alex that his sister was no longer 'with' that 'not boyfriend' anymore and he didn't dare ask her for any confirmation. Instead he just picked her up and put her on her bed. She rolled over onto her side to face him as Alex knelt down beside her bed and took one of her hands in both of his and kissed her knuckles gently.** _

_**They stayed like that for a few minutes and then tears started to silently roll down Toni's cheeks as if she wasn't even aware it was happening.** _

" _ **Alex? You know how they say that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?"**_

_**He rose up on his knees so that he could dry her cheeks with one of the many tissues that he had stuffed into his pockets before their journey answering, "Yeah Chiclet I know that saying. Why do you ask?"** _

_**She took the tissue from Alex without making it seem like she wanted to push him away so that she could blow her nose and then she more forcefully said, "Well whoever said it is an idiot because that's all fucking bullshit. I wish that I had never met him now. They couldn't have lost anyone that they truly loved because it hurts too fucking much to believe that." Alex had no idea how to respond to what Toni was saying so he remained silent and tried not to move so that he wouldn't spook her. "He… he met someone else… They're happy and in love… They'll live happily ever after together… Whatever… It doesn't really matter," Toni finished almost defensively before she rolled over and started crying silently until she fell into a deep sleep.** _

_**The next day neither of them brought up the revelation that Toni made when they first got back to campus. Alex stuffed Sam's shirt into his bag while Toni was sleeping without telling her as his way of showing his silent support to her. He even went to his grave with the secret that his sister had confessed about giving her heart to a man that she thought that she could never share a life with in the future, but he always regretted not telling Toni to just forget everything that he had spouted off about when it came to relationships and to just tell Sam the truth about her feelings.** _

Toni remained stationed in the chairs that the doctor's had led her to after she had helped them to complete Sam and Dean's admission's paperwork. She balled up Sam's jacket in her lap and willed herself not to cry as she held it to her face to breathe in his scent because she knew if she broke down now that she wouldn't be able to recover quickly. The doctor wasn't able to give her much information about her fiancé (Toni had slipped on the engagement ring she had inherited from her brother before going into the hospital hoping that it would make it easier for her to get information about Sam and possibly Dean's conditions), but the doctor did promise to come and find her when and if he had any updates.

With Sam's jacket now held tightly in both hands in her lap, Toni bowed her head and closed her eyes then silently prayed, _Lord… Thank you… Thank you so much for giving me a chance to finally have a relationship with my dad and for finally finding the courage to be honest with Sam about my true feelings for him. But Lord…? I know that this might sound really selfish, but… I can't… I don't want to let him go… So please… Please don't take Sam away from me again, not when I just got him back. Please? I'm not ready to be…_

She didn't quite get to finish her prayer because someone tapped her gently on her shoulder. At first she was more than tempted to just ignore whoever it was to finish her one sided conversation with God, but then she realized that it could be a doctor with an update so she slowly raised her head and opened hers eyes while trying to control the look on her face to look less scared than she felt.

"Bobby…? Is…? Is that really you?"

The older hunter smirked at the look of disbelief on Toni's face causing her to blush a bright shade of red before sheepishly saying, "Sorry… Sorry. But in my defense, I don't think that I've ever seen you without your hat on… Or in a suit… You look very handsome."

Bobby's smirk morphed into a devilish grin as he replied, "Well I always try my best not to make the boys look bad, especially in front of a beautiful woman… But speaking of… Do you know where they've taken Sam to?"

Toni's nodded then bit her lip until she was certain that she could answer his question without crying and could keep an even tone, "They were able to stitch up the gash on his head easily enough in the Emergency Room and then they took him upstairs for a CT scan and some other tests. They seem pretty concerned because he's still unconscious, but… Oh damn… I don't know what floor they were going to."

Bobby offered her a sympathetic smile when he could tell that she was trying her best to maintain a brave front in spite of the pain that was evident in her eyes. A tear escaped out of one of her eyes and he quickly brushed it away from his thumb then replied, "Alright, I'll head up there to get him then… Now, I need you to go to your truck and had out to our rendezvous point. If we aren't there in twenty minutes, you leave, get as far as you can and don't look back, understood?"

"But…" Toni started to protest before she was instantly stopped by the look in Bobby's eye. "I mean… Okay, yes sir. Twenty minutes then I fall back…"

He then helped her to her feet, but completely refrained from hugging her right now because he wanted her to be able to maintain her stoic exterior and was worried that that kind of intimacy would cause her to break at this moment in time. She squeezed one of his hands as a silent plea for him to stay safe and to save Sam then turned to leave before her resolve could crumble under her sadness. Bobby watched her walking away and shook his head knowing that the hardest part of his day wasn't even close to being over, but he felt relieved that she hadn't fought him about her leaving all the same.

Toni got a few feet away from him before she stopped abruptly and turned all the way around to face him again. Bobby prepared himself for a new argument, but Toni just quietly asked, "Uhh… What about Dean…? Do you…?"

He smiled then replied, "Don't worry about him. He's on his way out right now."

She just nodded softly then forced herself to turn and leave again. Bobby stayed in his spot to watch her and make sure that she followed his wishes without any further delays. As she continued down the hallway, Toni put on Sam's jacket and hugged her arms around herself without pausing at all as she walked. For a brief moment Bobby thought that she was finally going to break down in the middle of the hallway, but to his pleasant surprise as she continued down her path it actually looked like she was finding new strength by wearing Sam's clothing.

It took all of Toni's strength of will not to check the clock every two minutes to see if Bobby's twenty minute time limit was up yet or not. She slowly turned her wrist knowing full well that the ten minute mark had passes what felt like a lifetime ago just to see if her worst fears had been realized. Once her watch face was turned, she hesitantly opened her eye without even noticing that she had been holding her breath. As her eyes moved to check the time something in her side view mirror caught her eyes and completely distracted her from looking at her watch.

She crouched down low behind the steering wheel, tucking her knees under the steering column until she was sure that she wouldn't be visible to any cars that would pass on the road. Without taking her eyes off the mirror, Toni slowly snaked her right hand between the two front seats and behind the passenger seat to retrieve her handgun from the pouch on its seat back. Once she had a firm grip on it, she extracted the firearm at an almost excruciatingly slow pace to hopefully keep from alerting anyone in an approaching vehicle of her presence. The image in the mirror was still so small that it was basically a blur, so Toni decided to reposition herself so that she could move herself into a more natural position in the driver seat. She watched the approaching vehicle out the corner of her eye as she sat up and reclined her seat back to lay down against it as if she was just having an afternoon nap. From this vantage point she could cross her arms over her stomach to hide her gun and lower her lids to make it look like she was sleeping while also being able to keep both eyes on the mirror.

When the vehicle came into view Toni pushed out the breath that she had been holding during her repositioning through her lips like a hiss. She didn't sit up, but she did relax a bit thinking that the ambulance was going to just pass by her truck. She waited for it to pass with her eyes closed, reminding herself to take in slow cleansing breaths, but when she didn't hear it drive by, she sat up straight and turned in her seat to look for it on the street.

"What the fuck?" She questioned to herself as she watched it straightening out on the shoulder of the road behind her truck and parking.

The driver's side door opened and Toni felt herself instantly go on high alert. She expected to see the legs of someone in a standard issue Paramedic's uniform, but instead she saw the legs of someone, most likely a male, in a somewhat crisp looking charcoal grey suit.

"What…? The…?" Toni started to slowly question again until the driver closed the door.

She took in a long slow breath to calm herself and then she slowly opened her own door to ease out of her truck. The driver didn't seem to be at all concerned about her or her pickup, so Toni kept her gun hidden, but quickened her pace so that she could catch him before he could make his way over to the passenger side. Luckily for her, she was used to keeping pace with men nearly a foot taller than herself, so she was able to cover the ground between the two vehicles fast enough to catch him.

Toni grabbed his left arm and spun him with her gun poised for a clear shot between the eyes once he was finally facing her. She didn't lower her firearm but she did gasp out a surprised, "Bobby? Shit… Fuck… An ambulance? You couldn't find a more conspicuous getaway car?"

Bobby rolled his eyes then motioned to his intended end point with his free arm answering with an overly tired sigh, "Just go and make sure that Dean doesn't fall on his face while I go and try to get Sam into your truck, okay?"

Toni desperately wanted to ask how Sam was doing, but Bobby just turned to walk to the rear of the ambulance so she slipped the gun into her belt before running over to meet up with Dan. When she got to the open door, she completely overlooked the crutches to stare wide eyed and open mouthed at the bone white, thigh high cast on Dean's leg.

With her eyes solely trained on the plaster engulfing Dean's right leg, Toni quietly exclaimed, "Oh… My… God…"

"Wow… But no… You can still just call me Dean," he teased as he struggled with the crutches as he closed the door.

Hearing the door slam shut seemed to help Toni to snap back to reality before she said, "Yeah… Yeah, you're fine. But here… Let me grab this door for you."

Toni let Dean stumble and fight to walk upright from the ambulance to the passenger's seat in her truck before she offered any further assistance to him. He didn't so much as ask for any specific help as Toni just held the door open and grabbed the crutches from him, but Dean didn't offer any objections at all. Once he was working to make himself more comfortable, Toni could see the raw pain on Dean's face and she wasn't quite sure how she should react. She wanted to keep from making everything from becoming too overly "touchy feely" and awkward, plus she and Dean never seemed to be able to speak at the same frequency, so she just moved to the back of the truck with the crutches to toss them in one of the lock boxes before checking on Bobby's progress with Sam. Toni was mostly just hoping that if she kept busy that she would keep herself from saying the wrong thing right now or from making an off color joke that would make things worse.

The passenger's side door of Toni's pickup closed easily, hiding Dean away from everyone and Toni couldn't help but smile and sigh that at least he was somewhat safe. _One down_ she thought to herself as she tried to keep from thinking of how horrible it had been to see Sam unconscious on the cot at Bobby's house after all of them had gone up against Castiel and tried to stop the deluded angel just before he was possessed by the souls from Purgatory. He had looked so peaceful and vulnerable at the same time and she wasn't sure if she was ready to see him like that again so soon.

Her eyes traveled from her truck back to the ambulance and then she thought she had come up with an idea. She ran to the driver's side to slip behind the wheel and turned over the engine before Dean became aware of her presence. He didn't seem to think much about her being behind the wheel until the truck started moving.

"Toni?" She didn't seem to hear him, so Dean grabbed her right arm then more insistently said, "Toni! We can't just leave them behind! I can't let you run away again right now. You can't desert them here."

After she completed the U-Turn, Toni stopped her truck then scowled at Dean answering, "I'm not running away Dean. I just thought that it would be easier to move the truck to Sam than it would be to wheel him over there. God… Is…? Is that what you really think of me?"

She didn't wait for his answer before getting out and stomping towards Bobby. He looked over at her smiling as he praised, "That's a brilliant idea Toni. But why don't you pull it over closer for us?"

Toni shook her head and climbed through the open door of the ambulance saying, "No… I'll start packing up some of these medical supplies while you pull it around…" She balled her hands into tight fists over and over then hit her thighs adding, "I haven't punched him yet, but I can't promise that I won't if I go back there now."

"Oh… Okay… Supplies… Right, I hadn't thought of that either. Great idea Darling."

He paused to watch her for a moment because Toni wasn't bagging up anything out of the small cupboards that lined the interior walls of the ambulance. Instead she was seated beside Sam's stretcher, holding one of his hands in both of hers while she stared down at him despondently. He felt sort of guilty watching the intimate scene as she leaned over and kissed Sam's forehead, but he couldn't seem to force himself to move. As she sat up, Toni brushed away a tear of hers that had dripped onto Sam's skin then spoke so softly by his ear that Bobby couldn't make out any of the words. She then kissed Sam's hand and stood up to do what she had told Bobby she would do and Bobby finally turned to do the same.

Dean didn't move and still had his eyes squeezed closed when Bobby took a seat behind the wheel, but Dean's apparent pain did nothing to squash Bobby's rage as he asked, "What the hell did you say to that girl in the two minutes that you were alone together that would piss her off that much?"

The younger hunter rolled his head on the back of the seat to look at Bobby but he couldn't manage to give the other man anything but a blank look. "Don't you dare give me that innocent, I did nothing wrong look Dean. I don't know Toni as well as I know you and Sam, but it don't take a genius to know that you said something to royally piss her off, so out with it! What did you say to her?"

Bobby now had the truck parked so that he and Toni could easily maneuver Sam's dead weight into the back bench of the truck's cab, but he made no moves to leave his spot. Dean still tried to give Bobby an almost innocent look to which Bobby offered a simple and very annoyed, "Dean?"

"Alright… Alright… I…" Dean replied while completely avoiding eye contact with Bobby by picking at the threads fraying from the slit on his jeans by the cast. "I… I scolded her saying that we couldn't leave you two behind while she ran away again."

"Dean," Bobby sighed while making his name have at least three syllables instead of the usual one quick breath.

"What?"

Bobby slammed the palm of his hand against the steering wheel nearly shouting, "DAMN IT! Damn it all to hell Dean!" The man to his right jumped slightly in his seat at Bobby's outburst, so Bobby tried to take a couple of deep breaths before saying, "How could…? Damn it… Dean look at her! And I mean look real close at what she's doing right this second…"

Dean arched his neck to look into the back of the ambulance as soon as Bobby finished speaking. Toni was holding a plastic back in one hand while she tossed gauze, tape and anything else that she could grab with her one hand into the bag she was holding in her other hand. He wasn't sure what Bobby was hoping he would see so he just sat back in his seat and shrugged without committing to any specific commentary.

Bobby checked over his shoulder and saw Toni doing the same thing, but he knew that he had noticed something about her behavior that Dean had overlooked. Although Toni was trying to fill the bag with anything that she could get her hands on because she thought it would be helpful down the road, she wasn't actually looking at where she was pulling things out of the cupboards. Instead, Toni's eyes only saw Sam. She was keeping her gaze on him as if he might disappear if she wasn't looking at him and would only glance away from him for a millisecond when she had to so that she could open a new cupboard to empty.

"How do you not see it?" Bobby asked almost sounding like he had given up and wasn't even addressing Dean anymore. Dean leaned over and tried his best to see what he was sure that Bobby wanted him to see as the older man tried his best to explain, "Dean how do you not see how much saying something like that would hurt her to hear? Toni has lost everyone that she loved and depended on while she was growing up. And up until earlier this year she he had no one that she could trust her life with, hell she didn't even think that she had any family that she could fall back on. Do you think you might be to relate to that at all?" Dean swallowed hard but Bobby wouldn't be dissuaded by Dean's discomfort while he made his point. "And then Sam and her Dad come back into her life… She's had to work damn hard on rebuilding those relationships… AGAIN does that you remind of anyone?" Dean didn't nod, but Bobby could tell by the chagrinned look on Dean's face that he had pretty much made his point crystal clear. "Good… I'm glad that we're finally on the same page. So now you're going to have to figure out a way to apologize to her Dean." The younger man tried to interrupt so Bobby more forcefully said, "No Dean! She found a way to extend an olive branch to you when she bit your head off so you damn well better think of a way to apologize to her for being such an insensitive ass! Toni loves Sam and if you can't accept that… Well then that's your problem to fix, not hers!"

Before Dean could say anything else, Bobby got out of the truck to help Toni move Sam. They had a brief discussion then Toni climbed out of the Ambulance and Bobby passed her all of the filled bags while he stayed as close as possible to Sam's side. Dean could tell that Toni must have been upset because she didn't just close the doors on the metal locker style doors of the storage unit in the box of her truck; she was slamming them shut causing the whole pickup to shake before she locked them. When she was done banging around in the back, she threw the two driver's side doors open and then slid onto the rear bench seat.

Without turning in his seat, Dean tentatively said, "Hey… Toni…"

She didn't acknowledge him in any way and just leaned over on the seat yelling, "All set Bobby!"

"Toni…" Dean tried again.

"Not… Now… Dean…" She nearly hissed before getting up onto all fours to the backseat. As Bobby started to lift Sam into the truck, Toni's demeanor completely softened as she worriedly said," Be careful Bobby. We don't know how bad all of the damage is yet."

"I swear I'm trying Toni, but he ain't light, you know that," Bobby gritted out as he fought with Sam's dead weight.

"I know… I know… I didn't mean it like that Bobby… I'm sorry… Really… Okay, well would it be easier to do this if I got out and helped you?" Toni asked while taking all of the heat out of her tone.

Bobby managed to get most of Sam's torso into the truck before he stopped to reply, "That's alright Toni… I think we can do this if you tug while I push, okay?"

"Ten-four, I can definitely do that."

The two of them struggled for a bit and after a colorful slew of cussing and cursing from Toni, Sam was safe inside the truck with Dean and Toni. Toni shifted around until she was finally comfortable with Sam's head laying in her lap. Before getting behind the wheel, Bobby went back to the ambulance to move it deeper into the long grass in the hopes that they could somewhat cover up their escape route.

Dean sat in an uncomfortable silence while listening to Toni whisper words of love and support to his brother. After taking in a slow, deep breath, he quickly said, "Moving the truck to the ambulance was a really smart move."

"Yeah… I know," Toni replied with nothing but pure disdain in her tone.

Dean flinched at her reply as if she had actually hit him, so he thought that he should try a different approach. "What did you mean when you said 'yet'?"

"What? Yet what Dean…? Fuck… Try making some sense once in a while," she snapped to the back of Dean's head.

He knew that he more than deserved her wrath, but Dean also knew that he really needed to know what Toni was talking about to Bobby because it pertained to his brother so he tried his best to soldier through without becoming upset. "You… you said to Bobby that we… we don't know how bad the damage is… Yet… Call me crazy…"

"Asshole," She cut in just barely over a whisper.

"Or that… Anyway… It didn't sound like you meant for us to wait until Sam finally woke up and all… Do you mind me asking what you meant?" He asked while trying to sound as pleasant as possible.

"Yeah… Actually, I DO mind," Toni answered petulantly.

"Mind what?" Bobby inquired as he started the engine.

Toni blushed slightly because she hated being caught during a childish tirade by Bobby (or her father) and sheepishly replied, "I mind explaining myself to him Sir. Could you fill him in on what I reported to you?"

"You mean about Doc?" He clarified while stealing a glance over his shoulder to see Toni as she nodded shallowly. He shook his head because he didn't want to be in the middle of this quarrel, but he had told Toni that he wouldn't force her to make up with Dean until she was ready. Of course he had forgotten that that meant he would be running interference until she'd forgiven the elder Winchester, but it was a price he was willing to pay… For now. "Doc's an old buddy of Toni's brothers. He's an Army Medic that Toni usually goes to when she's on the West Coast and need to be patched up after or during a hunt with no questions asked. While she was waiting for us to get to the rendezvous point, Toni called him and he's going to have all of Sam's X-Rays, CT Scans and other test results sent to him and then he'll get back to her with his findings. He even gave her some tips for treating the laceration on Sam's noggin to keep it from getting infected."

Dean flipped down his visor to use the mirror so that he could look at Toni during Bobby's explanation. She kept her eyes solely on Sam's face the whole time and only took her hands out of his hair to brush away a couple of stray tears that trailed down her cheeks. When Bobby was done, Dean didn't say anything at first so Toni moved her eyes up to look at Bobby to check if she was missing any non-verbal communication between the two conscious males. While she was cautiously moving her gaze, she inadvertently caught Dean's eyes in the visor's mirror. At first Dean thought that the shared look between them would help him to ease the tension between himself and Toni, but after a heartbeat Toni's eyes narrowed into a scarily stern glare. He could tell that this was a grudge that wouldn't be easily forgotten, so he didn't attempt to remedy it right at this moment in time.

Instead of trying to out glare Toni, Dean just tried to show her is genuine relief and worry in his gaze as he said, "Thanks for taking care of that Toni. I really do appreciate it."

As soon as Dean was finished his statement, Toni replied with enough heat in her tone that it could almost physically burn Dean, "DON'T thank me. I didn't fucking do ANYTHING for you. I did that for Sam… So you can just fuck off."

Dean flipped the visor back up against the ceiling of the cab so that he wouldn't have to look at the fire in Toni's eyes anymore and then slumped further down in his seat. Toni curled her body down and over to kiss Sam's forehead before she somehow maneuvered hers and Sam's positions so that he was further up onto her lap allowing her to cuddle closer to his body and use his shoulder as a pillow. Once she was completely settled, she continued to glare at the back of Dean's head but didn't attempt to throw any other ugly words at him.

Bobby covertly checked the rear view mirror to see how Sam was looking, but he couldn't make it past the angry look on Toni's face. He moved his eyes back to the road then sighed loudly but kept his comments to himself thinking _Balls! This is going to be a long drive._


	29. That Drags You to the Ground

"No… No real changes since the last time we talked… At least none that I can tell," Toni quietly said into her cell phone while completing yet another lap around Sam's bed.

" _Well in all honesty Toni that's actually pretty troubling. I don't see any swelling or bleeding on the brain in any of the scans and even though the gash on his head sounded like it was pretty bad before it was stitched up there's no signs of a skull fracture… Which in of itself is really good… But it all means that I can't think of any good reason why he'd still be in a coma. Has…? Has this maybe happened before?"_

Toni swallowed hard then turned her back on Sam's sleeping form hoping that she could lie more convincingly by not looking at her comatose boyfriend. "Umm… I'm not really sure… But I could check with Bobby to be certain. Umm… Would…? Would that make a huge difference?"

" _Again I really don't know, but if he has a history of these episodes it could mean it's being caused by something else other than the blow to the head. Either way… If he doesn't wake up soon… Well… Okay I know you come to me to stay under the radar so there'll be no questions asked and all about…"_

"God that is really unfair of me to keep doing to you. I'm so sorry for that," Toni interrupted while feeling her stomach churn under a ball of guilt.

Her friend laughed then replied, _"Toni I wasn't trying to guilt trip you and you know that I wouldn't help you out if I minded, but I'm just saying that if he doesn't wake up soon then you might need to take him into the hospital… You might need to get him double checked just in case something's come up that I missed, even if it means compromising whatever mission you're on right now."_

"Yeah… Yeah okay that all makes sense. I'll talk to Bobby and we'll make sure that we do what's best for Sam, I promise. Thank you so much for all of your advice and… Well everything. Seriously, you have no idea how much I appreciate what you've done. Really Doc you're the best."

" _Wow…"_

"What? What? Did you find something on the X-rays?" Toni shouted in near hysterics.

" _No, no those are still clear. But Toni… I… I never thought that I'd hear that again."_

"Hear what? Me being grateful? I do thank people on a regular basis you know."

" _No,"_ he replied with a chuckle. _"No nothing like… It's that tone in your voice. After Will's… Umm… After the last time I saw you, I thought that you had lost it forever."_

"Lost it? What…? What tone are you talking about?"

" _The one you use when you're talking about someone that you really… Uhh… Care about. This guy… Umm 'Coma Guy'… He's reeled you hook, line and sinker, hasn't he Annie?"_

Toni hesitated for a heartbeat, no sure which emotion was going to win out right now; embarrassment at being found out or annoyance at being teased like she had been when she was a teenager again. Before she replied, Toni stopped and turned around which left her looking down at Sam. "Yeah… Yeah, he sure has." When she heard the dreamy tone she was using, Toni quickly added in a petulant sounding, "Clarence.

" _WHOA! Whoa! Warn a guy that you're going to pull that out when you're on speaker phone! The wife and kids still aren't privy to that Intel and I really don't want to shatter the illusion they have of me being suave."_

"Kids…? Like plural? When…? When did you and Jane have a second baby?" Toni sheepishly asked with a hot blush spreading over her neck and cheeks.

" _About two years ago… She had our third a few months ago,"_ he replied with a calm, serene tone that said he knew how embarrassed Toni would feel at not knowing about his family and that he wanted nothing more than to ease that pain.

"What? How did I…? Oh…" Toni sat down by Sam's feet during her revelation. "Maybe if I didn't just blow into town, demand that you fix me up and then take off right after then… Then maybe we could have had an actual conversation by now and I would have found about your growing family. God, I'm so selfish… I'm so sorry Doc. I'm a horrible friend."

" _Hey now Toni… You don't have to apologize. I promised Alex and Will that I'd help them to keep an eye on you a long time ago. If it bothered me I would have just changed my number so you couldn't get a hold of me. I'm happy to help you when I can, you know that so don't doubt it, okay?"_

"And you've been nothing but an awesome friend to me. My… They'd be more than grateful… Really… And… The next time that I'm on the left coast, I promise that I'll come by for a proper visit with you, Jane and the kids before I get all bloodied up."

" _Or you could be more careful and not almost get yourself killed the next time that you're out this way,"_ he tease with a gentle tone.

Toni smiled and fought the urge to cry by lightly replying, "Yeah I guess I could try that too… But this IS me we're talking about, Doc. The klutziness gene is imbedded in my DNA, remember?"

Doc couldn't help but laugh at Toni using the line he had come up with to tease her during her youth. _"Too true Toni… But yeah, a proper visit would be great. Jane would love to see you again and Danni has grown a lot since Will's… Since the last time we saw you. But I'm serious, if your guy doesn't wake up soon; you hurry out and get a second opinion, okay? Promise me that you will."_

"Okay, I promise you that I will… On both counts. Thanks again Doc, you are a complete life saver."

" _I try my best because, let's face it, I can't keep my job if I lose all my patients."_

After Toni had her phone tucked away in her pocket again, she got up and knelt down by the head of the bed. She gently pushed back Sam's hair off of his forehead then placed a gentle kiss on his lips before whispering against his ear, "Please wake up Sam. I really don't know what else I should do to help you. Please, please, please wake up."

Sam didn't move at all except for his constant slow, steady breathing so Toni kissed him one more time then got up off the floor. Before leaving the room, Toni made sure to check that the IV bag was dripping like her friend had explained it should be and even though everything seemed to be working properly, she still didn't want to leave Sam alone.

She finally stepped into the hallway and closed the door as quietly as she could even though there was no one to disturb with the noise. Bobby found her with her back against the door, lightly banging her head against it with her eyes closed. She was taking in slow deliberate breaths, looking like she was trying to keep herself calm while he watched her for a few moments and then he made sure that all of the grime was wiped off his hands and tucked his rag into his back pocket before gently tapping Toni's shoulder.

As soon as he touched her, Toni jumped slightly and opened her eyes. Bobby had a feeling that the news she had just received wasn't the best, so he gave her a sympathetic smile saying, "Why don't we go sit down while you fill me in on everything Doc said? I think we might even have some rum left."

Toni forced herself to smile but only nodded as Bobby took her arm to lead her into the living room. He left her to find a seat while he went to mix her drink. Toni was so dazed that she nearly sat down on the couch by Dean's feet, but quickly diverted her course to the table beside the couch. Bobby was still having to be the go between for Toni and Dean, but given their close quarters, he hadn't had a chance to pull either of them aside to try to knock some sense into either of them. So far he found that if he didn't attempt to force Toni to acknowledge Dean that she would still dish a plate of food for him at meals (although Bobby had to carry it over to him) and the snippy remarks were kept to a minimum between them, which Bobby could live with for now.

He placed the drink he had mixed for her on the table behind Dean as he sat down across from her and then kindly asked, "So what did Doc have to say Toni?"

In preparation of her impending tale, Toni took a large swallow of her drink then said, "He… he doesn't see anything on the scans and stuff that would be of any concern. From what he could tell there's nothing that should be keeping Sam in a coma… At least nothing medically should be…"

Bobby scowled but couldn't reply because Toni continued, "He suggested that we take Sam to a hospital if things don't improve soon."

Dean completely tensed up in his seat, but he swallowed his comments to wait for when he got a moment alone with Bobby to voice his concerns in order to keep from becoming a stronger target for Toni's wrath. Toni didn't let her eyes wander over in Dean's direction by just focusing on her hands that were wrapped around her glass. Bobby stopped himself mid-motion as he tried to reach across the table to take her hand replying, "Toni I don't know if it would be safe for us to take him to a hospital right now."

Toni nodded then quietly said, "Yeah I know, but… Umm… That's the update that I have… I know that it isn't much, but at least now we know the trauma isn't too severe, but we still don't know why Sam would be out and all… And from what I described there's no signs of infection on his scalp, which again is a good sign."

"That's true Sweetheart. Thanks again for having Doc take a look at all of it for us," Bobby offered while finally finding the courage to take Toni's hand across the table to squeeze it as an offer of support.

"It's no problem." Toni stood up abruptly and then announced, "I think I'll go check on Sam again."

Once she was out of the room, Dean twisted around and gave Bobby a look to which the older hunter replied, "Hey, I told you to apologize to her. Until you finally do, you should just get used to getting the silent treatment from her."

**********************  
            Later  
**********************

"Do you really have to go? Can't I do this for you?" Toni asked with her arms crossed over herself to hug her torso tightly while hoping that she wouldn't have to beg Bobby to stay because she didn't want to left alone with Dean.

Bobby shook his head opening his driver's door replying, "I'm not just getting that part we need to fix the stove, I also need to talk to a few people to find out what they've found out for us. I know you're pissed off at Dean and you have every right to be, but I can't not do this because…"

"We have to find out more about the Leviathans," Toni finished for him with a meek, somewhat apologetic tone. "I know that you do but… Umm… Drive safe okay?"

Bobby ran his palm over the side of Toni's head then cupped her cheek replying, "I'll do my best. Now you… Just… Don't kill him before I get back, okay?"

Toni laughed sadly then replied with a sarcastic smile, "I'll try my best."

When Bobby got the phone call that prompted his somewhat hasty retreat from the cabin back to the real world, Toni had been in the middle of making lunch so once she got back inside she returned to doing just that. Dean tried to keep his movements to a minimum to keep Toni from noticing him and almost held his breath while she worked in the kitchen. Now that Bobby wouldn't be around, he figured that if Toni couldn't see him then she wouldn't have any reason to get mad at him. For the most part, Toni was content to just pretend that her boyfriend's brother didn't exist, but she knew that his injury had rendered him almost completely immobile, so she figured that it would be cruel of her not to bring the plate of food she had fix over to him now that Bobby wasn't going to be around to do it for her.

Dean tried his best not to show his disappointment when Toni placed his dish on the coffee table, but she caught his long, almost inaudible sigh none the less. As she released her grasp, practically dumping the plate onto the table now, Toni took in a deep breath then said through clenched teeth, "Yeah I know… Vegetarian again, but without a functioning stove my options are fucking limited. If you don't like it then you're more than welcome to play chef." She stood up to turn and look down at his casted leg with an unfriendly smile on her face that he could only see in profile. "Oh… That's right… You can't. So I guess it's either this or you starve."

Before she could turn and walk away, Dean caught Toni's hand in a lax grip. She stared down at where he grasped her wrist then offered him her best steely glare in response to his action. The look that Toni gave Dean seemed to be enough because he quickly released his hold on her and diverted his gaze to the floor. Toni stomped off to the kitchen to get her lunch while Dean remained stationary and closed his eyes as he silently cursed his stupidity.

He listened to Toni nearly hyperventilating as she stared down at her plate and then quietly said, "I'm sorry."

Toni whipped around so fast that she had to catch her plate before it fell to the ground asking, "What?"

Dean swallowed then tried again with a little more volume, "I'm sorry."

"For what? Being an ungrateful asshole?"

"For starters," he replied while visibly flinching. "I know we… You can't use the stove right now without risking blowing this place up or anything, so I shouldn't complain about the meals that you've been making for me."

Toni turned her back on him to hide the shocked look she was sure was on her face and then swallowed hard around the lump in her throat to hoarsely reply, "Bobby should have it fixed in the next couple of days."

She slowly picked up her plate, hoping that she wasn't shaking as badly as she felt like she was, before walking towards Sam's room to eat in relative peace. "And…" Dean called out, stopping Toni in her tracks. She slowly turned to face him as he said, "And for what I said in your truck. I might have been out of line."

 _Shit! Bobby just left and we're going to have THE fight?_ She looked down at her hands and then thought _I should probably put this down so that I don't throw it at him. It would be a shame to waste food._

"Actually I think that it's more like you WERE completely out of line," she replied once her plate was on the coffee table. She gave the couch a long, lingering look but decided to remain standing away from Dean just in case things got too heated between them.

"Yeah, maybe. But Toni you have to admit that from where I was sitting, it did look kind of like you were going to run away."

Her jaw dropped, Toni knew that it did, but she did nothing to try to hide her astonishment before sharply retorting, "Actually I DON'T have to admit that. In fact, I don't HAVE to do anything but eat, drink, sleep, shit and breathe to stay alive, fuck you very much."

"No that's not… Damn it… I didn't…" Dean closed his eyes again and pinched the bridge of his nose saying, "I just… Fuck, I just wish I knew what to say to make it so you don't hate me be…"

"And I just wish I could punch you in the face," Toni commented quietly over the rest of Dean's statement.

Dean's eyes shot open, but the look on Toni's face held absolutely no humor in it at all. He slowly lowered his hand from his face and then extended both arms out, palms up replying, "Well I'm sitting right here, so go right on ahead if it'll make you feel better."

Toni stared at the floor, clenching her fists open and closed a couple of times as she took in a long, deep breath and then said more to herself than Dean, "No… No… Will and Alex always said that you never kick someone when they're down. Only bullies fight dirty like that."

"And you're not a bully…" Dean almost questioned, but made sure to make it sound like a statement when he saw the pissed off look on Toni's face when she looked up at him. "Right, you aren't. Fine. Look… What can I do to get you to forgive me?"

Toni huffed loudly then answered, "You could try genuinely apologizing to me."

"I'm sorry," he stated as humbly as he could. Toni raised an eyebrow as if to ask 'For?' to which Dean stumbled over his words saying, "Umm… For…"

When he trailed off with an unsure look on his face Toni shouted, "OH MY GOD! DEAN! You can't ask someone to forgive you if you don't even know what you're apologizing about!"

They both threw their hands up in exasperation then Dean quipped, "Look, I'm not really that good at this, okay?"

"AND I AM?" Dean swallowed audibly, but was smart enough not to verbalize his next comment. "It's because I'm the girl right? I'm supposed to know what to do here? Well, you're wrong! I'm no better at this then you are, you sexist pig!"

Toni turned on her heel and started towards the hallway, but stopped when she realized she had forgotten to pick up her lunch. Her sole intention of turning back towards Dean was to quickly grab her plate, but then she caught the look on Dean's face. She wanted to talk herself out of guiding him through the apology because she thought that he deserved to suffer for his insensitivity. But she had been working with her dad and his counselor to improve their communication skills, so she knew that she had the ability to fix this and really didn't want to be petty when they were hiding from a monster that had Bobby so spooked.

"Dean… It… It really hurt that after everything… After all of our talks… After I thought that we had become friends… After… Well… All of that you that would think that I would just turn my back on Sam like that when he needs me… Us…" Toni explained slowly as she pulled up a chair to sit by Dean's feet.

"Yeah… I get that now… But for some stupid reason I thought that it was true at the time. I mean after what happened… Umm… After you picked us up at the hospital, you just up and took off in the middle of the night, so I figured that that's how you deal with uncomfortable situations… You know, you avoid them by…"

Toni ran her fingers through her hair and once they reached the back of her head, she lowered her face towards her lap, tugged her hair out from her head and then let out a loud, guttural, wordless scream to interrupt the rest of his reasoning. "I WASN'T RUNNING AWAY!" She got up to her feet so that she loomed over the injured male then yelled, "I WAS JUST GOING HOME TO SEE MY DAD BECAUSE I REALIZED HOW MUCH I MISSED HIM! FUCK! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT?"

Dean shrunk back a bit in his seat, completely wide eyed as he asked, "Realized? What…? What made you realize that you missed him?"

Toni had been geared up for a screaming match, but Dean's calmer question took her by surprise and she stumble back a couple of steps asking, "What?"

"You said 'realized'… That usually means that something happened to cause you to have the revelation," Dean explained hoping that he could keep this relative calm between them.

Toni tried to take another step back, but ended up sitting on the coffee table, effectively blocking Dean's view of the TV. Dean sat forward to grab one of her arms to keep her from falling backwards and then offered politely, "Or you don't have to tell me. It's okay. I haven't earned the right to ask."

Toni swallowed then then shook her head, so Dean quickly added, "Anyway, I'm sorry that I was an ass and thought the worst of you. I know that I was wrong now."

"No…" Toni whispered while still shaking her head. Dean tried to retract his hand but Toni quickly grabbed his wrist then lifted her head up with tears glistening in her eyes. When she realized she was holding his hand in both of hers, she dropped it and abruptly stood up explaining, "Dean… Look… I've been working on it, but I'm still not really good at all of this either." She paused during her pacing then motioned her hand between the two of them then continued, "I'm not really good at talking stuff out and all."

"You and me both," Dean agreed with a relieved sigh. It was progress, so he wasn't going to be anything but positive right now.

Toni couldn't help herself and chuckled admitting, "It's one of the many traits Sam says we share." She took in a long, deep breath then set her shoulders as she tried to explain, "At school Sam always wanted me to talk about my feelings because that's what he always did. I was never good at it… Will was the only person that I was comfortable talking to because he always got what I wanted to say without me having to actually spell it out. Alex… Well he only really like talking about his truck… Anyway because of Sam I found out that I can put my feelings into words… Just not in person… Well face to face is the hardest…"

Since Toni was talking to instead of yelling at him, Dean stayed silent and tried not to move too much. "The whole not talking didn't work for Sam and he really hated it when he woke up alone when he had gone to bed with me beside him, so I had to learn to compromise. Will suggested that anytime I couldn't say my feelings out loud that I should write him a letter instead… So that's what I started to do…"

"Like he did in Illinois," Dean said more as a statement than a question.

"Yeah," Toni answered as she sat down on the coffee table in front of him again. "And like I did before going home… That night. Sam and I have an agreement that it can't be considered running away if the other person knows where to find you."

Dean blinked slowly then said with his eyes still closed, "Which is why what I said was so… hurtful."

Toni was nodding when Dean opened his eyes and paused momentarily when he saw tears welling up in her eyes. Since she was avoiding eye contact, he softly asked, "Toni? Are…? Are you okay?"

She just shook her head as the tears trickled down her cheeks. Before she replied, she laughed sadly but didn't attempt to dry her cheeks at all. "I'm fine." She raised her eyes to Dean and laughed again, more self-consciously at the concerned look on his face saying, "Really, I'm okay. I just forget how much I miss them until I talk about them."

"Your brothers?" He asked cautiously because he didn't want to upset her any more than he already had.

Toni nodded again, sniffled and then quietly said, "Yeah."

Dean didn't really know how to deal with a tearful Toni so he said the first thing that came to mind in a truly heartfelt tone, "I'm so sorry Toni."

After Dean finished his statement, they both stayed perfectly still. An uncomfortable minute passed before Toni finally raised her head again and tried to smile through her tears replying, "Thank you."

Suddenly with those two words the atmosphere seems to feel lighter in the room. They both could visibly breathe easier, but offered each other nothing more than an uncertain smile. They maintained eye contact then Toni tentatively said, "So… Umm… At counseling when Dad and I end up in tears we… Uhh… We usually hug it out… I… I don't really know what to do right now."

"Has it worked for you guys?" Toni frowned with an almost suspicious look, so Dean clarified his question. "The whole hugging thing? Has it been working for you guys?" She blushed then replied with a very quiet "Yeah" to which Dean offered, "Well if it ain't broke…"

Toni stared at him in disbelief, but he just smiled brightly and opened his arms as wide as he could while she asked, "Are you sure?"

Just as Dean moved his had to nod, Toni jumped off the coffee table and wrapped her arms around his torso. Toni let her arms fall gracefully around his waist as she buried her face into the flannel of his left shoulder. Her tears had started to subside, so she took in a deep cleansing breath through the layers of Dean's clothing. She was certain that the breath would help her to relax further into his embrace, but when she was hit with the all too familiar scent of motor oil, Gaultier cologne and male musk, it caused her to shudder into another onslaught of nearly violent tears.

Dean heard her sob and froze for a second then stroked the back of her head softly saying, "Hey… Hey… It's okay Toni… It's okay…"

" _ **Get over here Chiclet! I've got something to show you!" Alex called out just before he hooked his arm around her neck and pulled her in close to his body.**_

_**Toni almost smiled thinking that it would just be one of his usual brotherly hugs, but when she found her face pressed into her brother's arm pit she knew that it wasn't an accident. It wasn't the closeness that bothered her, it was the moisture she felt that served as proof that her older brother had been out in the heat working on his truck for most of the day that she found so offensive. She waited until he stopped walking before she reared her fist back and landed a solid punch into his stomach, making sure that it would hurt. He doubled over taking Toni with him, but she was able to push out of his hold and stand up straight to pant in a few breaths of fresh air, away from the smell of sweat just beyond the layer of Gaultier cologne that clung to all of Alex's clothing.** _

_**As she tried to fill her lungs again, Toni panted out, "I… Fucking… Hate… You."** _

_**Alex laughed heartily, quickly pecked her cheek and then he tugged her hand replying, "And I love you too Little Sister. Now seriously, get your ass over here so I can show you what I've been working on."** _

_**The smile on Alex's face made Toni want to punch him again because he looked so smug, but then it shifted slightly and the only response she could utter was, "Alright Alex… What upgrade did you finish this time?"** _

Dean continued to pet the back of Toni's head, but his words got trapped in his throat as Toni tightened into strong fists around his shirt. She eventually pushed against Dean's chest to look into his face then took in a shaky breath to explain with an embarrassed tone, "Your cologne… It… It's the same that…"

"Okay… Whoa if I'm interrupting something…" a humorous sounding voice commented from the hallway furthest from the couch.

Toni and Dean stared at each other for about two seconds before she practically threw Dean's shirt at his chest. They both turned their faces towards the voice and suddenly Toni was on her feet running towards its source. She leapt into Sam's arms and simultaneously wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Sam was too out of it to control such a maneuver, so Toni forced her weight back a bit to balance them but she didn't release him while Sam tried to find his balance.

Once Sam stopped wavering, Toni clasped her hands on his face to kiss him before replying, "Nothing!" She more felt Sam's uncertain glare than saw it causing her to say "Well nothing that can't wait." Toni felt Sam sway so she dropped her legs and pulled Sam towards the chair that she had vacated a long time ago saying, "Oh… Sorry… You must be hungry… Here, sit and have something to eat."

Sam stared down at the plate in his lap and looked up to protest, but his eyes stopped on the plate sitting close to Dean and asked, "You're eating vegetarian?"

Dean smirked at the shocked look on his brother's face then smugly replied, "What can I say? Toni can be a very persuasive woman."

The extra wagging of Dean's eyebrows caused Sam's jaw to drop in utter disbelief, but he wasn't able to reply before Toni rejoined them. She gently forced his mouth closed to place a soft kiss on his lips saying, "It's actually more of a survival technique. The stove's broken so it's either he eats that or he'll completely starve."

Sam glared at his brother, but Dean continued to just smile brightly as he put a forkful of salad into his mouth. Dean grimaced instantly when the food hit his tongue causing Sam to laugh to himself. He then leaned over, kissed Toni's cheek and squeezed her knee whispering, "Thank you."

She looked up and grinned then once her mouth was empty she instructed firmly, "You need to eat so you can heal. Now eat up Winchester."

Sam smiled, squeezed Toni's knee again then replied, "Yes Ma'am."

*********************************  
         A Few Weeks Later  
*********************************

When Toni opened the door to the cabin, she immediately heard the sound of a power grinder filling the air. She entered slowly and surveyed the room, but after a quick sweep with her eyes, she saw no one in the room but Dean who was standing beside the couch. She waited until Dean raised his right hand and cut the power to the tool before she dropped her two duffle bags with a purposeful, loud thud.

"What the hell are you doing Dean?"

He jumped slightly then looked over his shoulder at the woman standing in the open doorway with her hands on her hips to flash her the signature disarming Dean Winchester smile. His eyes trailed down to the two bags that were now by her feet then coyly said, "Hey now… Is that any way to treat your artillery? A gun could go off pretty easily if you keep tossing them around like that."

Toni stepped towards Dean and waved her hands at the bags replying, "Never mind the weaponry Dean, Casper made sure that they were all stored properly and safely. Now back to my original question, what the hell were you doing with a freaking angle grinder?" Dean wasn't facing her by the time Toni got to his side and when she saw what he was fidgeting with she inadvertently shouted, "YOU CUT OFF YOUR CAST? ARE YOU INSANE?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures Toni… It had to come off," he explained nonchalantly as he sat down on the couch to peel the plaster away from his skin.

"DEAN…! Dean… Stop!" Toni scolded him as she sat down in from of him and tried to still his hands. "Dean! If you take it off now you could fuck it up by re-injuring it or worse. Why…? Why would you do this? Do you liking living in pain?"

He stopped momentarily to lean towards her, causing Toni to swiftly sit up to avoid any uncomfortable physical contact, and pulled out a piece of paper that was almost trapped under her thigh. She took it slowly with a deep frown etched on her face as she unfolded it cautiously.

As she read the note's neatly written message: "BACK IN A FEW DAYS. I'M FINE. SAM" Dean informed her of news that sounded like it was of grave importance, "And he took my car."

Toni looked up at Dean, then her eyes moved towards the door replying, "I saw that your car was gone when I got back, but I… Shit… Shit… Triple shit!"

"Yeah," Dean agreed as he tried without much success to extract his leg from the cast. "And he's turned off his GPS…"

"How…? How do we find him then?" She asked quietly as she put the note back where Dean had found it.

Dean continued his struggle with the cast, so Toni gently stilled Dean's hands once again. This time she took over and tenderly pulled at the unyielding plaster saying, "I'll extract, you explain."

He smiled then replied, "I figure that I'll start at the convenience store he went to yesterday. I can't stop thinking that he must have seen something interesting there because he seemed a little weird… Well weirder than normal when he got back."

Toni nodded then tried to close his jeans over his leg, but gave up when the slit just kept reopening. "When you stand up, make sure you're really careful, okay" She instructed as she moved over to where they were storing their bags. When she turned around with his and her own bags draped over each shoulder, Dean let all of his confusion at this new situation show on his face. "What? You sure as shit aren't going after Sam alone… And I sure as fuck ain't letting you drive my truck with that half healed leg."

Dean scowled and tried his best to grab his bag's strap off of Toni's shoulder, but Toni easily caught his hand in both of hers to stop him. "Please let me help you Dean. I'll just be the driver, wherever you need to go… You can take point on all of the interrogations. Please Dean," She pleaded while maintaining a near death grip on his hand.

They stood there staring at each other then just as Toni was about to open her mouth to continue to beg Dean, he answered, "Alright… Two heads are better than one. Why don't you go pack up your truck while I change?"

She resisted the urge to kiss or hug him and just nodded while calmly saying, "Okay, I can do that. Thanks Dean!"

While she waited for Dean in her truck, Toni called Sam's cell knowing full well that it would most likely just go straight to his voicemail because she needed to try whatever she could to find him. "Hey Sam, I know that you say that you're fine… But I'm not. I'm worried… I'm scared… I… I don't need to know where you are right now, but I really do need to hear your voice. Just a quick call so I can hear for myself that you are doing okay… Please? Please Sam, just one call… And… Be careful."

"So we stop at the 'Gas & Sip' then we drive until we find him," Dean said as he slid into the passenger's seat without throwing so much as a glance at the driver.

Toni stared at her phone for a heartbeat and then shook her head to clear away any negative thoughts that were trying to invade her consciousness replying, "Right gas… Filling the tank up would be more than helpful."

Dean almost asked her if everything was okay, but he couldn't let himself get overly distracted right now. Toni seemed to be willing to compartmentalize and he was more than happy to facilitate that. He half expected her to argue when they got to the convenience store, but she just slipped out of her seat and moved over to the gas pump without a word. When she was done, she was waiting for him behind the wheel when he was finished and remained silent until Dean placed a newspaper on the seat between the two of them.

Toni picked it up and didn't quite get the significance of the article she was reading. Even with her doubts, she figured that Dean had read or seen something that she didn't so she tried her best to just swallow her confusion as she said, "Bozeman… That isn't too far from here."

"Nope, but before we get settled there we have to make a couple of stops along the way," Dean replied as he pulled out his phone and started looking up some information.

Toni opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, but didn't say anything before putting the truck into gear and moving out of the Gas & Sip's parking lot. They, or rather Dean, decided that it would be best for them to split up to hopefully cover ground faster. Dean ended up at the Coroner's office while Toni was assigned the library.

She wasn't entirely certain what she was looking for, but Toni was more than happy to wade through newspaper archives instead of having to deal with dead bodies. She kept the article that Dean had found as a reference of what she thought she should be looking for until she heard back from Dean.

"Is there anything that I can help you with today Miss?" A soft voice asked over Toni's shoulder.

She had found a few recent articles detailing similar incidents (and one about the same death as Dean's article) that their first clue in it, so the Librarian sat down and excitedly said, "Oh! You're looking into our potential serial killer!"

Toni started at her in a stunned silence for a moment then smiled as she confidently answered, "Yes Ma'am. I'm studying Criminology over at W.S.U and I'm making my specialty multiple or serial murderers."

"Oh well then this one should have everything that you're looking for in an interesting case."

Toni gave the older woman a questioning look, so the Librarian took her by the hand to lead her away from the table where she was stationed. Since the library worker seemed ever so eager to show her something, Toni followed her through the gate labeled "Staff Only" without any words of protest. She felt her phone vibrate a couple of times while she stood watching the other woman type on her computer to bring up some files, but she ignored the impending calls or messages to keep from being overtly rude.

Once she found what she seemed to be looking for, the Librarian's face brightened completely under a huge grin. "Here it is… I didn't think I would have deleted this files Miss…"

"Toni," the younger woman answered. This was met with a disapproving frown, so she quickly added, "Sorry… I'm just not used to having to use formalities… We all just use our first names in class and all."

"Oh, of course. Well in that case, I'm Barb. Now come on over here so I can show you this," Barb replied cheerfully.

Toni followed her instructions and slowly moved to a spot behind the Librarian's chair so that she could see over Barb's shoulder. On the screen she could see some scans of what looked like some rather old newspaper articles. She wasn't really able to read any of them because she was only looking at their smaller icons until Barb double-clicked on one of them to make it full sized.

"Lincoln… Like Nebraska?" Toni questioned quietly as she started reading over the article.

Barb stood up and motioned for Toni to take her place on the seat explaining, "Yes. They're from over a decade ago… At that time I was working at the University and all of the students couldn't stop talking about the murders… We all kind of got swept up in the craziness… But the most interesting part about all of it is that they mysteriously stopped almost as suddenly as they started."

Toni was halfway through the fifth article when she looked up and asked, "Just like that? They stopped? No more deaths?" The librarian shook her head then Toni asked, "There were no suspects?"

"None that were ever printed in the papers."

"Huh… And by any chance in the last…? Fourteen years, have you heard of any similar deaths between here and Nebraska?" Toni asked as she quickly clicked through the other scanned articles.

Barb shook her head again then replied, "No… At least not until the bodies showed up here…"

Suddenly Toni had a frightening thought, but she tried her best to keep her fear from showing on her face. She attempted to control her breathing with slow, shallow breaths, but held her last breath to keep from tensing up when the older woman took a few steps to stand behind her and placed a hand on Toni's shoulder. Toni's hand automatically moved to the small of her back and she cursed herself because she had locked up all of her weapons in her truck since she was JUST doing research at the library.

"And I've been trying to do a nationwide search for similar events between now and then to no avail," Barb continued as she squeezed Toni's shoulder.

Toni tensed unconsciously then asked, "What about anyone else that moved here that lived in Nebraska at that time?"

"No… No one that I know of… Then again, those really aren't records that a humble librarian would be able to access easily," Barb replied with a somewhat uncomfortable laugh. She felt Toni further stiffen under her grasp so she let go of her then moved around the desk to look at the younger woman. After a heartbeat she almost whispered, "You think it's me."

Toni stared at the harmless looking woman standing across form her and couldn't do anything but swallow hard. Barb looked genuinely shocked, but Toni knew better than to believe the wide-eyed, innocent look. Sociopaths could lie to you without a single flutter of their pulse rate, so she was sure that a homicidal preternatural monster wouldn't hesitate to play the role of a harmless librarian with her to try to fool her and lull her into a false sense of security.

She shrugged then tried to nonchalantly say, "Well you said so yourself, there have been no deaths like this pop up on the radar in the last fourteen years and you're the only one that was around both times."

"Toni," Barb scolded her in a sharp authoritative, almost motherly tone. Toni's face didn't change, so the librarian tried a different approach saying, "Toni, I'm a woman that's well over… Fifty."

Toni smirked knowing that Barb had shaved at least ten years off the age that was showing in the gray of her hair and wrinkles of her face then pleasantly replied, "I believe that women of any age are more capable than our society would like to lead us to believe that they really are."

Barb chuckled with a faraway look in her eye saying, "If this was any other situation I would be more than happy to hear a young lady like yourself advocating ideals such as that… However, given the circumstances, I hope that you understand why I won't be thanking you for the apparent compliment." She then took a couple of steps forward and placed her hands, palms down flat, on the desktop.

Toni looked down and saw Barb's oversized knuckles and gasped out a sad sounding, "Oh… Crap."

"I take it from the look on your face that you understand what this means," Barb softly said as she pulled her hands off the desk and his them behind her back.

"Yes Ma'am," Toni whispered. She scolded herself silently one more time before making eye contact and more confidently explaining, "I help out my dad's friend every summer with her garden when I'm visiting him because she can't hold her tools due to her arthritis. There's no way that you could hold the weapon that killed these men… I… I can't even… I sincerely apologize for my rudeness."

Toni got up to leave without making any further eye contact, but stopped when Barb gently grabbed her by the forearm. "I took no offense to it Toni. Although your sentiments were misguided, it's refreshing to hear that someone is trying to keep an open mind about potential suspects. Now… Would you like a copy of these articles?"

"Really?" Toni asked quietly. "Even after I accused you of…? Umm… Being a killer? You'll still give them to me?"

Barb was already behind her computer printing out a few of the files as she replied, "Of course I will. Hopefully the project that you're working on can help the police finally find this creep and that it will help you get a great job in law enforcement."

Toni took the copies that the older woman was holding then extended her right hand saying, "I'll try my best. Thank you so much for your help Barb. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your insight."

The Librarian smiled brightly and firmly shook the younger woman's hand happily replying, "You are more than welcome. Good luck to you."

As she exited the library, Toni finally pulled out her phone to check on the calls she missed while she was talking to Barb. She smiled softly when she saw that she had two missed calls with corresponding voicemails. Even though she had a good feeling that she already knew who they would be from, Toni still double checked her call log to see had placed the calls to her. Unsurprisingly the most recent one was from Dean, but her heart skipped a beat when she saw the earliest one was from Sam and not her dad like she had predicted.

Dean's message was short and directly to the point, _"I know what we're hunting. Meet me at the motel."_

Toni scoffed softly at the abruptness of Dean's voicemail and his assumption that she would remember the complicated formula for finding the motel where Sam would be staying. Of course the first thing that she did at the library was to look it up in the Yellow Pages and wrote down its name, so she did know where she would be going, but she still resented Dean ordering her around all the same. Luckily for Dean, Toni didn't have a chance to dwell on that resentment for long because Sam's voice followed Dean's message right away.

" _Hey Toni it's me… I'm sorry that I can't tell you where I am right now, but I really am doing okay. I swear to you that I am… But… This is just something that I have to take care of on my own… Which really isn't a proper explanation, I know, but I'll fill you in when I get back to the cabin… Umm… Hopefully tomorrow. Please don't be upset… And I know… Dean must be pissed at my disappearing act, so I owe you big time… Anyway, I'm fine and I'll see you soon."_

When the message ended, Toni was tempted to replay it to try to decipher the hidden context that she was sure was behind every word that he spoke. She was convinced that Sam wasn't telling her something, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out why he would do that right now, especially after the blunt promises they had made each other about maintaining absolute honesty between them.

She was just about to replay the message when her phone came to life against her ear and it startled her so much that she answered it without checking the caller ID with a sadly hopeful, "Hello?"

" _Hey there Angel… Is everything okay?"_

Toni exhaled heavily to calm her nerves before replying, "Oh… Hey Dad… Yeah… Everything's pretty alright. I'm sorry if I sound jumpy but this job sort of has me on edge for some stupid reason."

" _A job has you nervous? Are you safe?"_ He asked while trying to keep his sheer panic from reaching his voice.

"Yes Sir, I most definitely am safe… In fact, Dean says that he has this one pretty much figured out and I'm just heading over to meet up with him so we can finish it up."

" _Dean? Just Dean? You mean that Sam isn't traveling with the two of you?"_

By this time, Toni had reached her destination so she found a parking spot and started scanning the surrounding area for any sign of Dean. When she couldn't find him, she flopped back in her seat and had a short debate with herself about how she should express her worries to her dad.

"Well Sir… To be frank and honest that's precisely what is causing me to be on edge. Sam left us a kind of cryptic note that he would be back in a couple of days and that was it. Dean and I managed to follow him here and Dean seems to know what this job is all about… Sam left me a voicemail saying that it's something that he has to take care of, but he won't give me details right now. I just… I guess I don't understand why he's being so secretive with me all of the sudden," she managed to explain without giving into any one of her conflicting emotions of sadness or rage too much. "Why…? Why would he do that to me Dad?"

The question seemed to catch both of them off guard, but Toni felt no regret about requesting her father's advice and assistance so bluntly. Fearing that Toni would want to retract her last statement, the Colonel waited a couple of seconds before he replied, _"Angel? Do you really want my honest assessment of this situation?"_

"Yes Sir, I do," Toni answered confidently and without hesitation. "This is… I mean… If you feel that you are able to shed some light on it and are comfortable sharing with me."

Her dad allowed himself to chuckle softly before he said, _"Yes Angel I think I can and I'm happy to share. Now, you and Dean obviously found the same or close to the same clue that Sam had found for this mission… Now… If Sam says that it's something that he feels that he needs to take care of… Well then it sounds like it might be a bit of unfinished business for him to me… You know like back when Dean had to take care of that Shtriga in 'Something Wicked'."_

"Unfinished business… So you think that he's hunted something like this before so he feels guilty that the same thing has started up again?" Toni clarified with the slightest hint of tears in her tone because she couldn't believe that Sam would shut her out during such a crisis.

" _Based on the Intel you provided to me that would be my conclusion."_

"Shit…" Toni sighed out before she could stop herself.

" _Toni?"_ Her father asked in a tone that Toni wasn't sure if he was chastising her for swearing or if he wanted her to clarify the mild profanity.

"I'm sorry that I cussed Sir, but if you are in fact correct then I really can't get mad at him." Toni paused there and the Colonel almost jumped in to ask her what she meant by that, but Toni continued without him having to prompt her. "He gets a free pass for not giving me details if he's under emotional duress. Okay… I have officially stepped away from the edge now. Thank you for your help Dad. I love you so much."

The Colonel let out a surprised laugh then replied, _"I'm always more than happy to help you out Angel. And I'm just a phone call away if you need me for any other reason. You make sure that you take care of yourself. I love you."_

While she was saying her goodbyes with her dad, Toni saw a dark, 'Dean-like' figure as a show at one of the motel room's doors. Whomever it was quickly checked over their shoulders as if to check that no one was watching them and then they started to do something with the door lock, so she hastily put away her phone to rush over towards him before he could slip inside the room.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing?" She questioned in a hushed tone while she continued to keep an eye on the parking lot to ensure that they weren't being observed.

Dean pushed the door open then smiled and replied, "Sammy wasn't polite enough to leave us a key. Ladies first."

Toni frowned at him but quickly moved into the room to keep from drawing any further attention to them. Dean followed her and then closed the door, but before she could ask anything else they both heard the distinctive sound of keys jingling at the door's lock. Dean threw his finger to his lips to tell Toni to keep quiet even though she had already moved around the bed so that she would have a completely unobstructed shot at the door with her favorite handgun raised in a two fisted hold.

As soon as the door opened, Dean threw a violent right cross into Sam's face and Toni nearly screamed a shocked, "DEAN!" as he calmly stated, "Howdy Sam."

Toni threw her handgun onto a bed then she ran over to the door and pulled Dean back by the shoulders shrieking, "You are insane, aren't you? You are going to give him permanent brain damage if you keep pummeling his head like that!"

Dean flexed his fingers as Toni fell to her knees to check on Sam as Dean replied, "I thought that your Army friend said that his brain was fine."

Sam was too dazed to reply, so Toni glared at Dean saying, "That was then Dipshit… It doesn't mean that you won't still fuck him up!" She then turned her full attention to the injured man in her arms asking, "Sam? Are you okay? Can you stand up?"

He simply nodded to all of her questions, so she helped him to get upright onto his feet. Dean was already inside the room pacing which left Toni to help Sam move into the room all on her own. Sam groaned a few times, but he didn't seem to mind using the smaller woman as a sort of crutch even though their height difference made it pretty awkward. Once they were through the doorway, Sam bent over to whisper to Toni that he was okay to walk, so she released her hold on him and turned back towards the door in order to secure it properly.

"New rule," Dean announced to the room while Sam moved towards the kitchenette area. "You steal my baby, you get punched."

Toni remained by the door and threw her hands up saying, "Only time I've even driven the Impala was to bring it back to you, so don't look at me."

Dean shook his head at her attempts to joke them out of a fight and then turned to his brother sternly asking, "The hell were you thinking Sam…? Running off like that? I mean, for all I know, Satan could have been calling your plays."

Sam pulled out a can of pop from the fridge and then held it to his left eyes as he looked between his girlfriend and brother. Before he answered Dean he directed his commentary to Toni asking, "Hey…? Toni… Would you mind giving Dean and I a minute?"

She had to physically shake her head to clear her mind before she could properly reply, "Sure… Yeah… No problem. I'll just go and see if I can find you some ice for that eye."

Sam stepped over to her and just barely had enough time to peck her lips and say 'Thank you' before Toni slipped out the door and closed it. Toni felt too numb to function properly for a few minutes, so she ended up hearing Dean's muffled voice while he yelled at Sam even though she couldn't quite make out the words. Although she had been really close with both of her brothers when they were alive, she had been the only one out of the three of them that had ever had had a yelling match with either of them for any reason. She knew that Alex and Will disagreed on pretty much every aspect that two guys could have a differing opinion about, but they both seemed to just accept that because they were brothers that they wouldn't agree on everything without having to prove it to each other with an elaborate fight, so she never felt comfortable listening to anyone fight.

Toni finally managed to move away from the door towards the ice machine, but she realized as soon as she opened it that she didn't have anything to put ice into. The motel's office showed no signs of life, so she instead went over to her truck to try to find anything that might be remotely useful.

By the time that she emptied a plastic bag that had been filled with bullets and ammunition and then refilled it with ice, the voices in Sam's room were completely hushed and nearly nonexistent. After trying to see into the room more than once unsuccessfully, Toni finally knocked tentatively at the door. Sam answered it without saying a word and then they managed to maneuver around each other without having to say anything else.

After Sam was seated on a bed with the makeshift ice pack pressed to his face, Toni finally whispered, "Where's Dean?"

Sam thrust a thumb over his shoulder then answered, "In the bathroom getting ready for bed."

Toni nodded and then walked over to Sam so that she could pull him down for a kiss while she simultaneously picked up one of the pillows from his bed. He watched her with a frown on his face as she picked up his jacked in her other hand and then moved towards the ratty looking couch in the room. Toni smiled at him and tried to reassure him saying, "I'm the smallest out of the three of us, so I'll take the couch. Sweet dreams Sam."

The next day, just after Sam and Toni had bought take-out breakfast for the three of them, Dean informed them that they would be heading to Spokane for at least a day. Toni wanted to protest that they would be heading back to Whitefish, Montana instead of going further west, but she held her tongue because Dean was offering Sam the keys to the Impala to drive. Sam had traveled with Toni to give her the 'Cliffs Notes' version about why he had to do this last hunt alone and its eventual outcome and now she was more than ready for some alone time to collect her thoughts. She was pretty sure that she wasn't upset with Sam about not killing someone that had once saved his life, but deep down she knew that he had let a murderer go free. She wasn't sure that she fully sympathized with the reason why Sam's friend had given for killing the men that Toni had read about in the newspapers, so she was hoping to take this time to get her emotions in check before going everything with Sam more in depth.

Once they made it to Spokane, Dean abruptly left Sam to check them into the motel and again Toni wasn't inclined to argue with that decision. She was more than happy to find herself alone in a room, straddling Sam's lap with her lips caressing his without reservation or interruption.

Sam was the first one to break the embrace and the mood by pulling back to ask, "Really Toni? You aren't mad?"

All Toni wanted to do was continue kissing Sam until they completely lost themselves in the moment, so she stood up to get some distance from him. Sam let her detach herself form him with a worried eye and just watched Toni in silence while he waited as patiently as he could for her reply.

He braced himself for a thorough tongue lashing, but instead he heard her softly say, "No I'm not. It was your unfinished business that you needed to take care of and I respect that." Toni stopped halfway between the bed Sam was still sitting on and the door before adding, ""But that being said, I still wish that you had trusted me enough to tell me about it all before you pulled a whole Renegade Lone Gunman on me… I mean us."

"I know… I know," Sam agreed as he stood up and took a couple of tentative steps towards his girlfriend. "But when I left, I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I was right. That doesn't change the fact that I should have told you more. I know that I should have and I hate that I didn't."

Toni didn't make any move to stop him, so Sam took both of her hands in his then placed a soft kiss on her lips. While he was still holding their hands close to his waist, which was closer to being chest height on Toni, she unconsciously licked her lips while trying to regain her focus so that she could come up with some kind of coherent response.

"I hate that you didn't too," she replied softly. "But that being said, I DO completely understand why you did it so let's not over think it, okay?"

Sam smiled more easily, leaned down to kiss her again and then he pulled into a tight hug so that their torsos were completely flush. Toni let him continue to kiss her along the length of her neck and behind one ear and allowed herself to become almost completely compliant in his arms. While he was worshipping her flesh with his lips Toni almost let it go too far, but she came back to herself and managed to stop him before he could lift her off of the ground.

"Sam… Sam…" She breathlessly protested.

He dropped his hands to his side, but kept his body intimately close which made direct eye contact between the two of them practically impossible as he replied, "Shit… You are mad."

Toni stroked his forearms then kissed his chest through his shirts where she could feel his heat beating erratically as she reassured him saying, "No Sam, I'm not… But we don't know how long Dean will be gone for."

Sam leaned back and gave her another unsure look so she stood up on her tip toes to kiss his lips explaining, "You know that I've never been much of an exhibitionist, so I'd rather not have an audience while we… Well you know… You and Dean already have enough to talk about and I don't think you want to add the imagery of us… You know… To the list…" Sam opened his mouth to protest so Toni quickly added, "Plus I barely slept last night, so I'd like to catch a nap before Bobby gets here. I probably won't retain anything he's going to tell us later if I don't rest."

While Toni was still gripping his forearms, Sam took a step back and said, "Yeah, you're probably right. I should try to sleep too." They shared a sad smile then Toni turned away to walk towards the door as Sam called out, "I love you Toni."

She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder to tearfully reply, "I know."

After she closed the door, Toni held onto the outside door handle and closed her eyes while she regained her ability to breathe. As she started down the walkway to the motel office (because she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep if she stayed in the same room as the brothers), Toni abruptly stopped and turned to stare in the direction of the Winchesters' room to decide if she had done the right thing or not with Sam. She was sure that she wasn't actually angry with Sam and yet she couldn't help but feel like she mistakenly left him with that impression.

Sam was still standing with his forehead against his room's door when he heard a soft knock rap against it. As soon as he had the door open, two hands met his cheeks and pulled him down for a kiss.

"I love you too," Toni stated resolutely while looking him straight in the eye.

They smiled at each other almost stupidly and then Toni pecked Sam's lips again before almost skipping towards the office.


	30. Spare This Treasure that I Found

"Something better be chasing you," Dean quipped the instant his brother was visible from where he sat at the table behind his laptop in their motel room.

Sam scoffed loudly then replied with a glare, "It's good for you."

"No, no it's not good for you," Dean lectured pointing at Sam with his hand wrapped around a glass of whiskey. "Look at you. You're… you're a mess and you stink… Well while you were out being Lance Armstrong…"

"That would be biking," Sam interrupted without even trying to hide his disdain.

Dean continued talking as if Sam hadn't spoken at all saying, "I was working. You ever heard of a town called Prosperity, Indiana?"

"Has anybody?"

Sam leaned against the door jamb while his brother told him about the two deaths that he had been reading about that had occurred in that town. The first was a woman who had died after being fried under a hair dryer at a salon. That was supposed to be impossible, although Dean refused to fully explain how he knew beyond a fact that something like that could never actually happen. That fact alone of course was enough to pique the Winchester's interest, but having that impossible feat compounded with a story about a man that had died in his hot tub convinced them that this was more than likely something that they should look into as soon as was humanly possible.

After agreeing with Dean that they would be heading out that way to see what was really happening, Sam paused before turning away to shower asking, "You know… One more thing. What's going on with you?"

Dean smiled self-consciously to himself before he more sternly replied, "We have had this conversation Sam."

"No, we haven't… See… To do that you'd have to… Uhh… Sort of… Speak."

Dean sat up straighter in his chair then replied with a fairly condescending tone, "Okay, let's see if you can get this straight. See you're… You're 'New Sam', right…? Lance Armstrong…" "Biking," Sam nearly huffed as he tried yet again to correct his brother with apparently little or no effect as Dean continued, "And uhh… And I'm still me, okay? All right so… So you might see things different now… Uhh… Toni called it a 'Runner's High' or some crap… But that doesn't mean that something's going on with me, okay?"

Sam nodded then flippantly replied, "Yeah… Okay" as he turned and walked towards the bathroom.

"No, don't say 'Yeah… Okay' like 'Yeah, okay'," Dean retorted with annoyed exasperation.

"Yeah… Okay," Sam called out again without any attempts to change his tone.

Dean huffed then stared at his computer screen and almost violently whipped his glass off of the table top. He looked at the amber liquid for a heartbeat then put the glass back down and decided to just glare at their empty beds instead while he decidedly was not thinking about any topics that Sam might have conjured up with his line of questioning.

"I mean it Sam!" He finally shouted, although he wasn't sure what point he was actually trying to drive home to his brother. But Dean was certain that there was no force on the planet that would allow him to grant Sam the last word in any conversation. (Because they were not having an argument, so it was just another annoying conversation in Dean's mind.)

Sam poked his head around the corner of the door saying into his phone, "Sorry, just give me two seconds." As he held his phone away from his face, Sam turned his attention back to his brother asking, "What were you bellowing about now Dean?"

Dean just glared at Sam in reply, so the younger Winchester returned to his phone conversation without prodding any further. "But to answer your earlier question, I pushed it all the way to three miles today."

" _Only three? Oh… Well I guess that's pretty good for a beginner… Uhh… Congrats."_

"Yeah ONLY three miles tough guy. How many are you up to now?" Sam countered while trying to suppress the grin that wanted and needed to accompany his humorous tone.

" _I can do four comfortably now, but when I pushed it past a little over five I was completely laid up for a couple of days…"_ Toni replied hesitantly before somewhat awkwardly adding, _"My left arm was completely useless for two days and I was kind of limping because… Umm… My leg was so tender too…"_

Toni hadn't wanted to admit to Sam that she was still experiencing some issues as a result from her almost completely healed gunshot wounds, but she was constantly reminding herself that if she was going to insist on absolute, uncomfortable honesty from Sam then that was what she had to offer him without protest. Sam seemed to take the news as well as Toni had predicted he would because all that she heard was a loud sigh followed by an even more uncomfortable silence. When she heard him take in a deep breath, she was confident of what would happen next and before he could apologize unnecessarily, yet again, she quickly asked, _"So… Chester, Pennsylvania? Are you ready to fill me in on all of the uncomfortable details about that job yet?"_

"Ohh… Umm… Uhh…" Sam started to answer awkwardly.

" _We've already debated this and came up with an agreement, remember? I wouldn't push to find out about it IF you didn't get all over protective and worrisome about my screwing up and getting shot… Right?"_

"Yeah we did, but…"

" _SAM!"_ Toni interrupted sharply. _"I mean it damn it! Stop! I had Trick look at both of my wounds and he said that they would be just fine in time. He gave me some shit for trying to push it and not so gently reminded me that it'll all be okay if I behave myself. But…"_

Sam started to worry about what she was going to say next even though Toni had trailed off intentionally to get to him and he more than showed his apprehension as he asked, "But what?"

" _Sorry_ … _Sorry… But he also told me to pass on his praises to whomever I found to patch me up. Apparently you guys do such good work that I'm lucky I didn't end up with more muscle or tendon damage. He's been pretty insistent that it would have been so much worse if I hadn't been smart enough to see some 'professionals' to take care of me this time. He still thinks that I went to the hospital and a plastic surgeon this time around."_

Seeing his brother start to blush caused Dean to take more notice of Sam's conversation and then he attempted to catch Sam's attention as subtly as he could. Sam was still slightly stunned but did manage to flatly say, "Well we try our best."

Since his other attempts seemed to fail, Dean actually snapped his fingers as he asked in a hushed yell, "Is that Toni you're talking to?"

Sam tried to shoe Dean away with a wave of his hand as he quietly replied, "Yeah it is… Shh…"

Toni laughed softly as she asked, _"Are you fighting with Dean too?"_ Sam muttered something inaudible then Toni thought of something and quickly added, _"Wait! You were saying that you just got back from your run, right? Have…? Have you showered yet?"_

"Yeah, I did just…" Sam was slow to finish his full reply for two reasons: One he didn't completely understand why Toni would be asking that question and two he couldn't for the life of him figure out why his brother was waving for him to hand Dean his phone so insistently.

" _Oh gross Sam! No wonder Dean is being such a pain in the ass to you!"_ Toni teased. _"If it's as sunny there as the weather channel says it should be you must be beyond ripe. Poor Dean."_

Dean seemed to have heard that portion of the conversation because he smirked fairly smugly. Sam had grown used to Toni's good natured teasing, so he didn't allow his anger to get the best of him and just countered her statements while grinning, "Well I was going to try to save you, but since you insist…"

" _Sam? Save me from what? Sam? SAM?"_ Toni questioned fruitlessly in a mild panic as Sam stepped forward and passed his phone to his brother. _"Sam?"_

"He has finally gone to have a shower," Dean informed her before he took a large gulp from his glass.

" _Oh well in that case, you're welcome Dean."_

Dean nearly choked on his drink before he was able to ask, "What?"

" _I said 'You're welcome'… You know, for getting Sam to shower after his run. I assume that that's what you wanted to talk to me about. Isn't it?"_ Toni clarified with an overly innocent tone.

After another soft chuckle, Dean had completely recovered so that he could respond, "Yeah he definitely needed to go get cleaned up, but that isn't what we… By that I mean you and I, need to talk about."

This time it was Toni's turn to utter a confused sounding, _"What?"_

"I've been thinking that we need to talk about this stupid health club kick you have my brother on," Dean replied almost angrily. "I don't know if he… Or if both of us can keep this pace up for much longer."

Toni laughed disdainfully as she said, _"Wait! You're pissed at me because Sam's made running part of his daily routine?"_

"Yeah…" Dean answered with slight hesitation and a new bout of uncertainty.

" _Fuck… Dean… Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean…"_ Toni's tone started to shift from being completely annoyed to sounding faintly amused. _"Alright, before I lose you to your sullenness, can I ask you a quick question?"_

Dean's eyes narrowed even though there wasn't any possibility that Toni could have seen it in an unconscious attempt to augment the sound of his suspicion as he replied, "Yeah… Okay… Shoot."

" _Okay… Since he's taken my advice…"_ She started with a more than audible relieved sigh. _"Has he had any…? Shit what'd you guys call them before? Has he had any 'Bag lady' episodes?"_

Toni's question caught Dean slightly off guard for a moment, but he answered as quickly as he could to keep her from noticing his surprise, "No he hasn't. Why is that important?"

With a feeling of slight superiority, Toni replied, _"Exactly! And has he been thumbing at his scar on his left palm at all?"_

"Not so much…" Dean said with a much more defensive tone. "But you only bargained for one question, so that means I get to ask you one or two… What the hell does that have to do with his whole Lance Armstrong routine?"

" _Flo Jo,"_ Toni stated firmly.

"What?"

" _Flo Jo,"_ Toni repeated again calmly. _"If you're going to belittle Sam about running the least you could do is use the name of someone from the appropriate sport."_

"Right…? What…? Okay, fine… Whatever… That's not important," he countered not trying to hide his mounting confusion.

After taking in a slow deep breath, Toni replied, _"Actually it IS important Dean."_

"Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

" _Well after I had talked to Doc about Sam's condition, I got to thinking… Lucifer, or a figment of him in the back of Sam's brain, is trying to convince Sam that he's still in Hell, right?"_ Toni paused more for dramatic effect than she did for an actual answer so she continued before Dean could respond. _"And that too got me thinking… Maybe if I… If we could help him to find some ways to find the 'happy hormone' here on Earth then he'll know that he isn't in Hell… You know… Like exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy…"_

"And 'happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't'," Dean finished with a bitter bite. "Okay yeah, I guess that does sort of make sense."

" _Of course it… Wait… Did…? Did you just finish that quote from 'Legally Blonde'? Wow… Shit… I know that Sam has always said that you were a movie buff, but the chickiest of chick flicks? Fuck_ _ **I**_ _only know it because Vanessa used it to tease me about wanting to be a lawyer and made me watch it over and over. But you? You actually know it well enough to quote it too?"_

"Yeah I… Well she… I…" Dean tried to explain awkwardly. "While I lived with… Them… She liked watching girly movies once in a while, so I watched them with her to make her happy. But whatever, can we move on now?"

Toni knew exactly who Dean was talking about even though he was being so vague so she quickly apologized, _"Shit fuck… I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to pick at an old wound like that. I just wanted… Fuck! How do we always do this when we talk to each other?"_

Dean laughed self-consciously as he replied, "Natural talent?"

" _Yeah,"_ Toni agreed with a calmer tone. _"Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I know that running helps me clear my head, so I was hoping that it would do the same thing for Sam… And… Well from what he's told me, I would be slightly inclined to believe that it's been working for him too…"_

Dean sat listening to the water in the shower shut off before he said, "Yeah, I… I guess it probably has, but…"

" _But it isn't how you like to deal with things,"_ Toni offered with a sincere sympathy in her tone. She thought that she heard Dean sigh out an emphatic and heated 'No' so she continued with a bit more force in her voice. _"But what you or I would rather be doing doesn't really matter right now does it? We both just have to focus on what's best for Sam."_

After finishing her statement, Toni swallowed hard while she waited for Dean's reply. After what felt like an eternity she started to squirm in her seat slightly and was just about to fill the silence when Dean finally said, "Alright, I think you have more than made your point. And… Okay I won't razz him about the health kick if you promise to help me with something."

" _Anything,"_ she replied almost too quickly because of her relief.

"If you both want me off his back, then it's only fair that he gets off of mine," Dean stated flatly.

He paused there and Toni took a couple of seconds to try to properly digest Dean's announcement. _"Your drinking,"_ she nearly stated as a question. _"You want him to shut up about how much you drink every day, right?"_ Dean made a noise to the affirmative so Toni continued more confidently, _"I'll see what I can do about that. I can't make any promises… But Dean? He…"_ She forced herself to lose some of the bravado from her tone to allow her raw sadness and concern to show. _"He… We do worry about you. I've seen how alcohol can destroy a person, body and soul…"_

"Your dad," he cut in softly.

Toni nodded and swallowed back her tears so that they could continue this calm, civilized conversation. _"Yeah. But it isn't about the drunken rages or spotty memory that worries me Dean. It's… Well… Your physical health. I've done some research on it and… Well even functioning alcoholics… The people that can drink all day but still function and look and act sober… They aren't immune to things like liver disease or cancer. Do…? Do you know what that could mean?"_

"No," Dean whispered, unsure that he wanted to hear the impending explanation.

" _It's not the drinking that worries me and I'm not going to presume to speak for Sam on this, but I'm worried about losing you. God and his angels might be able to bring you back after something… Fuck… After something supernatural has killed you, but will they be able to do the same for you if something as mundane as liver disease kills you?"_ She paused to let her words sink in then finished with a soft, _"I'm sure that Sam would really miss you… Plus who else would both Sam and I be able to pick a fight with so that we can keep ourselves from becoming too perfect for this world to handle?"_

Sam walked into Dean's eye-line with a pensive frown on his face at seeing his brother still talking on his cell phone. Dean turned his eyes up towards Sam's face and made near perfect eye contact with his brother as he answered, "Well when you put it that way, I guess it would be best for you two if I did try to stick around for a while." Sam took a step towards the table and since Toni was just laughing heartily, Dean quickly said, "Sam'll call you later, okay?"

Before Toni could reply, Dean hung up the phone and tossed it to Sam saying, "You should really give Toni a call later." The look on Sam's face showed every bit of his confusion and uncertainty, so Dean tried his best to joke his way out of this awkward situation by light heartedly adding, "Hey don't give me that look. You don't say a proper goodbye to your girlfriend and I'm the one that gets his ear chewed off for…" He paused to pointedly check the time on his laptop screen. "Fuck for fifteen minutes. I'm just saying you might want to call her to clear the air with her is all."

Dean was on his feet and moving towards their bags while Sam stared at his phone in an attempt to catch up with everything his brother had said. Just as Sam opened his mouth to respond, Dean said, "But first we'll head to Prosperity and then you can smooth things over with Toni, okay?"

"Okay," Sam agreed putting his phone into his jeans' pocket. "So how far away are we from there? And what theories have you come up with for this one?"

They both paused in their spots and made direct eye contact before Dean smiled and said, "Get the car packed up while I shower and then I'll fill you in on everything I found while we make our way there."

Dean had the bathroom door closed before Sam realized what had just happened and grumbled, "Fuck… How do I get roped into packing the car up alone every single time?"

It took all of the finesse and charm that she could muster, but Toni was finally able to convince the foreman to hire her for the job at the "event of the year". Even though she had had to lie and say that she had the uniform at home, which meant that she had to make a detour to the mall in order to buy the pieces she was missing, Toni was still nearly fifteen minutes early for the orientation meeting that new employees were required to attend. She had already put on the uniform and styled her hair perfectly and applied her makeup to look as wholesome as possible before entering the building in the hopes that if she looked the part that everyone would just ignore her for being a faceless worker bee and not stop her to ask questions.

Toni managed to check out pretty much every inch of the building, except for the actual hall area where the benefit would be held that night, while everyone else was doing the orientation she had been expected to attend. Once she rejoined the small crowd, Toni tried her best to find out who was 'in charge' as discretely as possible, but she quickly realized that none of the female workers would talk to her. Finally after numerous unsuccessful attempts, a man in the same charcoal black, three piece suit as her and everyone else stepped up towards her. He had a commanding air about him, but Toni only pretended to be impressed by the clipboard in his hand and what it represented. She had attended enough of this type of function with her family to know that the 'pompous ass with a clipboard' was the person that she would need to impress in order to get the critical information that she needed to finish the real job at hand. At least in theory he was, so she was more than willing to play to those cards and be as polite as was physically possible to him no matter how rude he might be to her.

"Umm… I'm sorry… Uhh… But I kind of got lost, so I think that I'm kind of late," Toni tried to apologize using a humble tone that sounded truly repentant.

"Name?" He questioned firmly without looking away from watching the busy men and women behind her that were putting the room together for the event.

"Nicole," Toni replied with a faint French accent. "Nicole Gaultier, Mr. Gillen."

"Gaultier… Gaultier… Right, here you are," he replied with an unimpressed tone. "Well I did have you slotted for bartending duties, but since you were late I think we should start you with something a bit less important for now."

Toni swallowed hard and straightened out her black vest to remind herself that she couldn't fight with him if she wanted to find out what was happening, "To start…? So does that mean that I'm not off completely off bartending duties?"

The foreman finally turned his eyes away from the other workers and couldn't stop their unconscious widening when he took in Toni's beauty before he hoarsely replied, "Well you're…" He coughed a couple of times to clear his throat before continuing more authoritatively. "You do have the most experience mixing drinks…" He caught the playful glint in her eye and tried not to get lost in it as he attempted (and almost failed) to remain sounding very condescending as he said, "But don't let that make you think that you aren't expendable Ms. Gaultier, understood?"

Toni nodded and swallowed any of her usual sarcastic commentary answering overly politely, "Yes sir, I completely understand… What…? What did you want…? Uhh need me to do?"

"Paintings… Help hang up the paintings," he quickly replied while diverting his eyes from her steadfast gaze. "I'll have you start there… Also make sure that there are no scuff marks on the white walls. Once you're done with that, come and find me for your next assignment."

"Yes sir," Toni eagerly agreed as she moved towards the fake walls that had been erected in front of the stage and tables that were still being set up.

As soon as she turned around to complete the tasks she was given, Toni ran into a wall shaped man that could look conspicuously like a body guard. She quickly flashed him a beguiling smile saying, "I'm supposed to help with the painting for the auction…" She made sure to put on her best 'helpless waif' face and blinked her eyes seductively asking, "Help a girl out? I really screwed up and need to impress the boss so that I don't get fired before this thing starts… What needs to be done with the paintings?"

The stocky, dark skinned male in a suit jacket that was much looser fitting than most of the other staffers (which Toni knew was done so that he could easily hide his firearm) gave her a faint predatory smile as he answered, "I'm pretty sure that Mrs. Stark would be overjoyed if the frames were dust free and the walls looked nothing but snow white."

"Dust free frames and clean walls," Toni replied enthusiastically as she wrung out some water from a rag into a bucket. "I can most definitely do that." She almost asked him to point out Mrs. Stark to her, but she figured it was too early for someone of her importance to be at there, so she instead asked, "Could you just let me know if Mr. Gillen needs me for anything else while I'm doing that?"

She wasn't sure if it was the smile on her face or the tone in her face, but the bodyguard sneered before he replied, "Oh I'm sure that he'll have more than enough… Work for a lady the likes of you."

Toni forced her smile not to falter and just nodded even though she really wanted to give him a piece of her mind before starting to clean the first frame of the row and carefully rehung it on the wall. As she reached up to get the next painting into place, Toni paused when she felt a gloved hand grip her harm tightly.

"Mrs. Stark was most insistent that no one is to touch the frames with their bare hands," a painfully deep voice informed her.

"Oh… Well…" She tried to recover smoothly. "Mr. Gillen didn't say anything about that to me. I'm really sorry. She didn't see me did she?"

He shook his head as he released her arm to take the frame then smiled sympathetically and said, "Well I think he's a little bit overwhelmed by how demanding the organizer for this thing is… Here, why don't you let me take care of these?" Toni nodded then nearly whispered, "But I…" He smiled even brighter and interrupted her, "While you assist me of course. Deal?"

Toni loudly exhaled the breath that she had been holding and said, "Deal."

Her new helper ended up doing the vast majority of the work and she was more than happy to just hover behind him looking busy in order to make a good impression on her 'boss'. He wasn't very chatty, in fact he hadn't even offered her anything close to a polite introduction, so Toni didn't force conversation and took that time to watch everyone around the room. After a while her attention became fixated on a striking brunette in a form complimenting teal dress who seemed to command (or demand depending on your point of view) the attention of every single person she passed.

Toni hadn't noticed that she was standing completely still in her spot staring at the woman while all of the other workers continue to do their parts until she heard a male voice call out, "Two FBI agents came by asking questions."

The brunette (whom Toni was now being a bit less obvious about watching) turned around to face the man she had been arguing with saying, "Hunters sweetheart, that's what they are. Oh… I can see you're terribly concerned for my safety…"

 _Shit! They must be the Starks._ Toni thought to herself while she watched Don Stark start to walk away. _Perfect! Now I can stop pretending to be a stupid worker bee and warn them before this stupid benefit starts._

Maggie Stark turned to continue on with her day and caught Toni watching her with a strange smile on the younger woman's face to which the philanthropist snapped, "What do you think you're staring at?"

Toni jumped and looked genuinely startled as she replied, "Oh I… I didn't mean… M-mean to… But… Sorry it's just that the teal of your dress just brings out the color of your eyes that it makes them beyond breath-taking. I'm really sorry Ma'am."

"Oh… My…" Maggie said with a soft smile. "Thank you for the compliment, but…" Something happening behind Toni caught Maggie's attention and instead of finishing her response, Maggie shouted, "No! Not there! Does it look like those should go there?"

Any further pleasantries with Toni was quickly forgotten in order to reprimand one of the other workers who was apparently doing something that might ruin the integrity of the event. Toni sighed with relief and then walked away while pulling her hair into a loose ponytail so that she would be more comfortable. The only reason she had tried so hard to keep this job was so that she could finally get a visual on the Starks to shadow one or both of them, but she hadn't anticipated seeing either of them before the benefit had begun, so now she could happily forget this charade to watch over them more inconspicuously.

She was surprised and somewhat confused that the Starks knew what a 'hunter' was (according to the new definition she had recently learned). That wasn't something that she had anticipated in the least, so she felt the need to mentally tally all of the information she had been able to gather along with this juicy tidbit added into the mix. But first she really needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of putting this event together so she could focus solely on her thoughts while also avoiding attracting the foreman's attention in her direction while she found a hiding place, which thankfully didn't take long.

She tucked herself behind a large curtain of a window that was overlooking the courtyard at the front of the building. Her eyes focused on a bust of Don Stark and she smiled when she noticed the dead vegetation that flanked its pedestal. When she had started putting her dossier together, Toni had convinced herself that she was hunting a witch and that the Starks were mostly next on her hit list, but she had no idea who the culprit could have been. Now she felt beyond relieved that she had actually figured out not just the 'what' but the 'who' she was hunting, although she still had no idea how she was supposed to stop both of them.

 _A witch… Or is it two witches? A witch and a warlock? Is that the proper term?_ She mused to herself silently as she pulled out her cellphone. Life had become so much easier for Toni since she had reconnected with Sam because whenever she was completely stumped on a job, she could now simply call the Winchesters to pick their brains for any elusive answer. The best part of this deal was that if the boys didn't have the answer, she now had a Bobby in her back pocket. At first she had felt a little guilty because it seemed vaguely lazy, but when lives were at stake she figured that the method that took the least amount of time was the best course of action, so she completely forgot that she should feel bad in anyway.

Toni kept her eyes trained on the bust outside as she dialed Sam's number and almost thought she was going completely crazy when she saw it (and nothing else outside) start to shake. In an attempt to clear her head, Toni closed her eyes and shook her head vigorously. When she opened her eyes the statue was thankfully completely still again.

Suddenly, just a Sam answered the phone, the face of the statue cracked and fell to the ground causing Toni to quietly exclaim, "Fuck me."

" _Well as tempting as that is, I'm not so sure that I can help you out with that right now,"_ Sam replied holding back his laughter as best he could.

As he finally did start to laugh, Toni felt her cheeks burning red hot with embarrassment as she groaned and said, "Sorry that wasn't meant for you… I mean… Shit… Uhh… Not that I'm with another guy or anything, it just… Damn it… It's just that… Something weird just happened and you weren't… Well no one was meant to hear my reaction to it. Sorry."

Sam continued to chuckle softly then said, _"It's okay, you don't need to sound so freaked out. So… Bearing in mind that we aren't in the same State, what can I do to help you then?"_

"Oh… Well…"She started before she knocked on the passenger's side window of the Impala. She didn't disconnect their call until Sam made eye contact with her. He still had his phone up to his ear as he rolled down his window. Dean was engrossed in a phone conversation with Bobby but nodded a brief 'Hello' to her when she poked her head into the now open window. Toni placed a quick, soft, chaste kiss on Sam's lips then quietly said, "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"More surprised than scared," Sam replied as he slowly lowered his arm to put his phone away. "A very welcomed surprise," he added almost apologetically.

"Well I have to admit that you two are a sight for sore eyes." She nodded towards Dean while he was feverishly writing something down on a menu with a Sharpie. "I take it he's getting some instructions about to we can put this bitch down?"

With a warm smile and a short heartfelt laugh, Sam replied, "Yeah Bobby was able to find a spell for us."

"Yeah… Thanks again Bobby." Once Dean had his phone tucked away, he turned to face his brother and Sam's girlfriend then smiled and said, "Did we know that you were in town Toni?"

"Only if Sam's psychic premonitions are back," Toni teased before opening the back door and slipping into the seat behind the brothers. "So it sounds like you guys have this all figured out, but I would still be more than happy to offer my services."

The Winchesters shifted so they could more easily look at the woman in the backseat. Dean eyed her up and down then raised a single eyebrow suggestively. Toni wasn't one hundred percent sure what thoughts were running through Dean's mind right now, but she figured that a steely glare of disapproval was never a bad response to any questionable looks from the elder Winchester.

"I thought that one of the Starks was next on the hit list, so I talked myself onto the wait staff for this shindig," Toni explained somewhat defensively about her current attire. Sam and Dean then turned and looked at each other, but didn't appear that they were going to include Toni in on the conversation, so she jumped in asking, "Me working here means something to you guys, doesn't it? Come on… Throw a girl a bone?"

Sam smiled warmly as he turned towards her replying, "Actually it's kind of perfect. This way you can keep an eye on Maggie until we can get back from finding all of the ingredients that we need to get together."

Toni fidgeted with her bow tie nervously and smiled sheepishly as she said, "Okay… Keep an eye on the big bad witch… Yeah, I can do that. Just… Promise me that you'll give me a call the instant that I can finally cut out of there?"

By this point Toni had pulled her hair out of the messy ponytail and was trying to straighten it out in the reflection of the review mirror the best that she could. The boys started to chuckle silently once her hands reached her bowtie to pull it back into place and smoothed out her vest to ensure that she looked presentable.

Sam couldn't help it and sputtered out a loud laugh before saying with a teasing tone, "Don't sound so upset… At least this company isn't forcing you to wear something girly like a dress or anything while you serve the over-privileged masses."

Toni glared at him half-heartedly then leaned in and kissed his cheek while squeezing Dean's shoulder replying, "It's more that I don't make a good servant… Sam, you of all people know that I prefer being the one who gives the orders instead of taking them."

Even though neither her words nor her tone were overly salacious, Sam's cheeks and neck still reddened under an embarrassed flush as she left the car. Dean caught his brothers reaction immediately and couldn't help but add in his own playful jab of, "Why am I not surprised to find out that it's Toni that usually get to be the top with you two?"

"Okay so that's… And he's going to make sure that… And then I…" Maggie Stark muttered to no one in particular as she paced slightly.

Toni gave the shaker she was holding a couple more forceful agitations and then poured its contents into two martini glasses. After she placed the finishing touches onto each of the drinks, Toni walked around the bar and passed them to Maggie softly calling out, "Mrs. Stark? You've been working so hard and this place looks absolutely amazing, how about a drink?" Maggie turned with an unimpressed look on her face to which Toni replied, "Extra dry martinis with olives."

Maggie took them with a ghost of a smile on her face and barely breathed out a 'Thank you' before turning and walking away. Toni just shook her head and bit her lip so that she wouldn't say what was on her mind right now. While Toni was growing up, her parents had been the hosts and guests of many functions similar to this and her mother had always stressed that Toni was never to talk or look down her nose to the serving staff because the McNamara's weren't snobs. Stephanie McNamara had taught her daughter that although they were paying these people to do their bidding, it was the paid staff that would be making sure that everything ran smoothly and made the people with money look good. Toni had always taken her mother's advice to heart and now she realized that that life lesson had made her somewhat bitter when she met someone who didn't heed that same advice. Especially right now while she was on the receiving end of such snobbery.

For a brief moment she was ready to just throw in the towel, call it a night and tell off every single person who had talked down to her, but then she heard her dad's voice in the back of her mind reminding her that she had a job to do. He had become her number one cheerleader as of late and she really didn't want to do anything that would let him down. Deep down in a dark space of her mind that she tried her best to pretend didn't exist, Toni secretly feared that if she did do anything to really and truly disappoint her father that it would cause a domino effect that would end with the Colonel turning to the bottle again. Irrational as it might be, that was almost becoming a phobia for Toni, so she just took a deep breath and reminded herself that her feelings didn't matter at this particular moment and that she just needed to work the job. People were dying and her sole focus had to be to stop that from happening, so she just turned her attention back to the bar to take stock of the bottles and boxes there like Mr. Gillen had asked her to in order to ensure that they had enough of everything to get through the night without leaving anyone going home thirsty.

She was kneeling behind the bar doing a final count of the bottles of red wine when she heard a glass shatter against the floor which was followed by a woman screaming hysterically. By the time Toni was standing upright, all of the staff were backing away from the center of the room and the two women who remained standing there. To Toni's surprise, Maggie didn't look the least bit surprised by the melting paint of the artwork or by anything else weird that had happened up until this point. No, Maggie Stark didn't look scared or caught off guard, in fact if you asked Toni she would have said that Maggie looked angry… No Maggie was completely pissed off at somebody.

Most of the staff was making a slow retreat out of the room, but there were a brave few that attempted to continue on with the preparations as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Toni wanted nothing more than to join the first group that had made a hasty withdrawal from the room, but she forced herself to muster up enough courage to stick it out with the latter group. They all tried their best to eavesdrop on what Maggie Stark was saying without staring, but when a silver platter levitated in front of a server that was setting out the wine glasses on a table, all of the serving staff dropped their pretenses and openly gaped at the two best dresses women in the room.

Everyone, including Maggie and her friend, seemed to take in a collective breath and Toni just barely caught a petite blond that fainted when the platter flew across the room. Toni almost laughed when the woman beside Maggie was decapitated by the platter because in some perverse way she really wished the she had been able to see the actual reaction on the woman's face that was now laying in her arms at seeing someone be murdered. After everything, all of the losses and injuries Toni had been faced with over the years, Toni knew that she wouldn't feel anything but numb when she bore witness to tragedy. She couldn't do this job if she didn't allow herself to feel nothing about it, but that didn't stop her from feeling curious about seeing how normal people would respond to those same experiences.

Toni gently lowered her temporary coworker to the floor without taking her eyes off of the growing pool of blood on the floor. For a brief moment in time everything one in the room seemed to move in slow motion until suddenly it felt like someone had hit the "fast forward" button on the day. She hadn't noticed that she was still cradling the passed out woman's head in her lap while Emergency Services personnel from every branch filled the room to take over the scene until she felt a strong hand grip her shoulder.

Still feeling completely numb and somewhat disoriented, Toni looked up and absentmindedly whispered, "Sam?"

He help her to her feet then wrapped an arm around her shoulder to lead her to a corner while worriedly asking, "Are you okay? You weren't hurt in any way were you?"

"No… No… No…" Toni repeated as she shook her head slowly. Once they were a safe distance away from the crowd and had joined Dean, she seemed to have finally snapped out of her trance and nearly shouted, "Don!"

Sam smiled and laughed softly before smoothing down the hair on both sides of her head saying, "We know… Well after this we sort of figured that out."

Toni grabbed one of Sam's arms the frantically said, "There's… They're both… Did Bobby give you something for…? Sam… They could…"

"Hey… Hey… We've got everything we need," he replied calmly as he took both of her hands in both of his. "So let's just get out of here so we can take care of them, okay?"

"Yeah," Toni agreed with a nod before she took a large step back and away from both brothers. "But I can't leave. I was here when…" Toni swallowed hard then nodded towards the body that was now hidden under a blanket. "I don't want to draw attention to us any more than we have to… Why I don't I just meet you guys there?"

"Right, right… That makes sense," Sam replied before he took a step forward and leaned in close to her.

Toni quickly tugged her right hand out of Sam's grasp and slammed it hard against his chest. "No Sam… Not here, not now. What do you think they'd say if I'm caught making out with a FBI agent?"

He straightened up slightly and nodded in agreement, but he wasn't able to hide the concern in his eyes. Dean tried his best to use his body to block Sam and Toni from being seen by the rest of the room somewhat successfully, but he wasn't sure how much longer people's inattention to their trio would last given the gruesomeness of this current crime scene.

After quickly checking over his shoulder, Dean grabbed Toni's now free right hand and shook it firmly while saying, "Thank you for your insight. We'll call you later about getting together so that we can get your statement on tape."

Toni had anticipated that she wouldn't be leaving the banquet hall in a timely manner, but she had hoped that she would be afforded enough time to lend a hand while the Winchesters were trying to stop their two targets. She tried her best not to exceed the speed limits too much on her way to the address that Dean had written down on a business card that he had slipped to her during his 'grateful' handshake because she was finally starting to feel rattled and wasn't wanting to have to come up with any other convincing stories for the authorities tonight. She hadn't had the presence of mind to check the time, but she figured that since it was still dark out that she would still have a chance of being some actual help on this job and not just tell the boys a bunch of information that they already knew.

By the time that she made it to the Starks' estate, Sam and Dean were already limping down the driveway towards the Impala. She quickly parked her truck and ran to the brothers to check on both of their welfare. Neither of them seemed to have blood gushing from any parts of their anatomy, but at the same time neither of them seemed to look as well as they had just a few hours earlier.

"So… Dare I ask how everything went in there?" She asked as she gripped Sam's arm to stop him and give him a closer inspection.

Dean had a brief coughing fit before he straightened up and haphazardly waved his hands answering, "Don't you worry about a thing Toni, they kissed and made up so all's right with the world."

Toni offered Dean her shoulder to lean on (which he promptly rejected) while they all walked down the rest of the way toward their vehicles. After Dean finished his statement, Toni stopped dead in her tracks asking in a near enraged tone, "What? All…? ALL of those people were killed because of some stupid jealousy bullshit?"

Sam contemplated wrapping a comforting arm around his girlfriend, but she turned to face him with a scary look on her face. They both stared at each other, completely ignoring Dean, but as the younger Winchester opened his mouth to reply, Toni raised an accusatory finger towards his face saying, "See? This is why monogamy doesn't fucking work! Sooner or later one of you always strays and the other has to find some fucking way to deal with the betrayal!"

Toni's eyes remained trained on Sam as Dean waved his hands behind her back to silently tell his brother that he was retreating to the sanctuary of his car while the two of them 'worked' things out. Sam nodded (nearly imperceptibly) then he took a tentative step forward to try to comfort and reason with his girlfriend.

"Is…? Is that how you really feel?" He questioned in the same tone that a negotiator would use to talk a jumper off a ledge. "Does that…? Are you unhappy with where we are right now in our relationship?"

He reached out to her, but Toni turned her back on him and further closed herself off by hugging her arms tightly around her torso. She was shaking her head emphatically and Sam had to step so close to her that they were almost touching in order to hear what she was saying.

"No," she whispered to herself. "I still love you." Suddenly she stood upright and turned back to look at him, but she ended up with a face full of his broad chest instead. She gripped one of his forearms almost uncomfortably tight so that she wouldn't lose her footing as she took a step back and quietly added, "No… I'm happy with you… But…" She was finally able to look up at him and Sam tried his best to ignore the tears in her eyes because he knew that if he acknowledged them that she would probably shut down on him without finishing her thought. "But… If you are going to… Just… Just tell me first, okay?"

Sam watched her try to hold her tears at bay while he tried to work through his confusion to understand what she was asking of him in such a sad tone. She then quickly darted her eyes away from his gaze and would have run away were it not Sam's strong grasp on her arm.

"Toni," he stared sadly. She just shook her head hoping that she could somehow keep him from saying what she feared the most. Realization hit Sam hard and he scooped Toni into a hug and lifted her off the ground as he embraced her close to his chest. "Toni… I don't plan on giving you up any time soon. I love you."

Without struggling in his arms, Toni sniffled then said, "Everyone says that they didn't plan it and that it just happened…"

Sam put Toni down and turned her so that he could make firm eye contact with her while they had this intimate conversation. "And I don't want anything to 'just happen' with anyone but you."

A few tears escaped out of her eyes, so Sam brushed them away before holder her face gently in both of his hands. She placed a hand over each of his and turned his eyes to his face and said, "Even if I'm a total basket case who keeps freaking out about our relationship?"

"I think that despite the difficulties associated with that," Sam teased "that my feelings won't be changing easily." Toni smiled self-consciously and Sam leaned down to kiss her before saying, "I think Dean's kind of anxious to get out of here."

"Right… Of course," she replied as she dried her face on her sleeve in order to straighten herself out. "I'll follow you guys to your motel… I was planning on checking in somewhere tonight, so I'm all packed and ready to get the fuck out of here too." She took Sam by the hand and laced their finger together then brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. "I love you too Sam. I'm sorry if I don't show you that more often."

As soon as Dean had the door to the Winchesters' room open, Toni hurried past them announcing, "I just want to quickly wash my face."

She didn't quite make it to the bathroom before she ran into a man who was a slight bit taller than herself with a lean build and buzzed cut hair. He grabbed one of her arms, turned her against his chest and clamped a hand over her mouth before she could scream or make any other sound to alert the brothers. When she struggled and tried to wriggle out of his grasp, he used his preternatural strength to easily pick her up and carry her back to the main part of the hotel room.

"It's been a long day," Dean stated with a tired, defensive tone.

The unknown male threw Toni at Sam's feet saying, "And it's not over yet."

The Winchesters spun around quickly and Dean automatically had his gun raised and pointed, ready to fire. Toni scrambled to her feet and tried her best to hide behind Sam before he was able to offer her any type of aid. When he realized what she was doing, he gently pushed her and wrapped an arm around her waist until he was confident that she was completely shielded by his body.

"Hi Sam. Hi Dean," the man said as if they were all old friends.

Toni gripped the back of Sam's jacket and peaked around his body at the intruder as Sam asked, "Do we know you?"

"Well I definitely know you. You're the dead guys… Well you will be. Oh…" He nodded at Toni as he added, "And some random chick who picked the wrong brothers to experiment with for the night. Sorry sweetheart."

Before Toni could react to what he had said, Dean shot the unwanted male in the upper portion of his left chest. When Toni saw that he bled black goo instead of a bright red like a normal human, she crawled over the bed to her right in a futile attempt to put as much space as possible between her and the thing that was blocking the door.

The bullet seemed to be rejected by the stranger's body as the three humans watched it fall to the floor with horrified fascination. "Sorry, you're a bit out matched."

The intruder stepped forward and punched Dean so hard that he not only dropped his pistol but he was also thrown over the foot of his bed and landed hard on the floor. Sam stepped forward and tried to land a punch that the shorter male easily blocked. Before he could grab Sam by the throat, Toni fell to her knees and crawled under Sam's bed to hide. She had felt the man's unnatural strength and was hoping to put any obstacles that she could between herself and him before he had a chance to kill her.

Toni had managed to curl into a tight ball with her hands cover her ears as she chanted, "No" over and over so she missed the exchange between the Winchesters and Don Stark. After Don had departed, Dean left the room to get some rope or anything else he could find to tie up their prisoner, which left his brother to coax Toni out from under the bed solo.

"Toni?" Sam called out softly once he was on all fours. "Toni?" She had started rocking gently, but didn't seem to be able to hear him at all. He maneuvered himself under the bed's frame as far as he could get to tap her on the back between her shoulder blades which caused her to jump so violently that she smacked her head on the underside of the bed as she issued a terror filled scream. "TONI!" He yelled louder over her unintelligible whimpering. "Toni! It's me! Sam!"

She still didn't seem to hear him, but he was able to grab one of her arms to pull her out from under the confines of the bed. She didn't protest, so once he had dragged her out to the open space between the two beds, Sam picked Toni up and sat on his bed with her on his lap.

Sam was rocking her gently as she continued to absentmindedly say, "I don't want to die… Please, please don't hurt me… I don't want to die… Please, please don't hurt me…" when Dean came back into the room. He gave Sam a questioning look to which the younger Winchester shrugged and softly shook his head. Dean let his concern show in his eyes before he simply turned to give his full attention to physically binding the man that was currently laying, magically bound, on the floor.

"Toni?" Sam tried again as he forced her to sit back so that he could look at her face. She kept her eyes squeezed shut tight while she continued her two lines of protest over and over without actually hearing a word that her boyfriend was saying to her. Sam look over in his brother's direction, but Dean's attention remained laser focused on their new foe, so Sam decided to try something less conventional to get through to Toni.

Sam tangled his fingers into the hair at the back of Toni's head to move it into position and then he leaned down to place his mouth over hers. At first she didn't respond and just continued her unconscious commentary, but Sam continued to kiss and lick at her mouth until she was nearly forced to respond. He jumped slightly when her hands gripped his hair almost painfully tight so that she could force their mouths even closer together.

Once they had kissed each other breathless, Toni released Sam's lips with a loud pop. She then pet his cheek and sat up in his lap then worriedly asked, "Sam? Where…? Where's that…?"

He quickly hugged her against his chest and held her head to his shoulder saying, "Don't worry about him… Turns out that domestic bliss makes Don more than accommodating…" Toni grabbed Sam's hand off of her head so that she could look up and frown angrily at him. He kissed her forehead, turned her chin so that she could see Dean as he finished hog-tying their unwelcomed guest and then explained, "Don bound him with a spell and save us all."

Toni wrapped her arms around Sam's torso laughing sadly and said, "Sam and Dean Winchester, Marriage Counselors… Who would have thought?"

After he secured the last lock on the chains, Dean cleared his throat to get his brother's attention. "I'm happy to give you two a minute, but Sam…"

"Yeah, I know," Sam interrupted immediately. Dean nodded then turned towards the door to exit into the parking lot outside. Toni's eyes remained on the unconscious, bound man… Thing on the floor until Sam cupped her chin to force her to face him again. "So we should…"

"Get going to find out how we can fucking kill those things," Toni finished for him.

Sam nodded as Toni moved off of his lap to stand on her own once again. As soon as she was on her feet her knees buckled and Sam's hands catching her were the only things that kept her from landing hard onto the ground. Toni laughed it off nervously as Sam sat her on the bed and tried to give him a strong smile.

"Or maybe I should make that 'Dean and I' should get going," Sam said somewhat uneasily. "He didn't seem to know you at all, but he did know us… So I was thinking that it might be safe if we split up…" Toni's eyebrows knitted together and her lip quivered causing Sam to add, "Our room's paid up and I thought you might want to rest before driving…"

When he trailed off, Toni studied his face closely and rapidly changed her response to say, "Tell Bobby to call me if he needs anything that I can bring to Montana for you guys, okay?"

Sam let out a relieved sigh as he pecked her lips and said, "I'll do that. Thanks Toni."

Before Toni could tell Sam that she should be thanking him for giving her such an easy out, Dean came back into the room holding a black cloth sack. He gave both of them a questioning look as he fitted the bag over their captive's head, but it was Toni that answered, "I'm going to stay behind while you guys head out and I'll settle the bill tomorrow."

Dean stood up and looked like he was going to say something to the contrary, so she interjected, "I'm fine with it Dean. You guys have your hands full with… It, so you really shouldn't have to worry about my fragile ego on top of that."

Dean slipped his dufflebag onto his shoulder then nodded. "Alright, thanks Toni. Hopefully we'll see you sooner than later."

Sam passed her the room key, kissed her cheek and leaned in close to quietly say, "I'll call you later."

She smiled then replied, "No rush. I'm exhausted and could really use the rest."

With that Sam grabbed the unconscious man's upper body while Dean picked up his legs and the Winchesters left Toni alone in the room to have what they hoped would be a proper night's sleep.


	31. There's a Lock, Someone's Stolen the Key

_**Toni looked up from her notebook trying her best not to show the confusion she felt as she authoritatively asked, "So when all of this good fortune started, she had just met, and I quote, literally the man of her dreams, end quote? Did I hear that right Jackie?"** _

_**The distraught university freshman removed her glasses to wipe a tissue over her eyes as she answered, "Yes… And I swear Agent that she uses that exact same phrase all of the time too. She comes home all of the time after being with him gushing about how she swears that she dreamed him into being or something." Toni nodded thoughtfully and jotted down a couple of notes causing Jackie to quickly put on her glasses as she added, "I know it normally doesn't sound strange for a freshman girl to say stuff like that, but you have to know Dayna to completely understand why it's really weird. Dayna… She… She's like the most practical person I know. All she ever talks about is finishing her degree and getting her Masters… I mean she did before meeting Seth and before… before… Oh dear I mean all she used to… Oh man…"** _

_**When her interviewee broke down again, Toni placed her notebook on the coffee table to pluck out a couple of tissues from the box staring them both in the face from its spot on the table. As she passed them to Jackie, Toni took one of the college student's hands sympathetically replying, "I know that this is a really hard time for you and I'm so sorry that I had to have you go over all of this with me again right now, but it truly is a huge help to me and my investigation." Jackie nodded as she blew her nose and Toni added with a soft chuckle, "And to be honest, Dayna sounds like a kindred spirit to me. I was the same way when I was in college."** _

_**Jackie laughed quietly through her tears saying, "My mom wishes I was more focused on my studies and less about parties and that Dayna will… I mean would have rubbed off on me." She shuddered out a sob and then forced herself to take a deep breath as she set her shoulders and tried to compose herself. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. It's just… just…"** _

_**Toni squeezed her arm then countered Jackie's self-deprecating statement, "I was worse when I lost one of my friends, so please don't worry about apologizing to me. And thank you again for answering my questions. If I find out anything, I promise that I'll let you know."** _

_**Toni pulled out another card, placed it on the coffee table beside the box of tissues and said, "Your school actually has some excellent counseling services, so you should really give them a call, okay?" Jackie's tears seemed to fall harder and faster as Toni spoke, so she stood up quickly offering, "I'll see myself out. Again… I'm so sorry… And… You have my number as well so please call if you need anything from me, alright?"** _

_**Jackie just nodded into the wad of tissues she had pressed to her face as Toni gathered her things and quietly left the room. The hallways were busy with the usual after class crowd and Toni easily fell into the flow of the foot traffic until she made it outside. There had been three suspicious deaths on campus of the past month and after talking with the roommates of all three victims, she thought that she had found a vague pattern, but still didn't have a solid theory of what she was hunting just yet.** _

_**As she walked she double checked that she had her other notebooks in her bag before she found somewhere that she could go over all of the information that she had gathered thus far. She decided to find a semi-quiet table at a small café because she had skipped lunch and knew that sooner than later her hunger pains would override her ability to think clearly. During her time at Stanford, more than one assignment had needed to be completely re-written because she had neglected to eat which had led to awkward tangents that had taken her from talking about a specific aspect of law to her describing, in vivid detail, her favorite meals from different restaurants.** _

_**After she had her meal ordered Toni started reading through the notes she had taken during her interviews and jotted down the similarities on a separate notepad. She was so focused on trying to connect the dots of this latest case that she barely thanked her server for bringing her order to her table and began to eat her meal absentmindedly.** _

" _ **Excuse me Miss?" A deeply masculine voice questioned to finally bring Toni out of her thoughts.**_

_**Toni checked over her shoulder, but only saw a broad chest so she sat up straight and turned fully around. That didn't help her to look at the intruder in the face because he was so tall that she had to tilt her head back to find his face. He smiled softly which made his ice blue eyes twinkle brightly. When she finally met his eyes, he dipped his chin slightly causing his jet black bangs to fall across his forehead which gave him the air of the same boyish charm that had made Toni's heart melt for Sam from day one.** _

_**By some miracle Toni managed not to blush even though she felt her heart beat quicker as she calmly asked, "Yes? Can I help you with something?"** _

" _ **I'm sorry to disturb you while you're working so hard, but…" He gestured vaguely to the busy café behind him. "There's been a bit of a rush, so I was wondering if you'd mind sharing your booth."**_

_**Toni looked beyond his bulky frame at the now completely full room and she finally did blush. When she had first come in, the café had been practically empty so she had claimed a roomy booth to spread out her notes to make studying them easier. Since she was still on the campus of the college, she hoped that she would just look like she was a well-dressed student who was pouring over class notes for an assignment so that she wouldn't stick out too much.** _

_**As she tried to clear a spot on the table, Toni slid over to one side of the booth shyly saying, "Of course I wouldn't mind."** _

_**He grinned happily, dropped his backpack on the floor and sat down. "Thanks. And again I'm sorry that I interrupted you while you were working so hard and all, but I just…"** _

_**Toni caught him eyeing her notebooks so she quickly closed them answering, "No, no it's fine. I think I just got so caught up in my work that I forgot that other people… Like students who actually pay to go to school here might need to eat too."** _

_**He gave the server that had almost magically appeared at the table his order before turning his attention back to Toni. "Oh well that makes it sound like you aren't a student here."** _

_**Toni laughed softly and shook her head replying, "No sorry those days are so far behind in my rear view mirror that they're beyond blurry." Her new companion didn't seem to completely understand her joke, so Toni extended her right hand over the table saying, "Let me introduce myself. I'm Special Agent Clydie Anderson."** _

" _ **Special… Agent…" He mumbled as his grip on her hand slackened slightly. "Umm… Well I'm Sophomore History Major Tom Kent."**_

" _ **Good to meet you Tom," Toni replied before she could laugh out loud at the thought that just popped into her head.**_ **Tom Kent? Seriously? You take over someone that's the spitting image of Tom Welling and THAT'S the best alias you could come up with?**

_**Toni noticed that her new companion was still eyeing up her paperwork, so she tried to close that last few notebooks that remained open as discretely as possible while he asked, "Are you here looking into the recent student deaths? Because I had heard that they were all suicides, weren't they?"** _

" _ **Well," Toni replied with a sly smile. "No one will know for sure if someone doesn't double check, now will we?"**_

_**He sat up straight and looked around the still busy café and somewhat worriedly asked, "Oh are you expecting your partner? Did…? Did I steal their seat?"** _

" _ **No," she replied with a confused look on her face. "I don't have anybody meeting me."**_

" _ **Oh, I thought that on these kinds of cases that you guys always work in pairs. Safety in numbers and all, you know?"**_

_**Tom raised a challenging eyebrow to Toni as he started to eat his meal. Toni hadn't been ready for anyone that would be questioning her credentials since she hadn't run into it up until now, but she managed not to let her face betray her. To cover up that she was trying to come up with a plausible excuse for traveling alone, Toni took a long drink of her water and just shrugged.** _

" _ **You know how it is with budget cuts these days. They send in the rookie to do all of the preliminary interviews and everything." She shrugged again. "That way they don't have to waste the Senior Agents time if it's nothing, but they can still steal all of the glory if it does turn out to be something big."**_

_**He jutted his chin towards her notebooks and asked with his mouth still partially full of food, "And this situation would be something? Nothing? Or…?"** _

" _ **It's under investigation so I'm not at liberty to discuss the details of it at this time," Toni replied with what she hoped was a good imitation of Dean's self-satisfied smirk that she had seen him wear in similar situations.**_

_**Toni then stood up and pulled out her wallet saying, "Well Mr. Kent I should leave you to your meal and your studies." Their server appeared with Toni's bill so she quickly pulled out a few bills and handed them to her. As she put on her jacket, Toni flashed Tom a warm smile saying, "And it was an honor to share my table with you."** _

_**While Toni was buttoning up her knee length, black trench style jacket, Tom gripped her wrist tightly causing a quick shiver to run down Toni's spine. She tried to cover up the fact that his touch made her skin crawl by smiling sweetly to try to make it look like she was attracted to and not repulsed by him.** _

_**It seemed to work because he returned her smile and started slowly stroking her wrist with this thumb as he replied, "No Special Agent Anderson, the pleasure was ALL mine."** _

_**Toni slipped her hand out of his hold and just nodded before making her somewhat hasty retreat. It took her another full day before she felt like she had enough confirmation of where she would find her latest foe. Tom seemed to stick to his class schedule, that she as an officer of the law had 'legally' obtained, and she was able to easily follow him back to his apartment building. Since it was practically on campus, it looked like the security of the building was as lax as any of the dormitories, so she was feeling fairly confident and mentally patted herself on the back while she finished her final preparations because she was going to finish this job without having had to call either Winchester or Bobby.** _

_**Since she now knew that she was hunting a shape shifter, Toni made sure that her largest silver knife was the easiest for her to access from her underarm sheath, but she wasn't stupid so she made sure that that wasn't the only weapon she had with her. She could almost hear her dad (and Bobby and Sam AND Dean) mocking her for not being properly prepared in case of any worse case scenarios, so she slipped the custom made iron knife that her dad had given to her recently for 'no apparent reason' into its sheath in her right boot. (His exact words were that he had just found it 'laying around the townhouse' and thought that Toni could use it, but the smile on his face told her that he was particularly proud of the purchase so she made sure to always carry it with her.) In a small duffle bag she packed up her two flasks of Holy Water, a canister of rock salt and a box of chalk (not that she truly foresaw needing to or having the time to trace out any rendition of the picture of the Devil's Trap she had stuffed into the box of chalk, but she figured it couldn't hurt to have it with her anyway.)** _

_**At the apartment building, Toni joined a group of party goers and had to stifle a scornful laugh at the fact that none of them seemed to care that their classmates were dropping like flies while they just celebrated whatever random achievement they felt deserved getting blackout drunk. Well maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but she still thought that they should have been more aware of the random girl in jeans and form fitting black sweater and faux leather bomber jacket that they had just handed a cold, unopened beer to on their way into the building. She rode the elevator with all eight of them to their floor, but lingered in the back corner until the doors closed again so that she could ride it back down to 'Tom's' floor.** _

_**He was supposed to be in class right then so Toni was able to relax somewhat while she picked his lock because she had planned so that she would have more than enough time to get situated inside in order to execute her ambush. She said a brief prayer of thanksgiving that she heard the lock pop open before anyone could wander down the hallway and catch her in the act. As she slipped through the door, Toni mentally noted that she owed Sam an extra special 'Thank You' for spending some of their spare time together working with her after she and Dean had found him in Montana because he had helped her so much to perfect her lock picking technique.** _

_**Once she was in his apartment, Toni set her duffle bag down under a table immediately to the right of the door and then set herself checking out each of the rooms. Toni wasn't sure which one would be the best to execute her plan, but her quest to choose the perfect locale was quickly cut short by the sound of a key in the door lock. Since practically the entire length of the living room and all of its furniture separated Toni from her duffle bag, she opted to duck behind the bar that separated the living room from the small kitchen area of his one bedroom apartment hoping it wouldn't tip him off that she was there.** _

**Fuck! FUCK! I had an hour!** _**Toni thought frantically as she tried to keep herself from panicking and pulled her sleeve back to check the time on her watch.** _ **Bastard! He's supposed to be in his… Oh… Right, shape shifter… Guess they don't need a B.A. Damn it! Damn it! Okay… Okay… Think… Think….**

_**Toni tried to track Tom's movements the best that she could and instinctively held her breath when she realized that his footsteps were walking towards her.** _

" _ **Agent Anderson? Is that you?" Tom called out in a sing-song voice from the other side of the island. Toni pressed her back against the cabinets as she took in a shallow breath hoping he wouldn't hear her. "Oh don't be like that… I could smell your intoxicating scent on the elevator ride up and… Mmm it just got stronger as I came home. Please? Pretty please? Come out come out wherever you are."**_

**Shifters…? Sense of smell…?** _**Toni thought to herself. She couldn't immediately recall anything that said that shape shifters had an acute sense of smell, but then again a silver knife through the heart would kill a werewolf all the same.** _ **Alright, deep breath. You can still do this. Nothing has changed.** _**She coached herself as she slowly stood up with her hands tucked behind her back.** _

" _ **Ah… There you are… And what brings you to my humble abode Special Agent Clydie Anderson?" He questioned calmly as he gestured for her to come closer.**_

" _ **I… Uhh… I really… Umm…" Toni said as she moved out of the kitchen. "I was… Umm… Hoping that you could maybe help me with this case…"**_

_**Tom smiled snidely in his place but didn't move at all as Toni stepped closer, but she made sure to keep a wide berth with the wall of the living room to her right at her back. "Help? Me? What could a humble undergraduate like me do to help a big strong SPECIAL Agent of the FBI like you?"** _

_**Even though she tried to stop herself, Toni couldn't help but issue a snort of derision as she replied, "Right you're JUST a college student… Well then I guess I'm the fucking Queen of England. I know what you are and you fucking know why I'm here."** _

_**Tom moved at the speed of light and Toni had no time to react before he had her pinned against the wall with his body. She did however have just enough time to take in a deep breath before Tom's right hand gripped her tightly around the neck. Toni knew she shouldn't show her fear but he started to squeeze her throat saying, "Such language Miss Anderson. You could easily corrupt a boy like me using words like that."** _

" _ **Fuck… You…" Toni huffed out with the little bits of air that she could take in around his crushing grasp.**_

_**Tom leaned his face in so close that their cheeks touched as he breathed in her scent then whispered, "Mmm… You smell like heaven… But you aren't going to tell me your real name, are you Beautiful?"** _

_**Toni had already pulled her silver knife out of its sheath and kept it behind her back during her entrance, so she slowly moved her hand as he spoke until the blade was raised up and above the back of his left shoulder area as she replied, "I'm fucking Lara Croft."** _

_**Even before she was finished her statement, Toni was plunging her knife into Tom's back with all of the strength that she could muster in the moment. She hadn't had a chance to use this knife yet, so it was as razor sharp as the day that she had bought it which meant I sliced easily through his flesh. She let out a long sigh of relief when the blade when in almost to the hilt because she was confident that she had been able to reach his heart and may have even punctured it. If that was accomplished than everything was still actually going according to plan.** _

_**Toni had just barely started to allow herself to relax when she realized that Tom's grip on her throat hadn't slackened in the least. She slowly turned her eyes from his chest up to his face and was met with a smile so sinister that it made her almost physically ill. He tried to reach the hilt of the knife with his left hand so that he wouldn't have to release her neck, but it was too high up on his back for him to do so. Toni was starting to lose the color from her face so Tom felt assured that he had sapped most of the fight out of her and he released her to let her drop like a dead weight down the six inches he had been holding her above the ground. Toni figured that this thing thought that she had blanched from a lack of oxygen as opposed to the sheer panic she was feeling, so she happily played the part of an oxygen deprived victim while she crumpled into a ball on the floor.** _

_**Tom took a few steps away from her while he worked the blade out of his back commenting with an overly (and out of place) humorous tone, "Now that kind of tickled… What is this knife made of Agent Anderson?" Toni was already crawling over to the couch so that she could use it to pull herself to her feet once again. While she tried to catch her breath, Ton had pulled the blade out and ran it under his nose as if he was taking in the scent of a long lost loved off of one of their pieces of clothing. "Mmm… Silver…" He locked his eyes on Toni where she appeared to be holding onto the couch for dear life. "Silly, silly girl… You thought I was a shifter, didn't you?"** _

_**Toni continued to try to play up the defeated victim vibe she had going on for her and bit her quivering lip as she nodded rapidly. To her surprise, Tom was completely eating up the aura of fear that appeared to be emanating from Toni as he slowly approached her. When he got within a foot of Toni, Tom nonchalantly tossed the knife towards his door while still smiling brightly all the while.** _

" _ **You must be new at all of this," he observed with a chuckle. He then reached out to Toni and stepped even closer saying, "Too bad you…"**_

_**Toni easily cut him off by thrusting her iron knife deep into his heart. As she pulled it out, Tom fell to his knees and gasped out, "Iron…"** _

_**Toni didn't wait to see if Tom was down for a count before turned around to swipe her silver knife off the floor with her right hand and simultaneously pulled her duffle bag out with her left. She had just finished slipping the two bloody knives into the bag and was pulling out a bottle of Holy Water when Tom body checked her, full force, into the door. As a result of the impact, Toni dropped her duffle bag, but managed to hold onto the flask of Holy Water.** _

_**Tom thrust his body against Toni's back to keep her pinned against the door as he whispered, "Now that actually hurt… But then again all it truly accomplished was putting an end the life of this overly handsome specimen." Toni shuddered out a breath as Tom flipped her around so he could look her in the face. She had a vivid flash back to the last time she had a run in with a with some demons when she was fighting alongside the Winchesters and Bobby, so she tried to evoke those emotions the best that she could while he pet her face saying sweetly, "Oh Beautiful don't feel bad about doing that for me… Another soul ripe for the taking? That's all I've wanted while I was here."** _

_**Toni squeezed her eyes closed tightly and started to whisper the exorcism Sam had helped her to memorize, but her thoughts were racing so fast that she stumbled over her words. Tom gripped her by the throat again to silence her when he realized what she was trying to do and warned her in a low, sinister voice, "Don't you even think about finishing that you worthless little whore... Yeah, that's right; I can smell the impurity on you… It's intoxicating."** _

" _ **What…?" Toni started in wide-eyed surprise. She had never taken to being called a 'slut' or a 'whore' in the past and in all honesty nothing had changed for her since high school or college. As her anger overtook any other emotion that she had been feeling, she wrenched his hand off of her throat then kicked him as hard as she could with her right foot. Before she could take in his reaction, Toni whipped the top off her bottle in her right hand and tossed the Holy Water over his face and every available inch of exposed flesh that it could find.**_

_**While Tom was trying to dry the acid-like liquid from his face, Toni recovered as quickly as anyone ever could. She threw the now empty flask into her bag and then pulled out her canister of salt. After she pulled open the door she thought about checking on Tom but decided that she couldn't afford to revel in her triumph just yet. Instead she stepped into the hallway and just barely caught the image of the advancing wall of a man as she shook out a wide line of salt as quickly as it would pour for her.** _

_**Tom seemed to be running full speed towards her until he hit the invisible wall that the salt had created in the doorway. Toni jumped back until her back hit the wall on the opposite side of his door. As she watched him struggle against the invisible barrier, she finally realized that she was safe so she took a few slow breaths to calm herself so that she could try to keep from hyperventilating. As she pressed herself against the wall, Toni somehow remembered that she had a recipe card with the lines that Sam had taken so much time to help her to memorize.** _

_**Toni looked down at the card and then back up at the now beyond angry demon. When she saw Tom's reaction to being trapped in the apartment, Toni was able to finally gain some confidence as she recited through painfully strained vocal chords, "Exorizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica protestas, omnis incursion infenndis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregation et decta diabolica. Ergo, draco maledicte. Ecclesiam tuam secure tibi facias libertate servire, te rogimus, audi nos."** _

_**As soon as Toni finished her recitation Tom froze in his place. Embarrassingly enough, Toni almost fell back onto her behind as she watched him in horrified fascination while Tom expelled a long plume of black smoke before his body flopped to the ground. Toni ended up just sitting against the wall staring into the apartment for a few moments gaping at the now still corpse and immediately realized what she now needed to do.** _

_**For no apparent reason, Toni's dad had convinced her to never leave home without at least one canister of 'Lysol Disinfectant Wipes', so Toni checked for that plastic container in her bag before doing anything else. After she found it, Toni pulled out no less than five wipes before she moved to check Tom's corpse for any signs of life. When she had confirmation that he had no pulse, Toni quickly worked to wipe down anything that she thought that she could have potentially touched. After that was done, Toni cleaned up any trails of blood she found on the hardwood floor of the apartment while she prayed earnestly and with all her heart for God to forgive her for taking a life (inadvertently) of an innocent person during the pursuit to expel evil from Earth.** _

_**When Toni felt confident that she had covered her tracks, she closed the door to the suite and wiped down the knob with a new cleanser wipe. As she stuffed that mound of white semi-moist cloths back into her duffle bag, Toni quadruple checked that she had everything she had arrived with before facing Tom, while also forcing herself to walk calmly to the elevator. She knew that ultimately it was the job of any police department to find a killer, but she still hated having to do anything that might impede an investigation for the local PD even if it was necessary. But then she reminded herself of a simple fact: How do you prove to people that don't believe in demons that it was one of them to blame for all of the carnage that the city and campus had encountered and that she really hadn't meant to kill a human while she exorcised a demon?** _

_**Toni had made it all the way to the main entrance before she jumped at the sensation of her cell phone vibrating. As she exited the apartment building into the fresh outdoor air, Toni hoarsely answered her phone, "Hey… Sam… How goes it?"** _

" **I'm fine, but are you sure that you're okay? I hate to say it Toni but I have to admit that your voice sounds more than a little off,"** _ **Sam answered sounding both winded and concerned.**_

_**She had finally made it to the sanctuary of her truck and had been able to catch her breath and clear her throat to reply (although her voice still sounded more rough and gravelly than she had hoped it would), "It's nothing. I think that I might have caught something while working a case on a college campus. You know students and their germs and all…"** _

" **Huh that I do… Sorry just give me two seconds."**

_**Suddenly Toni found herself going from a good natured 'macho-match' conversation with Sam to an overly earnest conversation with Dean and she tried her best to end it as soon as possible until he brought up a topic that she couldn't ignore even if she tried harder. Toni had been meaning to bring up some of Sam's concerns to his brother, but she had hoped that she would have been able to do it on a day that a demon hadn't tried to choke the life out of her. But since the opportunity arose on its own, she rallied the best that she could to get through everything she had been planning to say for months and hadn't had the guts to until he vaguely broached the subject first.** _

_**Toni was able to hold her own with Dean because she could easily hide the severity of the damage done to her larynx through using laughter and genuine tears while they talked. She even managed to hide her relief when she heard him say,** _ **"Sam'll call you later, okay?"**

" _ **Yeah… Sure…" She replied into the dial-tone emanating from her phone.**_

_**Now that she didn't have to be 'okay' anymore, Toni dropped her cell onto her passenger seat with a loud grateful sigh. Neither brother seemed to catch onto her current predicament due to her artful deflection, so she took this time to catch her breath and to survey the surface of the damage. Toni had expected her injury to be quite severe based on the amount of pain she was feeling, but when she checked her reflection in the rear view mirror, all she saw were some prominent pink spots clustered around her neck. She of course knew that they were more than a promise of the dark bruises to come, but she figured that she didn't have to worry much about them since she had no plausible leads for a job on the immediate horizon which would give her time to heal.** _

" _ **Okay… Relax," she told herself out loud as she tried to keep herself from starting to panic because right now even breathing hurt her throat. She was just starting to riffle through her glove box to try to find a mint or a cough candy or at least a pain killer to try to soothe her throat when she heard her phone vibrating again. She couldn't help but cringe when she heard how strained her voice sounded when she answered, "Hey Dad."**_

_**The Colonel could hear the troubles Toni was having when she swallowed and allowed his worry to show in his tone when he spoke.** _ **"Angel? What was it? What did it do to you? How bad are you hurt?"**

" _ **Demon… It was a demon and he choked me. But I'm fine Dad, it's nothing some ice and a cup of tea can't fix."**_

" **A demon? Really? And you were able to exorcise it on your own?"**

_**Toni laughed softly, which immediately turned into a painful cough. She just barely breathed out an 'Ow' before she was able to recover and reply, "Don't sound so surprised Dad. Sam taught me everything I needed to know so, yes I did manage to do it all on my own."** _

" **Oh Toni I… I didn't mean it like that… I just… Angel I'm just so… I'm impressed that you did so well your first time going up against a demon on your own. I'm not at all surprised that you beat it, I'm just in awe of how amazing my daughter is."**

" _ **Dad… Stop. You're making me blush."**_

" **It's all true Toni,"** _ **he insisted in a soft, firm tone.**_ **"But since you asked so nicely I'll stop."**

" _ **Thanks Dad I appreciate it. But since it was my turn to call you, what did you need to tell **…?"**  
**_

_**Toni's dad chuckled as he was with a bit of a tease,** _ **"I keep forgetting how smart you are… Well I wanted to check into see how you were doing on this last job…"**

_**When he trailed off, Toni prompted her dad saying, "Because…"** _

" **Well it really doesn't matter because you'll need to rest so you can heal. Don't worry about it at all. Oh and just ignore the last email I sent you."**

" _ **Email?" Toni quickly grabbed her laptop out of its hiding place and booted it up to log into her email. "Dad I'm not that badly injured. See? Even talking is easier. Plus now that you've piqued my curiosity, it really wouldn't be fair for you not to share."**_

" **Alright, but if you aren't feeling up to it, I don't want you to push and do anything that could get you hurt even worse than you normally might."** _ **He paused until Toni softly said "I promise I won't Sir."**_ **"Okay… Well the email spells everything out including the pattern I've been able to put together."**

" _ **Yeah looks like you've done all of the hard work for me. I should be able to get there before nightfall. I'll call you when I reach Prosperity."**_

" **I think you mean the 'boring' stuff. The hard work is out there in the field, which is why your old man is staying home. Now you drive safe and I'll talk to you later. I love you Angel."**

_**Toni was glad that she could blame the hoarseness of her tone on her injury instead of the tears that caused a lump to form in her throat. "I love you too Dad… And I WILL talk to you soon."** _

_**As soon as Toni had disconnected the call, she went to let out a sigh that ended up coming out as a sputtered sob. She tried her best to just breathe through the desire to cry, but her tears overtook her too quickly for her to stop them. In the past she had been hurt much worse than what this demon had done to her, but back then it been mostly because of her carelessness, not because the thing she was hunting couldn't be killed by a well-placed blade or bullet or lit match. Back then she also didn't have anyone that was waiting for her to come home alive either. But now she had to fight demons that laughed off her skills with weapons and hand to hand combat while her dad sat at home waiting for her to return. Before it didn't seem to matter to anyone, including herself if she lived or died (and on the rarest of occasions she was happy to be doing this job because something might kill her and then she could have finally been reunited with her mother and brothers whom she missed so much it hurt), but now she had finally found her calling and had two men who loved her dearly and with whom she wanted to spend time with whenever it was possible. She just recently admitted to herself that she wanted nothing more than to live for them, to live with them, but she was starting to fight things she couldn't out finesse and those two conflicting notions completely terrified her.** _

_**After allowing herself a not so brief moment of weakness to acknowledge how deeply she truly did fear dying now, Toni dried her cheeks with her sleeves then told her reflection, "Alright, fine… Still doesn't mean that you don't go out and do the fucking job." She stared herself in the eyes then added, "But there's no rule saying that you have to keep hunting demons. From now on you will just be leaving that shit alone."** _

Toni was awoken by the sound of the motel room door opening slowly. She had started to move her hand under her pillow to get a grip on her gun but as soon as her palm touched the metal she let her hand fall back onto the mattress. If that thing that Don Stark had bound with magic had friends in town with him then she knew that her gun was more than useless. She opted instead to just play possum and pretend to be dead or sleeping in the hopes that it would realize that she wasn't one of the Winchester brothers and would just leave her alone.

Wheels creaked behind the sound of soft footsteps and Toni held her breath until she heard a woman gasp with surprise. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I was told that this room would be empty."

Toni sat up to face the door and laughed nervously at the sight of the worried face of the motel' maid. "Really Miss I didn't mean to disturb you… I'm so sorry… I was just…"

"It's fine," Toni replied with a dismissive wave. "You're just doing your job and I can be out of your hair in like five minutes so that you can finish it."

The maid was already retreating out the door as she countered, "No, please don't rush on my account. You have two hours until check-out, I'll just come back to clean the room then."

The door was closed before Toni could say 'Thank you'. Even though she'd been told that she didn't have to rush, Toni suddenly wanted nothing more than to see her dad and give him a rib crushing hug. While the sink filled in the bathroom, Toni caught a glimpse of her reflection which answered the question of why the maid had looked so spooked during her hasty retreat. The previously pink markings around her neck now stood out like a dark purple and brownish-green necklace of bruises. With her bed head, blood-shot, sleep deprived eye and the bruises that continued to grow, Toni could only imagine what the maid thought had happened to her in this room.

After washing her face, Toni changed quickly and rushed out of the room to her truck as fast as she could with her luggage in hand. Sam had already told her that he and Dean had paid for the room, but Toni still made sure to leave a sizeable tip behind on the table as a form of apology for nearly traumatizing the maid who had walked in on her sleeping. She knew that the damage on her neck looked worse today than it had in the previous forty-eight hours, but she tried not to pay them much mind because they weren't feeling any worse today.

When she stopped for gas and a quick lunch, Toni tried her best to cover her neck with her hair and the collar of her hoody. She thought that he had done a good job of covering up, but then he noticed that the woman behind the deli counter was eyeing her up and down as covertly as she could while she sliced fresh veggies, meat and cheese for Toni's meal. Toni didn't really think much of it, but then their eyes met and the deli owner blushed darkly and she immediately diverted her eyes back to her hands as she put the finishing touches on Toni's meal. Even though she knew that she had nothing to be embarrassed about, Toni still felt herself sub-consciously shrink back a bit in her spot while she waited for her order.

As she paid for her food, Toni avoided making eye contact with the middle aged woman standing behind the till on the opposite side of the counter in the hopes of continuing on her way a quickly as possible. Once the transaction was complete, Toni mumbled a 'Thank you' as she grabbed the brown paper bag on the counter. When she turned to walk away she was stopped by a hand gripping her wrist tightly.

"I know it really isn't any of my business," Toni heard as she slowly raised her eye to the other woman's face. "But I just can't let you leave without saying something..."

The deli worker looked completely uncomfortable and Toni could tell that the older woman really didn't want to be discussing the elephant in the room which in turn made her relax a tiny bit. She gave the middle aged woman a warm, sincere smile and said, "I know what it looks like and it is very sweet of you to be so concerned for a perfect stranger, but let me put your mind at ease…" Toni pushed her hair off of her shoulders so that her bruises were no longer hidden. "This wasn't done by my boyfriend or a friend and I made sure that the bastard that did this won't be hurting anyone else any time soon."

The look on Toni's face matched the forcefulness in her tone so well that it caused the other woman to release her hand so that she could take a step back. Toni smiled satisfactorily to herself because she hadn't meant to shock the woman so much, but she was happy with the reaction all the same. She picked up her lunch bag and left with the deli worker wondering what Toni had meant when she said that the 'bastard couldn't hurt anyone anytime soon'.

The last leg of her trip home went fairly quickly because Toni avoided having to stop again at all costs, even though her stomach had been growling hungrily for the last hour. She couldn't help but sigh with relief that darken had fallen by the time she reached her dad's townhouse because that mean that she could rest before getting into any details about this last job with her dad. She couldn't see any lights on as she made her way up the walkway so she assumed that the Colonel had already turned in for the night but he still thought that she would be able to make herself something to eat without disturbing him at all.

She left her bag at the bottom of the stairs before heading into the kitchen. Toni figured that any meal that required the use of pot, pans or the microwave would be too noisy so she decided that today would be sandwich day for her, despite her incredible hunger that made her crave something more substantial. Toni then pulled open the fridge and she instantly aw some leftover cuts of a pot roast that she pulled out with a bottle of gourmet Dijon mustard that she had bought the last time she was in town with her dad. Before she closed the door, Toni made sure to also pull out an onion and a head of lettuce to finish off her sandwich as well as a couple of bags of random vegetable that were within reach.

Toni didn't want to leave any dirty dishes (as minimal as they were) out for her dad to worry about in the morning, so she made sure to wash all of them by hand before sitting down to eat her sandwich and fresh cut vegetables.

The silence in the house was slightly unnerving, which caused Toni to jump slightly when the sound of her chewing was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. She knew that the gated community where her dad had retired to was virtually crime free, but she still put her hand on the butt of her gun at the small of her back because she also knew that there was a first time for everything and she didn't want to be caught unprepared. She continued to eat her carrot sticks slowly and quietly while she waited for the intruder to pass by the kitchen because it was on the only route to go deeper into the house.

The Colonel had seen Toni's truck parked out front when he got home, but he hadn't noticed any lights on either so he too had assumed that his daughter had already turned in for the night. She saw her dad before he noticed that the kitchen light was on. She bit her lip to stifle a soft laugh when he continued to tip toe towards the stairs while holding his shoes in his right hand and looked like a teenager trying not to get caught sneaking in after curfew.

Toni cleared her throat loudly and tried her best to imitate the tone of voice her father had used the one and only time he had caught her coming home after curfew. "And just what do you think you're doing young man? When I give you a time to be home, you best be home before then or maybe next time you won't be going out at all."

The Colonel started at the sound of her voice breaking through the silence. Once she came into view he was shaking his head as he entered the room and replied, "That sounds like a pretty persuasive threat." Once he was beside Toni, he had already dropped his shoes to the floor so that he could tilt her chin and kiss her forehead. "It's good to see you Angel."

Toni was smiling brightly but she lost her words when she caught the sad look on her dad's face. He tilted her chin up further so that he could fully see the bruising that had blossomed further around her neck since the last time she had checked her reflection in a mirror. Toni wanted nothing more than to hide the damage from her dad but resisted that urge and just squeezed her eyes shut as he continued to run his thumb gently over the damaged flesh.

"You said that a demon did this?" He finally questioned with a slight warble in his voice. "He did this much…? All this with his bare hands?"

Toni stilled the motion of her dad's fingers and nudged him towards one of the chairs. "Yeah, demons are pretty damn strong." They shared a sad look then Toni started to turn to show her dad the bruising on her arm. She paused for a second and then reminded herself that she had promised him total and complete honesty so she finished twisting her body so that he could see her upper right arm clearly. "And these new things… I think that the Angel called them 'Leviathans'… Are even stronger. It didn't flinch at anything Sam and Dean threw at it."

"Oh dear," the Colonel mumbled as he gripped Toni's wrist tightly before he pulled her towards him so that he could get a closer look. "But I thought that you said that you were hunting a witch… Well witches while you were in Indiana."

"We were," Toni responded in a soft, meek tone. "Actually it was one of the witches that stopped the thing for us."

After she finished her statement, Toni's dad dropped her hand and sat back in his seat. As they sat there in silence, they both avoided looking at each other. After what felt like an hour, Toni had completely lost her formerly ravenous appetite and she pushed her plate away while she stole a quick glance at her dad. He remained motionless with a concerned, pensive look on his face that caused tears to spring up into her eyes.

"Dad? Could I maybe ask you something?" Toni asked without being able to hide the tears in her voice even though she hadn't let any fall out of her eyes yet.

The Colonel's eyes shot up to her face the moment he heard her open her mouth. When he saw the glisten of tears in her eyes, his face softened and he took her hand as he lovingly replied, "Of course you can Angel, you know that."

She gave her dad a tight smile and slowly took her hand back so that she could rip apart a napkin as she said, "Well Sir… Umm it's like this. When that thing showed up at the guys' room I… Uhh… I… I kind of… I completely froze on them…" She paused just long enough for her dad to sigh out a concerned "Angel" before she continued, "I know… I know… But that isn't what I… Anyway what I wanted to ask you was… Umm… How did you do it? I… Umm… I don't mean to insinuate that you would ever be scared, but I… Well… You had to be on the front lines more than once and… Umm…"

Her dad could tell that he was going to lose her to her nervous rambling, so he squeezed her forearm and cut-in sympathetically, "Toni I was scared shitless when I was told that I was going to be shipped overseas."

Toni's jaw dropped open in surprise, but it wasn't at her dad's admission of his having been afraid, it was because she had never heard him openly swear in front of her before. He smirked because he understood what had caused her reaction. "It's more than high time that I acknowledge that you aren't an impressionable teenager anymore and that you are an accomplished woman, so I can speak openly, freely and plainly with you. But just don't abuse this privilege, you hear?" He cautioned with a teasing tone.

"Yes sir," Toni agreed with a soft smile. "But seriously? You were scared to go to war overseas? How…? How'd you…? You know… How'd you do it then?"

"Well," he started as he moved his chair closer to his daughter and took hold of one of her hands. "At first I did what I had to do in order to make my father proud. He was never shy to constantly remind me that I was a McNamara and that I could never do anything that would bring shame to the family name." As her dad spoke, Toni realized that she had been openly gaping at him so she quickly shut her mouth and looked away. The Colonel smiled to himself and turned Toni by the chin to force her to once again make eye contact with him. "Sounds like a familiar speech, doesn't it? Turns out you can inherit more than a name and hair line from your parents. Again I'm so sorry for not actually seeing 'you' while you were growing up."

Toni leaned over to hug him then leaned back to say, "Dad enough of that. We've gone over this already, I don't begrudge my youth at all. We're good on that subject, okay?" He nodded softly, but still had a look in his eye that said that he wasn't finished with that topic so Toni quickly added, "Now you said, 'At first', what came next?"

The Colonel's face softened as his eyes took on a faraway look while he answered, "Next I met your mother. Boy was she a tough one to win over too. Did…? Did I ever tell you that she turned me down the first few times I asked her out?" He paused and chuckled at the look on Toni's face because he knew that she had absolutely no previous knowledge about his early years with her mother. "You know the more I think about it the more I see your mother in you." He brushed away a tear that escape Toni's eyes as she sighed out an embarrassed "Dad". "It's the truth Angel. She was so strong, stubborn, beautiful, resourceful and… Well she wouldn't go out with me unless I proved myself to her, so I had to get over my fears to do just that. So I made sure that any story that could get back to her would do nothing less than impress her."

Toni smiled then teasingly replied, "And lucky for me it seems to have worked."

"It did Angel, it did. And then the day we married, my world completely changed. Instead of doing everything I could to prove my love to her, I was fighting to help change the world so that we could start our family in safety and later no matter where I was I just wanted to make sure that I got home in one piece to you all… Even if I never really told you kids how important you were to me, everything I did was to try to get home to you and to try to make this world a better place for you to live so that you wouldn't have to take up the fight after us."

"Us? You made it through all of the fighting and hell because of us?"

Toni's dad squeezed her hand just before she lunged forward and hugged his neck. She knew she didn't have to hide her reaction, so Toni didn't even try to hide her falling tears as she said, "And I really don't want to die because of you. I really really don't…"

The Colonel hugged Toni tight as he hoarsely replied, "Angel that is quite literally the nicest thing you could say to an old man like me."

"Well it's true," Toni said resolutely after she dried her cheeks on her sleeves. "So that's it? Keep my eyes on the prize and I make it home alive?"

He smoothed down her hair and brushed away a few lingering tears as he tried to reassure her saying, "Sorry Angel, but that's the best advice I have to give you. Now if I may impart one more piece of wisdom?"

Toni chuckled and nodded. "Of course you can Dad."

"No soldier is worth their salt if they don't get all the sleep that they can when the opportunity arises," he replied as he took her by the hand and started to lead her out of the kitchen.

"Yeah, that sounds good, but Dad…"

Toni's dad continued to the stairs without pausing as he interrupted her, "The rest of the cleanup can wait until the morning. Now you go to your room, get ready for bed and I'll be right up with the ice packs."

He saw her hesitate at the bottom of the stairs so the Colonel gave her a gentle shove and somewhat forcefully said, "That's an order soldier."

Toni laughed softly then hugged him again replying, "I just wanted to say thank you Dad… And good night… And I love you."

"I love you too Angel. Now upstairs with you."

It was late in the afternoon before Toni finally awoke of her own accord. She cuddled in tight under her covers while relishing in the feeling of warmth and security that continued to surround her in the moment. Every visit she had with her dad seemed to solidify their relationship by leaps and bounds and she once again cursed herself for not having made it back here sooner. And she once again told herself that she would be making these pit stops more frequent and this time she meant it.

After washing up quickly, Toni made her way downstairs with the primary objective of finding a large, hot cup of coffee. Luckily for her, the coffee pot was still three quarters full and was still steaming hot. She didn't think that she had made much noise, but as she started to savor her first cup of coffee she was taken out of her thoughts by the sound of her dad calling for her.

"Toni? Are you up? If you are, then there's something you really need to see so get your butt in here!" He called out from the living room.

Toni was still sipping her coffee when she entered the room and light-heartedly asked, "Where's the fire Colonel?"

His only answer for his daughter was to nod at a program that was playing on the T.V. Toni sat down on the couch at the end closest to her dad's Lay-Z-Boy recliner. She was just about to ask him what was so fascinating when the last commercial ended and a still frame from a bank's surveillance took up the screen with Sam and Dean smiling sadistically into the camera.

"AGAIN OUR TOP STORY IS OF THE MASS MURDERING BROTHER DUO, DEAN AND SAM WINCHESTER, WHO WERE LAST SEEN IN JERICHO, CALIFORNIA WHERE THIS FOOTAGE WAS CAPTURED," a male's voice narrated over more still photos from surveillance.

"Angel? Where did you say that the boys were heading to after they left you in Indiana?" Her dad asked without taking his eyes off of the television.

Toni was already on her feet and was heading back to the kitchen to retrieve her cell phone. She tried to ignore the fact that her hands were violently shaking while he tried to dial Sam's number and forced her voice to remain steady when she heard Sam's voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey Sam… So last time we talked you and Dean were heading back to Montana with your newest prisoner to see what Bobby could tell you about that thing that attacked us in your room. Umm… Has there been a change of plans? Do you need to talk to me about something?" She asked as calmly as she could while she re-entered the living room.

" _I take it that you've been watching one of the National New channels with your dad,"_ Sam replied without missing a beat. _"Turns out they can shape shift easily too."_

"Holy shit," Toni gasped as she sat back down on the couch. "So they're stronger than demons and they can shape shift at will? Did I hear that right?"

The Colonel must have overheard the panic that wanted to overtake Toni's forced calm demeanor because he reached over and gripped her arm softly. The comforting motion helped to ground her and kept her from completely freaking out while Sam replied.

"Okay," she said more calmly. "So Leviathans… I guess that means that we need to learn everything we can about them."

" _Pretty much,"_ Sam replied somewhat flatly in the hopes that it would help to keep from upsetting her again.

Toni forced in a slow breath through her nose then let it out slowly through her lips before replying, "Okay… The Colonel and I will get on that right away. But… Umm… What are you and Dean going to do? I mean they've killed so many people while wearing your faces and all…"

Sam let out a tension easing laugh then replied, _"You know us too well. Bobby's got a guy that's going to set us up with new fake identities and then we're going to try to find them… Well 'us'… Err… You know what I mean."_

"Yeah I do… Make sure you guys are extra careful okay? Don't get your head blow off by any newbie cops you might freak out. And call if we can help with anything else, okay?"

" _Okay, I will."_

Toni paused for a second then lowered her voice as she said, "Alright. And… Don't forget that I love you."

She could hear the smile on Sam's face when he replied, _"I'll try not to… And I love you too Toni."_

When she hung up her phone, Toni found her dad watching her in a patient silence. Toni gave him an uneasy smile and asked, "So…? Do you have any books on Leviathans here?"

Her dad got up and kissed the top of her head before he replied, "I'm not sure, but we won't know until we check."

When he seemed to linger uncomfortably in his spot by the bookshelf, Toni got up to wrap an arm around his waist and said, "Dad I promise I'll fill you in on the details while we research."*


	32. They Took It Away From Me

"Alright, so if they've been generally known as Sea Monsters since the dawn of time, then maybe dehydration would be bad for them?"

Toni came back into the living room with a cup of coffee in each hand listening intently to her dad's new theory. "Yeah… Maybe keeping them away from water and using something to expedite the dehydration process is the key. What? What's so funny about my theory Angel?"

The look on her dad's face almost made her laugh harder because he looked so innocent and genuinely hurt by her reaction. "I'm sorry dad, really I am. It's great that you're trying to think outside the box, but treating them strictly like Sea Monsters might be looking at their origins a little too literally, you know?"

"Right, right," he agreed with a soft nod. "So what did Bobby have to say?"

"Well he's been working for practically the last twenty four hours straight trying to find something that could incapacitate them. So far beheading them seems to do the trick, but it doesn't actually kill them." Her dad's eyes widened and Toni couldn't help but laugh nervously. "Yeah, somehow the Leviathan reattached its head to its body even though it was chained to a chair. The more I hear about these things, the creepier they seem."

"Decapitation doesn't kill them?" Her dad clarified in stunned disbelief.

"No but it does seem to stop them so long as you keep the head separated from the body."

"Okay," her dad started as a thought-filled scowl settled onto his face. "But how do you get close enough to them to chop their heads off? I mean it isn't like you or the boys can travel around with a nine hundred year old witch to bind them for you or to ask them to sit still so you can do the deed."

"Well lucky for us Bobby's all over that too. He found something that burns them like Holy Water burns demons. It's something called…." She pulled out a piece of paper from her jeans pocked and read, "Sodium borate… Apparently…"

"Industrial cleaner? These things come out of Purgatory, can shape shift at the blink of an eye, they laugh off being shot, they don't react to any known metals, they don't actually die when you cut their heads off their bodies, but they melt if you give them a bath in Borax?"

Toni mirrored the humorous smile on her dad's face, replying with a shrug, "When you say it like that it doesn't sound very impressive, but apparently it was how Sam and Dean were able to take out their clones."

"They… Oh well good… Okay… Well that's definitely good to hear…" The Colonel let his focus wander from their conversation back to the book in his lap, so Toni let the rest of her commentary remain unsaid. After only a few breaths, her dad slammed his book closed, turned to her with a frantic look on his face and exclaimed, "Wait! Does that…?"

Toni placed a gentle hand on his arm saying, "Yes it does dad… The FBI thinks that they're both dead… Again. Just like they did after that whole ordeal in Monument, Colorado."

"Oh, right. They've had practice at being dead already. And they have their new IDs… Right, so they have it all figured out… Oh… Of course they do."

Her dad continued to mumble to himself as he went back to his research, so Toni didn't bother to disturb him when she left the room to retrieve her phone. Since Sam's most recent 'passing', she had spoken to Bobby more than once, but she had yet to hear anything from her boyfriend. Since things had been fairly hectic and chaotic (to say the least) on his end, what with getting arrested and being accused of being psychotic mass murderer, she was willing to let his tardiness in calling her slide. But that sentiment didn't mean that she was going to let him off the hook completely Scot free and without a generous amount of good natured teasing.

"Well… Well… Well… Look who finally…" Toni abruptly cut herself off when she heard Sam softly sniffle in a breath and completely dropped her teasing tone as she asked, "Sam? What's happened? Are you okay?"

" _Yeah, I'm fine… I guess,"_ Sam replied almost timidly. _"But… Uhh… Do you think…? I mean… Would you maybe be able to come and pick me up? I'm sort of stuck here."_

"Pick you… You're…? Umm… You're alone right now?" Toni questioned while covering her fear with her genuine confusion.

" _Yeah… Dean and I… We decided… Well after everything that's happened, we… I… Well I thought it might be high time for you and me to spend some time together before the shit really hits the fan again. I mean… We… You and I haven't really been able to spend more than a few hours alone since…"_

"Mississippi," Toni whispered. After she heard herself, she quickly recovered, "Shit… I guess that doesn't actually count since you… Oh God I didn't mean to bring up… Fuck… Okay I'll try again. Yeah, it's been a while… That's true. But… Are you sure now is a good time for any type of sabbatical with me?"

Sam let out a soft, sardonic laugh before replying, _"Well I don't really foresee things getting any easier on us anytime soon. Plus Dean's already left me here… Stranded… Alone… In the cold… Down by the river…"_

"Alright… Alright. Where are you little Orphan Annie?" Toni questioned through a soft chuckle.

" _Just outside of Ankeny, Iowa. It's about a…"_

"Five hour drive from here… I looked it up when you were in jail," Toni interrupted with an embarrassed tone when Sam softly replied _"Of course you did."_ She was already gathering up her jacket, wallet and keys then added, "I should be able to get there in about four."

" _Toni I'm good to wait… You don't have to get a speeding ticket or anything getting here."_

"Moi? Get a speeding ticket? Never Sam," she replied with a mock offended voice. "Besides, getting pulled over would just delay me, so that would be counterproductive. I'll see you in a bit, just sit tight."

The Colonel caught the very end of Toni's conversation, but before he could question her about what was happening she called out, "Hey dad? Uhh… How would you feel about entertaining for a couple of days?" Her father's eyes widened in anticipation as he sat up straighter in his recliner in response to her question. "Oh… And it'll just be Sam… Umm if that's okay with you. If not, I totally understand and we can go somewhere else… Honestly I understand."

"Don't you dare think of staying anywhere but here with Sam, Antonia Wayne McNamara! You've already told both Winchesters that they're welcome here any time and you will not make us look like a couple of Welchers!" He was standing now and put his hands on his hips as he evoked his well-used fatherly tone that she had gotten used to hearing during her youth. "And what have I said to earn that smirk on your face young lady?"

Toni bit her lip so hard that it turned white in an effort to keep from laughing out loud as she stepped closer to him. Before speaking she leaned up to kiss her dad's cheek. "Sorry Colonel but it's been so long since you've scolded me by using my full name that I had forgotten that mom and I never did ever get around to changing my middle name."

The Colonel blushed then focused his attention on his feet as he meekly said, "Right… But in my defense, he was a very…"

"Well respected General during the Revolutionary War," Toni finished for him as she hugged him tightly. "And I'm still unbelievably honored to be his namesake and I'm really sorry that it still makes me giggle to hear you call my 'Antonia Wayne'."

He relaxed in her arms and allowed himself to chuckle as he said, "It' alright Toni… I… I guess I understand the smiling now."

Toni leaned back and patted his cheek softly with a bright smile on her face. "I love you so much dad. But…" She held up her wrist to how him her watch. "I promised Sam that I would get there sooner than later so I should hit the road."

"Of course you should. Now you drive safe and make sure to check in with me if you get a chance," he instructed as he led her by the hand to the front door. He held her by the cheeks and placed a determined kiss on her forehead. "And I love you too Angel."

After navigating through a couple of standard pockets of congested traffic, Toni was able to make as good of time as she had originally hoped. She hadn't been above using her contacts with her brothers' military friends turned State patrol officers to learn the habits of the various highway patrol departments in the category of the ideal areas to set up a 'speed trap'. To date she had been able to use that knowledge to avoid not only getting a speeding ticket but to also avoid ever being pulled over and having to use her feminine wiles to talk her way out of a ticket in order to just get a stern warning. Luckily for her this trip was no exception and she made it to Ankeny in record time. She decided to refill her tank before picking Sam up and used that time to call him to get directions to his exact location and to call her dad to let him know that she had made it there safe.

It didn't take much effort to find Sam seated on a bench on the boardwalk with his elbows resting on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. Even after she had parked her truck he still hadn't seemed to have moved a muscle, so she decided that she would have a little fun at his expense.

"Hey handsome! I'll give you five hundred bucks, cash, for the whole night," she called out playfully as she got closer to his slumped over figure.

When Sam looked up at her, Toni immediately noticed that he looked like he was on the verge of tears or that he might have already had a bout of tears. Either way, the look in his eyes made her stomach drop into her toes and made her quicken her pace to get to him to try to erase that look from their memory. Even before she got close enough to see how puffy and blood shot his eyes were, Toni knew that spending some quality time with her wasn't the actual reason for the Winchester brothers splitting up right now, so she decided to completely change her tactic.

"Hey… Hey… Sam, I'm here," Toni sympathetically stated as she gently gripped Sam's face in her hands before kissing him softly.

He instantly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled Toni close enough to him so that he could rest his cheek against her stomach. Toni froze in her spot for a second because she wasn't used to being the person that someone would call on for emotional support in their time of need. She had always been the girl that was called in as the 'clean-up crew' or a 'fun distraction' and she felt comfortable in those roles, but 'shoulder to cry on' wasn't something that she had been called on to be often, if at all. But right now she felt like she was more than ready to be a strong pillar of support for Sam.

She didn't know what she could say to him to ease his pain, especially since she didn't know the actual cause of it, so she just shifted her arms so that they were wrapped comfortingly around his broad shoulders and press him impossibly closer to her body.

"Take your time Sam," she whispered against his hair. "There's no rush, so just take your time, okay?"

Sam shuddered softly then pushed back against Toni's hipbones so that he could look up at her face as he said, "Th-thanks for coming to get me."

Toni's eyebrows unconsciously knitted together into an annoyed frown as she ran her fingers through his hair replying, "Sam… You don't… Sam, I'm just glad that you called me." She easily slipped onto Sam's lap and crossed her ankles behind his back when he shifted forward slightly on the bench seat. Toni's fingers continued to massage Sam's scalp as she kissed his temple and then placed her lips by his ear whispering, "I've really… REALLY missed you. We should have planned some time off together a hell of a lot sooner than now."

Toni sat back a bit to show Sam her mischievously quirked eyebrow before she covered his mouth with hers. Even though Sam was momentarily stunned, he quickly matched her pace until they both were completely breathless. Toni continued to attack Sam's lips even though her breaths were coming in as short, uncomfortable pants between her embraces. After Sam finally managed to dislocate his lips from Toni's, she still continued to kiss his face and neck as she gently grinded herself against his lap.

"Toni?" He protested softly without actually trying to actually stop her movements. Toni bit lightly on a sensitive spot behind Sam's ear causing his next statement to come out sounding breathier than he had thought that it would. "Toni… I thought you weren't much of an exhibitionist."

"I'm not," she replied with a satisfied smirk as she made a show of checking over each of her shoulders. "But since this place is virtually deserted, I thought that we could just considerate an overly-exuberant display of PDA on my part. No harm, no foul."

Sam chuckled and genuinely smiled for the first time since Toni had seen him this time round, she placed a soft kiss on his lips then said, "There… A smile. That's all that I was hoping for."

He hugged her close saying into her chest, "I'm sorry… It's just that…"

Sam might have finished his statement, but she wasn't able to hear it. All that she could focus on was Sam's shuddering again before he fell completely silent. Toni petted the back of Sam's head then slowly crawled off of his lap. Sam watched her with a sad frown and she couldn't help but kiss his lips again to try to reassure him.

"It's alright… You don't have to explain everything yet, but…" She paused to tug on Sam's hand to coax him into a standing position. "We should get going so that we don't get back to Madison too late."

Sam just nodded then picked up his bag and followed her silently down the walkway. When Sam went to the passenger side of the truck, Toni paused to watch for a moment and swallowed the offer she was going to make to let him drive at least part of the way. He loaded his bags into the area behind their seats and Toni actually had enough presence of mind to move to the driver side of the truck before Sam could turn and catch her watching him because she knew she would never be able to hide the sad look that she knew would be on her face.

They passed the next five hours in her truck in a comfortable silence with the music of her five disc stacker filling the space that their words would have normally filled. Sam spent the vast majority of the ride staring out of the passenger side window and every so often Toni caught a glimpse of his reflection, but forced herself to continue to stay silent to give him space. Something big was happening between him and his brother and she really needed to get Sam to confide in her, but she was more than willing to give him time in order for him to do so. Nearing the end of their journey, Sam had slouched down in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest and looked like he had fallen asleep so Toni just tried to focus on the road and ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach that accompanied the thought of her father meeting her boyfriend for the first time in person. She knew that they did actually get along alright because they had talked on the phone, at length, many times, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that their meeting in the flesh seemed to be more nerve wracking for her than she had originally anticipated it would.

Sam still appeared to be sleeping when Toni parked her truck and cut the engine in front of her father's townhouse complex. She didn't want to disturb him just yet, so she slipped out of her truck and unloaded his bags as quietly as she could. Once she had them loaded onto her shoulder and had closed her door, she stared at the door handle while she mentally prepared herself for the next inevitable step. She knew she had to keep her emotions in check so that she could keep her face as soft and as open as she could so that Sam knew that she was prepared to give him whatever he needed from her.

"Hey… Are we here already?" Sam called out from his side of the truck before closing his door.

Toni walked around to where he was now standing beside the truck and smiled sheepishly while he reclaimed all but one of his bags. "Yep… This is it… Sorry I… I thought that you were sleeping."

"I did for a bit," he replied as he slipped his hand into hers as they started towards the townhouse's front door. Before they got too close to it, Sam stopped and turned Toni by the shoulders so that she was facing him and asked, "Toni? Are you okay?"

She gave him an uneasy smile and rubbed the moistened palm of her hand that he had been holding on her pant leg. "Yeah, I'm alright… I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"Nervous?" He questioned with a soft laugh. "Why are you nervous?"

"I've… Umm… Well… I've never brought a guy home to meet my parents... Or my dad before," she explained while staring at her feet.

"You're…?" Sam was visibly trying not to laugh when he tilted her chin up to force her to look at him. The look on her face caused him to drop any teasing comments that he might have said in exchange for a soft kiss on her lips and a quiet, "He and I have talked a few times you know, so I'm pretty sure that he doesn't hate me or anything."

Toni nodded then nearly whispered, "I know, but seeing you in person make you like more real or something and… and I really want you two to get along because… because… Well you two are the most important people in my life and if you don't then…"

Sam leaned down to kiss her again. "I want that too, but in all honesty the only way we'll find out if we do is if I actually meet him in person, which means…"

"We have to go inside," Toni finished. "Alright… That does make sense. So, I guess here goes nothing."

Toni unlocked the door then took in a long deep breath before she turned the knob and pushed it open. Sam remained stationary to watch her body language and immediately started to regret having called her because this situation was starting to seem like it was going to be more awkward than he had originally anticipated. Toni paused again in the threshold of the townhouse, but she didn't have to turn to check if Sam was following because he had hurried up the stairs to catch up and he rested his chin on her shoulder to let her know that he was right there with her.

"Dad?" Toni called out as she stepped to one side and took Sam's left hand in her right. "Dad… We're here."

The Colonel stepped into the hallway slowly while practically wringing his hands together. Before he turned to face the two of them, he took in the briefest, nearly imperceptible bracing breath and then he was suddenly facing Toni and Sam with a bright smile on his face.

Toni pulled Sam a couple of steps forward then confidently said, "Dad I'd like to officially introduce you to Sam Winchester." The Colonel extended his right hand and as Sam gripped it Toni finished the introductions with a little less gusto. "Uhh… Sam this is my dad…"

"It's an honor to meet you Colonel McNamara," Sam stated with a firm handshake.

Toni's dad let out a tension easing chuckle replying, "Please Sam, I thought I had broken you of that, please just call me Tom."

The Colonel squeezed Sam's forearm with his other hand and didn't release his grip until Sam nodded and agreed, "Okay Tom… It's an honor to meet you, Sir."

The elder man smiled brilliantly a he said, "And it's an absolute pleasure to finally get to meet you in person too Sam. I was starting to think that my daughter was going to hide you and Dean away from me forever… Like I would embarrass her or something. Now why don't you two come on in, make yourselves comfortable and I'll scrounge us up something to eat because you must be hungry after that long drive."

Sam tried his best to hide his reaction, but both of the McNamaras caught the sad look that flashed through his eyes. "Alright, thank you Sir. I… I should probably get these out of our way," he stated with a mildly flat tone while pointing to his bags.

"Right. Umm… My room's just up the stairs and to the right," Toni explained as Sam nodded and started towards the stairs.

Toni turned back towards her dad who was mirroring her concerned look. "Angel? Is…? Did I…?"

"No, Dad it isn't anything that you said," she interrupted and then quickly pecked his cheek. "He hasn't told me about it yet, but I'm pretty sure that he will… Eventually… I swear it wasn't you Colonel, so try not to worry about it, okay?"

"He'll tell you Angel, I have absolute faith that he will," her dad replied with a soft smile. "Now, I'm going to head out and get some groceries to make up something special for our guest. Plus I thought that I should give you two some time to…"

"Dad!" Toni exclaimed as quietly as she could so that she wouldn't disturb Sam upstairs as she lightly slapped his arm when he started to trail off.

"What? I was going to say 'settle in'. What did you think I meant Toni?" He asked with wide eyed innocence.

Her cheeks had already started burning under a blush that got even darker as she replied, "Nothing Dad… I mean, yeah that's what I thought you were going to say. Thanks for taking care of dinner."

He flashed her a sympathetic smile then he turned and walked towards the front door. Toni stayed in the kitchen by herself and didn't really remember actually walking up to her room until she was standing at her closed door. Her dad might have believed that Sam would tell Toni the truth, but Toni wasn't so easily convinced. But if she were to be completely honest with herself, she wasn't sure that she was ready to help him work through it all even if he did confide in her about the cause of his emotional turmoil.

 _Okay Toni, one step at a time. First you go inside and then whatever happens happens. You can't control it, especially from out here in the hall, so stop trying to skip ahead,_ she coached herself when she hesitated with her hand on the door knob.

She eased the door open slowly and forced herself to stay composed as she stepped inside of her bedroom. She found Sam in practically the exact same position that she had found him in earlier in the day. He raised his head when he heard her close the door and watch her as she approached him almost apprehensively.

"The pictures by the stairs… Your mom was beautiful," he commented when she stopped a few feet shy of being able to touch him. "You look a lot like her."

Toni smiled then whispered, "Thanks. Everyone says that, but I honestly don't see it."

Sam reached out a hand towards Toni as an invitation for her to come closer. They both stared at his out stretched hand for so long that Sam almost let it fall back to his lap. Toni finally grasped it and took the three steps she needed to so that she was standing in between his legs. Sam let go of her hand to wrap his arms around her waist and jerked her even closer to him so that it was easier for him to hug her.

"Toni, you are gorgeous," Sam asserted while he helped Toni to settle onto his lap. "I can't believe that you don't believe that."

She sat up a bit straighter with her legs wrapped around his waist so that she was eye level with Sam then kissed him slowly and deeply. "I do when I see that look in your eye Mr. Winchester."

"Good," he replied as he pulled her into another kiss.

Once their lips touched, Sam ran his hands up her back and tangled his fingers into her hair so that he could keep her face in the position that he wanted it. Toni couldn't keep any part of herself still so she started grinding against his lap and ran her hands over every inch of his body. Both of Sam's hands drifted back down to her waist and then he slipped them into her rear jeans' pockets. When he squeezed her butt cheeks through the denim, Toni moaned deep in her throat and froze momentarily in her spot.

"Toni," he breathlessly protested as he tried to catch her hands that were now feverishly fumbling to undo the buttons of his over shirt.

Toni smacked his hands away forcefully and continued her task as she looked him in the eye and said, "Dad's gone grocery shopping… We'll have the place to ourselves for at least an hour."

"Really?" He questioned as he helped her remove his over and under shirts.

The sight of Sam's bare chest caused Toni's breath to catch so she just nodded vigorously in response because her voice had failed her. Sam couldn't help but chuckle at how Toni seemed to be utterly fascinated with his tattoo because her eyes remained laser focused on it while her right index finger traced it with a feather light touch. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his as she continued to move her finger over the ink just above the swell of his well-defined left pectoral muscle with a soft leer on her face.

"The place is completely ours," Sam stated mostly to herself before he mashed his mouth onto Toni's.

While they continued to practically attack each other's mouths, Sam checked that Toni's legs were still wrapped around his waist. After that was confirmed, he then guided her arms up and around his neck. Since Toni hadn't been paying attention to anything but Sam's lips and tongue, she nearly fell to the floor when Sam stood up. He laughed into her mouth when he felt her squeeze her arms and legs around him because he knew that head had a firm, strong hold on her even if Toni hadn't been so sure. Toni nipped down hard on the inside of Sam's bottom lip in retaliation to his laughter while he carried her to the head of the bed as if she weighed nothing in his arms.

At his destination, Sam tried to toss Toni onto the bed, but she was clinging to him too tightly to allow him to complete such a maneuver. After trying more than once to unlatch Toni from his body, Sam finally realized that he was going to have to try a different approach to accomplish his goal. It was more than a little awkward, but Sam somehow managed to crawl onto the bed so that he could gently lay Toni's head on her pillow. Toni's pace quickened against Sam's lips as soon as she felt her back hit the mattress and she only released her death grip on him so that she could work at undoing his pants.

Sam eased away from Toni and sat back on his knees despite Toni letting out a low, protesting growl. Her hands fell, palms down, onto the bed as she stared up at him in utter disbelief that he was backing away. Sam put his hands over hers as he leaned in and kissed her softly.

"I bet that you can't keep your hands right here," Sam whispered huskily against her ear.

Toni huffed out an annoyed breath then replied, "Seriously Sam? This isn't the type of bedroom game I'm used to…"

He had lifted her shirt up and was kissing her stomach during her response and she could feel him starting to smile. When she was finished speaking, Sam raised his face up just enough so that he could look up over the length of her body to show her his mischievous smirk.

"Well if you don't think that you can," he teased with a shrug. "I guess we could try something else."

Sam eased back off of Toni's stomach and kept moving backwards until he was standing beside the bed. He watched her as he reached for his t-shirt while he awaited her reply. Toni glared at Sam and dramatically slammed her hands on the mattress saying, "You know that I can… So…? What do I get when I win this little bet of yours?"

Sam continued to smile, but he didn't say anything as he balled up his shirt and threw it towards the vicinity of his bag. Toni almost scolded him for looking so smug, but she held her tongue at the sight of him working his jeans off of his body and let them drop in a pile on the floor. Once he was down to just his boxers, Sam crawled back up the bed towards Toni where she was frozen in her place. He slowly unbuttoned her fly then tugged the zipper down without breaking severely direct eye contact with her. As he started to work her jeans off of her hips, Toni barely had the presence of mind to raise her buttocks up to help make Sam's job easier.

After slipping the legs of her jeans off Toni's feet, Sam tossed them haphazardly over his shoulder. Despite her best efforts not to, Toni cracked a smile then nearly giggled in nervous anticipation. Sam smiled satisfactorily as he bunched her t-shirt up to expose the skin of her abdomen with a hungry look in his eyes. He could see that her heartbeat was racing which was causing her breathing to speed up as well. He then bent down to kiss and nip at every inch of flesh that he exposed from pushing her shirt's hem up past her chest while trying not to show Toni his contentment because he knew it would tip the stakes out of his favor if she did see it.

Once he had her bra covered breasts unveiled, Sam struggled against Toni's strength to lift her arms so that he could completely remove her shirt. Toni's face maintained a stubborn scowl during Sam's efforts so he thought that he could complete this task if he found a way to distract her. He gently bit the sensitive skin between her breasts causing her to gasp in an excited breath before he moved up to claim her lips again.

"Toni?" He questioned against her mouth when her arms wouldn't move an inch, even with the efforts he made to distract her with his mouth.

She nearly head butted Sam as she shook her head and replied, "Uh uh uh… You aren't going to win that easily Winchester… Especially since you never told me what my prize will be when I win."

Sam suckled her throat as he unhooked her bra before slowly running his fingers up the lines of her ribs. He couldn't help but smile against the skin of her neck when she gasped and held her breath the moment that his hand slipped under the black cotton of her bra and cupped both of her breasts. His fingers continued to massage her flesh and then he gently bit her ear lobe causing her to shudder and hold her breath again.

"It'll be the same amazing prize that I get if I win," he whispered so lowly that Toni mostly just felt his words instead of hearing them.

Toni started to turn into complete putty under the palms of his hands as he began to grin against her skin. Now that he had massaged all of the fight out of her, Sam easily ran his hands under her shirt and guided it up and off of her arms. Her top ended up as a messy cotton necklace under her chin and it was now Toni's turn to smile at Sam smugly. He wouldn't rise to the bait and instead kissed her gently to take that look off her face. She remained completely passive as Sam lifted her head off of her pillow so that he could work the shirt over her head. Toni did help him somewhat by slipping her bra off of her arms and threw it off one side of the bed.

The weight of Toni's head rested comfortably in the palm of Sam's hand while they just stared into each other's eyes. Sam let his free hand ghost down her side before he cupped one of her breasts so that he could dive down and engulfed it almost completely into his mouth.

"S-S-Sam," she stuttered breathlessly and letting her hands fall down onto the back of his head.

Sam then switched his attention to his other breast and Toni showed him her appreciation with a strained moan and an almost uncomfortable, painful grasp on Sam's hair. He nearly bit down on her tender flesh in retaliation, but suddenly she quickly released his hair and started massaging his scalp with a breathy "S-s-sorry" when she noticed what she had done.

After he slowly released her breast with a lingering lick across her nipple, Sam again kissed a spot between her breasts replying into her chest, "It's fine."

Sam then started to zigzag kisses down and across her torso and let his hands find hers so that he could guide them back to the bed. Toni had become completely compliant once again as Sam paid particular attention to a spot between her belly button and the waist of her boy-cut cotton briefs.

"S-S-Sam… Pleeeeease," she quietly pleaded after Sam hooked his thumbs under the legs of her underwear and stopped all of his movements. She fisted large handfuls of her comforter in frustration while she breathlessly begged, "Please… Please… Pleasepleasepleaseplease…"

Toni's reaction to his gentler pace was more than he had hoped for, so he slowed his hands as he worked his panties off of her body. She wanted to do nothing more than to grab Sam by the hair and pull him back up into a messy kiss, but Toni couldn't argue that the soft kisses he was placing on her inner right thigh weren't turning her on, so she tried to just relax and let her legs fall ever further apart as an invitation. When Sam reached her feet, Toni had expected him to stop there and then rejoin her, but he just kept shimmying down the bed until he was standing at the foot of it.

She raised her head off her pillow just enough so that she could see him at the end of her bed. Right now she wasn't fisting the comforter tightly in her hands as a sign of sexual frustration; she was gripping it tightly to gain the proper grounding she needed to look up at her boyfriend's towering height where he stood.

"Sa-a-a-am," she whimpered, not really sure what she was begging him for a she watched him twist her not so sexy panties in his hands.

He held up his right forefinger to his lips in an attempt to quiet her mind while simultaneously tossing her cotton briefs across his body towards the pile of Toni's clothes that he had created. Toni's head flopped back onto her pillow with a thud in, well she wasn't sure if it was in exasperation or desperation, so she immediately tried to stay strong and lift it up by the neck again. Much to her surprise (and delight) Sam had stripped off his boxers and Toni was immediately confronted with glaring evidence that this new pace had him beyond aroused as well. Sam's grin widened at how Toni unconsciously licked her lips and at the look of anticipation on his girlfriend's face as he gripped himself tightly at the base of his erection to showcase it as he started to climb back onto the bed.

Once he was kneeling on all fours above Toni's body, Sam dipped just his head down to catch her lips in another soft, lingering kiss. When Sam pulled his head back, he noticed that Toni still had her eyes closed. He allowed himself a few moments to marvel at the peaceful expression on her face and was so lost in the moment that he couldn't stop himself from reverently saying in a solemn voice, "You are so unbelievably beautiful."

Toni's opened her eyes slowly to look into Sam's eyes as she swallowed hard. For the briefest of moments she felt completely insecure about his adoration and she inadvertently let it show on her face and in her eyes. When Sam's smile started to morph into a sad, concerned grimace, Toni forced herself to regain control of her expression so that she could give him a teasing smile as she said, "Already naked here Winchester so you really don't have to feed me any lines to make this a sure thing."

Sam frowned at Toni's joke and opened his mouth to reply, but Toni stopped him with a firm grip on his buttocks, "Sam? Can we just get to the amazing sex now? Please?"

"Well… Since you asked so nicely," Sam commented against her mouth as he carefully lowered himself against the length of his body.

Toni helped Sam to gain access to her body by pulling her knees up towards her chest. She shivered in anticipation of what was to come next because she was sure that she could feel every inch of Sam's length as he slowly thrust forward. Once he was in as far as he could go, Toni wrapped her legs around his thighs to brace herself for keeping up to a vigorous round of sex. Sam had his torso raised up off of her for so long without any movement at all that the muscles of his arms started to quiver under his weight. Toni was rarely patient in bed so she dropped her feet to the mattress in order to give her the leverage she would need in order to move herself at a pace that she had grown accustomed to over nearly sixteen years of enchanting men into pleasing her.

She started to work him as fast and as hard as she could but her rhythm faltered when she heard Sam call out a strained, "Toe-knee… S-slow down."

Sam eased back onto his knees so that he could free his hands to grip her hips tightly which finally made her pause mid-motion. Before she could question him, Sam slowly eased himself out of her until he was dangerously close to pulling out completely. Now that he could keep Toni still, Sam eased his hips forward just as slowly as he had pulled them back and then maintained that speed as he continued to rock back and forth.

This new, gentler tempo wasn't something that Toni was used to and she was sure that she would never reach her climax if Sam insisted on retaining it. Sam's grip eased up slightly on her hips in order to ensure that he wouldn't hurt or bruise her, but he didn't do so until he had made sure that Toni seemed to understand what he needed from her right now. When Toni looked up to his face to protest out loud, she noticed that Sam had his eyes closed and seemed to have completely given himself over to the feelings of bliss that radiated between them, so she tried her best to let go of her controlling nature to just follow his lead without question.

Sam started to breathe much more heavily and seemed to have to force himself not to quicken his pace while Toni moved her hands up his thighs and over his firm rump to the small of his back as a reminder to just let her body feel without overthinking anything. As she tried to lose herself in the sensation of Sam's body working against hers, Toni realized that being able to practically feel every inch of him brushing against every intimate inch of herself was too foreign and intimate compared to anything she felt in the past which made her feel vaguely self-conscious. After her hands drifted up to his shoulders, Toni opened her mouth to voice her concerns, but suddenly she felt her climax building and her breath got lost somewhere in her throat.

Sam moved his hands back to the mattress so that he could keep his torso from crushing Toni to kiss her lips again. Their kiss ended up mirroring the slow, steady pace of Sam's hips and then Toni suddenly started to rock her hips in a complementary motion. Sam smiled during their kiss at how amazing Toni's body felt around his and then he hid his face against her neck as he added a light circular motion to his thrusts because he knew that it would help to push her over the edge that she was so close to stumbling over. As soon as his hips added the clockwise motion to his excruciatingly slow pace, Toni's hands convulsed around Sam's upper arm as she moaned her pleasure out softly.

She had barely come down from her high to regain her breath before Sam altered the pattern in which he was moving his hips again. Toni didn't seem to be capable of drawing in a deep enough breath for her to do anything but whimper quietly until another orgasm hit her hard and she completely lost her ability to breathe, let alone make any type of sounds. Sam worked her through her climax until she nearly blacked out during yet another and he found his own with one last thrust that had more force behind it than any of his previous movements.

Toni regained consciousness while Sam was trying to get more comfortable against the left side of her body. Once she was fully alert she turned over onto her right side and spooned the back of her body against the front of his muscular frame. Once they were both settled and had relaxed into their spots, Sam started to lovingly embrace the long, pink bumps that stood out on her left shoulder as a reminder of the werewolf that had tried to kill her on the first night that they had originally been reunited.

Toni tried to snuggle back even closer to Sam's chest which forced him to focus his embraces on another part of her body because her shoulder was too uncomfortable to reach from this new position. She pulled his left arm up over her chest to kiss his knuckles before she breathlessly commented, "Sam that was… was… was… Fucking amazing."

Sam squeezed her in his arms then kissed her ear then replied, "You better believe it was." His hand slipped down to cup her left breast and he squeezed it gently before he added, "And I do believe that both of us were on the winning side of my bet."

"Uh huh," Toni sighed out under his touch.

She rested her head against his shoulder and let him move his hand down to her stomach where it petted her flesh in a circular motion. They both remained silent and let their breathing synch up as they relished in the scent and feel of each other's warm bodies.

"Sam you were right, we waited WAY too long to do this. I don't know what Dean did, but I'm thinking that I owe him…" Toni cut herself off when she felt every muscle in Sam's body tense up against her back. She flipped over in his arms and kissed a few random spots on his chagrinned face as she apologized, "I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's fine," he stated sounding sadder than he had meant to as he laced the fingers of his left hand with her right and coaxed her even closer to his side by hugging his right arm under her body and around her waist.

Toni gently shook her head and tried to push up against the mattress but Sam's right arm kept her pressed against his chest. Since she couldn't do what she had originally planned, Toni just rested her cheek on his chest and replied, "No it's not Sam. You need… need space from him and here I go… I'm such an ungrateful… Especially after…"

Sam could have counted on his one hand the number of times that Toni had had this much difficulty completing a thought like this and he'd still have fingers left over, so he tried to refocus her attention on just one thought by asking, "Especially after what?"

"Oh… Uh…" Toni turned her face into Sam's neck letting him feel her hot, embarrassed blush. He squeezed the fingers of her right hand encouragingly and started running the fingers of his right hand through her hair which gave her the freedom to move her head to look up at his face. "Especially after…" Sam could tell that she had to force the eye contact that she was making because she was feeling uneasy, but Toni was trying to be strong so Sam just let her soldier through her explanation at her own pace. "Okay… I don't want you to take this the wrong way because you know that I have never been unhappy and have always been beyond satisfied anytime that I've been with you but… Well people have always talked about the difference… Damn it! Why…? Why is this so fucking hard?" Sam remained silent while he massaged the back of her neck. "Alright… Here goes…" Toni finally closed her eyes like she had been wanting to in an effort to try to finally finish this thought. "I… I think I now get the difference between actually making love and… Well just having sex with someone or being their fuck buddy."

At the end of her statement Toni squeezed her eyes even tighter because she knew how utterly ridiculous and juvenile she must have sounded and she wouldn't have blamed Sam for laughing at her actually saying it out loud. Sam continued to watch her in complete silence and could practically see every self-deprecating thought that was running through her head. His fingers never hesitated as they kneaded the muscles of her neck while he tried to keep from letting his body react to the sorrow he was feeling at seeing his strong, confident girlfriend look so fragile and unsure. When Sam didn't respond negatively to her comment like she had predicted, Toni hesitantly opened her eyes to find him looking up at her with a warm smile illuminating his face.

Toni worried her bottom lip between her teeth, but was stopped from speaking by Sam pressing his forefinger against her mouth. "I didn't think that I could love you anymore than I did, but the fact that you would be so honest with me, I… I can't even begin to thank you for that."

Toni had a half-smile, half-frown expression on her face with tears welling up in his eyes by the time that Sam finished his declaration. Sam's eyebrows fell into a worried frown to which Toni responded by shaking her head slowly and said, "They're tears of joy Sam. I love you more than I thought I ever could love a person and it just kind of chokes me up every time that I'm reminded that you actually feel the same way."

Sam shook his head then pulled her down for a soft kiss. "I just don't get how you can be so insecure sometimes."

Toni shrugged before she cuddled back into his side. "I'm complex… It keeps things from getting boring."

"Boring?" Sam let out a hearty laugh that caused Toni's head to bounce against his pecks. "Tell me that no one has been dumb enough to call you boring."

Toni kissed his chest as she burrowed even further down against the side of his body with a wicked grin on her face replying, "No, not yet anyway."

Sam rolled onto his side again so that he could hug her against the front of his chest. They both moved in an almost unnatural fluidity as they wrapped their legs around each other until they were as close to each other as was humanly possible. In this moment they didn't need to talk or pet each other to prove their feeling to one another. From the beginning of their relationship they had always been at ease with just holding each other and they were both beyond elated that that was one aspect of their relationship that remained the same.

While they laid there in a comfortable silence, Toni started to shiver and Sam could feel goose bumps blossoming under his palm. "Hey? Are you cold?" He whispered into the crown of her head where he had his cheek resting against her head.

Toni nodded softly and replied, "A little, but we just got comfortable, so it's fine."

"Toni," Sam chastised good naturedly. He ran his hand up and down the length of her back saying, "Come on, off the bed."

Before she could object, he was rolling onto his back and then over and off his side of the bed. Once he was standing, Toni propped her head up on one arm and just openly stared up at him. Sam stood in his spot patiently for a bit to let her admire his body, but then he started to feel uncomfortable, so he turned to search for his boxers.

"No!" Toni called out as she rolled over to get off the bed. "Please don't get dressed yet."

Sam turned back towards her and found that she was already crawling under the covers. He just smiled at her eagerness and then accepted her invitation to join her by slipping under the covers that she was holding up for him. They once again settled themselves against each other quickly and easily. As soon as Toni's head hit Sam's shoulder, he started to comb his fingers through her hair and she relaxed so much against him that she nearly started to fall asleep right then.

"Comfy?" He questioned quietly. Toni hummed out a sound in agreement. Sam wasn't sure if she was actually falling asleep in earnest or if she was just letting him know how content she was to be with him, so he took a chance and announced in a soft voice, "Dean killed Amy… That's why I had to get away from him for a bit."

Toni's eyes shot open, but she forced herself not to move anything else at all. It took a second or two for her to place the name of the woman that Sam had mentioned, but then again there had recently only been one person that the brothers had held differing opinions in regards to how Sam had handled the situation so she quickly scolded herself for not immediately making the connection. She knew that Sam expected her to agree with his anger because she had already told him that it had been his call about how to handle the situation. But on the other hand she couldn't find it in her heart to completely condemn Dean because he had killed a monster that had been murdering humans. The fact that this particular creature had saved Sam's life years ago had gained it some lee-way, but still it was a murderous monster that she wouldn't be mourning in its death.

Toni made sure that she had her face under control before she pushed up on Sam's chest and looked into his eyes to sincerely say, "I'm sorry Sam. If you don't mind me asking, how did you finally find out the truth?"

At the end of the day Toni decided that the death didn't really actually matter to her, but she did hate seeing her boyfriend in pain so she was going to do whatever she could to ease his heavy heart. Plus she knew that Sam would have forgiven Dean for being so clinical about killing Amy and that his anger right now was directed at his brother's deceit instead of the reason Dean had given for lying to Sam. Toni did genuinely feel remorse about Dean's dishonesty because she knew that Sam valued the truth, especially from his brother which made this whole situation that much worse.

Sam stared up at the ceiling with his hands folded on his stomach answering, "The Leviathan that had stolen Dean's face, he told me. At first I thought that it was just trying to get under my skin and mess with my head, but… But it's true."

"I'm so sorry," Toni whispered again when she saw tears glistening in the corners of Sam's eyes.

He turned his gaze towards her face then explained, "I wanted to tell you about it right away, but I… I just…"

Toni leaned down and kissed him gently. "It's okay Sam. I told you that there was no rush and I meant it."

"Yeah… Alright… Thanks again for letting me stay with you."

Toni smiled with a hint of sadness. "You're welcome here anytime Sam, you don't have to keep thanking me. Especially not after you just gave me some of the most intense, mind blowing orgasms I have ever experienced."

Sam laughter quickly turned into a yawn before he replied, "More than happy to oblige with one of those any chance that I get."

"I'll hold you to that," Toni said only half joking. She kissed him one more time before settling against his side again. "We have some time before dad gets home if you wanted to grab a little more shut eye."

"A nap would be great… I mean if that's okay with you," Sam said with a soft sniffle covered by another yawn.

Toni forced her voice to remain cheerful as she asserted, "Of course it is."

Sam kissed her head then squeezed her closer to his side before he drifted off to sleep. Toni was still wide awake long after Sam had fallen into a deep sleep and she tried her best to quiet her racing thoughts so that she would be able to sleep off some of her usual post-sex exhaustion before her dad returned from shopping.

**Ho-oh-me-ward bound I wish I was Ho-oh-me-ward bound…**

"Dad?" Toni questioned into her cell phone trying to wake herself up completely so that she could figure out where she had been sleeping this time around.

Toni checked over her shoulder and instantly recognized that she was in her own room. "Umm… Why are you calling my cell when you're in the same house as me?"

" _Well Angel when I got home and you and Sam hadn't made it downstairs yet, I figured you might be sleeping… I didn't want to disturb you if you were because I know he's had a rough day…"_

"Sam?" Toni questioned through a thick, lingering haze of sleep. She lifted her comforter to look at herself then quickly dropped it when she noticed that she was naked. That sight sobered her up like a slap in the face or a cold shower. She had initially thought that she had dreamt about Sam being with her and then she heard her shower running. "Oh… We did fall asleep; he's in the shower right now."

" _That's good. Okay… Quickly… How's he doing?"_

"He's okay. He told me about everything and it's pretty not good Sir."

" _I'm sorry to hear that Angel. Well… Dinner will be ready in about ten to fifteen minutes. If there's anything else I can do to help out, just let me know, okay?"_

Toni heard the bathroom door open so she was looking over her shoulder as she replied, "I'll definitely let you know. Thanks again."

She returned her phone to its resting place on her bedside table then flipped over so that she was facing Sam. "I almost thought that I had just dreamt up our amazing afternoon… Now that I know it was real I am most definitely going to have to insist that we do that again."

Sam ran his fingers through his hair nervously as he ignored Toni's comment and asked, "Who were you just talking to?"

Toni swallowed hard to rid herself of any humor that may have lingered in her tone and sat up holding her comforter over her chest. "Oh… That was my dad… He wanted us to know that dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

Sam didn't try to hide his suspicion as he replied, "Toni… Come on. Like your dad would call you on the phone from the kitchen. Seriously? Who was it?"

"Cross my heart Sam," she stated with her right hand over her heart as she walked slowly towards him, still completely naked. "It was the Colonel. When we hadn't made it downstairs, he didn't want to walk in on us if we were in a compromising position or anything. If you want to check my call log, you can."

Sam cast his eyes to the floor and replied with an embarrassed tone, "No, you don't have to show me it. I'm sorry, I… I had no right to accuse you like that."

Toni gripped Sam's arm to help her balance so that she could go to her tip toes to peck his lips. "Hey, I know what it must have looked like, so we're good on that so don't beat yourself up okay?" Sam nodded then gave her a tight smile in response. "Good. Now I'm just going to clean up quickly, but if you want to head down first…" The look on Sam's face made Toni stop mid-sentence. The fact that Sam was nervous about spending time alone with her dad made her feel completely at ease about how the rest of Sam time with them would most likely unfurl. "Or not. Just give me a minute and I'll be presentable for dinner."

She had moved to her chest of drawers to pull out a fresh change of clothes so Sam stepped up behind her, hugged her to his chest and said, "I know I don't need to say it, but thanks again Toni."

"My pleasure Sam." She patted his arms then added, "And I meant it Winchester, I expect a repeat performance of this afternoon sometime soon."

Sam made eye contact with her in her full length mirror and they shared the same knowing smile. "I'd offer to right now, but I don't think that being late for dinner would help me make a good impression with your father."

"Right… Of course not," Toni agreed with a chuckle. "Okay, I swear I'll just be a minute."

They parted from each other's arms almost reluctantly and then Sam found himself alone in his girlfriend's bedroom again. This time he actually took a moment to look around and take it all in. The first things that he noticed were their clothes thrown around the bed haphazardly, so he made quick work of cleaning them up. He shoved his clothes into his duffle bag and after a short deliberation; he decided to put Toni's into her wicker hamper instead of folding them and leaving them on her bed.

Once he had finished cleaning up their "mess", he stood and looked around her room somewhat awkwardly. His gaze ended up on her small study area at the opposite end of the room. He could still hear water running in the bathroom so he figured that he had some time to snoop around before he would be ready to head down for their meal.

He didn't know why, but he was actually kind of surprised by the variety of books on spirits and monsters that he found on her bookshelves. He knew that Toni had thrown herself into the job feet first, but he hadn't anticipated seeing some texts that looked as old as some of the volumes that you could find in Bobby's library. There were a few sitting out on a chair and he smiled to himself as he flipped through them because he could tell that she and the Colonel had taken to finding out everything they could about Leviathans to heart.

As he skimmed the pages of one of the books, his eyes wandered back to the well-stocked bookshelves where he saw some all too familiar novels. He replaced the text he was holding gently where he had found it to investigate this new finding further. Toni had told him that her dad had bought the entire series that Chuck had penned, but seeing them all on the two shelves seemed completely surreal. He read over each title and noticed that a couple of books seemed to be missing from the set. Neither Sam nor Dean had taken the time to memorize all of the titles and they both had to read the backs of the books to refresh their memories about what part of their life each book focused on so he couldn't be one hundred percent sure which books were missing right now. One thing Sam hadn't told anyone was that he had memorized the titles of a few books that had him as the central character or that he had been particularly embarrassed to read because of their intimate or unflattering subject matter.

Toni rejoined him in the room to find him looking over her copy of 'Heart', so as she pulled her hair into a ponytail she called out, "Trying to make me jealous by rekindling memories of old lovers Winchester?"

Sam jumped at the sound of her voice and he accidentally dropped her book a he turned to face her. "No, no it's not that Toni. It's just… Your dad's read all of these, right?"

"Something like five times," she replied earnestly.

"Five…?" Sam repeated in wide-eyed astonishment. "So he knows all of it… The girls I've… And then when I…"

Toni squeezed his arm then replied, "He knows everything up until Dean's deal came due and then everything after you got out of Hell. He doesn't know about the demon blood addiction or all the nitty gritty details about the Seals."

"Really? You didn't tell him everything about that?" He questioned looking almost scared because he had already told Toni about it all in depth and in vivid detail.

"Sam," she started sympathetically. "Even if I did give him all of the details, he'll still feel the same way about you as he does right now."

"I'm not so sure about that," he countered with a snort of derision.

Toni gave him a strong smile asserting, "I am. We all make mistakes Sam and I'm pretty sure that you've endured more than enough punishment for yours." Sam cracked a soft smile and nodded. Toni took him by the hand then started to lead him towards the door saying, "Although I should probably warn you about one thing…"

Sam froze in his spot causing Toni to stop before she could exit the bedroom as he worriedly asked, "And what's that?"

"Well," she started with a cheeky grin. "He's probably going to grill you about when you're finally going to make an honest woman out of me."

Toni couldn't stifle her giggle which caused Sam to let out his own tension easing laugh. He knew that Toni wasn't completely comfortable with him meeting her father and he wanted her to know that he appreciated her efforts to make him laugh to keep everything from becoming too serious, so he replied with his own mischievous grin, "I couldn't exactly ask for your hand without getting his blessing first, now could I?"

All of the color ran out of Toni's face as she stared up at Sam, so he gave her a quick side hug asking, "When'd you lose your sense of humor McNamara?"

Toni shook her head and punched Sam in the side before continuing down the stairs almost grumbling, "Yeah you two will get along just fine." The look on Sam's face made her laugh so she added more sincerely, "Honest Sam, now I know that I was nervous for no good reason. But that being said, we should hurry up because I'm starving."

Any residual tension Sam had been feeling simply disappeared because he now knew, without a doubt, that calling Toni definitely was the right thing to have done.


	33. Somewhere that No One Can Read Ya

Toni finished braiding her still wet hair before throwing hers and Sam's sweaty workout clothes into a plastic basket and then headed downstairs to start a load of laundry. It had taken her a little bit of verbal sparring with Sam to convince him that her doctor had already given her the go ahead to try to push herself during her daily workouts, but Toni finally did manage to persuade Sam to run father than three miles with her causing them both to get grosser and sweatier than she had anticipated. As she started the washing machine, Toni found herself wondering why the townhouse was so quiet. She had been more than sure that her father would have gotten up and ready for the day while she and Sam were out for their run and that the men would have been starting breakfast together while she got cleaned up, but the house was completely devoid of the usual morning chatter which was starting to worry her.

When Toni arrived in the kitchen, she was more than a little surprised to see Sam alone tending to something at the stove. Even with that strange sight greeting her, Toni still set a direct route for the coffee pot, but she quickly diverted her course to stand at Sam's side when she heard him cursing softly under his breath.

"Hey there Boyfriend… Is someone giving you trouble?" Toni teased as she bumped her left side against Sam's right hip.

Sam didn't answer her and tried to just throw out the burnt mess that he had in the pan without Toni noticing it at all. While he moved away from her, Toni dipped her index finger into a bowl of batter sitting on the counter then asked without trying to hide her surprise, "You're making crêpes?"

"More like burning them into an inedible lump," Sam replied with an apologetic frown. "I don't think that I screwed up cutting or cleaning the fruits and berries so those should be safe for you to consume while you wait for me to get this right."

Toni watched him while he finished cleaning out the pan and laughed silently to herself at how cutely domestic Sam was trying to be. Before he returned to the stove, Toni pulled out a different pan from a cupboard then explained, "Dad usually uses this one to make crêpes… He says that it's something about it heating more evenly or something."

Sam stole a glance over his shoulder and then left the pan he was holding in the sink. "I didn't see it in there," he admitted quietly. "But now that you mention it Tom did say something about being careful about what pan I used."

Toni flipped the crêpe that she had started while Sam just watched her with a soft smile on her face. "Speaking of… Have you seen the Colonel this morning? It isn't like him to sleep in this late," Toni questioned with a forced calm tone as she continued to cook crêpe after crêpe with practiced ease.

She finished up a few more of the thin pancakes and then they both settled at the kitchen table before Sam answered, "Nope I haven't seen him at all and I'm pretty sure his room was empty when I used the shower in his bathroom."

"What?" Toni questioned with her fork paused in mid-air.

Sam shrugged and continued digging into his meal a he nonchalantly repeated, "His room seemed to be empty and his bed was made, but… You know what? Come to think of it I don't remember hearing him come in last night and we were up pretty late."

"Yeah… You're right…" Toni said with a thoughtful frown on her face, completely ignoring Sam's half-hearted attempt to refocus her attention on their sex life. "Huh… He stayed out all night…"

"Yes he did." Sam reached over and squeezed her hand adding with mock seriousness, "And when our Tommy gets home, we should have a little chat with him about his calling ahead of time to let us know if he doesn't plan on coming home at night."

Toni gave Sam an unimpressed look that hardened when he laughed softly at his own joke. "What? Oh come on Toni, I'm sure that he's fine, so don't give me that look."

"It's not that Sam, it's just that my dad has a girlfriend…"

"Yes he does Toni," he replied almost sounding like he was trying to placate a petulant child. "And we had a lovely dinner at a fancy restaurant with her the night before last."

He'd reached over to try to rub soothing circles on her shoulder, so Toni smacked his hand away replying, "Thanks Tips, I remember our dinner with Yvette and Dad… I just meant…" She took a moment to collect her thoughts and Sam took a chance by holding one of her hands in a gentle grasp. "I mean he has a girlfriend and they have sleepovers… I don't know but it's weird and…" Sam' hand slid up her arm and then he started petting her head down the length of her French braid. "Well he's been through so much and he more than deserves to be happy, so maybe I should…. I don't know… It might be better for them if I…"

"Toni? Are you saying that you don't think that you should use your dad's place as a home base between jobs?"

She just shrugged and whispered, "Maybe."

Sam leaned over to wrap an arm around her shoulders and hugged her briefly. "You are such an idiot sometimes."

"Hey watch it Winchester!" Toni countered without much malice behind her words as she weakly shoved his chest.

"Don't get mad at me for speaking the truth. I know for a fact that it would break your dad's heart if you didn't spend your down time with him."

Toni pushed back against his torso gently to look up into his face to ask, "How are you so certain Sam?"

"The other night when you went to bed early, we talked a bit about it then… Well in between his questions about Dean and Dad that is." Toni hadn't realized that her eyes had teared up until Sam brushed a wayward tear away. "I don't think that he'd be spending this much time with someone that was expecting him to cut you out of his life. Plus I'm sure that Yvette understands the bond between you two and is happy to make it all work between the three of you."

Toni closed her eyes and wiped her cheeks as she said, "And I'm just over thinking things again and being stupid, right?"

"You love your dad and want him to be happy, that isn't stupid." Sam kissed her head then added, "But not eating when your stomach's growling that loudly IS stupid, so you should eat up."

She elbowed Sam in the side then quietly said, "Well if you weren't a slave driver who made me run five miles…" Sam laughed loudly because they both knew that it was Toni who had pushed them both to test their limits on today's run. She piled her fork full of crêpes and black berries then held it up to Sam's mouth. He ate it almost hesitantly and Toni kissed his lips as soon as he closed his mouth to eat his food. "Thanks for making me breakfast and for making me feel less insane."

Sam just smiled and let Toni have the last word by eating the breakfast that they had made together. When Toni's coffee mug started to run low, Sam got up to fix her another cup without saying a word. Toni smiled to herself because she was feeling so content that she could get used to both of her men taking care of her. But in the back of her mind she knew that this domestic bliss wasn't going to last forever. Sooner or later Sam would need to see Dean again, even if he still didn't want to, which would bring these fun times to an end. Plus both of them were serious about helping people, so she knew they would be pulled back to the job soon, so she wanted to make sure to enjoy this time with Sam while she could.

As they cleared their plates and loaded the dishwasher, Toni avoided making eye contact while she meekly asked, "So…? I know Dad isn't here, but are you still up for finishing the tour of the grounds and meeting some more of his friends?"

Sam smiled then winked as he answered, "Of course I am. I could even pull out my bathing suit if you wanted to go to Aquacise class later today."

Toni glared half-heartedly at Sam and replied with a chuckle, "So not funny Winchester."

                                                       *********************************************************************************

"So that over there is the Bar-B-Que area. They put on a huge feast every Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Independence… Well okay practically every holiday. Casper makes some of the best pulled pork this side of Memphis that you'll ever taste," Toni explained as they walked hand in hand down a tree-lined pathway. "A few of the other vets have had family reunions there too."

"Sound like fun. Maybe next long weekend I can check it out for myself."

Toni smiled brightly then said, "I really… Umm I mean I'm sure Dad would really like that."

Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled into a side hug. "Right because he'd be the only one that would be happy for me to be here I'm sure."

They continued walking somewhat awkwardly with Sam's arm still around Toni's shoulder and hers around his waist. "Yeah well Alex always told me guys don't like it when a girl seems too eager."

"Maybe some guys don't, but I'm…"

"Toni? Toni McNamara is that you?"

They paused then Toni turned away from Sam's body while catching his hand in hers so that she could find the woman who had called out to her. "It is you! I had heard that you were back in town." By this time the newcomer had caught up to Toni and Sam. She didn't hide the fact that she was looking Sam up and down to size him up as she continued, "And I heard that you had brought someone special home with you."

Toni let out a soft laugh then replied, "News travels fast here doesn't it? Sharon this is Sam Winchester… He's… My boyfriend. Sam this is Sharon Case, her husband worked with my mom on a few missions back in the day."

Sam extended a hand that the elderly woman eagerly shook. "Sam it is so good to meet you. We've all heard a lot about you from our Toni and Colonel McNamara."

"Oh well I hope that I can live up to the publicity," Sam replied trying not to show his unease.

Sharon squeezed Sam's hand until he winced as she commented, "We all do too Sam because you see… We're a tight knit community here and we take care of our own." She then released his hand and turned her attention to Toni. "We've missed you on Bridge nights Toni. The Walters seem to think that they're going to win the tournament and you know that we can't have that. Will we see you there next week?"

"Oh… Uh… Maybe… If nothing else comes up, I'll make sure I'm there for sure," she replied with an uncomfortable swallow.

"Well I won't blame you if you're too preoccupied to make it," Sharon teased while openly leering at Sam. "Nope I couldn't blame you one little bit."

As Sharon continued down the walkway towards the Common Room, Sam shivered slightly and stared at Toni wide-eyed. She laughed then patted his arm saying, "Don't worry Sam, I'll protect you from getting eaten up by the big bad widows. But if you'd try being a little less adorable and handsome, it would make my job a lot easier."

"It'll be tough, but I'll try my best. So where's our next stop?"

"I was thinking that we could hit the Common Room to maybe see if Dad's there, but now I… I'm not so sure."

"Why aren't you sure?" Sam questioned as he lead her down the path Sharon had taken.

"Well by this time everyone will be there to play crib or cards or to just reminisce about old times and since Sharon's going to beat us there…" She explained timidly.

Sam squeezed her hand and didn't miss a step as he replied, "I'm a big boy Toni, I'm sure that I can handle them all wanting to interrogate me."

"Okay but this is going to be like meeting thirty versions of my mom and dad all at once."

"Toni," he asserted with another squeeze of her hand. "I swear I can handle it."

Toni nodded quickly then said, "Okay if you can do it then I can do it."

They continued down the walkway, feeling nervous but they both were avoiding showing their unease to each other. Sam even ignored the sweat that was pooling between their hands because he knew that drawing any attention to it would just make Toni feel worse. Neither of them was conscious of it, but they had slowed their pace enough that some of the more senior retirees were able to pass them with ease.

After a man out for a stroll with his walker 'sped' past them, Toni laughed nervously and said, "I guess we're being…"

"Toni! Toni! Wait up!"

Toni flashed Sam a humorous smirk before she turned around and replied, "Hey there stranger, long time no see." Her dad was nearly running to catch up with them and didn't seem to hear her as she continued to tease him saying, "Same clothes from yesterday… Looks like you and Yvette had a good time last night."

"Toni… Sam… I need your help," he started frantically as he stepped between the two hunters and hooked an arm through each of theirs.

"Dad? What is it? What's wrong?" Toni asked worriedly while trying to stop her dad from leading them back towards his townhouse.

The Colonel checked all around them but never stopped walking as he replied, "I'm… I'm not sure… But not out here. Now come on."

Sam followed them silently while trying to get a read on the situation by scrutinizing the Colonel's body language. Toni continued to ask her dad to stop or slow down while tugging on his jacket sleeve. The Colonel continued to ignore her pleading as he nearly dragged her along and seemingly ignored that Sam was present at all.

Toni managed to detach herself from her dad's grasp and stopped in her spot. She folded her arms over her chest and stamped her foot defiantly stating, "I'm not taking one more step until you tell me what the hell is going on." Her father stepped forward with a hard scowl on his face which caused Toni to take a step back and more humbly say, "I mean not until you explain the situation, Sir. Now please… Dad…" She gently held his cheeks to try to check his body for any sign of injury. "Are you hurt? Did Yvette do something to you?"

The Colonel could hear the tears in Toni's voice, so he took in a deep breath then answered, "Sorry Angel, I didn't mean to scare you like that. I'm fine, Yvette's… Well I need to get back to her as soon as possible, but I need to run something by you before I can go back to comfort her."

"But Yvette…? She's not hurt or anything either, is she?" Sam asked trying to get the other two back on track.

"Physically she's fine, yes, but she's… she's heartbroken," Tom explained timidly.

Toni took her dad's hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she started back towards their home. "Well then let's get back to the townhouse so that you can fill Sam and I in on everything and then we can get you back to Yvette that much sooner… Sound good?"

He just nodded and let her lead him down the walkway. As they got closer to their home, Toni gave Sam a worried look behind her dad's back and he replied by giving her a strong smile and mouthed "We can do this." Toni wanted to believe him, but she couldn't shake the feelings of uncertainty that threatened to overtake her from seeing her dad in such emotional distress.

Toni unlocked the back door and her dad silently walked towards the living room. While she was still standing on the back door step, Sam leaned down and kissed Toni's head then quietly offered, "I'll go start the kettle to make some tea."

"Thanks Sam that's a great idea."

She walked at a painfully slow pace to the living room because she was afraid of what she was going to find. After seeing Sam in bed with another woman, she had completely shut down on her dad and now she completely understood the look that she had seen on his face when he had finally gotten the courage to come into her room. He had offered her nothing but comfort and support back then, so Toni reminded herself that she that she owed him the same right now.

Sam rejoined her at the doorway of the living room where she stood frozen in her place. He slipped his arms around her waist and then rested his chin on her shoulder. Toni remained motionless, so he was going to offer her more words of encouragement until the sight in the living room struck him mute as well.

They both had expected to find the Colonel anxiously waiting for them in his recliner, but instead they found him looking through a few drawers of the entertainment center before quickly moving to the foot stool that also doubled as a storage chest.

"Dad?" Toni called out weakly. "Dad? Can we help you find something?"

The Colonel didn't even pause so Sam tried to get his attention by asking with more volume, "Col… Uh… Tom can we help you find something?"

Without looking up from the storage chest, Toni's dad answered, "Toni's laptop… I thought that she left it in here…"

Toni shared a confused look with Sam then answered, "No Sir, I took it up to my room." Her dad stopped and then flopped down onto the floor looking defeated. "But… I… I could run up and get it if you need it."

Sam appeared at her side with his laptop in hand. She took it from him with a stunned look on her face, so he nudged her into the living room saying to her dad, "Toni has my laptop Tom, would that do?"

The Colonel nodded his head as they walked slowly towards him. Sam reclaimed his notebook computer and started setting it up so that Toni could focus her attention on her dad. She held out her hand to him to help him off the floor and then motioned for him to take a seat beside Sam on the couch. She knew that there was no way that that the three of them would fit on the couch comfortably and still be able to see the computer, so Toni settled on the floor between the two men's legs.

Before Toni was fully seated, her dad was already leaning forward to type on the laptop. Sam could see the tension building in Toni's muscles so he started to massage her shoulders while they watched her dad work. When the Colonel had finally found the website he had been looking for, he started to sit back on the couch and Sam let his hands fall away from her body so that she could lean forward to get a better look.

Toni took control of the computer and scrolled through the information as she quickly read it. Near the end of the page, she exclaimed a little louder than she had anticipated she would because of her shock, "Dad! This is Yvette's personal email."

"Yes it is," he answered calmly. "She gave me permission to show both of you these when I told her that you might be able to help." Before Toni could ask what he meant by 'help', her dad quickly instructed her, "Read the email from today, that should clarify the predicament."

Without checking with Sam that he was finished reading Toni swiftly followed, her dad's instructions. As he had promised, pretty much all of Toni's and Sam's unasked questions were answered. Once she was done reading this email, Toni looked over her shoulder to check that Sam had finished as well and then she turned to her dad while Sam gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"She wasn't anyone that you should know Angel. Remember the friend that Yvette was so excited to finally get a chance to spend some time with…?"

Toni gasped softly causing her dad to nod as she said, "Oh my… Poor Yvette… Okay, so did I read that right? She was beaten over the head by her own crystal ball while she was alone in a locked house?"

"Yes," he dad answered just barely over a whisper.

Sam was re-reading the second email as he said, "And from the preliminary forensics, only her fingerprints were found on the crystal ball, is that correct?"

"That is Sam. Imelda was very particular about not allowing anyone else touch any of her… Tools of the trade," the Colonel explained, sitting back so that he could look at the two hunters with more ease. "Plus she lived alone, had no family close by so no one else had access to her home and there were no signs of forced entry."

"Okay so let me get this straight… Yvette's best friend was killed in her locked house in the middle of the night by her own crystal ball," Toni itemized hoping that she had the facts right. Her dad nodded in reply while Sam sat in his spot patiently waiting to offer them his theory. "Okay… How was she found and by whom?"

"She had an appointment with the organizers of the E.S.P. Festival to go over some details of some sort, I'm not sure of those particulars, but she didn't answer the door. She was painfully punctual so they poked around her yard until they found a window to the room where she was… But… That's not the weirdest part…"

"There's something stranger than a psychic being killed by her own crystal ball when she was home alone?" Toni asked in a tone that didn't hide her disbelief.

"Yes Angel… Imelda… She… She sent Yvette an email that arrived today telling Yvette how sorry she was that they weren't going to be able to reconnect with her. She didn't say it in so many words, but the way she worded it…" Toni's dad paused and looked like he was visibly trying to keep himself from breaking down. "Well it made it sound like she knew that her death was going to happen."

Toni bit her lip and swallowed her humorous quip; "Well she was psychic" because she knew that it wouldn't be helpful to make any jokes right now. Instead she just squeezed her dad's knee and offered him a sympathetic smile. Her dad knew Toni well enough that he could see the jokes running through her mind so he placed his hand over hers and gave her the brightest smile he could muster as a thank you for her leaving them unsaid.

"So…? Do you two…? Does this sound…?"

Toni turned her attention to Sam as she asked, "Sounds like it could maybe be a spirit? What do you think?"

"I think that we won't know for sure until we get over there to investigate it more thoroughly," Sam answered as he helped Toni to her feet.

"Really?" The Colonel questioned as if he hadn't heard Sam properly. "You'll really take this case on?"

Seeing her dad nearly in tears choked Toni up enough that it almost hurt her throat as she replied, "Of course we will Dad." She sat down partially on Sam's thigh so that she could wrap her father in a warm hug. "And you should head back to Yvette's to be with her while we pack because she really needs you right now."

Toni's dad leaned out of her embrace nodding gently and then his eyes flew open. He looked positively stricken as a thought hit him hard, "Oh dear! Sam you've only… I'm so sorry to…"

"Dad… Shh… It's…" Toni interrupted as she held her dad's cheek.

She lost her words to the urge to cry, so Sam took over by saying with a reassuring tone, "Tom there's no need for you to apologize, Sir. I'm more than happy to help. That is… If your daughter will let me tag along with her."

Toni shifted so that she was cuddled against her dad's side and she playfully punched Sam's arm almost whining, "Sam…"

Tom hugged Toni closer to him replying, "Thank you Sam. Really I appreciate this more than I can say." He turned Toni in his arms then said to her, "Angel I don't even know what to say… This means so much to me and Yvette… Really… And you're right, I should get back to her… But you…"

Toni stood up and gave her dad a proper hug saying into his shoulder, "I'll be safe, I promise." She leaned back and quickly looked at the man seated on the couch behind her. "We'll be safe. Now go, please? I'll call you once we've hit the road, okay?"

He nodded then kissed her cheek. "Thanks again Toni. I love you so much Angel." After Toni whispered, "I love you too" her dad moved around her to where Sam was now standing. "And you young man…" The Colonel gripped Sam's out stretched hand tightly then pulled the younger man into a hug. "It was a pleasure having you stay with us. Don't forget that you're welcome here any time."

Sam patted Tom on the back a couple of times and then Toni's dad awkwardly apologized as he took a large step back, "Oh… Gee… I'm sorry Sam. Toni and I… We've…" He watched as Sam wrapped an arm around Toni's shoulder while she pressed herself into his side. "We've become 'huggers', but I know that some people… Well they aren't unless…"

"Tom? Sir it's fine. Thanks again for letting me hide out here."

"Anytime Sam, anytime. I have my cell, but if I don't answer it, call Yvette's landline, okay Angel?" The Colonel clarified as he slowly made his way to the door.

"Okay Dad. I'll call you later. Give Yvette my best."

Her dad just nodded then he rushed towards the door. Toni slumped slightly in Sam's arms, so he gave her a comforting squeeze as she said, "Wow so you go from making the world's best impression on my dad while you were here to trying to get to the bottom of his girlfriend's best friend's suspicious death? I think I should nominate you for Sainthood… Or has someone already beaten me to that?"

Sam picked Toni up off the ground as he hugged her, laughing loudly. "You know I'm happy to be of help and well… At least this way I don't have to feel guilty about being sucked back into work."

He set her feet back onto the floor while she blushed then said, "Of course… Okay, I guess that means that we need to pack so that we can hit the road and do the job."

"You mean that YOU need to pack. My bags are still good to go," he teased as he turned her towards the stairs and playfully smacked her on the butt.

Toni stared at him in wide-eyed surprise until his soft smile morphed into a devilish grin. "You better watch that sass Winchester or maybe you'll find yourself sleeping in the truck once we get to New York."

"No one stealing the covers? Promises, promises."

"I hate you so much," Toni replied through a tight frown that was trying to turn into a giggle.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… Love you too," Sam said dismissively. "I'll see if I can book us a room while you pack."

Sam turned towards the living room but was stopped by Toni digging her nails into his forearm nearly hard enough to draw blood. He almost said something but was immediately stopped by the look on her face. She took advantage of his stunned state to pull him down for a long thorough kiss.

"Seriously Sam… I don't even… This is…"

Although it worried Sam that he had once again caused Toni to be completely lost for words, he forced himself not to show her his concern. Toni stamped her foot as she silently cursed herself before she squared her shoulders saying, "You're the best and I really appreciate everything you've done and are going to do."

Sam waited for Toni to make a joke or to say something to end off on a less serious note, but when she didn't he wasn't sure how to respond. Although Toni felt slightly uneasy, she gave Sam a half-smile and said, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I just wanted you to know…"

"I know," he interrupted softly. "I know and there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Toni just nodded curtly in understanding then turned to head up to her room. After she was packed and ready to go, she passed her keys to Sam. While he got comfortable behind the wheel, Toni called her dad (as promised) to let him know that they were heading out. He had managed to get Yvette comfortable and had been manning the phone to filter who she spoke to in order to keep her from being upset any further. He gave Toni the names and contact information for a few close friends of Imelda that would be expecting Toni to connect with them once she and Sam got to Lilydale. The Colonel made sure that the names he gave her were those of the people where were the most receptive of his daughter helping them. One had even offered to provide Toni a cover story of being a relative of Imelda's so that it would be easier for Toni to get information.

As he gave Toni the 'good' news, Tom was checking Yvette's emails where he read some more tragic news. Another member of the psychic community had emailed Yvette to let her know about another horrific death. This one had two fairly reliable and completely terrified eye witnesses that saw a planchette from an Ouija board imbed itself in a psychic's throat during a reading. He wasn't able to provide much more detail about the event beyond that as well as the names of the parties involved, but Toni still made sure to write everything down in detail as he spoke.

"Alright, I think I got all of that. Geez, I'm so sorry to hear that Yvette's lost another friend. I promise I'll call as soon as we find out anything. Love you."

" _Love you too. And thanks again. I know Yvette's found some comfort in the fact that you're working to uncover the truth. Talk to you soon."_

While Toni tucked her phone away, Sam reached over to pat her knee asking, "So what did you learn from the Colonel that has you so spooked."

"Well for one," Toni started slowly as she refocused her gaze on Sam. "I'm pretty sure that Yvette used to work the Psychic Circuit." Sam flashed Toni a look that mirrored her own to which she shrugged and chuckled nervously. "I know right? I know that Army wives usually have a hobby, but this… I didn't see that coming at all." Sam groaned then gave Toni a half-hearted glare. "What? I thought that was pretty clever."

They checked into a room late that night and after a good night's sleep Toni and Sam decided to split up to be more efficient. He got dressed in a suit to play the role of a FBI agent with the local authorities while Toni dressed in a casual, comfortable outfit to go and meet with Imelda's extended family. The only bone of contention between them was who was going to drive her truck. Sam's argument was that he could explain away arriving in a cab by saying that he couldn't find a suitable rental whereas Toni maintained that he would need a vehicle to move from scene to scene more than she would by just going to one house.

"Alright so brunch?" Sam asked when they reached Toni's destination.

"Did you say 'brunch'?" Toni questioned with a smirk. "Sure that sounds good. You find a place and I'll meet you there, okay?"

Toni gripped the frame of the driver's side window to peck Sam's lips before he replied, "Okay, but if you fin…" He paused at the sight of Toni's dramatic eye roll. "Alright I'll call you when I'm finished down at the Sheriff's office."

While Toni was at Imelda's house it was all she could do not to pull her hair out by the fistful or to scream in frustration. She had a vague understanding that most of the people she was going to meet would be psychics or something similarly inclined, but everywhere she turned around she ran into another psycho… PSYCHIC Toni corrected herself silently, who were offering her yet another theory involving sprites or fairies of some sort.

"Here you look like you could use one of these," a woman around Toni's age said as she offered Toni a tumbler of whiskey. "When you get them all together they can be a little overwhelming."

Toni swallowed a couple of generous mouthfuls of her drink then replied, "So I'm not the only one?"

Her savior shook her head with a bright smile on her face. "Nope. By the way I'm Harmony. My Aunt's the one starting the séance in there."

"Oh you're Opal's niece, okay… Yeah that makes sense," Toni replied as she followed the skinny blond dressed like a human incarnation of a robotic gypsy in a box down the hallway to an empty room. "Oh, sorry… I'm Toni. I'm Imelda's second cousin."

Harmony turned with a soft smile on her face then said, "No you're not, so please no more lies between us." Toni opened her mouth to defend herself, but Harmony just waved a dismissive hand before continuing, "I also know that you're here to help so I won't harp on the specifics… Especially since I have a message that I need to pass onto you."

Toni just stared at the other woman, so Harmony took one of her hands and started to pet her arm from elbow to wrist softly. "Toni? Is that right? She wants you to know that there's going to be a… Okay wait… There will be an obstacle for you to overcome… No wait that's not it… You need to…" Harmony smiled to herself then looked beyond Toni with an amused look on her face as she said, "You need to help him with this obstacle."

Harmony continued to pet Toni's arm as if to soothe her as Toni quietly asked, "But how? How can I help?"

She twirled a lock of Toni's hair around her index finger without really paying any attention to the chagrinned look on Toni's face. "Just be your loving, comforting, understanding self Chiclet, that's all that he'll need from you."

"Will?" Toni whispered on the verge of bursting into tears. "How are you…?"

"I really am a Medium Toni. I just wear this outfit during the festival season to appease the tourists. But they want you to know that they are all together and they're fine." Toni bit back a sob but she couldn't bring herself to move away from the woman even though her first instinct was to run away screaming. "He… He was right… It did lie to you about your brothers and they really need you to know they're okay."

Toni dropped the now empty glass in her hand to the ground mumbling a few unintelligible words as she slowly backed away from Harmony. The other woman's hand lingered on Toni's shirt sleeve for a breath before she let it drop to her side when she thought better of trying to force Toni to stay with her. Harmony wasn't sure which part of what she had said or done that had been the cause of the panicked look in Toni's eye, so she knew that she wouldn't be able to say the right thing to remedy it easily. Toni's eyes remained on Harmony as she backed away as if the Medium would attack her if Toni took her eyes off her, but once she reached the door Toni gave up all pretenses as she turned and ran in the direction of the front door.

All of the other women were still focused on their séance, so Toni was able to grab her jacket and leave the house without any obstacles. Her arms got tangled in her jacket's sleeves causing her to almost fall down the front stairs, so Toni forced herself to stop and try to take a breather. She sat down on the concrete stairs and finally managed to get her coat on and then she rested her head in her hands while she collected her thoughts.

She stayed stationary to calm herself down and to force her thoughts to clear into dull roar. As much as Harmony's imitations of her mother's and brothers' mannerisms had freaked her out, Toni now had some confirmation that they all were at peace and that Alex and Will weren't being tortured in Hell like Crowley had tried to make her believe. Even if it was just lip service, Toni focused on the feelings of peace and tranquility that accompanied that thought and let the shock of finally hearing the truth fade away.

When she finally pulled her phone out to call Sam she even let out a sigh of relief when she noticed that her hands were no longer shaking anymore. Sam had left her a voicemail while Toni was talking with Harmony, so she called a cab company to come pick her up instead of calling her boyfriend so that she could go meet him and talk with him in person at the restaurant of his choosing.

At the restaurant she ignored everyone and everything except for Sam sitting at his table sipping his coffee slowly. She didn't care if she was breaking his cover or if she looked like a crazy woman as she ran over to his table and planted an enthusiastic kiss on his lips. Sam was too stunned by Toni's actions to respond, but Toni was quickly brought back to reality by the sound of two men clearing their throats dramatically.

Her eyes landed on Dean and were only drawn away from him when she heard, "You two are the fertile soil where the seeds of happiness will be sown." Toni stared at the server dumbfounded as he placed Dean's order on the table and then he turned and asked her, "What can I get for you today Miss?"

The thought of eating made Toni's stomach churn, but then her stomach growled loudly to remind her that she hadn't eaten yet today. "Um… An egg white omelet, hash browns and a cup of coffee please."

The waiter smiled and nodded then left the three of them alone while he placed Toni's order with the kitchen. Toni's eyes drifted back to the table and refocused on the two manila files that sat between the two brothers. She stood there staring at them wondering silently to herself if these two victims had been like Harmony and had actually had some natural talent and that they had become caricatures of themselves in order to make money. And if that was case, did their psychic abilities have anything to do with their untimely and gruesome deaths?

Toni jumped as she was brought out of her thoughts by someone placing a soft hand on the small of her back. She still wasn't feeling fully alert as Sam eased Toni into a chair that was now beside him, so he held her face and tried to hold her gaze as he quietly asked, "Hey… Are you okay? You look a little pale."

A soft smile spread across Toni's lips as she replied, "Yeah, sorry… I'm good, it's… It's just been a really weird day."

"You are an avenue of peace for anyone who will listen," the server cut in as he placed Toni's meal in front of her.

Toni smirked and forced herself not to laugh as she replied a quick, "Thanks."

"So… What'd you learn at Imelda's?" Sam asked while Toni stared at her food and pushed it around the plate with her fork.

Dean had been devouring his meal, but he stopped abruptly when he heard Sam's question. Toni was still silent so Dean opened his mouth to speak, but Sam stopped his brother with a withering glare. Dean just shrugged abruptly then shook his head and returned to his meal.

Toni finally placed her fork on her plate then turned to Sam and answered with a disgusted look, "Nothing useful for this case so we can wait to get into it later." She then smiled at him and asked as if nothing else had been said, "How about you?"

Sam pulled out the two pictures of the victims, but before Sam could explain Toni pulled both of the photos closer to her asking, "Wait a second! Are…? Are they wearing the same necklace?"

"Yep. Imelda willed it to Goldy… It sounds like she even left a few things for Yvette too," Sam answered with a careful tone.

Toni blushed then replaced the photo in one of the folders. "Oh, right she did. Shit, I totally forgot to pick them up before I left her place… Fuck I guess that means that I'll have to go back… Dammit!"

"Did you want some company?" Sam asked softly while trying not to sound like he was trying to be overly protective (even though that's how he felt) because he knew it might annoy Toni.

Dean let out a sound of disagreement but Sam and Toni ignored it as she finally started to eat her food and just shook her head saying, "No that's okay. I sort of need to talk to the ladies again anyway to see if their séance turned up anything useful… So where are you headed off to now?"

"We thought that we'd go and have a chat with Goldy's next of kin to see if we can get a closer look at that necklace."

"'We'?" Toni repeated not hiding her surprise. She finally turned her attention to look at Dean and said to no one in particular, "So what? Are you thinking that it's a cursed object instead of our original suspicion of an angry spirit?"

"Pretty much," Dean answered somewhat curtly.

"And I'll be riding with him, so here," Sam said as he handed Toni her car keys.

Toni took them and tucked them into her pocket without saying a word. She and Dean then finished their meals in an uncomfortable silence and the three of them left the restaurant together. Since Toni didn't know where Sam had parked her truck, they broke off from the group with Sam telling Dean he'd meet him back at the front of the restaurant in five minutes and didn't wait for his brother to respond.

"So is this 'later' enough?" Sam questioned as they walked down the sidewalk.

Toni laughed softly to herself then said, "It is for the short version. Basically I met a Medium that could finally answer my questions." Sam wasn't ready for that answer and the look on his face made Toni laugh even louder. "Okay… I guess I need to go with a bit longer version then… So… After I found out that ghosts were real, I went to a couple of psychics to try to contact Mom, Alex and Will… And yeah… Surprise, surprise they told me nothing helpful. But then today… Well she nailed it on the head… She told me everything I wanted to know without my having to ask and it kind of freaked me out… But as dumb as it sounds the freak out was in a good way… Like I was so relieved it scared me… Anyway… Yeah… Surprise! You're girlfriend's a freak."

Sam gave her a warm hug as he replied, "There's nothing wrong with worrying about your family. But you're sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah," she said more confidently. "Especially now that the shock's worn off."

"Okay… So I'll call you after our meeting," Sam offered as he kissed her head as a good bye.

When Sam got back to his brother, Dean scoffed and turned to walk in the opposite direction saying, "Well now I know where you were and who you were doing." He added a generous emphasis on the 'who'.

Sam easily caught up with Dean and replied with his own sarcastic bite, "And it's still none of your business."

By the time Toni got back to Imelda's, most of the women had left so she learned very little else about the necklace or any other theories they had come up with to explain what had happened to the psychics. She was able to retrieve the goods meant for Yvette and then she found a quiet place in a nearby park to call her dad and check in with him. Much to her surprise, he was sleeping so she ended up having a lengthy (and emotionally exhausting) conversation with Yvette instead.

Yvette mostly reminisced about old times with Imelda and other psychics that Toni didn't know personally and would probably never get a chance to meet. As she spoke, Yvette broke down into choking sobs so Toni spent the majority of the conversation trying to calm Yvette down enough that she could actually make out what the older woman was trying to say. Even though Toni truly wanted to be anywhere but back in Madison right now with the distraught woman, as the conversation dragged on she couldn't help but feel like she should return home to help her dad get Yvette through this horrific ordeal.

As soon as that thought formed, Toni felt incredibly guilty because that would mean that she would be leaving Sam alone to deal with Dean. So which man needed her more right now? The one that gave her life or the one that first reminded her that she wanted to live life to the fullest?

"Shit," she cursed softly to herself. "So who is it that I'm supposed to help?"

She started scrolling through the new numbers she had just received while at Imelda's to see if she had gotten Harmony's number to try to call her and get some guidance. As she sorted through the new names and numbers, she was cut off short by her phone vibrating.

"Hey Sam, how's everything going on your end?" She asked cheerfully.

She heard Sam take in a long, deep breath so she quickly sobered her tone and asked, "Where are you? I'll come get you so we can talk face to face."

" _Hang on,"_ Sam with a hint of chuckle at her abrupt change in tone when she realized that he might be in distress. _"Just coming up to First and College Court."_

"Huh… Well screw picking you up. Keep walking in the direction you're going then hang a right at the park entrance. You'll find me at a picnic table just a little ways in."

Sam was still laughing when he reached the table where Toni was seated. "How can you always do that?"

Toni smirked and barely turned her eyes up to his face as she answered, "Years of practice."

Sam flopped down on the bench across from Toni with a laugh that sounded half amused and half exhausted. He was holding his hands together in a tight grip on the tabletop so Toni place her hands over his quietly saying, "So the look on your face tell me I don't have to ask, but I'm going to…"

"I can't do this," Sam blurted out. "I… I just can't…"

"Yes you can," Toni asserted just over a whisper. Sam's head shot up from staring at their hands and Toni knew they couldn't have this conversation with her seated in this position. Once she was sitting beside Sam on the same bench with their hands touching both of their thighs she continued in a tender tone, "It's just a job Sam, not a commitment to go back to how things were before. You just do the job, keep anyone else from being killed and then you go from there. Nothing's set in stone for the future."

Sam looked into her face, but this time all of his troubles were instantly forgotten because he could see how tired Toni looked in spite of her having had a good night's sleep. He liberated one of his hands and lightly stroked her cheek saying, "I know you gave me the short and the long-ish version already, but how about you go more in depth now?"

Toni released his grip from her face and held their hands together in their laps again as she replied, "The dark circles aren't from anything to do with the Medium… I just spent the last two and a half hours on the phone with Yvette." Sam's jaw dropped and Toni had to almost physically restrain herself to keep from laughing. "Dad was up all night worrying about her and insomnia seems to have accompanied her grief, so she was still up when I called to check up on them."

"Toni… I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay Sam," she swiftly interrupted. "She doesn't keep alcohol in the house… Well actually I found out that they met at AA so… Yeah… Don't worry about that and… Well after lots of tears and even more ramblings about her friends on the circuit, I was able to get her to promise to rest by reassuring her that we were getting to the bottom of this. And…? We are… Aren't we? I mean aren't you guys?"

She knew it would be a low blow, but she also knew it would be effective as well to use Sam's guilt against him. He hunched his shoulders slightly in depth before he answered, "Goldy had a premonition or something of her death too… A 'the room suddenly turned into a freezer' type of vision, so we're thinking that our initial suspicions of it being some kind of a vengeful spirit was right."

"Really? But who?" Toni asked completely forgetting the exhaustion that had threatened to overtake her just moments earlier.

"We don't know yet. Dean and I agreed we'd cover more ground if we split up and canvassed the area."

"Agreed you say… Or was it more of an 'I have to get away from you so I don't punch you in the face' decision on your part Sam?" She asked as politely as possible.

Well Toni may have let some of her sarcastic humor slip in, so Sam huffed out a laugh and replied, "Maybe more of the latter."

Toni combed her fingers through Sam's hair as she observed with a tearful tone, "He's never kept something like this from you before, has he? I know you've had differing opinions, but this… You've never felt betrayed like this have you?"

"No," he whispered shaking his head. "I was there when he killed Ruby… Hell I held onto her so she couldn't run away, so why wouldn't he just tell me about this?"

Toni opened her mouth as if she was going to answer but then she closed it and just shook her head instead causing Sam to ask, "What? Please whatever it is, just say it."

"Okay, but just remember that I love you more than any other person on this planet who isn't a blood relation… Alright?" Sam gave her a suspicious look, but still nodded. "Well don't look too enthusiastic… Anyway… Maybe in his own misguided way Dean thought that he was protecting you," Toni explained hesitantly while monitoring his reaction closely.

"I don't need protecting," Sam retorted defensively.

 _Yes you do Sam… Hell we ALL do_ Toni thought to herself but out loud she said, "As the youngest of three I totally understand that… But that doesn't mean there weren't times that my dumbass brothers didn't do stuff to 'save me' from heartache or myself that totally pissed me off even though they really thought that they were helping. I never got a chance to break them of the habit, but maybe it's just an older sibling thing that never goes away. I don't know, but he IS your brother so…As stupid as it was and as wrong as they might be, I'm sure that he had his reasons."

Sam snorted out an indignant laugh before saying, "Yeah, I'm sure he did."

"And you need to tell him how much it hurt you and why. Right now he might just think that it's because you lost a girl that you once cared about instead of him understanding that the wounds caused by his betrayal hurt worse than anything else." Sam was listening to her with a considering look on his face, so Toni tried to break this increasingly awkward and sincere moment by looking up at him through her lashes and coyly stated, "Which by the way I think I've been a very good sport about…" Sam frowned at her comment as if he didn't understand, so Toni slapped his arm softly, "You being heartbroken about another girl…? Geez Sam the tension easing jokes only work if I don't have to explain them."

Sam kissed her then smiled answering, "Or maybe I was giving your wisdom the time and consideration it deserves." Toni bit her lip with an uncomfortable look on her face. "And I think you're right. I should tell him, but saving lives is more important. So I work with him, get the job done and then I tell him what I'm really thinking and… Well… Like you say, nothing's set in stone, so I can't worry about it yet. Whatever happens I'll have to deal with it as it comes."

"I said that? Wow that actually does sound pretty wise and mature," Toni nearly whispered with a tearful sniffle.

Sam started to warn her against trying to make a joke by calmly saying "Toni", but she just sniffled again loudly and said, "Which means that you might not take this the wrong way."

Toni inhaled and exhaled with a dramatic rise and fall of her chest as Sam asked softly, "Take what the wrong way?"

"I… I think I need to go home…" Before Sam could respond Toni blurted out quickly, "And I know you aren't totally comfortable with staying here alone with Dean, but dad's having a hard time too and he needs some back up with Yvette… But then again people are dying here, so that's important too…"

Toni had started to cry during her explanation, but it was the sound of Sam's phone ringing that rendered them both silent. Sam pulled it out to check the caller ID and even though they both already knew who it would be Sam still looked to Toni for permission to answer it. She was more than happy to welcome the interruption because she was so annoyed with herself that her indecision had brought her to tears and just nodded vigorously to grant him permission.

"Hey Dean what'd you find out?" He asked not taking his eyes off Toni while she dried her cheeks on the bottom of her shirt. "Yeah… Yeah… Uh huh… What? Wait… No, I didn't catch that… Hang on! Dean! Wait! Slow down! Dean… Okay… Fine… FINE! I'll meet you there."

Sam nearly slammed his phone onto the picnic table's top in frustration, so Toni just sat as still as possible to keep him from redirecting his wrath towards her. Sam seemed to have a silent argument with himself before he turned to Toni and said, "I… I hate to cut this short because I know you need me to be a supportive boyfriend right now but… Damn this job… But Dean has a pretty solid lead."

Toni nodded then asked as strongly as she could, "Where do you need to meet him?"

Sam took her by the hand and replied, "Are you sure? We can…"

"No Sam, I'm good… Really. Dean has a lead that you need to follow up on and I need to help my dad… So let's get you there so you can finish this, okay?" Sam just stared at her silently so she added, "And then when you've put it down I'll come back and get you or meet you somewhere so that we can pick up where we left off."

"The Lilydale Museum of Curiosities," Sam answered trying to hide his mournful tone. "Dean says it's…"

"At the corner of Second Street and Queens Avenue… It isn't too far from here," Toni cut in before finishing almost defensively. "I was going to check it out for anything weird if we didn't find any other plausible leads."

"Okay… Good… So…" Sam started as they walked towards her truck. "Let me know if you need any help with the Colonel." Toni froze at the passenger's side door as she unlocked it and Sam took her keys from her while kissing her lips. "That's me saying 'Go, I can handle this' so you won't feel guilty."

Toni nodded while biting her quivering lips and the quickly climbed into the passenger's seat. Sam stared at the closed door for a few moments, confused by her not wanting to drive, before he moved around the nose of the truck to the driver's side.

Once he was behind the wheel, Toni gripped his thigh tightly then said, "Thanks Sam… I couldn't have left if you weren't okay."


	34. I See a Bible I see The Bible in Your Eyes

"Okay wait… Wait! So the bones…? They were IN his bed? Eww…" Toni said while visibly shivering.

" _Yeah… I know right? Just when you think that we've seen it all,"_ Sam replied with an uneasy laugh. _"So…? How's Yvette doing?"_

Toni settled on her bed against her mound of pillows then replied, "Much better. She surprisingly calmed down a lot when I told her the truth about what was happening and then she did a complete one eighty just before you called to confirm that the job was done… Huh…"

" _Do…? Do you think that she might ACTUALLY be psychic?"_

With a soft groan, Toni started to massage her temples with her left hand and then said, "Yeah… I'm pretty sure that she is… It's really made dinner time conversations… Umm… Interesting since we found out."

" _Oh really? Care to share with the class Ms. McNamara?"_

"Umm… Yeah… That would be a negative. At least not until I see you in person… So what about you? Where did you want me to come and pick you up?"

" _No… No that's okay. Dean and I talked pretty much everything out a bit more like you said that we should… And… As much as he can drive me crazy, you were right; he's my big brother and in his own way he thought that he was doing me a favor and that he was protecting me or whatever… But it's good… We've even worked a couple of small jobs together since then so…"_

When he trailed off Toni softly asked, "So things are…? Better?"

" _Well as good as they can be right now at least."_

Toni breathed out a sigh of relief at hearing the change in Sam's tone when he brought up anything close to the subject of Dean's involvement in Amy's death. She still hadn't told him that she had completely agreed with Dean's decision to kill his former friend because it meant that there was one less monster in the world. That being said, Toni was still more than happy that Sam was feeling less animosity about it now and by him having said change of heart, Toni hoped that they would be able to just carry on. She also hoped that they would never have to broach the subject of Amy's death again because it would most likely put an unnecessary wedge in their relationship and Toni would do anything she could to avoid that.

" _Actually…"_ He stated with a soft teasing tone.

Toni's head quirked to the side as a humorously suspicious grin spread across her lips while she replied, "Is this about another hunt that you need to pawn off on me?"

" _A hunt…? What…? No… No! Nothing like that Toni! I swear,"_ Sam answered while stumbling slightly over his words while he gave his rushed defense.

"It's okay Sam. Like I told you before, I'm more than happy to help you guys when I can. I had already found a couple of things that I was going to try to look into a bit further, but if you have something else for me to work on, I'd be more than happy to lighten your load."

Sam swallowed audibly then almost timidly said, _"Oh… So you have a few jobs already that you're wanting to work on? I… I guess that means that you're busy… Okay… Yeah… Alright… Just forget about it."_

Toni wasn't sure if her boyfriend was being coy and vague just to tease her or if he really did think that she would consider working a job to be more important than anything else that might come out in her life. She let the line between them remain silent while she analyzed his words and tone, but she still had no idea if he was being serious or not before she tried to get Sam to clarify his statement.

"Forget about what?" She finally managed to ask through her confusion.

Toni nearly hung up the phone when she heard Sam's boisterous laugh because she knew full well that it was at her expense. "I hate you so much," she grumbled instead through a tight lipped frown to keep from laughing in relief.

" _Gets more believable every time you say that to me,"_ Sam continued to tease before more seriously saying, _"And if you promise not to hang up on me, I'll tell you what I mean…"_

"Patience… Wearing… Thin…" Toni warned while grinding her teeth together.

" _Okay… Okay… Sorry. So, here's the thing. Dean and I kind of have this tradition where we sort of try to forget about the outside world for a bit and blow off some steam so that we can try to regroup in…"_

"Vegas," Toni whispered while still trying to figure out what exactly Sam was trying to get around to tell her.

" _Actually yeah… Wait… How did…?"_

"I've almost finished a complete read through of the series as a whole from the beginning," she cut in with her own smug tone at being able to confuse Sam so easily.

" _Oh… Right… Right!"_ Sam replied with such an embarrassed tone that Toni couldn't help but smirk wider and mentally pat herself on the back.

Toni let out a soft chuckle then said, "Sam if you want to spend a week in Las Vegas with your brother, you can. You don't have to call to ask me for permission… Or wait… Do the rules change now that you call me the big 'G' word? Hmm…"

" _Or what if I was calling to invite you to join us? Well… To join me? Since our last little mini-vacation was cut short?"_

"Join you…? I… I don't think that I understand," she admitted quietly.

" _Well Dean's all Gung-Ho to hit the bars and casinos and to… *ahem* 'watch' some shows, but that never really been my thing,"_ he said sounding like he had to make an exerted effort not to rush through his explanation.

"Aww… Sam really? Even if I give you the unobstructed go ahead to get smashed and watch some strippers with…?"

" _So instead I found somewhere outside of town where a lot of people like to go camping and I thought that it might be a good spot for a little more one on one time,"_ Sam continued as if Toni hadn't spoken at all.

Toni scowled at the empty room because her joke hadn't seemed to have even registered with Sam before she answered, "You and me camping in the Nevada wilderness? Umm… Yeah… I guess… Yeah… That could be fun."

" _Or not,"_ Sam countered sounding confused about Toni's apparent reluctance at his proposal. _"We could always just stay somewhere on the Strip and take in a few actual shows… Well anything but 'Believe' that is…"_ Sam let out an uncomfortable laugh at the end of his statement.

"Yeah… That could work too… But it's just that… Umm… I wouldn't know…" Toni was now on her feet pacing around the perimeter of her bed. "I mean that… Geez… Sam I've never been camping before so I have no idea what I would need to pack or what people actually do in the middle of the woods for fun, so I don't know how much fun I'd be… Sorry."

" _You…? You've never…? Really?"_ Sam questioned with a surprised chuckle. _"Wow… No… Actually I should be the one to apologize to you because I just sort of assumed that you guys would have done some camping when you were younger and that it would kind of be your sort of gig."_

"Oh… No… We didn't ever because it reminded Mom and Dad a little too much like being stuck out on the front lines. On the rare vacations that we did take all together as a family, we usually just went to a resort of some kind. Mom really liked having all of the creature comforts to be easily accessible when she was trying to relax."

" _Shit. That makes total sense. Sorry I assumed, but… If… Well if you're feeling a little adventurous, I have all of the gear that we'll need so all that you'd have to pack is clothes and then help me with the food and drink."_

Toni sat back down on her bed while she gave Sam's proposal some serious thought. "Well I am always up for trying new things, I guess."

" _And to answer your question about what people do for fun in the middle of the woods… Well there most likely won't be another person around our campsite for about half a mile…"_

As Toni caught onto Sam's not so subtle innuendo, she felt her heart give an excited flutter as she breathily replied, "And that would probably play a major role in what wardrobe I would choose to pack…"

" _Yeah, I guess it would. So…? Is that your way of saying 'yes'?"_

"Where should I meet you?" Toni replied as she started to pull out her largest duffle bag out from under her bed to start packing.

Sam let out a relieved sigh and then said, _"Well I've booked myself into a separate room at the Imperial Palace… It's nothing fancy, but I thought that we could spend a night or two there before heading out."_

"Why Mister Winchester…? Are you trying to seduce me?"

Sam's voice dropped a couple of octaves as he replied, _"Bring that little number you wore that night and we'll…"_

Toni gasped suddenly and her knees threatened to give out on her at the vivid memory of that night, so she quickly sat down on her bed answering again with a breathy, "I'll call you when I hit city limits"

" _Good… See you then."_

After she hung up, Toni remained on her bed and just stared at her phone. She knew that she wouldn't have to worry too much about what she was packing because all she really had to do was to throw some clothes together in a bag, but for some reason she couldn't shake the butterflies that had made a new home in the pit of her stomach. As she laid her clothes out on her bed, Toni reasoned that her nerves were getting the best of her merely out of the anticipation of seeing Sam again and nothing else.

 _What else could it be?_ She thought to herself as she placed the last of her toiletries into her duffle and zipped it closed.

She had to force herself not to quicken her pace as she made her way downstairs because she didn't want to look too eager to see a guy… Even if he was the person that preoccupied her thoughts the majority of the time and her dad already knew that she acted differently when she was doing anything that concerned Sam.

At the bottom of the stairs, she could hear something cooking on the stove and felt the slightest twinge of guilt at leaving her dad again so soon. Granted the McNamaras weren't spending nearly every waking hour with each other like they had over the past few months now that her dad had a girlfriend, but for some reason Toni felt like she should have asked for her father's permission to leave to meet Sam in Las Vegas. She hadn't ever felt that way when she was heading out on a hunt and once again she told herself that she was feeling that way now because this trip was for pleasure (with Sam no less) and not work, which was throwing her off. Even though his last visit hadn't been associated to a hunt, it hadn't caused her to have as much anxiety because she had been in 'problem solving' mode at the time so she didn't get a chance to revel in any feelings other than making things better for Sam.

Toni gently placed her duffle bags in the hallway as quietly as she could before taking in a deep breath to mentally prepare herself. When she finally forced herself to step into the kitchen, Toni quickly turned away quietly cursing, "Oh shit! Sorry!"

Yvette and Tom separated like shrapnel spreading after an explosion as soon as they heard Toni's voice. Tom turned his attention back to the food in the pan on the stove to hide that he was blushing and swiped his left arm over his lips. Yvette didn't seem fazed at all that Toni had caught the two of them kissing while preparing a late lunch and just returned to cutting vegetables with a serene smile on her face.

While still keeping his eyes securely trained on the pan, Toni's dad called out, "Hey there Angel… I didn't expect… I… Uh…"

"We thought you'd be so deep in research mode again that we'd have to pry you away to force you to eat… Again," Yvette finished as she wrapped an arm around Tom's waist. "Sweetheart, I think that the ham is more than well done."

Tom jumped slightly under Yvette's touch and didn't seem to come out of his daze until Yvette claimed ownership of the pan. She took over the last of the meal preparations while the McNamaras stood awkwardly in their places and refused to make any attempts to look at each other.

With eyes fixed squarely on her shoes, Toni replied, "Umm… Yeah I definitely was, but then I got a call from Sam and…"

"Sam?" The Colonel exclaimed worriedly as he turned on his heel to face his daughter. "Is he alright? Did he and Dean have another fight? Does he need you to go and pick him up again Angel?"

Toni shook her head as she slowly raised it replying, "No Sir everything is pretty much back on track between Sam and Dean." They shared a relieved and still uncomfortable smile before she continued. "But he did have a proposal for me…"

Before Tom could respond, Yvette raised the two platters of food they had prepared saying, "And why don't you tell us all about your conversation over lunch Toni? I was thinking that since it's such a nice day that we could eat out on the patio."

Without waiting for Toni's reply of "Yes Ma'am", Yvette started moving towards the living room en route to the sliding glass door to the patio.

The Colonel stepped up to his daughter's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder asking, "But Sam…? He's really okay?"

Toni hugged an arm around her dad's waist as they walked out the kitchen doorway as she replied, "Yes Sir he is. Or at least that's what he said, but I'll fill you in on all the details while we eat."

Suddenly the Colonel stopped in his place and inadvertently jerked Toni back so hard that it made her stumble. Toni was just about to ask her dad what was wrong when she noticed the shell shocked look on his face, but then she realized that he wasn't looking at her. Toni followed his gaze to her duffle bag and then she took him by the hand to give it a gentle tug.

"Come on Colonel. I swear I'll give you all of the details."

Toni's dad nodded and let her lead him out to the patio. As they walked through the living room, Toni caught him looking over his shoulder at her two bags more than once. He knew that the smaller one was used to carry all of her weapons and other hunting gear, but it had been a while since he had seen her use the larger one because she had reserved its use solely for packing for vacations.

Over lunch Toni gave her father and his girlfriend the quickest version of her phone conversation with Sam that she could without leaving out any of the important details. Tom laughed in his head at how shy Toni had been when she admitted that she was going to Nevada to have a holiday with Sam, but he made sure not to let his amusement show on his face or in his voice. For the most part, Yvette remained silent and only nodded in agreement to whatever Tom said. She knew that Tom and Toni were still working on some of the aspects of their relationship and she didn't feel that it was her place to interject her thoughts on the topic just yet. She was going to pick her battles carefully and would make her feelings known when the time was right.

When they were finished eating, Toni had offered to clean everything up because the other two had done all of the preparations of their meal, but her dad was quick to remind her that she had a long drive ahead of her and took over cleaning. Toni wanted to protest, but she knew that he was right. Plus she still had a few last minute things she needed to get done before she could head out so she swallowed her automatic objections. Surprisingly enough, Yvette hung back with Toni and left Tom to tend to the dishes on his own.

Toni hadn't noticed that Yvette was lingering in the living room with her as she packed up her laptop and a few other odds and ends until Yvette wrapped an arm around Toni's waist. After spending some time with Yvette, Toni had learned that it was Yvette that had encouraged her father (and everyone else at their AA meetings) to be more physically expressive with their friends and family. She told them that as social creatures, all humans craved touch and that the smallest gestures could mean the world of difference to someone that was feeling pain. She had explained the same thing to Toni and as much as she tried to be comfortable with it, Toni still didn't feel relaxed whenever Yvette hugged her or tried to reassure her by squeezing the younger woman's hand.

"Have a care while you're in Las Vegas," Yvette cautioned in an eerily tranquil tone as she hugged Toni against her.

Toni laughed uncomfortably as she said, "Of course, I'm always careful. Plus Sam and I aren't expecting to run into any trouble while we're there."

"No Toni that's not what I mean," Yvette replied as her voice hardened slightly while keeping her touch just as soft as before. "It would break his heart if he isn't the one to walk you down the aisle."

"What?" Toni questioned stepping out of Yvette's hold. "I'm not going to get married."

Most people would have added 'while I'm in Las Vegas' but anyone who knew Toni would have understood that she meant it as an absolute. Although she was in her first serious monogamous relationship (something that she had sworn was highly unlikely to ever happen), Toni still hadn't changed her mind about marriage. She knew that Sam was on the same page as her even though she was sure that his reasons weren't the same as hers.

"You say that now, but I see differently," Yvette explained with a knowing smile. While Toni stood frozen in her place trying to process what Yvette had just told her, the older woman stepped up to Toni's side and gently stroked her abdomen. "And you would make such an amazing mother… Why do you continue to deny your father this most precious gift that only you can give him?"

Toni quickly snatched up Yvette's hand then threw it towards her own leg. Yvette opened her mouth to say something, but Toni quickly replied angrily, "You and I aren't close enough for you to be spouting out advice to me like that yet. But… You are important to my father so I'm going to pretend that this never happened, okay?"

"Toni…" Yvette implored quietly.

"No," Toni hissed as she whipped around to face Yvette again before more calmly asserting, "That is my decision to make and mine alone. I don't care if you don't like it, but please try to respect it."

Yvette bashfully cast her eyes to the floor as she softly said, "Of course. I'm sorry that I pushed like that but…"

"Please don't do this," Toni pleaded just over a whisper. "Please?"

"Okay. I'm sorry Toni. Truly I am," Yvette replied as she forced herself to not reach out and touch Toni. "Drive safe and have fun with Sam."

Toni nodded but still refused to make eye contact saying, "Thanks I will. Make sure Dad stays out of trouble while I'm gone too, alright? No wild parties or anything like that."

Yvette knew that it was a good sign that Toni was trying to finish their conversation on a lighter note, so she gently patted her shoulder saying, "It's my pleasure to keep the old man in line."

Toni just nodded with a tight smile then turned to leave the room. Yvette watched Toni's back and brushed a tear off of her cheek. There were so many things that she wanted to tell the young hunter, but they were things that were meant for Toni's ears alone. Before today the only interactions Yvette had had with Toni had at least included Tom, so she hadn't had a chance to have a heart to heart with her. After seeing Toni's reaction to this attempt, Yvette was starting to regret her decision to try to tell Toni what she had seen in a vision after meeting Sam. She thought that the timing had been right, but then again she couldn't dispute Toni's claim that the two women had yet to establish an intimate enough relationship for Yvette to have been so painfully honest with Toni. Even though she had jumped the gun in an effort to keep her vision from coming true, Yvette had a feeling that she hadn't completely alienated herself from Tom's daughter so she stayed in the living room to give them time to say their good byes alone.

Toni was still fuming about Yvette's audacious comments when she left the room, so she forced herself to take a minute before continuing into the kitchen. She wasn't sure if Yvette was just speaking for herself or if she was trying to tell Toni something that her father was feeling that he wouldn't say to her himself. After her conversation with Alex in the gazebo Toni had made some definite decisions for her future to ensure her happiness and to date she'd stayed true to those resolutions (with a few minor adjustments). But she hated to think that her dad's happiness might have been paying the price for her maintaining her own.

After quadruple checking that she had everything packed in her bags, Toni finally felt like she had calmed down enough to face her dad. She found him still doing dishes as she announced sounding very non-committal, "So I have everything packed."

The Colonel turned to face his daughter as he dried his hands and smiled brightly. "I guess that means that you're ready to hit the road then."

Toni shrugged then shyly dipped her head replying, "I guess."

"Angel…" Tom started with a sad hint to his tone as he scooped her into a tight hug. "You were so excited at the prospect of seeing Sam just a moment ago… What's changed?"

After returning her father's embrace with the same intensity, Toni replied with her cheek against his chest, "I still am, but I just… I… I'll miss you… And you know that I love you, right dad?"

"Toni," he replied with an uneasy chuckle as he pushed out of her embrace. "You know that I do. What is this all about?"

Again Toni shrugged, but this time she tried to explain with a sad tone, "I don't know… But whatever it is I just wanted you to know that I love you and that you're one of the most important people in my life and that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you or make you feel a like you aren't."

The Colonel took a step forward but stopped himself from saying anything else and just hugged Toni instead to let her know how much he cared for her. After a couple of minutes Tom patted Toni's back before whispering against her hair, "You drive safe Angel and be sure to check in once in a while."

Toni pressed her cheek against her father's chest as she replied, "I promise I will Sir."

Almost as soon as she parked her truck, Toni's cell phone came to life with a text message. She felt mildly guilty that she hadn't called Sam when she had first got to Vegas like she had promised, but the traffic had been too hectic to give her a chance to do so. But in the unlikely event that he might be annoyed, Toni had already thought up a few ways to get Sam to forgive her.

"Meet me… 348 Twain Ave… Dress to impress… Swear it's important."

Toni scowled at Sam's message because she had nothing but casual 'camping' clothing in her bag. Hell if Toni were to take a close look at her wardrobe at him she would have to admit that she only owned one little black dress and it was still hanging in her closet in her room back in Wisconsin.

She opted to leave her bags in the safety of her truck while she went inside the hotel to find an information desk. She was sure that Sam had found a hunt and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it, so her first objective was to find the attire Sam told her was needed.

"Good evening. Welcome to the Imperial Palace. How can I help you tonight?"

"Hi. I sort of came unprepared," Toni answered. "Where could I…? I mean is there somewhere that I could get a…? Uhh… An amazing dress to wear to a wedding? Oh and somewhere to get my hair and makeup done?" The front desk clerk gave Toni a thorough 'once over' glance with her eyes to which Toni flashed a wad of cash in her jacket pocket and added, "And of course, money is no object."

The hotel worker gave the hunter a warm smile as she replied, "Well Elvis didn't lie, this is Vegas and we thrive on turning night into daytime. I have a friend that works over at 'Planet Hollywood'…" She handed Toni a business card with a hastily scrawled note on the back. "By the time you get to her she should have everything together to make you look like a total knockout."

Toni quickly peeled off a one hundred dollar bill from her stash and placed it on the counter with an amused, "Thanks."

True to the Imperial Palace worker's word, there was a woman standing at the entrance waiting for Toni. She hastily ushered Toni to an upscale salon where there were also three racks of formal gowns waiting. After seeing Toni she quickly pushed one rack aside and told a young man to take it away. She then sat Toni down in a chair and they went over her choice of dresses while a team worked on her hair and makeup.

By the time her hair was almost done, Toni had vetoed at least half of the dresses chosen for her. When she had to make her final decision, Toni looked over the last few remaining gowns and sighed heavily. Sam said that her looking like she was dressed to kill was important and she didn't want to disappoint him, so she just ignored her unease to try on the dresses picked out for her.

Everyone in the salon agreed that the dress with a flowing knee length skirt and elaborate beaded corset bodice looked beyond perfect on Toni. She had told them that she needed something that was easy to move in, hence the shorter than 'formal' length skirt became an instant front runner for any of the dresses she was going to try on.

Toni made her way to the chapel's doors after she stashed a small bag of weapons under a fountain at the other end of the hall (because really? In this get up where else could she hide anything useful?). As soon as she opened the doors, Toni recognized the familiar script of a wedding ceremony, so she quickly slipped onto an empty chair near the front. When she finally looked up to get a lay of the land, she noticed Dean in a charcoal grey suit staring at her with a shocked look on his face. It took Dean nodding to their right before Toni's eyes landed on Sam in a navy blue suit while holding the hands of a woman in a poufy white dress. Sam briefly caught Toni's eye out of the corner of his and waved inconspicuously at her before completing his vows and placing a ring on the finger of the woman beside him.

Toni watched the rest of the ceremony in wide eyed amazement and had to swallow down the bile rising up in her throat while she watched Sam kiss the petite blond woman that was hiding under her elaborate veil. She had read enough of Chuck's prose to now that both of the Winchester brothers were more than capable of offering an Oscar worthy performance when required, but she still wished that she hadn't had a front row seat for this one from Sam. As she reached for the non-existent gun at the small of back, Toni let out a sigh of relief that the familiar pistol wasn't there because she didn't know what she would have done with it in her hand right now.

At the end of the ceremony, Toni stood and clapped politely like she had at the last wedding she had attended. Before anything else could happen, Sam lifted her up off the ground in an enthusiastic hug as he exclaimed, "Toni! I didn't think you were going to make it! I'm so happy that you did!"

Sam set her gently on her feet while Toni tried to mentally catch up with the situation. She was sure that Sam would be trying to relay some sort of information to her, but she felt completely useless knowing that her arsenal was a good thirty feet down the hallway.

What Toni hadn't noticed was that Dean had moved closer to her side as Sam turned to his bride while cheerfully saying, "Toni… Let me introduce you to my wife…"

Toni's eyes bugged out as she looked up to Sam's face for reassurance of a plan, but Sam's eyes remained fixed on the woman that was tucked securely under his left arm. Even though she hadn't realized it, Toni quickly found her back pressed against Dean's chest with her right fist engulfed by his right hand. Once she came back to herself, Toni could tell that Dean had kept her from landing a forceful punch into Sam's bride's face, much to the newlyweds' and her own dismay.

When Dean realized that Toni still seemed to be single-mindedly intent on hurting Sam's new wife, he tried to pull Toni farther away from the alter. He hadn't banked on her strength impeding that at all, but then Toni started struggling so hard that he had to use his height advantage to lift her off the ground to move her.

"No… No!" Toni grunted as she felt her heeled feet leave the ground. "No! It has Sam! Dean! Dean! Let me the fuck go! It HAS Sam!"

Dean twisted his torso away from Sam and Becky with his arm securely wrapped around Toni's waist while she continued to scream at him. He knew that right now she looked like an insanely jealous girlfriend to everyone, but he wouldn't let her hurt his brother or 'sister-in-law' if he could help it because he knew Toni would regret it later.

"Dean…! I swear…! If you don't let me go…!" Toni continued to protest as she tried to thrash out of his hold.

Dean crushed her harder against his chest as he continued to increase the distance between the angry woman and the terrified newlyweds. To his credit, Dean had been able to silence most of Toni's protest by crushing the breath out of her even though he had initially underestimated her strength. Dean still had Toni's right wrist in a bruising hold at her side when she finally started to relax in his arms. They were both still hyperventilating from their exertion and Dean was just about to let Toni go when she kicked her heel as hard as she could into his right shin.

"Shit!" Dean cursed out loudly as he dropped Toni on unsteady feet. "Damn it Toni! That fucking hurt!"

Toni just ignored Dean's words and whipped around to stalk over to Sam and whatever had him under its spell. Immediately after she was turned around, Toni froze in her place at the scene before her. Sam had his arms wrapped around the smaller woman with his back facing Toni to act as a human shield. Dean stepped up beside Toni and caught her arm when her knees looked like they might give out on her at the sad, shocked look Sam gave her over his shoulder.

"Hey Toni?" Dean said quietly into her ear. "Why don't you head out and take a breather? I think I saw a bench in the hallway."

Toni nodded dumbly and mumbled dazedly, "Yeah… Yeah… I'll go and… Yeah…" as she moved to the doors. Once she got out into the hallway, she remembered that it was actually empty except for the pictures on the wall and the fountain by the stain glass window at the opposite end. She bent down to retrieve her bag and then she just flopped onto her ass with her back against the wall. Dean had already closed the double doors, so Toni just sat on the floor staring at the doors with her bag clutched to her chest while she tried to figure out what had just happened in that room.

"Wow. Thanks Dean. I never would have guessed that Toni would have gotten so upset… I wonder what got into her…" Sam said in quiet awe.

Dean turned to face his brother with the full intention of admonishing him. When he saw a genuinely astonished look on his brother's face that he hadn't see since before Sam reached his teenage years, Dean just shook his head and patted Sam's shoulder saying, "I'll talk to her, why don't you just focus on your… *ahem* Wife."

Toni didn't know how long she sat alone on the floor, but her arms started to go numb from squeezing her bag to her chest so tightly. She tried to will herself to move out of the hallway because she wasn't this girl. She wasn't the girl who completely loses her sense of self-worth just because some guy rejected her. She knew that she wasn't and yet she couldn't move from her spot because the numbness had spread from her arms to the rest of her body. She was so out of it that she didn't even register the sight of Sam and Becky walking past her. Sam hesitated and nearly leaned down to check on her, but then he remembered everything that Dean had told him and let himself be led out of the building.

"Toni…?" Dean repeated over and over as he shook her by the shoulders. "Toni… Come on man… Tell me you haven't gone completely catatonic on me… Seriously Toni you have got to snap out of this…"

Dean raised his hand above his head to smack her but stopped when he heard, "If the palm of your hand comes into contact with my cheek, I WILL cut your nuts off Winchester." Toni then turned her eyes up to his face and asked, "So what the hell is it and what the fuck did it do to Sam?"

"Becky?" Dean replied with an uncomfortable laugh as he helped her to her feet. "She's human… But as far as what she did to my brother… I don't know yet…To be honest… Uhh…I was kind of expecting you to be under that veil."

Toni almost stopped in her tracks, but thought better of it and quickly fell back into step with Dean again. "Dean I thought that you knew me better than that… Like I would be caught dead wearing that much acrynalin."

Dean barked out a laugh then gave her outfit along, appreciative look once they reached their vehicles. Toni had slung the duffle bag's strap diagonally across her chest and was looking less than ladylike with her hands on her hips while she stared Dean down.

"Well in my defense, I've only ever seen you in a skirt suit while you were impersonating a Fed, so how was I to know what your taste in dresses is? But this…" He paused to wave a hand vaguely in her direction. "I wouldn't dare try to discourage you from wearing something like this again."

Toni just rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly. "Yeah… Well… Don't get used to it cause this really isn't practical for kicking someone's ass in."

"I think the hole in my right shin would beg to differ." Toni's shoulders slumped but before she could attempt to apologize, Dean added, "So they're heading to Delaware. I was thinking that it'd be best to get out of town and crash somewhere for a bit before continuing on."

As she nodded shallowly, Toni hoarsely replied, "Yeah… Sure… Lead the way."

Toni followed the taillights of Dean's car du jour almost too closely and didn't even have to think to pull over whenever Dean did. When Toni saw Dean pumping gas, she mindlessly followed suit which made Dean start to worry. But Toni tried to maintain the illusion of normalcy by giving him her usual snarky responses when he tried to engage her in conversation even though he couldn't see the usual twinkle in her eye that had accompanied them in the past.

When he rejoined her at their parking spots, as he was passing her the room key when he realized his error. Toni notice that the two keys bore the same room number and couldn't help but sigh loudly. Toni should have known that she would have needed to remind him that she craved her own space right now. But as it was, all she really wanted to do was to get out her dress and heels in exchange for her pajamas and to crawl into bed. She wasn't sure that she would be able to sleep at all, but if she did manage to, she was sincerely hoping that she'd wake up to find out that this whole night had been just one horrifically surreal dream.

Once they were in the room, Dean just sat on one of the beds and tried not to watch Toni and her near perpetual motion. For the most part Toni didn't even seem to be aware of his existence up to and including the moment that she crawled in under the covers of her bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, Dean finally got up to get ready for bed and she became acutely alert of his presence, so she suppressed her urge to cry herself to sleep.

Toni woke up with her face buried in the too thin motel pillow and just barely held back a sob when she remembered that she wouldn't be alone. She took in a few deep breaths to calm herself down and then rolled over to face Dean's bed. As soon as she opened her eyes she noticed that the other bed was still made and didn't look like it had been slept in at all. She then caught a glimpse of the empty glass of 'whiskey' Dean had offered her while she was in bed and the reason why she had slept so soundly became painfully clear.

"Dean!" She nearly screamed as she threw the covers back and ran to the window. "NO!" She finally did shriek at seeing Dean's multi-colored Dodge gone. "I'll kill him! I swear!" Toni repeated over and over as she changed and repacked her bag.

She was half tempted to leave the dress she had bought in Vegas behind, but then she remembered how much it had cost, so she stuffed it into a corner of her travel bag. She was sure that she could find an excuse to wear it again, but burning it sounded like it could be fun too. It didn't take long for her to get her things together and to throw down a tip for the maid before loading herself up with her bags and exiting the room.

As she made her way to her truck she instantly noticed that something was off causing her to drop her bags muttering, "No… no… no… no… NO!" as she ran to the nose of her pickup.

She angrily kicked the flat front driver's side tire and cursed out a few more expletives before noticing that that wasn't the only abnormality. She quickly moved down the length of the driver's side of the truck and around the back until she reached the flat rear passenger's tire. She didn't have to look at either of them to know that there would be slash marks in the sides of both tires which would render them impossible to repair. As she pulled out her cell phone, Toni found a note tucked under her wiper blade. After she snatched it out, she read one simple word written on it. The block lettered "SORRY" immediately had Toni seeing red because she knew to whom the handwriting belonged.

Toni wasn't surprised that Dean let her call go to voicemail, so she made sure that all of her rage was present in voice as she angrily packed her bags in her truck, "You slashed my tires? Are you fucking kidding me Dean? You better fucking pray that you figured out the balance right and didn't bend the rims because if you did fuck it up… Well there isn't an angel in Heaven or a demon in Hell that can save you from me… And you tell me…? From my tone…? Do I sound like I'm joking?"

She quickly hit the "End Call" button on her phone and then kicked the curb defiantly as she heard a man politely say, "Ouch, you got hit too, huh? We've been warning our guests for weeks and have upgraded our security cameras and lighting in the hopes to scare the vandals off… Here… This place has helped out a lot of the other victims we had a couple of weeks ago." Toni tentatively took the business card that was being offered to her. "And don't worry about the check-out time. It'll be more comfortable for you to wait for them in the room… At least there's a T.V. in there."

Toni couldn't help but smile at his helpfulness as she meekly replied, "Thanks. I really appreciate that, but I left my key in the room so I'll be fine waiting out here. But thanks again for the number to the tire place and all."

He smiled sympathetically then unlocked her room door saying, "Good thing I'm the manager then. But in all honesty it's still pretty early so it might be a while until they can get out here to help… I'll ask the maid to hold off cleaning your room."

"Thank you," Toni replied earnestly. When the manager just smiled shyly, Toni pull a bill out of her pocket and pressed it into his palm insistently saying, "Seriously, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kindness."

The middle aged, balding man's eyes briefly grew wide at seeing the one hundred dollar bill in his hand as he retreated to the office replying, "It's absolutely no problem. Take your time."

As the motel worker had predicted, Toni was going to have to wait a while for a tow truck because the guys at the shop wanted to make sure the alignment hadn't been screwed up. Toni wasn't inclined to object because she was somewhat afraid that if she didn't treat her truck right that Alex's ghost would suddenly appear and haunt her in retribution. After her truck had been towed, Toni then found herself in a waiting room, sipping overly strong coffee while no less than three men at a time ensured that her truck was better than drivable.

While she paced the small room, Toni tried Dean's cell yet again with the same annoying result of it going to voicemail. "UGH! You fucking pussy! I just need to know where the fuck you are in Delaware… And don't worry you didn't fuck up my truck so I don't need to hurt you…" Toni took in a bracing breath then more calmly said, "Please Dean? You didn't see him after… Umm… Iowa… Please? He trusted me then and I need you to trust me now. I promise I'll leave all of my weapons in the lock box of my truck. Please Dean? Please don't leave me hanging here… I really just want to help."

Toni placed her phone on her table before continuing to pace and staring at it, willing it to ring. Toni knew that there was no way that Dean could have missed the fact that she had called, but she was fairly certain that there was little to no chance that he would listen to her voicemails.

 _So what do I do now? Just drive to Delaware and hope that I'll stumble into them? Damn it! Call me Winchester, just fucking call me!_ Toni thought to herself while she unconsciously dialed one of her contacts.

" _Toni… Hey…"_ the male voice greeted her uneasily.

Toni laughed as she sat down on a chair and replied, "Hey Bobby. So I take it from your tone that you know all about what's going on, huh?"

" _That I do…And for what it's worth, I'm sorry that you had to see that,"_ Bobby answered with a more comfortable timber to his voice.

"Yeah that did suck, but it wasn't your fault so there's no need for you to apologize. But I was hoping that you could help me with something."

" _Name it and I'll help if I can."_

Toni let out a heavy, relieved sigh then asked, "Would you happen to know where Sam and his new _beloved_ (she may have said that with more sarcasm than she had thought she would) are heading to settle down?"

" _Where Sam and…? Aren't…? You aren't with Dean and Garth in Pine Creek?"_ Bobby asked sounding thoroughly confused.

"No," Toni replied with a humorless laugh. "I'm stuck in Moapa, Nevada courtesy of Dean and the two tires he slashed on my truck."

" _Dean…? He…? Two tires…? That stupid, stubborn ass,"_ Bobby said sounding like he was reciting a curse. _"Damn it! He made it sound like you were there with him and that you both thought that extra back up was a good idea."_

"Well I'm not," Toni stated with a neutral tone. "But it's okay. As much as I wanted to beat him black and blue, I've had some time to think and I've cooled off. I think I can actually finish this with a level head now."

" _Ah Toni… You're a better man than me,"_ Bobby praised as they shared a knowing laugh at their shared inside joke. _"Okay… Well Becky's from Pine Creek, Delaware. From what Dean's told me there's been a few strange deaths around there that all of them are investigating. But first things first… Do you have a pen and paper?"_ Bobby paused long enough to hear Toni's indignant scoff before saying, _"Right… Of course you do. Okay her name is Becky Rosen. She lives at number seven at four two three Heather Street in Pine Creek. It sounds like her high school reunion's this weekend, so you might want to start there."_

"Okay, go that. Th-Wait… Rosen? Becky Rosen…? Like the chick that organized the first 'Supernatural' convention? THAT Becky Rosen?"

" _I'm not even going to ask how you know that, but yeah… That's her…"_

Toni blushed and she hoped that her embarrassment wouldn't show as she said, "Okay well at least now I have a name to go with the face. Thanks for everything Bobby. Umm… Is…? Uhh… Are you doing okay?"

Bobby chuckled softly as he replied, _"I'm alright. Thanks for asking. But you've got a long drive ahead of you, so don't worry about me."_

"Okay. Yeah, you're right. But Bobby? Can I bug you for another favor?"

" _Of course you can Sweetheart, what is it?"_

Toni stuttered in a breath then asked, "If you talk to Dean before I see him, please don't get mad at him about stranding me here, okay? He was right… I needed to cool off before seeing Becky again."

" _There are other ways he could have accomplished that."_

"Yeah… But I don't really like being tied to the bed while still fully clothed," Toni joked in a flat nonchalant tone. When she realized that her joke had stunned Bobby into silence, she tried a different approach, "Seriously Bobby. You've met me and I'm secure enough to admit that Dean couldn't have said anything to keep me here. So please tell him that I'm really not mad at him and that I just want so badly to help him? Please Bobby?"

" _I can definitely do that Toni… So long as you promise me that you'll drive safe."_

"I always… I mean, yes Sir, I'm promise that I will."

Although Bobby had suggested going to the venue for Becky's high school reunion first, Toni couldn't resist the chance to snoop around the home of the woman that had trick, be spelled or drugged Sam to get him to marry her. She kept telling herself that she wasn't mad, but she couldn't ignore how her hands were shaking from suppressing her rage while she worked at picking Becky's door lock. Stupidly Toni's mind remained so focused on trying to calm her nerves that she didn't even spare a glance over her shoulder to check if anyone else was in the hallway. But luck was on Toni's side because she finally did make it inside before anyone could catch her.

A rush of relief flooded through Toni as she closed the door but it was quickly washed away when she turned to face the room because she was instantly confronted with a wedding photo of Becky and Sam. The sight of their smiling faces brought back the feelings of pure rage that had overwhelmed her in the chapel with such a vengeance that Toni barely stopped herself before putting her fist through the glass of the frame. She then stood there and stared at Sam's smiling face while trying to will away her tears. Sam had told her more than once (with and without a soul) that he knew that he was never meant to have a cookie cutter, All-American life and that he was okay with that, but at a moment like this Toni couldn't help but wonder if he was lying to her… And worse off if he was being dishonest with himself.

She almost started to cry and moved her hand to stroke his face when something caught her attention out the corner of her eye. On the wall of the next room, she found a scene akin to the one that she had read about John putting together during his hunts. Bobby had told her that there was a job in town, but seeing it laid out this clearly on the wall made her pretty much forget about her own problems. People were dying here and putting a stop to that was more important than her heartache so she started reading through everything plastered on the wall to keep her focus on that problem.

After going over all of the posted information twice, Toni turned towards the computer behind her in the hopes of finding more of their research there. What she found instead was Becky's twitter page. As Toni read her last tweet of "Going for a romantic trip with the hubster!" she felt such an overwhelming urge to vomit that she actually got up and ran into the kitchen to stand over the sink. She ignored the fact that she had nearly lost her lunch and poured herself a glass of water to calm herself down again.

After what felt like hours, Toni had read through every document that she could find on Becky's hard drive, but was no closer to figuring out what was happening to people in this town. She did, however, now wish that Castiel was still around so that he could white wash her memory like he had to Dean's family after reading things that no intimate friend of the Winchesters should have ever witnessed of their own free will.

Even though a new wave of nausea tried to overtake her after reading Becky novelettes, Toni still had the presence of mind to check for clues around the desk. Despite her desire to gouge her eyes out, people were still dying and Sam was still being taken advantage of and she knew that the only thing that would make her feel better would be to fix one or both of those situations. If she couldn't accomplish either of those goals, she reasoned that beating the snot out of Becky seemed like a fair consolation prize, so Toni still had to work to find her.

Just to the left of the computer monitor, Toni found an overturned picture frame. As she picked it up, her hopes that it would yield a clue were quickly dashed because it was empty. She put it down with a forced calm hand and then she gave the room another quick once over.

 _Fine… I guess I'll be forced to experience a high school reunion after all_ Toni thought to herself with a shudder as she made her way out. At the door she gave the apartment yet another lingering look. This time she didn't try to stop herself before she punched the glass out of the wedding photo.

Although it was the only form of vengeful retribution that she could think of to satisfy her 'bloodlust', Toni groaned and silently cursed her stupidity when she saw the small cut oozing blood between her knuckles. Punching the photo was childish and hurt no one but herself, and yet as she placed her fist in her mouth to suck at her wound, Toni couldn't help but feel an odd sense of satisfaction. Toni felt a wide smile spread across her face as she continued down the hall still soothing her wound with her tongue because she now was beyond certain that the violence was out of her system and that she could face Becky without actually punching her.

"Toni?" She paused when she heard a familiar voice call her name as she made her way down the apartment building's hallway. "Toni! Wait up!"

She paused in her spot before forcing herself to turn around while keeping her still bleeding hand hidden behind her back. Toni braced herself not to show her true emotions once she was turned around, but she couldn't have suppressed her shock at meeting a chestful of Sam Winchester if she had tried. She nearly laughed because she knew that his close proximity meant that he must have run over to her, but him engulfing her lips with his own silenced any reaction she could have mustered.

"I'm so sorry Toni," Sam nearly whispered with his lips beside her ear. "I never meant to hurt you… Please tell me that you believe that…"

Toni looked up into his eyes and felt her lip start to tremble so she quickly bit it to silence herself. As she moved her eyes to the ceiling in an effort to regain her composure, Toni caught a quick glimpse of the group assembled behind Sam. He whipped his head around in a redundant effort to confirm what he already knew; Toni wouldn't want to be completely vulnerable in front of an audience, especially not right now, so he gripped her by the shoulders and turned them so that her back would be facing the group.

Before Sam could utter another word, Toni pulled out her right hand to show Sam the small cut between her knuckles saying, "I need to clean this up."

Sam gently took her hand in both of his then kissed her palm before replying, "Yeah… You should. I wouldn't want you to bleed to death or anything."

Since the injury was so minor, Toni gave Sam an appreciative smile at his well-placed joke and said, "I texted you the name of a hotel that I booked us a couple of rooms in case you guys got this all figured out… Meet me there when you're… Umm… Done with everything else and then we can talk… Just you and me… Without a crowd of onlookers, okay?"

Sam's eye brows knitted together in a confused scowl as he pulled his phone out to check it. When he saw the message she had just told him about, Sam apologized as quickly as he could, "Oh crap… You must have sent this when Crowley showed up while we were dealing with two other… So I…"

"So you get a free pass for being preoccupied while dealing with demons when I messaged you," Toni interjected with an understanding tone Sam had never heard from her while she lightly ran her finger over a red mark over his right eye. "But I'm still bleeding so I should really go and take care of this. You finish up whatever you're doing here and I'll text you my… Our room number so you can meet me later, okay?"

Sam wanted to protest and to beg her to stay, but her plan sounded more than reasonable, so he just nodded, kissed her cheek then said, "Okay, I'll see you later."

At the hotel Toni paid cash upfront for both rooms for two nights (even though she only anticipated them staying there for one) and left Dean's key at the front desk for him to pick up. As she walked back to her room, she sent each of the Winchesters a separate set of final instructions and then hopped in the shower to cover up the fact that she was having one last cleaning bout of tears to mark the end of this chapter.

After she had changed into her pajamas consisting of a pair of loose fitting flannel pants and a skin tight baby doll t-shirt, Toni started tracing an oval over the floor of her room. She'd plugged her phone into an outlet and placed it on the table so she could check it at regular intervals during her pacing, but it remained silent and message free.

As she continued to pace, Toni almost started to question her decision to try to take the reins by ordering the Winchesters around kind of like their father used to when he was alive. At the time she thought that they would respect her for taking the initiative, but now she wondered if she'd made the wrong move and had actually alienated them completely. When she got close to her phone again, she picked it up to illuminate the screen to double check for any missed calls or messages and jumped at the sound of someone knocking at her door.

Toni hadn't once honestly considered that it would be anyone but Sam at the door and opened it right away while looking less than presentable for anyone to see her but him. Once the door was opened all the way, Sam tried to ignore the cloth that looked like it had been painted over her chest, but a small part of him knew that Toni wouldn't have worn it if she hadn't wanted him to notice how she looked in it. After a long lingering look at her chest, Sam let his eyes wander to her face and everything he wanted to say crumbled under a nearly violent onslaught of tears.

"It's okay Sam," Toni said as she tenderly held his cheek in the palm of her hand. "You've had a rough week… I've had a shitty week… You fought… What was it? Two demons and a psycho super fan before running into Crowley? It's been shittier than anything else we've dealt with together, so why don't you go, get ready for bed…? And then you can… can… just hold me so that we can get a proper night's sleep… And then we'll talk about it all in with every gory detail tomorrow, okay?"

Sam still looked uncertain as he let Toni lead him into the room, but he didn't offer any protests. She caught the conflicted look on his face so she pulled his lips down to hers for a soft lingering embrace before she quietly ordered, "Now I'm going to lay down in the bed… And you're going to wash off the stink of these last few days and then you're going to join me… Understand?"

"Toni… I…" Sam countered as he grasped her hips to keep her from moving and rested his forehead against hers. "Please…? I…"

"Tomorrow Sam… Sleep tonight and then gross heavy shit tomorrow, alright?" Toni pleaded nearly on the verge of tears.

Sam just nodded then kissed her nose before he picked up his bag and moved into the bedroom. Toni stood cemented in her place for a moment and then finally found that she could move. After drying some involuntary tears that had fallen on the bottom of her t-shirt, Toni forced herself to step over beside the bed. At the edge of the mattress, she stood completely still again to listen to the sounds of Sam preparing for bed and then forced herself to hear them as being nothing but normal as she slipped in under the sheets.

Toni remained on her side, just to the right of center of the mattress so that Sam would be forced to cuddle in against her back or he could sleep on the other side of the bed with a gap in between them if he chose to do that instead. But she still shifted her position slightly a few times feeling like she couldn't get comfortable at all for no good reason that she could identify.

When Toni heard the bathroom door open, her body finally stopped moving without her brain telling it to remain still. She hoped that Sam would take her invitation whole-heartedly and without reservation, but she wasn't certain that he was going to so she opted to play possum until he made his decision. While Toni remained motionless, she heard Sam moving around the room without fully understanding why he hadn't joined her on the bed yet.

Toni subconsciously jumped slightly at feeling Sam's arm slide over waist. She could feel his reluctance to get too close to her too quickly, so she pressed her buttocks gently into his groin to let him know that he was a welcomed presence. Almost immediately after that Toni felt Sam press his chest against her back and they both shifted slightly so that they were more comfortable on the bed.

Toni pulled his arm up over her chest to force him that much closer to her body as she quietly asked, "Do you have enough room?"

Sam shifted his lower half so that it was pressed down the length of her as he replied against her ear, "Yeah, I'm good."

"Mmm…"Toni praised as she tangled her legs with his and pressed her hand against his lower back to force him even closer. "This…? Sam… This is perfect for the best night's sleep ever…" Toni nuzzled in closer to the bedding and Sam's body as she sleepily commented, "Or the only non-restless night's sleep I've gotten all week."

Sam pressed his nose behind Toni's ear and involuntarily exhaled a soft breath against her skin at hearing her last comment which caused her to shudder against the full length of his body. He then kissed the back of her ear and worked his way down to Toni's throat until he heard her moan before whispering, "I'm so sorry Toni. It wasn't me…"

"Sam…" Toni growled out as she once again tried to settle against him to fall asleep. "Not now… Sleep now and then tomorrow… Tomorrow… We'll talk tomorrow… Just sleepy now…"

Despite her adamant protests, Sam settled in against her back with another kiss behind her ear and whispered, "I really am sorry Toni…"

"Sam!" She barked again into the pillow before a sleepy, "Tomorrow."

"Okay," he replied as he nuzzled his nose into her hair. Toni thought that Sam was finally going to lay back to fall asleep, but then she felt him kissing the shell of her ear again because there was one thing he needed her to hear before they fell asleep. "Toni I swear, we didn't even consummate the marriage so it's been…"

Before Sam could get out the word "Annulled", Toni had pushed herself out of his arms. He watched her as she stood beside their bed to get her bearings and almost called out to her, but instantly thought better of it. Toni did nothing more than scoop up the first room key and jacket (not realizing that it belonged to Sam) before making a quick retreat through the door.

Dean was startled out of his state of near sleep by someone pounding at his hotel room door. He was so out of it that he tried to recall a girl that might have had an over protective father or an angry partner that might be looking for him and would have been knocking at his door, but when he didn't come up with one he just unlocked and opened his door.

Before Dean could identify the tear streaked face of the petite woman wrapped in a jacket that was three sizes too big for her, Dean heard her ask, "Can I sleep on your couch?"

Dean remained stationary in the doorway and Toni immediately noticed that he was too out of it with the need to sleep that he couldn't catch up to what was happening or what she was asking.

Before Dean could do anything else, Toni forced her way into the room while drying her cheeks on Sam's jacket's sleeves and saying with a more insistent tone, "I just need somewhere to sleep. All I want is one night on the couch that I paid for and I'll give you enough cash that you won't have to run any credit card scams for the rest of the year, okay?"

"Toni… That won't be necessary," Dean answered sadly as he pulled a blanket off his bed and then draped it over her curled up frame on the couch. "Let me know if you need anything else."

When she didn't reply Dean went out to his room door to double check on everything in the hallway. When he looked towards the room Toni and Sam were meant to share he caught his brother's eye and informed him through a hushed yell, "She's asleep on the couch, so just sleep it off Sammy."

Sam nodded then turned back into the room he'd inadvertently chased Toni out of without another word. She had asked him for space for the first time that he could recall, but he hadn't given it to her because he was afraid she was going to try to avoid the topic. He hadn't ever wanted to know what it would be like to push her away, but he did take a small amount of solace in the fact she hadn't made it past Dean's door.

Dean closed his door as quietly as he could and shook his head at the thought of how Toni and his brother were being so stupid and stubborn with each other right now. He also noticed that Toni hadn't taken Sam's jacket off and just barely stifled an exasperated laugh.

What neither Winchester knew was that Toni hadn't fallen asleep and was still wide awake and staring at the back of the couch while going over all of the details that she had planned for the next day. She had arranged to have breakfast and all the fixings delivered to the room she was supposed to be in right now, cuddled together with Sam safe in his arms, and she was sincerely hoping that it found the three of them before their relationships deteriorated beyond repair.


	35. All Those Codes

Toni woke up with her face pressed to the back of the couch to the sound of Sam and Dean's murmuring voices.

"The guy said that it's already been paid for, but I did give him a tip," Sam explained in a hushed, uncomfortable tone. "I guess she ordered it all yesterday."

While the Winchesters were talking, Toni pulled herself up so that she could look over the couch back and answered, "Yeah I did. And I don't know about you guys, but I am starving."

They both gave her an uneasy smile, although Dean couldn't help but nod enthusiastically. Sam's smile however slowly turned into a sad frown as Toni approached them. She tried not to let her demeanor change from being open and inviting, but as she moved to push her hair out of her face she couldn't help but wince at the pain that shot out of her knuckles and ran down her arm. She knew that there was no way either brother could have missed the look of pain that crossed her face, but Toni still tried to just continue as if it hadn't happened at all as she made her way to the door.

Sam nearly reached out to her to ask if she was okay, but stopped himself for fear of angering her like he had the night before. Dean once again just shook his head at how ridiculous Sam and Toni seemed to still be acting without either of them noticing.

At the door Toni noticed that neither brother was following her, so she paused with her hand on the handle and tried not to hang her head as she said, "I thought that you guys could tell me all about what happened while we ate…" She let out a quiet sigh then turned to face the brothers and forced herself to keep her tone as humorous as possible while she added, "I just figured that we could cover up any awkward pauses by eating or whatever."

Dean chuckled somewhat nervously then opened his room's door replying, "Well the longer we stand here, the colder it's all getting."

Sam still looked uneasy, but he just nodded and followed the other two without a word. Dean made it to the other room first so Toni rushed to his side to let him into her room. Once she was alone with Sam, Toni hesitated at the door again. She swallowed hard then turned to make sure that he was following and tried her best to give him an encouraging smile.

"If we don't hurry then anything that Dean hasn't eaten yet will be cold," Toni joked weakly.

Sam let out a quick laugh then said, "Yeah that's true, but the fruit you ordered is best served chilled and I think it's safe to say that Dean won't be touching any of it at all."

"Yeah… That's true…" Toni turned to unlock her door once again, but suddenly she stopped, turned to face Sam again and frantically apologized, "I hope you don't mind that I'm still wearing this…" She nervously tugged on the bottom of his jacket that she was wearing and stared at her hands as she more sheepishly continued, "I only meant for you to… And I don't think it's appropriate for…"

"It's fine Toni," Sam interrupted with a tender tone. When Toni nodded faintly, he took a chance and petted the length of her messy, sleep tousled hair offering, "Although I could distract him if you wanted to change out of it. I mean since it's so big on you, it looks kind of awkward for you to move in it."

Toni lifted her head up to look Sam in the eye, placed her hand over his where it rested on the side of her face and softly said, "Yeah I probably should… Wouldn't want to get breakfast all over this… Okay… But seriously, I think we've left Dean alone with the food a little too long now."

Sam reached around Toni to open the door chuckling softly while they entered the room. As they moved to separate so that Toni could find a hoody of her own to put on, they both froze completely in their spots at the sight that met them. Much to their dismay, Dean was seated at the small table on the left side of the room sipping a cup of coffee while the trays of food appeared to be completely untouched.

"Guess we were wrong," Toni commented without trying to hide her awe. "Well why don't you guys dig in while I…?" After she had her back turned to the brothers, Toni cringed slightly as she finished with a slight distaste in her tone, "…Slip into something more comfortable."

Dean continued drinking his coffee while he just watched the other two in silence. Sam glowered at Dean, not sure how else to react to the look on his brother's face, and passed him a plate saying, "You could have started eating you know."

"And risk getting into trouble for eating too much? Or for letting the food get cold?" His brother countered while Sam just shook his head with a faint smile on his face while they dished their food. Dean stole a quick glance over his shoulder and then quietly joked, "Plus it's easier to eavesdrop if I'm not chewing a mouthful of food."

"Especially the way you eat," Toni teased as she stepped up beside Dean to fill her plate while playfully bumping her hip against his. "Although with our lung capacities it'd take a hell of a lot more than you eating to drown us out if we did decide to have a fight out in the hallway."

"No… Toni… I…" Dean tried to defend himself as he settled at the table again.

"Yeah, you did," Toni asserted with calm certainty. While she was still standing behind her chair, Toni looked between the Winchesters seated at opposite sides of the square table then shook her head as she explained, "I wasn't mad last night… Okay maybe I was annoyed, but mostly I was tired. I just wanted all of us to get a good night's sleep so that we could talk about it all over breakfast. So…? Now that we're all awake, how 'bout you boys enlighten me about what was killing the fine folks in and around Pine Creek, Delaware."

Sam swallowed his mouthful, but still looked unsure so Toni fixed her full attention on him and gave him a pleading look after she was settled in her seat. That seemed to convince him that she was sincere because he gestured for her to take a seat as he said, "You heard right yesterday… It was a demon…" Dean cleared his throat causing Sam to answer, "Right… Two demons…"

"Okay that makes sense… People sell their souls and they get a wish granted, we knew that already… But these people… It reminded me more of what happened with Je-…" Toni abruptly stopped herself then nervously looked between Sam and Dean to make sure she hadn't offended either of them at all with her commentary. "I… I thought that when you made a deal with a crossroads demon that you got ten years… Those people didn't even seem to get a month let alone years."

"Yeah that is usually how it goes… Well unless you're a Winchester," Sam joked to let Toni know her near faux pas hadn't bothered them.

Toni smiled gratefully as Dean picked up the narration, "But these guys were greedy sons of bitches. They didn't want to wait any longer than they had to in order to claim the souls."

"Huh… They can do that?" Toni shook her head then scolded herself saying, "Duh… Demons Toni, of course they can. Rules were meant to be broken, right?"

"Actually," Sam started with the same tone that both Dean and Toni had gotten used to hearing when he was going to correct them and explain their error. "When it comes to deals, demons are pretty stringent to keep to their word. Crowley says that it's to ensure 'consumer confidence', but I think they like having some level of superiority over us lowly humans."

"Crowley," Toni spat out angrily. "Remind me that I owe him a nice long bath in Holy Water the next time I see him."

The brothers shared a look of wide eyed surprise and then Dean held up his hands to indicate that he wasn't going to be the one to poke that wound and face Toni's wrath. Sam's eyebrows knitted together until realization hit him. "Your brothers," he stated through a whisper knowing that he was right.

Toni's jaw clenched and she kept her eyes on her food while she pushed it around her plate with her fork. She swallowed hard, her previous voracious appetite completely forgotten, as she answered, "Yeah. It's bad enough that they both died too young but to lie and say that they're in Hell…?" Toni threw her fork to her plate then looked Sam in the eye and finished with an even, eerily calm tone, "Well I don't care what he's done to help in the past… Next time I see him, I will find a way to make him bleed."

Dean mumbled something that neither Sam nor Toni could hear while Toni watched him pushing away from the table out the corner of her eye. With an exasperated eye roll, Toni focused her attention on the elder Winchester saying, "You never actually listened to any of my voicemails did you?" The guilty look on Dean's face was answer enough for Toni causing her to let out a tension easing laugh in the hopes that he would actually relax. "Yeah I was pissed at you, but you were right, I needed to… Gain some perspective. And you've obviously gotten to know me well enough by now because I was so incensed that I wouldn't have listened to reason which did require drastic measures to keep me away from… Her."

A devilish smile spread across Dean's face as he moved back to his spot at the table and smugly replied, "See Sammy? I told you that I'm the smarter brother."

Sam and Toni groaned in unison before Toni replied, "Just next time…? Could you just like put a boot on my truck or something? I nearly had a heart attack when I thought my truck might be too fucked up to drive."

"Sure, yeah no problem… Although I'd prefer if it didn't ever come down to that again," Dean replied with an easy tease.

"Agreed," Toni and Sam eagerly answered at the same time.

While they all tried to laugh it off, Dean stood to refill his plate announcing, "And on that note… I'm going to get everything packed up so that we can head out."

"Oh… Umm… About that," Toni called out as she twisted around to face him over her seat's back. "I've already paid for two nights and they have my card on file for both rooms if you want… Umm room service and stuff so there's no rush."

Toni turned back to her meal to try to continue eating again while the brothers shared a look behind her back that she caught on Sam's face. "What? Dad's been really generous about dipping into our college funds so that I can splurge once in a while so I wanted to treat you guys."

Sam lifted Toni's left hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles as a sign of his appreciation. Dean whistled lowly then said, "Damn! Where did my brother find you? Hey… Toni? Whenever you get tired of slumming it with Sasquatch over there, you let me know, okay?"

Again Sam and Toni groaned simultaneously before Dean could more earnestly say, "Alright I'll leave you two to talk and then I'll check in with you later about grabbing some dinner together."

Toni's eyes remained fixed on her plate of food so she missed the grateful look that Sam gave his brother. When she heard Sam clear his throat to speak, Toni stood up abruptly and turned her back on him while she refilled her coffee mug.

"More coffee?" She asked as she walked back to the table.

Sam could see how badly her hands were shaking, so he took the coffee pot from Toni answering, "Yeah… Thanks."

They sat in an awkward silence for a bit and then Toni started tearing the crust off a piece of toast as she said, "So… Not that I… But I guess I do… Umm… What did Becky…?"

Sam watched Toni shred the piece of toast into a mess of small pieces and had to force himself not to laugh at her familiar nervous habit. Before answering her, Sam slipped a paper napkin over the mound of mushed up bread on her plate. She didn't look up from her hands as she started to tear the paper into tiny pieces, but there was no way Sam could have missed the grateful smile that spread across her lips.

"She slipped a love potion into one of my drinks when we first met and then kept it up until… Well until she ran out," he answered softly.

"Oh… Yeah… That makes sense," Toni said just barely hiding the tears that were threatening to overtake her and were lingering in her voice.

Sam started to reach out to her but stopped when she lifted her head to look at him. Although tears were making her eyes sparkle, Toni managed to keep them at bay as she said, "Okay… But from what I've read… Not that I ever planned on using one or anything, but I thought that they only work if the person being drugged has feelings for the other person… You…? You're not into Becky, are you?"

"She mentioned something about that too," Sam explained as he took her left hand in his right. "But I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that I do not and never have had any feelings for Becky Rosen. Well none except for the fact that she totally freaks me out now."

"You say that now, but… Well… How could the potion have worked as effectively as it did? I mean you were like full on moony eyed in that chapel," Toni asked with a skeptic look on her face.

Sam sighed then shrugged replying, "I'm really not sure how any of it was supposed to work but well… I don't know… I've always kind of… Well… Felt sorry for her and I never wanted to hurt her feelings so… Maybe whatever she gave me just played up those emotions."

"So the love potion made you want to marry her because you didn't want to hurt her feelings? Huh…" She finally made direct eye contact with him then added, "That does sound more like you."

"And I honestly NEVER meant to hurt you," Sam stated firmly while holding her hand between both of his tightly.

Toni shifted in her seat so that it was easier to look at Sam straight on and Sam just watched her as she leaned down to kiss his knuckles. "And YOU didn't. The way I see it, this whole mess was Becky's fault. You didn't ask for her to slip you a love potion and as a result of that I can't be held responsible for what might happen to her in the future."

"Toni…" Sam cautioned as he ran a finger over the scabbed over cut between her knuckles on her right hand that was now resting on the table.

"Okay… Okay… I promise I won't punch… Okay I won't hurt her… But can I at least key her car or something? I mean, I did have to live through the trauma of having two slashed tires fixed without hurting anyone or anything," Toni replied with an exaggerated pout.

Sam leaned over to peck her lips then said against them, "Alright… So long as you promise no bodily harm, okay?"

"Deal," Toni answered before kissing him again. "So we should probably clean these plates up and put everything out in the hall to be picked up."

"Sure… Yeah, good plan," Sam answered with a soft smile.

After they had all of the dishes back on the carts, Toni rolled them out into the hallway. Sam still found himself watching all of her movements with a careful eye just in case her demeanor changed abruptly in contradiction to everything she had said over breakfast. She maintained that she wasn't angry or upset with him, but he knew that her body language would give her away if that wasn't the God's honest truth.

When Toni turned back to the room, she started rubbing her temples and yawning as she said, "I don't know what your guys' plans are, but a couple of the jobs I found pre-… Well you know, weren't too far from here."

Toni started grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes and was stilling yawning profusely, so Sam wrapped her into a warm hug. "That sounds doable, but are you feeling alright?"

She rubbed her cheek against his chest as she answered, "I wasn't lying when I said that I haven't slept well all week." She pushed back on his hips so that she could look him in the eye, but still made sure she remained wrapped in his arms. "And sleeping on a couch last night didn't really help that situation much either."

"I know what you mean," Sam said as he unzipped her hoody and slowly slipped it off her shoulders. Once it was on the floor, Sam pulled the knot out of her flannel pants and used the strings to lead her back towards the bed. "I barely slept last night, so I was thinking… Maybe we should take a nap."

"You were thinking that were you?" Toni replied seductively. When the back of Sam's knees hit the edge of the mattress, Toni gave him a gentle shove to help him fall back onto the bed. He sat up a bit straighter which allowed Toni to step in between his legs where she took a hold of his cheeks and kissed his lips. "I think you could talk me into that."

Toni then turned and walked over to the side of the bed and slipped in under the covers. Sam was left laughing softly to himself as he stood to shed his flannel shirt and jeans so that he could join her.

After he had crawled in behind her, Toni quietly said, "SO ready for a nap."

"I hear ya," Sam agreed as he molded his chest over her back.

Toni let him hold her close for a few breaths and then she wiggled out of his grasp to roll over onto her left side to face him. "Do you Sam? Because…"

"Last night I really needed you to know that I had been faithful to you before we fell asleep," Sam interrupted as he gently raked his fingers through her hair. "And I know you didn't want to get into any heavy shit last night, but I couldn't relax if you thought that I had had sex with another woman after we had agreed to be exclusive."

Toni couldn't maintain her eye contact with Sam during his explanation and then whispered a quiet "Oh" in response.

"Yeah… But I'm still sorry if it seemed like I wasn't respecting your feelings."

Toni nodded then leaned in to kiss Sam again, but when he rolled onto his back and tried to pull her down onto his chest she resisted. He let his grip slacken completely and Toni took advantage of that to move and cuddle into his side. Sam remained on his back and let his hand fall to her hip while Toni settled with her head on his shoulder. Toni nuzzled against his neck and kissed it quickly before resting her head more comfortably on his chest to use it as a pillow.

"Remind me I owe you one amazing round of sex," Toni said as she moved his hand to rest just under the curve of her breasts. "But first I really want to get some proper rest wrapped in your arms… Please Sam?"

He ran his fingertips over her stomach until he rested his hand on her hip once again and then quietly asked, "If an apology gets me one round, what do I have to do for two?"

He thought that Toni had fallen asleep because she didn't answer right away, but then she hugged his torso with the arm she had slung over his stomach as he heard her groggy voice reply, "Get some rest so that you can get it up more than once and we'll see."

Even though he knew it would disturb her, Sam let out a hearty laugh which caused her head to bounce on his pecks. He was going to apologize, but Toni just rolled over, grumbling under her breath as she settled with her back to him. Toni unconsciously pressed her buttocks into his side, so he quickly rolled onto his side so that he could press his chest against her back. He wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet, but he did force himself to relax with Toni in his arms when he heard Toni moan happily before her breathing evened out into a quiet snore.

Toni once again awoke to the sound of murmuring voices. As she rolled onto her back, Toni became more alert and realized that she was only hearing one voice and just his side of the conversation. She sat up slowing and pulled her knees up to her chest while she continued to watch Sam pace while talking on his phone. Toni was fairly confident that she knew who it was on the other side of the line by Sam's mannerisms and she had to press her face into her thighs to stifle a giggle at how cute Sam was while trying not to wake her.

"I don't know. She's been sleeping like the dead so that usually means that she'll be out for a while… How should I know? I'm not from here either! You know, this is a pretty nice hotel, so why don't you ask the concierge? Seriously…? Fine… Just call down to ask one of the people at the front desk… Or she did say to feel free to order room service… She didn't seem worried that everything might be overpriced…"

Sam was so focused on his phone conversation that he didn't notice Toni was awake until she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his back.

"Oh shit… No! Not you… Whatever Dean…" Toni kept her arms around his waist while she poked her head under his left arm so that she could kind of see his face. "Hey Toni, I'm sorry if I woke you."

She shook her head causing his arm to hook more snuggly around the back of her neck. "I slept unbelievably well and was ready to wake up." Every muscle in Sam's body seemed to relax around Toni's hold which made her feel kind of sad. She hadn't meant to scare him into submission to that extent, but that was a problem that she would have to deal with at another time. "Tell him to check in the fridge," Toni whispered to make sure that Dean wouldn't over hear her.

"What?" Sam asked her before turning his attention to the phone to scold Dean again. "No… Just… Dean could you stop whining for like a second?" While Dean tried to defend himself, Sam pulled his phone away from his ear to quietly ask Toni, "Sorry I didn't catch what you said with him… Well… You know…"

Toni released Sam and moved around his body to stand in front of him while Sam was talking to Dean and answered, "Tell him to check the fridge. I wasn't sure what he liked the best so I bought a couple of different bottles of whiskey."

Sam smiled but could only shake his head when he saw how nervous and shy Toni looked right then. He reached out to squeeze her uninjured hand encouragingly and didn't take his eyes off her face as he said into his phone, "Are you just about done…? Good because Toni says that she bought you a couple of bottles and put them in your fridge already." Sam paused and Toni assumed that Dean was checking the fridge like Sam had told him to do. She bit her bottom lip hard to as Sam's hand quickly moved the phone away from his ear. "Dude! Thanks a lot for bursting an ear drum… What? Oh… Huh… Okay so that means that you're totally set then, right? So…? Yeah… Good… Talk to you then."

After Sam terminated his call, he leaned down towards Toni to place his phone behind her on the table. She wasn't sure what Dean had said to Sam and couldn't help but shudder at Sam's closeness.

"Five isn't exactly a 'couple'," Sam said in a hushed tone against her ear. "Dean said to say thanks and to tell you that you're too good for me."

"It's…" Toni started with a breathy voice. She hadn't realized that she had closed her eyes, so she forced herself to open them before continuing, "Like I said, I wasn't sure what he liked… And I was serious when I told you that I wanted to treat you guys. I know things have been less than perfect since your latest bout with doppelgangers and all… But…? You're not upset that I did it, are you?"

"Upset?" Sam questioned with a soft laugh. "No… Never mad when someone does something nice for us. Thank you."

Toni swallowed thickly and remained frozen in her place because he hadn't moved since leaning over her when he put his phone down. Normally she was more than happy to be pressed up against Sam's body, but right now it just made her nervous. She knew that she was being silly, but she still wasn't sure if Sam had believed her when she had told him that she wasn't angry with him, so she found it hard to read him at this moment in time.

Sam kept his cheek close to her temple and laughed softly when he felt her jump at the sensation of his hand resting at the small of her back. He used her surprised to his advantage and pulled her against his chest then whispered into her ear, "Dean found the bag of junk food you bought and there's an Indiana Jones marathon on, so we have a few hours to kill… You mentioned owing me something?"

Toni gasped as Sam gently pinched one of her butt cheeks. She wrapped her arms tightly around Sam's waist and then answered with her cheek pressed against his chest, "I did say that, didn't I? Does that mean that you want to cash in on that promise already?"

To respond to her question, Sam rolled his hips forward so that she could feel the hardening swell against her thighs. "Oh… My…" She breathed out as her hold around his waist tightened. "I… My… My knees don't seem to be working…" She tilted her head up to look at him innocently as she asked, "Carry me?"

Sam immediately obliged by moving his hands to the backs of her thighs and lifted Toni off the ground. As soon as she felt her feet leave the floor, Toni's lips found Sam's and they started to nearly feed at each other's mouths. Her legs instinctively wrapped around Sam's waist as soon as he started to walk towards the bed to ensure that Sam wouldn't inadvertently drop her before he meant to put her down. They continued their heated embrace until Sam had completed the short journey to the bed where he was able to unlatch her from his body to toss her onto the bed much like he had wanted to do back at her home in Wisconsin.

Toni laughed giddily as she settled back against the mound of pillows Sam had created when he awoke that day and she just watched him with bright eyes. Sam for his part smiled predatorily while he watched Toni get comfortable on the bed and worked his way out of his jeans. He had stripped himself down to his boxers and undershirt by the time he reached the edge of the bed, so Toni quickly removed her shirt and threw it to one side to reciprocate.

Once Toni had bared her chest, Sam stood to admire the sight before him. Having his eyes so single-mindedly focused on drinking in her nakedness caused Toni to hyperventilate with anticipation. Through his boxers Toni could see that Sam was equally turned on as she was, so she tried to hurry everything along by removing her pants, but her hands were trembling so hard that she couldn't quite accomplish that.

"Fuck," she grumbled angrily because she had never been uncoordinated to the extent that she couldn't undress herself in the past.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle at the effect he had on Toni. Before she could admonish him, Sam took a firm hold of the ankles of Toni's pants and gave them a firm yank. Anything that was going to come out of Toni's mouth turned into a surprised gasp as her body followed her clothing down the length of the mattress. Sam didn't give her a chance to regroup before climbing onto the bed to kneel over her on all fours. Toni reached up to pull his face down to hers as soon as he was enough to reach him.

Toni slipped her hands under the elastic of Sam's underwear as she moaned against his lips, "Sam… Off… Off…"

At first Toni didn't think that Sam had heard her because he just continued to bite at her lips and lick into her mouth. She was just about to shove at his shoulders to more insistently demand that he get naked when he abruptly sat back on his knees. While he worked his way out of his boxers he gave Toni a questioning look because instead of shimmying out of her underwear, Toni stood up off the bed.

"Toni…?" He asked somewhat worriedly thinking that she hadn't meant for him to take the rest of his clothes off but that she wanted him to get off her body completely.

She shook her head softly then stepped forward and pecked his lips. He still didn't look convinced, so she patted the bed explaining, "My turn to be on top."

Sam let out a nervous chuckle at his misunderstanding and made quick work of following her wishes. Toni watched as Sam settled against the headboard while licking her lips hungrily. Sam rested his arms out to his sides on the tops of the pillows to give Toni an unobstructed view of his body. He wasn't doing that because he was conceited, in fact it actually made him feel kind of self-conscious to be laid out like that, but he knew how much Toni enjoyed it, so he did it to please her.

Toni didn't take her eyes off the display on the bed as she finished removing the last of her clothing before she made her way back to the bed. Sam could see her trembling slightly in what he hoped was eagerness so he held his hand out to her to help her onto the bed. Toni took it, but once she was safely on the mattress, she remained on her knees beside him and kissed him gently.

"I missed you," she whispered as she rubbed her temple against his.

Sam didn't move anything but his lips to quietly answer, "I haven't been gone that long…"

While he spoke, Toni gripped his shoulders tightly so that she could seat herself in his lap. A soft hiss escaped her lips as she moved down his length so slowly that it was almost painful. Sam forced himself to keep his hands where they were by squeezing the pillows under his palms so tightly that he almost could have ripped a piece out of them.

Once she had engulfed his full girth into her, Toni and Sam sighed but otherwise remained perfectly still. Sam even kept his eyes closed so he jumped slightly when he felt her lips brush against his ear, causing her voice to sound even more breathless as she said, "Feels like a long time from where I'm sitting."

Sam's eyes snapped open then, but anything he was going to say as an apology was silenced by Toni pushing on his shoulders to lift herself off his lap before dropping back down quickly. It took Sam a little bit before his thrusts became complimentary to Toni's bouncing in his lap. Despite the initial awkwardness, Sam could tell the exact moment when their movements fell into perfect synch because Toni held her breath for a few beats while her nails threatened to break through the skin of Sam's shoulders. Sam was so lost in the feeling of moving up and down, him moving in and out of her that he barely noticed the damage that Toni was (hopefully inadvertently) inflicting on his body.

When the pain Sam was feeling finally rivaled his pleasure, he sighed out a strained, "Toe… Knee… You're… Nails…"

She tried to bob in his lap with a renewed vigor to distract him from the pain, but her thighs muscles were stating to tire so she instead loosened her grip on his shoulders and moved her lips to his ear to quietly say, "Sam… Please…" Her hips stuttered while she tried to maintain her previous, overly vigorous pace as she started to beg, "Please Sam…? Fuck me hard…? Harder… Please…?"

Sam immediately obliged by grabbing a hold of her hip bones and started to thrust up into Toni so hard that he knew that he would have hurt most any other woman on the planet. He nearly slowed his assault on Toni's body, but then Sam heard Toni moan in the back of her throat. She may have been known at one time as a girl that 'put out' easily, but Sam knew that Toni wasn't one to slip over into pure ecstasy 'mode' at the drop of the hat and took a lot of effort from her partner. He opened his eyes briefly so that he could get a quick glimpse at her current state and then stabbed his hips up violently at how aroused she looked right then.

"Sam… Fuck Sam… So good… So good…" She praised while she barely managed to meet Sam's new pace. "Don't stop… Oh Gawd… Don't stop…"

Sam rocked his hips up and down a few more time until he felt Toni's release slide down his skin. She slumped down onto his torso with the acute awareness that Sam had yet to reach his climax. Sam remained still after feeling Toni's release, but she refused to let him off that easily. Once she felt Sam relax back after coaxing her to completion, Toni started moving against his painfully hard erection with a renewed sense of purpose.

Toni ignored the surprised gasp that escaped Sam's lips while she pressed her palms against his shoulders. Since he had complied with her wishes when she wanted Sam to be rougher with her body, Toni slowed her hips and added a generous circular motion to help lure Sam's climax to the surface. Sam sighed loudly and let his hands fall to her hips to help him move with her new rhythm. Toni knew that this was the best way for Sam to reach his completion and didn't expect to find her own again, so she opened her eyes to watch him because she wanted so badly to see that blissed out look on his face.

It was almost as if Sam could feel her watching him because his eyes fluttered open. They gave each other a lazy smile and when Toni opened her mouth to tease him, it turned into a breathy gasp. Toni's hips didn't stop moving while she tried to regain her ability to breathe. Sam continued to watch her with an amused grin on his lips, so Toni leaned in to place her forehead on his shoulder so that she wouldn't have to see his reaction to her current predicament.

"Sam…" She moaned almost completely breathless. She nipped his collarbone so hard that it made Sam's movements stutter before she more gently bit his earlobe. "Come on Sam… Come on… You're way overdue."

Sam huffed out a laugh then replied, "One… More…"

Toni was just about to ask what he meant when she felt him grip her hips tightly. Even though she was starting to feel exhausted, Toni tried to keep the lower half of her body moving, but that wasn't enough stimulation for Sam. He then tightened his grip on either side of her waist to move her at a pace of his choosing. When Toni realized what he was doing, she went completely boneless in his lap to let him use her body any way he wanted to, but she did continue to kiss and nip at his neck and shoulders. Sam hadn't expected her to become so utter compliant under his hands and his surprised helped him to fall over the edge into complete bliss more easily.

Around the same time Sam finally reached his climax, Toni stumbled into her own once again. Sam groaned through his completion while Toni's lips froze in an opened mouth embrace on his neck. Toni recovered first and she quickly grabbed Sam's cheeks to kiss him as enthusiastically as she could through her usual post-sex, exhausted pleasure.

Toni continued to place lazy, sloppy kisses all over Sam's face and neck causing him to laugh softly before saying, "We should get cleaned up."

"Uh huh," Toni agreed between kisses. She let her forehead fall to his shoulder again while replying through a large yawn, "We really should so I can have a nap… But I don't think that my legs are working properly… You're a bit of a slave driver."

Sam hugged her against his chest with another soft chuckle. Toni was still as loose as a rag doll in his arms so it was easy for Sam to pick her up and stand up off the bed. Toni nestled in close under Sam's chin, but then she grumbled unhappily when he placed her on the bed. She had been completely serious when she had said that she wanted to clean up before napping, so she forced herself to wake up enough to push up off the bed to admonish him until she felt a strong hand on her back between her shoulder blades.

"Shh… Just relax Toni…. I'm just going to run a bath," Sam explained in a soft, comforting voice.

Toni didn't move but when Sam thought he heard her say something, he leaned in closer to her and said, "Sorry, I didn't catch that."

She moved her face off the pillow so that she could be heard without any obstructions, "You're the best. Thanks."

"I owed you for my brother being a dumbass," Sam whispered against her ear before pecking her cheek.

Toni snorted out a laugh but just relaxed further into the bedding. After he finished his response, Sam continued to watch her closely and back up towards the bathroom to make sure that Toni really was going to stay and wait for him there. When he noticed that she had almost fallen soundly asleep, Sam turned his back on her and rushed into the bathroom to check on the still filling tub. Once he was satisfied that the temperature and depth were right, Sam finally pushed up off the edge of the tub to stand.

Despite her best efforts not to, Toni had actually started to drift off to dreamland by the time she felt Sam scoop her up into his arms. When she was a little girl she had fallen asleep on the couch or in front of their fireplace numerous times, but no one had ever carried her to bed and made her feel safe and warm like she had hoped they would. Most nights her dad just shook her until she was awake enough to stumble off to her room before her mother could try to carry her. The one night that Alex tried to carry her to bed he was so drunk hat he nearly dropped her before he smashed her head into a door frame. Their parents never found out about it because Will was able to keep her quiet while he patched her up, but the two younger siblings never shied away from point out where Toni had a small scar in her hairline to guilt trip Alex when nothing else worked to get what they wanted before she moved to California.

As soon as Toni felt herself be lifted off the bed, Sam felt her tense up so he draped her arm around his neck while teasingly whispering "Just carrying my crippled girlfriend to the bath…" She felt him let out a laugh when he remembered the story she had told him about her brother and couldn't help but add, "I promise not to maim you by running into any door frames on the way."

Toni squeezed her arms around Sam's neck then announced in a hushed voice against his neck, "Dean's wrong."

By that time Sam was just about ready to set her down in the warm bath water, so he hesitated to ask, "Dean was wrong about what?"

"Dude," she replied as she affectionately hugged her arms around his neck. Sam stood beside the porcelain of the tub with Toni still being comfortably held in his arms as she said, "Dean was wrong… You're too good for me, not the other way around."

With a heartfelt chuckle Sam set Toni's pliant frame into the tub just before he stepped in and shifted her so that he could settle in behind her. Toni still felt completely uncoordinated, so she just let herself flop back against Sam's chest with his legs fitting themselves around her thighs.

Sam picked up a facecloth that he had already covered in one of Toni's favorite body washes that he had found in her bag. He then rubbed it over her upper body saying, "We should remind Dean that he's wrong as often as humanly possible."

"Yeah… We should…" Toni eagerly agreed with a sigh.

Sam continued to wash Toni's torso and she just laid back to blanket his chest without any resistance. As soon as Sam touched her thighs with the soapy cloth, Toni started to giggle so quietly that Sam knew that she hadn't meant for him to hear her. The two of them had been together for long enough to know where each other's 'hot spots' were so he knew that she wasn't ticklish anywhere but the usual spots of her ribs and the bottom of her feet which caused him to freeze in his place.

Toni continued to chuckle quietly to herself and didn't seem like she was going to offer him an explanation so Sam leaned in as close as he could to her ear to ask, "What's so funny?"

This time when Toni laughed softly Sam could finally hear the nervous edge to it. "Sorry… This is awesome Sam, it really is, but I couldn't help thinking that I can't remember the last time someone bathed me. I'm pretty sure that that means it was when I was a baby and too small to do it myself." Sam gently started running his fingers up and down Toni's sides during her narration which made it harder for her to turn around and face him so that she could kiss his lips to reassure him. "But mostly right now I'm kicking myself for not thinking of this before."

They continued to kiss slow and gentle as Sam sat up straighter to help Toni sit down more comfortably in his lap. "Really? In all these years and with all of your experimenting, you've never done it in a bathtub?" Sam asked not even trying to hide the shock in his voice because he knew that she wouldn't be offended by hearing it.

"Nope. This is virgin territory for me," she answered with her lips so close to Sam's that she was practically kissing him with every word spoken.

Before she could reach down to check if he was prepped for another round, Sam lifted Toni up just enough to reposition himself so that he could pull her down to impale Toni on his length. Toni's head flew back as she let out a surprised gasp and the look on her face was more than Sam could have hoped for when he came up with this plan. Sam smiled satisfactorily at her reaction for a millisecond as he leaned forward to latch onto her now exposed neck to claim it as his own.

"Well we should take care of that," Sam whispered as he moved in and out of her with short, shallow bursts.

Toni once again let Sam use her body to help set the pace he wanted to establish. They were both so sensitive from their previous lovemaking that Sam was able to work them both through their orgasms before the bath water had a chance to cool.

"How…? Have I…? Never done that…? Before? Fuck that was amazing," Toni praised as she wiggled in to cuddle against Sam's chest. "It's way more comfortable than the scorching heat of a hot tub."

"Good to hear," Sam replied as he gathered her up in his arms and tried to stand.

Toni awkwardly elbowed him as hard as she could into one of his sides. "Slippery surface Sam, don't be stupid. You can carry me back to bed after we've both dried off."

Sam wanted to protest, but he really couldn't argue with her logic so he just let her go without a word. He watched her as she dried herself off from his spot in the tub and couldn't help but smile at how lucky he felt right then. Everything in his life seemed to be on the right track; his relationship with his brother felt like it was getting back to their version of normal and despite the recent roadblock that randomly popped up, there didn't seem to be any lingering awkwardness between him and Toni.

While she was still wrapped up in her towel, Sam scooped Toni up into his arms. As he carried her into the other room, he easily swallowed her surprised shriek and then her giddy laughter with a kiss. At the bed he was able to roll her out of her towel so that he could use it to dry himself off as quickly as possible before joining her.

Once he was laying on his side next to her, Toni ran her hand over the side of his face and then placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I don't know about you Casanova, but I'm not really feeling all that tired anymore," she whispered while rubbing their noses together.

"I could eat," Sam agreed as they both slowly rolled away from each other.

Sam quickly dressed in the clothes he had abandoned beside the bed while Toni walked over to rifle through her duffle bag for a suitable outfit to change into for the rest of the day. She was still getting dressed by the time Sam had his phone out and she stopped mid-motion when she overheard him laughing quietly.

Sam turned to face her tucking his phone away explaining, "Bobby got a hold of Dean while we were… Distracted… He's found something out in New Jersey that he thinks is worth a deeper look and he wants our help with it… Now I know that you said…"

Toni ran over to him then interrupted Sam with a kiss. "I'd love to work another job with you guys at my side. Why don't you check with Dean to see if he's hungry so that he can tell us about it over dinner while I got and finished getting dressed?"

Sam nodded, pulled his phone out and dialed Dean's number right away. As soon as he got his phone to his ear, Dean must have made a snide or cutting comment that the elder Winchester thought was funny because Sam quickly replied, "Yes we can both still walk… Yeah… Whatever Dean…Ha… Ha… Very funny. So do you want to grab some dinner so you can tell us about Bobby's job or do you want to continue your stand-up routine?"

A knock at the door caused both Toni and Sam to jump. She finished tying her hair back then quipped, "Guess he's hungry. So where's good to eat?"


	36. And Hidden Meanings

"No sir, it ended up being a routine haunting that took a lot longer than Bobby thought it would. But in the end it really was no big deal," Toni quietly reported into her phone as she paced down the length of her truck.

Her father laughed then said, _"Well as long as you all took care of it, I guess that's all that matters, time line be damned, right?"_

"Right," Toni agreed with a grateful smile spreading across her face.

" _So since you're all done with that hunt, are you heading out to another job? Or are you maybe heading back this way? Or…?"_

The hopeful tone she heard in her father's voice made Toni blush and feel mildly guilty as she answered, "Actually we're still here at another job that the guys found. I… Uhh… I don't really know all of the specifics so I really don't know when I'll be able to head back to Madison yet… Sorry Dad."

" _Oh Toni! Please don't apologize Angel. I didn't mean it like that… But… Well… If you're still in New Jersey, does that mean that you're looking into what's happening out in Wharton State Forest?"_

"Yeah… Actually that's exactly it. I don't really know if they've come up with any theories yet for this one, but I figure that if the four of us can't solve this problem then no one can, right?" Toni asked sounding more at ease.

" _Very true. So how is it working with the three of them?"_

Toni stopped in her spot as she watched the lights in the abandoned house they were staying in for the night flickered then went out. She hadn't slept in an actual bed since the two nights that she had spent with Sam after leaving Delaware and her body was starting to rebel against her, but she didn't want her dad to worry about that. Bobby was still adamant that it wasn't safe for them to pay to stay at a motel because that was how the Leviathan had found the Winchesters when they were Indiana. Toni had countered that she was happy to charge everything on her credit card, but Bobby quickly shot that idea down saying that they would eventually just run into the same problem. She couldn't argue that the Leviathan hadn't seen her with the brothers, so there definitely was the potential for the monsters to use her to get to them. But deep down Toni couldn't help but wonder if this verdict had more to do with it being a 'macho hunter' deal where they couldn't allow a woman to foot the bill and not just a concern about their safety.

"It's… Umm… Interesting," she finally answered non-committedly.

" _Interesting? What do you mean by that Angel?"_ Her dad asked, trying not to let his concern show too much.

Toni laughed at her dad's cautious tone before answering, "Well as much as I love everything that I've been able to learn from Bobby and the guys… And man do they know a lot of random stuff… The books definitely didn't exaggerate that at all… But… I don't know… I guess I just kind of got so used to being on my own that having to check in with other people constantly and sharing my space with other people and being on someone else's schedule… Umm…"

" _Oh Toni…"_ Her dad replied despondently.

"No dad, I didn't mean it like that! It's just… When I've been on the road I usually get to do everything on my own time. Now I'm having to sit back and follow their lead… I don't know, but…"

The Colonel's hearty laugh on the other end of the line caused his daughter to fall into an embarrassed silence. _"Oh Antonia, it's okay, I think I get the idea now. You definitely are a chip off the old block."_

Toni scowled then realized her dad couldn't see her so she questioned, "What do you mean by that? Because you and mom had to live in barracks and follow orders when you were in the Service… So that means that you both were good at taking orders… Doesn't it?"

" _Yes, that's true. But don't forget that your mother worked her way up to being the head of an intelligence team as quickly as she could and as for me… Well how many people do you think give orders to a Colonel?"_

"Ha! Yeah I… Yeah that makes sense," Toni agreed, sounding more confident. "So I guess what you're saying is that I can blame my control freak tendencies on you guys then, eh?"

" _I guess you could say that Angel,"_ he replied with a soft chuckle. _"But if you're feeling that uncomfortable, do you think you'll be able to make it through this new job alright?"_

Toni let out a heavy sigh because after spending the last two nights curled up in the backseat of her truck to sleep, she'd been asking herself that exact same question. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable Sir… It's more like I'm feeling like I'm totally out of my comfort zone. Shoot does that even make sense? Anyway… I really want to finish this one because there's still so much that I can learn from them about this way of life… Especially when it comes to researching and everything… And I know that I shouldn't just let a learning experience like this pass me by just because it isn't easy, right?"

" _That does make sense Angel… And I'm very proud of you for working through all of this, even though it's hard on you,"_ her dad praised. _"Which means that I should probably stop talking your ear off…"_

"Yeah… And I should get inside. But I'm glad you called. I miss you so much Dd. I'll try to get home after this job for a visit."

" _I miss you too Toni, but if another job comes up then it takes precedence and you have to take care of it,"_ he replied with a stern tone. _"I can wait while you help save lives, no matter how much I want to be selfish and spend some time with you."_

"Okay… I'll keep that in mind. I love you Colonel. Say hi to Yvette for me."

" _I will and I love you too Toni, stay safe."_

Once she had her phone tucked away in her jacket pocket, Toni rested her back against the front driver's side quarter panel of her truck with her arms crossed over her chest. It was so cold outside that she could see her breath every time that she exhaled and yet she couldn't bring herself to move and head inside to try to warm up. In all honesty, she wasn't completely convinced that the dilapidated two story house would be any warmer than it was outside. But then again if Toni was to be absolutely honest with herself, that wasn't even close to being the real reason why she was delaying the inevitable of facing the three men again.

It hadn't occurred to her until she was riding in the passenger seat of her truck earlier that day that she might have figured out why she thought that she had felt such a shift in their group's dynamic. At first she thought that the Leviathans were to blame because they were such a frustrating foe, but that didn't feel completely true. Then she had a couple of hours to stare out her window and just think. Unfortunately thinking led to over-analyzing every minute detail in her life which then led to her latest theory. The last time the four of them had spent any significant amount of time together, she had either been recovering from two gunshot wounds or she had been tending to Sam while he was in a coma. Bobby hadn't really worked with Toni when she was fully focused on the job, so he didn't seem to know how to use her as part of their team. Because of that she was starting to feel like she wasn't fitting in with the group as well as she thought that she would when she had told Sam that she was excited to team up with the three of them again.

Not that Toni blamed all of her feeling of discomfort solely on the guys because she was more than prepared to shoulder some of the blame. Sam had really hit the nail on the head when he had called her 'absolutely independent' back at Bobby's house because for years she had been the only person that she could depend on with unquestionable certainty. She had had to learn all about ghosts and werewolves the hard way; smack in the middle of a job and had had to find a way to kill them before she got hurt or killed with minimal help from anyone else. When she was working a job on her own she was the one that made all of the decisions and had to deal with the consequences, good or bad as they may have turned out. But now that she was working with a team, she felt like she was being ordered around and was being second guessed with every move that she tried to make until she got all of their approval. Her time spent in Mississippi with Sam hadn't felt this constrictive which made her feel even guiltier because that hadn't been "her" Sam that she had been working with so she couldn't allow herself to enjoy it too much because she knew that she shouldn't look back too fondly on those days.

 _Come on Toni! Quit being such a sniveling, whiney girl. Bobby isn't doing it because you're female… He's doing it because you're a fucking green ass newbie._ Toni reprimanded herself as she unloaded her bags from the truck. _Plus he's known the guys way longer than he's known you so he's still learning all of your strengths… And weaknesses… So just give it some time and he'll start to trust you more… And fucking sulking won't help that, so let's go in there and act like an adult instead of a fucking emo-teenager._

When Toni finally made it inside, she was only slightly surprised to find Dean laying down on a couch while Sam and Bobby were sitting at a table going over some of the information for their case. The men were in the middle of their conversation, so Toni just placed her bags beside the couch and then moved over to the cooler close to Dean's head and remained completely silent (mostly because she wasn't completely paying attention to their conversation). Dean offered her an appreciative grin that morphed into a soft leer when she loaded two six packs of beer and a bottle of rum into the cooler. Toni responded by rolling her eyes, although she couldn't help but smile at his expression. Of course by acknowledging Dean's childishness at all meant that Toni had to work that much harder not to give into her desire to laugh.

Toni still felt like she was chilled to the bone, so she rushed over to a spot behind Bobby to stand in front of the fire that was going in the old stone fireplace. She sputtered out a nervous chuckle when she heard Dean reply to something that Bobby had said because she didn't think that he had been paying attention to the other men while she had been putting the alcohol into the cooler because she knew that she certainly hadn't heard enough to become a participant in the conversation just yet.

Even funnier to her was the fact that Dean looked like he was half asleep instead of being more alert than her when he said, "Okay Davey Crockett… Well safari's gonna have to wait till tomorrow and after our suit and tie dance. We'll make sure this is not just some backwoods crackhead who likes to roll glampers."

Toni turned around to face the men, but Bobby beat her to the punch by asking, "What's a glamper?"

"Sam?" Dean somewhat ordered as he relaxed even further on the couch and closed his eyes.

"High-end camper. T.V., A.C., Wi-Fi," Sam explained with a mildly sarcastic bite. "Back to nature, zero inconvenience."

"That's idiotic," Bobby replied while still sounding like didn't completely understand the concept.

"Yeah," Sam scoffed softly. "Some people just don't know how to live."

At that Toni finally did laugh quietly to herself as she once again tried to warm up by facing the dwindling fire in the house's hearth. Sam and Bobby turned to give her a quizzical look, but Toni missed them because she was tending to the fire and had her back facing the men in the room.

"Uh Toni?" Sam called out in a hushed yell. "Mind sharing with the class?"

She nearly burned her fingers as she added a piece of wood to the fire before she turned back around to face the room again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, but…" She threw her hands out and up to gesture around the dark room. "But look where we are… Those 'glampers' had more creature comforts to quote get away from it all end quote while they were in the woods than we do working this damn job. Sorry but that just seems a little ridiculous to me."

Sam shared a sad look with Toni, but she just shook her head to silence any reply that he was going to offer. She started to shiver, so she once again turned her attention back to the fire. Bobby quirked an eyebrow to silently ask Sam if everything was alright with the woman behind him or if they needed to force further discussion on this topic. Sam shook his head and mouthed 'It's fine', but Bobby countered with a stern look to warn him that he better make sure that everything truly was alright because they had a monster to find and didn't have time for any petty squabbles.

"Okay then… Dean was right, we should all get some shut eye," Bobby announced while giving Sam another cautioning glare. He got up and clamped a hand on each of Toni's shoulders before leaning in and quietly saying into her ear, "Fire looks pretty good to me Toni."

"Yeah," she agreed with a slow drawl of the word. "Should last through the night now… Sweet dreams Bobby."

He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze then offered his own, "You too. Good night."

Even though she didn't need to, Toni continued to stoke the fire and let herself get lost in her thoughts while she stared into the flames. When Sam touched her upper back, Toni jumped and even squeaked out a surprised noise. They both let out a nervous laugh while she finally dropped the metal pole that she had been using to play with the fire and turned to face him straight on. She looked up into his face and tried her best to give him an encouraging smile, but Sam could see right through it. Toni was feeling out of place and he knew it had more to do with her own misplaced insecurities as opposed to her actually lacking any abilities so he tried to erase her uncertainty by leaning in to give her a reassuring kiss.

Toni immediately ducked away pleading, "Sam… Don't… Please?"

"Toni," he whispered as he held her face so that he could rest his forehead against hers. "I know you haven't been able to get any quality sleep in an actual bed these past few…"

"It's not just that Sam," she interrupted in a hushed tone. She took a step back and away from him so that she could more easily look over her shoulder in the direction of the couch. When he saw that Dean looked like he was passed out with his beer can hanging in a laxed grip, Toni laughed silently and shook her head and then turned back to face Sam. "Can we maybe go somewhere and talk…? Alone?"

Sam's eyebrows furrowed into a frown because he had already noticed that his brother was completely passed out. To him that was as good as being alone, but he still nodded and whispered, "Sure" and let Toni take his hand to lead him out of the room. He had helped Bobby do the initial sweep of the house when they got there, so he knew that there was only one room that would be comfortable for them to shut themselves off from everyone to talk and that was where Bobby was sleeping right now. (The other, much smaller room, seemed to be where everything except for a few pieces of furniture were stored, so there was no way both of them would fit in there comfortably and the bathroom upstairs… Well he was just glad that its door closed tightly and the bathroom on the main floor was too small to be comfortable to have a long conversation) so he made sure to stop her before Toni could start ascending the stairs.

After Sam had stopped her, Toni looked up at him with pleading eyes and huffed out an exasperated sigh. He shrugged then reached into her rear right pocket to pull out her keys offering, "We would be guaranteed privacy in your truck."

Toni bit her lip so it wouldn't get a chance to tremble and then nodded her head. Sam squeezed her hand as he led her outside without otherwise acknowledging her obvious unease. He unlocked the driver side door, but Toni's hand was pulling the door open before he could attempt to do it for her. He then walked around the nose of the truck slowly while casting sideways glances at the woman sitting behind the wheel. If he didn't still have the keys to the truck in his hands, Sam was almost certain that Toni would most likely be driving away by now.

After Sam slipped onto the passenger's seat they both just sat there in silence, staring at nothing in particular out the windshield. Since it was Toni that had requested that they talk in private, Sam was willing to wait for her to make the first move to restart their conversation. Toni noticed this right away, so she tried to show him her appreciation by reaching over the center console to take a hold of his hand. He then reciprocated by twisting in his seat and pulling her face forward to finally give her a gentle kiss on the lips.

She only let him embrace her for about a second before she pulled back and away with a breathy, "Sam…"

Although Sam didn't try to pull her close again, he did keep his fingers in her hair as he replied, "We have total privacy Toni." She gave him a look and then moved her eyes from the windshield to the window behind Sam. He combed his fingers through her hair and rolled his eyes as he corrected himself, "Fine… Maybe not TOTAL privacy but still better than it was inside. And there's no one around here and it IS pretty dark…"

"Yeah," Toni agreed with a sad sigh.

Sam did one final slide of his fingers through Toni's hair from root to near the ends and then he picked up her free hand so that both of their hands were resting in her lap. "Toni? What's going on with you?"

"I'm sorry Sam, I promise you I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just…" She closed her eyes and brought his knuckles up to her lips to brush a soft kiss across them. "I think I've started realizing that I sort of suffer from only child syndrome or something." She opened her eyes to check Sam's reaction and she unfortunately saw exactly what she thought she would see, confusion. She took in a deep breath in preparation of her impending explanation before saying, "Okay so one thing you have to understand is that I've basically been on my own since I was twelve. By then Will and Alex were both finished school and had already signed up for active duty. Sure they visited here or there but it was never for more than a week or so. Then I finished high school and headed out to California straightaway and… Well… You know how things were there for me. I swear the only thing that saved my friendship with Vanessa was the fact that our class schedules were almost completely opposite to one another, so we weren't forced to spend too much time together… And then Mom and Alex and Will… Well you know… Then I left school… And then … Well I've been on the road and… Yeah…"

"So spending two weeks with three guys underfoot isn't exactly your idea of a good time?" Sam asked quietly.

Toni shook her head then replied, "More like I'm not used to it or not sleeping in a bed or not getting any time alone with you, so I think all that has compounded on top of each other to make me cranky, like super cranky. At least when we stayed at a hotel or Bobby's place we had a room to ourselves with a door that locked… Or hell even one that closed us away from prying eyes period. Now you turn around and there's someone right there all the fucking time… Okay well except for in the bathroom that is…"

"I know but we can't…"

"We can't risk staying somewhere with cameras or that asks for a credit card, I know." She interrupted calmly. "But that's… Well that's what's going on with me. I guess I'm like feeling claustrophobic or something… I don't know how to describe it exactly."

She finished by kissing his knuckles again while maintaining direct eye contact. Sam watched as Toni's embraces started to linger against his skin and then her tongue slipped out to lightly lick between his knuckles, Sam nearly gasped as realization hit him. "The other night… You… you didn't stay in your truck just because it might be warmer…"

Toni shook her head as she dropped his hands so that she could crawl into his lap. Sam helped shift her knees around his thighs while she took her turn running her fingers through his hair. When she reached the back of his head, Toni balled her hands into tight fists around her handfuls of hair so that she could push his head up to meet her halfway for a deep, messy kiss.

Toni maintained the intensity of her embraces until she felt Sam shifting his hips as he tried to find a more comfortable position. His midsection couldn't seem to stop its soft circular motion as she started to slow her embraces to worship at his lips. When his pace matched hers perfectly, Toni slowly pulled back from his lips and double checked that his mouth was hanging open to pant in a few short breaths before she moved her lips to his ear.

"When you offered to let me sleep cuddled up next to you…" she whispered in a breathy, sensuous voice. "If I had of crawled into that sleeping bag with you… Dean and Bobby would have gotten a show because there's no way that I could have kept my hands off of you… Hell I couldn't keep my hands off myself just thinking of you and what I wanted to do with you that night…"

Sam let out a deep moan when Toni started to kiss his neck while simultaneously using his left hand to push at the waist of her jeans that she had already unbuttoned. He took her not so subtle hint immediately and moved his right hand to work alongside his left hand. Toni reclaimed his lips as a reward. She then planted her hands on either side of his head so that she could hold herself up to allow Sam to push her jeans and panties down her legs more easily.

Once Sam got her pants to her knees he knew he wouldn't be able to move them any further down her legs, so he switched his tactics. Toni threw her head back as she let out a surprised gasp when she felt Sam start to very slowly trail his fingers up the inside of her thighs. His lips instantly latched onto her throat while she tried her best to force oxygen into her lungs. Sam continued to embrace the small amount of flesh that was exposed on her neck while Toni awkwardly tried to work her pants' legs the rest of the way off of her body.

When Sam started to tease her entrance, Toni let out such a strained whimper that Sam actually backed off from her body and whispered, "Just need to get one off Toni."

She was so breathless that there was no way that she could speak so she just nodded vigorously to let him know that she understood what he meant. She pushed herself back off his lap until her back hit the dash board with a solid thump. Sam was quick to help her work her leg out of the clinging fabric and then he forcefully pulled her back into his lap and against his chest. Toni remained flopped against him like a rag doll while he worked himself out through his fly and didn't come back to full consciousness until she felt him slowly working his way into her.

Toni moaned then let out a satisfied hiss while he stretched her unhurriedly then they both remained still the moment her exposed backside was flush with his denim covered lap. Sam ran his hands up and down her back to keep her hugged gently against his chest. She was still humming softly as she nuzzled into his neck, seemingly content to just remain connected like this while staying practically motionless.

"I'm sorry," Sam suddenly apologized quietly.

Toni sat up straight quickly which caused them both to squeeze their eyes shut tightly at the sensations that rippled through their bodies. Sam recovered first and reached a hand out to take the weight of her head in the palm of his hand quietly saying, "I should have…"

"No," Toni interrupted as she silenced him with a sharp snap of her hips. Sam's hand convulsed around her hair, so Toni continued her relatively gentle circular pattern in his lap as she said, "Don't… Don't apologize… Shh Sam… Shh it's… Gah… It's…"

"So good," Sam finished for her as he thrust his hips upwards.

Toni nearly unseated herself because she hadn't expected him to use so much force. Sam took a firm grip on her hips and Toni pressed her right hand against the ceiling of her truck to steady herself as she gave Sam a firm nod. Toni completely ignored the guttural moan that Sam issued at being given permission to take control even though Toni was technically on top. Sam's grip on her hips was tight enough that she knew there was no way that she would accidentally be dislodged, so she let her arms fall loosely around his neck as she tried to relax completely in his hold.

After leaning in to kiss Sam, Toni sat back to look him in the eye. She had meant it when she told him that he didn't have to apologize and she hoped that he could see the sincerity in her eyes. She still felt somewhat confused about her place in the group, but when Sam brought forth such intense waves of pleasure that pulsed through her body, Toni became crystal clear on a few subjects. Primarily she knew that she was willing to work through anything; sleeping on floors, waiting behind for the guys to get back from doing recon work, ANYTHING, if it meant that they could share moments like this once in a while.

She was still nearly screaming in ecstasy when Sam finally coaxed out his own orgasm with a loud grunt. Even before they had both come down from their highs, Toni was once again flopped across Sam's chest loosely. She tried to place a few lazy kisses against Sam's neck, but it turned out to be too far away to accomplish that feat, so she just left her head on his shoulder and tried to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry."

It came out as a breathy statement and for a second Sam wasn't even sure that he had heard it. When Sam finally opened his eyes, he saw Toni redressing him and then herself with a sad frown on her face. He helped to steady her so that she wouldn't fall to the floor while she awkwardly pulled her jeans back on.

She gave him a grateful smile and once she was fully dressed again she leaned in to kiss him softly. "I'm sorry Sam. I've been so selfish that I haven't been able to see the big picture." Sam cocked his head to one side as his mouth turned down in a questioning frown. Toni laughed self-consciously then added, "What? When I'm wrong I can admit that I'm wrong." Sam quirked an eyebrow while smirking smugly but he remained silent. "Sam! Don't give me that look! I've apologized to people… To YOU in fact before now, so stop it!"

"Yeah, but usually you don't… You aren't this… Umm… Calm," he hesitantly explained.

Toni tucked her head against Sam's neck and shoulder then quietly said, "Who says that you can't still mature a bit even when you become an adult?" She sat back to look Sam in the eye to playfully add, "Plus you definitely know how to please a woman. Nothing calms anyone down better than sharing a moment of pure bliss with someone."

Sam gave Toni a warm smile answering, "I guess that means that the next time we'll have to scratch your itch sooner."

After issuing a heavy, satisfied sigh, Toni once again rested her cheek against his shoulder and hugged his torso. "That would be nice. But you know what would be even better?"

Sam started petting her head, but he stopped abruptly before almost worriedly asking, "No… What?"

Toni knew that Sam would be confused by her saying that sex wasn't necessarily always the answer to all of her problems, but she knew that it had to be said. If these past few weeks were any indication of how future hunts would transpire then she knew that they wouldn't be able to be alone whenever they wanted to be, so she knew she had to be realistic.

"If you'd call me on my shit sooner," she answered while still cuddled against Sam's chest. Toni could feel Sam stiffen under her hold, so she gently pet his chest as she said, "I mean it Sam. If I start sulking like that again, make sure to pull me aside and smack some sense into me, okay?"

Sam laughed silently then quietly agreed, "Okay."

"Good," Toni said with calm finality. She pushed herself off of his body then looked him in the eye to say, "Now we have a long day ahead of us so we should head in and try to get some sleep."

After a quick kiss, Sam smiled then replied, "Sounds like a plan."

They walked back to the house hand in hand and Toni couldn't help but smile to herself. Even when he had no reason to be, Sam was completely patient and understanding with her. It always took Toni some time to realize when she was being unreasonable but between working with her father's counselor and having Sam be so receptive to her honesty, Toni was finding it easier and easier to come to the hard conclusions before she got so frustrated that she resorted to lashing out at people who didn't really deserve her wrath.

Sam gently tugged Toni's hand when she didn't immediately follow him up the stairs, but Toni held her ground with a firm shake of her head. Toni could tell that Sam was confused when he let go of her hand, so she quickly pecked his lips then flashed him a warm smile before turning away from him. He watched her as she silently moved to where Dean was still sleeping on the couch and carefully extracted the beer from his hand.

Dean didn't stir while Toni stealthily moved around him and Sam couldn't help but chuckle softly. She kept her attention on the eldest Winchester as she tucked his loose arm over his chest and then picked up a blanket that Sam hadn't seen from beside the couch. As Toni carefully draped the blanket over Dean, he shifted slightly in his sleep to make himself more comfortable. When she was done, Toni watched him for a couple of breaths to make sure that she hadn't disturbed him and when she had that confirmation she finally moved back towards Sam.

As she approached her boyfriend, Toni could tell that he was silently laughing at her so she quickly whispered, "What? You know he'd be a nightmare to deal with if we had of let him spill any of that on himself."

Sam's only response was to continue to silently chuckle to himself with a few shakes of his head as he led her up the stairs. Bobby was sound asleep when they got upstairs, so Sam wasn't sure how he was going to ask Toni about their sleeping arrangements for the night. On one hand he wanted nothing more than to hold her tight after clearing the air with her, but on the other hand he understood how that could potentially lead to an uncomfortable situation if they both inadvertently forgot that they weren't alone in the room. Luckily for him, Toni had the same train of thought and was more than happy to make the decision for both of them.

She gently removed her hand from Sam's hold then removed her jacket and sneakers before slipping into her sleeping bag. Sam followed her lead but froze in his place when he didn't find another empty sleeping bag on the floor. Toni was laying on her side with a wide grin on her face while she waited for Sam to catch up with the situation. She knew that there was no way that Sam would have noticed that she had taken it upon herself earlier in the day to zip their sleeping bags together like he had suggested they should have done a couple of nights ago.

Sam still had a confused scowl on his face as he settled in beside Toni, so she couldn't help but peck his lips softly before whispering into his ear, "You had a point Sam, this definitely will be warmer." Before he could reply, Toni rolled over so that her back was facing him. Sam immediately took the hint and molded his chest against her back. Toni quickly caught his hand as he trailed it up her abdomen and she turned her face to playfully warn him in a hushed tone, "This'll only work if you behave yourself Mister Winchester."

Toni wasn't surprised to wake up alone the next morning, so she took a moment to stretch and wake up relatively slowly. After lingering in her bed, Toni tried to make quick work of changing into clean clothes so that she could help with the case. Of course as she rifled through her bag she quickly noticed two things. One was that she hadn't packed for a hunt, so she didn't have any outfits with her to help her play the part of anyone in authority. And two, her supply of clean clothes had severely dwindled over the past couple of weeks, which led her to a strange train of thought for a way that she could be helpful to the group.

As Toni approached the living room, she could hear the men's muffled voices and she hoped that meant that someone had gotten them breakfast. If she couldn't start the day with a hot shower, Toni definitely was going to need coffee to have any semblance of coherence during the day. The boys seemed to be able to get the bare minimum of sleep on the most uncomfortable surfaces known to mankind and be ready for the next challenge at the drop of the hat, but Toni was finding that adjusting to that way of life was taking some time for her.

"Alright so you're gonna head to the morgue while Sam and…" Dean cut himself off mid-sentence while he watched Toni bee-line for the last coffee sitting in the carrier on the kitchen table.

Toni downed a third of the liquid in one gulp but stopped herself from biting into a bagel when she noticed how quiet the room had gotten. After she had slowly lowered the baked good from her mouth, Toni quietly questioned, "Bobby's heading to the morgue while you and Sam…?"

"While we meet up with Ranger Evans," Dean finally answered after shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

"Oh… Yeah that sounds good. So…? Guys… I was thinking… Why don't I hit the Laundromat and question a few of the locals while you guys do that?" Toni offered with what she hoped was an earnest smile on her face. Her proposal only elicited confused scowls from the three men so she sheepishly explained, "Well three on one would sort of be overkill and…" She paused to swallow nervously before trying to lie convincingly. "And I'm not really all that good with dead bodies… Plus if we keep showing up places with a dirty, smelly wardrobe then we really won't be able to convince anyone to tell us anything."

It was a weak lie that none of the men believed, but Toni made sure to throw Sam a pleading look so he was quick to reply, "That would be great. Thanks Toni."

Sam took her free hand and squeezed it encouragingly. Toni's lips spread into an easier grin while the other two men shared a look behind her back. Dean really could have cared less who was doing what so long as they got the show on the road. As far he was concerned everyone had their assignments so he broke up the silence in the room by clearing his throat loudly.

"Alright sounds good to me Toni. My bag's over there by the couch and you know where to find Bobby and Sam's upstairs." Once he made it to the door he motioned for Sam to follow him and his younger brother complied with only the slightest hesitation. Just before he followed his brother out the door, Dean turned back to Toni and said with mock seriousness, "Just make sure you don't use too much fabric softener, okay?"

Toni laughed quietly at Dean's quirked eyebrow as she hoarsely replied, "Of course. I wouldn't ever imagine doing something so horrific."

Dean closed the door with his laughter still echoing in the abandoned house and Toni couldn't help but smile while she finally took a bite out of her bagel. She was more than happy to finish her breakfast in silence before continuing on to her project, but she forgot about one minor detail… Bobby. The older hunter watched her without making a sound as he finished knotting his tie and tried his best to read her body language while she ate.

"I know a dead body ain't never bothered you before kid, so you're more than welcome to join me as my assistant," Bobby offered as he slipped on his shin length, grey overcoat.

Toni washed down the piece of bagel that tried to lodge itself in her throat with a large gulp of coffee as she shook her head emphatically. "You're right Bobby," she replied one she was finally able to speak. "But I still can't because… Umm…" She cast her eyes to her hands while she tried to find the safest way to explain her predicament to the older man. "Well… You see Bobby… When I packed it was for a camping trip with Sam…" She tentatively made eye contact with him again as she vaguely waved a hand in his general direction. "I wasn't exactly planning on being a part of any hunts so I don't have anything remotely close to a suit in my bag." Suddenly Toni started to blush as she absentmindedly added, "Well I do have that dress I bought in Vegas for…"

Toni jumped slightly when Bobby gently grasped her shoulder and kindly interrupted, "The next black tie affair that we need to crash, we'll have you pull that dress out. And I understand what you're trying to say Sweetheart, but why don't you just stay here and do some research? You really don't have to act like our maid or anything."

A hearty laugh bubbled up through Toni's body before she said, "I really don't mind Bobby. I'm running low on clean clothes so I just figured that since I want to do a few loads of my own that it wouldn't take much more effort to throw in a couple for you guys."

Bobby gave Toni a tight smile and a nod of understanding then said, "Alright that sounds good. Why don't you grab the bags upstairs and I'll meet you at your truck?" Toni scowled at the last part of his sentence and Bobby couldn't help but chuckle. "The boys took my van… You wouldn't mind dropping me off at the morgue, do you?"

Toni threw her arms around Bobby's neck as she gratefully exclaimed into his chest, "Or course I don't Bobby!"

Once the third load of darks was loaded into the last available washing machine, Toni sighed to herself and then she laughed nervously. Who would have thought that the four of them would have created enough laundry to take over every washing machine in this small town Laundromat? Toni knew she was in desperate need for clean underwear but she shuddered at the thought of any of the men going commando out of necessity. Well any of them except for…

Before her thoughts could wander too far away from the job at hand, she turned her eyes up to the middle-aged Chinese immigrant that own the establishment that she had effectively taken over. She could only assume that this was a family owned business because the shelf behind the man's desk was filled with pictures of himself with a woman and a small child. Normally Toni would have used her feminine wiles to flirt her way into getting him to spill the information that she needed, but she was pretty sure from the uncertain glances he was throwing her that that tactic wouldn't work this time. Plus there was no way that he hadn't noticed the clothes that were way to big and were overly masculine for her to ware that she had tossed into the washers, so she shelved 'sexy Toni' for a more wholesome, 'new to town, helpless Toni'.

"Hi… Are…? Are you Mister Cho?" She asked as she cautiously took a few steps towards the desk.

He nodded nervously then asked through painfully broken English, "Y-yes… Is…? Is something wrong with the washers?"

Toni tried not to react to the lack of 'R's in his words as she respectfully replied, "No sir, they're absolutely fine. I was just wondering…" She had already slipped the engagement ring Will had bought for his beloved on her finger and made a show of twisting it on her finger as she continued, "Well my fiancé and I are new to the area and I've been hearing some rumors about something that's been hurting people around town here… Umm… Should…? Should we be worried?"

His head never ceased its back and forth rapid movement from side to side as he backed away answering, "No… No… Only people in the woods."

Watching him retreat into the security of the back room made Toni feel a little bit guilty, but at the same time she felt some weird sense of relief. He really did look scared, however it wasn't in the way that she had anticipated. She knew the look in a person's eyes form them being haunted by something old and that was not the look she had seen in his eyes. No, he seemed to be afraid because this was something new, something unknown that had no stories or legends to help that man protect his family from it.

That look seemed consistent with the information that Toni had found online, but it didn't stop her from feeling any less frustrated. Whatever it was that was munching on the locals had only popped up on the radar over the last couple of months. Then to add to her irritation, Toni couldn't find any patterns that fit with any monster that she had read about up until now, so she knew that she couldn't regain the upper-hand and would have to defer to the guys' lead one again.

Their clothes were still uncomfortably hot (but they were thankfully dry) when Toni pulled them out of the dryers and shoved them into their duffle bags in order to make a hasty retreat. She hadn't uncovered anything helpful online and she'd completely stuck out with every local that she'd crossed paths with, so she didn't want to delay the inevitable. She knew she had to tell them that she hadn't turned up anything remotely useful and her only hope was that they had found something so that she could refocus her attention as soon as humanly possible.

When she made it to the restaurant, Toni immediately found the three men she was looking for as they watched a male server that the back of the room throw his apron on a counter yelling, "Up yours Mike… Shove it right up yours!"

She smiled politely to the hostess while pointing at their table and then she slipped onto the seat to Dean's left as he turned his attention back to his sandwich saying, "Well… Anyway… Back to bigger and better things."

Sam and Bobby shared a look then scoffed before digging into their meals once again. Toni snickered but didn't get a chance to comment before a perky blond with an overly bouncy ponytail was standing beside Sam and Dean saying, "I'm so sorry about that ugliness… How are y'all…? Oh no! I'm so sorry Miss! What can I get for you?"

"Oh… Umm… No," Toni tried to politely protest before the new server interrupted, "Oh and since Brandon ignored you, it'll be on the house of course!"

Since she now had four sets of eyes eagerly awaiting her reply, Toni swallowed nervously then replied, "A bowl of beef barley soup would be great, thank you."

"Alright, I can get that for you," the server answered enthusiastically. "And to drink?"

"Water's fine," Toni said quietly under the scrutiny of Sam's gaze. The intensity of the look in his eyes didn't falter even after the server went to place her order at the kitchen so Toni added somewhat defensively, "What? There was an Italian pizzeria next to the Laundromat and I may have inadvertently over-indulged there."

Sam gave her a knowing smile, but it was Bobby who replied humorously towards his salad, "Good to hear because we wouldn't want you to waste away on us."

As they finished their meals the men, well Sam and Bobby, filled Toni in on what they had learned. Dean was too preoccupied with making happy noises around his sandwich, which prompted more than one questioning glance from the other three at the table. When Toni caught herself staring at Dean for too long, she vigorously shook her head then filled them in on what little information she had learned while doing their laundry.

They all agreed that they had done enough preliminary investigations and once the guys were changed out of their suits and had their backpacks stocked with supplies, they made their way into the woods. Toni had never spent much time in the wilderness beyond nature hikes with friends, so she felt more than a little useless despite Sam's protest to the contrary.

Bobby continued to lead the three younger hunters with expert precision that made Toni feel even more self-conscious. Since the two of them were bringing up the rear, Sam would occasionally reach out and squeeze Toni's arm whenever he thought that he wouldn't be seen by the other two. Although Toni appreciated his reassuring gesture, it did very little to help her with her uneven footing.

Toni kept her eyes so intently focused on her feet while the men continued their bantering back and forth that she missed the three of them stopping in their tracks. After running squarely into Bobby's back, he caught Toni's arm to keep her from falling and she finally raised her eyes to look at what had the guys so intrigued.

"Well… Looks like we found Phil," Dean commented nonchalantly.

"Oh… God…" Toni murmured to herself. "Does that mean that it's close by?"

Bobby wrapped his free arm around her shoulder then replied, "Not necessarily. But don't worry Toni…" Bobby continued with a quiet teasing tone. "You've got the three of us to keep you safe. I promise I'm a better shot than either of them."

Toni could tell that Bobby was trying hard to ease her mind with a well-placed joke while the guys called their findings into Ranger Evans, so she rewarded him with a quiet laugh. She then pulled out her handgun from inside he jacket and chambered a round without leaving his embrace as she replied, "No offense Bobby, but having this in hand makes me feel safer."

He squeezed her in a side hug as he chuckled out a "Yeah, I know what you mean."

While they waited for Ranger Evans to arrive Toni found herself pacing a randomly decided perimeter while Bobby and Sam watched her in silence. After about her tenth lap, Sam finally stepped away from the other two men to approach her. As Sam got closer to her, he could have sworn that he heard Toni talking quietly to herself.

"Wendigo… Human turned monster after consuming human flesh… Killed by flame," Toni recited to herself just over a whisper. "Zombie… Human raised from the dead… Appetite for murder but…"

"Toni?" Sam interrupted with a nervous chuckle. She stopped and looked up at him with a sheepish grin on her face as he asked, "Are you listing off different monsters and their characteristics?"

The laughter in his tone was more than audible causing her to shrug and reply sounding very small, "Not all of them… Just the usual suspects. I was hoping that I could narrow the list down a bit after seeing how it killed Ranger Phil…"

Toni glared up at Sam when it looked like he was going to laugh again, so he leaned down to quickly peck her cheek. Whatever apologetic reply he had come up with was silenced by some oncoming headlights. Toni quickly picked up his hand and led him back over to where Bobby and Dean were standing and hope that he understood that she wasn't mad at him.

Ranger Evans stepped out of his truck calling out, "Special Agents… Listen I got your call… But I'm not sure I got what you were saying." Dean raised a finger to the approaching Ranger and shined his light on Ranger Phil's corpse up in a tree. When Ranger Evans saw what Dean was trying to show him he exclaimed, "Hey! I think we found Phil!"

"What's what I said," Dean replied with a proud smile on his face.

Ranger Evans pointed over his shoulder towards his truck nonchalantly stating, "Uh… I should probably call this in."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam agreed non-committedly. "Solid move Rick."

After the Ranger made it back to his truck, Toni leaned in close between Bobby and Sam to ask in a hushed tone, "Is it just me or is Ranger Rick over there acting a little too…?"

"Shh…" Bobby hissed out as he cocked his head to one side.

The Winchesters straightened their stance and then Toni finally heard what she figured had them all on edge. Sam moved to push Toni behind him protectively as he raised his rifle, but she just pulled out her pistol and turned so that her back was flush with Bobby's. Sam and Dean caught on to what she was trying to do and they turned their backs as well so that the four of them form a crude square shaped circle.

"Ranger, I think we've got company," Bobby called out when he noticed that the man at the truck had yet to be alerted to any potential danger.

"Yeah?" The Ranger called back still sounding a little too casual. "Who's that?"

He barely got his question out before something grabbed him and dragged him into the darkened woods.

Sam was the first to step towards the now vacant pickup truck yelling, "Ranger! Ranger Evans! Ranger!"

"Fuck," Toni breathed out as she instinctively turned her back on the truck to try to scrutinize the woods once again. "Fuck," she whispered again when she realized that the missing man wasn't screaming at all and then she turned to run over to where the rest of her group was now standing.

They all looked frantically into the darkness until Bobby raised his rifle saying, "It's got him up in the trees." Toni's eyes followed the light beams from the three flashlights mounted on the men's long arms, but she quickly recognized that it was too dark for them to be of any use. Bobby lowered his firearm just enough to turn his light off as he ordered, "Lights off."

Dean complied but still asked a confused, "What?"

Sam didn't move as he asked, "Wait, Bobby you think that's really a good idea?"

Toni moved to grab Sam's hands as Bobby more forcefully stated, "Shut up, shut off and listen."

When Sam hesitated slightly, Toni pulled the barrel of his gun down while barking out a quick, "Yes Sir."

Sam finally turned his light off but didn't get a chance to gripe at Toni because Bobby quietly informed all of them, "Damn thing's eating Rick."

"Man, I liked Rick," Dean commented with a quiet whine in his voice causing the other three to share a concerned look between them.

Suddenly Bobby closed his eyes and looked like he was trying to track the sound of the monster with his rifle's barrel. Toni had seen her brothers do the same thing a few times to track each other when she was younger and they were playing "Hide and Seek" with her, so she was confident that Bobby would easily get a beat on whatever it was and slipped her gun into her pocket. She had barely raised her hands to cover her ears when he took his shot and she remained frozen in her spot when she saw the thing fall to the ground.

"Wow… Nice shot Bobby," Dean praised.

"Seriously," Sam said echoing his brother's awed tone.

The three men kept their rifles aimed at the human looking monster on the ground as Bobby shrugged and replied, "We all got our gifts."

They all looked down at the corpse and then back up at the trees. While they were surveying the blackened tree line Dean took a step forward and asked, "What about the rest of Ranger Rick?"

"Ranger called in his 10-20," Bobby replied calmly. "His own will find him. We got crap to do."

Toni felt mildly embarrassed as Sam handed her his firearm to move beside his brother who was extracting the Ranger's severed limb from the monster's grasp. She knew that it was silly for her to feel that way because there was no way that the 'proper' authorities would know how to deal with this thing and yet she couldn't shake that feeling away while she watched the Winchesters work.

Bobby took Dean's rifle from him so that the two Winchesters could pick the thing up off the ground. Toni watched them in stunned silence and Sam couldn't help but throw her a couple of questioning looks as they passed her. When Toni caught the last look on his face, she just smiled self-consciously and shook her head to try to ease his mind.

"You couldn't pay me enough to touch that thing… Hope we find a good shower soon or you aren't touching me either," Toni finally joked to try to ease the tension between them. He knew that that wasn't what she was really thinking, but Sam just laughed dutifully and let all of his other questioned be left unasked.

Bobby caught Toni lingering beside the van while the Winchester brothers rushed to its rear to carry the thing Bobby shot in the forest into the house. She was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular so he leaned in close to her to quietly ask, "You doing okay kid?"

Toni blinked rapidly a couple of times and seemed to come out of her daze as she replied, "Yeah… Yeah Bobby I'm good. I… I think I have some supplies that might be helpful in my truck."

"Good. Why don't you grab them and meet us inside?"

She nodded then watched him as he ran in front of Sam and Dean to open the front door. Toni finally made her feet move while she continued to question to herself about what it was that they had found. It still looked human enough so could they have found a Wendigo during the early stages of its transformation? But if that was what they were dealing with then why could one round from a rifle take it down?

"None of this is adding up," Toni quietly said to herself as she walked towards the house with an oversized, black leather medic's bag in hand.

As she opened the door Toni was greeted by the sound of gunfire. Without missing a step, Toni pulled out her pistol and hit the trigger twice. She hope that her two well-placed rounds to the head and heart would be helpful but she still held her breath until the thing flopped back and the men ceased their fire as well.

Sam exhaled a loud breath and craned his neck to look at what they all hoped was now a dead monster. He then leaned down to Toni and said, "Nice shot."

"Thanks, I just hope that Bobby didn't want to dissect its brain or anything," she replied shyly.

Her boyfriend was about to say something reassuring when they heard his brother saying, "Oh that is just gonna… Ruin the leather."

Sam snatched the wallet out of Dean's hand as Bobby asked Dean, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I feel great," Dean replied sounding a little tipsy.

Toni tried to look around Sam's body as he tilted the slimy wallet in his hand and read out lout, "Gerald Browder… Uh… Lived here in town, 5'9", brown hair and blue eyes… 235 pounds."

Dean looked down to his right replying, "Whoa."

"Well apparently he lost a little pudge," Bobby said looking down at the table.

"Maybe it's a-a lap-band side effect," Dean joked with a smirk.

Toni, Bobby and Sam gave Dean an unimpressed look and then Toni commented after swallowing down some bile, "Is it just me or does he look…? And smell like he's a few months into his decomp?"

Sam wrapped a protective arm around Toni's shoulder as they watched Bobby pick up a random stick in the room and then he approached the corpse on the table. He poked the end of the stick into one of the bullet holes and they all heard the usual sounds of someone probing a fresh wound. Toni took in a calming breath at that familiarity but then she felt her lunch try to rise up in her throat when Bobby pulled the stick out and they all noticed a thick grey goo attached to it.

"What the hell?" Bobby questioned before he turned to the other three. "I think we better have a look under Gerald's hood."

"Oh wait!" Toni called out as she slipped out of Sam's hold. "Bobby I have something to help with that!"

When she got back to the room Toni barely noticed that Dean was absent as she explained, "Doc gave me some supplies awhile back as well as some advice for other things I should carry… You know just in case I have to work on someone else…" She passed the case to Bobby then somewhat dejectedly added, "I hope it can help."

Bobby pulled out a scalpel and a pair of forceps from the bag saying, "I'm sure that it will."

The older man continued pulling out the surgical instruments he would need to use as Sam gave Toni a side hug and kissed the top of her head. Toni relaxed significantly in Sam's hold as she turned her face away from the grotesque thing on the table and buried her face into Sam's side. Toni had been around blood and gore, but she had never been around human decay like this in the past and she was finding it slightly overwhelming.

Sam continued to hold her close and was about to offer her some unsolicited advice when they all heard something crash in the kitchen. As they all stood in their places, they heard Dean continue to move around the kitchen rather loudly and Toni couldn't help but jump when she heard a glass shatter to the floor.

Before either man could say anything, Toni pushed off of Sam's chest saying, "Why don't I go check on him while you guys…? Take care of that thing?"

Toni hadn't realized that she had been holding her breath until she got into the kitchen and gasped as she watched Dean fighting with a cupboard door. She moved as fast as she could to stop Dean as he continued to try to wrench the locked door open. Even after she had her hand wrapped around his forearm Dean kept trying to pull the knob backwards.

"Dean? Dean? Hey… Hey… What are you looking for?" She questioned as she continued to pry his hands away from the door.

Dean looked down at her with a frown on his face and then he replied conversationally, "I could use a drink… Couldn't you use a drink?"

"Sure could," Toni answered not sure how to read Dean's demeanor. "Hey why don't you grab a seat there while I run out to my truck for a second?" Dean scowled at her like a petulant child so Toni quickly added, "The back seat is actually a cooler. I've been hiding bottles in there since I inherited it from Alex." Dean smiled expectantly so Toni paused in the doorway to say (almost shocked how motherly she sounded) "But you'll only get it if you promise to stay right where you are, understood?"

Dean nodded frantically with a huge smile on his face as he saluted then replied, "Yes Ma'am. I'll wait right here."

Toni still wasn't sure how to interpret Dean's behavior as she ran out to her truck and flipped the back bench seat up. Alex had been so proud of this particular modification that he had made on his truck because he could hide more booze in this makeshift cooler than anyone could ever need for a party. In his own words he always said that it meant that the party couldn't start without him being there. Toni hadn't thought much of it until she started spending more time with her teetotaler father and had to find somewhere to keep her stash when she was with him.

Dean was still waiting for her dutifully in the spot where she had left him and she almost laughed as she broke the seal on the bottle. Dean had found a few glasses, but Toni had no other indication that he had moved. He eagerly grabbed the bottle out of her hands and poured them each a drink as soon as Toni got within his reach.

Toni took the glass that Dean offered her and then clinked her glass against his. He was still smiling brightly as they both swallowed back their glassfuls and then Dean quickly refilled her glass and then his own. Toni sipped at her second glass as she watched Dean finish off his second glass in two swallows.

She wasn't sure if it was her nerves, the odor coming from the other room or the alcohol, but Toni soon found that she couldn't ignore the substance creeping up the back of her throat. She barely made it to the main floor bathroom before she started to vomit into the toilet. She had had the presence of mind to bring her glassful of whiskey into the bathroom with her so that she could gargle it to get the putrid taste out of her mouth.

When she made it back to the kitchen she found it empty, but she could see Dean moving further into the other room. Toni wasn't sure that she was ready to watch the autopsy Sam and Bobby were performing but then again she wasn't comfortable with being the 'girl' who couldn't handle the gore either.

By the time she rejoined the rest of the group Toni found Dean with one arm perched against the fireplace as he leisurely drank from his glass. She stepped up behind Dean and peaked around his body as Bobby pulled something bulky from the corpse as he said, "I think that's his adrenal glands."

Sam shrugged then asked, "Okay. And…?"

Toni's intrigue overrode any other emotion she had felt as she stepped past Dean saying, "Pretty sure it's meant…"

"Meant to be the size of hotel bar soap… And bright orange," Bobby explained over her commentary.

Toni took no offense to anything but the smell in the room as Bobby dropped the disfigured organ into their catch-all bucket. Sam and Bobby visibly winced as well and then Sam commented through labored breaths, "Oh… Alright that might help explain the strength. Umm, but whatever this thing is, it's not the New Jersey Devil… But it sure as hell ain't Gerald Browder

"What if…?" Toni asked through her gagging before Dean called out, "Okay, guys seriously…? It's time for dinner?"

They all gaped at Dean while he turned back to the kitchen. Toni threw a hand up over her mouth offering, "I'll make sure he doesn't break anything else."

For the most part Dean was content to just sit in the kitchen while Toni ran to the bathroom to expel the last bits out of her stomach. She had never lived through anything like this in the past so she hope that it was just the body in the other room that had thrown her so far off kilter and not something else.

After cleaning up the best that they could, Sam and Bobby came into the kitchen. Toni was splashing some cold water on her face, so Sam came over to her side instead of following his brother and Bobby out of the room. He passed her a towel and was about to ask her if everything was okay but was interrupted by Dean poking his head back into the room asking, "You two joining us or what?"

Toni laced her fingers with Sam's hand as she replied, "Right behind you Dean." She looked up to Sam's chagrinned face then added, "Fuck if I could eat either Sam, but it'll shut him up while we do a few more online searches, right?"

"Right," Sam agreed as they followed Dean's path out of the house.

After they had all placed their orders Toni excused herself from the table to slip into the bathroom. She quickly washed her face with some lukewarm water and then she dried her face slowly with some paper towel. After staring at herself in the mirror for a few seconds, she pulled out a travel-sized toothbrush and toothpaste before taking her time cleaning the taste of vomit out of her mouth.

Toni wasn't the least bit surprised to find Dean stuffing his face when she got back to their table. She was however somewhat taken aback to hear Dean saying, "That's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass. Is that right? Do rats shake their ass or is it something else? Eh."

Sam partially turned in his seat and noticed that practically every person in the restaurant was also eating the sandwich special. While Bobby was doing the same thing as Sam, Toni found that she couldn't take her eyes off of Dean. She had always had a healthy appetite, but she found Dean's appreciation for food absolutely mesmerizing right now.

Sam turned back to his brother and watched him for a few seconds before he lunged forward and snatched the sandwich out of Dean's hands.

"Whoa! Whoa! Why?!" Dean groused around the food still in his mouth.

Bobby looked towards Sam as he commented, "There's some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer, ain't there?"

Toni finally pried her eyes away from Dean too look around the room to finally notice what Sam and Bobby had already seen. "Shit… Are we the only ones not stuffing our faces with one of those sandwiches?"

Sam nodded as he raised his hand to call their server over. She carried Dean's plate and Toni's order of fries into the kitchen while Dean continued to complain that he was still hungry. Toni once again found herself staring at Dean while she tried to go over all of the information about this case again in her head. She still couldn't get everything to add up and she was feeling even more determined to figure everything out now.

Toni remained lost in her thoughts on the drive back to the house as she absentmindedly nibbled at her order of fries. Sam was just about to ask her if she was okay, yet again, when she turned to him and said, "If it's in the food, I might know someone that can help us figure out what it is."

"Really?" Sam questioned as they walked towards the house.

"Yeah… I'm gonna just…" She answered as she slowed her pace. "I'll give him a call and see if he's still working at the lab or not."

"That sounds perfect. Thanks Toni," he said before kissing her head and following the other two inside.

Toni pulled out her phone and slowly scrolled through her contacts. Once she reached the name that she was looking for she hit the call button before she could chicken out.

" _Toni McNamara? As I live and breathe! Long time no see!"_

"Yeah it has been a while," Toni replied with a nervous chuckle. "Sorry about being completely MIA Mikey."

" _Hey it's no problem. You aren't the only one who found their better half to preoccupy their time."_

"You…? Huh? How…?"

After a quick laugh at Toni's expense he answered, _"I ran into Doc while I was visiting my fiancée's family over in the Pacific Northwest. He says this new guy has reeled you in real good."_

"Yeah," Toni answered as she felt her cheeks burn up. "He definitely has. Oh… Uhh… Congrats to you. I… Umm… I thought that you weren't the marrying kind."

" _I wasn't until she threatened to dump my stupid ass. But I'm guessing that catching up isn't the reason for your call this late at night."_

"Oh… No… You're right." Toni groaned then added, "Sorry."

" _Don't apologize Toni. What can I do to help you?"_

Toni forced herself to take a deep breath to calm herself down before replying, "Well… We… Uhh… We think that someone slipped something into my… Umm… boyfriend's brother's sandwich and I was… Umm… hoping that you were still working at the lab so that we could figure out what it might be…"

Mikey laughed again but before Toni could ask what he found so funny he said, _"Wow Doc really wasn't exaggerating! You are using the 'B' word! Holy shit!"_ Toni whined out a plea of his name causing her friend to more somberly reply, _"And lucky for you I'm not just working there anymore, I'm actually a supervisor for this outfit so I get to do a ton of side projects without anyone looking over my shoulder."_

"Really? So…? Does that mean…? Umm… You'll help me? Err… Us?"

" _Of course I will Toni. I still owe you for saving my ass by accompanying me to all of those weddings a few summers ago. I swear that you're the only reason my mom stayed off my back until I met Angela."_

This time it was Toni's turn to laugh as she said, "Well when you put it that way…Okay… So would tomorrow be too soon to cash in my favor?"

" _Tomorrow? Whoa… Yeah… I mean no, that's fine. I didn't realize that you were in New York."_

"Oh… Well we just got into New Jersey…" Toni lied uneasily.

" _So does that mean that I actually get to meet Mister Perfect?"_

Toni chuckled nervously as she replied, "Sorry but no. He's going to stay behind with his brother just in case and all."

" _It's that bad, huh? Well I'm still working at the same place so you know where to find me. Just give me a call when you get here, okay?"_

"Okay. Thanks Mikey."

After hanging up her phone Toni lingered outside a little while longer. Sam had already assured her that he and Bobby had disposed of the body of the thing, but she was still feeling uneasy about going back inside. She'd vomited more today than she had ever done in recent memory, so she wasn't looking forward to a repeat performance any time soon.

When Toni got back inside she found Dean leaning against the counter beside the kitchen sink while Sam was saying, "Okay so whatever turned Gerald Browder into a pumpkin head… And is currently turning Dean into an idiot…"

"I'm right here. Right here," Dean interrupted with a slight slur.

"Is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggerson's," Bobby finished.

"Yeah," Sam agreed.

Although it was painfully obvious Bobby still informed them, "It's in the meat."

Toni gagged slightly when she saw the grey ooze on Dean's leftovers as he said, "If I wasn't so chilled right now, I would puke."

Sam gave his brother a tight smile in response while Bobby continued to scrutinize what was left of Dean's TDK Slammer. Toni pulled out a bottle of water from the cooler then led Dean to one of the kitchen chairs and guided him into the seat.

"Here Dean," she said quietly as she pressed the bottle into his hand. "Drink this down so that we can flush your system out, okay?"

He nodded and started drinking from the bottle without complaint. When Toni was convinced that Dean was going to continue to follow her orders, she nodded towards the living room and Sam quickly turned to lead the way into the other room. Bobby hesitated before following them and scooped up Dean's leftovers when he noticed that the younger man was eyeing them a little too intently.

"So Mikey said that he'd be more than happy to help out," Toni informed them once Bobby was in the room.

"Really?" Sam exclaimed more out of awe than actual dismay.

Toni gave him a small smile as she replied, "Yeah. I'll leave first thing in the morning for New York… Umm… If that's okay with you guys."

Bobby closed up the tinfoil around the remainders of the sandwich and gave Toni a quick side hug after Sam released her from his embrace saying, "Then you'll probably need to take this with you then."

Toni took the plate from Bobby and leaned into his hold replying, "Yeah I guess I will. Thanks Bobby."

On her drive to the building that housed the lab where Mikey worked, Toni once again reprimanded herself for the detour that she had made. She didn't know why she had had the overwhelming compulsion to buy a new outfit that couldn't be mistaken for camping attire because she knew that she really didn't have to try impress the man she was going to meet up with later that day. He was helping her solely because he was her friend and nothing more. Plus they were both in a committed relationship, so dressing to impress was beyond ridiculous. Toni knew that, but it didn't stop her from checking her reflection yet again before exiting her vehicle.

It was much later in the day than Toni had anticipated arriving, so the lab was completely empty when Mikey led her in as she apologized, "Seriously Mikey I didn't expect the traffic to be that bad. I… If I'm…"

"You're not keeping me form anything. My other half is at a conference this week so all I had to do was get my dinner delivered here instead of at home. Are you still able to polish off a whole pizza by yourself?" He interrupted over her apology.

She gently shoved her friend as she playfully retorted, "Mikey! Come on I only did it that once!" He raised an eyebrow at her causing Toni to add, "Okay maybe I've done it more than once, but when I show you this you'll understand why I don't have much of an appetite."

"You…? Not hungry? Well I have got to see this!"

Toni made sure to say a few feet away from Mikey as she opened the tinfoil. He sucked in a breath and then turned towards Toni to ask, "What the fuck is that?"

Toni shrugged then answered, "I was hoping that you could tell me."

Doctor Michael Cooper came out in full force as he started to run his tests and Toni was in such a state of awe that she didn't even have it in her to try to tease him. He got so lost in his work that he ignored the pizza when it finally arrived. For the most part Toni continued to watch him in silence, but her phone vibrating did manage to take her out of her trance.

"It's a Leviathan thing" the text message from Sam read.

"Fuck," Toni breathed out as she placed her phone on the counter with a shaky hand.

"Your guy's brother getting worse?" The doctor questioned without taking his eyes off the latest test results.

Toni looked up from the counter answering, "No… No…He's okay… They just have a theory about who it is that spiked his sandwich. So…? Do you know what it is?"

He shook his head as he picked up another test tube distractedly saying, "No, not yet… But I do have another idea…"

The doctor kept moving around the lab as if Toni wasn't there and she did her best not to get in his way. She hadn't realized that she was remotely tired, let alone the fact that she was ready to fall asleep until she woke up to a pool of drool forming beside her hand. She frantically wiped her mouth with her sleeve as she searched the room for any signs of her friend.

"Coffee's fresh," Mikey informed her as he pulled some papers off of the printer.

"Thanks," she replied as she got up to pour herself a mugful. "So how are your tests going?"

"There's definitely an additive in the meat… But I haven't been able to put my finger on what it is yet," he answered as he held up a test tube filled with a murky looking substance.

"Oh… Okay…" Toni picked up her phone and she nearly dropped her coffee when she read the latest text message Sam had sent her. "Oh fuck no!" She exclaimed after reading "They have Bobby."

Toni quickly exchanged her coffee for her jacket and was running out the door without acknowledging her friend that was calling out after her.


	37. Full of Metaphors

Toni closed the passenger's side door of her truck with her hip as she juggled the paper bag in her arms with a heavy sigh escaping her lips. She now felt like she finally understood how Will and Alex had felt when they had tried to console her after the deaths in their family because she was starting to feel beyond useless when it came to erasing the pained expressions on either of the Winchesters' faces since the three of them settled at Rufus' cabin following Bobby's untimely death.

Although Toni was sure that her brothers were aware that she loved them greatly, she wasn't certain that they truly understood how much she had appreciated having them in her life, especially during those difficult times. Both Alex and Will had been willing to overlook their own sense of loss to do whatever they could to help to ease their younger sibling's suffering after their mother's passing without a single word of complaint. She had made sure to head back to Stanford as soon as it was humanly possible after Alex's funeral so that Will wouldn't have to worry about cushioning her feelings so that he could focus on his own mourning because she didn't think that it was fair for him to put her feelings before his own. She was able to mourn in her own way over the summer, which meant that she had to dodge a few weird looks from Vanessa at her new intense focus on her school work. Of course she had made sure to attend enough social functions to keep her roommate from complaining, but she never hesitated to cancel any plans with anyone if William called to 'just chat' or popped by campus for a visit.

Then she lost her brother William. At the time he was the last family member to whom she felt any sort of connection, so losing him nearly broke her completely. As much as she loved Vanessa, Kory and the other friends that she had made at Stanford, Toni had known that none of them would be able to help fill the hole in her heart at that time and she didn't want them to become the focus of her inevitable wrath that she knew would be the result of her frustration at the injustice she felt at losing her family, so she left school. She had dropped out and drove to Maryland in the misguided hope that she and her dad would finally be able to find some measure of comfort with each other now that they were the last survivors of the McNamara clan.

Of course that hadn't gone anywhere in the realm of being close to Toni's plans in the end. As soon as her dad read the official report and then the investigation notes about William's 'accident' that he had gotten his hands on through his connections, everything fell apart fast. Everything fell apart worse than anything Toni could have dared to imagine. Her dad shut down completely and just drank from the nearest bottle of vodka whenever he was awake. For the longest time Toni wasn't sure where the seemingly unending supply of vodka bottles had come from because she had become the self-appointed head of the house when she realized that her father had stopped cooking, cleaning or shopping for groceries and she definitely wasn't the one buying him his alcohol.

After a couple of weeks Toni hadn't been able to get her father to eat anything she made, no matter how basic the meal or how small the portion and soon after that their only interactions had become screaming matches about his drinking. The only time that she saw him outside of his room was when he was trying to find a new bottle in the freezer and their 'conversation' would soon digress into her screaming at him about how he loved his vodka bottles more than anything else on the planet, including his only living offspring and then everything somehow managed to get even worse from there.

Toni had all but forgotten about trying to take care of herself and her father until one day she realized that she had been wearing the same outfit for three days straight and that she had no other clean clothes for her to wear. That day she forced herself to sober up enough to feel disgusted about that fact and she decided to throw on a random sweat suit Alex had left at the house after she had taken a long hot bath before she gathered up her laundry to do more than one overdue load. As she collected her clothes together she caught a glimpse of her father's closed door and despite her better judgment she started to feel guilty for not taking care of the man that had given her life. They may have been at odds but she could understand and even sympathize with how his grief was affecting him. He too had lost everyone that he loved, including his two sons who had been on track to follow in their father's footsteps, so she could forgive some of the anger he had directed at her.

While she was gathering up a few discarded garments off her father's bedroom floor Toni had caught a glimpse of the manila folders that had been couriered to him by 'a friend' (as he said whenever she pushed to find out who had brought this disastrous news into his house). She had been trying to get her hands on them since their contents had caused her father to become so much more dependent on the bottle, but he had made sure to keep them out of her reach. Now he was passed out on the bed (completely oblivious to what was happening in the house) so Toni seized the opportunity to slip the folders on the top of her mound of laundry in the basket before she snuck out of her father's bedroom to get started on the house work.

While the first load churned in the washing machine, Toni read over all of the investigational details that she hadn't been allowed to read and she suddenly knew that her life would never be the same again. She now understood that her dad had been driven over the edge by the words on these pages, but their false accusations didn't do the same for her, or at least they didn't drive her to a destructive obsession like they had the Colonel. When Toni was done reading the files for the third time Toni actually gained a new sense of purpose that she fell into wholeheartedly and with a renewed zeal that she had never felt before Toni began her life as a hunter by delving into research mode to find out everything that was missing from the official report.

She was then able to sober up completely to do her research which eventually led to her being able to uncover some strange happenings that had occurred at the Naval Base even before she made the trip to the Pacific Northwest. Since she was spending nearly every waking hour at the library meticulously going through their periodicals, her father was being left alone more often than not at the townhouse. Toni hadn't really notice this or paid that fact much mind until she returned to her father's place to find an ambulance idling outside his front walkway, blocking her usual parking spot. When she got inside she found one of her father's friends in the den with a paper bag sitting on the floor by his feet with four bottles of vodka in it. Toni immediately saw red at finding out how her father was being supplied with the substance that had effectively killed any hopes of her having any kind of relationship with her dad, but she quickly stowed those feelings away to deal with the latest tragedy to plague her life: her father being semi-conscious on a stretcher.

At the hospital's recommendation Toni hired a home care nurse to live with her father full-time after he was released from their care. That didn't seem to be of any type of deterrence to his drinking at all, but Toni did finally feel less guilt about having to leave him for extended periods of time. After she was sure that he was settled in with the nurse, Toni had pretty much moved out of the townhouse and had given up her room for the home-worker to sleep in full-time. On the infrequent periods of time that she did visit her father, Toni usually just slept on the couch or she took one of Paulie's patrons upon their offers to 'show her a good time' and just didn't return to the townhouse at all between her shifts at the pub. She now admitted that that had actually been an avoidance tactic on her part, but at the time it was the only thing that she could think of to do to keep from going completely insane. She had hoped that when she solved the mystery behind William's death that everything would magically turn around with their relationship and that things would somehow just work between them, but when it didn't Toni was more than happy to focus all of her attention on the new calling in her life.

That calling, hunting as Sam called it, of course had been what had eventually led her to where she was now. She was now caring for two grieving brothers, one of whom found a particular fondness for distilled beverages. Toni's first instinct was to run back to Madison to be with her father while she cried out the pain that Bobby's death had caused, but she couldn't allow herself to give into that cowardice. Of course that didn't mean that she couldn't seek guidance from her father which in turn meant that she found herself calling him practically every time that she had a moment to herself.

" _ **We actually went back to the salvage yard to bury him," Toni explained in a quiet, meek tone.**_

" **Buried…?"**

" _ **After they built a pyre that is," Toni cut-in quickly when she realized that she hadn't made that fact clear. "Just like in the books, a proper hunter's funeral to the letter."**_

 _**The Colonel let out an audible sigh before repentantly saying,** _ **"Of course you did. I wouldn't have expected any less from you three… So…"** _**He paused for a couple of breaths before continuing,** _ **"How are you all holding up?"**

_**It was Toni's turn to sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose before replying, "The cabin is feeling very… Umm… Quiet. I think that if Sam wasn't worrying so much about Dean that he would be willing to talk with me, but since Dean isn't exactly in the caring and sharing mood…"** _

_**When Toni trailed off her dad gave her a few minutes to collect her thoughts in the hopes that she would finish her statement, but she remained silent.** _ **"Oh Angel I'm so sorry to hear that. Dean certainly can be a stubborn one, but give him time. I'm sure that he'll come around eventually."**

_**"I know Dad, I know… But it's been weeks and I don't even know if I'm helping or hurting them by still being here. I mean maybe if I wasn't here Dean would talk to Sam."** _

" **Toni… Angel don't… Please don't start doubting yourself now. I'm sure… No scratch that **…** I know that you being there is a huge help, especially for Sam. Plus… Well I assume that you've taken up the domestic responsibilities, right?"**

_**Toni let out a quick bark of a laugh as she twisted to look at the paper bags of groceries on the back bench of her truck before she replied, "That's part of the reason why I feel so bad for them… On top of everything else going on in their lives, the boys are also being subjected to my cooking. That fact alone makes me feel sorry for them."** _

" **Antonia,"** _ **her father chided her with equal parts humor and genuine exasperation.**_ **"We both know that your culinary skills have greatly improved over the last couple of years. And we both know that by you taking on that responsibility that it's allowed Sam to focus his energies on Dean which is the best thing you can do for him."**

_**Even though her father couldn't see her, Toni still ducked her head to hide the fact that she was blushing. "Yeah that's all true… But I still just wish that there was something more that I could do, you know?"** _

" **Oh Sweetheart you're doing a lot, so don't get down on yourself okay…? Okay?"** _ **After Toni mumbled a noise of agreement her father added,**_ **"I know that when we lost your mother and brothers I didn't really make myself available to you to come to for comfort, but you still seemed to have found a fairly healthy way to grieve, so what was it that you needed from your brothers back then to get through everything?"**

_**Toni slumped down in the driver's seat to hide from the non-existent crowd in the empty parking lot by the grocery store as she replied, "I mostly… Umm… I sort of just cried a lot and didn't really feel like doing anything but… Uhh… Alex and then Will, they… Umm… They made sure that I had food and that I kept hydrated and all that kind of stuff even when they weren't with me… Umm… They even recruited Vanessa for when they couldn't be with me… Alex… He… Uhh… He would even call just to chat about school and just regular life stuff even though I know he HATED talking on the phone… And… He kept reminding me that him, Will and Vanessa had my back and that all I had to do was call and they would be there for me."** _

_**Somehow Toni had managed to keep her voice steady and calm through her tears, but her father didn't make any attempts to hide his sniffle before he said,** _ **"And you just being available to Sam is all you need to do right now Angel. No one could force the process for you and you can't do anything to fast track it for them either. All you have to do is just be there for Sam and Dean right now Sweetheart. And don't try to put so much pressure on yourself, alright?"**

" _ **Alright… Alright," Toni replied calmly through her continuing tears. "I know you're right and I'll try to keep from putting too much pressure on myself… Okay… Well… On that note, I should probably being heading back in there…"**_

" **Oh! Of course you should,"** _ **he replied sounding somewhat relieved.**_ **"But Angel…? One more thing?"**

" _ **Yeah Dad?" Toni asked apprehensively because she really needed to compose herself before making the trip back to the hunting cabin so that Sam wouldn't see that she had been crying.**_

" **Don't forget that I love you and you can call me anytime that you need to talk… Day or night, I don't care about the hour of day."**

" _ **I won't forget… And I love you too Dad. Thanks for… Thanks… I'll talk to you later."**_

"Hey did you want me to give you a hand with all of that Toni?" Sam's hushed voice broke Toni of her reverie so suddenly that she nearly dropped the full bag that she was currently holding. Sam quickly caught her hands to help her steady the grocery bag again as he quietly apologized, "Sorry… Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you like that."

Toni gave him a small smile as she shook her head replying, "No it's alright. I didn't realize that I had zoned out so much… I guess it's a good thing that I waited until I had my truck parked to start daydreaming, huh?" Sam groaned with a good-natured eye roll but he didn't hesitate to bend over when Toni went up on her tip toes to give Sam a quick peck on his lips. "And yes I would really appreciate an extra set of hands carrying everything in. You are the best Boyfriend."

"Well then I guess that means that you can consider me your pack mule," Sam said with a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Toni made sure to only throw Sam a concerned look when he had his back turned to her because she knew that he was trying to keep up a brave front right now. If she and Sam had of been alone at the cabin, she would have tried a few different and creative techniques to get Sam to break down into tears or something similar to show his remorse at losing Bobby, but she knew that so long as the eldest Winchester was present that she had to let Sam remain stoic and strong. Once Dean finally broke down Sam would then be willing to show his own vulnerability, so Toni tried her best to remain patient and supportive.

Sam passed Toni another bag to carry in and then gave her another tight smile as he closed the door. They walked side by side slowly and Toni kept her eyes steadfastly fixed on the pathway while she asked just barely over a whisper, "So how's Dean doing?"

"Oh… You know…" Sam replied with a shrug. "His Dick Roman wall has gotten a lot bigger." Toni gave him a disapproving look at that comment to which Sam sighed then somewhat dejectedly added, "I think he finally ate some of the hash browns you made this morning. Other than that nothing else has really changed."

Before Sam could open the door, Toni awkwardly grabbed his hand to ensure that she had his full attention when she said, "Well that's a start, right? I… Uhh… I bought everything that I'll need to make up some bacon cheese burgers… Umm… If I made that for dinner tonight do you…? Do you think he'll have enough of an appetite to eat one?"

Sam leaned down to claim Toni's lips in a quick soft embrace before he replied, "In my experience Dean hasn't met a burger yet that he didn't want to devour. Thanks Toni."

Toni once again felt her cheeks flush brightly under a dark blush and she tried to duck her head to avoid Sam's eyes as she said, "And I found a Farmer's Market so I was able to get some amazing organic greens to make up a pretty good salad too."

Sam gave Toni a bright smile and this time Toni actually saw the corners of his eyes crinkle and she felt the tightness in her chest ease a bit. "That's awesome. Thanks Girlfriend."

When they entered the cabin Toni heard Sam let out a soft, dejected sigh at seeing Dean in the exact same spot that he had been in since he had gotten up that morning. Toni was tempted to do the same, but then her father's words of wisdom from their conversation earlier in the day echoed in her mind so she instead gave Sam a strong smile while they worked at unloading the groceries. While Sam moved around the small kitchen, Toni caught him throwing a few worried glances at his brother's back and she couldn't help notice the toll that his stress was having on him physically. The prominent bags under his eyes told her that he was getting even less sleep than she was or that she thought he was getting at night.

Dean was sitting at a desk in front of a wall covered in maps and articles about Richard Roman Enterprises, as well as the company's owner. The only movement that Toni noticed from that side of the room was Dean moving his right hand to sip from his tumbler of whiskey. Even though the bottle sitting in front of him was still practically full, Toni still removed the new bottle she had just bought and carried it over to him along with a couple of new periodicals.

"I put a Post-It on the page with a blurb on Dick in the Newsweek there for you so it'll be easier to find," Toni explained as she carefully piled the magazines on top of two newspapers on an empty corner of the desk.

Dean looked up from his yellow note pad to look at the materials Toni had referenced before saying a very quiet, "Thanks."

Toni gave him a quick, understanding smile and could help but steal a glance over his shoulder to sneak a peek at the notes that Dean had jotted down. At the top of the page she saw that he had written in large, bold writing "45489". Sam had already told her that Bobby had scrawled those digits on his palm on his death bed so she knew the significance that they held for the brothers beyond the obvious fact that they were a clue to hopefully stopping Dick Roman and the Leviathans. Underneath of that she noticed that Dean had started a list of potential explanations consisting of: ZIP CODE, LOCK, V-MAIL, and PASS… Toni figured that the last item on the list was just a partial word because Dean was finishing his thought on paper as she made her way back towards Sam.

Once all of the groceries were put away, Sam and Toni stood beside the kitchen counter to watch Dean in an almost uncomfortable silence. The elder Winchester exchanged his note pad for the magazine that Toni had made sure to place on the top of the pile of reading materials. Without even reading the contents of the article, Dean started cutting it out and affixed it to the wall in front of him. He then remained standing to read the item he had pinned to the board and then he underlined a few lines in the article. Sam looked like he was going to call out to his brother a couple of times, but he just closed his mouth and shook his head after each of his attempts to speak and looked even more withdrawn.

After Sam had turned away from his brother, Toni took his left hand in her right and gave his arm a gentle, yet insistent, tug. Once she had his attention Toni motioned with her head towards the bedroom. Sam nodded in silent understanding and then he allowed himself to be led into the other room by the petite brunette.

Toni motioned for Sam to take a seat on the bed while she made sure that the door was closed securely as quietly as possible. Sam settled quickly on the mattress while he watched Toni move slowly towards him. She moved in between his legs and remained standing as she shared yet another sad smile with Sam as she started to run her fingers through his hair.

Sam closed his eyes and he allowed himself to finally relax almost completely under her touch and Toni had to struggle to keep her voice even as she asked, "Did you get any sleep last night?" Sam shook his head slowly, but kept his eyes closed causing Toni to sigh loudly. "Sam you can't keep doing this to your body. I know that Dean's been working almost non-stop on those numbers, but you really need to take care of yourself."

"I know," he replied as he wrapped his arms around her waist so that he could rest the side of his head on her stomach. "But every time I close my eyes…"

When Sam trailed off, Toni wrapped her arms around his head in a gentle hug. "I know Sam, I know… But could you maybe try…? For me?" Sam pushed out of her embrace, but Toni was quick to silence his inevitable protest with a kiss. "Dean's going to be tied up for a while with the new reading materials I just brought him, so I think you'll be safe and have some time to try to squeeze in a nap." Sam looked like he was still going to try to argue with her, so Toni let all of her emotions show in her eyes and tone as she tried once again to persuade him pleading, "Please Sam? Please…? At least just try…"

With another heavy sigh Sam nodded then finally conceded, "Okay, I'll try… But on one condition."

"Anything," Toni agreed without hesitation.

Sam slipped his hands into the back pockets of Toni's jeans and pulled her even closer to him as he nearly whispered, "Join me?"

All of the tension that Toni had felt building in her muscles melted away and she couldn't have hidden her relief even if she had put some effort into it when she answered, "Of course."

Toni leaned down to claim Sam's lips and then she let Sam practically manhandle her so that she was sitting in his lap. She remained somewhat limp in his arms but completely focused on matching Sam's intensity as they kissed while Sam eased them all the way back until he was laying down on the bed with Toni draped over his body. They stayed like that for a few minutes then Sam somehow moved them so that he had his head on his pillow without breaking their embraces.

Eventually they both found it hard to breathe so they both pulled back away from the other's lips in order to try to catch their breath. When they noticed that their ability to be completely in synch with practically no effort or conscious thought hadn't changed, Sam and Toni issued a soft chuckle, once again completely in synch in level of volume and length of their laughter. They then shifted onto their sides so that they could stare at each other more comfortably. Once they were settled, Sam started to almost pet the length of Toni's arm and she couldn't help her face from falling into a sad, concerned frown.

Sam moved his hand up to the exposed side of Toni's face and whispered as he trailed his fingers over her cheekbone. "You aren't looking so hot there McNamara." Toni let out an almost startled laugh as she simultaneously slapped Sam's side with a weak hit. "If I didn't know any better," Sam continued as if Toni hadn't responded at all. "I would be led to believe that you've been worrying about someone that you're pretty fond of."

Toni let him slip his hand to the back of her head and maintained disturbingly direct eye contact with him with she tried to come up with a witty retort. Normally she wouldn't have had to put in much effort to be the victor of any verbal sparring, but in this moment of time her only response was to let a couple of tears slip out of her eyes. Sam kept his eyes locked on hers, but he did move his hand to brush away Toni's tears as they started to accumulate on her chin.

"No," she finally whispered around the huge lump in her throat causing Sam's eyes flew wide open. Toni leaned in close enough to Sam's face that their noses were just barely touching as she finished. "I'm worried about someone with whom I'm madly in love."

Sam's eyes clouded over in deeper sadness before he closed them and issued a forlorn sounding, "Toni…"

"I know, I know," she jumped in rubbing her cheek against Sam's. "I'm using proper grammar and everything." Sam startled out a huff of a laugh as Toni kissed his temple before she settled back on her side of the bed. "But seriously, I think we all look like shit because we haven't been sleeping enough. So are you ready to try to catch a little shut eye?"

Sam nodded then brushed a soft kiss on Toni's lips replying, "I think you can talk me into putting in more than a little effort on this subject."

Toni pressed her mouth against his one last time before she shimmied down the length of Sam's body to place her head on his chest to use it as a pillow. Sam shifted his right arm slightly so that they were both more comfortable while Toni's mind ran though the different sentiments that she could say next. "Sweet dreams" and "Good night" were the first salutations that popped into her head, but they seemed to 'cutesy' and clichéd for what Toni wanted to convey to her boyfriend in this moment.

"Get some sleep," slipped past her lips instead of any empty sentiments in a gentle, sincerely loving tone.

Sam answered by further relaxing his body under Toni's hand that was tracing soft circles over his heart and left pectoral muscle. Since it seemed to be an integral part to helping Sam relax so Toni maintained the soft circular pattern that she had established on his chest even after she felt his breathing ease into a quiet, restful snore. Toni forced herself to remain still and to maintain her own even pace of breathing even after she was certain that Sam was actually sleeping just in case he wasn't sleeping as deeply as she hoped he could.

After what felt like an eternity Toni let her hand cease its motion and then it drifted down to Sam's waist with an unnatural ease. Toni gave Sam's torso an almost imperceptible squeeze before she allowed herself to further relax against his body. He was actually still sleeping so Toni felt absolutely no remorse at having to use guilt or her tears to force him into this state. Later he might be annoyed, later he might be unhappy, later he might be a lot of different things, but so long as 'more rested' was added to the list of possibilities along with everything else then Toni was beyond elated that her deceitful measures had worked.

Sam was still soundly asleep when Toni woke up, so she carefully extracted herself from his grasp in order to keep from disturbing his slumber. She tried her best to keep the noise that she would make to a minimum because she was still worried that she would wake Sam or that she would interrupt Dean's train of thought. To date the elder male had remained somewhat withdrawn while doing his research, but Toni knew that there was still the potential of him resorting to violent outbursts due to his frustration. She wouldn't have begrudged him that reaction because she would have responded the same way if she had been in his place. The lack of quality sleep would have been enough to push Toni over the edge, but with the added liquor intake and absence of appetite that Dean had going on, sudden burst of irrational anger seemed more than likely to occur because Toni would have succumb to it way before now were she in his shoes.

In the other room Toni was more than mildly surprised to find that Dean wasn't sitting at his usual perch behind the desk. She froze in her spot in the doorway to survey the room and felt a near panic overtake her at not being able to find Dean right away.

It took a couple of minutes for Toni to regain her faculties and to be able to think straight. She then took a deep breath and started to look around the room for clues for where he might have gone. First she went to the window by the front door and slumped a little in relief to see that the Impala was still resting in the same spot Dean had parked it when the trio first settles in at their new quarters.

Toni jumped slightly after she turned around to face the room again. The small gasp that slipped past her lips quickly turned into a low, embarrassed chuckle quickly because she couldn't believe that the sight of Dean's sleeping form could have startled her so much. He was sprawled out over the couch with his right hand hanging loosely over the edge of the cushion with his fingertips resting on the yellow note pad that laid ignored on the floor. Toni's eyes quickly moved to his left hand and was pleasantly surprised to see that Dean had actually put the lid back on his whiskey bottle before finally succumbing to its numbing effects.

There was no blanket close by to drape over Dean, but even if there had been one close by Toni most likely wouldn't have used it. This was the deepest Toni had seen Dean sleep since she had reconnected with the Winchesters in New Jersey and she didn't want to do anything to disturb him at all. She gave the whiskey bottle a handful of sidelong looks as she moved towards the notepad but finally convinced herself not to touch it either. Instead she knelt down to pick up Dean's notepad and carefully placed it on the coffee table beside him, but not without scrutinizing Dean's scribbles on the pad.

Toni remained behind the couch for a couple of awkward moments before she forced her feet to finally move. Over the past couple of weeks Toni had been the only one of the three to actually get more than a couple hours of sleep every other night because her mind and body just couldn't endure the mental and physical exhaustion like the Winchesters seemed to be able to do. While they remained awake and on task, Toni would literally pass out in her spot and then she would wake up later in the bed that she now shared with Sam. She was tempted to busy herself with cleaning up the cabin instead of watching the brothers sleep but she decided against doing that as well because she didn't want to risk making too much noise. This is probably what led Toni to find herself staring at the wall Dean had plastered with information about Dick Roman.

Toni's eyes almost immediately focused on the maps that could still be seen between the articles on the wall. She knew that "ZIP CODE" was the first item on Dean's list because she had insisted that that was the most logical explanation for the five digit sequence Bobby had passed on to the Winchesters with his last dying breath. She now knew that she was wrong and readily admitted it, but she still wasn't sure if Dean had forgiven her for 'wasting' their time. (As she put it… Neither Winchester used such a vulgar term because they had been will to pursue any lead available, no matter how crazy or benign it may be, but Toni still felt guilty that she had focused so single mindedly on that one idea.)

"You need to stop beating yourself up about that."

The only thing that kept Toni from screaming or falling over was that Sam had wrapped his arms around her torso, clamped a large hand over her mouth and hugged her tightly to his chest while he whispered in her ear. Toni unconsciously went completely rigid at feeling her body be physically restricted but the warmth of Sam's body along with the sinfully sweet timber of his voice helped her to relax almost instantly. Sam was quick to notice that Toni wasn't going to issue a sound that could potentially wake his brother, so he let his hand fall away from her mouth but he still kept her caged in the strength of his arms. Once Sam seemed content to just hold her against his chest, Toni allowed herself to relish in his strength and let him be her pillar of strength while she relaxed even more against him.

Toni opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself and instead extracted herself from Sam's arms. He was quick to show her his concern, but Toni just threw a quick look at his brother who was thankfully in a deep sleep. Sam stared at Dean for a moment, lost in his own thoughts and then he nodded almost sadly before letting his girlfriend lead him out the front door.

Sam started to feel slightly unnerved by Toni's continued silence but he did very little to show it as she pulled him down the front stairs. When they reached the bottom Toni turned and frowned up at him. Sam's earlier trepidation turned into a near panic but then Toni flashed him a quick, wicked grin that kept Sam silent.

Toni nearly ran up a couple of steps then she turned Sam by the shoulders to face her. She was still a few inches shy of matching his height, but being able to pull his face forward for an enthusiastic kiss still made Toni smile brightly. For the most part Sam remained completely pliable for her and moved wherever Toni needed him to be for purposes known only to her.

After another quick kiss Toni gave Sam a much easier smile before she said, "And I have… I swear I have Sam, but I still think that those numbers will lead us to a place and not a person or thing."

"Okay…" Sam replied as he regarded Toni cautiously. "But even if that's true, Dean's looked into pretty much everything that those numbers could be and none of them lead to anything remotely connected to Dick and the Leviathans."

"Yet."

Sam pulled even further away from his girlfriend's hold to give Toni a look of confusion as he asked "Yet?"

The corners of Toni's lips curled back to grin at him predatorily as she pulled her shirt up and over her head to drop it at the bottom of the stairs by Sam's feet. He almost moved to pick up Toni's discarded garment, but he stopped to watch her make her way to the back door of the Impala. There Toni paused to turn back to him while standing in just her bra and panties. Before opening the backdoor Toni shivered and neither of them knew for sure whether it was because of the cool night air or if it was because of Toni's expectations for what she wanted Sam to make her feel in the backseat of this iconic car.

They shared a look as Toni shimmied out of her panties with one hand still on the door handle, but Sam didn't move until she had the door open and was moving to get inside of the Impala. It took Sam longer than he would have like it to in order to join Toni beside his brother's beloved car.

After tripping more than once, Sam finally stood beside the now open door of the Impala in just his boxers. The sight that met him froze Sam completely in his place. Toni had sprawled out over the back seat with such an ease that she looked like she had laid herself out over a plush king sized bed instead of a fairly cramped automobile. Sam's eyes were so focused on Toni's blissed out facial expression that it took Sam more than a little effort to pull his eyes away from her face to discover the origin of her blissed out stated. Toni's right hand had drifted to the area between her legs and Sam didn't need any light sources to know what she was doing to keep herself contently occupied while she waited for him to join her.

Sam cleared his throat loudly causing Toni's eyes to fly wide open. When she gaped slightly with her eyes trained fixedly on his own, Sam knew that her fingers hadn't ceased their motion and he also knew that he had to do something to help to change her focus.

Sam didn't shed the last piece of his clothing until he found himself kneeling by Toni's feet with the door firmly closed behind him. Toni rewarded him with another sharp gasp and then a breathy explanation, "Sorry… Carver… Chuck… Whoever only ever wrote about Dean's exploits in the backseat of the… THE Impala… Since the first book I read…" She paused to grasp Sam's sex in the hand covered with her own arousal. "I've been imagining what 'Sam' would look like while taking a girl… Especially in the backseat of Dean's Impala behind his brother's back."

Sam's only pause came at hearing his brother's name, but he didn't hesitate to take what Toni was offering him right now. He knew she didn't need him to stop and kiss her to make this coupling 'sweet'. In these confines with their height differences they wouldn't be able to maintain such intimate contact, so Sam kissed Toni softly then he shared a look with her before moving back into position. Toni almost worried that Sam wasn't ready to take her like Dean had so many other women on the leather of this bench but then Sam's smile suddenly morphed into a knowing smirk that made her heart skip a beat in anticipation.

"Sam?" She breathed out not just as a question, but also as a desperate plea.

He smiled down at her then shifted their bodies so that he could enter his girlfriend in one long, easy thrust. Toni gasped once again and almost felt slightly afraid about Sam's forcefulness without her prodding, but then she realized that he was giving her what she truly wanted without her having to demand it out loud like she had in the past so she just responded by thrusting her hips up off the bench to meet Sam's.

"So good Sam," she praised as he continued thrusting his weight back and forth.

Sam's pattern only stuttered when he felt that he was close to his own completion which caused him to pull back and check Toni's face. Even though Sam wasn't used to this quick pace with any other woman that he had had under him, Toni still remained more than okay with it and hoped that her annoyance at his slowing down to a near stop showed on her face in the almost non-existent light.

Mere moments after Sam restarted thrusting in and out of her awaiting body Toni was screaming out her boyfriend's name along with her completion.

Toni had nearly caught her breath before Sam started moving his hips back and forth once again with purposed so that he could cause her to orgasm once again as he felt himself tumble over the edge into pure bliss.

"So…? Was sex in the Impala all that you dreamed it would be?" Sam questioned quietly into Toni's ear as he tried to rearrange their bodies into a more comfortable position.

Somehow Sam ended up seated on the bench seat while Toni's small frame became engulfed in his embrace. Once she was settled on his lap Toni hugged Sam's torso answering, "It was better than any dream my brain could have ever tried to come up with."

Toni forced herself not to look Sam in the eye when she felt him flex his pectoral muscles so that she could clarify, "I mean I know this is the… THE IMPALA… Dean practically lost his virginity here… Ever girl that read the series wanted to be the girl that Dean was with back here and to know what it was like, but… Well to be with a Winchester that you love in the back seat… Well how many girls actually get THAT honor?" Sam gave Toni an odd look so she quickly repented while shoving softly at his chest to sit up of her own accord, "I didn't… Sam we didn't just have sex back here because it was some kind of fan girl conquest or anything…"

Sam easily forced his girlfriend to remain in his lap as he answered, "I know Toni, but if I had of known that this (he gestured vaguely around the car with his left hand) was a fantasy of yours, I would have gratefully fulfilled it before now."

Toni gave Sam's torso a quick squeeze as she replied, "Sex in the Impala wasn't exactly a fantasy of mine…" After she leaned back to look Sam in the eye she added, "But sex with Sam… Well with Sam Winchester is always amazing and adding the hotness of the Impala… Well then the sex is beyond fucking unbelievable and… Well… That's something that I can only tell you, so please…? Don't hold it against me?"

"Never," Sam answered with a chuckle and a kiss against Toni's temple.

It didn't take long before Sam and Toni felt the full effects of being outdoors in the Impala without proper covering. When Toni shivered unconsciously Sam remained silent and just pressed her closer to his chest in the hopes that he could keep her warm with his own body heat. Toni didn't object to this idea at all and just relaxed further against Sam's left side with her legs stretched out beyond Sam's right hip.

After a long comfortable silence their breathing fell into synch and Toni finally felt comfortable sharing her latest theory with her boyfriend.

Toni gave Sam's body another quick squeeze as she said against his chest, "Good… I'm glad you won't because I wanted to leave you with a… Uhh… Good memory of me because I think I have another lead that could work."

"Oh yeah? And what would this new lead be Girlfriend?"

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Retired Corporal Samson Gaul looked up from his latest project to smile at Retired Colonel Tom McNamara saying, "This daughter of yours sure does know how to keep an old man's mind preoccupied. So what other puzzle does she have ready of us once I've solved this one?"

The Colonel gave the Corporal a sly smile replying, "Well Old Man if I told you that wouldn't it ruin some of the fun?"

The younger retiree laughed then added, "Maybe, but why don't you come over here to add your two cents before we give up on Toni's latest riddle?"

Toni smiled at the two retirees that looked so comfortable with the other men around the table that could have at one point been regarded as their county's most prized think tank for any military maneuvering as she asked with a light hearted chuckle, "And how about I get you all a refill on your coffees to help keep you going?"


	38. And For the Faithless in Me

Toni let out a heavy sigh as she touched her fingertips to the left side of Sam's neck. He shivered under her gentle touch and closed his eyes to help him to maintain is composure as he said, "It's really no big deal Toni."

She continued to pet the side of his neck replying, "It almost looks the same as a vampire bite. How did you know that you weren't actually hunting a vampire?"

Sam grabbed a hold of Toni's hand to force eye contact between them as he shifted on the couch to face her more comfortably. "At first I thought it was, but then I checked the victims at the morgue and noticed that the bite pattern didn't fit, so I pulled out my dad's journal. He had a write up about them and everything else about the case matched up from there… Well more or less."

"Everything else? Like what?"

Even though he tried his best to suppress it, a proud smile spread across Sam's face. When Toni had first gotten back to the cabin, she couldn't stop touching Sam to make sure that he as in fact still alive and well because he had already given her all of the graphic details of his abduction. But true to form Toni's concern quickly turned into curiosity when she realized that she had the chance to learn about a new creature that she had never encountered before either in person or in text. She had curled up onto the couch with her right arm on the back of the couch to support her head while she listened intently to every word Sam spoke. Sam had to resist the urge to lean over to kiss her or to call her 'cute' because he knew that that would set him on the fast track to being sent to the doghouse with Toni.

Instead he just smiled as he mirrored Toni's position on the couch and answered, "Firstly, they went exclusively after men. Vampires aren't usually all that picky… And that vamp in New York… Dixon or whatever his name was notwithstanding. (He added the last part when he saw Toni open her mouth to interrupt. This explanation caused her to blush profusely with a sheepish look on her face when she closed her mouth.) And the time lines were off too." Sam paused there in anticipation of Toni asking him to clarify that statement, but she just sat there with an expectant look on her face. Sam couldn't resist this time and he did lean in to place a quick kiss on her lips. Toni frowned at him in confusion before he finally added, "Every single one of the victims had been missing for at least four days before they turned up freshly drained. Vampires don't usually prolong the deaths of their prey, they either drain someone or they turn them, no in between… Well not usually, but there are always exceptions to the rule."

"Huh." Toni reached out to touch his bite mark again and looked like she was deep in her own thoughts when she asked, "And these Vet…? Vet…? These things, their…?"

"Vetala," Dean announced over the rest of Toni's question as he entered the room.

Toni jumped at the sound of his voice then turned to watch him close the front door of the cabin. She and Sam remained silent thinking that Dean was going to add more to his commentary, but Dean practically ignored them as he unloaded the bag he was carrying into the fridge. Dean then pulled a cold beer out of the fridge before sitting down at the desk to go over a pile of information he had brought to the cabin that Frank Devereaux had given him.

When it became glaringly apparent that Dean wasn't going to be an active participant in their conversation, Toni turned back to Sam and shrugged as she asked just barely over a whisper, "Their saliva…? You said something about it being venom that knocks the victim out?"

Sam nodded then moved closer to her so he could keep the level of his voice as low as hers while also making it so that neither of them had to strain to hear the other, "Exactly. Dad thought that they were loaners, but they actually seem to prefer to hunt in pairs."

"Easier to carry their bounty home to snack on them that way."

Sam opened his mouth to reply but they both froze when they heard Dean let out a loud scoff. "Good logic there Toni. I think your boyfriend over there could have used your help on this last one just for your deductive reasoning alone."

Toni twisted around in her seat to face the elder Winchester to light heartedly reply, "But lucky for him he had his big brother to swoop in and save the day when I couldn't be there."

Dean turned in his seat to give Toni an unfriendly look, but he couldn't help but crack a smile at the doe eyed, innocent expression she was wearing, "Yeah, I guess it is… But having to leave Frank when we were in the middle of our research wasn't really part of the plan for me."

Sam swallowed hard looking guilty as he shrunk back in his seat. Toni reached over to squeeze his hand to try to reassure him. "Speaking of…" Both of the Winchesters gave her a questioning look causing her to smile at the fact that she had been able to capture their attention so easily. She settled in her seat and tried to look between the two brothers as she explained, "As you already know dad's think tank didn't really come up with anything useful but when I mentioned Devereaux's name, a few interesting things came up."

"Things…?" Dean started as he got up and moved closer to where Sam and Toni were seated. Once he was settled on the coffee table in front of where the other two were seated he finished his thought asking, "What kind of things Toni?"

"Well for starters they knew him. I mean you hear about all kinds of whack jobs that think the government is monitoring their every move and in this instance he's totally right." The Winchesters shared a look that Toni couldn't decipher and caused her to slump down in her spot as she continued in a more timid tone, "So one of the guys was saying that Frank is the kind of nutcase that has proven to be really useful at times which has kept him from being eliminated."

"Eliminated?" Sam questioned quietly. "Do you mean…?"

"Yeah, I do. Apparently 'back in the day' it was a popular method of maintaining the status quo. But like I said, Frank isn't just a nut job; he's actually kind of a genius. You know that whole genius bordering on insanity? Well Devereaux is it, so instead of getting rid of him, they just stole some of his ideas over the years. Everyone was really impressed that you were able to convince him to help you and no one was at all surprised that he figured out a solid lead."

"Shit…" The brothers sighed out at the same time. Dean then sat back, clapped his hands together and said with a chuckle, "So crazy old Frank Devereaux isn't so paranoid after all." He reached over and clamped a hand on Toni's shoulder. "Thanks again for doing that by the way."

Toni shrugged then said, "It's no big deal. I still wish that they could have come up with something more important than just helping to get information on the land."

It was Dean's turn to shrug as he stood up and replied, "Well now we know where the numbers lead and that's all that matters. So, who's hungry?"

Toni and Sam let out a quick laugh in response to Dean's change of subject. Toni then stood up and offered, "Why don't I get the burgers started?"

For the next little while, the trio left Frank Devereaux to monitor the 'Wisconsin Property' (as Dean had dubbed it) while they alternated between looking for new jobs and further researching Richard Roman Enterprises and its subsidiaries. Toni felt mildly guilty that she was feeling so content about prolonging their stay at the cabin. This way she was actually able to spend some quality time with her boyfriend (not nearly as intimately as she would have liked to since they weren't staying there alone and neither of them wanted to rub Dean's nose in that aspect of their relationship). But more importantly by the three of them being under one roof, Toni had the peace of mind of knowing that both Sam and Dean were safe.

But Toni wasn't delusional, she understood that this job that they were doing came with risks, however with everything they had been through as of late she was even more concerned about the guys. Dean barely stayed sober enough to drive anywhere most days and he seemed to be single-mindedly focused on Dick Roman that she worried about him being distracted on the job. Sam… Well he wouldn't admit it to Toni, but she could tell that something was going on with him and that it had nothing to do with watching out for his brother (although his concern for Dean did preoccupy his thoughts). His sleeping pattern had become very erratic again and even though he hadn't disclosed any information to her, Toni knew that he was one again having nightmares that were interrupting his sleep. She was pretty sure that she knew who was playing a starring role in Sam's nightmares, but she couldn't find the courage to bring up the subject of Satan. She recalled all too vividly how angry Sam had gotten with one of his hallucinations and she really didn't want to relive that experience any time soon.

Even with the feelings of contentment, Toni knew that she was going to be experiencing the effects of cabin fever sooner or later. She didn't know the area surrounding the cabin well enough to go out for a proper run to help expel some of her nervous energy. The last time she had tried to, she had nearly broken her leg and ankle when the path she was running on suddenly disappeared and became a mess of exposed roots and heavy underbrush. The perfect cure for her restlessness would be working a job so she threw herself into finding one with a new sense of purpose.

"Huh," Sam grunted out forcing Toni's attention away from her laptop.

When Sam didn't elaborate, Toni nudged his thigh softly with her fist. Sam continued to read whatever was on his computer's screen, so she gave his leg another insistent shove. This seemed to actually work because Sam finally turned his head to be met with Toni giving his a quirked eyebrow and a facial expression that asked 'What the hell?'.

"Oh… Sorry, sorry. I think I found something," he finally explained as he turned his laptop towards his companion.

Toni slid closer to Sam and invaded his space in such a way that he was practically forced to wrap his arm around her shoulders. She made a couple of thought filled noises as she read through the article when she got to the end she scrolled back up to the top and went totally rigid against Sam's side.

"Hey… You okay?" Sam questioned quietly against her hair as he squeezed her against his side with the arm he still had wrapped around her shoulders.

Toni nodded softly against his chest then answered in an unsure voice, "This is from the Seattle P.I."

"Yeah," Sam agreed without sounding like he understood the reason for her trepidation.

Toni remained tucked under Sam's arm with her eyes fixed on the laptop's screen saying, "That's awfully close to Everett…"

When she trailed off, Sam pushed her out of his embrace and held Toni at arm's length by the shoulders, "Yeah I know… But Toni…? You've worked jobs out that way since then, so why is this freaking you out so much right now?"

"Look at the date," she stated in a bland, vacant tone.

Sam let go of her to lean in closer to the coffee table to check that specific piece of information. After he had read it for a third time he sat back to give Toni another questioning look, but she missed it because she kept her eyes turned down to stare at her hands in her lap.

Sam reached over to place his right hand over both of hers and held them gently. Toni waited for him to speak and when he didn't she quietly explained to their hands, "The anniversary is in a couple of days. I've always tried to avoid being up there when it comes up because a lot of his friends still live up there and I can't not go up there without calling them. Hell a few of them even work for the police all over the Pacific Northwest, so the chances of running into them are pretty inevitable… Anyway… The last time I was in the area around this time of year, all they wanted to do was reminisce about old times and that led to them talking about a weird grave desecration that happened a few months after Will passed and I…"

Toni got really quiet near the end of her explanation and then Sam felt a couple of tears hit the back of his hand. She sniffled quietly a couple of times but refused to look up at Sam's face, so he pulled her against his chest to give her a tight hug. Toni shuddered against his chest and then she seemed to relax somewhat against him instead of continuing to cry like Sam had anticipated.

After a few minutes, Toni took a deep breath and pushed out of Sam's hold to calmly explain, "I know I had to do it, just like we do any time we have to vanquish an angry spirit but he had been a naval officer. He… He fought for our country and… I don't know but seeing the anger on Will's friends faces when they talk about it… Well it made me sick to my stomach to see that I could put that look on another person's face."

Sam reached out and cupped Toni's cheek as he lovingly said, "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that alone."

Toni shrugged then quietly replied, "It's all part of the job right? We have to do weird shit that the general public would never dream of doing to save lives and then we have to lie about it. It's nothing to be ashamed about, right?"

"No it isn't really, but still… I know how much you respect what your family and their friends do and have done, so I know how hard it is on you to lie to all of them about this." Sam pulled her in for another hug then said against her hair, "And if you don't want to come with us on this job then you're more than welcome to sit this one out. I'm sure you'll still be able to help us with research from here while we're there."

"Really? I mean… Are you sure?" Toni questioned with her cheek pressed against Sam's chest so that she could feel his heart beating steadily.

Sam started to pet the length of her hair and smiled against the top of her head. "Of course it's alright." He felt her squeeze his torso tightly and mumble something into his chest before he added, "Plus whatever it is, it seems to be going after men, so you wouldn't really be helpful as bait anyways."

"Sam," Toni quietly whined at his joke as she slapped his chest weakly. "Thanks for understanding. I… I wish I could go, but you really don't need to be worrying about me freaking out while you're working a job either."

In preparation for this latest job, Toni helped Sam sift through the books that the Winchesters had managed to salvage form the wreckage of Bobby's house. Much to Toni's chagrin, the Winchesters had packed the boxes with the same care as Bobby had stocked the shelves of his library, which meant that there was absolutely no rhyme or reason for where books on any particular topic would be found. Sam had given Toni some of the details about the case so she was trying her best to find anything that could potentially be helpful to the guys, but without knowing what specific creature they were going to be taking on, Toni felt like she was just moving the books from one box to another.

 _At least the boxes will be more neatly packed now_ Toni thought to herself as she carefully placed two boxes into the box beside her.

"Alright, soup's on kids," Dean announced triumphantly as he came through the front door. "Whoa… What'd I miss while I was on a food run?"

Sam and Toni looked up from where they were sitting on the couch by a pile of books. Sam squeezed Toni's knee and whispered something in her ear that Dean couldn't quite hear. Toni nodded then turned her attention back to the pile of books while Sam got up and moved towards his brother's side in the kitchen area.

Anticipating the worst, Dean pulled a fresh bottle of cold beer out of the fridge. Sam shook his head and had a small smile tugging at his lips when he said, "It isn't anything bad… Well I guess it really depends on your perspective… Anyway, I found a job for us over in Seattle."

Dean swallowed his mouthful of beer and gave his brother a look of contempt saying, "Sounds good, but what's up with Debbie Downer over there?"

"Dean!" Sam huffed out with a decidedly annoyed tone. He quickly checked over his shoulder to see if Toni had heard his brother's insensitive question and when it appeared she hadn't he turned back to Dean and explained in a very hushed tone, "Given the time of year Toni doesn't feel comfortable hunting in the Puget Sound area, alright?" Sam hoped that his brother would catch onto his meaning form the look in his eye but contrary to the norm, Sam's brother seemed more interested in the bottle in he was holding than his brother's non-verbal communication.

"Given the time of year?" Dean questioned indignantly at full volume. "What the hell does that mean Sam? Because… Honestly I've never met a serious hunter who would avoid an area because the time of year didn't suit them. We go where the job takes us, no matter where, no matter when."

Toni let out a quiet shudder that bordered on a full out sob before Sam could answer his brother's accusation. He then remained silent and frozen in his place when he saw Toni stand up and say, "No Sam, he's right." Both Winchesters stared at her with a surprised look on their face as she turned to face them with her tears blatantly falling from her eyes explaining in a fairly clam tone, "Normally I would think the same way as you Dean and any excuse they threw at me would feel like nothing but a cop out, but here's the truth…"

Before she spoke again Toni took in a few quick breaths, much like a swimmer trying to saturate their lungs with oxygen before a significant dive and the Winchesters remained silent while they watched her apprehensively. Once her breathing evened out Toni finally faced the elder Winchester straight on saying, "The anniversary of my brother's death falls on the day after tomorrow. His birthday would have been the day after that. Tara's… Will's almost fiancée was born two days after him and by brother's greatest wish was for their wedding anniversary to be on the day that fell between their birthdays… He even wanted to propose to her on that day but he waited for months and put off asking her so that he could have the perfect ring made and to have me be up there to celebrate right after he proposed… Anyways… It was this time of year that 'someone' showed up in Everett and vandalized a naval officer's grave, so I like to avoid the area as much as I can since that person hasn't been found yet." When Dean stared at her in silently looking like he didn't understand her meaning, Toni more insistently added, "Is that okay with you Dean? Because it took me a couple of months before I figured out who the spirit was that killed my brother and by then it created a new anniversary near Will's birthday that I wish I never had to remember… The anniversary I wish I could whitewash from my memory forever but can't!" By this time Toni was screeching at near Banshee levels and encroaching on Dean's personal space. "I wish I never remembered having to burn my brother's bones because vanquishing the spirit that killed him didn't lay my brother's soul to rest and William… My Will… By then he had risen up as an angry ghost even though I had everything figured out and had destroyed the ghost that… That killed him and destroyed my family… So…"

"So maybe we can have some compassion," Sam offered keeping his calm eyes trained on Toni's face as much as possible.

Dean started to nod, but Toni sobbed in defeat causing Sam to run to her side. She continued to try to be comforted by Sam's presence and she tried to let his words calm her but right now she was too distraught to let anything penetrate her pain. Toni hadn't been able to tell anyone of Will's eventual fate and had no idea that reliving it would hurt as much as it did that day.

Dean continued to watch the other two in complete silence while his guilt started to mount in the pit of his stomach. Sam's efforts seemed to be paying off because Toni's tears finally started to subside once he had her seated on the couch once again while being held tightly in his arms. When Sam heard his brother pour a glass of whiskey he couldn't help but roll his eyes, but that quickly turned into a look of surprise when Dean sat down on the coffee table in front of the couple and held the glass out to Toni. She stared at him for a moment and didn't move so Dean shook his hand slightly to make his offer even clearer to her. Toni then took the glass from him, but she still had an unsure, apprehensive look on her face.

"Look Toni I… I had no idea that you went through all of that with your brother," Dean apologized in a soft, careful tone. He then turned and gave his brother an unfriendly look and added, "I never would have said anything like that if I had of been told that part of your history. I'm really sorry."

Sam opened his mouth to reply while mirroring his brother's expression but stopped himself from speaking when Toni reached out and squeezed Dean's knee. "He didn't know about everything that happened with Will… And especially not that last little bit about me having to hunt him." She then turned to look at Sam with new tears welling up in her eyes. "I didn't tell anyone about it. I was afraid that if the Colonel found out, which he would have if I breathed a word to anyone in the Service, that he would do something drastic, so I just kept it to myself. I didn't mean to keep it from you. I'm…"

"Hey… Hey don't apologize," Sam interrupted as he cupped her cheek and wiped away a tear. "I understand why it isn't something that you want to advertise to the world, but… Umm… Did you want to talk about all of it now?"

Toni bit her bottom lip then shook her head. "No I… I didn't even mean to bring it up or blurt it out like that, I just… I don't know I guess I was just trying…"

"To shut me up?" Dean finished with a soft chuckle. Toni turned to face him and just shrugged as her cheeks turned a bright shad of pink. "Hey don't feel embarrassed, I was being a jackass and more than deserved to be put in my place, okay? Seriously from where I stand we're good."

"Okay," Toni agreed in a small, almost inaudible voice.

Dean gently removed the now empty glass from Toni's white knuckle grasp and then got up to take it to the sink saying, "Alright I'm gonna head out on a supply run and then we hit the road for the Emerald City, so be packed and ready Sam."

"But Dean…" Sam started in protest. Once he had turned to look at his brother, Dean gave him a pointed look and then jutted his chin in Toni's direction.

It took a couple of seconds, but once Sam caught on to his brother's reasoning, Sam blushed slightly then said, "Alright… Yeah that sounds like a good plan… I'll be ready."

When Toni heard the quiet thud of the door closing, she laughed self-consciously then asked, "Did Dean really just make himself scarce so that you could have the chance of getting lucky?"

Sam hugged Toni against his chest then laughed as he replied, "Yeah he did… But hey, stranger things have happened, right?"

"True," Toni replied with her cheek against Sam's heart. "But…" She started slowly as she crawled into Sam's lap. She moved until she was tucked into his side with her legs resting over his lap. As she snuggled in even closer into his side she meekly asked, "But… Could you just hold me for a bit and then I'll help you get everything packed that you'll need?"

Sam kissed the top of her head then answered, "Sounds perfect to me."


	39. When You Feel All Alone

Toni was surprised to find herself settling in comfortably and so easily at the hunting cabin on her own. After the Winchester brothers had taken on the Amazons in Seattle, Sam and Dean had stayed out on the road going from job to job while Toni manned the phones and helped to do research from where she was in Montana. At first she had stay at the cabin because she was still working through her emotions pertaining to her revelations about the events following William's death, but then she realized that without the guys being around full time that the cabin felt less claustrophobic and she really didn't mind staying behind to help on the research front. She even found that she was calling her dad less often because she was actually able to get lost in her own thoughts in this environment.

That was until Sam called to tell her about a demon that he and Dean had exorcised in the past that was back and up to its old tricks in Idaho. Although Toni still wasn't looking forward to going toe to toe with a demon anytime soon she had extended a sincere offer to come out and join the brothers on the hunt. Much to her dismay Sam had rejected the idea almost as soon as the words were out of Toni's mouth, but she managed to keep her relief hidden from her boyfriend because she didn't want to appear weak to either Winchester for any reason.

" _It isn't that I wouldn't love for you to help us Toni… Or to see you in person, but that's not the only thing going on here right now,"_ Sam explained sounding tired and withdrawn.

Toni wasn't sure how she should react to Sam's statement. On the one hand she was a bit outraged that Sam and Dean could be dealing with something more sinister than a serial killer demon and yet Sam didn't seem to think that she could be of any help to stop it. On the other hand maybe he meant that they didn't require her help there, but that Sam had found another job for her to do while the Winchesters took out the demon, so she couldn't help but feel mildly relieved at that prospect.

With the latter in the forefront of her thoughts Toni almost cautiously asked, "Oh yeah Sam? What other stuff is going on right now that I don't know about?"

" _Well… First…"_ Sam stopped to laugh self-consciously.

Toni didn't know if she should be angry, hurt or worried about Sam's sudden fit of laughter, but she still went with her gut and scolded him saying, "Alight. So what's so funny?"

" _Sorry… Sorry…"_ Sam recanted trying to calm himself down enough to try to explain. _"Sorry… I was going to say 'First you have to promise not to get too worried about me', but then I realized that that's exactly what you would do the second I said it, so that fact that I still wanted to say it just seemed stupidly funny to me."_

"Okay, so instead of worrying me, you're just trying to piss me off by stalling and laughing at some lame ass joke that makes no sense to me?" Toni said without much heat in her tone even though she did feel her impatience mounting.

Sam swallowed audibly and made sure to use a careful voice as he said, _"You're right… This really isn't all that funny, I guess that I'm just a little nervous is all…"_

"Nervous about what?" Toni cut-in inadvertently due to her concern. When she realized that she was unconsciously rushing Sam through his explanation and that she would have been beyond pissed off if he had tried to do the same thing to her, Toni quickly added, "I'm sorry… You were saying?"

" _It's okay Toni. I guess I just don't really know how to put it into words exactly… Well at least not in a way that won't sound too disturbing or melodramatic… I'm not actually trying to stall or anything…"_ Sam then took in a deep breath and pushed it out through his lips as a loud exhale. _"Okay so I know that you've been worried about my insomnia, but have been trying not to say anything much about it…"_

They both let out a nervous laugh because despite her better judgment Toni had been asking Sam about how he had been sleeping at night more than once every conversation that they had had over the phone. Since Sam hadn't called her out on it, Toni thought that her concern had gone unnoticed, but now she knew better. Sam had heard her concern, but he had been willing to play along to keep her from feeling too overprotective.

" _Well I don't really anticipate it getting any better because Lucifer is getting harder and harder for me to ignore."_

Toni took in a deep breath and held it to make sure that she would at least sound calm when she asked, "Are you having hallucinations again or are you just having really vivid nightmares? Or…? God… Is it something new?"

" _Hallucinations now on top of the nightmares that I've been having since we were last together,"_ Sam answered honestly and without skipping a beat.

Toni had to pull her phone away from her face when she felt her resolve break momentarily so that she could hide her sob from Sam. He had finally admitted what she had instinctively already known. The fact that she had become so in tuned with Sam's wellbeing still gave her pause, but she no longer feared it like she had in the past. Now she almost embraced it because it meant that they truly were stronger as a couple and could see each other as a part of a team and could lean on each other for support when it was needed.

When she thought that she could talk with a steady voice, Toni croaked out, "How long have you been having them?"

They both cringed slightly at the strain in her voice, but Sam chose not to acknowledge it because he was so absolutely touched by her concern (even if she was trying to hide just how much she truly did worry about him). _"They just started happening again recently and I can't seem to shake him off. I really don't know why this is happening right now."_

"Even with the hand scar trick?" Toni asked in a quiet, unsure tone.

" _That works most of the time, but when it doesn't… Well it really doesn't."_

"Shit… Sam…I am so sorry to hear that. I wish there was something more that I could do to help you with all of this."

Sam smiled at the change in Toni's tone because she now sounded genuinely calm instead of the forced even tone she had been using before that statement. _"Still nothing for you to apologize about. We all know that Cas had warned Dean that it could get ugly if they put my soul back after it was stuck in hell for a year with Lucifer and Michael torturing it."_

"Castiel… Right. Don't get me started about him. I still haven't found anything that would be good to use to inflict an enormous amount of pain on an angel, so he's lucky that he's dead because I WILL find something… Someday… Because I'm SO not cool with angels fucking around with anyone that I love like he did. Soldiers hurt, maim or kill for the greater good of the cause, but personal vendettas are set aside… They cannot and should never, ever cloud a soldier's judgment. If it does then you're just a bully who uses their station as an excuse to be an enormous dick… And then for him to be the one… Especially after his warning…"

Toni was hyperventilating slightly by the end of her statement so Sam remained silent while she attempted to catch her breath and regain her composure. Once Sam could tell that Toni had calmed down enough to listen to some reason he replied in a gentle, no scolding-tone (because even though he understood his girlfriend's anger, he still couldn't allow himself to indulge in it in anyway right now), _"Yeah I know that he did warn us and well… I'm pretty sure that a slow painful death was punishment enough for him, I also know helped Dean out and were by my side when I was down and out, but you didn't see…_ (Sam paused wondering if saying the angel's name would spark Toni's anger with a renewed vigor or not) _Him… It wasn't Cas at the end… Well not really… Hell I don't even think it was Cas that broke the dam in my head. Personally I think he was totally possessed by the Leviathans by then…"_

Sam fell silent then because Toni had fallen eerily quiet on the other end of the line. He couldn't even hear her breathing during that explanation. For her own part Toni didn't mind getting completely lost in her own thoughts before she replied to her boyfriend's explanation.

"So…" She started sounding slightly distracted. "It was the Leviathans that used Castiel's memories to incapacitate you? It was actually the Purgatory monsters that hurt you to take you out of the game…? Cas…? The angel… Well his vessel was just the conduit that allowed them to do all of that? Angels…? They…? They still do stuff humans can't completely understand in the name of good? And they still solely work to further God's will? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Despite Toni's faraway tone Sam still knew that he should reassure Toni that she was right because Tom (Toni's father) had told Sam why he considered his daughter to be the 'Angel' of the McNamara family even though he had never spelled it out so plainly for his offspring. Sam thought that she more than deserved the reassurance right now to try to keep her from becoming completely disillusioned with God's heavenly hosts when she and her family had placed so much faith in them before everything that happened with Castiel and the claiming of the souls from Purgatory.

" _Yeah I do believe all of that. After Castiel opened up the gate to Purgatory he changed and went from threatening to do things to keep us on the path he knew we needed to be on to actually following through on things that were worse than the stuff he had previously told us that he would do. I don't know Toni… And maybe I'm wearing my rose colored glasses here, but Cas was our friend and most unyielding supporter during the opening of the Seals, right? I know I wasn't as close to him as he was to my brother, but I don't think that he was faking it when he said that he would go to any lengths to save our planet from Lucifer and then Raphael's grasp and that it was trusting Crowley that was his undoing…"_

"Damn it!" Toni cursed out as Sam started to lose some of his earlier gusto.

" _Toni?"_ Sam questioned quietly. He wasn't sure what she had actually been cursing but Sam was willing to hear her out even if he wouldn't be inclined to agree with her reasoning.

"Damn it Winchester!" She tried again with a mildly humorous tone. "Why don't you just let me hate the guy that did his to you? Why do you have to go and be all reasonable to explain how these new creatures could have manipulated the situation to make it as shitty as it is now?"

Although Toni couldn't see it, Sam's lips spread into a satisfied smirk as he replied almost smugly, _"Well I did work on a project with a gir… Woman my freshman year at Stanford who almost beat into me that I had to look at all of the angles surrounding any given situation before attempting to even think that I might be able to draw any educated conclusions. She was quite adamant that I not have tunnel vision on_ _ **ANY**_ _situations in my life."_

"Beat?" Toni almost questioned with a soft breathy laugh. "I'm fairly certain that any bruises that I've been able to put on your body did not come from any beatings Mister Winchester…" She allowed Sam to revel in some of the memories of the two of them being intimate while they were at school together for a brief moment. When she heard his breath hitch in a similar fashion that she could draw out only when they were spending time together in California (or a room where they didn't think that they would be interrupted for some time), Toni's tone turned disturbingly serious as she added, "But I do concede that your premise holds more than some validity to it. I have a ton of angel and psychological research back at home so I'm thinking that it might be beneficial for me to look into all of that again… Unless you don't think that it would be?"

Toni had managed to make the end of her statement sound like a question causing Sam to sputter out, _"Right… Right… Yeah anything that you can possibly find to help me with the Lucifer situation wouldn't be unappreciated and… Umm…"_ Sam paused because he wasn't used to using vulgar sexual terms with a woman, let alone one that he had genuine feelings for, even if Toni had begged him to use them not only when they were at school together and laid in each other's arms but even more recently when they had some private time to say and do anything that they desired together. Toni had still been apt to use harsh terms during their love-making so Sam gave it his best effort to match her terminology by offering, _"I would… Umm… Go… Uhh… Godownonyou for hours if you could find something that could help me evade Lucifer on a more permanent basis."_

"Sammmm…" Toni responded breathlessly over Sam's hallucination of Lucifer replying, _"Sammy! Such language to the woman to whom you've announced your undying love… Well actually to the whore… Okay maybe I owe you congratulations instead."_

"Sam I might have to hold you to that promise in the future, but for right now I think that I'll just make my way back to Wisconsin to go over everything again," Toni added in a much more even tone. "But don't think that I won't want to collect when we get some time completely alone because… Well we both can be screamers."

" _Oh I won't,"_ Sam answered knowing Toni's stringent rule of reciprocity and the fact that her pleasure would only lead to a more vigorous offering from his girlfriend to draw out his arousal. _"Believe me, I wouldn't deny anyone THAT pleasure if I can help it."_

Toni couldn't be certain of Sam's ultimate meaning behind his words so she just answer, once again through bated breath, "Good. Then I'll call you when I get back to Madison. Stay safe Sam because I swear that we will figure this out. I promise you that we can and will."

                                                                                      *********************************************************

It didn't take long after Toni had returned to the townhouse for the Colonel to notice that his daughter seemed to be absolutely set on a mission and was single-mindedly set on accomplishing it above anything else. After two days of just getting grunts in response to his questions in regards to his concerns of Toni being hungry or what Toni might want for their up-coming meal, Tom finally relented and just started bringing his daughter whatever meal that he had prepared at that time of day. Toni seemed to be willing to eat whatever her father put in front of her so neither of them raised any objections when Toni chose to just stay in her room to continue her research.

After almost a week of fretting over Toni's near obsession with finding out every detail that she could about angels and how they could affect a human soul, Tom had finally decided to seek some refuge with Yvette at her townhouse. He particularly enjoyed the fact that his new 'lady friend' was the type of psychic that could sense what a person was thinking by the emotions that they emitted so he didn't have to try to put his feelings into words when it came to letting Yvette know how he was feeling about his daughter at the moment. Instead Tom could just find himself on Yvette's doorstep while projecting all of the concern he couldn't lavish on Toni when she was in problem-solving mode and Yvette would just wrap him in her loving embrace and tell him that they would figure something out. Yvette knew from the beginning of their relationship that using the term "everything will be okay" wouldn't work with either McNamara because of their past heartache, but she still always felt that she was there to help to guide both of them so that she could help both of the McNamara's to truly be okay… If either of them would let her… And even if they couldn't she would still strive to guide each of them towards the right direction to find their proper path.

Yvette woke up with a start after a particularly vivid dream causing Tom to instinctively sit up on the bed with her and to wrap an arm around her shoulder in a sleepy show of comfort. Even as his arms wrapped around her body, the Colonel remained ignorant to the reason of why he was comforting his bed-mate as he whispered, "Shh… Shh… It's okay Sweetheart… There's nothing to be afraid of… I'm right here to protect you. Everything is going to be alright."

"I know," Yvette answered as she easily relaxed in Tom's arms and against his chest. "Really I do believe that Tom, but this premonition… It wasn't about me or you…" Toni's dad didn't question Yvette's use of the term 'premonitions' because after all of the time they had spent together the Colonel had easily accepted that his new girlfriend had a gift that could delve into things that were way beyond his comprehension. "Tom I'm okay, but I think… No! I feel that you need to be with Toni right now and not me, so pull on your robe and go to your daughter… Now!"

Tom did just as Yvette had instructed without much thought because since he had been with this Army widow, his understanding of his daughter's emotional needs had grown beyond anything they had been able to find with any of their counselors. Toni had been the first one to believe that Yvette actually possessed true psychic gifts, but Tom had been slower to get on board with trusting Yvette's intuition. He now knew that it was a natural reluctance that he had originally felt but that he was willing to overlook it because her visions had to do with his only surviving off-spring that was involved. Tom understood about having a 'gut-instinct' but he wasn't quite ready to write it off her feelings as a psychic gift like his daughter had been able to on so many occasions. But now he rushed down the tree lined trail between Yvette's backdoor and his own to find his daughter because he knew that Yvette had seen a vision that involved Toni and his daughter really needed her father right now to be strong for her.

"Shh… Shh… Vee it's alright… No…" Tom heard Toni saying in a pleading voice as he approached his daughter silently. Toni's breath hitched slightly when she felt her dad's hand clamp down on her shoulder but she didn't make any moves to turn and look at him. "It isn't anywhere close to being your fault Vanessa, so please don't do that to yourself, okay? Joe loves you and Stephanie more than anything on this planet so I'm sure he's… Oh he can't… I mean he isn't able…? Well I can get there in just a few hours if you think that you can sit tight until then… You think you can? Perfect. I'll get out there to you as soon as I can, okay? Okay… Good… No it's fine Vee… I'll see you soon."

After Toni terminated her call, she turned in her father's arms to hug his torso. "I'm okay dad," she announced against his chest. Toni then pushed out of her embrace and placed a soft hand on her dad's cheek saying. "I'm sorry that you were so worried, but whatever Yvette saw, it isn't me that needs the comfort and support right now." When the Colonel's eyebrows furrowed in silent question, Toni let out a quick laugh before clarifying, "It's the middle of the night and you were supposed to be spending the night with her again… Why else would you have rushed over here in your robe?"

"I've said it once and I'll say it again," her dad replied as he pulled her against his chest once again. "You are just too smart Angel. But I would be inclined to disagree with you because I know you've been dealing with something pretty serious since you got home and I can only assume that it has to do with Sam, so you really do need my support right now too Angel."

Toni wrapped her harms even tighter around her dad's waist as she said, "I'm sorry Colonel, I didn't mean to shut you out but I didn't really know how to explain it all to you… But I swear to you Dad that I've pretty much got all of that well in hand and I really need to go to Vanessa to help her right now."

This time it was Tom's turn to hold his daughter's face to help them maintain eye contact. He wanted to press the Sam issue with her, but he didn't because he could see the raw fear in her eyes when she had said her best friend's name so he instead asked, "What's happening with Vanessa right now?"

"I don't really know to be completely honest," Toni answered while leading her dad by the hand up to her room so that she could start to prepare for her trip to Portland. "It all sounded really weird but then again she was telling me the story through choking sobs, so I don't think I've actually heard all of the details just yet."

Tom found a seat in front of Toni's desk while she pulled out a duffle bag from the closet and started packing it during her explanation, "Oh Angel… She seems like such a lovely person, who would dare to do anything to anything to harm her?"

Toni paused to face her father over her shoulder then she turned back to her previous task replying, "No one… Well not that I know of… Well it's not really like that, but from what I could gather, she bought one of her co-worker's an antique fountain pen as a thank you for taking on so much of her work during her maternity leave and he… And believe me, I know this sounds nuts but… Well he seems to have used it to commit suicide…" The Colonel quickly wrapped Toni into another hug and she let him press her back against his chest. "That's the weirdest part about it all Dad… I mean who would use a pen to kill themselves?"

"I don't know," he answered as he turned his daughter around to face him. "But one thing I'm sure of is that if anyone could answer that question that it's you Angel."

A dark blush quickly spread across Toni's cheeks causing her to duck her head as she quietly whined, "Dad…"

"Okay you or the Winchesters," he teased causing his daughter to laugh and one again make eye contact with him. "So what can I do to help you Toni?"

"Would you…?" She started hesitantly. "Would you mind going on-line and booking me the earliest possible flight you can to Portland?" As Toni had predicted her father's eyebrows raised in surprise causing her to chuckle softly before she added, "I know it's not my usual mode of transportation, but Joe's out of town at a conference so Vanessa needs me to get there as soon as humanly possible. Whatever it is… Well once I get Vanessa settled, I can just buy whatever supplies I'll need while I'm there so that I can put it down."

Her dad gave Toni a sad smile over his shoulder before he turned back to her computer and asked, "Will two hours be enough for you to get to the airport?"

Toni stopped in the middle of closing the zipper on her bag to run over and throw her arms around her dad's neck exclaiming, "More than enough! Thanks dad. I love you so much and still consider myself blessed to have you in my life. I couldn't do this without you."

The Colonel raised a hand to pat his daughter's forearm as he hoarsely replied, "I love you too Angel. Be safe on your travels and be sure to keep me in the loop."

                                                                             *********************************************************************

Toni backed away from the sleeping toddler and mother slowly then exited the room as quietly as she could. Vanessa had been able to take an extended leave of absence from her two jobs and spent most of her time in bed due to her deep depression. She was still blaming herself for her colleague's death despite everyone's adamant protests to the contrary. Because of this Toni ended up becoming the nanny, house keeper, chef and care-giver of the household as soon as she got to Portland and somehow that felt completely natural to her.

After putting away a couple of the toys that Stephanie had been playing with in the living room, Toni tried to take a mental stock of everything that she thought that she could accomplish while mother and child napped. She had been able to get at least a week's worth of groceries bought the day before, the laundry was in the dryer and it was too early to call Joe to give him his daily updates about his family. Vanessa's husband had tried to book a flight home, but for some reason he wasn't able to find any, so Toni told him to stay at the conference because she was more than happy to stay with Vanessa and Stephanie for as long as she was needed there. Despite Joe agreeing with Toni's logic, he still kept trying to find a flight out but he let Toni believe that he was concentrating on his work.

From her spot beside the coffee table, Toni's eyes landed on Vanessa's car keys and she shrugged as she said out loud to herself, "Well the Dance Studio should be open right now and having those numbers most likely would help to ease her mind…"

Even before she was finished reasoning with herself aloud, Toni was already scooping up the keys into her hand. At the door she stopped and mentally kicked herself for almost getting out the door without leaving Vanessa a note in regards to her whereabouts. She then quickly turned around to write a quick note and left it where she had found her friend's keys, although she was hoping to get back to the house long before Vanessa or Stephanie woke up.

Vanessa had been doing a side project of directing a play at the studio and had mentioned more than once that she really needed to call the cast's parents to let them know that rehearsals would be postponed for a while. Toni had hoped to get out to the studio sooner than later after speaking to the owner of the establishment about picking up the necessary documents, but somehow over the last couple of days the daylight hours had just flown by and she had missed her opportunity to leave the house. Thankfully the studio owner sympathized with her predicament and offered Toni nothing but patient understanding ever time that she called to apologize for not being able to make it in that day.

Since Vanessa's boss had had more than enough time to compile all of the information together, Toni was hoping that she could just pick up the package and get back to the Stevenson household straight away. At least she did up until the moment that Toni caught a glimpse of the red and blue lights reflecting off the building's siding as she made her final approach. He heart sank slightly when she saw a police officer leaving the studio with a grim look on his face and she almost wanted to turn around and just head back to Vanessa's side.

Toni waited in her car until the police cruiser drove away because no matter what had happened there, she didn't want to let herself get involved in any way. Her only focus right now was on her friend's well being and if something supernatural was wreaking havoc in this town then someone else would have to take care of it. She paused for a brief moment in front of the door with yellow police tape across it, but just shook her head to remind herself of her earlier resolve.

"Miss? Can I help you with something?" A soft, sad sounding woman's voice asked from somewhere just behind Toni.

It took a moment for Toni to recognize Vanessa's boss' voice because of the raw emotion that changed its timber but she made sure to keep a soft smile on her face as she replied, "I believe that you definitely can." Toni took a step forward and extended her hand. "You must be Kelly… I'm Toni, Vanessa Stevenson's friend."

"Oh! Toni… Right… Right… I almost forgot," the other woman said with an embarrassed blush blossoming across her cheeks.

Toni offered her a sympathetic smile then replied, "It looks like you've had a bit of excitement here so please don't apologize."

"Excitement…?" Kelly stated sounding very distracted. "Right… Anyway… If you'll follow me I'll get you those numbers you asked for right away."

Toni just nodded in response and then trailed behind the woman who was visibly distraught. She desperately wanted to ask what had happened behind that door to see if there was some way that she could help, but she managed not to give in to her curiosity. Vanessa was the only person she was in town to console, this stranger would undoubtedly have friends and family that she could turn to for support. Toni felt awful for thinking such a thing, but she had to do everything she could to keep her priorities in check right now.

"So here's the contact information for the cast," Kelly explained as she passed Toni a large manila envelope. "Although we're already putting the word out that the studio will be closed for at least a week because of… our latest tragedy."

"Oh," Toni exclaimed quietly in mild surprise. "Okay well… I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this right now."

Kelly smiled softly then said, "Thanks for the sentiment… Although I don't think there's ever a good time to deal with something like this. Please do send Vanessa my best wishes. We all miss seeing her here but we understand why she can't be here. Tell her to take her time getting back to us."

"I will," Toni promised before she turned and left the office.

Unfortunately the only route out of the building took Toni past the crime scene she had been trying to ignore. This time she actually did reach out to turn the knob on the door but jumped back in surprise when the door opened before she could touch it. Toni nearly fell over but caught herself against the wall opposite the door and managed to stay on her feet.

"I'm sorry I startled you," Toni heard as she caught her breath. "Toe…"

"Agent," she interrupted Sam quickly. "No need to apologize, you're just trying to go about and do your job properly."

Toni gave Sam a look that he instantly understood that she had been so formal because she was trying to help him from blowing his cover. They then walked silently side by side and exited out the door at the end of the hall. As they walked down the front stairs, Toni quickly reached out and squeezed Sam's arm because she couldn't help herself from trying to make any type of physical connection with him. He looked down at her out of the corner of his eye and gave her a small smile of appreciation.

At the side of Vanessa's car Toni stopped and turned to face Sam and ask, "So what brings you to town Agent…?"

"Hornsby," Sam answered when Toni quirked a questioning eyebrow at him. "One of the dancers that trained at this studio sort of danced her feet off…"

Toni closed her gaping mouth then asked, "Off? Like literally danced them off her legs?"

"Yeah, exactly that. We're leaning towards it being some sort of cursed object or a curse put on the dancer somehow."

"Shit," Toni cursed under her breath.

Sam gently turned her face so that he could make eye contact with Toni once again. "And may I inquire as to why you've found yourself at this crime scene today?"

"What?" Toni questioned absentmindedly because she was still lost in her own thoughts. After a moment she actually heard Sam's question and she couldn't help but laugh self-consciously. "Sorry what I meant to say was that Vanessa works here part time. She asked me to come down here to pick up a couple of things for her. I didn't know that anything weird had happened here until I saw a police officer who must have stopped by to do some follow ups."

"Vanessa works here too?" Sam asked with a thoughtful scowl on his face.

Toni mirrored his expression as she said, "Yeah… So? What difference does that make?"

Sam couldn't miss the heat in her tone even if he tried and quickly apologized saying, "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I guess I was just thinking out loud."

"I know you were Sam, but… Well I get a little defensive when it comes to anyone saying anything negative about my friends."

Sam squeezed her forearm where it rested, crossed over her chest. "I know you do Toni. So how is she holding up right now?"

Toni shrugged then leaned against the car door answering, "She's a bit of a mess. She still blames herself for his death and I've sort of run out of ways to convince her that she's totally wrong. I don't know, but Joe's mentioned that her doctor thinks that it could also be some sort of delayed post-partum or something as well. She seems to be doing a little bit better now that I've finally been able to get her to eat, take her medications and to get a least some sleep every day." She paused there and reached up to hold Sam's cheek observing, "Speaking of… You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I swear it isn't for lack of trying," he replied placing his hand over hers on his face. "But you have enough on your plate with Vanessa and Stephanie right now so you don't need to be worrying about me too."

"You know that isn't going to happen." Toni quickly checked around them to make sure no one was watching them. When she felt confident that there were no prying eyes she stood up on her tip toes to give Sam a quick kiss. "And that being said, I should probably be getting back to the two of them… But… I am just a phone call away if you need me for any reason, okay?"

Sam leaned down to kiss his girlfriend and both of them allowed his embrace to linger for longer than they should have allowed. "Okay… Give Vanessa my best."

"I will. Good luck with whatever the hell is stirring up shit here right now."

Dean caught the tail end of Sam's interaction with the petite brunette and almost called out to his brother to playfully tease him. Instead he waited until the female drove away in a brand new silver Chevrolet Equinox before he approached his younger sibling saying, "Sammy… Sammy… Sammy… Sammy… Making out with strangers in the parking lot… I guess Lucifer must really be messing with your head to make you do something so stupid, especially when you have a girlfriend that knows more than one way to cut your nuts off in your sleep without waking you up."

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes replying, "Dean that was Toni that just drove off. She's in town visiting her friend Vanessa… Remember? That was Vanessa car that she was driving."

Dean blushed slightly then said, "Right… Yeah I knew that… So… I guess next stop is the police station?"

                                                                      *****************************************************************

"Yeah she did buy the pen at 'Out with the Old Antique Shoppe'", Toni said into her phone as she started unloading the dishwasher. "Why do you ask?"

" _Well…"_ Sam started slowly because he really didn't want to have to tell her this information right now. If he could of done so with a clear conscience he would have kept it from Toni, but he knew his girlfriend well enough that he didn't want to risk her wrath if wasn't honest right now. _"That's where the ballerina bought her shoes before she ground her feet into oblivion and…"_

"Shit fuck," Toni cursed when the realization of his statement hit her. "Wait! Does that mean that there were more cursed objects floating around town?"

" _Yeah there were, but we were able to find them all and got them back into their hex boxes before too many other people could succumb to the worst kind of tragedy."_

Toni groaned softly then said, "Thank God you guys were able to get here in time. So what are you going to do with them all so they can't hurt anyone else?"

" _Originally we were going to let the store owner get rid of them, but after our little run in with a couple of Leviathans Dean and I decided that it might be best if we just take care of them ourselves."_

"Leviathans?" Toni asked not even trying to hide her disbelief that this job had gotten so complicated. "Holy shitballs Sam! Are you okay…? Is Dean alright?"

" _We're both a little bruised up, but neither of us are missing any limbs, so yeah I guess that means that we'll be fine. So… Dean and I are heading out now to catch up with Frank to see what he's been able to dig up about why Dick's crew was here and I was wondering if you might want to join us."_

"Oh… Wow… Umm…" Toni quickly slipped out the back door of the Stevenson's house to gain some privacy then continued, "As much as I would LOVE to work with both of you guys again, Joe just got home and I think that he's more than a little overwhelmed with Vee's condition so I was kind of planning on staying here for at least a few more days. You know…? Just to make sure that everything here is comfortable and in place for all of them before I leave. I'm really sorry that I can't join you."

" _Hey no problem. I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and that I wanted to spend some time with you."_

"Damn it Sam! Quit being so fucking sweet and understanding," Toni scolded Sam with a soft chuckle. "But seriously… Thank you for the offer. Hopefully I can catch up with you again real soon. I love you and be safe!"

" _Feelings are more than mutual. Love you too."_


	40. And the World Has Turned Its Back on You

" _Good afternoon. May I please speak with Antonia McNamara?"_

Tom froze in his spot by the coffee machine in his kitchen as he absentmindedly asked, "Pardon?"

" _This is the number of the home of Antonia McNamara, is it not?"_

"Yes," Tom replied quickly, defensively. After a swift shake of his head the Colonel regained most of his composure and more somberly replied, "Yes this is the home of Toni… Antonia McNamara. Please just give me a moment while I retrieve her to answer the phone for you."

Toni's dad moved slowly towards the TV room where his daughter was currently situated on the couch behind her laptop. He hesitated to interrupt his daughter because she had finally taken her dad's advice and was trying to find a hunt that she could take care of on her own in order to expel some of the excess energy coursing through her veins. After getting back from Portland Toni had become once again laser focused on her research about souls and psychology and seemed to have fallen into a deep depression because she hadn't come up with anything new or helpful, so her dad suggested researching a new topic for a while in the hopes that it would help her to gain a new level of clarity in order to help with her more pressing predicament.

"Antonia? The phone's for you," he announced sounding somewhat unsure as he took a couple of steps into the living room.

Toni turned to face her dad with a questioning scowl on her face causing him to laugh heartily and say, "Sorry he asked for 'Antonia McNamara'… Naturally I assumed that you would know who it was and what it was about so I didn't ask him to elaborate about why he was calling."

Without taking her eyes off of her father, and not changing the expression on her face in any way, Toni reached out to retrieve the phone to her left and said suspiciously into its microphone, "This is Antonia McNamara… How may I assist you?"

" _Miss McNamara it is a relief to finally get a hold of you. I'm Dr. Kadinsky and I have a Mister Sam Smith here under my care at the Northern Indiana State Hospital for…"_

"Sam?" Toni breathed out over part of the doctor's statement. When she realized that the line had gone deathly quiet after her inadvertent interruption Toni added in an embarrassed tone, "I'm sorry Doctor, you were saying?"

Dr. Kadinsky cleared his throat then continued with the same professional tone that Toni had already heard him use, _"Right… As I was saying, I have Sam Smith in my care as a result of a non-fatal car accident and he has you listed as one of his few emergency contacts…"_

"Right… Of course," Toni replied when the other man started to trail off. _SHIT! Shit! But where the fuck is Dean? What the hell were the two of them working on that landed Sam in the hospital and left Dean MIA?_ She questioned frantically in her mind.

" _Alright, so I have been trying to get a hold of Mister Smith's brother but he hasn't been answering his phone or any of my voicemails so I've been forced to try some of my patient's other contacts now that we are prepared to admit him,"_ the doctor explained with an eerily calm, professional tone that Toni had grown used to hearing from doctors all over the country. _"Unfortunately Mister Smith doesn't seem to have any of his insurance information with him and since you are one of his only emergency contacts I assumed that you would have this information so that I can finish his paperwork tonight and allow me and my staff to give him the best care we can."_

"Insurance?" Toni questioned absentmindedly before shaking her head to remind herself that she really needed to do anything she could to keep herself from falling apart right now. "I… I meant yes I do have Sam's insurance information here somewhere. May I ask what else happened to him to land him in your extended care?"

" _From what I understand Sam came into the hospital by ambulance with some minor lacerations and a broken rib after he was struck by a car, but…"_ the doctor swallowed thickly before he continued which just helped to make Toni feel more anxious. _"But that isn't why he has requested to remain under my care."_

Toni's hands stilled while rummaging through one of her accordion files in the living room while she asked, "Why has he requested to remain under your care? What department are you the head of Dr. Kadinsky?"

" _Psychiatry,"_ he replied simply. _"Mister Smith and I feel that it would be beneficial for him to remain under monitored care until he has been able to learn how to deal with the worst of his episodes more effectively."_

They each remained silent for a couple of beats until Toni let out a quiet and frustrated, "Fuck me raw."

" _I beg your pardon?"_ The doctor questioned incredulously.

"Oh shit… I… I mean I'm so sorry Doctor, it's… It's just… Well if Sam has finally agreed to stay with you for an undetermined amount of time then things are even worse than I imagined," Toni hastily explained. "But I swear to you that I'm sure that I have the information that you need somewhere around here. Would…? Umm… Would it be alright if I just brought it to you for your records? Would you be able to start treating him before I can get it all to you?"

The doctor let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh before replying, _"Of course that would be fine. With the severity of his condition it would be beyond negligent for me not to continue the treatments we have already started. And thank you for your assistance Miss McNamara."_

"It's honestly no problem. If there is anything else I can do to help you in the meantime, please don't hesitate to call."

" _I'll be sure to do that."_

As Toni replaced the receiver on its base, her dad found a seat to her right and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her against his side. "It'll be okay Dad. He's finally getting some professional help, so at the very least we know that he's safe."

Her dad couldn't help but chuckle because he had been trying to figure out what he could say to try to comfort his daughter in her time of need, but she had effectively beaten him to the punch and was actually trying to comfort him. He placed a soft kiss on her temple and then replied, "That is very true Angel. May I inquire as to where he is being treated right now?"

Toni relaxed against her dad's side saying, "Northern Indiana State Hospital. I just have to get a few things together and then I'll be ready to hit the road and met up with him."

The Colonel followed his daughter into her bedroom during her explanation. He had easily grown used to her fast paced fashion of relaying information to him while she started to pack and he no longer struggled to keep up with her. Without waiting for Toni's prompts, Tom sat down at Toni's desk and started working on her laptop to try to find a suitable place for his daughter to stay while she was checking up on Sam.

"Other than booking you a room, is there anything else that I can do to help you right now Angel?" Tom asked without taking his eyes off the computer's screen.

Neither McNamara took offense to the lack of eye contact between them during their conversation because they were both content to remain focused solely on their tasks. Toni was almost finished packing and waited until she was pretty much done to answer her father.

"Actually there is one other thing I'd really like to ask you to do Dad," Toni said from her spot by her dad's side. "The doctor said that he hasn't been able to get a hold of Dean and since I'm going to be driving and all…"

"I'll let Dean know that you're on your way to Sam's side he moment I get a hold of him… And then I'll call you to confirm it all."

                                                                              *************************************************************

"If you'll follow me," Toni heard as she raised her hand to knock on Dr. Kadinsky's door. When she saw the door opening, Toni took a large step back and then pressed her back against the opposite wall.

After the balding doctor turned to continue down the hallway without noticing her presence, Toni took notice of the male trailing behind him and nearly shrieked as she jumped and threw her arms around the new comer's neck. "Dean! You're actually here in the flesh! Thank God… You have no idea how relieved I am to finally see you!"

Dean leaned out of Toni's embrace and honestly tried his best but failed to hide his concern as he quietly replied, "Hey Toni… Are you…?"

"Ms. McNamara, so good to see you again," Dr. Kadinsky stated over the rest of Dean's meek reply. He appeared to remain completely oblivious to what was happening between the male and female in front of him before he smiled and added, "If you need it, I would be more than happy to give you a moment alone with your fiancé's brother…"

It took a couple of breaths for the doctor's offer to register in Toni's brain and when it finally did she chuckled replying, "No… But thank you for the offer Doctor… Dean is probably more than anxious to check in on his brother right now, so… I'll… I mean if you don't mind sir, I'll just wait here for you after you've showed Dean to Sam's room."

The doctor thankfully understood what Toni meant and didn't require her to go into any further explanation before he turned to lead Dean down the hallway after giving her a curt nod in response. Dean remained cemented in his spot and couldn't help himself from taking Toni's hand in his while quietly asking, "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"No," Toni replied shaking her head and avoided making direct eye contact with either of the other males. "No, you should… No… I'm sure. Once you see him Dean, you'll understand why… I… I'll just wait here for you."

Dean gave her a sympathetic smile but before he could attempt to reply Dr. Kadinsky said, "Of course… Why don't you take a seat in my office Ms. McNamara? I should be able to get back to you shortly."

Toni nodded then hurried through the open office door without sparing a glance at the questioning look that Dean was giving her. After giving the doctor the information that he required in order to complete Sam's admission forms, Toni had made sure to spend some time with the doctor going over the details of Sam's condition (sans any mention of the possible supernatural reasons for his psychosis) and the various remedies he was going to employ in an attempt to treat him. The research that Toni had completed had made her knowledgeable enough to pass herself off as a psychology major and the doctor was more than happy to indulge the 'university student'. Toni then made it part of her visits with Sam to stop by the doctor's office in order to go over the changes (or lack thereof) in Sam's condition over the last couple of days.

" _ **Alright now that we have all of the paperwork taken care of and out of the way, would you like to head up to the ward for a visit with your fiancé Ms. McNamara?" Dr. Kadinsky asked as he pushed his chair back from his desk.**_

_**Toni stood up and smoothed her hands down the front of her skirt in an effort to keep her hands from shaking too violently as she replied, "Yes sir I would really appreciate being able to see that Sam's alright with my own two eyes. Thank you."** _

" _ **Alright please just follow me," he offered holding the door to his office open for Toni to exit through en route to the locked ward.**_

_**Toni followed the doctor silently through the hallways and kept her eyes securely fixed to his back or her feet as they walked. Even though her heart was racing and it felt like it was going to jack-hammer its way out of her chest, Toni was able to maintain a calm demeanor by using a few of the breathing techniques that her mother had taught her when she was a teenager. When she moved her eyes from the doctor's back to her hands, Toni immediately noticed that they were still shaking violently so she clasped them behind her back and she once again focused her full attention on the seem that was running down the length of Dr. Kadinsky's white lab coat on his back.** _

_**Dr. Kadinsky stopped in front of a closed door and motioned to the window with his chin saying, "You're welcome to stay as long as you need to, but please don't leave the room. I'm hoping that Mister Smith's sedatives will start working soon and that he might actually get some sleep and keeping him in his room could be imperative to achieving that goal."** _

" _ **Yes sir… I understand," Toni replied in a meek tone. "I'll do my best to make sure that he at least tries to get some sleep."**_

_**The doctor turned to walk away but stopped when he saw Toni lingering nervously beside the door. He walked back over to her side and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. When Toni turned to face him, he gave her a sympathetic smile and an encouraging squeeze on her shoulder.** _

" _ **Even if you can't get him to rest, it's fine. Just enjoy your time with him as best you can. Plus you being here to support him will be a great help to him as well I'm sure."**_

_**Toni nodded then whispered, "Yes sir. Thank you."** _

_**After taking in a long, deep breath, Toni finally forced herself to turn the knob on the door. She then pushed it open at an excruciatingly slow pace. Sam watched the door with a wary eye and his expression didn't change once Toni was through the doorway. She gave him a tight smile and then turned her back on him. As she heard the handle click shut, Toni took in yet another deep breath and straightened her stance while squaring her shoulders in an effort to properly compose herself before trying to face Sam once again.** _

_**Neither Sam nor Toni said anything while her back was facing him. Sam was beyond worried that her presence was actually just another figment of his imagination that his subconscious had conjured up just like the presence of Lucifer. Toni had initially held her tongue when she entered the room because she hadn't been prepared to see Sam look so exhausted and withdrawn, but she remained silent because she wasn't sure what she should say to him right now.** _

" _ **Hey," Toni called out as she made her approach to Sam's side.**_

_**Sam watched her nervously tuck her hair behind her right ear and opened his mouth to speak when he heard,** _ **"Look at her Sammy. So this is the skanky piece of ass that you can't get off your mind. I'm pretty sure that I approve."**

_**Hearing the cheery voice of the fallen angel caused Sam to slam his eyes shut as he turned his face away from his girlfriend. Toni watched him and tears sprung up into her eyes but she tried her best to keep them at bay by taking in a few quick, deep breaths. Since Sam was keeping his eyes squeezed shut, Toni took some time to scrutinize the physical damage his body had incurred since the last time that she has seen him. She ignored the bandage on his left hand because she already knew what she would find under there and instead focused her attention on his face.** _

" _ **Sam," she sighed softly as she reached out to gently touch the abrasions that were scattered around his left eye. Sam visibly flinched so Toni quickly retracted her hand and once again tried to keep from touching him. "I know… Well I'm more than pretty sure that you're probably sick of being asked this, but how are you feeling Sam?"**_

" _ **Exhausted… Tired… Done," Sam replied in a hollow sounding tone that Toni didn't recognize.**_

_**Since Toni didn't reply Sam opened one eye to see if his hallucination of Toni had left or not. When he saw her still standing there, he looked beyond her and his eyes flew wide open to see Lucifer still seated on the desk by the door. Lucifer shrugged and smirked saying,** _ **"She seems pretty worried about you Sammy, so you might want to save some of those Mooney eyes for her… Not that I don't appreciate them."**

_**Sam then turned his attention back to Toni and sounded like he was seeing her for the first time when he asked, "Toni?"** _

" _ **Yeah Sam, I'm here," she answered just barely able to hold back her tears. She stepped forward and tentatively reached out to touch his face once again. Sam didn't try to move away from her touch this time, so Toni gently cupped his cheek and forced herself to relax slightly. "These look like they're healing pretty well." She ran her hand down his arm and picked up his bandaged hand. "Did this re-open too?"**_

_**Nodding Sam kept his eyes on his hand that Toni was cradling gently in both of her hands. "Yeah it did, but there's still no sign of any infections at all."** _

" _ **That's good to hear," Toni replied while trying to give him an encouraging smile. Toni then placed his hand back in his lap so that she could step close enough to the bed that her knees were pressed against the mattress. She gently pet Sam's hair and then leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Is Lucifer here in the room right now?" Sam nodded. "Is he somewhere behind me?"**_

_**Sam nodded once again causing Toni to wrap her arms around him in an awkward hug. She rested her cheek against Sam's head and he tried to relax in her embrace. Sam moved to wrap an arm around Toni's waist but hesitated slightly when his forearm brushed against the skin on her legs just below the hem of her skirt because he wasn't used to her dressing this way.** _

" _ **Anything you need Sam," she whispered against his hair. "You just name it and it's yours, okay? Anything."**_

" **She does know that anything she says to you that I can hear it, right?"** _ **Sam went completely rigid in Toni's arms and instinctively knew that Lucifer had moved closer to the two of them.**_ **"Good thing she's easy on the eyes since she doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb of the bunch. Plus… She IS pretty good in the sack too, right Sammy boy?"**

" _ **Toni…" Sam attempted to protest against Toni's tender touch.**_

_**She quickly interrupted him with a kiss and then she rested her forehead against his left temple whispering, "Shh… You don't have to say anything right now… Just… I'm here, okay?"** _

" _ **Okay," Sam agreed as he forced himself to relax in Toni's arms once again.**_

_**After a couple of moments of silence, Toni finally moved her face to kiss the scabs that were around Sam's eyes before moving her lips down to his cheek. Sam remained almost completely compliant, but when Toni reached his lips he didn't move to kiss her back. She didn't seem to be fazed by that at all and maneuvered herself so that she was sitting on his thighs with her legs on either side of his waist. Sam kept his eyes closed while Toni held his face gently in both of her hands and just allowed her to do whatever she wanted to do to his body.** _

_**Toni started to run the tip of her index finger over his eyebrows and Sam seemed to relax even further under her touch, but then he jumped slightly when he heard Lucifer chuckle heartily then said,** _ **"Wow I didn't know that I would be in for such a show tonight. Maybe I should go get some popcorn first."**

" _ **Ow… Sam… You're hurting me," Toni quietly stated over the fallen angel's laughter.**_

_**Sam's eyes flew open and immediately landed on his hands that were gripping Toni's thighs under her skirt with a bruising force. He then eased up on his grip and turned his eyes away from the desk to Toni's face. She could tell by the nearly wild look in his eyes that Sam was worried that he had upset her, so she shook her head with a soft smile on her face while she ran her hands up and down his arms to try to comfort her boyfriend.** _

_**To further placate Sam, Toni made sure that her voice remained soft and calm as she asked, "What did he just say to you to put you so much on edge?"** _

" _ **He…" Sam cautiously answered because he was so shocked that Toni wasn't getting explosively angry with him for hurting her without him having to offer some kind of sexual favors to make up for his faux pas. "He told me that we should wait until he's able to get some popcorn before we continue and put on a show for him."**_

" _ **Oh Sam," Toni exclaimed sympathetically as she hugged him around the neck. Sam's hands moved to her waist so that he could hold her more comfortably. Toni kissed his neck then whispered huskily, "Well if he wants a show, I say that we give him one that he'll never forget and then maybe he'll finally leave us the fuck alone."**_

_**Toni quirked a playful and challenging eyebrow at Sam just before she leaned in to reclaim his lips in a bruising kiss. Sam was reluctant to reciprocate but found it hard to resist when Toni started to pause to periodically plead, "Sam… Sammy… Please… Please Sam… Just… Please…"** _

_**The desperation in her voice completely overrode any trepidation he had felt and then Sam started ravishing Toni's mouth with a renewed vigor. He felt her smile through their kisses and his hips bucked when she moaned deeply in the back of her throat while he continued to own her mouth and run his hands over her torso.** _

" **Sammy… Sammy… Sammy…"** _ **He heard against his ear as Toni's sultry voice slowly morphed into Lucifer's mocking tone.**_

_**Hearing the fallen angel's voice caused Sam to throw his head back with enough force that it hit the wall with a very loud thud. He quickly opened his eyes and was beyond mortified to see that instead of having a beautiful, petit brunette straddling his lap, he instead had a towering male's form seated in his lap. Lucifer chucked, shrugged and then made a move as if he was going to try to kiss Sam once again, but Sam quickly twisted his body and very unceremoniously fell to the floor and off the bed.** _

_**Sam scrambled away from the bed's frame doing a clumsy crab walk until his back hit the desk chair's legs. As Lucifer stood up from the bed he slowly morphed back into looking like Toni once again. She looked like she was on the verge of tears and just remained standing at the side of the bed not trying to do or say anything to try to stop Sam's hasty retreat.** _

_**As they watched each other apprehensively when Sam suddenly felt a hand clamp down on his left shoulder. Sam's head whipped around only to see Lucifer smiling at him brightly before he cheekily stated,** _ **"It really was her all that time Sammy. I don't really like you THAT way so the kissing? Yeah that was her but you made it me in your head…"**

_**Sam quickly looked back towards Toni when he felt her gently tug his chin to try to get him to look at her. "Sam? Are you okay? Here… Let me look at your hand… You landed on it pretty hard and I'm worried that… Come on Sammy… Let me at least try to take care of you."** _

_**She knelt down beside him and moved to pick up his hand, but Sam suddenly snatched it away from her muttering, "No… No… You're not real… You aren't actually here…"** _

_**Toni stood up abruptly and backed away from Sam where he was seated with his face press to his knees. No longer able to hold them at bay, tears started streaming down Toni's cheeks. She reached out a hand towards Sam, but forced it to drop to her side before she could touch him for fear that he would once again accuse her of just being an illusion.** _

_**"I'm sorry," Toni whispered before she turned and rushed out of the room.** _

**"Oh no! Sam I think you hurt her feelings I guess that means that you're in the doghouse now,"** _**Lucifer mocked from his perch on the desk.** _

_**Toni tried to calm down and slow her tears as she made her way down the hall to get as far away as she could from Sam's room. She had the head of psychiatry of this hospital convinced that she was studying to work in the field of psychology so she didn't want him to see how deeply she was affected by Sam's current condition. But her sobs proved to be more than persistent and she soon found it hard to breathe making her wish that she could just crumple into a ball in the hallway.** _

_**In an effort to get a hold on her emotions, Toni stopped and leaned against the hallway's wall. While she was doubled over with her head almost between her knees, Toni felt someone touch her back and then she heard Dr. Kadinsky say, "Why don't you come to my office so that we can get you a drink of water?"** _

_**Toni could only nod in response and then she allowed herself to be lead back to the doctor's office. Once they arrived there she sat in the chair he offered and accepted a box of tissues as well as a glass of room temperature water with as grateful a smile that she could muster.** _

_**Once Toni was able to get her tears completely under control, the doctor gave her a sympathetic smile and said, "It's always harder on us when we see it happening to a family member. Don't take this experience as meaning that you aren't ready for this line of work. No one should be unaffected by seeing their loved on in such a state. In fact I think I would be more concerned if you weren't, alright?"** _

_**Toni blew her nose then sat up straight and very evenly replied, "Thank you for understanding Dr. Kadinsky. So? What can you tell me about the treatments you've already tried for Sam? And what do you have planned for him next if those continue to not be effective?"** _

"Hey! Watch the paint job!" Dean called out with a good-natured chuckle as he jostled Toni out of her day dream.

Toni laughed and remained in her spot on the hood of the two door, black vintage muscle car that Dean was currently driving. When he was close enough to hear Toni without her having to shout she replied, "Because I'm sure it's actual owner is going to be thrilled to see the damage that's been done to its wiring..." Dean tried not to laugh causing Toni to add, "Hey! It isn't like I'm defiling your precious Impala or anything, so…Yeah…"

Dean did laugh at the comment as he found a seat beside Toni on the hood of the car. "That's true. But then again you and I would be having more than just mere words if I caught you doing anything that could potentially harm my Baby."

Toni threw her head back and issued a hearty laugh. She was still giggling softly when she turned to look at Dean. "What?" She asked through another chuckle. "Oh come on Dean. Even you have to admit that you have an unhealthy bond with that car of yours. You know... You might want to talk to a professional about that obsession…" As soon as the words hit her ears, Toni grimaced then sorrowfully said, "Shit…I… I didn't mean… I'm… Fuck I'm sorry."

"Hey… Hey!" Dean called out as he jumped to his feet and ran to wrap Toni in a tight hug. Dean knew that Toni would relax against his hold unless she didn't feel like being comforted right now (which would mean that she would swiftly push him away) and he smiled as she slumped slightly in his embrace. He then felt his muscles go somewhat lax as he said against Toni's hair, "In any other context that would have been a pretty funny joke."

Toni choked slightly on her tears before she tried to laugh and reply but found her words failed her temporarily. She sniffled once then sounded so deadly serious that it caused a shiver to run down Dean's back when she asked, "So…? What are we going to do to help cure Sam?"

"I have a few ideas," Dean replied as he took a small step away from her after he released her from his tight grip.

Toni dried her cheeks with her sleeves and then tried making eye contact with Dean. "Oh yeah? There wouldn't be anything that I could help you with, would there?"

Dean smiled that patted her shoulder before simply saying, "Of course there is."

Dean was still on the phone when Toni got back to the cabin. She avoided making direct eye contact with him because she could tell by the look on his face that he was no closer to finding any viable solutions now than he was when Toni left to do their grocery shopping. As she loaded the beer into the fridge, Toni heard Dean huff out an angry breath and then he scribbled something down on a notepad. From the sounds of his movements Toni could tell that Dean was getting increasingly frustrated as every minute passed, so she tried her best not to draw any attention to herself.

As Toni made her way to the other side of the table where he was stationed, Dean got up, tossed a journal onto another table and retrieved a beer from the fridge. They both remained in their spots as they silently watched the journal fall to the floor. Since Toni was closer to it, she picked up the journal and a business card that had fallen out of it. Without giving it a second thought or a moment of hesitation, Toni walked over to Dean to hand it to him.

Dean read over both sides of the card and found a cell number on the back. Toni left him to call the person and made her way to one of the bedrooms. She hadn't been doing anything other than researching and taking care of the domestic duties around the cabin, but suddenly she felt so completely exhausted that she thought she might fall asleep at the table if she was to open a book and try to find anything helpful to them.

After a short nap Toni was feeling a bit more rested and not that much more alert, so she was focused on making dinner and was only half listening to Dean's telephone conversation. Her interest and attention did pique when she heard Dean say, "Yeah I hear ya. So what's her address?"

Just as Dean was hanging up his phone, Toni rejoined him at the table with a beer and a plate of food in hand. He gave her an appreciative smile when she placed both in front of him. She then sat opposite him and waited for him to fill her in on his latest findings.

Dean didn't seem to notice that Toni was patiently waiting for him to speak because he automatically pushed his notepad aside to start eating. She cleared her throat purposefully to try to get his attention. When that didn't work, she finally asked, "So was that a legit lead?"

"Yeah," Dean answered around his mouthful of food. After he swallowed that down he explained, "Yeah turns out the guy whose number was on the back of that card knows of a healer…Hell the guy even got his eye fixed by this healer, so I figure it's definitely worth looking into at the very least."

Toni pulled Dean's laptop towards herself asking, "Okay. What's the name of this healer and where do they live?"

"Shouldn't you be eating something too?"

"Not hungry," Toni replied curtly. "So while you eat I'll get started on the preliminary background stuff. Name and location are?"

Dean looked like he was going to continue to argue with her so Toni gave him a look that told him that in no uncertain terms was this a good time to try to argue with her. It seemed to work because he finally (albeit somewhat reluctantly) passed her his notepad. She dragged the pad closer to herself so that she could read:

DAPHNE ALLEN  
1859 NAPIER AVE  
WESTMINSTER, CO  
303 555 0820

"And Daphne is our supposed healer?" Toni questioned skeptically while typing out that information on the computer and without moving her eyes to make eye contact with Dean. "She's…"

"The wife of the healer. His name is Emmanuel," Dean interrupted. He gave his meal a lingering look and then moved his chair to Toni's side. When he saw the information Toni had uncovered in her online search Dean couldn't help but to exclaim, "Holy shit! How did you find out all of that in under five minutes?"

Toni shrugged, still scrolling through the information and nonchalantly replied, "If you're willing to pay the user fees and have a P.I. license then you too could have access to this fun-filled database."

Dean forced himself to turn his eyes to Toni's face as he asked in a mildly awestruck voice, "And you have your P.I. license?"

Toni continued to keep her eyes either on the computer screen or the notepad on which she was continuously jotting information down while she distractedly replied, "Yeah I got it after trying to work a job for a friend in Idaho a while back. I haven't gotten it renewed or anything but turns out you just need the one valid certificate number to get started and this website will let you long onto for as long as you continue to pay the annual user fee."

"What…? Really?" Dean breathed out before he could properly regain his faculties. "I mean that's all kinds of awesome. So looks like Daphne got married to an Emmanuel not too long ago. Guess that's some validation of Mackey's claims…How 'bout we pack up our shit and head out at first light?"

"No," Toni answered sounding more coherent and focused than she had previously during this conversation causing Dean to pause in his spot between the table and the hallway to the room where his clothes and weapons were housed.

"Toni…I…" Dean tried to reply but his words seemed to have gotten lost in his confusion at her response.

Toni didn't move from her spot, but she did sound more confident when she said, "No Dean, I don't think it would be wise for me to go with you… It would probably be best if I stay out of the way and just do the online searches for you."

She hadn't noticed Dean inching closer to her so Toni actually did jump in her chair when his hand touched her shoulder. After she realized what she had done, Toni forced herself to relax as she continued, "Seriously Dean it would be for the best if you go there solo… But I can still linger… linger in the… the background to… to be… be your… your back up… Well of sorts…"

Dean could tell by the way Toni's speech was broken up and choppy that she was trying her hardest not to break down into tears so he forced himself not to wrap her in a comforting hug as he said, "That's sounds okay Toni. Seriously… Having you at my back makes me feel safer than working with just about anyone else."

They held each other's gaze up until the second that Toni's tears spilled down her cheeks and she sobbed loudly. Dean rocked awkwardly from foot to foot where he stood because he wasn't sure that he could touch Toni at all while she seem to be breaking down completely, even though his first instinct was to do whatever he could to comfort her.

Toni looked up from her hand that had been holding her face as she tried to sniffle back some of the remaining tears, but she didn't seem to be able to control or stop the flow of tears. As much as Dean wanted to just silence Toni's well placed tears, he halted his hands as they reached out to her and allowed Toni to take full control over any of their physical or vocal interactions from here on out in the hopes that she would open up to him about what was causing her such distress (beyond the obvious because Toni hadn't allowed Dean to see her be more than slightly upset about Sam's condition, even though she did tell him about the break down the first day she visited Sam and he believed that she was a hallucination).

After a few moments of intense silence, Dean heard Toni's unsure voice call out, "Dean?" He then reached out a hand to try to offer Toni some measure of comfort which seemed to give her some confidence causing her to more forcefully say, "Dean I'm okay. I mean I know this isn't an ideal situation for you to go into, but Sam really needs us to try anything right now… Sorry but I just can't… I mean…... What if this Emmanuel guy can't fix the damage? What if…?

"Then we'll try something else. I'm not going to give up hope that there's something out there to fix my brother," Dean interrupted with a false sense of conviction as he took a seat beside her once again.

Toni nodded and dried the tracks of tears on her cheeks saying, "And I don't want to lose faith either, honestly I don't… And I'll try my best not to…" She took in a deep breath and pushed it out loudly through her lips. "So just as a precaution, why don't I stay here to keep looking into these other leads that you've found…? You know, just in case?"

Dean wanted to argue with Toni that he would prefer to have her with him in case things went sideways with Emmanuel, but in all honesty he did see the logic behind her thinking. Plus he worried about Toni's emotional state and feared that it would cloud her judgment which in turn would split his focus greatly and that too could be more harmful than anything else. In essence he felt like he was damned if he took her and damned if he didn't.

"Yeah… Alright," he reluctantly agreed. "And this way you can use your fancy little database to look up anyone new that I meet along the way."

Toni gave Dean a teary grin as she chuckled saying, "Yeah that too. Hey… Why don't I put together a food care package for you while you pack?"

Dean stopped in the doorway to the hall and looked over his shoulder replying, "That'd be perfect. Thanks Toni."


	41. Give Me a Moment Please

Dean pulled up in front of the dark walkway to park and gave his brother another pointed and unfriendly look. Sam missed it yet again because he was too preoccupied with gathering up all of his belongings to carry them inside. Although Dean still didn't agree with his brother's reasons for making this pit stop at this time of day, well night, he refrained from voicing any more objections because they seemed pretty useless, especially now that the brothers had reached their final destination.

At Sam's insistence they both moved to the trunk of the car to unload their duffle bags and carried them as they made their way down the unlit walkway. When they reached the stairs to the front door, Sam immediately noticed that there were no lights on in the house. He froze in his spot with one foot on the bottom stop and then turned to his brother to say, "Shit! What time is it? Do you think that they're home? Or…? Shit do you think that they're asleep?"

Dean rolled his eyes and stomped his way up the front stairs replying, "No way! You are NOT backing out now. I told you this was a dumb idea, but noooo…" He elongated the one syllable word while he turned back towards the door to ring the doorbell a couple of times before Sam could say anything else. "So we aren't backing out now. We're here, so we're staying until someone answers the damn door because I know I saw Toni's truck parked…"

He abruptly cut himself off at the sound of the lock clicking and the door opening up behind him. Dean turned and was almost able to plaster a fake warm smile on his face before he heard a groggy voice ask, "Yes…? Can I help you with something young man?"

Dean had anticipated meeting a surly and sleepy Toni at the door, so he was caught completely off guard by seeing the half-awake male that was now standing in front of him. Toni's dad was still slowly rubbing the sleep from his eyes which gave Sam ample opportunity to push past his stunned brother to greet the older man.

"Hey Tom, I'm really sorry that we woke you… I guess we kind of lost track of time."

The Colonel took a couple of seconds to focus on Sam's face while Dean mumbled under his breath "You might of but I damn well know it's 2am." Once the Colonel saw the hunter's face more clearly, Tom smiled and answered (without acknowledging Dean's comment), "Sam there's no need to apologize. Toni told me that you might be stopping by, but I didn't know that meant that you were going to drive straight through the night to get here."

"Yeah again sorry about that… I guess we aren't really used to interacting with people who actually sleep at night," Sam explained with an embarrassed laugh.

"And again it's nothing for you to apologize about son," Tom replied sympathetically while patting Sam on the shoulder. He then turned and pointed at the interior of the house saying, "Why don't you two boys come in and make yourself more comfortable? I'm sure you must be tired from all of the driving."

Sam gave the Colonel a tight smile and nodded whispering, "Thanks."

When Dean moved to step through the door he was abruptly stopped by the older man thrusting out his hand for a handshake. Dean took it quickly and replied a little too rapidly to cover his unease, "Colonel McNamara, it's an honor to finally meet you… Your daughter speaks very highly of you Sir."

The Colonel's cheeks took on a very pale pink shade at Dean's kind words. He then tried to laugh off his embarrassment as he said, "Oh please Dean just call me Tom. Honestly there is no need for you to be so formal when you're a guest in my home." Dean nodded his understanding and acceptance of this offer but didn't really have anything else to say. Tom patted his back and then led him into the townhouse with an arm wrapped around Dean's shoulders. "And my daughter has had some very enlightening things to tell me about you as well."

Unsure if the Colonel was alluding to anything ominous, Dean immediately went on high alert and tried to defend himself just in case anything Toni had to say was less than flattering. "Sir, I…"

"Dad? Who the hell was at the door?" Toni's voice came from somewhere at the top of the stairs to the second level of the townhouse. She was firmly rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands as she almost inaudibly grumbled, "Better be fucking important… Wake me up after only two hours sleep…"

Tom let out a loud masculine laugh before he called out, "Angel if you would just open your eyes then you would have all of your questions answered."

Never one to disobey a direct order, well at least she wasn't prone to do so when the orders were logical and made perfect sense, Toni opened her eyes and dropped her hands to her sides. Her gaze landed first on her father and then a millisecond later her eyes found her boyfriend.

"Sam!" She exclaimed as she ran down the stairs in his general direction. Sam was anticipating that Toni was going to hug him, but he wasn't quite prepared for her to launch herself into his arms from halfway up the staircase. Sam let out a quiet "OOMPH" as he tried to balance her weight in his arms, but Toni ignored his slight struggle and hugged his neck tightly while she simultaneously wrapped her legs around his waist. "You didn't have to drive all night to get here… Dad and I would have still been here in the morning."

"It wasn't all that far from the hospital, so it really isn't that big of a deal," Sam fibbed against her hair.

Toni of course knew how far away the hospital was from her home, so she knew it was farther away than Sam had tried to play it of being, but she let Sam's white lie slide. For one she honestly was too tired to argue with him and for two she was just too damned relieved to see him awake and alert to care about anything else.

She leaned back in his arms to hold both of his cheeks in her hands while she let him see the relief plain on her face. She then quickly bent down to peck his lips and then whispered against them, "I missed you too."

Sam let himself get lost in Toni's gaze but he was abruptly ripped away from it by the sound of someone clearly their throat loudly behind him.

"Well looks like Sam will be bunking with Toni tonight," Tom announced with a good natured chuckle. He then gave Dean an amiable slap on the back saying, "I guess that means you'll be staying with me, Roomie."

Tom let his hand slide over Dean's back until he had a firm hold of the younger man's shoulder. Dean went completely rigid the instant that he felt the Colonel press his body against the older man's side. Dean kept his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall ahead of him so he missed the playful glint in Toni's father's eyes. Tom seemed to be completely unaware of how uncomfortable he was making Dean feel, but when Toni leaned back to laugh at his joke she instantly caught the chagrinned look on Dean's face.

Toni untangled herself from her embrace with Sam then glared at her father half-heartedly (while barely being able to suppress a cheeky grin) and gasped out an astonished, "DAD!"

The Colonel continued to look amused and proud of his off color humor so Toni clenched her jaw with a much more serious look in her eye and jutted her chin in the older hunter's direction. Her dad quickly took the hint and released Dean so that he could look into the face of the younger man.

"Dean surely you know that I was just joking!" Tom stated almost sounding panicked. "I… I thought that… I was trying to… I'm so sorry, but I thought that that was in line with your sense of humor… I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable Dean."

Toni squeezed her dad's arm with a soft smile on her face. After he looked like he had calmed down some Toni turned her attention to Dean. When she spoke she made sure she kept her tone calm and careful because she was afraid that she might spook him even more than he already was from her dad's joke.

"Hey… Look… I think we're all pretty exhausted, so why don't we all get some sleep and start the introductions over tomorrow?" She turned to look over her shoulder at Sam to instruct him, "Why don't you take your bag up to my room and I'll get Dean settled down here in the den?"

Sam nodded and picked up his bag to sling it over his shoulder. When he moved to step closer to Toni, she turned away from him and picked Dean's bag up from the floor. Dean quickly claimed the handles of his bag from her, so Toni took his arm in her now empty hand to lead him to their new destination. As they made their way into the other room, Toni overheard her dad telling Sam not to worry about anything because he was sure that Toni would be able smooth things over with his brother.

Dean flopped down on the couch and sighed heavily while Toni kept moving around to gather everything she thought he needed together. She slipped into the hallway to retrieve some fresh linens and towels from the closet. When she returned to the den she found Dean sitting with his elbows on his knees and holding his head in both of his hands. Toni could pretty much guess what the commentary was that was running through Dean's head right now, so she wanted to make sure to ease his mind as soon as possible. She knew that her dad was mentally beating himself up for his faux pas but she also knew that he would easily get over it if he knew that Dean's mind was no longer in turmoil. As such she stood in the doorway watching Dean while she tried to figure out a way to fix this situation before either of them tried to settle to sleep for the night.

When she felt like she had the perfect solution to their problem figured out she entered the room and placed the linens on the couch beside Dean before she sat down on the coffee table in front of him. Dean didn't seem to have noticed her presence at all so Toni reached out a tentative hand to gently tap him on the shoulder. After a slow count to five Dean raised his head to find Toni smiling serenely at him in return of his conflicted appearance.

Before Dean could even think about speaking Toni said, "You didn't offend him at all, so please don't worry about that, alright?" He still had an uncertain, almost worried look on his face prompting Toni to grin a little bit wider. "Honestly Dean… He was just really nervous about finally getting to meet you and… Well you know how I easily succumb to 'foot in mouth syndrome' when I'm nervous? Well it turns out that it's an inherited trait."

Toni smirked humorously at the end of her statement and Dean finally let out a short, tension easing laugh. When she noticed that Dean still looked slightly distressed despite his efforts to hide it, Toni reached out again to place her hand gently on his forearm in to try to reassure him.

Dean laughed nervously again then said, "Well when you put it that way it doesn't sound like anything could be all that bad."

"And that's because it isn't," Toni reaffirmed. "Dad, he… he knows how important… I mean… You're Sam's brother and Dad knows how much Sam means to me so they've kind of bonded over the last little while and he wanted to try to make you feel like you were just as welcomed in our home too, but I'm sure he's seen the error of his ways by now and all."

"But Toni, he opened his home to us…To me and then I…"

"Didn't laugh at his joke?" Toni jumped in when Dean's comment faded into being completely inaudible. "Seriously Dean he gets it. After everything he and I have been through and worked through together, I know that he'll more than understand where this went wrong. He…"

Toni hesitated for a moment to finish her thought because she wasn't sure that she was permitted to share this part of her father's past with anyone. She and the Colonel had been able to work through so many issues together that she had lost count of how many long ago, but many of them were demons that they had had to slay alone as a duo. With that in mind she tried to remain conscious of the fact that some things were private and at this moment in time she wished that she had of been able to keep her loud mouth shut, but then again they do say 'if wishes were horses, beggars would ride' or so Toni vaguely remembered her mother saying something like that to her brothers when they were being unreasonable during their youth. Since she didn't want to revert back to the times when she and Dean had been so badly at odds that they were barely on speaking terms (alright Toni might concede that they were times when Toni had chosen to ignore Dean despite his attempts to talk to her) Toni opted to be as truthful as she could right now with him.

"It'll sound kind of stupid, but his counselor suggested that we try to make up for lost time whenever we could, so Dad's trying to do just that… One thing that he heard was that 'normal' parents are prone to say things that embarrass their children and… Umm… He's been trying to master that skill."

Dean chuckled self-consciously then said, "Yeah I think he just might have done that… So you seriously think everything will be okay between him and me?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure it will be, especially if you eat whatever he prepares for breakfast in the morning and make really convincing 'yummy' noises," Toni replied with a tiny smirk curling her lips on one side of her mouth.

Completely unamused by Toni's attempt at humor, Dean gave her the look that he felt her last comment deserved as he said, "Yeah… Okay… I think your sleep deprivation is starting to affect your judgment, so you should probably try to get back to sleep now Toni."

Toni gave Dean a mock sour-puss look as she stood up by when she spoke she sounded nothing but cordial and polite, "Sure… That sounds like a good plan. I grabbed a couple of clean towels for you. The bathroom is just down the hall by the laundry room… It has a stand up shower in it and… Umm… A shampoo and conditioner dispenser…. I also pulled out a couple of sheets, a fleece blanket and a few pillows out there for you… Did…? Did you want me to help you pull out the bed at all?"

Dean stood, stretching his arms over his head replying, "No that's okay, the couch seems wide enough that I should be able to sleep on it just fine as it is, but thanks for the offer Toni."

"Yeah that's true, I've fallen asleep in front of the TV more times than I should admit to and I've never woken up with a kink in my neck or anything," Toni replied as she stood to leave. When she reached the door, Toni paused and half turned around to softly call out, "Good night Dean… Hope you sleep well."

He waved a hand over his head and called out a quiet, "You too" before he returned his attention to smoothing out the sheet over the cushions of the couch. Toni couldn't help but linger at the doorway while she watched Dean create his nest… Err settle in for the night. He used one sheet to over the seat cushions and then he used the second sheet to cover the back of the couch before he sat down to remove his boots and jeans.

When Toni realized that Dean was stripping down to his undershirt and boxer briefs, she quickly turned away to make her hasty retreat. She then continued her regular nightly routine of checking the front then back doors to make sure that their locks were secure. After the incident with Addy and Dean's son, Toni had asked Sam about any inconspicuous precautionary steps that she could take to keep her dad and herself safe from anything supernatural that might try to get into the townhouse and he had suggested drawing Devil's Traps at the thresholds and covering them with doormats. She had followed his suggestion of course and tonight she couldn't help but check that the Sharpie ink looked just as good as the day she had originally drawn the traps. Since the brothers were visiting she even went so far as to place a thin salt line at the back door. (She stopped herself from doing the same at the front door because it would have been harder to hide and she didn't want to look paranoid in front of the brothers after all.)

As she moved down the hallway she made sure that all of the lights were turned off and then she made her way slowly up the stairs. On passing the framed photos of her family on the wall of the stairwell, Toni unconsciously kissed her index and middle fingers of her right hand and pressed a 'kiss' to each of the smiling faces of her mother and brothers. She couldn't really pinpoint a date when she had added these three acts of remembrance and affection to her end of the day routine, but she found that she couldn't get a restful night's sleep without them when she was at home.

At the top of the stairs she turned to head to her room, but she hesitated when she noticed a sliver of light shining out from under her father's bedroom door. It wasn't unusual for Toni to find her dad passed out on his bed with his bed-side light still illuminated on his night stand. Those nights she had just carefully extracted the book from his grasp to place it on his night stand before quietly tucking him in and turning off the light. For some reason as she approached her father's door she was more than confident that that would not actually be the case tonight.

With that nagging thought trying to force its way from the back of her mind to cause her to obsess about it, Toni placed her right hand on her dad's door knob while simultaneously knocking on his door softly with her left.

His simple, quiet reply of "Yes?" prompted Toni to slowly push open her father's bedroom door. She wasn't sure what she had expected to see, but watching her dad carefully place a bookmark in the spine of his novel he was reading before holding it protectively to his chest caused Toni's heart to break slightly.

The Colonel opened his mouth and then closed it quickly before he could try to speak. He knew what information he wanted to get from his daughter, but he couldn't quite find the words to ask her for it just yet. Toni could see her father's internal struggle plain on his face so she sat down on his bed by his knees and patted his leg gently.

"He's fine dad. When I poked my head into the den after checking the back door, he looked like he was completely passed out cold for the night," Toni said with a sympathetic smile spreading across her lips. "Although…"

"What? Although what Angel?" Her dad asked worriedly as he sat up a bit straighter in his spot.

Feigning coyness, Toni picked at her dad's comforter to avoid making eye contact then answered with an 'awe shucks' tone in her voice, "Although I did sort of volunteer you to make us all breakfast tomorrow… I hope that wasn't over stepping…"

Toni turned just her eyes to check for her father's reaction. She was sure that he would get her joke straightaway, but the look of confusion he was wearing told her a totally different story. Her head shot up and she was just about to lunge forward and apologize to her dad when a smile finally broke out across his lips.

Pausing mid-motion, Toni felt her eyebrows tilt down in a misunderstanding frown as her dad let out a quiet, throaty laugh. "Of course I'd be more than happy to play chef for everyone in the morning, you know that already. But…? Angel… Toni do you really think my cooking a meal will really do all that much to help me smooth things over with Dean?"

Toni finally completed her previous movement and leaned forward to hug her dad around the neck. "I know it will Dad." She pushed back so that she could look the Colonel in the eye but kept her hands clasped behind his neck when she said, "In fact it was Dean who was under the impression that he was the one that would be needing to figure out a way to apologize to you."

"Me…? Why…? Why would he have a crazy notion like that in his head?" Her dad sputtered out in utter disbelief.

Toni's hands unhooked themselves from around the Colonel's neck so that she could hold his hands while she spoke. "Dad… Now who's the one underestimating themselves?" Her dad's bright blush was all the response that Toni needed, so she continued with her explanation and didn't give him a chance to get a word in edgewise. "He really is grateful for everything we've done for Sam and felt like his misunderstanding your joke was disrespectful and made him look ungrateful. He didn't mean to react so strongly or so negatively and I actually do believe him on those points. And I… I think I actually… actually made him feel kind of embarrassed when I tried to laugh it off by saying that it was just you going through a belated 'parent embarrassing their child at every turn' phase."

"Antonia," her father groused without any heat to back up his words. "You didn't really tell him that did you Sweetheart?"

Toni raised a hand to her dad's cheek and tried her best not to sputter out a laugh that was bubbling up in her chest. She had thought that her father's nervousness had come from his trying too hard to make Dean feel as comfortable in their home as Sam seemed to have the moment that he had stepped through their door, but now she was thinking that she might have been wrong. It took up until that moment for her to recognize that her dad was acting more like she had when she was a teenager and was trying her best to impress Alex or Will (or rather their friends who were much older than herself). Nervousness she had anticipated, but hero worship? Well she probably should have seen that coming by the almost dreamy way her father spoke about any of the Winchesters' heroic exploits and yet she hadn't had any idea that her dad would react this way to meeting the eldest Winchester.

Now she understood the flash of terror that she had seen pass through her father's eyes before she told him the truth about what she said to Dean. Thomas McNamara had been an upstanding, respected Colonel in the US Army who had been granted an honorable discharge after many years of service (and the passing of his beloved wife, which had devastated his psyche beyond all comprehension), so how would it look if it got out that he visited a counselor twice a month (for a while Tom and Toni had visited Mister Spencer's office on a weekly basis to help repair the life time of damage that had been done to their relationship) to the other retired soldiers in the retirement complex? For Toni it was a non-issue because all of those sessions, as tear-filled and difficult as they had been, had actually given her the one thing that she had never dreamed could have ever happened during her life time; a functional, loving relationship with her father. For that fact alone she had never felt any embarrassment or shame when speaking about their time spent in therapy together, but now she was faced with the fact that her father might not want to air such laundry in front of a macho, heroic figure like the iconic Dean Winchester from the novels that her father had practically memorized word for word by now.

"Dad?" Toni started cautiously. "Dean… He…  he already knew all about us doing the whole counseling thing together… Uhh… In fact if it wasn't for everything Spence taught us, I don't think that Dean and I would be on speaking terms at all right now."

"So Dean…? He…? He…?" Tom tried to ask but his uneasiness seemed to impede his ability to complete a single thought out loud.

Once again Toni was able to recognize her father's internal struggle as she replied, "So he knows that's a part of what makes you YOU and me… Well it makes me the slightly neurotic woman that nearly cut his balls off when he accused me of deserting Sam when he was worried about his brother because I really needed to come home and spend some time with you."

Toni was about to go on a half-hearted Dean bashing spree, but another quick, quiet shout of "Antonia" silenced the rest of her impending diatribe.

"Okay… Okay, but seriously dad he knows about the counseling and he was still worried about making a good impression on you so… I was thinking that we should all get a good night's sleep and then we could all restart this visit over breakfast, okay? That seems doable, don't you think?"

"So you think we can just sit down and eat some eggs, hash browns with coffee and then we can just his restart like tonight never happened?" The Colonel asked sounding more intrigued than he sounded skeptical or disbelieving.

Giving her father a knowing smile Toni replied, "And bacon… Seriously Dad you cannot forget the bacon or all of my hard work tonight will have been for nothing."

Tom pulled his daughter into a tight hug as he replied against her hair, "I would never dream of forgetting the bacon Toni… Never." He then held her face in his hands as he concluded, "But before we can have breakfast we have to at least try to get some shut eye."

Toni stared at her dad in a dumbfounded silence because she couldn't believe what had just happened. Somehow she had single-handedly been able to ease not only Dean's troubled mind, but she had also been able to do the same for her dad as well. Not only that, she had been able to accomplish both goals without resorting to using sex or alcohol as a diversion. Well the sex would have really only been offered to or worked for Dean, but still she was the peacemaker and all it took was finding the right thing to say to both men and nothing more.

By the time Toni had caught up with her racing thoughts, Toni's dad had started to look slightly concerned. She quickly leaned forward to hug her dad's neck tightly yet again. "You're definitely right Dad, we should…" She sat back and pet his cheek in a careful tone, "So you're good? I mean all that crap with Dean…? It's all good now, right?"

"Right you are Angel." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before saying with a playful glint in his eyes, "But you shouldn't be worrying about an old man like me, not when you have your estranged boyfriend waiting for you in your room."

"Dad!" Toni exclaimed quietly as a hot blush spread quickly across her cheeks and neck. "I… You know… Umm… I guess that means I should be saying 'good night' now."

"That it does Angel. Breakfast should be ready by the time you two get up… Or at least I'll make sure to keep some warm for you."

Toni stopped at the door and had to swallow a deep breath to hide her further embarrassment so that she could look over her shoulder to say, "Thanks Dad. Sweet dreams and I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

Her dad had already turned off his bedside lamp and was already settling in to sleep but he still called out "Sweet dreams Angel. I love you too."

Toni then left his room and finally made her way to her room. She double checked that her dad's bathroom was clean and orderly. As she turned out its light Toni couldn't help but shake her head while silently laughing at herself. If anyone had ever questioned that her father had retired after a long and honored military career all they had to do was look at his bed or bathroom. Both rooms always looked like a photographer was going to show up to take photos for a spread in 'Good Housekeeping' at any moment. Toni tried to keep her own bed and bathrooms as tidy as possible, but for some reason her bed corners never looked as crisp as his and her toothpaste was forever dribbling onto the countertop. Of course the latter could have had something to do with her lifelong habit of losing toothpaste caps and therefore was never able to put it back on properly.

At her closed bedroom door, Toni stopped and rested her forehead against the painted wooden door. So far she was two for two, but she wasn't sure that she had the energy to try to bat a thousand by comforting another worried man tonight. On top of that, if she did strike out with Sam then she would STRIKE OUT with Sam. She missed him with every fiber of her being, but more importantly she needed him to talk to her so that she could see for herself that he was really alive, well and actually okay. He had assured her over the phone that Emmanuel had actually been Castiel and he had come through for him and saved him from completely succumbing to his insanity. It all sounded reasonable and a little too good to be true over the phone, but until she could see the miraculous healing for herself she wouldn't be convinced that he was really back to his old, more normal self.

As soon as that thought formed in her head, Toni stood up straight and smiled brightly at her door. She was still feeling some lingering effects of her fatigue, but with her new course of action decided she started to feel like she was starting to get a second wind. She then reached out her hand and took in a deep, steadying breath thinking to herself _Alright… Here goes nothing… You can do this Toni._

Toni opened her door slowly and once she entered the room the sight that she was met with nearly caused her to lose all of the wind from her sails. She once again found Sam sitting hunched over on her bed with his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. Toni's heart nearly broke from the vivid memories this scene evoked from the last time she had found Sam in this exact same position during his first visit to her home. Granted Sam had treated her to some of the most amazing sex she had ever experienced, but then he had followed it up with one of the most horrific revelations that he had ever dropped on her in a very long time so she knew this could go either way depending on what either of them said or did in the next few moments.

Thankfully she chose to remain optimistic because they both had been in a celebratory mood the last time that they had talked on the phone. With that in mind, Toni straightened herself up and plastered an easy smile on her face as she approached Sam. When he saw Toni force herself to exude nothing but confidence while she moved towards him, Sam decided that he should do the same. By the time that Toni was within touching distance, Sam was leisurely leaning on her bed's mattress with his hands anchored about a foot behind his back. That stance plus the mild leer on Sam's face caused Toni's breath to catch and her knees to feel so weak that she almost thought that she was going to fall over face first into him.

Since Toni had never been good at giving anyone the upper-hand (if they earned or won it she would concede her defeat, but just give it up? Never. Or at least not yet) so she tried her best not to react to how scrumptious Sam looked just yet as she said (trying for an easy, nonchalant tone), "Well… Well… Well… Look at what the cat finally fucking dragged in… And now you just show up here, flaunting yourself all over my bed like that…" Toni stepped in between Sam's splayed legs to run her fingers through his hair in an effort to erase the worried look that was on his face. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and then both of his now closed eye lids before she whispered seductively, "I hope that you're ready for your _full_ inspection Soldier."

Toni leaned back just far enough for Sam to see that her eyes were so consumed with lust that the color of her irises had been eaten by her dilated pupils. Sam had to swallow so thickly a couple of times that it was audible to anyone in the room before he could finally stammer out, "Oh… Oh… Oh-kay… I… I… I mean… Yeah… Ye… Yes ma'am, I'm ready."

"Good," Toni breathed out against his temple before she kissed a spot above and below his left eye. "The abrasions here and here have healed well…" She reported in a husky tone. Toni held his cheeks in both hands for a moment before she nodded once quickly and pecked his lips.

Her hands then slid from Sam's cheeks to his neck and then they continued to his shoulders and the front of his shirt. Sam opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself from uttering a word when Toni's fingers gracefully flicked open each of the little white buttons of his fleece over shirt. Toni kept her eyes trained on Sam's face as she undid his shirt but they both sucked in a quick, surprised breath when her right hand slipped under the flannel to connect with nothing but the bare flesh of his pectoral muscle.

"Sam," Toni said against his ear more breathily than she had anticipated. "How are your ribs healing?" She asked as she gingerly moved her hand from the center of his chest to his side where two of his ribs had been cracked when they had been hit by a moving car.

The question caught Sam so off guard that he couldn't find any words to answer Toni as she slipped the flannel garment off of his shoulders. His continued silence didn't faze Toni and she used his stunned state to her advantage by pushing on his shoulders to slowly lower his upper body onto the bed.

Once Sam was laying down on her bed with his legs still hanging over the edge as if he was still sitting up straight, Toni straddled his stomach without attempting to remove any of her clothes. She wasn't looking to cause Sam any pain so she made sure to keep the majority of her weight off of his body by kneeling on her mattress on either side of Sam's thighs. Sam once again tried to open his mouth to speak, but Toni quickly silenced him by placing her fingertips against his lips. True she had asked him a question and that usually meant that he was expected to answer her, but Toni had other plans for Sam Winchester, so his inability to formulate an answer didn't worry her at all.

Sam still looked confused, but he didn't fight Toni when she moved both of his hands over his head. She was watching his face intently while she did it so that there was no way that she could have missed the slight tightening at the corners of his eyes when the skin and muscles of his chest and upper body were forced to stretch as she raised his hands over his head. His breathing didn't change at all, so Toni took that as a sign that she hadn't aggravated his wound or wounds too much. Sam kept his hands clasped over his head as Toni started to run her hands down the length of both of his arms. When she reached his elbows he still hadn't attempted to move at all and Toni rewarded him by kissing him on the tip of his nose.

"The cut here had healed completely," she reported without hiding her surprise as she ran her fingers over his left collarbone. Sam nodded slowly bud that turned into a quicker up and down motion as Toni started to caress that spot on his chest with her lips and tongue. She continued to kiss her way down his chest and she couldn't help but to grin against his skin when Toni felt Sam suck in a shallow breath and hold it after she lightly bit the sensitive flesh by his left nipple. "No loss of sensation here, that's a good sign," she stated in a tone that sounded like she was failing to sound completely detached.

Sam couldn't stop himself from chuckling slightly at the husky tone of Toni's voice when she spoke before she continued to trail kisses down his torso. When she reached the spot where two Sam's ribs had been broken, Toni's embraces became almost feather-light to avoid causing Sam any undue pain or suffering. Sam watched Toni with calm eyes as the tip of her tongue snaked out from between her lips to trace the length of his two formerly broken bones. When Sam gasped in a surprised breath, Toni assumed that she had hurt him so she ghosted another kiss over his ribcage before she backed off his flesh completely.

"No… No…" Sam sighed out in an almost blissful daze. "No… Not… That was… Felt so good."

Toni looked shocked for a millisecond before she gently grazed the teeth of her upper jaw along his ribs starting from the center of his chest towards his back. This time her oral attentions only elicited a nearly imperceptible shudder from Sam as Goosebumps blossomed all over his skin. Toni turned her eyes towards Sam's face to monitor his reaction as she ran just her lips over that same expanse of flesh. When Toni was amidst her third pass over his ribs, Sam turned just his eyes so that he could try to watch Toni 'worshipping' his flesh.

The instant their eyes met, Toni's breath caught once again in her throat. All of the cuts, abrasions and bruises she had anticipated finding (and having to avoid during any shows of intimacy so that she wouldn't hurt him any further) were completely healed and it took Toni a couple of seconds to figure out why that might be. Sam had winced slightly when she had stretched Sam's arms over his head, but now she was thinking that that had more to do with natural muscle fatigue from sitting in the Impala for so long as opposed to any actual injuries that Toni had thought would be inevitable for her to encounter.

Sam continued to watch Toni in silence while she continued to lavish the left side of his rib cage with fleeting kisses and soft bites. When she reached the spot where he had recently experienced broken bones, Toni bit down a little harder causing Sam to gasp in a sharp breath. She lick his 'wound' softly and looked up at him with a playful glint in her eyes as she quietly asked with her chin resting against his ribs, "Castiel?"

Sam scowled his misunderstanding and Toni couldn't help but laugh at the confused look on his face. She then rested her left cheek on his well-defined abdominal muscles to look at his face and asked while running her fingertips lightly over the length of his ribs to clarify her previous question, "Your broken bones…? The bruises and cuts…? Even the hallucinations… Was…? Was it Castiel that healed all of it for you?"

Toni's fingers found a sensitive spot that caused Sam to squirm and huff out a nervous laugh as he answered, "Yeah… I mean… Yes… Yes Ma'am… It was Castiel that healed all of my injuries, Ma'am."

Toni smiled against his stomach and then turned her face even further to kiss his tight stomach with a soft chuckle. She wasn't sure that Sam would be up for maintaining this style of role play she they hadn't actually used this sex game since the early months in their relationship while at Stanford. Since Sam was willing to at least try to stay in character, Toni dutifully replied as she snaked her way down his body, "Good to hear… Now… At ease soldier."

That 'order' resulted in Sam's eyes flying open before he raised his head to watch Toni's face disappear off the end of the bed. He knew that Toni wanted him to relax, but until he was sure of where all of this was going with her, Sam knew that it would be impossible for him to settle down completely. In fact, he was actually damn close to breaking character and calling out her name to check on her when he saw just her hands start to slide up slowly over his calves and then her head reappeared as they traveled up to his thighs and the waist of his jeans.

Toni didn't have to raise her face all the way up to look at Sam's face for her to know that he was straining his neck to raise his head in order to watch her with a concerned eye. In an effort to ease his mind, she worked relatively blind to open the button and zipper fly of Sam's jeans. As soon as the zipper was open, Sam sighed out loudly and let his head flop back onto the mattress.

Grinning at the sound of Sam's head hitting the mattress hard, Toni finally ventured a peek up the line of his body to make sure that Sam was back on board with her original plan: No deep conversations this evening. Just some good old fashioned sex between lovers to make sure that everything was still working properly.

Sam's breathing had started to speed up as he felt Toni raise up over his groin causing Toni to laugh softly against his clothing. She then pulled back his jeans and thankfully Sam lifted his buttocks off the bad automatically and without her having to request him to do so which allowed her to leave him in the worked up headspace he had put himself into just a few minutes ago. Another plus in Sam's favor was that he had removed his boots and socks at the door to Toni's bedroom long before she had been able to join him and she rewarded his forethought with wet kisses down the flesh of his legs as it was revealed during her process of peeling the denim off each of his legs.

Once she had his jeans removed from his legs, Toni pointedly took her time folding them to leave the jeans at the foot of her bed. Sam's breathing had evened out slightly during her short interlude of folding his jeans so she picked up one of his feet and started massaging the sole of it while kissing his calf in an effort to reawaken his sexual appetite that she had previously felt. Sam immediately started to pant in his breaths under her ministrations, so Toni turned her attention to his other foot and leg to give them the same attention that she had already lovingly bestowed upon his other limb.

Much to Toni's relieved dismay, Sam's breath quickened even further and she had to stop herself form biting the inside of his left thigh as she raised herself up off of the floor completely. Sam had an arm thrown over his eyes while he tried to control his breathing, but Toni wanted him to lose complete control so she ran her tongue up the inside of his left thigh in an effort to reach that goal. When she reached the barrier of his boxers she bunched the loose legs of the shorts up in the same way many a man had done to her in order to get to the center of her passion and she let her tongue, lips and teeth tease his flesh like she would have wanted any man to tease her into being more than primed and ready for a fun filled night.

At this point Toni had Sam's boxers pulled up to look more like bikini briefs while she enthusiastically mouthed his clothed erection. Sam tried to raise his head more than once to watch her, but every time she saw him try to lift his head at the neck, Toni would do something with her mouth that would cause him to flop his head back with his eyes rolled up into the back of his head.

"Shh… Sammy, I'll make this good for you," Toni whispered against his thigh as she started to roll the waist of his boxers down.

Unlike before, Sam didn't just raise his hips and buttocks off the mattress this time he also helped to push at the cotton boxers so they could get them down his thighs. Toni quickly caught onto his impatience and was almost ready to reprimand him for his 'disobedience' until she caught a glimpse of his rock hard and leaking erection that was just laying there waiting for her to suck it down and give it all of the attentions that it deserved.

After she had folded Sam's boxers to place them on top of Sam's jeans, Toni started to kiss her way up Sam's left thigh. When she reached the most intimate of parts of him that she could have sucked him down to help him reach his apex, Toni made sure to skirt around it with her lips to the less sensitive skin of his stomach and belly button.

Sam voiced his displeasure by groaning out a strangled, "Toe… Knee… Pleeease."

She then started to kiss and nip her way back down Sam's body. Toni let her mouth linger on the very sensitive skin between his legs near his groin before she sat up on his legs after she decided to change her tactics.

"It's okay," she said almost automatically as she shifted her weight to sit up straighter on the meat of his thighs. "If you would just put a little more trust in me then we will be able to have the most unbelievable sex… But if you won't… Well I can go and call Dean from his dead sleep to tell him that you'll be sleeping in the den with him tonight… But I'm pretty sure that you don't really want to do that."

Sam remained silent, but he looked like he was having troubles swallowing, so Toni took his length in her hands and worked them up and down it slowly. She wanted to ensure that he wouldn't lose any of his arousal while she continued to tease him verbally, "Seriously there isn't a single scar or bruise left on you…I guess you might have a point about how useful that angel friend of yours can be… Might need to think about my position about forgiving him…"

Toni momentarily got lost in her thought up until the moment when Sam suddenly squeezed a hand over both of hers. Toni tilted her chin down so that she could meet Sam's eyes and slack-jawed look. He held her hands loosely around himself and breathlessly asked, "Can…? Can we not…? I mean… Ma'am… Can we cease any further conversation of other men until after we've…? We've…? Made love?"

Toni's cheeks rouged slightly as her eyes cast down to where Sam was holding her hands. He definitely had a point because she had always been the first one to remind him that she should be the only woman on his mind whenever they were in bed together and what had she been doing? Not only had she brought up her least favorite angel, she had also brought up Sam's brother's name. Could there have been a worse way for her to try to make Sam feel sexy? Probably not, so Toni knew that she had to make it up to him and she was going to start by dropping her insistence to continue on with this style of role playing.

She then crawled up so that her hands were on either side of Sam's head with her knees pressing into either side of his ribcage. Sam had closed his eyes fearing that he had angered his 'commanding officer', so Toni gently ran her fingers through his hair until he hesitantly opened his eyes. She smiled at him and then kissed him softly once he had his eyes wide open.

"You're right Sam," she said as she moved his hands to the waist of her sleep shorts. "But I'll do you one better… How 'bout we not broach any heavy topics until after we both have had a mind blowing orgasm or two?"

Sam's fingers wrapped themselves around the elastic waistband of Toni's shorts while nodding his head emphatically as he answered, "I like the sounds of that."

Toni smiled brightly and kissed Sam so enthusiastically that it was almost uncomfortable and painful. She quickly gripped his head so that she could shift the angle of his face and then their kisses just seemed to work perfectly. She continued to attack his mouth until she felt him slip the elastic of her shorts under the flesh of her buttocks. Toni lifted her face just enough so that she could pant against Sam's mouth while he ran his fingernails over her now exposed skin of her firm backside.

Sam puckered his lips to kiss Toni again, but Toni moved a little further back unconsciously as she got lost in the sensation of Sam teasing her flesh. Before could even form a thought of concern, Toni sat up and whipped her oversized t-shirt up and over her head and threw it somewhere in the direction of her bathroom. She then scooted back on the bed to a spot between his legs to try to get her shorts off as quickly as possible.

It only took her kicking him in the side once for Sam to sit up and still Toni's hands and legs. He laughed as he claimed her lips in a reassuring kiss. "Slow down Toni… There's no need to resort to physical violence… Yet."

Toni let out a sound that was a perfect cross between a laugh and a sob as she replied against Sam's ear, "I've missed you so much."

The raw emotion in Toni's voice caught Sam slightly off guard so he wrapped his arms around her body to hug her against him tightly. He had half expected her to protest, but much to his surprise her arms unfolded from between them so that she could cling to him like her life depended on it. Sam then started to run his hands up and down her back in anticipation of any impending tears so he could comfort her, but all he felt at first was Toni's blunt nails digging into his back as she tried to pull him even closer to her.

After a few moments Sam was completely mystified that Toni didn't breakdown at all, instead she started to massage his shoulder blades as she kissed his neck and jaw. When he felt that she was totally distracted, Sam wrapped Toni's legs around his waist. She paused mid-kiss against his neck but before she could speak, Sam rolled them over so that Toni was the one who was laying down against the mattress. She let out a quiet, breathy laugh as her back bounced against her bed. Sam gave her a brief predatory grin before he dove down to suck on of her nipples between his lips.

Toni's hands immediately found the back of Sam's head to press his mouth more firmly against her breast. Her fingers got tangled in Sam's locks when he pulled back and away from the flesh that he had practically been devouring. When he felt Toni's fingers flex and then relax, Sam slowly brushed his lips down the inside of her breast until he reached the chest bone between her two healthy mounds.

Now it was Toni's turn to moan quietly while her eyes rolled back into the back of her head due to the careful ministrations of her lover's mouth. Sam forced himself not to laugh or grin against Toni's skin as he continued to trail kisses down her torso. When Sam started to nibble at the soft skin under her belly button, Toni's hands fell back onto her comforter while a pleading moan escaped from between her lips.

Sam kept his lips against Toni's skin as he raised his hands up to tug against her shorts. Unlike when Toni was relieving Sam of his jeans and boxers, Toni didn't move her lower half at all to aid Sam in his removal of her shorts. He struggled slightly to shimmy the flannel fabric down her legs but he didn't voice any complaints because he could feel Toni relaxing even deeper against her bed as he stripped her out of her last piece of clothing.

Once he had her shorts at her knees, Sam backed off from lavishing her flesh with open mouthed kisses so that he could pull them off the rest of the way with ease. This time it was Toni's turn to show her impatience by pushing Sam off of her just enough that she could kick her shorts off her heel and the edge of the bed. When she was done Toni stared up at Sam from where she was holding him at arm's length above her and they both began to pant in their breaths because of their mutual desire and anticipation.

Staring into Toni's too close eyes Sam smiled then whispered, "Sorry… Just give me a second and then we'll get you back on top."

"NO!" Toni answered quickly as her legs wrapped around his hips. Her right hand slipped in-between their bodies so that she could once again get a firm grip on Sam's hardened member. She stroked his length slowly a couple of times as she said just over a whisper, "No, you've more than earned this… Just… Oh God Sam… Just make love to me? Please? I've missed you so much."

Sam kissed her forehead then replied against it, "I missed you too Toni. I'm sorry that it took me this long to come back to you. I swear that I didn't mean to be away so long…"

"I know," Toni breathed out against his mouth as her hand guided him to her awaiting heat. "I know Sam, so no more apologies… Let's just make love."

As soon as Sam's flesh felt the comforting wet warmth of Toni's canal, Sam's hips bucked forward more forcefully than he had anticipated. Toni moaned loudly letting Sam know that she was primed enough that he wouldn't hurt her so he pressed his hips forward hard so that she had taken his length in just two firm thrusts. Sam paused there and just stared down at the blissed out expression on Toni's face while neither of them attempted to move their lower halves at all.

Toni's eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled almost shyly as she stared into Sam's beautiful eyes. He leaned down slowly to claim her lips in a slow soft embrace. Toni returned his kisses at the same pace and didn't try to deepen or quicken the movement of their mouths at all. Considering that Sam was still fully sheathed inside her and they were both beyond worked up, their kissing remained fairly chaste and innocent. Toni let her hands run up and down Sam's back at a pace that matched their lips perfectly until her right hand traveled up to the back of his head. Sam hesitated slightly when Toni unconsciously squeezed a fistful of his hair painfully, but that only lasted for a brief second. Once Sam's lips started moving again, Toni's fingers started to comb their way through Sam's locks comfortingly.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips as her left hand joined her right hand to push his hair out of his face.

Sam's hips pulled back and then thrust forward sharply a couple of times causing Toni's head to flop back while she let out a contented sigh. For a few moments Toni thought that Sam hadn't hear her declaration of love because his hips kept moving until they reached a pace where she had to move her hips in a matching motion so that she wouldn't chafe or get hurt in any other way despite her feeble protests.

"Sam… Sam… Sammmmm… Oh God… SAM!" She chanted until she was nearly screaming during her climax.

Toni went completely limp under Sam as she came down from her high. Sam's hips maintained their overly exuberant pace and Toni could only moan softly in response to his continued efforts. When Toni started to think that she couldn't take it anymore and she was about to beg him to stop, Sam's thighs slowed their pace significantly and his thrust became longer and stronger. The change of Sam's rhythm caused Toni to feel another orgasm building quickly in her loins. She wanted to participate in bring about both of their climaxes, but her legs still felt like jelly so she just let Sam maintain the reigns to bring them both to their ultimate completion.

By the time her second orgasm hit, Toni couldn't find the breath it took  to make any sound and her throat felt hoarse. Her mouth gaped open with a soundless scream and the fluttering walls against Sam's tender flesh caused Sam to thrust one last time, almost painfully hard as he groaned into her comforter just over her shoulder. Toni once again went completely boneless under Sam's now near dead weight as he settled against her body in the afterglow of his climax.

Toni thought that Sam was so blissed out that he was going to fall asleep against her and suffocate her, but couldn't do anything to struggle against him. Suddenly he pushed his palms into her mattress in a half push up so he could look into her face saying quietly and reverently, "And I love you."

                                                                            **********************************************************************

When the sun hit her face to wake her up, Toni wasn't all that surprised to find herself alone in bed. She had already come to terms long ago with the fact that she required more sleep than any man in her life right now, but she still felt slightly saddened that she didn't get to steal a few minutes (or hours) to just snuggle with Sam in bed. Sure the sex was still hot and beyond satisfying, but she secretly wished that she could have stolen a moment alone with him to just hold each other. If it turned into them being able to talk about everything that had happened while they were apart, well… Okay Toni had been banking on the time alone to find out the truth about what Sam had been through, but as she stared at his bag where he had dumped it by her bathroom door, another thought shocked her into full wakefulness.

 _Oh fuck! Dad's alone with Sam and Dean!_ She thought to herself as she shot up into a sitting position. _Shit! Shit! What are they going to tell the Colonel about…? Fuck! I have to get down there like yesterday!_

After the fastest shower she had ever taken in her life, Toni was running down the stairs still prying a t-shirt over her head that her long, wet ponytail would be drying itself against. She stumbled slightly on the stairs, so she forced herself to pause until she had her head and arms through their holes of the garment to avoid doing something stupid like injuring herself while getting dressed. When she had finished smoothing down the front of her shirt she looked up to meet the face of her eldest brother Alex who was sporting his patented cocky smirk.

She fondly remembered the day that their brother Will had captured this candid moment in time, but she had no idea that her dad knew that this picture even existed. Alex had come home unexpectedly, well at least to Toni. He and Will had planned to surprise her by showing up in their driveway to help Will celebrate his acceptance into the Navy. Unbeknownst to Toni and her parents, her brothers had conspired to keep his visit a secret so she was beyond stunned to see Alex's truck parked at their house the day after Will had shown the rest of his family the letter that told him where and when he was expected to report for training. Toni still maintained that she had run out to Alex's truck solely because she was concerned for his well-being and not that she missed her eldest brother dearly. They all may have known what she said wasn't the truth, but her brothers also knew that they had raised their sister well enough that she could never allow herself to admit the truth to the out loud. On this day Alex had snuck up behind Toni as she approached his truck and Will had perfectly captured the moment Alex had caught Toni by her neck in a playful head lock as well as the look on Alex's face as he forced Toni's nose into his sweaty (and what he hoped was also smelly) armpit.

Toni had never really seen the look on her brother's face before she landed a defensive punch into his groin to force him to let her go. But now that she was staring into that familiar face that Alex used to give her when he thought that he had gotten one over on her, she couldn't help but chuckle before she petulantly said quietly to the framed photo, "Yuck it up goofball, but when did you ever sack up and bring a girlfriend home for the Colonel to scrutinize?"

The joke had the desired effect because Toni made the rest of her way to the kitchen with a hint of a laugh on her face. Deep down she still felt somewhat apprehensive about seeing the three men together, but she was able to suppress her hesitations when she heard three male voices talking and laughing heartily.

When she finally made it to the kitchen door, Toni found her dad at the stove fussing over something in a pan while the two Winchester brothers were seated at the table laughing and talking with food in their mouths. Toni had a good idea of what the menu of the day was going to be, so she lingered by the doorway in the hopes that she would hear enough of their conversation to join in seamlessly.

"Oh shut up Dean," Sam groused as he threw down a piece of bacon. "There's no way that you knew all of her true motives back then."

Dean smiled cheekily as he bit into Sam's 'discarded' piece of bacon before he replied, "Well that's one perk of being the older brother Sammy… With age comes wisdom and…"

"Dean…" Sam groaned out with a warning tone.

Before Dean could reply with his own smartass response, Tom turned from the stove with a pan in one hand while authoritatively stating, "Boys… Now I know you both believe that you are in the right, but let's get through our breakfast before we hash the rest of this out, okay?" Both Winchesters mumbled out a response to the affirmative as the Colonel placed two pieces of French toast on each of their plates. Once he was settled in a seat beside Dean, Tom shoveled some food into his mouth before he half-mumbled, "But Dean does have a point… Ruby WAS a manipulative demon that seemed to be trying to play you from the beginning."

Thankfully Sam had a mouthful of food so he could only glare at his brother who was laughing quietly at Tom's jab which gave Toni a perfect opportunity to announce her presence. "Hey! Something smells amazing! Dad did you actually make your once a year, only if you're really well behaved, Christmastime French toast?"

"Why yes I did Angel," he replied with a huge smile on his face.

Toni's gaze followed her dad's hand to a plate that was waiting for her beside Sam. Her mouth hung open for a moment before she whispered, "With icing sugar? You… you only let us do that once."

The atmosphere of the room quickly turned form playful to somber at the hint of tears that the men could hear lingering in Toni's words. The Colonel cast his eyes to his plate of food at the glisten of tears in his daughter's eyes. Dean moved only his eyes to stare at his brother to silently demand that he help to ease some of the tension in the room. The elder Winchester had been thoroughly enjoying his breakfast and wanted nothing more than to continue savoring it, but he was actually kind of afraid to move because he thought that that might tip the scales and cause Toni to break down.

Sam resisted the urge to sigh and roll his eyes at his brother's apparent selfishness, but he still reached over towards Toni's plate of food with the intention of picking it up and using some playful teasing to coax her to sit down with them. As soon as his fingers got close to touching Toni's plate, Sam's hand froze in its place and his head whipped around to stare at the spot where a fork had come into contact with the back of his hand.

Not even trying to hide his dismay, Sam raised his eyes to look at where Toni was now standing. She pressed the utensil more firmly into his hand without actually trying to draw blood to make sure his hand didn't move as she slipped into her seat. Toni didn't let up the pressure on the fork until she had pulled her plate closer to herself and safely away from him. When she was satisfied that no one else could touch her breakfast, Toni dropped the fork to pick up a piece of her French toast to take a healthy bite out of it.

After swallowing her mouthful, Toni smiled at Sam saying, "I love you, but I haven't waited twenty five years for Dad to make me my French toast like this just to let someone steal it away from me without some bloodshed." Sam's eyes twinkled with the smile that he was forcing himself not to give her because he could tell that she wasn't finished with her declaration. "And I'm totally with you Sammy. That manipulative bitch was a damn good liar and it was beyond below the belt for her to use saving your brother to get in your pants when she really couldn't. I would have fallen for it too if she offered to get me my brothers back." Dean scoffed somewhat indignantly causing Toni to turn her attention to him. She then pointed the piece of toast she had been raising to her lips to say, "That being said, when the truth did come out, I would have stabbed that lying whore in the face with a smile on my face." Toni then put her food down and turned to her father with a doe-eyed expression. "I apologize for the vulgar language Colonel. It's a poor way of showing you my appreciation for this amazing breakfast. I hope that you can forgive me Sir."

The Colonel stared at his daughter with a blank look on his face because he knew that the ball was now in his court. The way that he reacted to his daughter's dialogue would either lighten or darken the atmosphere in the room. This had been an exercise that he and Toni had played out numerous times in their counselor's office, but this was the first time that they had ever tried to do it at home, let alone doing it with 'outsiders' involved.

After putting down his knife and fork on the table with a deliberate slowness, Tom wiped his mouth and hands on a napkin then said, "Well… ANTONIA… I have to say… That black eyed skank got off too easily after screwing with these two… In my humblest opinion."

The severely serious tone that the Colonel had used during his response had caused everyone but Toni to freeze in their spot and brace for the worst. She could see the mildly panicked looks on the brothers' faces so Toni elbowed Sam in the ribs teasing, "Shit… I thought Cas fixed you. Did he forget to give you back your sense of humor?" Sam continued to scowl at her as if he didn't understand her question prompting Toni to push her plate towards Sam saying, "If I offered you some of my coveted French toast, would you believe me then that we were just trying to yank your chains?"

Sam finally laughed softly and let the tension release from his shoulders as he pushed her plate back towards Toni answering, "No that's okay. I wouldn't want to deprive you of enjoying your meal since you've waited so long for it."

Just before Toni could reclaim her plate, Dean's hand shot out to grasp her wrist to pull the plate closer to him saying, "Hey wait! Sammy isn't the only one that had been traumatized by your antics; maybe that decadent delight might help to ease some of my pain."

"Dean…" Sam sighed out in exasperation while missing the playful look that passed between his brother and girlfriend.

The Colonel immediately noticed the fact that the youngest Winchester hadn't picked up on the sarcasm the other three of them were using, He then abruptly stood up and said with a chuckle, "Or I could just make another batch of French toast and sprinkle some icing sugar on it, but… Honestly I thought you all would have grown out of this phase by now."

Dean whipped around in his seat to face the older man's back proclaiming, "Oooh fresh hot toast instead of Toni's cold half-eaten meal? That's a plan that I can back any day Colonel… I mean Tom."

While Dean and her dad continued their good natured banter, Toni leaned over to grab Sam's hand and run her thumb over his new wound quietly asking, "Are you okay? You seem tense."

"Really?" Sam countered incredulously. "Did you three plan this routine out just to torture me?"

Toni grinned brightly around the large piece of toast in her mouth before she swallowed and answered, "No… Dad and I are just that good and Dean's apparently more relaxed here now so he joined in…" Toni quickly checked that the other two men weren't watching them so that she could kiss Sam quickly. "Seriously Sam… Dad and Dean seem cool so everything's working out. We can all just relax now."

The sound of the other two men laughing briefly captured Sam's attention momentarily, but he quickly turned back to Toni smiling as he replied, "Yeah you're right… I guess we can."

                                                                      **************************************************************************

"Are you sure this place is Toni's favorite?" Dean asked yet again as he stared into the paper take-out bag. "I mean isn't she kind of a health nut like you?"

Sam smacked his brother's hand replying, "Yes it is… And Paulie doesn't let anyone but Toni get take-out from him, so can you please keep the bag closed so that all of the heat doesn't leak out? It isn't the burgers fault that Meg's call put you on edge."

Dean gave Sam an unimpressed look but he still folded the opening of the bag over a couple of time and placed it on the floor of the car behind their seat. He then opened his mouth to give his younger brother a piece of his mind when he was stopped by the sound of his cellphone ringing. He gave Sam another warning look, almost as if he thought that Sam had caused his phone to right for the sole purpose of keeping him from getting his ass chewed out, but he still answered his phone with his usual gruff, "Hello."

While Dean spoke on the phone, the only thing Sam was sure of was that it was a guy named 'Garth' that was on the other end of the conversation. It took him a moment to be able to place the name to a face or job and when he did, Sam visibly winced. If it was the same 'Garth' as that job with… In Delaware then Sam would have been more than grateful if he hadn't actually been able to place the name at all.

Sam remained lost in his own thoughts while Dean spoke with the other hunter. The sound of Dean's phone clicking closed cause Sam to snap back into full consciousness. He then turned his head almost reluctantly to look at Dean. To his surprise he was met with an apologetic, somewhat sad look causing Sam to breath out a long sigh before saying, "Fine, but our bags are back at their place, so can we wait to leave until after we have dinner with them?"


	42. To Tame Your Wild Wild Heart

_**Sam slowly raised just his eyes from the clothes that he was folding to try to sneak a peek at the woman who was sitting on the opposite side of the bed. Toni had her bent knees pressed to her chest with her arms wrapped around her shins and her right cheek pressed hard into her thighs so that she could what Sam pack. Thankfully her faraway gaze seemed to be fixated on the bag that he was packing so she hadn't busted him on checking up on her once again. He wanted to ask her if she really was alright with him and Dean leaving to help with this hunt, but he knew better than to question her about it since she had already given her, albeit unenthusiastic, go ahead while also asserting that Sam didn't have to ask her for permission to do his job.** _

_**Sam kept his eyes on Toni for so long that his hands had completely stopped moving. A few moments after Sam had abandoned his packing, Toni's eyes rolled up to check on what had captured Sam's attention so completely. The moment that her eyes met his, Toni sighed and hugged her arms  even more tightly against her chest.** _

" _ **Seriously Sam, I'm fine with you guys going," Toni said as she sat up straight and turned to face Sam with her legs now crossed. "It's all part and parcel of the hunting life, right? I knew that coming into this relationship, so who would I be to bitch about it now? So please stop worrying about me and finish packing, okay? Dean's just going to get antsy and that's going to make for a really uncomfortable car ride for you and neither of us wants you to have to endure that."**_

_**Toni's joke nearly fell on deaf ears, but Sam did manage to give her a tight smile to acknowledge it. He then returned to his task of packing with a deep frown etched on his face. She knew that her joke wasn't overly witty or funny, heck she knew it rated nothing more than a disbelieving groan, but she hadn't expected Sam to react so negatively which was worse than if he hadn't reacted to it at all. While she watched his scowling face Toni couldn't help but question if she had read this situation the wrong way. Was she supposed to have kicked up a fuss and demanded that he stay here with her because she didn't feel they had spent enough time together? (That would have been easy for her to do because she really did wish that they could have had more time together.) As his girlfriend was she supposed to demand that he ask for her input before he made any decisions that were either life or work related? Was that what Sam had wanted her to do, but instead he just got the same old unconventional, aloof Toni? Had her not being 'the girl' finally annoyed him?** _

**No,** _**Toni told herself with a shake of her head. That wasn't them, nor had that ever been how their relationship had ever worked, and last she checked their relationship was working. Sam was with her because of who she was and that was not the stereotypical girl who was clingy and demanding beyond wanting open, honest discourse between them and she was with Sam for all of the same reasons. They knew each other's flaws, but they chose to focus not on the attributes they might want to change in the other person. Instead they relied on the strengths that their partner possessed to help them get through the rough patches of their lives. That was what had always helped them stay in synch, so why was she now staring at her boyfriend's unhappy face without the smallest hint of a clue as to what she could say to him to make things between them better before he left?** _

_**Slowly and carefully Toni uncrossed her legs and then got down on all fours to crawl across the mattress to kneel in front of Sam. Sam made sure to keep his eye on his hands that hadn't dared to pause while neatly folding his clothes and placing them into his bag. Toni knew that it was a fine line that they both walked to keep their relationship in near perfect balance and she was aware that she could easily scare Sam into submission, but that wasn't the type of partnership that she wanted. Plus she hadn't been anything but supportive and accommodating about helping him do his laundry so that he and Dean could get packed up and back on the road as soon as possible so why was he looking like a puppy that was cowering in the corner after being kicked?** _

" _ **Sam?" She whispered as she raised her hand to tuck his hair behind his left ear so she could see his face better. Sam flinched, albeit ever so slightly, but Toni would not be deterred. She had to make sure that their balance was restored before he left or she knew that they could pretty much kiss this relationship goodbye. If he left now on bad terms then she foresaw them drifting further and further apart in the not too distant future until they were reliving the last few months that they had spent at Stanford together.**_

" _ **Sam? No bull… I'm totally okay with you guys leaving to work a job. And hey… We actually got a full three days here together this time, which is an improvement from the last time you were here." She raised her left hand to his face to force him to look up from his bag and into her face. "Your expertise is needed to figure this case out so that no one else dies, so I would never think of stopping you just because I want you as close to me as possible."**_

_**Sam still wouldn't voluntarily make eye contact with her so Toni straightened up to place a feather light, reassuring kiss on his lips. When Sam didn't reciprocate in anyway, she reluctantly dropped her hands from his face as she sat back on her feet. She started to reach back up to touch his cheek, but paused mid-air when he tilted his chin towards his chest and stuttered in a shaky breath.** _

" _ **Sam? What is it? What aren't you telling me about this job that has you so spooked?" She asked wrapping her arms around his neck and rubbing her cheek against his. "Please Sam? I can't let you leave until I know."**_

_**Her arms tightened slightly as he laughed self-consciously. Toni almost released her hold on Sam, but she decided to stay as she was when she felt Sam's arms wrap around her torso. Holding each other seemed like a good start for opening up and telling each other the brutal truth, so Toni pushed Sam's bag with her knee until it fell to the floor and left nothing in their way to keep them from pressing their bodies together.** _

_**Toni ran her fingers through Sam's hair and she turned her face to kiss any part of his head that she could reach. "Sam… Sammy… Sam… Please… Please talk to me… Please?"** _

_**After issuing another quiet sigh, Sam squeezed Toni uncomfortably tight for a second before releasing her completely. Contrary to her true nature, Toni wanted to cling to him, but she forced herself to let him go and sit back on her feet again so that she could look him in the face while he struggled to decide what he was going to say to answer her plea.** _

_**Sam nodded slightly in gratitude of her letting him have some space. When he to pace in front of her, Toni slumped back on the bed again with her hands in her lap. "So…" He finally said without looking up from the imaginary path he was tracing on her carpet. "So… It isn't the job itself that's weirding me out, it's… Umm… It's more the person who called and has us dropping everything to run to his side and help him."** _

_**This time it was Toni's turn to frown and scowl in response to Sam's words. She carefully unfolded her right and then her left leg so that she was sitting with her legs hanging over the edge of the mattress with her hands clasped and placed politely inn her lap. She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't slow down her thoughts enough to choose on single question to ask so she opted to remain silent. Better mute than to sound angry or accusatory, which is what she feared that she would sound like if she started rattling off every question that had formed in her head in the last minute.** _

_**Toni's continued silence caused Sam to abandon his pacing so that he could better examine her reaction. He had expected her to jump down his throat with a hundred and one questions about who they were helping and why this person made him so nervous, but right now he was just met with a quiet Toni who was sitting at the edge of her bed with a patient look on her face while she waited for him to continue. Without her questions to answer Sam wasn't really sure what to say. Well that wasn't the full truth; it was more like he didn't know where to start so that he could tell her everything.** _

_**The two of them ended up just staring at each other while they squirmed in their spots and waited for the other to speak. Sam's cheeks started to redden and he broke their eye contact first under the weight of his embarrassment. Toni's cheeks burned slightly under her own blush when she realized that Sam was expecting her to make the next move to keep the discourse going between the two of them right now.** _

_**Toni took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she cautiously asked, "So who is this…? Umm… Hunter, right?" Sam nodded to let Toni know she was on the right track. She felt some of the tension release from her shoulders because Sam feeling weary about helping a civilian seemed worse than if he was worried about helping another hunter. "Okay… Good… So why is working with this hunter putting you on edge? I mean if he's that big of a dick then maybe…" She let herself trail off there and just shrugged instead of completing her thought.** _

_**Sam huffed out a breath and took a couple of steps forward so that he was standing directly in front of Toni. She kept her eyes on his feet causing Sam to gently grasp her chin to tug on it and force her face up to look him in the eye as he said, "It's not that… Well not that exactly…" He let go of her face and when she didn't try to turn it away Sam resumed his pacing while he continued his explanation. "I mean I haven't really spent all that much time with him in order to make that judgment call… But then again I guess he doesn't really seem like that bad of a guy…"** _

_**Although she didn't think that she was capable of it, Toni scowled even harder in confusion. She opened her mouth to ask 'if he isn't that bad a guy then what with the frowny face', but she quickly closed it without uttering a single sound. Sam knew that his comment wouldn't make sense to Toni and he couldn't help but smile at the look on her face at that moment.** _

" _ **It's just," he tried again with a great deal of hesitation. "Well… The last and only time I worked with him was… Umm… Was on that job… In Delaware."**_

_**Toni's head shot up and she met Sam's worried gaze as she blurted out a soft yet astonished, "Delaware? You don't…? That doesn't…? She won't…?"** _

_**Sam sat down beside Toni and took one of her hands between both of his as he answered, "No, I'm pretty sure that she won't… I mean… When Dean talked to him, it sounded like he was alone… And I… Uhh… I don't think he's kept in contact with her, but I… Umm… I just wanted you to know that he was the one we were heading off to meet."** _

_**Toni kept her eyes on her hand that was engulfed in both of Sam's larger mitts. For a brief moment she silently marveled at how tiny she felt compared to her boyfriend and forgot about what they had been discussing. No one in her life had ever felt this physically imposing without them having had to emotionally stunt her first. Even though her brothers, Alex and Will, were both close to being a decade older than her, neither of them had ever tried to use their size to intimidate her or to force her to do whatever they wanted, well at least not in earnest. Whenever Alex tried to force Toni to do anything it was usually completely in jest because he wanted to help to raise a sister that would defend herself against any douchebag that would try to harm a woman to get their way. But it wasn't truly like she felt that Sam was trying to do that right now either. She knew that Sam was more than capable of using his height and muscular physique to his advantage at any time, but she was more than grateful that she had never found herself on the receiving end of that display. That was why it felt so weird that she had noticed how physically imposing Sam was right now.** _

_**After shaking her head hard a couple of time, Toni finally said, "Okay I get that, but why are you acting so weird about leaving?"** _

_**After exhaling long and soft, Sam squeezed Toni's hand and replied (more to himself than to her), "Because I'm an idiot."** _

_**Toni pulled Sam closer so that she could hug him properly as she countered against his chest, "No you aren't an idiot, you're just overly cautious."** _

_**Sam tried to push out of Toni's embrace, but she just wrapped her arms even tighter around him in response to his movements. He then finally forced himself to relax, however minutely it actually was, in her arms. After a moment he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's back and then he kissed the top of her head and just let his lips remain lightly pressed to the hair at the crown of her head while he savored the last moments together that they would have since they hadn't discussed when they would meet up again.** _

_**Toni could feel Sam's lips placing reverent kissed to her head while she started to say in a strained tone that she had hoped would sound playful, "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy… Just because he was associated to a job involving your number one psycho fan doesn't mean that every job you work with him will involve her… Don't punish him for her being completely bat shit crazy, okay?"** _

_**Sam placed a long, strong kiss to the crown of her head before he moved his lips to the skin of her forehead to place a few feather-light kisses across it. "Okay… But I just need you to know that it was Garth who we were swooping in to rescue on this job despite how we might feel about him."** _

" _ **Despite?" Toni questioned with a playful edge to her voice as she pushed back against Sam's chest. "So now you just put people into the 'villain' category because of the questionable company they may or may not be keeping? Come on Winchester, you know that we need a much better reason than that to distrust someone sight unseen, now don't we soldier?"**_

_**Sam's lips pulled back into a genuine smile for the first time since the two of them had returned to Toni's room with the basketful of his clean laundry causing Toni's heart to swell. He was finally talking with her about what was on his mind and she was now feeling like when he left that it would just be like it had been when the two of them had parted ways for any other hunt. They would have their balance restored and neither of them would try to find any stupid reasons to avoid each or to make excuses for why it took them so long to get back to each other when they missed a call or tried to ignore a text. No, now things were going to be set straight and Toni couldn't have been happier.** _

" _ **Yeah I guess you're right," Sam finally answered. "Maybe I should at least wait until I've shared a meal or two with him before I pass my final judgment."**_

" _ **At least," Toni laughed out softly before she kissed Sam again and crawled over his legs to straddle his lap. She wrapped her arms and legs around his neck and waist respectively and then she broke their kiss by sitting up straight on his thighs. She made sure to give him a reassuring smile to keep him from even entertaining the thought of becoming worried about her or what she was now thinking. Sam allowed himself to remain relaxed as he tried his best to mirror Toni's facial expression while he waited for her to speak again even though inside he still felt uncertain that Toni was feeling as easy going as she was projecting herself to be.**_

_**Toni gripped his head in both of her hands and then ran her thumbs gently ran her thumbs gently back and forth over his eyebrows. Her touch had the desired effect because the deepest crinkle in Sam's forehead softened considerably. His eyes finally closed when she placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips so she moved her mouth beside his left ear to quietly say, "You know… Even though your brother keeps accusing you of being a gigantic nerd, you can be pretty fucking dumb sometimes Winchester."** _

_**Sam wasn't expecting his girlfriend to say something like that so he almost dropped Toni to the floor when he sat back in surprise. Just as soon as he almost dropped Toni, Sam regained his faculties and hugged his arms around her waist once again. She actually giggled like a school girl at the look on Sam's face of chagrin which helped him to take his near faux pas in stride.** _

" _ **Seriously Sam you are way overthinking this and you're making this harder than it has to be," she said while petting the length of his face once again. "Now if you were trying to delay your meticulous packing because you wanted to show me how much you'll miss me… Well then your being this stupid is definitely more than excusable."**_

_**Sam huffed out a laugh as Toni stood up off his lap to retrieve his bag from the floor. Toni still had a warm smile on her face as she replaced a couple articles of clothing that had fallen out of his duffle bag when she kicked it to the floor. Sam continued to silently watch her as she placed his bag on the bed and resumed folding the remnants of his clean laundry. She knew that Sam could be very particular about how his bags were packed, so she just piled his now folded clothes on the bed beside his bag prompting Sam to quietly blurt out, "God I love you Toni."** _

_**Toni stopped mid-motion and dropped the shirt she had been folding on the floor. Sam watched her almost apprehensively as she stalked towards him and stepped in between his legs. His eyes remained open in confusion when she kissed him but he finally released the breath that he had been holding when she said, "You bet your ass you do. Now come on Boyfriend, we've got to get you packed and on the road or you're going to have one cranky brother on your hands and no amount of 'I love you's will help to remedy that."** _

"Toni…? Angel? Are you alright?" The Colonel's concerned voice broke through his daughter's reverie. He gently squeezed the back of her neck and asked, "Have you been able to make heads or tails out of that strange writing Sam sent you? Or is not finding anything the answer to the question 'why do you look so serious'?"

Toni relaxed and snuggled a bit into her father's grasp as she shook her head answering, "No Sir… On both counts." The Colonel gave his daughter's neck another gentle squeeze before he hurriedly found a seat at the kitchen table so that he could see her face while they talked. The weary hunter gave her dad a sad smile and reached across the table to take his hand in hers as she elaborated on her answer. "I was… I was just thinking about the last time Sam and Dean were here… Sam was worried about working the job with Garth but then everything worked out just fine in the end, so… so I was starting to allow myself to hope with everything like Cas healing him and all that that meant they… We were on a upward, positive trend, but…"

"But what Angel?" He prompted as he gently shook her hand against the tabletop.

Toni slowly pulled her hand back and then pointed to the books strewn all over their kitchen table with the pen she had in her hand saying, "But then they had another run-in with Dick Roman… And then they stole that stupid rock from the king Leviathan that house that dumb ancient looking tablet with idiotic characters from no known language on the planet… Or at least from what I can tell it isn't… And that's with me checking into dead languages too. I… I don't know, but it's just starting to feel…"

Without finishing that thought, Toni just shook her head and turned it down to make it look like she was reading from the open book that lay between her elbows. In reality she was actually just staring at the pages with her eyes unnaturally wide while she willed away the tears that were trying to form. She was constantly trying her damnedest not to let the frustration get the best of her, but lately it was getting harder and harder to suppress.

The strained silence spoke volumes to the Colonel so he soundlessly moved his chair closer to his daughter's side. Much to his surprise and her chagrin, Toni jumped slightly when her dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Toni hated that her father surprised her like that, however she didn't hesitate to mold herself against his side when he hugged her tightly and kiss the top of her head.

"But it's starting to feel like the opposition is mounting an even stronger front and you feel like you've lost some of the ground you had gained?" He asked just over a whisper against Toni's hair.

She nodded against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist so that she could pull herself even tighter against his body. "Yeah… Something like that… But hearing the latest about Bobby, it… I mean it was bad when they told me that he had… That we had lost him, but now… Well it felt worse than a punch to the gut when Sam was telling me that…" She sniffled back a sob and continued with an even tone, "We created the perfect pyre, they salted his… We followed the ceremony to the letter to make sure that he went out with a proper hunter's funeral… It shouldn't even be possible for him to have become a vengeful spirit, right? I mean that's not fair. We followed the rules so his spirit should be free and be resting in peace, right?"

"Oh Antonia… My Angel… All of that is most definitely the truth, but Sweetheart…? I think we both know all too well that life just isn't always fair and…" He paused there when he felt his daughter shudder and let out an almost inaudible sob. I took him a couple of uncomfortable swallows before he could find his voice again. "But that doesn't me that we don't keep fighting against our enemies with all our might." He continued in a hushed voice. "It also means that we sometimes have to re-group to re-evaluate our strategy to find the best front for us to attack to weaken our enemy's forces."

"I don't know if I can," Toni whispered against her dad's chest. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it anymore."

For a few moments Tom let his daughter cry softly against his chest while he just held her tightly against his torso. Since she was clinging so tightly to his shirt, Toni's father couldn't push his daughter back far enough, heck he couldn't move her at all, to look her in the eye when he wanted to impart his next words of wisdom. As a compromise he moved his mouth beside her ear so that he could be sure that she would hear him when he whispered, "That's why I pray and thank God every day that He hasn't left you to fight this battle alone. We're all here to support you Toni in any way that we can."

                                                                     *******************************************************************************

"DAD!" Toni called out breathlessly once she made it through the open door of the townhouse. She had been out on her daily run when she received news that had caused her to sprint home at an uncomfortable pace in order to get there as quickly as possible. The end result was that she was breathless, had sweat dripping off of her chin and her leg muscles quaked so vigorously that they almost gave out on her while she walked towards the den. At the doorway of the TV room she clung to the door's frame as she panted out, "Dad… I… I ran… Into… Yvette… You… You needed… To… To… See me?"

"Oh goodness Angel, I didn't mean to scare you," Tom replied as he quickly turned off the TV and nearly threw the remote onto their coffee table.

Toni tried to give her dad an easy smile, but she was still breathing too heavily to pull such a move off. In her continued efforts to appear nonchalant, even though her sprinting home until she was nearly about to pass out from exhaustion, Toni moved to sit beside her father to her usual place on the couch. Unfortunately the strain she had put on her muscles decided to catch up with her all at once right at that moment causing her knees to buckle. Before she could fall because of her noodle-like legs, Toni found herself being caught in her dad's strong arms.

"Antonia Wayne," he good-naturedly chastised her as he helped Toni to her original destination of the couch. "What am I going to do with you my little Angel?" Toni shrugged and ground the heels of her hands into her thighs as she tried to work out some of the knots that were currently forming in her quad muscles. Her father couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of Toni's head before he sat down beside her on the couch. "I take it from your red, sweaty face and hyperventilating breaths that Yvette told you a little bit more than the simple message of the fact that Sam called, huh?"

Still running her hands up and down her thighs, Toni nodded but didn't say anything aloud. Her dad's eyebrows started to turn down in confusion when he saw the barest hint of tears in her eyes while she pointedly stared at her feet.

"Sweetheart… What did Yvette say to you that has you so upset?" Her father implored while stilling her hands to hug her tightly.

Toni shook her head and quickly wiped away an involuntary tear that had fallen from her eye. Before she attempted to speak, she slipped out of her father's embrace so that she could sit up straight and face her dad properly when she spoke. "It isn't so much what she said as it was the look on her face when I tried to call her out on the fact that she was withholding information from me. But then again, I think you more than anyone know how she is about giving anyone too much information about a premonition that she has only experienced once."

"They're usually so vague that can easily be misinterpreted, so she doesn't like to give away too many details in case she's putting too much of her own bias into what she saw," her dad replied with a sad smile on his face. He knew all too well how frustrating it could be living with someone who caught small glimpses of their future that didn't really mean anything because they were always given without context. "Just like she did when she had that vision of Sam standing at the alter awaiting his bride in Las Vegas and…"

"And she thought that he and I were eloping without letting you know or having you be a part of the ceremony," Toni interrupted with a soft laugh. The idea of either her or Sam getting married, without being coerced by some sort of supernatural power, still seemed too ridiculous for Toni to fathom without laughing out loud hysterically most days. Although lately Toni had caught herself wondering if there ever could be a time when that would seem like a more tangible ideal. Sam had thought so once, but he had abandoned that dream when the Yellow Eyed Demon killed the woman who had been the co-star in those dreams. But could there ever be a time when Toni could slip in and become Sam's leading lady in a story of life long domestic bliss? Toni was beyond certain that there wouldn't be, but the fact that even a tiny part of her hoped that it could exist was beyond troubling to her, so she tried her best to just not think about it… Much.

"Yes that most definitely was an unfortunate misinterpretation of the scene she had envisioned," her dad answered with a tone filled with regret. "But she truly is sorry for thinking the worst, but Toni… What did Yvette actually SAY to you today? I don't believe for one second that it was just a look from her that upset you this badly. I know you aren't that sensitive, even when it comes to the subject of that boyfriend of yours."

Toni huffed out a sigh at being called out so directly by her father then said, "All that she would actually say was that I should get back here as soon as possible and she apologized for that meaning that I would have to cut my run short. When I tried to press her for a reason why it was so urgent, she got really teary eyed and she refused to look me in the eye at all. Hell she actually tried to walk away from me without acknowledging my question, but she did actually stop when I grabbed her by the arm to force her to stay…It took a little bit of prodding and she wouldn't look up from her feet when she spoke, but she did eventually say, 'You should be with Sam Antonia.'. Just like that… With my full name and all. Seriously what's going on Dad?"

"She said 'be with Sam'?" Her father repeated. "Be with him in what way? Did she mean physically or metaphorically? Although you two are a couple, so what else did she mean?"

Toni shrugged replying, "I asked her the same things… Well not in so many words, but all that she would add to it was that I really needed to get home as fast as I could to talk to you. Then she… Well after that she started to cry and then she just walked away towards her townhouse so I figured that that meant that you had some really bad news for me. So please, please, please Dad, give it to me straight because I've had enough of the vague, touchy feely crap… What did I miss while I was out on my run? Pleeeease…"

"Oh Angel," her dad said with a small reluctant smile tugging at his lips. He would never actually admit it out loud, but he secretly loved it when his daughter sounded so young and small because it gave him the chance to be the sage protector he had never been during her actual youth. He gently petted her hair to try to comfort her and said, "I can definitely see why hearing something like that would have worried you so much, but Toni… Sweetheart, I… I don't have any devastating news to tell you… Well nothing more Earth shattering than the fact that you've missed a couple of phone calls from Sam and possibly a text message or two."

"Okay… So I've missed a call or two from my boyfriend… I get that, but there's got be something I'm missing here… What else is there?"

The frantic look in his daughter's eyes caused Tom to pull her into another proper, tight hug because he didn't want her to see how much this was actually amusing him. He let his hand start to run down the length of her hair and that reaction caused Toni to stiffen completely in his arm while she braced herself for the worst. Sure her father had confirmed that Sam was alright, but that didn't mean that there wasn't another reason that Yvette had had a vision about a situation where Sam would need Toni's support in person more than ever. Although she was madly in love with Sam, he wasn't the only Winchester that she cared about and would be devastated if the worst were to happen to him.

The Colonel immediately noticed how tense his daughter had become in his arms, so he made sure to remind himself not to drag out his explanation any longer than he already had. He kept petting Toni's hair as he moved his face beside her ear to whisper, "And he misses you too… And he was wanting to know if you had made any progress with the translations that the prophet came up with from the tablet… And I heard Dean in the background talking with someone, but I couldn't tell with whom or what topic they were discussing."

Toni shuddered but managed not to sob and then she slumped against her father feeling completely numb with relief. Whatever Yvette had 'seen' had nothing to do with the case that she was currently working with the Winchesters, or at least it didn't seem to immediately have anything to do with it, so her fears had been all for nothing. Well at least for now they did, who knew what was coming next. Well Yvette might have some insight on that subject, but she wasn't talking about it and Toni was more than happy not to be given any disjointed previews.

Without saying a word in reply, Toni wrapped her arms around her father to match the intensity of his embrace. Then the McNamara's just held each other in total (and comfortable) silence. Soon she would be on the road to meet up with Sam and his brother to help them figure out the last bits of this conundrum that they had found themselves in with the help of a prophet and angel. Soon she would be neck high in monsters and other creatures that she had once believed were just the figments of someone's imagination that they had shared with the world through writing fanciful works of fiction. Soon she might be looking into the face of death with no way to save herself or the people she loved. Soon a million other things could go terribly and irrevocably wrong, but for right now she was safe and secure in her father's arms and she couldn't find it in herself to be in a rush to push those feelings aside. She especially didn't want to since leaving the safe haven of her father's home meant that she was going to be facing a monster from Purgatory that none of them were even sure that they could kill and had already proven that he knew where to hit them where it hurt the most.

No, for now Toni was more than happy to pretend that the domestic bliss she was feeling with her father at this moment was her one and only reality. Yvette could keep her secrets and Sam could continue missing her, but for now no one existed outside of the man that had become the truest pillar of support in her life.


	43. I Know You Feel Like The Walls Are Closing In On You

" _Okay… We'll see you in a bit then… Thanks again for staying behind."_

Toni hung up her phone as she made the last turn to put her on the driveway to the cabin that had become a makeshift home base for herself and the Winchesters. She once again tried to remind herself that she had nothing to feel guilty about right now. She had volunteered to stay behind with the maid that Bobby's ghost had possessed at the hospital because her face had never been plastered all over every media outlet available in the free world with the headline 'Serial Killer Still at Large' and the maid also didn't seem to be as freaked out to be around her as she was with the brothers. The Winchesters still needed to maintain a somewhat low profile, so she was more than happy to be the 'public face' of their trio when the need ever arose, although she secretly hoped that that role wouldn't be all that popular for her to play in the near future. True she wasn't a huge fan of hospitals (but let's be honest, was there anyone who could honestly say that they liked having to go to the hospital?) but she figured that it would be the least awkward place to be since she was sure that the fallout from the brothers finding out that Bobby wasn't just well on his way to becoming a full blown vengeful spirit, but that his single minded hatred for Dick Roman was so severe that he had no qualms with forcing an innocent civilian into the thick of things and he seems oblivious to the fact that he would be putting them in harm's way just to try to satisfy his own bloodlust.

A quick shudder ran through Toni's body as she parked her truck at the thought of being possessed. She absentmindedly scratched at the tattoo on her right shoulder blade and she still felt like ice water had been flushed through her veins because her ink was only effective against demon possession. As far as she had learned so far angels had to ask for your permission to take you on a vessel (and that was only if you so happened to have been born into a family of the proper bloodline, which Toni thanked God that she wasn't, so she didn't have to worry about that as far as she knew), demons could possess anyone that they chose, but they were barred from doing that with the right charm (or tattoo) but she had yet to find anything written about something that could prevent a spirit from taking over a human's body. Well salt and iron could expel them from one's body, but how could that knowledge translate into helping her to keep them from entering her body in the first place?

 _Pure iron jewelry?_ Toni thought to herself as she got out of her truck. After a second or two, she shook her head and admonished herself for allowing herself to be preoccupied with such selfish thoughts (even if it was just a momentary lapse in judgment). _How 'bout you focus on killing these uber-monsters first Toni? Then after all of us have lived through that… Well then we can contemplate tackling the next life and death issue._

When Toni finally reached the front door to the cabin, she hesitated with her hand on the door knob because all that she could hear was Dean's angry voice through the door. She pressed her ear to the wooden door in an attempt to better listen in to the latest argument between the brothers but was somewhat surprised to learn that it wasn't Sam with whom Dean was currently fighting when she overheard, "… So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat! Nobody cares that you're broken Cas! Clean up your mess!"

 _Oh… Oh no… Not good… Not good at all…_ Toni thought as she entered the cabin as silently as was humanly possible.

"You know… We should play Twister," Castiel replied before he disappeared from the room at the blink of an eye.

Toni kept her back plastered to the door while also shaking her head against it. _So not the way to deal with this situation… Shit… Shit… And double shit!_

"…Every one of those things was in Cas?" The demon questioned bringing Toni out of her own faraway thoughts. "He can see past the meat suits."

Sam turned from looking at Meg to face his brother after a thought came to him while he scrutinized the space that the angel had just vacated saying, "So, he'll be able to spot the real… fake Dick Roman."

"Goldstar Sugar pants," Meg praised with a condescending tone. "Too bad he's Fruit Loops. You might have had a chance."

Toni found herself glaring at the demon in the room who was looking all too comfortable as she leaned against a wall while nursing her bottle of beer. For some reason Toni couldn't take her eyes off the other woman in the room as she approached her boyfriend's side. In fact she was so distracted by the dark haired demon that she didn't even hear the loud noise that caused both of the Winchesters to turn and look at a spot on the floor behind her.

Meg pushed herself off the wall with a quick thrust of her hip so that she could move to sit on the couch, so Toni finally forced herself to focus her gaze in Sam's direction. When she noticed that he had his attention focused on something behind her, Toni allowed herself to turn around to find out what was so fascinating. She almost sputtered out a laugh at seeing Castiel sitting on a large Twister game board on the floor because she had almost forgotten how literal the angel could be sometimes.

"Great!" Dean nearly shouted while staring at Castiel with a look of pure rage and contempt. "I need a damn drink before I deal with… with… THAT!"

Dean finished with a wave of the hand in Castiel's direction a fraction of a second before he turned on his heel and stomped towards the fridge. Sam sighed heavily but was stopped from following his brother into the kitchen area by his girlfriend placing a firm grip on his forearm. She made sure to have a sympathetic look on her face when he turned his eyes towards her because she knew that he would look confused and lost about everything that was going on and she wanted him to know that she wasn't trying to place yet another burden on his shoulders.

"Can I maybe talk to you for a minute? Umm… Alone?" Toni asked quietly as she motioned with her head towards the door that she had just come through.

Sam stole a glance at his brother who had his angry eyes laser focused on the angel who was still sitting on the floor. He then looked over at Castiel ad that sight caused his face to completely drop. It appeared that those two men had retreated to their "corners" for the time being and Meg was happily drinking her beer in silence on the couch, so Sam saw no harm in letting his girlfriend to lead him out of the cabin for a private conference. He had no idea how he might even being to find any sort of starting point to remedy the situation between any of them and he was more than willing to hear out any theories or insights that Toni might be able to share with him. At times like these he sometimes wondered if he was too close to the situation to find a solution and maybe just maybe Toni was far enough removed from everything that she would be able to think more clearly in order to see through all the crap he found himself wading through when it came to his brother and their celestial ally.

They ended up sitting on the front door step with Toni tucked up tight against Sam's side and his arms wrapped protectively around her shoulders. For a few minutes Toni allowed herself to just forget everything that was happening in their lives outside of being held in Sam's arms. Right then there was no Leviathans, no vengeful spirits that had been a beloved friend and there was absolutely no reason not to just enjoy a quiet moment together on the porch of their vacation cottage in the woods. Except this place wasn't their vacation cottage, no this was a place left behind to no one in particular after the owner was killed by some strange monster that none of them had ever heard of before his death (or since for that matter).

With that last thought at the forefront of her mind, Toni gave Sam's waist a tight squeeze one last time before she forced herself to push out of his embrace so that she wouldn't lose her nerve. When he felt Toni trying to push herself away from his body, Sam's first instinct was to flex his muscular arm around her shoulders to try to keep her as close as possible to his body. Much to his surprise Toni didn't just cease her movements when she felt Sam do just that, he also felt every single muscle in her body instantly stiffen up completely. Thankfully he understood that her reaction wasn't a form of rejection of his display of affection and that it was her trying to show him her fears that he might think that she was trying to emotionally close herself off from him like she had been prone to do in the past which she had vowed on more than one occasion not to do anymore.

Sam quickly loosened his grip on his girlfriend without completely removing his arm from her body, but Toni showed no signs of relaxing at all. With everything that was going on in the last little while the two of them hadn't had much time to be alone together, like _'together together'_ , and that fact suddenly hit her. She should be feeling that tell-tale itch under her skin and yet that wasn't on her mind at all. Should that worry her or was it a good thing that she kept the job at the forefront of her thoughts? Would Sam think that she didn't really care about him if she wasn't trying to get into his pants like she usually did whenever they had down time together? Well not that this was really 'down time' so maybe he'd understand why she was focused more on the job than on their relationship.

"You wanted to talk alone?" Sam questioned quietly into Toni's ear.

Toni had been staring out at nothing and jumped at the sound of Sam's soft voice against her hair. A bright blush quickly spread across her cheeks as she chuckled to try to cover up her embarrassment. Sam had a soft smile on his face at her reaction but he didn't draw any attention to it and just sat back a comfortable distance and held one of her hands in both of his against one of his thighs.

"Yeah… I did," she started with her eyes staring fixedly at his hands. She then forced her eyes to move up Sam's body until she was looking at his face as she continued more confidently, "I mean… Yes I did. You see it's Castiel…"

"I know," he jumped in before she could try to complete her thought. "I know he isn't your favorite person… well 'being' on the planet right now, but I… I can't just abandon him. If it wasn't for him I would probably be dead right now… or worse. So I'm sorry if him being here makes you uncomfortable, but like it or not he's a part of the team… Well at least he should be because he can really be of a lot of help to us."

Toni raised to free hand to pet Sam's cheek as she replied, "I know that he is Sam. I… I wasn't lying back when I told you that I accepted your theory about it being the Leviathans possessing Castiel and not the angel himself that broke Death's dam in your head to… you know…" She let her hand drop to cover both of his once again as a sad look spread across her face. "But that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Castiel… he… I…"

"What is it Toni?" Sam asked in a soft, concerned voice as he took his turn to hold one of her cheeks in an effort to make it easier for the two of them to look each other in the eye. He was hoping that the eye contact would help Toni to focus and therefore finish her thoughts about Castiel.

Toni cast her eyes to their laps again as she answered just over a whisper, "I… Castiel… All this stuff that's happening with him, it… umm… It kind of looks sort of familiar to me."

"It does?" Sam exclaimed quietly. Toni let him continue to hold her face, but she did close her eyes as she slowly nodded her head in response. Sam's other hand found the other side of Toni's face and he quickly pecked her lips before saying, "That's great Toni… What…? Wait… Why don't you look like this is a good thing? Toni… Seriously… What's wrong? Why does his behavior look familiar to you? Recognizing it is a good thing, isn't it?"

While Toni formulated her response, she took both of Sam's hands off of her face and held them tightly against one of his thighs. "Sam… I… I think Castiel… I mean I'm pretty sure that he's suffering from PTSD or PTSS, however you want to label it… Or whatever you'd call it for an angel… But yeah…"

"What? Really?"

"Yeah…" She answered almost cautiously. "I know we've all been thinking that he's been acting really weird… you know even weirder than he usually does, but… well after his reaction to Dean's outburst I'm more than certain that that's what's going on with him. I… Uhh some of Will and Alex's… Hell even mom and dad's friends exhibited some of the same behavior after they returned home from combat… But it's not like I'm an expert or anything, it just seemed to make the most sense to me."

"Oh… crap…" Sam replied as what Toni had just explained to him started to fully sink in. "I guess… shit I guess that means that Dean yelling at him like that didn't help things, right? That will only make him recoil into himself or something, right?"

"Not necessarily," Toni countered as soon as he was finished speaking. Sam gave her a skeptical look causing Toni to shrug and start to run her fingertips back and forth gently over the backside of Sam's hand. She kept her eyes on her fingers that maintained their slow, deliberate movements as she said, "You see just like there isn't any one way for PTSD to manifest, there also isn't any one 'proper' way to treat it either. Sure there are a few things like going to therapy or support groups that are common place for each patient, but doesn't mean that it always works every time or in the same way for everyone, you know?"

Sam found himself staring at the back and forth motion of Toni's fingers while slowly responding, "So… if I'm hearing you right… What Dean did back there….? It…? It could have actually worked? I mean that it could have helped to get Cas to snap out of this… whatever he's in?"

"That's exactly what I mean. I've seen it in the past where being given a fairly simple but direct order has caused a soldier to get over their feelings of self-loathing or self-doubt or… well whatever you want to call it almost immediately. It can be effective sometimes… I don't really know or even pretend to understand any or all of the reasons why it works, but from what I can tell… I don't know but it's like the simple directive speaks to something like a base instinct that makes the person a good soldier to begin with…" Sam hummed out a sound of understanding that Toni took as a go-ahead to continue speaking. "Which kind of got me thinking about what's happening with Castiel…? He… He isn't acting like… I mean he didn't react like 'the perfect little soldier' like Dean used to accuse him of being, so it kind of got me… you know I was just sort of thinking…"

Toni trailed off there because she wasn't quite sure how to put the rest of her thoughts into words. Hell she wasn't even sure that she actually knew where that train of thought was going to lead to when Sam had the 'audacity' to ask (in an effort to prompt his girlfriend to continue on her current train of thought), "Okay so Cas doesn't have the same stick up his ass that he did when we first met him… I'm not really getting how that has anything to do with what you saw happening here today."

"Well…" Toni started as she pulled a napkin out of Sam's jacket pocket that she saw poking out behind the cloth. He watched her with an almost concerned eye as she sat back and away from him. He finally allowed himself to relax in his spot away from his girlfriend's touch when Toni started to tear the napkin haphazardly into long strips. He tried his best not to smile when she started to methodically shred each long length of paper into smaller bits of confetti, but his facial expression didn't much matter because Toni got so lost in the act of turning the napkin into imperceptible pieces that she bare noticed his face as she spoke. "Well I think that it shows that he really isn't the same Castiel anymore. He isn't the man… Err… Uhh… I mean he isn't the angel that we met all that time ago, so we have to change our way of thinking when it comes to him."

"Umm… Okay… Sorry Toni… May… Maybe I'm slow, but didn't we know that already?"

Sam's question forced Toni out of her own thoughts and then she stared down at the mess of paper in her lap for a silent moment. Feeling like she had been caught in an unsavory, compromising position in front of the man she loved, Toni jumped up to her feet and started to pace in front of him on the overgrown pathway to the cabin. The small shards of paper fell to the ground off her legs and jacket as she moved back and forth on the ground. Sam nearly stood up to try to comfort his girlfriend when he saw her start to wring her hands together as her pacing became faster and faster, but her held off in order to allow her the time she needed to put all of her thoughts together in her own time.

"Yeah we did," she answered while staring at the invisible path that she was walking and sounding somewhat guilty. "Fuck I don't think that I'm explaining this properly… Fuck… Or what I mean to say… Dammit!"

Sam could see the frustration mounting on Toni's face causing him to jump up onto his feet. He took a couple of tentative steps towards her, but he stopped himself from getting close enough to actually touch her. She was trying to work out what she needed to say and he knew that his trying to wrap her in a hug right now wouldn't be of much help to accomplish that. He instead remained cemented in his spot, just out of arms reach of Toni, and called out softly "No rush Toni… Seriously just take your time."

Toni stopped pacing and looked over at where Sam was now standing with his hand grasps securely behind his back. She smiled warmly and then looked more relaxed himself to try to ease some of the tension between them. "Okay… So we sort of know that he isn't this one dimensional character anymore… If that makes any sense…" Sam didn't know if she wanted him to reply or not, but he still nodded his head in the affirmative none the less. "From what you've told me, Dean… and yourself to an extent… You guys could just yell at him or whatever and he'd react to it… not always the way you wanted him to, but sometimes it would make him tell you more about what was going on because he needed you to understand so you'd do what he wanted… Not like he was manipulating you, but you know so that stuff would happen…"

Although Sam agreed with what Toni was saying, he couldn't really tell where this current train of thought was leading up to and how it might possibly help them in the near future, so he gently tried to prompt her asking, "Okay… That all may be true, but that helps us because…?"

"But it's not working anymore," Toni finished when Sam trailed off. "So maybe we need to try something else. You know, tackle this problem from a new angle… so to speak."

Toni motioned to the stairs where the couple had started their conversation with her chin to indicate that they should both return to that safe haven. Sam and Toni then once again made themselves comfortable on the top step at the front of the cabin. Sam opened his mouth to speak, but Toni quickly silenced him with a sharp shake of her head. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples as if she was trying to soothe away a tension headache. Sam watched her with a worried eyes but he refrained from speaking or moving to keep from disturbing her thought process in any way.

Toni kept her eyes closed and her head cradled in her hands as she shook her head saying in a tone that didn't even attempt to hide her disbelief, "I can't believe that these words are actually going to pass through my lips, but here goes…" She took a deep breath and let her hands fall to her sides and forced herself to sit up straight in her seat. After re-establishing eye contact with Sam, she finally finished, "I think we… err… or I mean I think that I should try to use a kinder, gentler approach with him. He still seems to feel super guilty about what he did to you and he hasn't' seemed to be able to get past that just yet. And Dean… Well Dean is obviously frustrated with all this shit… and I don't blame him! But as we've already seen, yelling at Castiel like he's a misbehaving child isn't going to work right now… well at least not yet."

"Right, so what would your suggestion be to get through to him right now? I mean… What plan have you cooked up in that beautiful brain of yours?"

With a quick shrug of her obviously tired shoulders Toni replied, "Fuck if I know… I guess I'll try talking to him… You know, make him feel somewhat safe and comfortable with all of us so that we can get him to actually help us." Sam opened his mouth, but was once again silenced by Toni simply raising her hand as if she was asking him to let her finish. "We NEED his help Sam to find the actual Dick Roman that you guys have to kill with that nifty little weapon that the Profit helped you discover, but he isn't ready to do that just yet. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to fight, so we HAVE to ease him back into all of this so that he will know that we don't necessarily want him to engage in combat… You know to show him that he can still help us without compromising his new vow of passivity or whatever… and we really have to help him come to this realization soon than later or we are truly and royally fucked."

"Huh… okay… I think I see where you're coming from now… Okay… Is there anything that I can do to help you?"

Toni wrapped Sam in a tight hug and then quietly answered, "Try to explain my theory to your brother and keep Dean out of my way no matter how stupid I sound or look while 'dealing' with Castiel… well at least just for a couple of hours while I try to get through to your guys' angel."

Sam barked out a quick, familiar to Toni laugh and squeezed her tightly in his arms, "The first one I'm not so sure that I can accomplish, but I can definitely… well most probably keep him out of your hair for a while. Good luck to you with Cas."

The couple then gave each other one last comforting embrace and then they walked into the cabin hand in hand. Sam looked down at Toni, unsure of how he was going to proceed from there but still trying to let her know that he was backing her plan. Toni's gaze immediately found the angel of the moment, Castiel. He was still on the floor with his body contorted onto more than one colored dot on the board effectively playing a solo game of Twister. A small smile spread across her face unwittingly and without taking her eyes off of the angel in the room she squeezed Sam's hand before releasing it and walking towards Castiel.

Sam watched Toni for a brief moment and then he followed her lead and moved towards the kitchen. After retrieving a fresh round of drinks for him and his brother, Sam sat across from the older male at the table asking, "So once we figure out which Dick Roman is the one we have to stab, what's the plan to actually get in to execute him?"

Dean gave his brother an indignant look and for a moment Sam thought that he wasn't going to answer him. "You mean IF we ever figure out which one of those evil bastards is the one we need to use the magic bone on?" He gestured towards the spot where Toni was cautiously approaching Castiel and scoffed. "As much as I hate to admit it, Meg's right. So long as Cas is acting like a reject patient from 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' I don't hold much hope for us figuring out which Dick is which on our own."

"We'll get to that part soon enough," Sam replied with a shrug. "But until then, it couldn't really hurt anything to try to come up with a plan for how we're going to get into Richard Roman Enterprises, right?"

Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow and pointed in Toni's direction with his bottle of beer and asked, "You really think she's THAT good?" Sam shrugged and forced himself not to roll his eyes. Dean then shook his head and didn't attempt to hide the contempt in his voice when he said, "Okay fine, I guess that we should start by going over the blue prints and floor plan for the place. Best way to figure out a way in is to know the lay of the land better… Even if it's pretty much useless…"

Toni slowly approached Castiel still wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess. Why had she volunteered to be the one who would try to talk the angel on their side off the ledge? She quickly stole a glance at the brothers on one side of the room and then the demon on the other side of the cabin and shook her head. Sadly she still thought that she was the best candidate for the job. Even if she had no clue what to say right now and had no personal connection with the celestial being that she desperately needed to reach out to right now.

"Right hand green."

Toni shook her head and startled out of her daze at the sound of Castiel's unnaturally deep voice and managed to ask, "What? I… I mean, I'm sorry Castiel, I think I missed what you just said… Uhh… do you mind repeating that?"

"Right hand green," he repeated very matter-of-factly as he pointed to the small cardboard game board with a moving black plastic arrow on it. "When I spun this piece that is what the arrow landed on. You were coming over here to join me in playing this classic American game, were you not Antonia?"

Toni couldn't help but smile at the open, expectant look that the angel was wearing. He looked so innocent in that moment that she almost wanted to say 'yes' and join him to keep from crushing his fragile heart and causing him to lose that look on his face. But she knew it would be worse to indulge him right now even if the truth was going to be somewhat painful, so she forced herself to remain on task and to tell him the truth.

"No… Sorry Castiel," she answered, crouching down so that she was closer to being eye level with him. She kept her voice soft as she explained in a soft, careful tone, "I was never really into playing this until… Well…" Toni hated it, but she couldn't help or stop the blush that spread darkly across her cheeks and neck at the memories this game evoked. "Uhh… until I got to college and… well the rules… they sort of changed for us then."

Castiel looked intrigued as he sat up straight on the large playing board, effectively abandoning his game. After crossing his legs, Castiel folded his hands in his lap and asked, "I wasn't aware that there was a separate set of rules for adults or college aged students. I mean, I didn't see one in the box that I have here… Would you explain the difference to me so that I will be sure that I'm playing it properly?"

Toni laughed as she sat down on the floor, mirroring the angel's current position. "It's not really like there's 'officially' a different set of rules once you reach a certain age Castiel, it's just… Uhh… It's something that sort of happens on its own." She picked up the board with the spinner on it and flicked the plastic arrow absentmindedly to keep herself from having to look into his earnest face while she tried to finish her awkward explanation. "See Castiel… When you… Well us humans… when we hit our teen years, pretty much all of us try to pretend that we're too cool to do things like play the same games we did when we were kids…"

 _Kid's games? Shit! What the hell am I even talking about?_ Toni asked herself silently without taking her eyes off her hands.

Castiel looked down at the sheet that he was sitting on and then he fixed his gaze on the woman sitting in front of him. She seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. Castiel cocked his head to one side as if he was trying to study Toni's reaction as he stated rather than asked, "And this is a kid's game." Toni's whole body stiffened at that comment prompting Castiel to quickly add, "Oh… I think I understand why you did not want to join me. I'll retract my invitation. My apologies."

"Oh goodness! No Castiel," Toni recanted with a chuckle. "It isn't like that… Shit… Okay… Let me try that again, okay? Alright, so what I just said is true, but that isn't the whole story. Now I'm sorry if this doesn't all make sense right away because it's kind of hard to explain, so just bear with me, okay? I swear I don't mean to make this sound so convoluted."

"Alright Antonia, I'll 'bear with you' until you have finished what you are trying to tell me," Castiel confirmed sounding like he had just made a vow that was of grave importance with her.

"Thanks… And you can call me Toni." She paused and shook her head because she knew deep down that it didn't matter if the Angel used her nickname or not, but she still felt compelled to make the comment and let him know that he was free to use it at any time for some reason. "Alright… so when you get older… like out of your teens, something sort of weird happens and you get really nostalgic for your youth. Well not all of the time and not every single human, but a lot of people do… especially when they're in a group of people of the same age and if they've been drinking… because when people get drunk, college students in particular, they'll use these kid's games to… Uhh… to try to… umm… to make a move on someone they might have a crush on… You know, use them as an excuse to get close to someone and all?"

The Angel scowled and let what Toni had just said sink in for a bit. Still not looking like he fully understood her explanation, he questioned, "Games… like this… they're used… in your mating rituals?"

Toni laughed but quickly stopped herself at the look that spread across Castiel's face. She then very earnestly apologized saying, "I'm sorry Castiel that was extremely rude of me, but… Well I've never heard it put that way before and it's kind of funny because that is pretty much the truth. So yeah… I mean… What better way is there to cop a feel without getting into 'trouble' than by having to reach out under someone you've got your eye on so that you can put your right hand on green?"

Toni maintained steadfast eye contact with Castiel, willing him to catch onto what she was trying to explain to him because she was feeling too embarrassed to spell it out any more than she already had. They continued to stare at each other until suddenly Castiel's face started to twitch as understanding began to wash over him. Instinctively Toni reached out to him but she let her hand drop back into her lap when she saw the Angel nearly jump to his feet and away from his previous spot so that he would be out of reach from her touch.

"I do not wish to grope you!" Castiel exclaimed with abject horror as he took a step back, distancing himself even farther away from Toni.

Toni was on her feet in an instant and she fixed the two Winchesters with a withering glare. Although Dean continued to look like he was thoroughly amused, he wisely remained silent. Sam looked back at her with a look that conveyed both confusion and concern causing Toni to guiltily cast her eyes to her feet. She knew that if Dean was finding her predicament to be _oh so_ humorous that the demon must have also been finding her conversation with the angel to be quite funny as well, so she let her eyes drift over to the direction where she had last remembered that Meg had been seated. Much to her surprise and relief, the demon was nowhere to be seen and thankfully wasn't in any position to make this situation any worse than it already had become.

Toni then forced herself to take in a slow, deep breath as she tried to center herself before attempting to continue her discussion with Castiel. When she next spoke, she made sure to keep her voice steady and calm even though she felt like her nerves were going to get the best of her. "I know that you don't Castiel… and… and the feeling is mutual. Plus we're both completely sober, so that takes some of the fun out of it because it isn't like either of can pretend that any inappropriate touching is totally accidental."

Castiel narrowed his eyes and asked, "The last part of your statement… Did you mean for that to sound like it was a joke?"

"Yes I did," Toni admitted somewhat sheepishly. "Look… Castiel when I'm feeling uncomfortable I have this really bad habit of trying to crack jokes to try to ease the tension I'm feeling. I'm sorry, it's… I… I didn't mean to sound disrespectful or anything it's… it's just…"

"What you do," Castiel finished for her without sound like he fully understood what she meant to tell him.

"Right… But getting back to the game of Twister… the Colonel… Uhh… my Dad… he really didn't let the three of us play many games like this when we were kids. He felt that our spare time would be better spent on studying or working out… You know to me sure we kept our minds and bodies in top form," Toni awkwardly explained. She forced herself not to pace while she spoke with the Angel, so he opted to stare at her hands while her fingers picked at the cuff of her hoody. "So the first time I ever played Twister was when I was at a party when I was in high school… After a few beers that translated into Pete McDougal putting his hand down my shirt instead of on a blue circle and… well…then one thing led to another and we sort of ended up…"

Toni fell silent when she felt a hand touch her forearm. When she finally lifted her eyes, she was mildly surprised to see Castiel standing in front of her even though she really couldn't think of anyone else that should be standing there. He looked more lucid than he had during any other part of their interactions and Toni couldn't take her eyes off his face for some reason. He smiled serenely and for the first time Toni actually felt like she was looking into the face of an angel.

"He lied to you Antonia, you were actually his first as well," Castiel said in a soft, compassionate tone. "He should never have said those ugly words to you, especially since they weren't even close to being the truth."

Toni smiled, albeit sadly, and shrugged while replying, "Yeah… well… You know it isn't exactly polite to read someone's mind without their permission either Castiel."

"Right… Of course," he recanted as he snatched his hand away from her arm. "I didn't mean… That wasn't my intention. I do apologize."

This time Toni took a step forward and placed a gentle hand on Castiel's arm to try to show him that she wasn't upset with him. Her voice remained soft while she said, "It's alright Castiel, but I hope that that means that you understand now where I'm coming from when I say that I like you, but not enough to play Twister with you… You know since in the past it always seemed to be a precursor to…"

"Yes, I understand," Castiel interrupted looking somewhat embarrassed. "But you said that your father 'didn't really let you three play games'… but… were there any that you, Alexander and William were permitted to play at all? I've found that 'Sorry' can bring up some very interesting parallels to real life."

Toni shook her head and then took a moment to give Castiel's question some serious thought. "Well he didn't really get all that mad when we were playing 'Stratego' or 'Battleship'…"

Shaking his head forlornly Castiel backed away from Toni saying, "No, I… I don't wish to engage in any battles… I don't… I can't fight anymore…" He then turned his face up so that Toni could see it. The sad, lost look that he was wearing caused Toni's breath to hitch slightly. "War…? Was that the only diversion that your father allowed his children to indulge in?"

"No…" Toni replied slowly. "No… He umm… God this is so stupid, but he would also look the other ways when my brothers and I were playing 'Clue'. He mumbled something once about it helping with our deductive reasoning or something."

Castiel hummed out a thoughtful noise before he said, "Yes… 'Clue'… I believe that could…"

That thought was never finished because the Angel disappeared from the room. Toni sighed heavily in defeat because she thought that she had once again said the wrong thing and had upset him. She had never been good at talking about her feelings despite the breakthroughs that she had managed to make with Sam and her dad. Sam knew her intimately like no other man on the planet would ever get a chance to. He found her stumbling over her words endearing and was infinitely patient with her when she struggled to find the words to describe how she was feeling. In the case of the Colonel they usually did their most difficult soul searching in his counsellor's office. Spence, their counsellor, had been integral in keeping the peace between the McNamaras whenever the father or daughter became frustrated any time they struggled to find the right words to describe their feelings. Now she was attempting to navigate through a mine field of unfamiliar topics without any sort of buffer and she couldn't really remember when she had ever done something that stupid and reckless.

Sighing again in defeat, Toni shook her head and slowly made her way to the table where Sam and Dean were still seated. Dean had gotten up to retrieve a couple of fresh beers from the fridge and offered one to Toni. She shook her head and just barely breathed lout a 'no thank you' because she was so lost in her own self-deprecating thoughts. Dean just shrugged and placed the unopened bottle in front of his brother. Sam didn't acknowledge Dean at all because he kept his eyes securely fixed on his girlfriend.

Toni sat in a chair beside Sam with her hands clasped tightly together on the table. Her face remained scrunched up into a deep scowl that Sam immediately recognized prompting him to reach over and place a comforting hand on her knee under the table. He knew that she didn't like to be interrupted when she was so deep in thought, so he didn't speak but he wanted her to know that he was there and would support her in any way that he could, all she had to do was ask. Toni gave him a small grateful smile and was just about to voice her gratitude when she was kept from being able to by someone else speaking.

"Here it is Antonia," Castiel announced while standing to Toni's left hand side. He placed the box he was holding on the table directly in front of Toni while slipping into the chair across from her, putting him directly beside Dean. "I believe it says here that up to six people can play, so it should be simple enough for us to set everything up for the four of us to play the game together."

Toni grinned but was once again unable to voice her thoughts because Dean scoffed loudly then said, "Clue? Yeah like that's really going to help us kill Dick." He then pushed his chair back, stood up and walked away from the table towards the couch adding, "When the rest of you decide to grow up and act you age… well at least like adults, please feel free to join me over here to do research and try to find a way to actually kill the things that are working at completely destroying our planet."

Sam watched his brother and his facial expression quickly shifted from shock at what Dean had just said to anger at how terse and unhelpful those words were to helping them accomplish their goal. As he opened his mouth to reply to his brother's tirade, Toni stopped him by squeezing his thigh out of sight of the other two men in the room. She then leaned in close to Sam's side and whispered in his ear, "Leave him be for the time being Sam. We're all frustrated and scared right now, but fighting amongst ourselves won't really help us any either."

Sam nodded then she quietly added, "Plus I think I've figured out a way to get those two talking again, but first I have to deal with him." She motioned with her head towards Castiel who was pulling out the game board and other pieces to set everything up to play as if Dean's heated words had never happened. She then turned towards Castiel and said in an overly cheerful tone, "Well it's not as exciting, but I think you should deal out the cards just for the two of us to play. Will and I used to do this all the time, so I think we can make it work."

Castiel shot a worried glance at Sam but then quickly returned his gaze to his hands that were shuffling a deck of cards. He nodded quickly and just kept his eyes on his task of shuffling. Toni picked up a stack of pads of paper and a couple of pencils from the box. She carefully placed a pad and pencil in front of Castiel and froze mid-motion as she moved to place the same items at her place when she saw Sam reach across the table to pick up a second deck of cards.

When he saw the look on the other two people's faces at the table, Sam shrugged and commented, "I could use a break from staring at the surveillance videos because I think they're making me go cross eyed… Plus I'm sure that this game has to be more fun with three people than it would be with just the two of you."

Toni wanted to throw her arms around Sam's neck and to kiss him passionately because she was so relieved that he had agreed to join them, but she restrained herself to keep from making anyone feel too uncomfortable. She even smothered her cheerful smile into her left shoulder because she wasn't sure that she could explain why she was so happy right at that moment, especially considering all of the obstacles they all still had to overcome. Maybe it was just her nervousness coming through in the form of a coy smile because heaven knew that she had every reason to feel worried and ill at ease with all of the Leviathans running amok. Dean was so frustrated that he was barely speaking to any of them. Castiel seemed to have gone so far into the deep-end that the chances of rescuing him looked slimmer and slimmer every day. And Sam… Well Sam seemed conflicted to her. She knew that he wanted to keep her happy but in order to do that he seemed to be annoying his brother to no end. That of course was something that he always strove to avoid doing, but in order to keep on his brother's good side he most often landed himself on the wrong side of his girlfriend. Toni knew that he was walking an invisible tight rope between her and Dean and she was trying her best to help him keep his balance by trying not to always demand that he choose her side. That being said, Toni always felt giddy when Sam ended up baking her without her having to prompt or guilt him into doing so in anyway.

While the three others played their board game, Dean got up more than once to get himself a fresh beer or some food. He studiously tried to ignore the small group at the table, but both Sam and Toni caught him looking at them on separate occasions. Neither one of them knew what to make of the look in Dean's eye, but they both decided to put those thoughts on the back burner. Right now they needed to get through to Castiel, so they remained focused on him especially since their recent efforts seemed to actually be paying off.

Castiel was gearing up to deal out the cards for another game when Toni noticed how quiet the cabin had become. During their previous rounds there had been a murmur of background noise coming from Dean's laptop, but now the whole room was completely silent. She looked over to check on Dean, but she could no longer see him seated on the couch. After sharing a look with Sam Toni got up to check if Dean was in fact sleeping or if something else was going on.

Sam watched Toni put a blanket over Dean's sleeping form. She then proceeded to close Dean's laptop and straighten out some of his research and other paperwork on the coffee table. Sam saw her yawn a couple of times so he figured that she would be wanting to turn in for the night once she had made sure that Dean was as comfortable as he could be sleeping on the couch. Castiel continued to shuffle a deck of cards with a nervous look on his face as he watched Toni move around the coffee table and couch as well as the sleeping Winchester brother.

"So look Cas…" Sam started quietly, jostling the angel out of his thoughts. "It's getting pretty late and Toni is looking pretty tired… So… I was thinking that we should probably call it a night… Is…? Uhh… Would that be okay?"

Castiel nodded and started putting the game's pieces back into the box. He kept his eyes focused on his hands as he replied, "Yes, of course… You and Antonia need your rest in order to be of aid to Dean… I… I'll go out and gather together supplies for your breakfast so that you will have them once you wake."

Toni had returned to Sam's side just in time to catch the tail end of Castiel's comment. She then leaned into Sam's side and innocently said, "Hmm… 'Gather supplies', that's kind of an odd way of saying 'get us breakfast', but thank you for thinking of us none the less."

"Oh… Well…" Castiel attempted to try to explain as his cheeks started to flush with an embarrassed pink tinge. He turned away and made a couple of other noises that almost sounded like he was still trying to find the right words to explain his previous statement.

Toni looked up at Sam to give him a pleading look because she hadn't meant to say the wrong thing. Sam smiled down at her and shook his head as if to say that she had nothing to apologize for before answering, "Well since we have to be so careful about staying away from anything containing high fructose corn syrup because of the nasty side effects we'll encounter, Cas has been making sure to find us purely organic food to eat. He made us a pretty great ham sandwich earlier today and see…? No ill side-effects like Roman and company have been wanting."

Castiel turned around and smiled uncertainly. Toni's eyes moved from one man to the other and she just barely caught the look that the two of them shared. It then didn't take her long to understand what Sam was doing. Since shouting orders or ultimatums hadn't seemed to have worked with the angel, he was going to try using positive re-enforcements with him instead. Show Castiel that he could help them, no matter how small or insignificant the aid might seem and then maybe they could transition that into the angel helping them with more complex things, which actually gave Toni an idea. Of course she'd have to run it by Sam first, but she was more than certain that it would work to get them all on the same track and hopefully well on their way to kill Dick Roman.

"So no more paying out the ass for overpriced organic food, huh? That's awesome," Toni praised as she took Sam's hand to lead him to the bedroom. Castiel's smile looked more at ease until she asked, "Any chance you can source us some flour, bacon, butter, milk and maple syrup before tomorrow morning?" Castiel's face dropped so Toni quickly added, "I was just thinking that if you did all of the hard work that I could whip us up some pancakes and bacon for breakfast."

"Yes, of course," Castiel replied with a bright, some might say eager, smile on his face. "I do believe that I should be able to gather all of that together before you wake."

Toni opened her mouth to thank the Angel, but he had already disappeared. She then followed Sam into their bedroom where they both struggled to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. When Toni woke up to the new morning's light, she found herself wrapped tightly in Sam's arms. She loathed having to move, let alone leave the comforting warmth of the bed and Sam's embrace, but she knew the y couldn't ignore their next job for much longer. They had to get up and start the day so that they could find the 'real' Dick Roman and kill him. If they could ever figure out who the original clone was and if they could actually get Castiel to break out of his funk, which meant that they had to get Dean on board with her insane idea to reconcile the two of them. It seemed like such a hopeless impossibility that she wondered if there was any point in even trying some days.

No… No she refused to let that negativity to infiltrate her thoughts this early in the morning. Sure the big picture was too large to focus on, but any task seemed less scary if she followed her family's advice of worrying about one task at a time. (Well everyone but her brother Alex. He never liked to talk about the obstacles Toni knew that he must have had to have overcome to earn such a prestigious position within his platoon. Instead he would just boast about his conquests off the battlefield or the women he bedded until he had grossed his little sister out so much that she stopped asking him anymore overly personal questions.) To get to 'c' you had to complete 'a' then 'b' and attempting to get there by any other means would just end in disaster. So with that in mind, Toni extracted herself form Sam's grasp so that she could get out of bed and start her day. Sam let out a quiet, unhappy noise and shifted in his spot so much that Toni almost thought that he was going to wake up for a brief moment despite her best efforts not to disturb him.

Toni held her breath and remained still in her spot until Sam completely settled back into a deep sleep once again. While she watched him, her mind started racing until it settled on one thought: breakfast. That was the answer to her previous question. First she could make them all a filling and delicious breakfast with the supplies that she was certain that Castiel would have been able to obtain. She knew that she was always less cranky on a full stomach, so she hope that the same could be said for Dean. Maybe he would be more receptive to hearing out her theories and options for battle plans and that he might even off some useful insights as well if he had something other than whiskey in his gut.

She was smiling to herself and felt so content that she had almost left the room wearing only the clothes that she had slept in. Well 'clothes' was a generous term since she was so tired the night before that she had simply just stripped down to her sports bra and boy-cut briefs. She hadn't worried about being too cold during the night because she had expected Sam to hold her tight while they were sleeping. As she retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants from her duffle bag, Toni smiled to herself thinking that she was actually grateful that the two of them had been too tired for any 'extracurricular activities'. Had that transpired she would have been liable to have stepped out of the room in her distracted, euphoric state in nothing but her birthday suit and that could have made the rest of the day nothing but all sorts of awkward.

 _Dodged that bullet_ Toni though to herself after she had gotten fully dressed. She pulled her hair into a tight ponytail while she watched Sam continue his deep slumber. His naked torso was completely bare as the sheets had pooled around his waist after he had settled back into the bed after she had gotten up for the day. She knew that all he was wearing under there was a pair of loose fitting cotton boxers. They would have been so easy to slip down past his knees not that he was laying spread eagle on the mattress and that she could very easily crawl up to the spot between his legs and just lower her mouth down to…

 _BREAKFAST!_ She screamed at herself silently. Toni shook her head to force herself to look away from Sam's enticing, half-naked body so that she could make herself leave the room. Once she was out of the bedroom and free from the temptation to molest her sleeping boyfriend Toni once again silently instructed herself _Breakfast. Right now just be laser focused on putting together a hearty breakfast. The rest can… No the rest will have to wait. Sam won't want to… 'celebrate' until this job is done. Come on Toni, get your head on straight damn it!_

Breakfast seemed like a simple enough task to complete for now, especially since she found everything that she would need to cook a hearty meal just sitting and waiting for her on the countertop beside the stove. Toni couldn't help but grin at the good that had been carefully laid out by the only angel that she had ever gotten to know personally. As she quickly took stock of her supplies, Toni suppressed a quick laugh because Castiel had seemingly placed all of the ingredients that she had 'ordered' in the exact sequence that Toni had listed them in. But the angel had also included some fresh spinach, tomatoes and onions (Sam's favorite vegetables to put into an omelet) along with a basket of blackberries and another small basket of strawberries (Toni's favorite berries to make a sauce for crêpes or pancakes). How the angel knew her favorite foods was almost beyond her, but then Toni mentally kicked herself when the answer hit her like a freight train. _Who know us better than God? Oh… Shit… Now I'm starting to sound like one of Dad's A.A. counsellors or something… Must start breakfast soon._

Toni started to open the packet of bacon because she knew that it would take the longest too cook, especially to get it as crispy as she liked it, but she stopped mid-motion. While she started at her hands she silently reminded herself _God is in control… He has a plan… Damn it Toni, don't focus on that right now! Bacon, pancakes, sauce… You can control those things. If they aren't edible that's your fault so get your fucking head in the game!_

While she continued to work Toni tried to be as quiet as possible, but every step she took sounded like a herd of elephants in the too silent cabin. She smiled to herself as she stirred the pancake batter because both Sam and Dean were still sleeping. Usually it was Toni that indulged and stayed in bed for as long as possible and she couldn't feel anything but happy that the Winchester brothers were finally doing the same thing she usually did. They all had be through enough rough times to destroy the possibility of a good night's sleep and with the Winchesters' track record she was even more shocked that they were both still sound asleep, let alone the fact that they were still capable of such a feat.

While Toni flipped the strips of bacon in the pan and turned her attention to pouring out the pancake batter on the heated pan she heard a soft groan coming from the direction of the couch. She opened her mouth to call out a sarcastic or comical morning greeting, but stopped herself before she could utter a single sound. Today was about working together for a common goal, so starting a fight with Dean would definitely be viewed as counterproductive by all parties involved. Part of the reason she was fussing so much about their breakfast was to try to make amends, so she once again wisely kept her mouth shut and her eyes focused on the meal she was currently preparing.

The second moan was easier to ignore, but she did jump slightly in her spot when she heard a confused sound and somewhat annoyed voice asking, "Bacon…? Who the hell…? Why…?" The previously muffled voice suddenly sounded completely clear as it inquired, "Why would someone be cruel enough to let the bacon burn?"

Toni didn't completely hear Dean's question at first but once her brain registered the humor he had used she jumped once again and then check the pan to which he had referred. When she saw that his claim was actually an exaggeration of what was currently happening, she retorted with her own humorous tone, "It's called 'crispy Dean, not 'burnt'. No one likes it when their bacon is floppy, so they just need another minute or two to be perfect."

During her response Toni had moved her first batch of bacon from the pan onto a paper towel lined plate so that it would absorb the excess grease. Dean swiftly plucked a piece off of the plate and bit half of it off in one bite while Toni watched with her mouth gaping open in astonishment.

"Mmm… you're right, it is pretty close to being perfect," he stated with a cheeky grin. Toni continued to watch him with a look of disbelief as he finished off the piece of bacon that he had pilfered so he jutted his chin in the direction of the pan that was still on the stove. "The bacon might be fine, but I'm pretty sure that those pancakes are well on their way to becoming beyond hope."

Toni continued to stare at Dean so he more forcefully pointed his chin and then right index finger in the direction of the stove as he pulled another strip of bacon off the plate on the counter. She then slowly turned around to look in the direction to which Dean was pointing. She seemed shocked for a brief moment to find out that Dean's comment was in fact true and was slow to respond to what she was seeing.

"Oh shit!" Toni exclaimed as she literally jumped into action.

After depositing the burnt food into the trash, Toni then turned her attention to Dean and quipped, "Which is why I made the bacon first. You sit and enjoy that while I painstakingly finish making us all a wonderful and nourishing breakfast."

"Uh huh," Dean replied clearly not believing any part of the lie Toni tried to feed him to cover up her mistake. As she turned back to pour a fresh batch of bacon and pancakes, Dean tentatively asked, "Any chance that a guy might be able to make a request in regards to this pending breakfast?"

Without taking her attention off the food on the stove (because she already knew that taking her eyes off it for a second could turn out to be disastrous), Toni shrugged then replied, "The request can be made, but I make no promises that it will be granted."

"Alright… Fair enough…" Dean started slowly as he cautiously approached her side. "Would there be any chance that a guy could talk a… Uhh… ahem… chef into using that unused bacon grease to fry up a couple of eggs? You know, I've heard that it's a sure fire way to cure a hangover and all…"

Toni chuckled softly then answered, "I'd be more than happy to do that, but I don't think…"

Before she could finish her thought, Dean shoved a bowlful of large brown eggs under her nose eagerly saying, "Cas said that they were free range chickens that were treated with the utmost kindness."

Toni stared awkwardly down at the bowl then shoved it out her way so that she could make sure that she didn't let this batch of pancakes burn to an inedible crisp. By this time Sam had awoken and gotten fully dressed, so he nearly spoke up to intervene to keep things from becoming uncomfortably intense between his girlfriend and his brother. In the end he remained quiet when he noticed Toni actually chuckling at Dean's teasing and he realized that she had everything well in hand and didn't need him to ride in to her rescue.

After she plated the finished pancakes and dropped down a new batch into the pan Toni laughed a little too loudly then said, "Okay… Fine… Fine, I'll fry you up some eggs in this nasty ass, artery clogging, ulcer inducing, gross bacon grease… IF…."

"If what?" Dean jumped in hastily when Toni didn't seem like she was going to finish her thought.

Toni smiled at the two pans on the stove as she tended to them and then answered through a chuckle, "IF… You leave me the fuck alone so I don't burn anything else since my supplies are dwindling quickly. I mean, I have Sam fooled into believing that I can actually cook and shit, so I really need to shush so I can concentrate."

"Oh… right… of course! I'll leave you alone to complete your masterpiece, Chef," Dean replied with a tone of contrition as he moved to find a seat at the table. As he retreated to his spot with the plate of bacon well in hand he caught Sam's eye and winked as he gave his brother the thumbs up sign.

Sam smiled and shook his head as if he was laughing, but he didn't actually utter a single sound. As he entered the room he managed to briefly also catch Toni's eye while she continued to try to focus solely on her cooking. He still looked somewhat apprehensive about how everyone was going to act at their breakfast, so Toni flashed him a bright, disarming smile that Sam correctly interpreted as her way of telling him that he had nothing to worry about right now. He then walked behind his brother to pick up the last piece of bacon from Toni's first batch from the plate on the table by his brother just before he moved over to Toni's side to kiss her on the cheek.

"Can I help you with anything?" Sam whispered against Toni's ear too quietly for Dean to overhear.

She shivered at the sensation of Sam's hot breath brushing over her sensitive skin. Before she could even try to formulate a coherent reply Dean called out, "Dude! Toni has breakfast totally under control! Leave the woman the hell alone so that she can finish cooking for us!"

Sam smiled down at Toni, pecked her quickly on the lips and then whispered quickly into her ear, "And thanks… Love you."

Toni's only answer was a dark blush that spread from her cheeks down to her chest because Sam turned away from her back to say to Dean, "Fine, fine… I'm leaving Toni alone to do her thing. But speaking of… Dean I have something that I wanted to run by you, so maybe I could do that while we wait?"

Sam then moved over to the table to sit with his brother so that he could continue the conversation that he was trying to start with Dean. Toni smiled to herself and somehow managed to keep her attention on the meal that she was trying to complete for the three of them. She and Sam had already discussed, in detail, her insane idea to try to reconcile Dean and Castiel, but it was Toni that had suggested that Sam approach Dean with the proposal in the hopes that he would actually give it a fighting chance. Alone, at least that had originally been her preference, so Toni sincerely hoped that Sam was taking advantage of the opportunity for relative privacy that was being present to him right now.

Toni smothered a cheerful smile into her shoulder when she heard Sam say, "So Dean…? Toni and I were talking and we think that we've figured out a way to finally get Cas on board with the whole 'let's kill Dick Roman' scheme… I mean we think that we do if you're up for hearing it out."

Dean nodded then answered while he kept his eyes on Toni's back (and the food that she was making), "So long as she doesn't go back on her promise to make me some greasy eggs then I'm game to hear whatever you two have come up with."

As she reached over to pick up the bowl of eggs Toni called out, "Give it another minute and this batch of bacon will be done so that I can make you your disgusting bacon grease cooked eggs."

While they ate breakfast, Toni and Sam hesitantly explained their plan that they thought would help bridge the rather large gap that had grown between Dean and Castiel. Much to their surprise Dean not only didn't dismiss their ideas, he actually seemed to embrace them. Toni and Sam shared more than one look of uncertainty, but they both refrained from voicing those negative thoughts because in this battle they were winning, so why should they question it? There definitely was the possibility that he would completely change his mind once his stomach had digested all of the delicious, greasy, homemade food, but for now he was on board with the plan, so they decided just to roll with it.

While they finished packing some more weapons and supplies to take with them to fight Dick Roman and his merry band of monsters, Sam and Toni tried their best not to look over their shoulder at Dean as he approached Castiel. He still seemed to be taking their suggestions to heart, so Toni reminded herself that they just had to let what was going to happen to just play out without any more of their interventions. With that in mind she took Sam by the hand and led him towards the bedroom just as she heard Dean say, "Cas… I need a wingman."

"So that seems to be going well," Sam commented almost as if he was asking a question.

Before he could continue Toni quickly answered, "Yeah it does, but that's not why I brought you in here." Sam lifted an eyebrow and then his eyes started to widen in near shock when he thought that he had figured out why his girlfriend had pulled him into the bedroom. Toni immediately felt a warm blush spreading across her cheeks when she realized he had misinterpreted her actions and hastily added, "No, no… As much as I wish I could climb into that bed to make slow, passionate love to you before we head out to our certain death, unfortunately we don't have time for that… at least not for us to do it properly… I… Look do we really have to bring Meg along with us? I mean we still don't know if Crowley has screwed us over with his blood and all, do we really want to bring a demon with us?"

"Toni…" Sam started with an almost apologetic tone as he scooped her into a comforting hug. After kissing the top of her head, he pressed Toni's body against his own and finished, "Want? No… But our plan won't work without at least one person that can teleport. Hell it might not even work with two, so yeah I think we need her. I can't say that I like it, but I think we need it. I'm sorry."

Toni wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and squeezed him as tightly as she could then said into his chest, "I know, I know. I really hate that you're right, but I know…" She then pushed herself out of his embrace then went up onto her tip-toes to place a soft kiss on his lips. "And since we can't have any pre-monster hunt sex, you better believe that I'll be expecting a very enthusiastic round of victory sex."

Sam chuckled lowly then lifted Toni off the ground so that he could kiss her lips more easily. "You better believe that I 'm going to be holding you to that."

Now that they had their final battle plan of attack figured out, Dean, Sam, Castiel, Meg and Toni set out to put it into action. Toni still wasn't overly enthusiastic about having a demon fighting on their team, but Castiel had assured her that Meg's motives were true and that she wouldn't double-cross them, so she resigned herself just to go along with the flow. She had finally been able to put her animosity towards the Angel aside while she helped get him through his episode of PTSD at the cabin and now she actually considered him to be somewhat of a friend. Sam had also reminded her that they had no idea how many Leviathans they would be running into at Sucrocorp so he thought that it might be nice to have someone with superhuman strength on their side that was more clear-minded than the angel on their side. Toni could see the practicality of Sam's reasoning, but she still didn't like the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of her stomach at having to be so close to the demon for such a long time.

Once they got inside, Cas and Dean split off to track down the 'real' Dick Roman so that Dean could stake him while Sam and Toni went in search of the abducted prophet, Kevin Tran. That mission suited Toni just fine because she was in no rush to have a run in with one of those things that had rendered her nearly catatonic back in Indiana.

Since the building was so big, Toni had somehow convinced Sam that they could cover more ground if they split up. Sam wasn't overly excited about parting ways from Toni's side without knowing exactly how many other of the Purgatory monsters they might encounter inside the building, but the sooner that they found Kevin, the sooner the two of them could get out of there to wait for Dean and Castiel. That too hopefully meant that all of this would be over and done with once and for all as well.

Toni completely abandoned the idea of trying to be completely stealthy, but she still tried to be as quiet as the situation would allow as she moved down the corridor checking each of the rooms she encountered for any signs of the teenager. After she opened the third door, Toni immediately cussed herself out mentally for not even attempting to be more covert because she was immediately met by a man in a lab coat who moved too fast for her to slam the door she had opened in his face. She didn't even have enough time to panic before he grabbed her by the front of her jacket and slammed her up against a wall.

"And who might you be?" He asked as he pressed her a little harder into the plaster of the wall.

Toni tried not to wince, but she truly couldn't help it as she replied through a strained voice, "I'm… I'm new… I was supposed to check… check that the prophet ate something… and to… to see if he… needed anything else to be… comfortable."

He leaned in way too close for Toni's comfort and took in a deep breath with his nose tucked in behind her ear before he stood up straight and looked her in the eye to reply, "I don't think so, you smell a little too human to be anything but a nice, light snack for my brothers and sisters or me."

"Well in that case…" Toni started as sarcastically as she could while she kicked her right foot as hard as she could into the monster's groin. Much to Toni's dismay that action actually caught the Leviathan by surprise and he released his grasp on her jacket. She hit the ground hard but regained her faculties quickly so that she could roll away from him before attempting to get up onto her feet when she thought that she was far enough away from him to be safely out of his reach.

She sprinted a few steps towards the still open door but was stopped from making her escape when the formerly downed Leviathan stepped directly in the middle of her path to freedom. He slowly backed her up farther into the room with one hand raised to wag his finger at her as if was scolding a small child. She was grateful that he maintained direct eye contact with her because she hoped that meant that he wasn't noticing that she was trying to unlatch the clasp on the sheath of her machete at the back of her right hip. She was fairly confident that she was going to be able to get close enough for her to get in a fatal blow, but that wouldn't matter unless she could get her damned machete out with her hands shaking as badly as they were right now.

Just as she unhooked the snap on the sheath, his eyes traveled down to her still shaking hand that was tucked behind her back. He cocked his head to one side as he reared his arm back to punch her squarely in the gut. Toni doubled over immediately but couldn't cry out in pain because all of the air got knocked out of her lungs. The impact of the blow also caused her to stumble back a few feet until she hit the edge of a counter she didn't remember being near. She tried to use it to help keep herself upright while she also tried to increase the space between the two of them, but the pain in her abdomen was so severe that she let out a silent cry of agony as she finally crumpled into a ball on her knees with her arms wrapped tightly around her mid-section.

When she landed on the floor, a bottle of industrial cleaner fell out of her jacket pocket and rolled towards the Leviathan's feet. He stepped closer to it and bent down pick the bottle up which gave Toni the opening that she had been hoping for in order to decapitate him. The muscles of her arms were still quaking softly from the trauma her body had just endured, but Toni forced herself to ignore the pain radiating from the middle of her body as she raise the machete over her head and put her whole body weight into her downward strike. Once the metal of the blade hit the ground after slicing through the monster's neck, Toni fell to the floor and nearly passed out from exhaustion. The pain in her gut was still so severe that she remained conscious of it even though her mind wanted to do nothing more than to shut off so that it could try to heal the injuries that had been inflicted on her body.

While she remained in the fetal position on the floor, writhing slightly in pain, Toni noticed that the Leviathan's head was trying to move closer to its body. She vaguely remembered Sam saying something about keeping the head away from the body or they would be able to put themselves back together, so she gathered every last ounce of energy that she had in her body to pick up the head and toss it out the doorway into the hallway beyond with a pain-filled grunt.

Toni had no idea how far away she had thrown the head because she immediately doubled over under another burst of pain running through her mid-section. Then as soon as her head hit the hard, linoleum floor, everything around her went completely black and she finally did pass out like her mind had been trying to do.

                                                                   **********************************************************************************

Sam was still reeling from watching Crowley disappear with Kevin after Dean and Castiel had done the same once Dick Roman had been vanquished, but he did manage to heed the young prophet's warnings and destroyed the cases of 'creamer' that he found in the warehouse. The sprinkler system had yet to catch up with the burning cargo by the time that Sam was rushing down the hallway to find his girlfriend so that they could get the hell out of this factory. Sam wanted nothing more than to start to work at figuring out where his brother had disappeared to after killing the head Leviathan, but first her had to find Toni.

He was sprinting down his fifth empty corridor shouting Toni's name when he saw the first signs of any live since the five other men disappeared. As he got closer to it, he realized that 'life' probably wasn't the best word to use since he was actually approaching was a decapitated head. A head that was moving towards an open door. He immediately recognized the head for what it was and Sam kicked it down the hallway with enough for and accuracy that it would have made any of his childhood soccer coaches proud.

With the head still rolling away from its body, Sam let out a sigh of relief and thence kept moving to the open door. Toni had to be in that room or close to the room because there was no one else left that could have cause that much damage to a Leviathan, so Sam kept his focus trained solely on that room.

"Toni!" He called out letting his relief be heard in his voice when he convinced himself that she was playing somewhere within the four walls of this room. "Toni it's safe to come out! Toni! Toni come on! We've gotta go!"

When he received nothing but silence in response to his shouting, Sam poked his head just inside the door to double check if the room was in fact empty or not. The first thing he noticed on the floor was the body that belonged to the head that he had kicked down the hall sprawled out near a table. Sam felt the corner of his lips pull back in a smile because he knew how much these monsters scared his girlfriend and yet she had seemingly been able to overcome that fear to stop at least one of them. At first glance there didn't seem to be anything else of interest, so Sam prepared himself to continue his search elsewhere within the building.

Sam was just about to turn around and check for Toni elsewhere when he caught a glimpse of something just on the other side of the bulky corpse of the Leviathan. Even though he didn't want to waste time checking on anything that wasn't a clue to find his brother or girlfriend, Sam still stepped farther inside the room to satisfy his curiosity. As he got closer to the unknown object, Sam felt his breath catch because now he could see that it was another body and the jacket that the body was wearing looked heart-breakingly familiar.

"TONI!" He shouted with an anguished cry as he fell down to his knees hard beside her limp form.

"Toni," he nearly whispered as he reached out to grab her shoulder. "No Toni… not you too."

**The End...?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed this journey in my imagination.


End file.
